First Impressions: Survivor: China

Well they blew up the chicken man in China last night and my sources tell me that they blew up his house too. But anyways.

Two seasons ago Survivor trotted out their Jim Crow edition dividing the four tribes by race. Even though they didn’t do that the following season, the producers said that would continue filling the tribes with people of diverse backgrounds which they in Fiji. Then this season in China the racial breakdown goes like this (assuming I am correctly guessing their ethnicity): Blacks - 2, Asian - 2; Hispanics - 0; Whites - 11. But they did bring back the token gay homosexual which I don’t remember them having one for a while and if I am not mistaken this season has the very first French dude. So there is progess in that sense.

And the white people didn’t really represent the race very well, most notably, Courtney Yates, who completely disrespected the Chinese culture by whining through the whole thing with a holier than thou attitude and Leslie Nease who walked out of the ceremony because she only bows to Jesus. Listen ladies: you are the reason why the terrorists, and now most of the world, hate us. Ever heard the phrase when in Rome? And Leslie, I am a religious person myself and have been in a Buddhist Temple before and even have a little Buddha on my bookshelf but I don’t worship him. And didn’t you hear Jeff Probst say it wasn’t a religious ceremony? Morons.

Added to that we get the closest thing to a celebrity in a WWE wrestler (Synergy Alert! Ashey appears on Friday Night Smackdown on The CW which just so happens to be owned by the same company that owns CBS). And not surprisingly, even though Ashley Massaro was on the chopping block, she of course wasn’t the one to leave the first week even though she deserved to go more so than Steve “Chicken” Morris who knew more about the outdoors that the rest of his tribe combined. Hooray synergy. Is there anywhere I can bet that Leslie’s radio station just happens to be owned by CBS?

But you got to love how Probst said that the tribes had to leave all their worldly possessions behind even though they were all dressed in their nice cloths that the show probably told them to wear to the ceremony just so they would be forced to walk around in their underwear all season. Yet the ban of worldly possessions was lifted slightly so the could get their running shoes. How shameless (not that I’m complaining). Zhan Hun (which every time is spoken I think they are saying John Who) then dominated the immunity challenge and looking at their tribe we might have a complete sweep in challenges this year. The show better switch it up soon before that happens. Now for some predictions:

Will Be Most Loved: Dave Cruser
Will Be Most Hated: Lesie
Most Likely to Quit: Sherea Lloyd
Greatest Mullet in Reality TV History: Denise Martin
Girl Whom I’d Still Have Dirty, Dirty Sex with Even if She Hasn’t Showered in a Month: Jamie Dugan
Should Be Voted Off Next: Courtney
Winner: Amanda Kimmel
Back Up Winner: James Clement


Verdict: An auspicious start with the blatant synergy knocking out what could have been the most interesting character this season, the Chicken man. No we have to settle with the gay Morman flight attendant Todd Herzog who at first impressions just seems like a carbon copy of Brandon from Africa. But I’ll be tuning in next week just to see if there is gonna be a rumble out on the promenade. Survivor China airs Thursdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can watch the latest episodes at innertube.cbs.com.