We on Award Tour: 2011 Grammy Awards

- What a way to attract an audience that an Aretha Franklin tribute. Why they introduced everyone involved twice. And poor Christina Aguilera, first she flubs the national anthem then falls on the Grammys. It almost makes up for having to sit through Burlesque.

- The first award goes to Train and is the only award given out in the first hour which is why the Grammys is the only award show worth watching. Instead of expanding Best Movie, the Oscars should make Best Song ten to fifteen nominees and perform them all and push most of the awards to “handed out before the telecast.”

- Lady GaGa’s performances are known for being painfully to watch with her smearing herself with fake blood or fake ash, but Born This Way is most notable for just being painfully boring. And “Don’t be a drag, be a queen” may be the lamest chant in a song ever. Hopefully this is the official end of the Lady Gaga era.

- Marky Mark is officially off the hook for worst use of Walk on the Wild Side because that HP now holds that honor.

- I wonder if Muse gets asked to perform if the lead singer didn’t knock up Kate Hudson.

- It is a shame Janelle Monáe isn’t bigger than she is, she is the female embodiment of James Brown. And I really enjoyed the do-wop version of Grenade. Also, bonus points to B.o.B for rocking a monocle.

- Wait, Jewel is a country artist now? Was that common knowledge?

- Odd that Eva Longoria came out just as Desperate Housewives was starting on another station.

- What was with the Sub Zero dancers during the Justin Bieber performance?

- Speaking of Beiber, Donny Walberg is in no position to scoff at the crappy teen starlet because he was ten times worse.

- I liked how Selena Gomez hightailed it out of there after she announced Lady Gaga as the winner. I would too.

- Despite Bob Dylan being even more gravelity voiced than usual, the Mumford & Sons / The Avett Brothers stole the show with the best performance of the night.

- Teddy Pendergrass deserves better than having one line song in honor of him. And didn’t Lady Antebellum sing Need You Now last year?

- Kings of Leon did not look happy that they were paired with Miley Cyrus. And speaking of Cyrus I am completely against her hosting Saturday Night Live because The Miley Cyrus Show is the break out sketch of the season and I fear her showing up on it with ruin it.

- Apparently the Grammys made Cee Lo Green change so many lyrics that he actually forgot them. Or maybe he was distracted by his Elton John costume.

- Just when you thought Katy Perry couldn’t get any worse she breaks out a balled featuring pictures of Russell Brand. Eww.

- I liked how they referred the Cee-Lo song as “The Song Otherwise Known as Forget You” much more entertaining than simply “Forget You.”

- Lady Antebellum wins Song of the Year. Keep in mind this is a songwriter’s award, which went to a song about drunken dialing.

- When Seth Rogan said Adam Levine was part of the Eminem / Rihanna / Dr. Dre performance I thought he was joking, but there he was at the piano. And Dre, it time to stop teasing us and give us an official release date for Detox.

- At least they spruced up the token old white guy moment this year by playing music over him. Now he knows how long winded award winners feel like. Although it was odd how he talked about accepting free speech right after a heavily censored Eminem set.

- I am not the biggest The Rolling Stones fan out there, but Mick Jagger tore the roof off the place. Too bad Raphael Saadiq get mentioned as the guitar player.

- Okay, Lady Gaga wasn’t as boring as Barbra Streisand. It’s too bad Duck Sauce didn’t come out and perform with her.

- Walk Up is a good song and all, but I have never gotten Arcade Fire as a whole.

- If Arcade Fire wins Album of the Year but lost Best Alternative Album to The Black Keys, doesn’t that mean Brothers is really the true Record of the Year?