Previewing The Client List 2.x: A Dude's Review of Lifetime vol. II

In a measure of full discourse, I should mention I am a straight man so in my lifetime, I have managed to avoid the Lifetime network. I think it is somewhere in between the local sports network and MSNBC (natch). I am not entirely sure, but I also think the Lifetime Movie Channel (which I think are affiliated with each other) is among that tier of three digit channels I never go into (which begs the question why am I paying so much for cable when I watch less than twenty of the a thousand channels I have, but anyway).

But recently Lifetime was kind enough to give me access to their screeners so I decided to check out all they have to offer (I fear I will be spending the weekend watching all the Lifetime movies they have to offer including Restless Virgins starring Switched at Birth’s Vanessa Marano premiering this Saturday) one of which is the second season premiere of The Client List. Since I did not have time to watch the entire first season, I watched the eight minute recap video embedded below:

So Jennifer Love Hewitt has to turn to prostitution after her husband leaves her for a mountain of debt and has to juggle being a single mom, dating, and breaking the law. And then her husband comes back to make things even more complicated. But forget about Love, who knew that Bridget from R Kelly was on the show!?! Please tell me on the show she is having an affair black midget that cannot control his bladder while married to Chalky White from Boardwalk Empire. I am actually excited to watch now, let move on to season two.

It dawned on me while watching the second season premiere that this may be the first time I have seen anything with Jennifer Love Hewitt in it since Heartbreakers. Actually, has she even been in anything since Heartbreakers besides Ghost Whisperer? It is amazing to think how Love went from the hottest thing on the planet for a year and half to just completely drop off the cultural zeitgeist.

I really cannot talk much about the actual second season premiere because like many advanced viewing, I am forbidden by the network from reporting any big spoilers, and there is a pretty big plot twist at the start of the episode (which opens where the last season ended with a state trooper getting out of his patrol car) and that plot carries through the entire episode. I can tease that someone quits The Rub, another finds love, there is an unintentionally funny training montage set to Kelly Clarkson, and someone actually utters the line, “You’re really going to blow the clients away, pun intended.” I can also sadly report that Bridget does not have any run-ins with any black midgets. Oh well, maybe next episode.

The Client List airs Sundays at 10:00 on Lifetime. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Client List on iTunes.