Previewing Hindsight

I always enjoy whenever Laura Ramsey ever pops up on screen. No not because she is a good actress and though she is attracted she is not cut off your left leg just to spend time with her attractive. No, I always smile whenever I come across her is that I am reminded of one of the great lost cinematic gems of the millennium: The Real Cancun. For those that have forgotten, after creating the reality television show craze, the producers of The Real World decided to make a feature length film based on the same concept on the big screen. Of course a reality movie is just a documentary and The Real Cancun made about what other documentaries made: about a buck and a half despite ten times the budget.

Sadly for the cast of The Real Cancun, they did not get an invite to The Challenge or even make a living on the bar circuit like other reality also-rans do, they all just went back to the real real world. Laura Ramsey was the one exception showing up in the occasion in the types of movies that usually populate the second and third tier premium channel for a couple months and even got to bang Don Draper, but then again, what actress in Hollywood not hooked up with Don Draper?

So when VH1 started running ads hyping a new show Hindsight starring Laura set in the nineties (which even the National Geographic Channel considered the last great decade) I was all in from the first notes of The Sign. I may even dig out thee VCR to tape the episodes. Yeah VH1 may seem like a weird fit for a nineties retro show considering in the last decade it has morphed into the all WAGs channel (for those not up with British tabloid slag, it stands for “wives and girlfriend” who are basically the talentless socialite of England) bit this is also the channel that gave us I Love the 90’s. There is an entertaining montage in the first episode with Laura rediscovering all the great nineties fashions which Michael Ian Black and company all waxed poetic on. Oh way did hot chicks in overalls go out of fashion?

Sure recent period shows that most everyone who is watching lived through can be tricky. When done right, like Everybody Hates Chris they can be the best shows on television, but when the writers get too cut, like the cell phone scene on That 80’s Show or when one of the guys on Reunion predicted the other guy in Wham! would be more successful than George Michael, the show will be one and done.

But Hindsight is not you typical period television show, it is technically a time traveling show which starts off in present day on the eve of Ramsey’s second wedding day before she wakes up on her wedding day except this is her first back to 1995. There is not wish to go back or a magical amulet, just what may or may not be some mystical black Buddhist.

It is a good thing the show went back to the nineties because the present day stuff is extremely boring with Ramsey whining in voice over the whole time about being a failure (again, she is not the greatest actress in the world and having her narrate the show may not have been the best idea, Kristen Bell she is not). Really you could skip the first fifteen minutes and not miss anything.

Now back in the nineties, Ramsey has to decide to go through with marrying the passionate long-haired British dude that she know will fail within a decade or just go straight to her boring but safe fallback choice who she ends up marrying in present day anyway. Or maybe there is a third yet to be determined option, maybe the possibly mystical black Buddhist.

Okay, Hindsight is not a great show, but what it lacks in good acting it makes up for in a great soundtrack. Do not pretend you did not smile when you heard Ace of Base in the series trailer for the first time in maybe a decade and a half (well, the non a capella version). Seriously, when was the last time you heard U2’s Numb? Throw in Biggie during a sex scene, The Cranberries during an introspective scene, and the Spin Doctors at a party and the show starts becoming watchable. If there is not a Spotify playlist by the premiere the VH1 marketing department has massively failed. I know it is just the second week in January, but I am ready to declare Hindsight the Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure of 2015.

Hindsight airs Wednesdays at 10:00 on VH1.

Previewing Hack My Life

We have all been there, you are hosting a cookout and it is time to fire up the grill only to find you are out of charcoal. Now you are in the unenviable position of either leaving your own party or sheepishly asking one of your guests to go get you some. But what if you can light the grill with something already at party; maybe marshmallow, maybe the potatoes ships, or possibly even the Doritos? Which of these three party essentials will help you cook the perfect burger in a pinch is the type of information you will learn on the new show Hack My Life.

Yeah, I know, with all the negative hacking stories in the news last year, Hack My Life may not be the best title of a show; it is so bad it is surprising that it is not a sitcom on ABC. The show is hosted by Kevin Pereira (who you may remember as the disembodied voice you heard while starring at Olivia Munn on Attack of the Show) and Brooke Van Poppelen who each week will show you short cuts that could save you time, effort, and money with about ten or so hacks every week. The show is basically Mr. Wizard for adults. Now I need to see if I am brave enough to try to open a wine bottle with a bicycle pump because I am not having much success with an actual wine bottle opener.

Have your own life hacks, viewers will be invited to share their own hacks via a new Hack My Life hub at hackmylifetrutv.tumblr.com, with each week's best hack to be featured on the show. The Hack My Life initiative marks the first time that Tumblr's user-generated content will be featured in every episode of a weekly series.

Hack My Life airs Tuesdays at 10:30 on TruTV.

Previewing Ultimate Survival Alaska: Season Three

Last year I discovered that Ultimate Survival Alaska made for a good stop-gap in between seasons of Survivor, which does not return to late Febuary, for my competition fix (though this year The Challenge starts this week two but at the ungodly hour of 11:00 for some reason). Granted I need this season of Ultimate Survival Alaska to get the stench of Blood vs. Water II from my mind (clearly the format is flawed, the first season was only entertaining thanks to Ciera), one of the bottom five worst season of the show. Really, Baylor and Keith are the only ones from the season I would even mind seeing again. The others I would be mad would get an invite back. Well, I would be mad if I saw one of the twins, the douchebag brothers, or the catty gay dude, the rest I probably will not even remember them if I ever saw them again. With that said I am looking forward to Blue Collar vs. White Collar vs. No Collar; the show is at its best when it divides team by personal or physical traits with the exception of the age season.

Not that Ultimate Survival Alaska is much like Survivor, it is much more akin to The Amazing Race since this is an actual race. Except there are no elimination no silly challenges, all you have to do is get to point A to point B in sixty hours without dieing. And that is the reason to watch, unlike the control environment of Survivor, there is a fair chance of serious injury and even death climbing up glaciers and trekking through bear country. And if you lose your flint, there is no Jeff Probst to barter with for new supplies or more food. Within the first fifteen minutes of the new season, there is already the first near death experience.

This season Team Endurance is back to defend their crown with Team Military, with a new member in tow, is out to avenge their close lost last season. After finishing third, the Mountaineers picked up a new member and since they all now hail from the state dubbed them selves Team Alaska. There is a new team made up of entire newbies called Team Lower 48 with a climber from California, a skier from Utah, and a kayaker from North Carolina. And to say these three to not get along is an understatement, the editor responsible for inserting the bleeps got a workout this season.

The third season opens as usual with teams looking for the Insertion Flag which the producers placed on the other side of a lake where the race starts giving each team the option to either walk around the lake or trying walking over and hope the ice is still thick enough to hold them. Half the teams do trying to transverse the thawing lake. And that is the easy part; from there they have to climb up a mountain to reach the Landing Zone before time expires. Leg twos no easier as they have to descend a mountain right into bear country where they will find the new Landing Zone. Though the competition is grueling, the teams sometime actually manage to have fun like the team that wins the third leg who decides to hide and leaved joke gifts in the winner’s barrel. For those that missed the first two seasons, Ultimate Survival Alaska is a thrilling competition with beautiful scenery that should produce enough entertainment until the new season of Survivor.

Ultimate Survival Alaska airs Sundays at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Catching Up with Homeland: Season Four

There is an old saying among television writers that you do not save anything for the second season because you do not know if you will get one. The Homeland writers definitely used this philosophy writing a big plot twist with the emotional weight of a season finale every two to three episodes (even though they did not really need to do so because everything on Showtime gets renewed, and basically gets five to seven seasons). They burned through enough plots in one season many shows take three to five seasons to get through.

This was a double edge sword because as awesome and epic as the first season was, the second was a bit of a let down and lost more and more speed as the season progressed. Seriously, Brody killed the Vice President by hacking his heart monitor and no one noticed Brody enter or the leave the office in one of the heavily guarded residence in the nation.

But the second season was still watchable, the show completely came off the rails in season three when the writers gave us the love no one wanted to see. I had to rack my brains to think of a show that had fallen that far that fast, but the demise of most television shows are slow to the point you do not really realize until two or three seasons too late when you wonder why exactly are you still watching. The closest I could come up with was the Belfast season of Sons of Anarchy (also its third season), but that was not bad; it was just mostly boring and cumbersome to sit through.

Sons of Anarchy did rebound when the cast returned to Charming for the most part (it would have been better had FX kept Kurt Sutter’s hubris in check not allowing him to do ninety minute or even two hour episodes just so he could squeeze in a extra ten minute musical montage or three). So there was hope for Homeland, the show finally killed off Brody in the season finale even if it was two seasons too late and teased a move to the Middle East with Carrie getting a position in Kabul. Only Lane Kiffen fails upwards more often than Carrie Mathison.

Season four started off with a hard reboot, Carrie was now the drone queen in the Kabul station, Saul was in the private sector, Quinn was doing Quinn things in Pakistan, and not a Brody to be found, except Baby Brody on Skype. The only thing to stay the same was Lockhart still in charge of the CIA and as curmudgeony as ever. The season starts of with the Drone Queen doing what she does best, sending drones to kill terrorists even if they are at a wedding. Being this is Carrie, probably especially if they are at weddings.

The season really pick up with the death of the Pakistan station chief (after seeing him all summer with an Anime type wig, it was weird seeing Cory Stoll with the thin halo of hair and a dark beard). Then the show had to go back to America and baby Brody with Lockhart threatening to keep the Done Queen stateside. Thankfully Carrie wanted to spend as much time with Baby Brody as the viewers did and blackmailed Lockhart to give yet another promotion, this time as Pakistani station chief.

Where as the fist season burned off finale type plot twists every couple episodes, season four of Homeland seemed more tradition with a slow build to one big moment in the anti-penultimate episode when Haqqani’s plan was finally set in motion. Sure the first half of the season was rough in spots (Carrie sleeping with yet another asset, Quinn’s out of nowhere puppy love of Carrie, Saul’s private sector job being utter inconsequential, the mustache twirling evil female ISI agent, and basically every scene the ambassador’s husband was in) the show finally found it feet right around the time Saul got abducted (granted if former CIA directors are really allowed to walk around unintended in Arab country airports, they should really change that policy).

After the raid on the embassy, we got to finally see Quinn shake out of his season long funk and go full black ops rouge. Sure if this was season one, he would have been allowed to kill Haqqani even with Dar Adal in the back seat). And done it in the first five episodes of the season. But know it look like the writers are saving plot for future seasons. The season was so slow moving, Carrie did not bother to even confront Adal until the end of the finale, after driving cross country to confront her long absent mother and night lasagna with Lockhart, Saul and Quinn (one of the season’s best scenes.)

So at the start of season five it looks like Saul will be back as director of the CIA despite being forced out after the CIA building bombing and just being held capture by a terrorist. It is s sad to see Lockhart get forced out because him going HAM on everyone has been the most entertaining part of the last seasons (though I do not know why he wussed out at the threat of killing Farrah), but this is Homeland where everyone seems to fail upward, so he may be president by the start of season five. It will be interesting to see if Quinn and/or Carrie go rouge next season trying to finally get Haqqani. Or the writer will bring back Dana Brody and have her join ISIS with plenty of hallucinations of her father.

Catching Up with The Affair

It is hard to hear the description for The Affair and not think of last year's Betrayal which was one and done on ABC. That "one" was a season, but the show could have easily been pulled after one episode because it was a bit of a bore and it did not help that the lead's American accent came and went from scene to scene. Both shows followed the extracurricular activities of two married people; one seemed to be in the perfect married, the other q bit of a messy one. There is also a murder clumsily tacked onto the plot that just reeks of network meddling which was probably the case for ABC, Showtime seems more laissez faire).

Of course that is the biggest difference is that the same type of show is much more likely to be more watchable on premium channels compared to free television because Showtime can attract better actors, writers, it is easier to tell a concise story in ten episodes compared to twenty-two, and it is doubtful ABC could get Fiona Apple to write them a theme song. The biggest difference story wise is The Affair tells the story from the narrative view of each of the adulterers. Sure, again, ABC just did that again this season with yet another one and done series Manhattan Love Story but where that show just followed the inner monologue from the two leads, The Affair give each lead their side of the story of a single day during their tryst.

Before you have Lost flashbacks where that show would annoyingly re-film a scene from a different point of view, basically seeing the same scene from different camera angle up to four different times, the adulterers Noah and Allison had different recollections of how their dalliance happened. Sometimes it would be as minor as he would remember her hair down and she would have it in a ponytail. Sometimes it would be wildly different (the biggest of which comes in tonight's season finale) and in some cases, he would remember them hooking up in a field but when she retold the story, she was not even there. Really this has to be the best writing gig in town because any pothole or errors in continuity they can just blame the characters on miss remembering.

The most interesting part of this storytelling is just how Noah and Allison view each other and themselves. According to Noah, he is this noble super-dad and husband (well aside from that whole cheating thing), while his parents-in-law are the big bads despite providing his lifestyle probably even helped him transition into a man because his father is not even worth mentioning. To Noah, Allison is a flirty local who always makes the first step.

For Allison, she is the victim, taking no culpability in her son's death; it was either bad luck or her husbands fault. Noah is the emotional support that she can no longer get from her husband because talking to him would mean having to come to term with the death of her some even if Noah come across as a little sleazy, and of course he always makes the first move. Really all the guys in her life are kind of sleazy, her bothers in laws are drug dealers (of course she is an unwilling participant again refusing to admit her involvement), and her boss is constantly trying to have sex with her again for the first time in fifteen years. And again, her mother-in-law can be seen as the enemy even though she was there for Allison when her own mother was not.

The two even have two different views on the murder that happens sometime in the future, Noah thinks he went through a messy divorce while Allison thinks he has been happily married for over two decades. Are they juxtaposition their own realities on him or is the detective telling the two what they want to hear to make him seem more reliable. In the finale we get a third extremely different possibility to the detective’s love life when neither of the two leads is around.

Alrighty, this is the part I am going to get into a bit of the spoilers from the first season now, continue reading at you own risk.

Like I mentioned earlier, it seemed like ABC meddling when Betrayal inserted a murder plotline, but that does not seem like Showtime's MO. But the murder subplot seemed to be shoehorned into most episodes, given about a minute at the beginning or end of each act of the show. The murder victim seem like it was some big mystery, but halfway through the season, the detective just causally mentioned that Allison's bother-in-law Scott was the deceased. Up until that point the other time I remembered him was trying to sneak upstairs with Noah's daughter. Which of course put Noah high on my list of suspects (okay, he was basically the only one, aside from creepy diner owner and un-scene drug traffickers). Not surprisingly Scott turned out to be Whitney's baby daddy.

As I teased, tonight's episode features what is probably the most different retelling of a scene this season which features many of the show's main players finding themselves in the same place at the time. Where I tend to believe Allison over Noah, this scene is one of the few times I believe Noah's version more, plus his version of events may be the best scene this season.

Though it seems like an after thought in the first couple episodes, we do spend more time in the still undetermined future (unless I missed if they let us in on a date). But unlike Betrayal where we got the murder mystery wrapped up in a nice neat bow before the season series ended, The Affair leaves that a bit up in the air. But since this is a premium channel, even poorly rated series get at least a second season and The Affair has already been renewed And since the future seems at least five years away, it may take us a while to catch up.

The Affair airs its season finale tonight at 10:00 on Showtime preceded by the season finale of Homeland at 9:00.

Previewing Sleepless in America

A couple weeks ago, National Geographic Channel highlighted a task we all do and many of us take for granted when their aired their mini-series for eat. When it comes to eating, it seems like most of us do too much or too little of it. Tonight, the channel takes another deep dive in another task many of us think as mundane but everyone does it. But unlike eating, there are not two extremes, it seems like Americans only getting not enough sleep each night.

Sleepless in America takes a look at why forty percent of adults (and seventy percent of teenagers) are considered sleep deprived, some times with fatal consequences. It is theorized that not enough sleep led to the Exxon Valdez tanker cash, the Three Mile Island Meltdown, and most recently the Walmart driver who rammed Tracy Morgan's limo leaving one passenger dead and the comic in the hospital in a month and who is still undergoing treatment for traumatic brain injury.

Morgan is not the only one, the two hour special starts out with the story of a family torn apart by a doctor coming home from a lengthy rotation and veered across four lanes hitting a family of six head on with half not surviving and the other half spending months and years worth of rehabilitation. Drowsiness is not the only result of not getting enough sleep and it is also believe to cause mental health problems, as well as diabetes, heart disease, and an increase risk of cancer and Alzheimer's.

If you are in the forty percent, or have a school aged kid, Sleepless in America may be the most important special you watch on television this year. Over the course of two hours, it will give you warning signs that you are not getting enough sleep and more importantly how to get a good night's sleep if you are one of the millions of Americans dealing with insomnia.

Sleepless in America premieres tonight at 8:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Previewing Eat: The Story of Food

Food: some think about it too much while others it is nothing more than fuel, something to power us through the day. But no matter who you are, you eat it and need it to survive. For me, I am more on the latter side of the equation and really have no interest in all the television shows on the subject. I never understood what the enjoyment of a cooking show is if you cannot eat the finished product at the end of the episode and watching other people "judge" the food even more cruel.

While watching other people cook food may not pique my interested, I am a bit fascinated by the science and history behind food. The National Geographic Channel is looking into those this weekend with their six part seriesEat: The Story of Food starting tonight at 9:00. The series conducted interviews with nearly seventy chefs, authors, food experts, and food scientists including Padma Lakshmi, Rachael Ray, and Anna Boiardi (her family's famous product is spelled more phonetically).

The first episode deals with the "Food Revolutionaries" from Julia Child to Christopher Columbus, yes the guy credited with discovering America. What is sometime forgotten is the very reason he sailed the ocean blue was to find an easier way to transport spices from India but ended up discovering a new spice in the new world: the chili pepper. Food historians also credit food with the creation of capitalism, New Amsterdam becoming New York, and World War II inadvertently launching Chef Boyardee into grocery shelves everywhere.

The second episode will hit close to every grillers heart (and will want to be avoided by vegetarians), "Carnivores." The hour looks into why we eat the meats we do and why we avoid some others most Americans would find disgusting unless maybe they were avid watchers of Fear Factor. The hour also delves into some "meats" me may be better off not knowing about like the hot dog and chick nugget.

Other episodes include "Sugar Rushes" looking at the history of one of our dietary obsession dating back 10,000 when the sugarcane was first farmed. "Sea Changes" looks at the food we fish out of the oceans. "Guilty Pleasures" at processed food and why we just cannot eat one Pringle at a time. The series closes out with "Staffs of Life" looking at the rise of grains that helped up ditch the hunter / gatherer era to a more stationary age.

Eat: The Story of Food airs Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel. If that is not enough food on television for you, the National Geographic Channel is premiering two new series this Monday, Eric Greenspan Is Hungry at 10:00 followed by Chug at 10:30.

Previewing Live Free or Die

For the last fourteen years I have watched Survivor an thought to myself, sure, I could live on a deserted tropical beach for about a month living off fruit and rice for the chance of maybe getting a million dollars. Worst case scenario I get a bunch of nasty bug bites (well, that or fall face first into a fire). Then last year saw the premiere of Naked and Afraid and just the title alone made me think to myself, nope. Nope, nope, nope... no way. Since then a cottage industry of survivalist shows have popped up on the dial including Fat Guys in the Woods (another self explanatory title) and the O.G. survivalist Bear Grylls taking celebrities out into the wild.

One thing all these survivalist shows have in common is that at the end of every episode everyone goes back to their homes with central heating that are withing driving distance to grocery stores with packaged meats and beverages. When the cameras turn off on the new show Live Free or Die, the cameramen may go home to their warm homes, but the castmember stay out in the wilderness where they have lived for years without the trappings of modern technology. Well except for one who brought out his coffee machine out to the cabin he built by hand in the woods.

Live Free or Die, premiering tonight, follows five Americans (which includes one married couple) as they escape to the mountains and swamps of this county to live without electricity or running water. These are former schoolteachers and financial advisers who have left the buzz of the big city for a simple life which is not that simple without electricity and an easy place you can drive to to get food.. And the show has caught some of the survivalist in some hash conditions like the drought in California which is making wildlife scarce (no wildlife, no food) and single digit temperatures in the mountains of North Carolina.

Just because these people have left modern society does not mean they still do not have ties to that world, in episode two we meet one of the survivalists five year old daughter who spends every other week with her father. And just because they are living in the middle of nowhere, that does not mean they are immune to disaster as one of them learn very well at the end of the second episode that may very well threaten their survivalist lifestyle forever.

Live Free or Die airs Tuesdays at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Previewing American War Generals

As we gear up for yet another war in the Middle East (not that you will hear anyone in the Obama administration actually use the word "war") the National Geographic Channel is airing a very timely new special tonight entitled American War Generals. the two hours will feature new interviews from ten living generals who served during war time with names we have all become familiar with like Colin Powell, Stanley McChrystal, David Petraues, and Wesley Clark.

Those all of those generals severed during one of the wars in Iraq, the specials starts back in Vietnam where all but three of the ten generals got their start in the United States armed forces even if just part of basic training and never set foot in the foreign country. But many of those that did see time in the jungles saw eerie parallels to how the second Iraq war was ran.

Throughout the two hours, all the generals, especially the retired ones are very candid about their time on the ground and their time leading troops into battle; seemingly no topic off the table. General Petraeus talks about the "General Betray-Us" and while General McChrystal delves into the Rolling Stone article which led him to the Oval Office where President Obama said he would except the general's resignation.

They are all also very forthcoming on the failures in Iraq (Donald Rumsfeld looks really bad after multiple stories by the generals). One even goes as far to suggest that it was very possible that we could have last that war. Most of it had to do with the leadership trying to fight the way we should against an army, not an insurgency. Hopefully as we reenter the country, we finally learn from our mistakes.

American War Generals premieres tonight at 8:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Previewing 9/10: The Final Hours

Everyone remembers where they were on September 11, 2001, we have all told the story and herd others over the past twelve anniversaries from the first responders to people who were supposed to be in the World Trade Center that day before fate intervened and have even heard President George W. Bush tell his tale of that fateful day. But here is a question that is a little harder: where were you on September 10, the day before our way of life changed? For me and I am guessing many others it was just like September 9, and 8 and many other days that preceded it.

One of the commenters for National Geographic Channel's 9/10: The Finals Hours describes the twenty months after the Y2K scare a "blissful ignorance." Really we lived in a world of blissful ignorance since the fall of communism with the occasional irrational panic over silly things like Y2K. The special features interviews with many New Yorkers talking about the calm before the storm and even finds some people in Portland, Maine who came into contact with suspected ringleader Mohammad Atta on his last day on Earth (his last meal: a vegetarian pizza).

Some of the people interviewed includes a bartender who worked on the 107th floor of the World Trade Center,a New York City newscaster (the big new on 9/10: all the rain that day) Mayoral candidate Mark Green (primaries were supposed to be held the next day), artists who worked on the 91st and 92nd floors, an NYU student who bought her first video camera that days and ended up using very frequently over the next 24 hours, and many others. As many of the interviews focus on the mundane and foreshadows the event to come it is interesting that the biggest event in New York City that night, Michael Jackson's all star tribute at Madison Square Garden is barely mentioned.

As the thirteenth anniversary approaches it is interesting to look back at the time before 9/11 and how hard it is to remember as it has turned into a dark and fading memory. Of course the special does not stay entirely on that Monday in September as all those New Yorkers eventually tell they stories on where they were when the towers fell, including a couple who just missed being in the buildings when the planes hit. But the first half of the special is just as powerful as we lived those last couple hours of blissful ignorance.

9/10: The Final Hours premieres tonight at 8:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Previewing Dallas: The Second Half of Season Three

It is rare when I am truly shocked by a television show these days, but there was my jaw on the floor when Pamela surprised JR Jr. and Emma in their hotel room only to ask the party, not interrupt it. Things made a little more sense when Pamela started convulsing and it became clear she was overdosing and possibly wanted to implicate the adulterers. Hers was not the only life in the balance when Dallas went on hiatus back in the spring when a more tried and true soap opera cliffhanger of a fire left many under the roof in peril (as well as those that went in to save them) as well as leaving us with the question who started the fire.

Dallas returns tonight to finish off the last seven episodes of season three and though I cannot say who started the fire (other than the fact I can declare with complete certainty that it was not Billy Joel) I can say that by the end of the hour you will know who started the fire. There is even a flashback to confirm what exactly happened that started the blaze. And though I cannot say who it is, I can also say one person who was alive at the start of the last episode will no longer be breathing at the end of tonight's episode (okay, I can also confirm that this is not Billy Joel either).

Though the fire and Pamella's overdose were the bi cliffhanger from the last episode, there were a couple of little plots from the last episode that will shake up Southfork. There was the kiss between Ryland and Ann (which Judith saw, fact she will no doubt use to her advantage). Emma was banned from Southfork (granted no one will be living there was a while). There is the ranch hand's wife Christopher is hooking up with and is a prime suspect to be the arsonist. Then again Drew Ramos is still n the loose somewhere. Though most of tonight's episode takes place at the hospital, we do learn more about just why Nicolas is so ken to take over Ewing Global, and it is not just about helping Elena.

Dallas airs Mondays at 9:00 on TNT.

Previewing Wicked Tuna: North vs. South

When I first reviewed Wicked Tuna the majority of the post focused on my dislike of the city of Boston and how their accent boils my skin. The only thing that rivals my hatred of Boston is the enjoyment I get when I can watch them lose (unfortunately member of the city are prone to cheating leading numerous tainted championships in the past decade or so). Since the majority of the city's population are doushebags (or as they are commonly refereed to:massholes) I was not at all surprised when Wicked Tuna announced a spin-off where the massholes from the original series would sail south after the season on Boston was over to invade North Carolina to loot the tuna from local fishermen.

Wicked Tuna: North vs. South opens up with us getting to know the local fishermen , three boats that features one with a crazy first mate, another with a pair of brothers, and a third with a religious captain. But not long after the introduction they spot two rouge ships off in the distance a pair of boats that sailed down from Gloucester, Mass: the Hot Tuna lead by TJ Ott and Captain Dave Marciano of the Hard Merchandise (Tyler McLaughlin will complete the northern aggression when the Pin Wheel finally arrives in the second episode of the season). Making the invasion even worse have two more boats to fight fish for, North Carolina has a twenty-three ton yearly quota, which comes out to about two hundred bluefins.

Of course the massholes are on foreign turf and will have to learn a different way to reel in their catch. Back home they would sit in one spot waiting for a bite, but in southern waters the best way to catch a fish is greensticking, where you use an artificial squid on a thirty-foot pole in hopes to entice the bluefins to the surface. Then again the Boston guys will probably fin a way to cheat before the quota is filled.Here is hoping that when the twenty-third ton is reeled in, the south finally rises again, at least in the waters of North Carolina.

Wicked Tuna: North vs. South airs Sundays at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

57 Channels and Only This Is On:8/16/14

Ray Donovan: Kate is not actually going to believe that story? She seems too smart to believe that those three would come together and finally come clean. I have a feeling she is going to dig deeper into Sully's girlfriend before she is done with her story. And it looks like my Cochran is into wife swapping theory is going to be right even though they came just short of confirming that this week.

Masters of Sex: Oh snap, Virginia just completely put Bill in his place multiple times in the span of minutes. Libby could learn a lot from her because she failed miserably putting Coral's boyfriend in his place. And poor pretzel king, first his wife cannot give him a child, and this week we learn she is a lesbian, though unbeknownst to him yet. I wonder if he will ever find out or if Betty can keep her under wrap.

The Strain:Of course the Master vampire dates back to the Nazi. Television shows and movie rewrite that bit of history a little too often to make the bad guys look even more bad. But hey, at least we got some more vampire killing again this week. I am guessing the lead singer is up next. Now the question is when is the exterminator going to join the vampire hunters beause you know that is going to happen eventually.

Switched at Birth: So the big social episode of the episode was chicks wears tuxidos to prom?  Alightly.  I am with the school on this one.  Daphne finally gets her intervention but still gets one more bit of self destruction in before she realized she had gone off the deep end. It looks like rock bottom is going to follow and maybe we will get the Daphne in jail season that I thought might happen when she got caught blackmailing a State Senator.

Murder in the First: Say what you will about the show, but they definitely took a much different path than other season long murder mysteries. When the season began, Eric Blunt was the biggest suspect for both murders which may me think there was no way he did it (I was convince d that the perp would turn out to be Steven Weber in my the bigger star always does it in crime drama theory). But the show never did offer up any real red herrings so Eric Blunt was the only real suspect all season. Like every single mystery series before it, I am not sure it really work, but It was definitely an interesting try.

Under the Dome I did not really think Uncle Sam was dead and was convinced that the hole went somewhere after Barbie fell in, the only question was where it went. Apparently we did not have to wait long, it goes outside. The bigger question is how does Barbie get back in the dome because I am guessing that happens instead of the more obvious Barbie telling everyone jump in the whole because there would be no show if that happened.. Granted maybe that should be the case and end the snow there because it ran its course a long time ago.

Pretty Little Liars: Can they just give Hanna her own show at this point because she is the only interesting part of the show anymore. Or at the very least have someone really kidnap Allison because she is really sucking the life out of the show since she has come back.

Previewing Legends

After the out of the box success of Homeland, producer Howard Gordon became a hot commodity, even if it came at the cost of the show that put him on the map (season two of Homeland was a step back in quality while season three fell off the cliff). Now the shows he was able to sell after that success are finally hitting the small screen. FX won a highly contested bidding war for Tyrant which premiered about a month ago to a resounding meh by critics. Another highly coveted property, Legends premieres tonight on TNT.

When I first saw the previews for Legends my first thought was, "Great, this will essentially be a prequel to Taken where we learn just how Liam Neeson got his very particular set of skills with Ned Stark as Neeson." Okay technically the show is based on the award winning spy novels by Robert Littell. In his iteration, Ned reattaches his head to his neck to play Martin Odum, a undercover agent for the FBI's Deep Cover Operations (or DCO). And like every good law enforcement story, he is the best at what he does and is a loose cannon.

This of course means he butts heads with his team leader Ali Larter (Varsity Blues with who he has a storied past with . Their commanding officer Steve Harris (Justified) is a little more tolerant to Stark because he does get the job done. Their team is rounded out by new to the team Tina Majorino (Veronica Mars) who provides tech support, Amber Valletta (Revenge) also pops up as Stark's ex-wife but unless their kid gets kidnapped by Albanians and sold into the sex trade, I do not really care about that storyline.

Legends stars off with Odum deep undercover, off the grid for six months as he infiltrates a militia group thought to bomb a Wichita building and looking for bigger targets. Though it looks like Legends will primarily be a procedural (and a much better one than the last deep cover show TNT put on, Dark Blue) do not expect every episode to wrap up in a nice bow with each case closed in an hours time. The second episode abruptly ends just as Martin morphs into Dante Auerbach, a "Lord of War" who hopes to locate a Russian refugee kidnapped by Russian seperitists to make him build a bomb somewhere in Los Angeles.

More interesting than the procedural aspect is when Odum is attacks by a homeless man that tells him that Martin Odum is also a Legend just like Dante and Lincoln Dittmann, the unemployed construction worker who joined the militia. As death surrounded people connected to the homeless man, it becomes clear that this is not just the rantings of a crazy person. The death also piques the interest of Morris Chestnut (Boyz in the Hood) another FBI agent in a different department tasked with investigating the homeless man's death .

Of the two new Gordan projects, Legends is the better watch because Sean Bean is a vastly more interesting lead and this show actually seems like it knows where it is going (being based on a book probably helps). This show also seems to have a small bit of a sence a humor whir is vastly missing in Gordan's other two shows, there is a scene tonight in a strip club which particularly made me chuckle. Though the long term enjoyment of Legends depends on just where they are going with what Martin learns from the homeless man. Gordan once said of Homeland that you can no longer shock audiences with plot twists, you can only shock them with when you do them. I am guessing we not learn Martin Odum's true identity until the end of the season. Hopefully Gordon shocks me with when that actually happens.

Legends airs Wednesdays at 9:00 on TNT.

Previewing Franklin and Bash: Season Four

It seems like just last year I was calling Heather Locklear a television show fixer, someone brought in to help a struggling franchise.  Well, she is gone from the new season of Franklin and Bash.  She is not the only ones, as the new season starts, Carmen and Pindar are no longer employed by Infold-Daniels.  Technically neither is Carp, but that actor is returning to the series.

Which frees up some room for some new characters.  First up is a new creepy private investigator who also seems to know his way around a computer just in case the boys need Pindar-type assistance.  Also new is a fresh out of college lawyer who is extremely overeager to get first chair courtroom experience.

Cast overhaul aside, the draw to the show has always been the wacky court cases and the wacky antics of the titular characters.  Up first tonight is an archeology who does not care for Indiana Jones (of course the only one he likes is Crystal Skull).  Of course Stanton Infeld is still lurking around and had his lawyer licence revoke which seems to be a seasonal occurrence on the show.  This leads to some cash flow issues that naturally Franklin and Bash think outside the box ways to solve.

Franklin and Bash airs Wednesdays at 10:00 on TNT.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 8/10/14

Ray Donovan: It looks like we may have finally learned Cochran's vice, and, umm... does that mean his "Scrabble" parties are actually swinger's parties?  I really could not tell if the chick he groped was fazed or not.  If not, that lends to my swinger theory.  I also figured that Ray would bed the reporter eventually, just not after one episode.  Interesting that he would intercept her from meeting with Mickey knowing her life would be in danger if she really learned what went down on the docks the night Sully died.

The Last Ship:  Did no one really not think to have the captain disguise his voice or let a female talk on the com just in case the Russians were listening?  I have when I am much smarter that characters that are supposed to be the smartest people in the room.  But then again, just how smart am I for watching a Michael Bay show?

Masters of Sex:  I am glad I did not look up the William Masters biography in between seasons because I was extremely shocked that he ended up punching out his boss and then ended up at a black hospital.  Makes me wonder if his nanny will somehow end up in his study now.  You know Bill wants to know if races react differently to sex.

The Strain:  A couple years ago, it seemed like every show had someone getting eletroshock theraphy, this year it is vampire autopsy.  And this one ended up being grosser than the one on Penny Dreadful.  You would think that after seeing just how long that biting thing was, they would not enter a house where another suspected infected person was without a way to block it.  Well at least the CDC seems to finally be teaming up with the old vampire slayer.  Though my favorite part may be the vampire in the shed (how very Shawn of the Dead) and the wife willing to feed the annoying neighbors to him.
 
Falling Skies:  So Lexi spends all that time in the cocoon and come out virtually unchanged (except appently for her eyes which I would not have noticed had it not been brought up), well at least physically.  She is apparently telekinetic now.

Switched at Birth:  Wow, out of control Daphne went dark this week.  C'mon, you cannot try to make out with Travis on the Ferris Wheel.  I am guessing a mother / daughter trip to AA will be coming sooner than later this season.

Pretty Little Liars:  Well at least drunk Hanna is still entertaining.  Granted she has not gotten into cocaine yet like Daphne.  But the big new is that my lesbian Swimf@n dream may actually be coming to fruition.  Though it is unclear if the new girl likes Emily or like likes her.  But unsurprisingly we did learn she has a sordid past and of course it involves Jenna.

Previewing 7 Deadly Sins

Everyone knows that one guy who takes everything too far just to make a point.  Morgar Spurlock is just that guy.  We first met him with Super Size Me where he ate McDonalds every day and if the cashier asked if he wanted that supersized he had to say yes.  He continued this the full thirty days even when his doctor said it could have a lasting effect, even death (his wife was less than thrilled too).

Superlock would then expand that thirty day idea for an FX series where he lived on minimum wage for a month and worked in coal mine (other people took on tasks for the other episodes).  He would also be that annoying guy for documentaries where he tried to find Osama bin Laden and highlighted how saturated we are with advertising for The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (presented by POM Wonderful who paid a million dollars to get their name in the title.  Morgan also followed around somethings called bronies and One Direction.

Morgan Spurlock returns to the small screen tonight with 7 Deadly Sins.  Sure Super Size Me would make for an interesting episode for "gluttony" but Spurlock is not spending thirty days indulging in every sin (I am not sure if I wanted to know what he would have done for Lust).  Instead he is playing more of an Alfred Hitchcock role presenting every sin and introducing us to people that embrace each sin across the seven episode.

Tonight, of course starts off with the sin we know Morgan is very well versed in, Gluttony where we meet the owner of the Heart Attack Grill and it patrons, one of which had a triple bypass after eating a Triple Bypass Burger (a half pound of beef for each bypass, onions and a not so special sauce: it is chili).  At least he had the decency of heaving his heart attack at home, two people have had one right at the dining establishment.  Then we meet Darling Nikki, a seven hundred pound webcam model and her boyfriend.  We also meet what may be her fate in the form of coffin makers for the morbidly obsese.  Hearing what is done to you after death just may keep you out of the Heart Attack Grill.  And before you think about it as an alternative, cremation of the morbidly obsess may be even more disturbing.

Next week is Lust where we meet men who desperately want to be women (but may not have the money or nerve to go all the way) make themselves into living dolls and the people who make the full body suits.  There is also who identifies as being crippled and moves around in a wheelchair instead of his two able legs.  Lust of course heads to a brothel, an old folks home, and a female self pleasuring maker who specializes in, oh goodness, I cannot even bring myself to type how he makes his items.  I will say I was surpised to learn this is legal and PETA should get involved to get it outlawed.  But it is clear that there are plenty of people out there that can keep 7 Deadly Sins on the air for years to come.

7 Deadly Sins airs Thursdays at 11:00 on Showtime.

I Want My Music Television: 8/4/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Heart Is a Drum - Beck


Beck’s latest album is a bit of a downer, but that does not mean he cannot still get a little weird in his music video for a song off the album. And it may not get more trippy than seeing current day Beck walk with his “Loser” self and other images from his very first music video from over two decades ago.


Rollin' and Tumblin' - The Gaslight Anthem


I am not sure if the chicks in the black leotards in the new The Gaslight Anthem video are supposed to be a warped homage to the Single Ladies video, but I am just going to ignorantly go ahead and believe so.


Electric Lady – Janelle Monáe


Do we really such a blatant commercial for some picture taking watch at the start of the video? As someone who proudly had a calculator watch, I do not see anyone buying that. I was under the impression the only people who still wear watches are douchebags who think flashing a Rolex will impress people. The only new product from the Janelle Monáe video I would think about buying is the singing wall pictures. I would take a Kimbra one when or if it hits the market. Maybe a T-Boz one too if they are cheap.


Did We Live Too Fast - Got A Girl


Love Mary Elizabeth Winstead and her new group with Dan the Automator, Got a Girl, is good enough, but their first video just comes off like a bad rejected Twilight Zone episode.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 8/3/14

Ray Donovan: To show just how more entertaining the second season is from the first, last year when Ray was trying to get Bridget into private and dour and featured Connor attacking someone for a reason that still was not completely explained other than he is turning into a hot head like his father. This time around the douchebag producer was even entertaining on his never-ending quest to have sex with his favorite pornstar. Sure it ended out exactly how I thought it would, with her getting a role in his movie, but it was still entertaining to watch. This is turning into one of the most improved seasons of television ever.

Masters of Sex: Why is it the smaller episodes (or what insiders call bottle episode) always reveal the most? The majority of the episode was just Bill and Virginia in a hotel room, but even role playing we learned so much about the two and how they view each other. This was an early contender for Best Episode of the Year.

The Strain: Finally, after three episodes, we finally got our first vampire kill. Well, maybe, as vampire lore, stake through the heart and decapitation is the only way to kill one; I am not entirely sure if bashes skull in qualifies as decapitation. Certainly at some point it does. But that was not even the big news this week, which was the full frontal male nudity on basic cable. That was not something I needed to see. Maybe I should not have asked what that thud was during his trip to the toilet.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I wonder if they added the weird Daphne / hooligan kiss to make the Toby / British chick kiss less awkward. Seriously, does the kiss a chick to get her to shut up and end a fight ever work in real life? I have only known it to end in a slap and more yelling.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Under the Dome: So Uncle Sam killed the Token Hot Chick because she was one of the hands “holding up the dome,” what? Why start with her, why not off one of the annoying teenagers first, or his psycho nephew? This show is just infuriately dumb.
You can stream Under The Dome on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime users.

Murder in the First: So Eric confessed after the trail that he did kill the stewardess and I am guessing he did not just say that sarcastically just to taunt the detectives. So I guess the final two episodes will be the detectives trying to get him on the murder of his father, whether he actually did that or not. Hopefully it solved and they do not save that trial for next season.
You can download Murder in the First on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Let me preface this kiddies by saying do not drink alcohol, it is bad for you and makes you make bad decisions, with that said, drunk Hannah is becoming the best thing on the show.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Tyrant: When the sheik got sick in the meeting I thought for sure someone poisoned him, be it the defense minister, or even his son or himself just to make Jamal look guilty. But I came away from meeting thinking there is no way he makes it very far, the only question is when and who is responsible. We actually got the answer to both at the end of the episode with Jamal in the bathroom with the toilet bowl. And for the first time, I am interested where the show goes next.
You can download Tyrant on iTunes.

The Bridge: I actually wanted to see Ray and Charlotte’s trip to Alaska. Oh well.
You can download The Bridge on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 8/2/14

Quote of the Week: He does other things for me: he takes me seriously. (Virginia Johnson, Masters of Sex)

Song of the Week: What Child Is This – The Rosewood High School Choir (Pretty Little Liars)

Big News of the Week: Your Next Peter Pan Is…: When NBC announced the casting of Christopher Walken as the first addition to their Peter Pan musical instead of the titular character, it singled to me, do not get excited to have a big name star put on the green leotard (granted I did get excited thinking that a capable though not big draw Brie Larson would have a chance). NBC finally filled the role and the announcement was a bit underwhelming. The role went to Allison Williams who stars on Girls, but that pretty much makes up her whole IDMB page (it should also be mentioned she is the spawn of NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams who gave a tongue in check announcement on the Nightly News saying, “family members confirm she has been rehearsing for this role since the age of three” which was accompanying the younger Williams in costume at the age). Again, not that this matters because unless she bombs worse than Carrie Underwood, most people will be talking about Christopher Walken performance the next day anyway. There is a reason why his name was announced first, he will be the star and the face of the show. Since NBC did not take my suggestion for Peter Pan or Captain Hook (I would have tried for Jack Black for the latter), maybe they will take my advice and cast Ramona Flowers as Tigerlily.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“It’s Not For Everyone” The Strain, Sunday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Keys - Hooray for Earth (Amazon Digital Music)

New Album Release of the Week: They Want My Soul - Spoon

New DVD Release of the Week: Community: Season 5

Video of the Week: In a story I broke a couple lines ago that Allison Williams will star in the upcoming adaptation of Peter Pan. Her acting resume is not very long, it is basically Girls and a bunch of web stuff, but her musical resume is actually smaller. But Williams did get her role on Girls when producer Judd Apatow saw her singing Nature Boy while being backed by musicians playing A Beautiful Mine (aka the Mad Men theme song) so she apparently has the pipes. There is also a scene from Girls where her character does a hilariously over the top version of Stronger and hilariously over the top is exactly what I look for in my musical theater actors. Really I did not know much about Williams prior to her casting but after watching these two and a half minutes I am one hundred percent all in on Williams as Peter Pan and really in general. Unfortunately, that video is un-embeddable (watch it here) so here is the A Beautiful Mind / Mad Men mash-up, but seriously, click the link to hear her singing stronger too.


Next Week Pick of the Week: L Word Mississippi: Hate the Sin: Friday at 9:00 on Showtime: Showtime ® gives viewers a look inside the daily struggles of a dynamic group of Southern lesbians in L Word Mississippi: Hate the Sin, a 90-minute documentary executive produced by filmmaker Ilene Chaiken (The L Word®, The Real L Word®) and the award-winning Magical Elves directing and production team of Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz (Top Chef, Katy Perry: Part of Me). The film spotlights the unique challenges of being lesbians in between the “coasts” in the religious, conservative deep South. Directed by Oscar® and Emmy® nominee Lauren Lazin (Tupac: Resurrection), the documentary looks at life outside more progressive metropolitan areas in America today where gay women endure hardships, bigotry, bullying, sexism and racism while trying to live among their predominantly straight neighbors. Featured stories include a newly out-and-proud former pastor banished from her church, but who later regains her self-esteem by launching a program to support her local LGBTQ community; a white mother who would accept her daughter’s black lover, if only she were a man; a couple grappling with both infertility and female-to-male gender transitioning; and a former life-long lesbian struggling to “pray the gay away,” and hoping to do the same for her openly gay son. The documentary is a continuation of Chaiken’s exploration of modern-day lesbian life: her groundbreaking Showtime drama series The L Word ran for six seasons on the network and followed a group of Los Angeles-based friends as they navigated careers, families, friendships, inner-struggles and romantic entanglements.