The Thirteen Events That Will Make 2013 Awesome

Thirteen is supposed to be an unlucky number, but there are a few things worth looking forward to the thirteenth year of this decade.

13. Detox – Dr. Dre: It is becoming an annual tradition to start off this list by saying this may be the year Dr. Dre finally releases Detox, but considering he was not able to get it out before the Mayan apocalypse, I think it is a safe bet to take the over on the release of Detox compared to any other event, be it the Cubs winning the World Series, a Veronica Mars movie, or Hayden Panettiere winning an acting award. It does not help that last year 50 Cent said that Dr. Dre is no longer interested in Detox (much like the general public) and it may just be released as an EP at some point.

12. The Mayans Were Wrong (Probably): Sure we are in the unlucky thirteen year, but hey, we are still here. Unless of course you did not think the world was going to explode in mid-December and instead the world would die slowly and we were too busy looking for some big apocalypse we missed the small catalyst that will being on the end of the world as we know it. Since you are still alive, make sure you go out and enjoy life this year. I would say that you only live once, but I do not want to get sued by Drake. Plus Nancy Sinatra is significantly better than Drake and she said you only live twice.

11. Sequels That Won’t Suck (Hopefully): The Last Exorcism 2 (March 1), Kick-(Expletive Deleted) 2 (June 28), Grown Ups 2 (July 12), RED 2 (August 2), Percy Jackson Sea of Monsters (August 16), Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (October 4), and Thor: The Dark World (November 8) all had entertaining to great original films and statistically speaking a couple of the seven will probably have a good serial. Okay I do not have high hopes for the second The Last Exorcism because, well, it is an oxymoron but hopefully the other live up to the first movies or at the very least half of them do.

10. S.H.E.I.L.D. the TV Series: Joss Whedon back doing television would be awesome enough, but continuing his work in the Marvel universe makes this doubly awesome. The only way it could have been more awesome is if Lizzy Caplain, who starred in the Item 47 short film, would have continued her character on the new show (she is otherwise busy, but more on her later). No superheroes on the television show (unless you count the reanimated corpse of Phil Coulson) and a cast of unknowns but I have full faith in Whedon. Hopefully the show will be ready by the fall and does not flutter out like the Wonder Woman reboot that never ended up making it to air.

9. No National Elections: I am sure most of those that live in the United States do care either way, but for those of us living in swing states, no political ads or robocalls are very welcome in this off election year. Unfortunately it looks like 2016 will be worse than last year because Sheldon Adelson, who may have been the biggest loser after backing numerous losing candidates with what is believed to be over $100 million (almost a dollar for every vote cast), plans to double down in the future.

8. Man of Steel: I am still cautiously optimistic about the latest Superman reboot. Zack Snyder’s last movie was so poorly received that there was a groundswell to kick him off the movie. I love Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies, but as executive producer of the movie I fear he may make Superman more serious than he should be. But on the flipside, it cannot possible be worse than the Krypton in the Atlantic Ocean plot from Superman Returns. Can it? We will find out June 28.

7. A New U2 Album: Ever since U2 released No Line on the Horizon in 2009, the group has been teasing that the session had enough songs for another new album which they even dubbed Songs of Accent. That album has yet to materialize but the group, but their record company announced that they would be releasing a new album this year. No word on if the album will be Songs of Ascent, work they have done with Danger Mouse, or a dance album they have also supposedly been working on.

6. Warm Bodies: After Zombieland I declared the 10’s (the tens? The teens? What exactly are we calling this decade?) the decade of zombies. Since then there has been numerous movies, even the kids in The Cabin In The Woods ended up summoning zombies, The Walking Dead is crushing cable ratings records, and thanks to the bath salt epidemic that created actual living zombies. Of course there would eventually be someone who would come along and bastardize zombies with a crappy Twilight with zombies type movie. At least that is what I thought Warm Bodies was going to be until I saw the trailer and, surprise, not only did it not look painfully bad, it actually looked like it will be good. Warm Bodies, coming February 1, is not the only major zombie movie making its way to theaters this year as the oft delayed Brad Pitt World War Z is set to premiere this summer.

5. The Evil Dead: Does the world need a reboot of The Evil Dead? No. Even if Sam Raimi is involved? Not really. Does it need one where Ash is a chick? Goodness no. Even if it is the chick from Suburgatory? Probably not. Will I get excited if this movie leads to Tessa Altman vs. The Army of Darkness? Frack yes!

4. More From The Black Keys: The duo just released El Camino thirteen months ago but it does not sound like we will have to wait very much longer for the next album as the band expects it to be done by the end of Spring. It seems like only Rihanna releases as much music (seven in eight years), but where a Rihanna album is lucky to have one to three catchy songs, The Black Keys always release great albums. No word yet if the album will again be produced by Danger Mouse, who did two of the band’s last three albums.

3. Gangster Squad: After watching Crazy, Stupid, Love, I decreed that every movie should star Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling. Apparently someone was listening because the duo will be playing opposite each other in the period piece set to hit theaters next week. I am sure the duo could even make an Innerspace reboot awesome (McLovin of course would then play Martin Short, make this happen Hollywood).


2. Grand Theft Auto V: After all the massacres, people wondered if the upcoming Grand Theft Auto will be the last of its kind. It is doubtful as long as there is money to be made. And it is always cheap to blame entertainment for society’s ills when it is the parents that should be accountable for letting their kids to watch or play such violent games. I have played all four GTA games released on the two Playstation games and remain fiercely anti-gun. Plus the games are not all bad, you can also steal ambulances and cop cars and do good through the city. GTA V takes the game out west to San Andreas for the first time in modern times and the first modern game to take place outside of Liberty City. Little else is known about the game except it is supposed to be even bigger than the fourth installment and it is expected to be released sometime this spring.


1. Masters of Sex – Seriously, Lizzy Caplan is starring in something entitled Masters of Sex. The show cannot premiere soon enough (but will probably hit Showtime no sooner than April).