Saturday, March 30, 2013

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/30/13



Once Upon a Time: The scene back from the last commercial break may have been the most absurd thing ever aired on network television. First off you had Pinocchio die from a taser, c’mon, how does someone made of wood be harmed by a little electricity? But of course before he died, he was able to crawl out of the police station utter a couple nonsensical words before going to the big wood chipper in the sky. But since he died trying to help someone (and failing at that), the blue fairy was able to turn him into a real boy (again). And by real boy, an actual ten year old who apparently has no memory of the past twenty years. So Pinocchio gets to live even though he helped no one. In fact they are in more danger because of him.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: What a weird way to wrap up the foster brother storyline. Why not to tell Amanda your plan the whole time?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: I guess it is surprising Merle made it this long. He probably should have never made it off the roof. Or out of Woodbury. Or in a prison with Michonne. But it became pretty clear that it is a worse punishment not to die, because instead of putting a bullet in Merle’s head, he sentenced him to a life of a zombie. That may have been the most evil of all of the Governor’s evil deeds.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: So Jimmy has had two years of med school and only one more to go? Since when did becoming a doctor only take three years? I thought it took ten.

The Voice: If there was any question to if the new judges could successfully replace the former ones, it was answered when Shakira pulled out her English to Country dictionary. And Usher had a very entertaining moment when he called Nashville a state despite being born in the same state where the city resides. Even though the coaching panel turned out to be solid, I was a bit worried with the talent on the stage after the first episode because all the contestants were petty lackluster including the weakest four chair audition in the Morgan Sisters. Things turned around the next day (no pun intended, okay, maybe a little) with two artists that deserved all the coach’s button pushes in Midas Whale and Sarah Simmons, both who ended up on Adam’s team making him the early frontrunner (not to mention the Michael Jackson backup singer he picked up a day earlier who I found overrated; Judith Hill is no Amanda Brown). And they really amped up the sob stories this season between the dead bandmates and dead children (made worse by no one turning around). Of course there some absurd sob stories. When you look like a cross between Amanda Seyfried and Emma Stone and the worst thing that has happened to you is getting teased about a snaggletooth, you probably should not be singing Mean.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice using the widget at right.


How I Met Your Mother: I would have liked this episode much better if the chopped off the last five minutes. The only way the ending could have been more depressing would be if they played a Ryan Adams song during it. And no, I will not tell you the ingredients of The Scooter McGavin alcoholic beverage that I created back in college because I am paranoid someone with plagiarize it. That and I may have forgotten the ingredients because I drank too many Scooter McGavin’s in college.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Castle: When we saw Ryan at home I thought, oh goodness, I have zero interest following that guy home. And then he went and got himself slapped by a mobster. Unfortunately the rest of the episode was not as entertaining as him getting slapped.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Go On: Between this episode and Cougar Town, I am beginning to wonder if there ever was a time when Courtney Cox was ever funny.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Justified: It became pretty clear that Colton would not make it to the end of the season, most likely at Tim’s hand, it is a little surprising he got gunned down before the finale (was this Tim’s first on screen kill in the series?) Which makes me wonder who will they kill off in the finale, or how many? Mike O’Malley cannot possible survive after threatening the life if Raylan’s unborn daughter. And will Theo Tonin finally make an appearance or will they be saving him to be the big bad of season five? I cannot wait to find out.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Apparently Philip did not learn that much from Boston Rob because I image Rob would have cut Corrine lose last night. He would have at the very least given Michael the boot because Corrine was cozying up with him. And splitting the vote was silly. If Michael or whatshername actually had the Idol, they would have played it last week. It is a shame that a Favorite is going to win because these are some of the most inept players in the history of the game.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

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