Quaffable, But Far From Transcendent

I finally got around to catching on of last years most critically acclaimed movies, Sideway. All during awards season, everyone keeps talking how the movie should win or how it got shafted in certain categories. So with all the build up, I had high expectations for the film. And to say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

The film follows two guys around on one last hooray the week before one of their wedding. The major problem with the film is neither male lead is likeable. We first catch them in a lie, then we drinking and driving, then they stop by one of their mother’s because it the day before her birthday. Except the son steals her money then skips out on her before she can wake up on her birthday. So before the first half hour is over, I could care less about the characters. Thing don’t get much better from their when they meet some girls on their getaway.

There are also a lot of scenes that go excruciatingly long while the characters talk excessively about wine. The movie could have been cut an hour off its run time if they cut the unnecessary talk about wine. There was even a wine montage that looked liked like a montage from the Partridge Family. Okay, they like wine, now let’s get on with the movie.

The movie does pick up once the female leads disappear, but it’s never a good sign when the first time you laugh in a comedy is an hour and a half in. I think it is easy to see why movie critics like this movie as the main character is a fail writer, and I’m sure many critics can relate as they probably have a few rejected novels or screenplay cluttering up their closets. And I find it odd how all the movie critics can pan movies like Wedding Crashers for its gratuitous nudity yet their quite a lot of it in Sideways. And referring to Sidways, by nudity, I mean male nudity. Full frontal male nudity. A lot of it. I was beginning to think there was a gay porn that accidentally got edited into the film.

In the end, I can’t see how anyone who isn’t gay homosexual, over the hill, wannabe writer, wine coinsurer could possibly enjoy this movie. And if you fit that description and you decide to watch the movie, be sure to look out for cameos by George Bush and Donald Rumsfield.

Sideways gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.