57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/21/13

Mad Men: Maybe it was because there was only one hour this week or it featured the triumphant return of Trudy Campbell, but this episode was much more entertaining. Can we please, instead of continue to pop into the life of Fat Betty, just use all that screen time to see what Trudy is up to? Actually I wish the show would feature more Trudy and less Pete.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: As I have stated multiple times, Blake is clearly the best coach on the show and I have agree with him more than any other judge when it comes to picking Battles and other decisions, but letting go of Caroline Glaser was a colossal mistake on his part. I actually do like Danielle Bradbery and glad she advanced (she was number 9 on my Blind Auditions Power Rankings) but there is just something special (or dare I say diaphanous) about Caroline’s voice where you just cannot dump her this soon in the competition. Thankfully Adam (and Usher) wisely went for the Steal. Hopefully she will turn into this year’s Amanda Brown for Adam.

What exactly is Blake doing this season? I remember last season he flat out said that he only want to take one country artist to the Live Shows (and did the same the previous two seasons) yet this season he placed a non-country artist with a country one and each time, the more country artist advanced, and considering Savannah Berry, his best country artist is yet to come he will at least have five country singers going to the Knockout Round (montage contestant Justin Rivers could make it a clean sweep). Maybe after two straight wins, he is going country or going bust this season. Too bad he did not tell Caroline and his other non-country contestants his plan when he was fighting for them in the Blind Auditions. So do not get comfortable Taylor Beckham and whoever he steals next, you probably will not be spending too much time on Team Blake.

Really the only other thing that stuck out to me this week is how dramatic the makeovers were. At her Blind Audition, Caroline was dressed like my grandmother but transformed into some hippie chic model (note to Caroline: wear your glasses more often, and by more often I mean always). But the most dramatic change was Amber Carrington who looked like she was dressed for a PTA meeting at her audition but looked significantly better when they put her hair up and a more fitting dress on her. And she won, and rightfully so. Sasha Allen just over sang the song and her flaws were very apparent while singing with Amber.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: How disappointing that we did not get to see the wedding planner’s “redonkulous” body. But there again, there is always the internet where you can do an image search of Mircea Monroe. Ted was complete right.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: The writers deserve a pass considering the conditions they were under while writing this season, but that was a really odd plot twist at the end. Essentially J.R. committed suicide just to frame Cliff Barnes for that murder. And it was a little weird that no one seemed to care that his henchmen killed him. You would think they would be a little mad that he let think J.R. was murdered and not tell them that J.R. was dying so they could at least say goodbye. But anyway. Now with Cliff and Rylan in jail (I do have a feeling the latter will be getting out by the second episode next season) apparently the big bad next season will be Elena. Alrighty. So all this time she grew up with some dude who would end up running a drug cartel?
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: My favorite part of the episode is they put handcuffs on Bigfoot without bothering to take off his costume. If Beckett was so skeptical about the existence of Bigfoot, then why did she have oversized handcuffs on her?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: All shows are guilty of hyperbole when it comes to promos, but Survivor may be the worst of them all. Finally the show lived up to the hype with “one of the craziest Tribal Councils EVER” (not so much with Dawn losing her mind over a lost retainer) with Malcolm pulling out his two Idols, then telling the dominate alliance that they have to turn on themselves. And who would have guessed that Erik, the Dumbest Survivor Contestant Ever, would be smart enough to point out it would wise to not play the Idol because no one would be stupid enough to vote for someone who says they are going to play it (keep in mind this season was filmed before Malcolm successfully pulled that same bluff last season). So even though Special Agent Sheppard ended up going home, it still was an entertaining Tribal.

That was until I went to sleep that night and thought about the episode and the history of Survivor. I racked my brains and could not think of a time when the producers of the show put a second Hidden Immunity back into the game post merge. Come to think of it, I could not remember a season when they put any more Hidden Immunity Idols back in play after they were used after the merge. So the episode started out with the Stealth R Us alliance having the numbers to easily vote out a member of the Douchebag even with a Hidden Immunity Idol because they had enough people to split the votes. Then during the episode, there is an Immunity Challenge that clearly favors athletic guys that Douchebag #1 wins fairly easily with Douchebag #3 in a close second (Douchebag #2 stupidly got eliminated) and then Douchebag #3 just happens to find a Hidden Immunity Idol even though none have been put back into the game after the merge before making them bullet proof at Tribal? That just does not pass the sniff test. I call shenanigans. That does not pass the sniff test
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: I have been down on this season because they focused too much time on the adults, put Tessa in a boring relationship with a jock, and neutered Dalia. The last hour seemed like a reboot back to what I loved about the first season, even with an action film quality fight inn the halls of a high school. And I am not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed that I easily recognized the song on Lisa’s cat mix as It Must Have Been Love by Roxette. But that makes me wonder if you have to pay a licensing fee for a song if you recreate it with cat sounds? On a side note, if the show gets renewed, they need to figure out how to get Tessa to dance more next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: I was reading a couple weeks ago how someone complained about this show saying that the show could go nowhere because we know how it ends (the Jennings will be on the losing side) which means the show will lose most of its tension. And though I doubt the Russians will end up winning the Cold War on the show, it is clear we are living in an alternative timeline where anything can happen, live a scientist and multiple FBI agents can be blown up (image if that happened today) or a Russian General being killed in the Mother Land. But the most fascinating part of this episode was that Elizabeth had some good old fashion American fun for the very first time.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: After a very long single shot opening, I thought they would not have a cut in the entire episode (sans the commercial breaks of course) and would have been much more interesting if they did. And goodness was Evil Annie extremely attractive. And despite airing the Christmas episode almost a month after Easter, the delay did have a timely Hannibal Lecter reference that now airs the same night.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: After the premiere, I was trolling the message board and came upon an interesting theory that Dr. Lecter was feeding human meat to Will in that dinner he prepared for him. I bring this up because this week Abigail asked, “He was feeding them (the girls her father killed) to us” to witch Dr. Lecter responded, “Very likely.” That pretty much confirms to me that he was feeding human remains to Will, and basically everyone he cooks a meal for.

Another basically confirmed mystery this episode is the Hannibal is the copycat killer. It certainly was not a coincidence that he heard Will’s lecture on how the copycat would never kill like that again, and as soon as the team returned Minnesota, another girl was hung up by antlers in a place Hannibal knew everyone would be the next day.

It is also surprising how great a character Abigail is (okay it should not be that surprising considering Bryan Fuller is involved and the guy knows how to make you feel something about bit characters). Who would of guess a teen girl could go toe to toe with Hannibal Lecter but I do hope they find ways to work her into the rest of the season. Those if she remains a key figure in the show, I have a feeling she will be dead or in jail by the end of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 4/20/13

Quote of the Week: Ms. Lounds, it’s not very smart to piss off a guy who thinks about killing people for a living. (Will Graham, Hannibal)

Song of the Week: Rough Boys - Pete Townsend (The Americans)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: MTV Movie Awards: You are officially old when you opt for watching Mad Men instead of an MTV awards show. But being a completist (I have seen them all) I ended up watch the awards later. As I write this a week later, I actually cannot remember anything that happened. Either it was really uneventful or I really am getting old.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Vikings "Sacrifice" Sunday at 10:00 on History

Free Download of the Week: Wildest Moments – Jessica Ware (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums foe $5 April’s $5 albums include The Black Keys, The Avett Brothers, Jason Mraz, and Death Cab for Cutie.


New Album Release of the Week: Bankrupt - Phoenix

New DVD Release of the Week: Gangster Squad

Video of the Week: I have no desire ever to go to a music festival, hanging out in a sea of people on a campground for a weekend in extreme heat sounds like the worst thing ever. But had you told me that R. Kelly would join Phoenix during their set at Cochella last week to perform a mash up of Ignition (Remix) and 1901, I definitely would had spent all my money to fly out to the California desert to see that happen. Thankfully the performance got uploaded to YouTube so I can enjoy it alone in the comfort of my climate controlled study.


Next Week Pick of the Week: NFL Draft, Thursday at 8:00; Friday at 6:30 and Saturday at Noon, ESPN: It is the greatest time of the year again for us Browns fans. In a time of unparalleled parity, we have only been to the playoffs once in twenty year. And now we are in year one of yet another new regime (with another that may come soon considering our new owner just got raided by the FBI and IRS earlier this week and a legal analyst Lester Munson said: “I think that's in the realm of possibility” when asked if new owner Jimmy Halsem could lose the team in the near future) so really all we have is the draft which is filled with home, dreams and optimism… right up until the point where were trade up just to draft a thirty year old quarterback who turned out to be worse than the younger one we already had. I am really beginning to believe Bill Simmons is right when he says God hates Cleveland.

Around the Tubes: 4/19/13

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Spoiled Rotten Pets, An Apology to Elephants, Out There, Lovestruck, Superhumanoids, The Impossible, Helix, Arthur, Saint George, Deal with It, TruTV Upfronts, BottleRock Napa Valley festival, Revolver Golden Gods Award Show, and The Fosters.

- New Show Alert! Spoiled Rotten Pets certainly lives up to its name when Beth Stern (as in Howard’s wife, and if you forget she will remind you once an episode) travels the country to see just how far owners will go to pamper their pets. There will be pigs, ferrets, ducks, and even a Bark Mitzvah. Yes, it is exactly what you expect. This is not a fluff show, Beth does call the owners out on their eccentricities, but you cannot help but wonder how much better Howard would be confronting them. Spoiled Rotten Pets premieres tomorrow at 9:00 on Nat Geo Wild with back to back episodes.

- Monday is Earth Day and HBO will be celebrating by premiering An Apology to Elephants at 7:00. Narrated and executive produced by Oscar nominated actress Lily Tomlin and directed and produced by Emmy winner Amy Schatz, the documentary illustrates how elephants live in the wild – from their matriarchal structure to their truly impressive memories – and examines the problems and issues that arise when they are brought to live in captivity in zoos and circuses.

- Tonight is the season finale of Out There and if you missed any episode, IFC will be airing a marathon of every episode starting at 5:30 leading up to the 10:00 finale.

- Sunday, ABC Family will be airing their latest original movie Lovestruck and you can watch the trailer to the musical below:


- In need of some catchy feel good pop? Give a listen to Superhumanoids, who give me a mellower The Naked and Famous vibe. Listen to So Strange below via Soundcloud and look out for their debut album Exhibitionists on June 11.



- New on DVD and Blu Ray this week include The Impossible starring Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor.


- As I mentioned when talking about Syfy’s Upfronts last week, Helix from the dude behind the Battlestar Galactica reboot is hitting the channel this season and now you can watch this first look of the show:



- This May, Arthur is helping kids tackle another tough subject with the premiere of two new episodes about bullying. Parents are invited to visit the Arthur website for resources and though starters on how to talk to their kids about bullying, and to tune-in to the episode premieres on May 6 and 10 on PBS KIDS (check local listings).

- Now that it has been split into three networks, FX is bolstering its comedy block by signing Saint George to a 10/90 deal (if the first ten episode do well it will get 100 overall). In the sitcom, George Lopez will portray a man who struggles to balance his demanding ex-wife, his 11-year-old son, his overbearing mother who just moved in, and his uncle, as well as his new role as a philanthropist “giving back” by teaching history once a week at a night school.

- A day after it premiered Who Gets the Last Laugh?, TBS announced it was going continue in the hidden camera direction by greenlighting Deal with It. The show will pick unsuspecting members of the public who will be secretly dared to pull a prank on their unwitting companions with absolutely no time to prepare. If they agree to participate, they must obey all instructions given through an earpiece from a secret control room nearby. Deal with It will be hosted by Theo Von, or as I call him, Theo from Road Rules.

- TruTV is the latest network to have its Upfronts when it announced its intention to shift half its lineup to comedic reality to target its growing “Funseeker” audience. New shows that fit this mold will include including Panic Button, in which contestants must brave a haunted house without pushing a button that will allow them to escape; Big Sam's Kentucky Auction (working title), a look at the unpredictable world of a Southern auction house; and Cash Dome Pawn, a new entry in truTV's growing franchise of pawnshop series.

- eBay, the world’s largest online marketplace and a leading platform for charitable giving, is teaming up with the first ever BottleRock Napa Valley festival to create one-of-a-kind VIP experiences involving the festival’s musical artists and partners. The packages, including VIP passes, meet & greets, backstage access, original signed memorabilia and more will be auctioned through eBay’s Celebrity platform with 100 percent of the proceeds going to support various charitable organizations. For more about the auction series go to: ebay.com/bottlerock.

- The fifth annual Revolver Golden Gods Award Show presented by Epiphone has gotten even bigger with the announcement of a special performance by Danzig, including a special Misfits set with Doyle, along with appearances by some of the biggest names in hard rock and heavy metal. Taking place Thursday, May 2 at Club Nokia in Downtown Los Angeles, the sold-out event will be broadcast live on national television for the first time through AXS TV and broadcast in the United States and key international markets through Xbox LIVE and Revolver’s Facebook page. The highly anticipated performance joins previously announced live sets by Metallica, Five Finger Death Punch, Anthrax, Stone Sour, The Dillinger Escape Plan and Halestorm.

- We are still a month and a half away from the series premiere of The Fosters and before then you can gaze at the Key Art below:

Previewing Chasing Ice

We have probably reached the point in the climate change debate where no one is changing their mind on the subject, you either believe it is happening or you are a simpleton who cannot be bothered to turn on the Weather Channel or even look out your own window to actually see it for themselves as we are currently living in a time of record hurricanes, tornadoes, flood, droughts, even the Earth has started opening up and swallowing people more often.

So it is doubtful that anyone’s mind is going to be changed by Chasing Ice, the award winning documentary that is airing tomorrow at 8:00 on the National Geographic Channel (ironically almost all the footage from the climate change deniers montage comes from Fox News as both channels are owned by News Corp). Though anyone who sees the time lapse of glaciers receding at almost a mile per year, it is disturbing to think that there are people out there that would think it is a hoax.

Chasing Ice comes from acclaimed environmental photographer James Balog and his Extreme Ice Survey who set up time-lapse equipment in Greenland, Alaska, and Montana in sub-zero conditions where the technology had been untested before for over three years. There is even a subplot that threatens the whole project when Balog has to undergo his third knee replacement surgery as all the walking up and down mountains has done serious damage to his body. But silly debates, aside, Chasing Ice is a visual wonder with plenty of breathtaking pictures and video of the frozen north.

Chasing Ice premieres Friday at 8:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Previewing Locked Up Abroad 8.x

John McCain on Locked Up Abroad seems so obvious it is a bit surprising that he has not appeared on the show before as the Senator may be the most famous person ever to be “locked up abroad.” Maybe it is because most people know the stories of the Navy bomber pilot who was shot down over Hanoi and spent five years in the infamous Hanoi Hilton where he was tortured for most of his stay. We have all seen the photos of his bloody body being dragged around by the Vietcong and him hobbling off the plane after his release.

Though in solitary confinement for most of his stay, McCain was not alone, communicating in code with neighbors in the next room, one of which was Ernie Brace (the two do not meet face to face until years later) who was the longest prisoner of war in Vietnam being held behind enemy lines two months short of eight years. Ernie actually spent the first half of his time in a small bamboo jail which only became more confining after each failed escape attempt before being moved to the Hanoi Hilton three and a half years after originally being captured. His story is so harrowing you will not even notice that half the episode goes by before the more famous McCain shows up.

There is a second episode tonight which you will want to stick around for if only because the episode is entitled Snake on a Plane. It is the story of Tom Crutchfield, the self proclaimed “Mick Jagger of the reptile industry” who would successfully smuggle crocodiles, tarantulas, king cobras, and yes, snakes around the world who escapes to Belize to avoid prosecution, but ends up being imprisoned there with no electricity, plumbing, toilets or running water in his cell. The show gets back to drug related roots next week when an English stockbroker moves to America to be an ecstasy dealer in Arizona only to be thrown into one of America’s deadliest jails where he witnesses firsthand skinheads murdering someone.

Locked Up Abroad airs Wednesdays at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel. You can watch select episodes on Hulu. You can also download Locked Up Abroad on iTunes.

Previewing Who Gets the Last Laugh?

For anyone who watched MTV Punk'd and thought to themselves, this would be much better as a game show, you are in luck because that is the basic premise of Who Gets the Last Laugh? and wouldn’t you know it, the show comes from Punk’d co-creators Jason Goldberg and Ashton Kutcher. Kutcher is absent on screen, instead Who Gets the Last Laugh? Is hosted by Donald Faison (Clueless) and three comics complete to produce the best pranks on regular citizens with a studio audience picking a winner who gets to donate $10,000 to a charity of their choice. Sorry losers, your charities do not even get mentioned.

Tonight The Big Bang Theory’s Kunal Nayyer, who surprisingly does have an accent in real life (or TBS made him use it not disorient their viewers who watch the ten hours of The Big Bang Theory programming the network airs in a week), Bill Bellamy, who reminisces over Rock and Jock Basketball with the host (which begs the question, is it not time for a Rock and Jock reboot? Certainly Dan Cortese is not busy) and Jeff Dye. Each comedian controls the action off sit much like Kutcher did but it may be the people actually pulling the pranks to keep an eye on. Remember Punk’d launched the careers of Dax Sheppard, Bill Hader, Whitney Cummings, B.J. Novak, Kaitlin Olson, and Jill Wagner.

Coming up this season Actor/comedian D.L. Hughley gets a new car at the car wash. Danny Masterson, star of TBS's Men at Work, exposes a cheating wife. And Saturday Night Live’s Cheri Oteri has everyone screaming about ice cream. MADtv's Aries Spears puts a locksmith in lockdown (which is personal favorite set up of the first couple episodes). Comedian Natasha Leggero gives gas station customers an unwanted friend. And Andy Dick gives a bride's hairdresser the blues. Comedian Charlie Murphy is a limo driver's worst nightmare. Owen Benjamin, co-star of TBS's Sullivan & Son, arranges an unusual family dinner. And The Middle’s Chris Kattan creates a security breach. And Saturday Night Live’s Finesse Mitchell does a bang-up job at the car wash. Comedian Luenell tests the loyalty of office temps. And Growing Pains' Alan Thicke (Mr. Seaver!) turns a club VIP list into Purgatory. Also competing this season will be Tome Green, Bam Margera, and Nicole Sullivan.

Who Gets the Last Laugh? Airs Tuesdays at 10:00 on TBS.

Lyrics Quiz: Inner City Blues

Today is Tax Day, lucky enough for 47% of the population, all you have to do is fill out your tax forms and get any money you paid last year back (to be fair, there are plenty of corporations like GE that do not end up paying any taxes either). Of course even if you do not end up any taxes, you still have plenty to worry about as laid out by Marvin Gaye from Inner City Blues (“Natural fact is, honey that I cannot pay my taxes”). So I put the song through iTunes Genius function and here are the songs that came up. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section (or e-mail me). If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. Every day there's something new, honey, to keep me loving you. And with every passing minute. Ah baby, so much joy wrapped up in it. Heaven must have sent you from above.
2. Wait a minute something's going wrong. Someone’s on the phone, three o’clock in the morning. Talking about, how she can make it right.
3. A boy is born in Hard Time, Mississippi. Surrounded by four walls that ain’t so pretty. His parents give him love and affection to keep him strong, moving in the right direction.
4. My brother sat me right down and he talked to me. He told me that I ought to not let you walk on me. And I am sure he meant well.
5. Evolution, revolution, gun control, sound of soul. Shooting rockets to the moon, kids growing up too soon. Politicians say more taxes will solve everything. And the band played on.
6. Oh she may be weary, young girls they do get weary wearing that same shaggy dress.
7. I get down with my girlfriend, that ain’t right. Hollaring, cusing, you wanna fight?
8. Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man?
9. Born a man-child of the sun, yeah. Yeah, saw my work had just begun. Yeah, Found I had to stand alone, yeah. Well bless it now I've got my own, oh yeah.
10. Don’t let my glad expression give you the wrong impression, baby I’m sad. I’m sadder than sad. You’re gone and I’m hurting so bad.
11. It’s been too hard living but I’m afraid to die. I don’t know what’s up there beyond the sky.
12. There is a long man that doesn’t like the short man for being such a rich one that will not help the poor one.
13. Hey girl, what's your fantasy? I’ll take you there to that ecstasy. Ooh girl, you blow my mind, I’ll always be your freak.
14. Don’t get so excited when I come home a little late at night. 'Cause we only act like children when we argue fuss and fight.
15. Now if you feel that you can’t go on because all of your hope is gone and your life is filled with much confusion until happiness is just an illusion.
16. A woman will sell her precious body for a small piece of paper it carries a lot of weight. Call it lean, mean, mean green.
17. Why do you use me try to confuse me? How can you stand to be so cruel? Why don’t you free me from this prison where I serve my time as your fool.
18. It could all be so simple but you’d rather make it hard. Loving you is like a battle and we both end up with scares.
19. Girl Don’t you ever be sad, lean on me when times gets bad. When the day come and I know you are down in a river of trouble, you about to drown.
20. My sister killer her baby because she couldn’t afford to keep it yet we’re sending people to the moon. September my cousin tried reefer for the first time, now he doing horse: it’s June.
21. Something told me it was over when I saw you and her talking. Something deep down in my soul said, “Cry girl,” when I saw you and that girl walking out.
22. She gives me money when I’m in need. Yes she’s a kind doll, friend in deed. (I Got a Woman - Ray Charles; guessed by Kevin)
23. Don’t need no fortune or fame. I just want you close to me. No time for castles in space. Or living in make believe. I’d trade it all for just a rainy day.
24. I got what I got the hard way. Got to make it better every day. Oh honey I say don’t you fret. Cause you ain’t seen nothing yet. (Soul Man - Sam and Dave; guessed by Kevin)
25. I’m filled with desire, could it be the devil inside me? Or is this the way love’s supposed to be?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/14/13

Shameless: So it looks like Steve may really be sleeping with the fishes. Granted it is hard to believe he really is dead without actually seeing a body. And then Fiona wastes the money for her on plastic cups. Alrighty. I wonder just what her and Kev plan on doing with them.

Mad Men: Wow that was a boring two hours. In lieu of discussing what happened because I may fall asleep at my keyboard, I will instead just post a power ranking of facial hair at Sterling Cooper Draper Price:
1. Harry Crane
2. Ginsburg
3. Don Draper
4. Bert Cooper
5. Stan Rizzo
6. Roger Sterling
7. Ken Cosgrove
8. The Annoying New Guy
9. Betty Draper
10. Pete Campbell
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

House of Lies: I did not see the team fracture like that. I guess it should not be too surprising that Clyde would jump ship even though he almost showed a conscience earlier this season, but for Doug to not follow his mentor was shocking.

The Voice: I pretty much summed up my thoughts on the week, and the entire Blind Audition in the Power Rankings, but I got to thinking that since then like bringing back people to audition again, maybe they should put even those who do not get picked on iTunes and whoever sells the most downloads will get an automatic invitation to the auditions next season. I have a feeling Jane Smith would have charted higher than a vast majority of the people that did make a team (which may be why the show currently does not do this. But anyway. Here my favorite performance of the week (and second of the season): Caroline Glaser.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Dallas: I have made light of I’m sorry your parent dies sex, even on this show, but I’m sorry your father was responsible for killing your unborn children sex is much more disturbing.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Another nerve racking episode. How dare the brolliance target Andrea? Serves them right to waste an Immunity Idol. Really dumb move by Douchebag #1 to give his to Malcolm. Not dumb enough to be an automatic inclusion whenever I update my list of The Dumbest Survivor Constants Ever list, but he will definitely be in consideration. C’mon Douchebag #, who cares if they did vote out Malcolm, Now you are still in the minority without a safely net and have to win every Immunity Challenge to make to the finals without fail (or hope they target Malcolm and Eddie first, then go on a winning streak).

I am surprised that everyone keeps trying to turn Dawn thinking she is on the bottom. For most of the game, I have assumed the top of that alliance was Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, and Philip. But two weeks in a row, they approached her, and two weeks, she used that to help her alliance take out the right person. And even though Douchebag #1 made a boneheaded decision, Douchebag #2 just got played by Andrea fiddle. Between this is his inability to realize his four person hot alliance was less than the six ugly people alliance, he is eligible for the Dumb list too. Serious, what happens if he does not tip Andrea’s name? Do they really vote for Malcolm who uses Douchebag #1’s Idol and Andrea?

And what was Philip doing tipping his hand? Sure Boston Rob got rid of anyone who he thought may turn on him, but he never let them know until he wrote their name down on the parchment. Unless Philip did that to make the brolliance think they were voting for Malcolm to make Michael and easy vote, but I am not sure he is that devious. Now Malcolm knows Philip is gunning for him and Philip knows Malcolm knows. Now the question is do the Favorite feel comfortable now the Idol has been flushed and put all their votes Malcolm next week or the still split just in case? Cochran is an overthinker so he has to know there is another Idol that can be in play and Andrea is clearly paranoid after last episode. Oh yeah, and Dan may be going crazy next week. But even if she pulls herself out of the game, the Favorite can split the votes three ways for a tie to flush out the Idol and vote out the other guy in a revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Americans: Two shocking deaths in two weeks. This week may have been more shocking because I thought they would use Gregory to continue the wedge between Elizabeth and Philip. Almost as shocking was Elizabeth going soft by actually letting Gregory walk out the door alive. I was a bit disappointed that Gregory somehow managed to survive the shootout at least for a little bit, long enough for Stan to ask him a question or two in the hospital.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Zombie-Community does a musical puppet show. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: Holy Wonderfalls reference! Too bad Gretchen did not run into her old high school friend Jaye. Or least her Doppelganger. I am just going to assume that Jaye has spent the last decade in a mental institution and will not be released until a Kickstarter movie gets made.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 4/13/13

Quote of the Week: Reynold, Eddie and Michael must not know me that well if they think that emphasizing the testosterone unity between us, “We’re men, we’re men and we hate women, and we’re gonna, you know, slap each other with towels in the locker room and chug beers.” That doesn’t work with me. That doesn’t appeal to me at all. I don’t want to be engaging in any sort of masculine tomfoolery with these numbskulls. (John Cochran, Survivor: Caramoan)

Song of the Week: Musical Balloon Ride – Sara Bareilles and the cast of Community

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Syfy Upfronts: Syfy had its upfront this week and here are some tidbits:

- The most promising item that came out of their press conference was that they ordered a pilot from Bryan Fuller (who created three of the best shows of the past decade and his latest Hannibal may make it four) called High Noon and is described as an imaginative, out-of-this-world series exploring what happens when the countries of Earth establish colonies to mine the Moon's resources and discover a new form of life. Chaos erupts in a genuinely emotional, humorously thrilling and always unexpected fashion as the people of the Moon race to uncover this life form's powerful secrets.
- They also ordered a series from Ronald D. Moore (who did the Battlestar Galactica reboot) called Helix about a team of scientists investigate a possible disease outbreak in an Arctic research facility and find themselves trying to protect the world from annihilation. Adn now someone needs to explain to me how this is not The Thing: The Series.
- A second season of Ghost Mine will air thirteen episodes starting in September.
- Three new reality shows are coming this year: Joe Rogan Questions Everything (premiering July 16 at 9:00) with the comedian searching for answers to life’s most startling theories. Cosworld (premiering August 27 at 10:00) about the imaginative world of cosplay competition. And Fanemonium (premiering in the fall) which celebrates the incredibly unique, often misunderstood, and infinitely fascinating fan girl and fan boy culture.
- Premiering in time for Halloween, will be a horror anthology series written, directed, and produced by Jamie Foxx.
- Under “Long Form Development” (which I think make be just a different way of saying mini-series) are three book adaptations of Ringwold by Larry Niven and Childhood’s End by Arthur C. Clarke.
- Other scripts of note in development include No Place produced by Robert Zmeckis, Dominion based on the movie Legion (hopefully Tyra Collette reprises her role, except it should like it will take place twenty years later), and Infinity from Javier Grillo-Marxuach (who created the underappreciated The Middleman).

Preview Picture of the Week:

Dallas Season Finale Monday at 8:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: Get Back in the Band – The Presidents of United States of America (NoiseTrade)

Deal of the Week: Blu-Ray Under $10: Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, The Goonies

New Album Release of the Week: Mosquito - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs

New DVD Release of the Week: Django Unchained

Video of the Week: It just seemed like the second season of Burning Love just ended (probably because I just finished last weekend) but the third season sees the return of some of the favorites from past seasons like Annie and Blaze plus some contestants from some unseen to us seasons and one lucky super-fan. You can watch the first episode below and the first three episodes are already up on BurningLove.com.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Dallas, Monday at 8:00 on TNT: It seems like TNT was a bit premature airing the second season of Dallas during the winter and on an already crowded Monday at that. Apparently they cut their losses airing two episodes last week and this week just to wrap things up quicker. No word yet if they will completely cut their losses and end the series, now without J.R. or move it back to the more schedule friendly summer for the next season.

Around the Tubes: 4/12/13

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Oh My God, Veep, Out There, Sullivan and Son, Ghost Hunters, Planet Ocean, Quentin Tarantino’s Rolling Thunder Pictures Triple Features, The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia, Californication, Seventeen, and Patriotic Millionaires.

- Louis C.K. has a new HBO special premiering Oh My God tomorrow at 10:00 and will be followed by World Championship Boxing: Nonito Donaire vs. Guillermo Rigondeaux, here is a preview of the former:


- Also premiering this weekend on HBO is Veep witch opens its second season Sunday at 10:00 with midterm elections looming. Check out the latest trailer below:


- Nick Offerman will be lending his voice to tonight’s episode of Out There at 10:00 on IFC as Sharla’s uber-masculine dad. Check out a sneak peak below:



- TNT just announced the new season of Sullivan and Son will premiere June 13 at 10:00. Mark your calendars accordingly.

- For those that marked Wednesday, April 17 on the calendar for the premiere of Ghost Hunters, I hoped you marked it in pencil because it has been pushed back to June 12 at 9:00. New episodes of Haunted Collector will continue to air on Wednesdays at 9:00 through June 5.

- Out now on Blu-Ray and DVD: Planet Ocean narrated by Josh Duhamel and is a cinematic adventure that invites viewers of all ages to change the way they look at the ocean and appreciate its greatest natural mystery. While coming next week is Quentin Tarantino’s Rolling Thunder Pictures Triple Features, and one of the more awkwardly titled movies ever: The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia.



- It looks like Hank will be getting into television next season on Californication because Michael Imperioli has been cast as “Rick Rath, a successful old-school television producer who will play a key role in Hank’s latest venture.”

- AnnaSophia Robb covers the May issue of Seventeen where she talks about dealing with her own high school drama. For more on AnnaSophia, go to seventeen.com/AnnaSophia and pick up the May issue of Seventeen, on newsstands April 16th.

- Just in time for Tax Day: Patriotic Millionaires Demand Additional Revenue.

Previewing The Borgias

With the recent announcement of The Vatican starring Coach Taylor and Charlotte “Chuck” Charles, it may be easy to forget that Showtime already has series about the Catholic Church. But where The Vatican takes place in modern time, The Borgias goes back to the fifteenth century. But just like the modern time, The Borgias may be looking for a new pope soon as last season ended with Pope Alexander VI consuming a copious amount of poison, delivered to him ironically enough by his food taster.

I cannot comment on if the Pope survives the poisoning, but since this is based on historic events, I am sure spoiler fans can look up how Alexander dies on his Wikipedia page. I will say by the end of the episode, you will know his fate. And that was not the only big event that happened at the end of the last season. Cesare killed his brother Juan and that will certainly have repercussions in the upcoming season. While Lucrezia got engaged to a guy from Naples to secure an alliance with the kingdom of Naples. And Joffre remains M.I.A. I thought his marriage was supposed to tie the Pope to Naples? Even as his father lies dyeing, he barely gets mentioned and does not even show up at all. Please note I only complain because I liked looking at his wife played by Emmanuelle Chriqui. But anyway.

As the third season stars and the uncertainty of the Pope, Caterina Sforza grows stronger in his opposition to the Borgias and recruits a very deadly relative to help her. Another enemy Cardinal Della Rovere boldly shows up to the Vatican to see if his master plan succeeded or not. We also get to meet the new kings of Naples, who introduces us to the term “two bag woman,” and France who apparently is married to a two sack woman and would like to get out of the marriage. We also get to witness the weirdest consummation scene probably ever put to film (but there is precedent). And for anyone who thought the sexual tension between Cesare and Lucrezia was creepy in the first two seasons, get ready for it to get ramped up for the third. And of course being The Borgia, there will also be plenty of murder, deceit, sabotage, defrocking, and the occasional orgy this season.

The Borgias airs Sundays at 10:00 on Showtime and will be preceded by an all new season of Nurse Jackie at 9:00.

The Voice Season Four Blind Audition Power Rankings

One thing I really liked about The Voice is that it seemed like they were auditioning artists straight from my iPod. Season two had six contestants that I already had in my library before the show even aired. Last season was down to one, the eventual winner Cassadee Pope. Season four: none. Epic Fail The Voice. I only even recognized one singer, the chick from The Sing-Off who was relegated to the montage segment. But there were some decent contestants this season, so on to the Power Rankings.

1. Midas Whale (Team Adam) - If you cannot be down with a dude who shows up on a nationally televised singing competition with an accordion, we cannot be friends. But if they do an accordion version of D'yer Mak'e (like this season's guest mentor Sheryl Crow), I'm out on these guys.

2. Caroline Glaser (Team Blake) - I have not been this transfixed by a voice on the show since Xenia back in the first season. I cannot confirm nor deny that I spent most of Tuesday on her YouTube channel (but if I did I could give her bonus points for multiple City and Colour covers).

3. Sarah Simmons (Team Adam) – I hate One of Us, like an irrational hatred of the song, that is how much I liked her voice that I did not mind hearing coming from her. I look forward to her singing a song that does not suck massively,

4. Ryan Innes (Team Usher) – It is too easy to compare him to Nicholas David, who my favorite from last season, but I will hold off that comparison until I hear how good Ryan is at singing Huey Lewis. Which begs the question is Usher cool enough to be down with Huey Lewis?

5. Savannah Berry (Team Blake) – I scoffed when she said she was singing Safe and Sound, the harmonies from The Civil Wars make that song and no one person can do that justice. But goodness her version was just beautifully haunting.

6. Jess Kellner (Team Usher) – Such a transfixing voice, I am really interesting to hear what she does next.

7. Holly Tucker (Team Blake) – I am not sure I will like her enough if starts doing pure country songs like it sound like she wants to do (who knew there was a Garth Brooks version? I only knew Bob Dylan, Sdele and Billy) but I kind of hopes she sticks to more adult contemporary.

8. Cáthia (Team Shakira) – I could note understand one word, but I think I loved every minute of it.

9. Danielle Bradbery (Team Blake) – Very apropos that she did a Taylor Swift song because like Taylor, she may not have the best voice around, but just has this likeability quality you cannot deny. But I fear for her longevity because last season Blake said he made a strategic decision to only take one country artist to the Live Show and this is definitely his strongest country contingent to date and I already have her in third in that group.

10. Sasha Allen (Team Adam) – I have this fear that Adam is going to pit her against Judith Hill (who is a bit overrated) in the battle rounds. Though I am pretty sure I saw Judith against someone else in the previews, which means Adam may put her up against Sara Simmons instead or they wlll meet in the Knockout Rounds. Hopefully the coaches steal wisely this season.

11. Kris Thomas (Team Shakira) – I remember in the first season they actually hit the faces of some contestants until they turned around. It is a shame they stopped that because I wonder if I would have mistaken him for a chick if I did not see him.

12. Jessica Childress (Team Usher) – She may not have the best voice of the RnB chicks this season, but she is the most fun, and that counts for something in my book.

13. Judith Hill (Team Adam) – In a power rankings of backing singers (just based on their Blind Audition) I have Amanda Brown, Sasha Allen, Jermaine Paul, then Judith.

14. Grace Askew (Team Blake) – To be honest I am not sure what I made of her performance but I am thinking I liked it.

15. Audrey Karrasch (Team Usher) – I cannot hear this song without thinking of Xenia, and from his reaction, I have a feeling the same goes for Blake who sang along like he did three seasons ago. She gave a really fun performance even if she never pointed along with the song.

16. Jacqui Sandell (Team Blake) – For those keeping track at home, four seasons for Blake and four female Warped Tour veterans including one the won and a runner up.

17. Amber Carrington (Team Adam) – It is almost distracting how much she looks like Carrie Underwood with shot hair. And she may be lucky that Blake had a full team because he already had plenty of strong country artists. Then again, he may end up stealing her anyway.

18. Taylor Beckham (Team Usher) – I did not rally like her voice at first but it really grew on me the longer I listened.

19. Luke Edgemon (Team Shakira) – I am a little surprised he went with Shakira instead of Usher given his gospel root, it will be interesting what the Latin singer does with him.

20. Mary Miranda (Team Shakira) – In the battle of chicks I could not understand, I give a slight edge to Cathia, but would not be surprised if this spitfire can pull the upset in their battle.

21. Brandon Roush (Team Shakira) – I thought with the inclusion of Shakira, they would finally get someone who respects rock. Hopefully Brandon opens up the grunge songbook for his song selection going forward.

22. Patrick Dodd (Team Adam) – Over does it at times but still a strong performance.

23. The Swon Brothers (Team Blake) – They are no Shield’s Brothers but entertaining enough.

24. Garrett Gardner (Team Shakira) – I guess going up against fellow rocker Brandon would be the most obvious Battle Round pairing and my opinion of Shakira would skyrocket if she has them sing Would? by Alice in Chains. Though whoever got the Laine Stanley part would have an unfair advantage.

25. Amy Whitcomb (Team Adam) - Got to rep my girl from The Sing-Off even if she was montaged.

Even though it only takes one singer to win, it is always fun to see who has the strongest team. I went ahead and ranked all 48 contestants (I even listened to the iTunes previews of the montage contestants) with the worst getting one point and the best given 48 and here is how the teams stack out:

Team Adam - 276
Team Blake - 271
Team Shakira - 270
Team Usher – 249

It should not be surprising that the self proclaimed “Mr. Four Chairs” Adam (he won four of the eight this season) edges out his nemesis Blake. It is a bit surprising that Shakira was nipping on their heels. But looking at it as a whole, there are no real standouts (unless you love Latin music) but she does not really have any stickers either while the other teams have some fat to trim. And where last season, Christina Aguilera stocked her team with interchangeable bland pop singers, half of Usher’s team is interchangeable bland RnB dudes. He really needs to choose wisely in the Battle Rounds if he wants to keep up with the veterans.

He will also want to use his steals wisely, unlike every coach last season but Adam who was the only one who took his steals to the Live Playoffs last season. I wonder if anyone will give Blake the shaft twice again this year like Caitlin Michele did last season. And I wonder if they are adding steals this season. I assume everyone will get two steals in the Battle Rounds which will put each team at eight going into the Knockout Rounds. But means there will only be four going to the Live Rounds unless they add a Steal to the Knockout Rounds which I suggested they do last season’

As usual, there were a few artists that slipped through the cracks, and the three worth mentioning I think really shot themselves in the foot with poor song selections.

1. Jane Smith - I have long said singing Adele is the kiss of death on this show because no one is going to out-Adele Adele. Florence Welch is another artist you should proceed with caution with. With that said, Jane is probably the most egregious no chair contestant ever to audition on the show (either her or Ducky) and would have been in my top ten of my power ranking had she made it. I wonder if she auditioned late because from Blake’s comments (which seemed heavily edited) that maybe he would have turned his chair but maybe did not have any slots left. I really hope she auditions again next season. But she may want to avoid Florence + The Machine.

2. Abraham McDonald – A note to all the future contestants, it is a very bad omen to sing a song when the last line is “sucks to be you right now.” It is fated to end badly.

3. Betsy Barta – Like I said above, stay away from Adele, I actually liked her street performance better.

Speaking of returning contestants, what happened to the hot hairdresser with flowers in her hair from last season? Certainly she deserved a second chance more than that chick that got montaged this season. And where was the reggae chick that sang acapella after her Blind Audition that all the coaches were adamant about returning?


As for predictions, this is the hardest season to handicap who will win. And who know, they may go back to having each team represented in the finals and who knows what kind of tweaks they will do to the voting system this season. I could see Blake finally having a successful country artist who could win this season, but will it be Savannah, Holly, and Danielle could be a dark horse. Adam has his two power house back up singers. And I am sure some people have already written off Shakira, but I would not sleep on her Latin artists or Cathia could sneak in there (or she could be this year's Adriana Louise who is pushed through the first three rounds and met with a resounding yawn when the public starts voting). My sources tell me American Idol made a conscious avoid to boring white dudes after almost a decade of duds whose albums bombs; so that bored housewives voting block that pushes those artists may move to The Voice where they can push guys like Warren Stone, Christian Porter, or Josiah Hawley (though The Voice's voting limits seems to keep the bland but cute boys like Chris Mann and Dez Duron from winning). But if we were to go back to the team formats, here would be my predictions for the final four (with a back up pick in parentheses):

Adam - Judith Hill (Sara Simmons)
Blake - Savannah Berry (Christian Porter)
Shakira - Cathia (Brandon Roush)
Usher - Ryan Innes (Josiah Hawley)

Next up are the Battle Rounds and here is a sneak preview:


My eye spies battles between:
Christian Porter vs. The Swon Brothers (Blake)
Cathia vs. Mary Miranda (Shakira)
Judith Hill vs.Karina Iglesias (Adam)
Midas Whale vs. Patrick Dodd (Adam)
Jess Kellner vs. Taylor Beckham singing You Know I'm No Good by Amy Winehouse (Usher)
Jeff Lewis vs. Josiah Hawley (Usher)
Sasha Allen vs. Amber Carrington singing Try by Pink (Adam)
And I think that is Sara Simmons's shoulder next to Agina Alvarez (Adam)
But I am scratching my head trying to figure out who Michelle Chamuel is battling. The arm looks like a white person's, but Jeff and Josiah and Jess and Taylor are battling each other, Audrey Karrasch is wearing a different top, and it looks to skinny to be Ryan's. Maybe Chelsea M? And yes, I spent way too much time watching this video.

I Want My Music Television: 4/9/13

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


No Guns Allowed – Snoop Lion featuring Drake


Just when Snoop Dogg Lion making a reggae album was not weird enough, he made an anti-gun song for the victims of Sandy Hook. You know they guy who in his first single rapped about gunning down an undercover cop. While talking about Same Love by Macklemore and Lewis, I told a buddy of mind I would much rather listen to a good song with a bad message than a crappy song with a good message. With that said, I need to go cue up Deep Cover now.


Get the Girl Back - Hanson


A couple weeks ago I joked that Downtown - Lady Antebellum had to use the chick from 2 Broke Girls not named Kat Dennings because they could not get Kat Dennings. You know who could get Kat Dennings in their music video: Hanson. Although I am not entirely sure if she filmed new scenes or if the director just inserted clips of Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist.


Done. - The Band Perry


I mistook the first single from the latest album by The Band Perry as the token angry white chick done wrong song, but I am pretty sure this one is. Plus the video has a fight worthy of King of the Nerds.


Hero – Family of the Year


I am not entirely sure why, but this Family of the Year video took me back to the nineties, back when music videos were on MTV and seemed to mean something.

Previewing The 80's: The Decade That Made Us

Some may dismiss The 80’s: The Decade that Made Us as a cheap I Love the 80’s rip-off, but if you enjoyed the VH1 series, the National Geographic Channel version, airing Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, is a can’t miss series. Even if the subject matter is the same and utilize interviews from those that lived through it (David Hasselhoff! Robin Leach! Ronald Reagan’s doctor! Sorry, no Michael Ian Black), The Decade that Made Us take a more macro look at the decade. Instead of short, three minute segments about a singular topic, most subjects last about ten minutes and weaves its way as to why it is still important today, not just a simple trip to nostalgia.

And what launched the eighties? Hockey. More specifically the Miracle on Ice at Lake Placid and as silly as it may seem (I personally would have went with the election of Regan) the show makes a persuasive argument about how the gold medal changed the perception of ourselves after the gloomy seventies and even launched (allegedly) the “U.S.A.” chants that we still obnoxiously use everywhere we can to promote patriotism. Also in the first episode are segments on the rise of electronics and Jane Fonda’s fitness tapes (which were the highest selling VHS tapes of the decade), MTV and the start of the rap phenomenon Run-DMC, and what would the eighties be without a little greed, most exemplified by Dallas. Who knew J.R. Ewing brought down Romania, if you do not know what I am talking about, you must see how.

The second episode airing Sunday opens with the assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan (recently also focused on by an episode of The Americans) which is believed to be the launch of CNN. It is wild now to look back at the reports with anchors talking on the phone live on television with reporters on the scene with one newsman actually reading a report wrong about the condition of the president with his co-anchor correcting him right then and there. Ted Turner and CNN is not the only “hippy capitalist” featured as this episode also focuses on Ben and Jerry, Steve Job, Calvin Kline, and Tony Hawk. Fear not conservatives, the Gipper is not completely surrounded by liberals in the episode because Alex P. Keaton also gets his own segment.

The 80’s: The Decade That Made Us is required viewing for anyone who lived through threw those ten year (and anyone who was not an want to know just how un-cool their parents were). My only complaint is that it is just six hour over three days. They really should had made a full series out of this with each segment its own half hour episode. And come to think of it, why has VH1 not done part four of I Love the 80’s?

The six-part series will roll out over three nights in the United States, beginning Sunday, April 14, 2013, at 8:00 and continuing Monday, April 15, and Tuesday, April 16, at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel.