You Can Join the A Team or You Can Disappear

Pacing is a major issue with serial television these days. I am always a fan of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer route where you set up a big bad at the beginning of the season and defeat them at the end. Without a distinct goal you wander aimlessly around an island for unknown periods of time like Lost. Then there are series like The Killing that has a goal it is reach for, but as we found out in the first season finale, we have no idea when we will actually learn the killer of Rosie Larson.

Pretty Little Liars. fell into the latter category; we knew the goal for the titular characters was to figure out who the omnipresent A was. For the first three blocks of episodes, the show set a good mystery with plenty of suspects who could have been the mad texter, but the show started to lose steam as the mystery stretched out too long. Sure there was no throw the remote at the television moments like when the mystery was left unsolved on The Killing, but it was starting to get frustrated.

Then as Pretty Little Liars returned for its fourth block and we were finally promised that by the end of the season, A would be revealed which jumped started the show again as you had to pay attention to every little detail because like I said earlier, anyone could have plausibly have been A. One moment that struck me in what could have easily have been a throw away special Halloween episode, separate from the other episodes was a look at the end that former Allison tormentees (yes, I just willed that word into existence) Mona, Jenna, and Hermie the Hermaphrodite gave each other.

So that triad went straight to the top of my list of possible A suspects (after a not so dead Allison, which was more based on my hope that is was her because it would have made for the most interesting storyline). It turned out I was thirty-three percent right on my prediction when Mona revealed herself to Spencer after a dramatic costume change. Or am I more correct than I currently know? Not only did Mona threaten Spencer that should could join the A “Team” suggesting that Mona had some help. And just in case anyone though that Mona was just referencing the awesome eighties television show (if there is The A-Team on Pretty Little Liars, is Mona the Face of the team or Hannibal?), she also hints at multiple people during her weird inner monologue in her padded room and the telling a mysterious figure she did everything she asked her to at the very end. Of course the mysterious figure just happened to be wearing a jacket similar to Vivian Darkbloom’s coat.

So now the question is who is in that red jacket and just who Mona was working with? There was the black swan that looked exactly like Melissa who was talking to my previous suspected Mona cohort Hermie the Hermaphrodite. And of course the person with the biggest vendetta against Allison, the newly sighted Jenna, who gave her own mysterious figure a package prior to the masquerade ball. Oh yeah, and we will also have a murder mystery next season when Mya showed up dead at the end of the episode. Was it the crazy lesbian swimmer? Melissa, who had a front row seat at the crime scene? Another member of the A Team? Hopefully the show learns that two season is too long before the reveal something and we get at least one answer by the end of season three which will be starting up in two short months on Tuesday, June 5 at 8:00.

Pretty Little Liars 2.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

My Hands Are Clean

It is never a good sign when the behind the scenes drama of a show is more entertaining than what happens on screen, but the feud between The Walking Dead. creator Frank Darabount and AMC got more heated than most of the zombie battles on screen when the network decided it would rather spend more money on Mad Men, a show that got three times less the viewers of The Walking Dead. But with all the turmoil, the second season of the show got off to a great start with the zombie parking lot, a better sequence than anything in the slow moving first season. And it was all downhill from there.

In the mist of the zombie parking lot, little Sophia just had to run off into the woods, not to be seen again for two month. If it were not bad enough that we had to sit and watch characters we do not care about spend all that time searching for a kid we did not care about, all the searching was for not because she was hanging out with the other zombies in the zombie barn that became the group’s camp. Of course none of the people that fed the zombies in the zombie barn bothered to think to themselves, “hey, they are looking for a little girl, maybe the little zombie girl in our zombie barn is her.” Nope, we had to wait until Shane went off his rocker, the second of four times this season, and opened the zombie barn to find her.

To think how much worse that could have been if I actually cared about Sophia, but like the rest of the cast, I just did not care. Anyone in the cast could have been eaten by a zombie and I would be fine with it. I would have been content had Hershel went on a murdering spree post-zombie barn incident or if the dude from Terriers had gotten the best of Rick in the bar. The writers even managed to ruin the two more entertain from the first season as both Daryl and Glen got too whiny as the season progressed.

The season finale started much like the season premiere, with a horde of zombies, presumable the same ones (who, they moved slower than the plots on the show if they are just now getting to the farm). And we finally got the massive zombie fight I have been waiting for since the start of the show and the show finally delivered on something and thinned the cast some more (goodbye Hershel’s family whose named I never bothered to learn, but to the son, why did you not drive off as soon as Rick and Carl were on the roof, and how about locking the door in a zombie apocalypse?), but unfortunately Lori was not one of them. And Andrea inexplicably was able to escape hundreds of zombies to be saved by some Assassin's Creed looking person with arms zombie minions. Wait, what?

But as soon as everyone was safe and sound at the Sophie camp, the show started slowing down with the characters back to being whiny except for Rick who looks to be morphing into Shane. Great. And much like the end of season, the characters are stuck in the middle of nowhere with no plans (aside from the giant prison a mile away, seriously, they could not end the season at its doorsteps?). Even with the awesome zombie battle, The Walking Dead remains the single worst television show I have watched this season (and I made it through every episode of Pan Am.). Or at least until The Killing returns in two week. AMC: telling the slowest stories on television.

The Waling Dead 2.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/18/12

Once Upon a Time: Did they really rip off that unwatchable Amanda Seyfried movie for Little Red Riding Hood’s back-story? That really isn’t rhetorical because I have pretty much blocked the entire movie out of my mind except the sight of Amanda in the Red costume. But I vaguely remembering that they wanted you to think that it was her boyfriend, but it turned out being her family that is cursed.

I was a bit surprised that the wolf did not turn out to be the Doctor. When he showed up early in the episode I figured it would turn out to be him. But I am really getting sick of this Katherine search plot. Just show us that the Evil Queen has her locked up in the dungeon with Belle soon and get it over with.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: It looks like Lip’s nursery is going to be bigger in a couple months. But I wonder if he will get Ian to pretend to be the father for him?

The Walking Dead: You know all those annoying videos that seem to pop up every month or so that shows every time in movies where things happen over again and again like how no one has cell service or characters that tell you what doesn’t kill you make you stronger? I wonder how long until the “Smashing Your Own Face to Set Someone Up” will get made. Just this season we have seen Shane do it and the Rent Boy on Revenge (and I just finished up the first season of Boardwalk Empire which also saw someone do it back in the prohibition days). I guess it is to show us that the character is unhinged; because they could Shane could have easily said he escaped and saved the broken nose. But I did like the zombie Woodstock shot that ended the episode.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have had a long standing belief that A is Alison back from the dead, the problem is that there has not been a hint of the supernatural elsewhere on the show until the creepy doll kid. Except he turned out to be a plant by A. Oh well, one week and we will no for sure. And could we finally be done with the Aria / Ezra creepfest? The storyline has been so painfully to watch, it has felt like a lifetime sitting thought it. But I have a feeling this is a fake out because the writers have always treated them as some grand love story, and not the statutory rape that it is, so I would not be at all surprised if he gets a job in the town over. Over even worse Ella somehow gets Ezra his job back.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: Did I really see Christina Aguilera and Lionel Richie give advice to some on how to sing a Nirvana song? But anyway, it was not a very good week for people high on my Post-Blind Audition Power Ranking. Gone are Jamie Lono (#4), Whitney Myers (#5), Lex Land (#8), and Geoff McBride (#10). Thankfully Lindsey Pavao (#3) staved off elimination but did so by bumping off Lee Koch (#20). After watching all my favorite gone down, it was when the four chair turning Whitney got shown the door I came up with an idea that going into the live show, each coach should be able to poach someone another coach sent home in the Battle Rounds. Or even better, have the viewing public vote on their six favorite eliminated contestants and introduce a fifth judge and see if they can defeat the original four.

It also became obvious that the coaches are giving songs that give one singer a clear advantage. Ever song selection this week clearly gave an advantage to the person who eventually won. Granted this may just be an anomaly because last week the pairings seemed more down the line with the exception of Ironic. Also my theory that your adviser can also give you an advantage went out the window when Geoff still lost despite getting to spend time with Lionel Richie (granted he should have won).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

The River: I am surprised the Spanish chick who knows everything did not take heed from the dog because certainly the dog knows something the humans do not. I do not know if it was the zombies on the ship or it is something else coming later, but I would have totally followed the dog.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: Limehouse said last episode he likes to back the winner so I wonder how long until he swings over Boyd because his candidate looked much better in the debate than the one with the planted moderator (if I were Quarles, I’d want my money back). The bomb scene was just another classic Justified moment in a long line of great Justified moments.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Wow, both tribes almost split right down the middle with alliances staying together on both tribes. And now Colton is stuck with all the misfits and unfortunately quickly voted out the only one that seems to have the mental capacity to vote him out so it looks like we are stuck with him until at least the merge. This then begs the question with the buff guys on the other tribe rejoining the boys at the merge or stick with the girls? All I know is Survivor really needs to recruit more players with Tarzan’s name recognize affection (something I also have but never knew there was a name for).
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: So Dallas went to an all back college with Robin Givins? Excuse me while I let that sink in for a while.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Modern Family: Is it wrong that I laughed histarically at the clown funeral?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: I know there is not many brain cells among them already, but breathing in all that jet exhaust cannot be healthy. But it least it was entertaining especially when the picnics items flew high up in the air or Camilla falling down. And it is pretty amazing to learn this was the very first time Mark was in an elimination round.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

Community: Oh, Annie’s Boobs, how have I missed you.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Awake: I know I do not watch many cop shows, but from the very few that I have seen in my lifetime, I have upon the realization that ever former partner is dirty.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 3/17/12

Quote of the Week: Now I am off to lead a pack of tiny testosterone animals to victory. Got to warm them up and give them my best Friday Night Lights speech about hearts or eyes or some (expletive deleted). (Steve, Shameless)

Song of the Week: King of Rock – Run-DMC (Happy Endings)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: It’s March Madness Baby!: The first round is less about how many games you won but how many teams you have going deep in your bracket still around. And when one half of your Final Four is out on the first day really is not a good sign. Thanks Missouri and Duke. But like it is the last couple years, the big story is Barack Obama’s bracket which surprisingly is not completely chalk this year and even has an eleventh seed in the Sweet Sixteen. Sure his other three regions are pretty much chalk and has the overall top two teams in the finals.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Pretty Little Liars Season Finale

Most Worthless The Walking Dead Character of the Week: T-Dogg (so when they are rounding up a posse to hunt down an armed dude, they choose the ten pound Asian Glen who got trigger shy a couple episodes back over T-Dogg; which begs the question, who else is above T-Dogg in the hunting queue? Maggie? Hershel? Carl?)

Free Download of the Week: Beautiful Day - U2 (Google Play)

New Album Release of the Week: Tuskegee - Lionel Richie

New DVD Release of the Week: The Muppets

Video of the Week: I gave up on spoilers almost a decade ago after finally realizing they were ruining my television experience, but the one concession I make is that I still watch the promos that follow the shows which are like my nicotine patch that keeps me from spoiler site. Granted I should just turn off my television when the credits run because the promos routinely spoil the show anyway or are just misleading. With all the crap I do give to the promo monkeys, the promo for next week’s Justified is the single greatest promo ever in the history of television. “Why wait?” More like “Can’t wait!”



Next Week Pick of the Week: Pretty Little Liars, Monday at 8:00 on ABC Family: Monday is the big day when we will finally learn who A is on the season finale of Pretty Little Liars. Check out my odd of who is behind the texts here: Oddsmakers: Who Is A?

Around the Tubes - 3/16/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Make it or Break It, Game of Thrones, Finding the Lost da Vinci, Archer, My Strange Addiction, Peter O'Toole, Pretty Little Liars, Titanic’s Final Mystery, and 17 season premiere dates.

- The new season of Make it or Break It returns a week from Monday at 9:00 on ABC Family and for those that need a refresher, check out the video below:



- Game of Thrones released another fan poster (Spoiler Alert!) and you can gaze upon it below. Also the show will have a booth (#438) at the upcoming WonderCon in Anaheim this weekend (March 16-18) where you can get your head on a spike like below for free. Well, a FX artist will create a photo of it for those that do not want to be beheaded.



- The Battle of Anghiari vanished 500 years ago and not scientist and art enthusiast Maurizio Seracini has spent 36 years trying to track down the missing mural as documented in Finding the Lost da Vinci, premiering this Sunday on the National Geographic Channel at 9:00. Check out a preview below:

The Real Life Da Vinci Code


- Next Thursday, Byran Cranston will be lending his vocal talents to Archer as an astronaut with the International Space Agency. Take a look at his animated self below:



- Nothing like the subject “Addicted to Drinking Urine” to catch your attention. Yep, that is the affliction for the season finale of My Strange Addition airing Sunday at 10:00 on TLC.



- On Wednesday, April 11, TMC will premiere Peter O’Toole: Live from the TCM Classic Film Festival at 8:00 where TCM host Robert Osborne will interview the legendary actor in front of a live audience. The special will be followed by The Lion in Winter, Lawrence of Arabia, and The Day They Robbed the Bank of England.

- Pretty Little Liars in the New Jersey era, tonight at 7:00 Shay Mitchell will be signing copies of her Seventeen Prom issue at the Barnes and Noble at 765 Route 17 South in Paramus, NJ.

- The Smithsonian Channel will be celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Titanic disaster with the two hour special Titanic’s Final Mystery premiering Thursday, April 5 at 8:00.

- A couple different networks announced the premiere dates for their show recently and here they are in chronological order:

Sunday, April 1 at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel: New series Wicked Tuna following fishermen trying to catch bluefin tuna

Friday, April 6 at 10:00 on Nat Geo Wild: Python Hunters season 3

Tuesday, April 17 at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel: New series Amish: Out of Order that follows former Amish members in the “real world”

Wednesday, May 30 at 8:00 on ABC Family: Melissa and Joey second season with back to back episodes

Tuesday, June 5 at 9:00 on TNT: Rizzoli and Isles season 3

Tuesday, June 5 at 10:00 on TNT: Franklin and Bash season 2

Wednesday, June 13 at 9:00 on TNT: New show Dallas, a reboot of the 80’s classic with original cast members Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy and Linda Grey

Sunday, June 17 at 9:00 on TNT: Falling Skies, two hour second season premiere

Sunday, June 24 at 10:00 on TNT: New reality show The Great Escape from Ron Howard, Brian Grazer and the creators of The Amazing Race

Sunday, July 1 at 10:00 on Showtime: Weeds season 8

Sunday July 1 at 10:00 on Showtime: Episodes season 2

Monday, July 9 at 9:00 on TNT: The final season of The Closer

Monday, July 9 at 10:00 on TNT: New series Perception starring Eric McCormack as an eccentric neuroscience professor who is recruited by the FBI

Sunday July 15 at 8:00 on TNT: Leverage season 5

Monday, August 13 at 10:00 on TNT: The Closer spin-off Major Crimes starring Mary McDonnell reprising her role as Police Captain Sharon Raydor with other The Closer vets G.W. Bailey, Tony Denison, Michael Paul Chan, Raymond Cruz and Phillip P. Keene also in the cast with guest appearances by Jon Tenney and Robert Gossett.

Sunday, September 30 at 9:00 on Showtime: Dexter season 7

Sunday, September 30 at 10:00: Homeland season 2

Lyrics Quiz: Shamrocks and Shenanigans

St. Patrick is in two days away, and what better way to celebrate that with a little House of Pain (maybe Dropkick Murphys). So I thought I would put their Shamrocks and Shenanigans (natch) through iTunes’ Genius function and here are the twenty-five songs it gave back. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. Hey yo kids, remember when I used to be dope? I owned a pocket full of fame. But look at what you’re doing now. (Fallin' - De La Soul and Teenage Fanclub; guessed by Doug)
2. I can only guess what’s happening. Years ago he would have been the ship’s captain. Getting me bruised on a cruise, what else I gotta lose?
3. I got a squad with a list of complainers. I should’ve started R.A.P.E.: Rappers Against Phony Entertainers.
4. Sleep on silk like a politician, my Uzi is my best friend, cold asd a mortician. Lock me up, it’s genocidal catastrophe, there’ll be another on after me. (New Jack Hustler (Nino's Theme) - Ice-T; guessed by Doug)
5. You’re about to witness the strength of street knowledge. (Straight Outta Compton - N.W.A.; guessed by Doug)
6. I gotta get my props; cops come and try snatch my crops. These pigs trying to blow my house down. (Insane In the Brain - Cypress Hill; guessed by Doug)
7. Now I rock a house party at the drop of a hat, and I’ll beat a biter down with an aluminum bat.
8. Recruiting suckers, Mac and Mike, and making men of ‘em. Tears and Fears were my peers, they ripping. You think that it is, it is, if not it isn’t. (Down With the King - Run-DMC; guessed by Doug)
9. I was on 1-2-5 and St. Nick, waiting on a cab, standing in the rain. Under my heart: big clouds of pain. (Sometimes I Rhyme Slow - Nice and Smooth; guessed by Doug)
10. Don’t punch girls and we don’t punch a clock. Gotta go, gotta go, see you later by the cat and you can’t beat that with a bat. (The Choice Is Yours - Black Sheep; guessed by Doug)
11. You gotta gave heart, son, if you wanna go. Watch this sweet chariot swing low. Ain’t nobody crying, ain’t nobody dying, ain’t nobody worried, everybody’s trying.
12. Fools get foolish neither them or Parker Lewis knew us. You could have crews wit shoes and can’t step to us. (Hip Hop Hooray - Naughty by Nature; guessed by Doug)
13. They say you look like MC Hammer on crack. (The Humpty Dance - Digital Packets; guessed by Doug)
14. Calvin Klein’s no friend of mine so I don’t like Marky or the monarchy. (On Point - House of Pain; guessed by Doug)
15. Just then a figure had caught my eye, a man with a sombrero who was four feet high. I pulled over to ask where we was at. His index finger, he tipped up his hat…
16. No I’m not a sucka sitting in the house of pain. And no I’m not the butler, I’ll cut ya. You say you can’t touch this and I wouldn’t touch ya. (Check Yo Self - Ice Cube; guessed by Doug)
17. I’m causing more family feuds than Richard Dawson. And the survey said: you’re dead. (Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuthing ta F' Wit - Wu-Tang Clan; guessed by Doug)
18. Gap teeth in your mouth so my (expletive deleted)’s gotta fit. (Dre Day - Dr. Dre; guessed by Doug)
19. Then she lost her mind and did the ultimate: I asked for Adidas and she bought me Zips! (Parents Just Don't Understand - DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince; guessed by Doug)
20. I’ll chill like Pacino, kill like DeNiro, Black Gambino, die like a hero, living on shaky ground too close to the edge. (Juice (Know the Ledge) - Eric B. and Rakim; guessed by Doug)
21. You start to shiver, then you scream, my friend. You wake up Muttley, because you’re dreaming again.
22. Slide ‘em across from New York down by your Virginia. Tickling you around Delaware before I enter. (Rump Shaker - Wreckx-n-Effect; guessed by Doug)
23. Stop, drop, shut ‘em down, open up shop. (Ruff Ryders Anthem - DMX; guessed by Doug)
24. Take it off the rack, if it’s wack put it back. I like the Whopper, (expletive deleted) the Big Mac.
25. I don’t have no trouble with you (expletive deleted) me but I have a little problem with you not (expletive deleted) me.

Oddsmakers: Who Is A

After two long, and at time excruciating, seasons, we will finally learn who A is on Pretty Little Liars (assuming the promo monkeys are not playing with us). Sure the show has some issues, but one thing the show has gotten right is setting up the mystery of who A is. (S)He could be anyone who has walked the streets of Rosewood and it would not shock me. Seriously, they can dig up a long dead character and I could totally buy it, nor be that surprised. The intelligently impaired Hanna can beat Emily over the head with a folding chair, rip open her shirt to reveal another that reads “I’m A Snitches” well yelling I am not as dumb as you all thought and I’d go, sure, why not. Since we are just five days away from learning who the infamous texter is I thought I would dust off the old Oddsmakers game so you can place your bets on who A is (or are if my one my main theories of multiple A’s is correct).

Aria (503:1) - Her first name starts with A, how has no one pointed this out yet? And why is she the one that does the shhh-ing sign in the title sequence?

The Liars’ Fathers (150:1) - One of the few people that would shock me if one of them turned out to be A would be the Liars’ mothers. They have even talked with each other about their children being bullied. The father’s on the other hand are highly suspicious and shady with the exception of Mr. Fields who has been off in the military for most of the show. Mr. Montgomery and Mr. Hastings on the other hand seem to like to manipulate their daughters. Of course some of A’s demands have hurt the fathers like ruining a wedding and blackmailing an adulterer.

The Liars’ Boyfriends and / or Mya (68:1) - With the exception of Toby, the other three, Ezra, Caleb and My just happened to show up in Rosewood right around the time the Liars started receiving texts from A. Coincidence? Plus Caleb has the technical knowhow to spy on the girls. And who better than Erza to pull off something so devious? The big question though is motive.

The Field (50:1): Everyone not mention elsewhere in this post. So lay your money here if you think A will be Detective Wilden, Hanna’s half sister, the English doctor, the crazy lesbian with bad hair, or even Dr. Sullivan who somehow kidnapped herself.

Melissa Hastings (25:1) - She looks so guilty even her father hired a private investigator to spy on her.

Jason DiLaurentis, Garrett Reynolds, and / or Ian Thomas (13:1) - A plausible group of A’s who even listed one of their high school activities as part of the “We See All” club. Sure, A (presumably) killing Ian may hurt my theory that the band got back together, but that is not to say that Jason and Garrett got back together to torment the Liars and killed Ian to keep their secret under wraps.

Jenna Marshall, Mona Vanderwaal, and/or Lucas Gottesman (5:1) - A seems to be everywhere which makes multiple people acting as A a very plausible possibility and all three could have started up an I Hate Alison fan club that went too far. Plus it has long been assumed that the final scene of every episode is A scheming and Lucas admitted to destroying Alison’s memorial, something we saw A do in a final scene episodes earlier. They all seemed to have a moment at the Halloween flashback special. I also find it suspicious that this season all three have been targeted by A, giving them all an alibi.

Alison DiLaurentis (3:1) - My very first suspect while watching the Pilot was Alison. Of course by the end of the episode, they found her body and laid her to rest putting a crimp into that theory unless the show went supernatural. But who else but Alison would know all of the Liars’ deep dark secrets? Then recently Alison was found to be using an alias. But what is Vivian Darkbloom was not just Alison in a wig but a totally different person or a long lost twin, the DiLaurentis family has been known to hide the true identity of a child, and the real Vivian is the one under Alison’s headstone?

I Want My Music Television - 3/13/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Everybody Talks - Neon Trees



A month ago Neon Trees released an animated version for this video, but I definitely the Zombie Bikers from Hell version much better. But this begs the question, why are there not any drive-in movie theaters with roller skating waitresses?


Is Anybody Out There? - K'naan



Another week, another new K'Naan music, this time with 100% more Nelly Furtado. And I am all for anti-bulling sentiment, but how about not defacing property with profanities?


Drive By - Train



As a dude, I have naturally never seen an episode of The Bachelor, but I guestimate that the latest Train video is basically every episode of the reality show but with twenty extra chicks hanging around.


Co-Sign - SWV



Who knew that Survivor: Tocantins could actually sing?

It's March Madness Baby! 2012 Edition

It is time of year again, that time where you suddenly get that mid-march flu that keeps you bed ridden for four days with nothing but a remote control and a six pack of Shamrock Shakes. Yep, it’s March Madness. Last year was the first time that every game aired on television, so it will still take some time to get used to navigating between games. Of course the best part of the week leading up to the actual games is filling out your bracket (or in many cases, brackets), and here is a guide to what mine looks like (or at least the first one I filled out):

South
Finals: Duke over Indiana
Upset Special: Xavier over Notre Dame

West
Finals: Missouri over Michigan St.
Upset Special: Long Beach State over New Mexico

East
Finals: Ohio State over Wisconsin
Upset Special(s): Harvard over Vanderbilt, Texas over Cincinnati, Kansas St. over Syracuse

Midwest
Finals: Georgetown over North Carolina
Upset Special: Ohio over Michigan

Final Four
Ohio State over Georgetown
Missouri over Duke

Finals
Missouri over Ohio State 69-60

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/11/12

Once Upon a Time: Congratulations Amy Acker, you are the first actor to appear on both OUaT and Grimm. And as two very different characters, some spiderwoman and a non-descript fairy Godmother. Interesting that all the fairies turned into nuns. And who knew dwarfs are hatched out fully formed? Even more surprising that Grumpy turned out to be one of the more interesting characters on the show.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Finally they are starting to kill off the main characters. Hopefully Lori, Carol, T-Dogg, and Shane are taking in quick secession before the end of the season. I am actually hoping the Randall does go on a killing spree and kills of the entire cast and season three will be him and Maggie reminiscent of their high school days. Which begs the question, why has no one talked to Maggie yet to see if the guy can be trusted?
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

House of Lies: I really did not need to see Veronica Mars riding some old dude.

Pretty Little Liars: I was always suspicious of Mona being targeted by A and I would not at all be surprised if Mona was A and sent her the message to throw the scent off of her. But it is a little more farfetched that Jenna would do the same thing by placing herself in a burning building. At least we only have two weeks until we learn for sure who A is.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: A couple slight changes to the Battle Rounds this season, one for the better the other for the worse. I did like last season when the mentors watched the battles last season and gave their feedback right there. Sure they looked like schoolchildren sitting next to the coaches in their chairs. And it seems really unfair that the contestants saw different mentors. You are a major disadvantage when you visit Jewel and your opponent gets to hang out with Lionel Richie. On the flipside, I do like how they gave the family and friends front row seats instead of sticking them in the backstage where they interrupt the performances with their thoughts. It is also interesting that this season, only the winners get to sing on the studio versions of the songs that are sold on iTunes.

I am really disappointed that we did not see Tony Lucca and Alanis Morrisette did not trade war stories of their teen sketch days on The Micky Mouse Club and They Can’t Do That on Television. I usually find it distracting whenever singers change the gender of the lyrics (see Jordis Unga) but it was really distracting when in a duet, the two singers sing different lyrics at the same time because of their gender like when Chris Mann and Monique Benabou sang. Was it too obvious to just have them trade of lines? And if Ironic (or Adam Lavine for that matter) is what Blake Shelton comes to his mind when he thinks of when it comes to “rock” someone needs to give him a Pantera album.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from this episode on iTunes in the widget at right.

Switched at Birth: I am surprised it took this long for someone to complain how Daphne kept on switching teams. She should not have been let to switch teams in the middle of the season, let along go back to his original team in the middle of the season. And the fact it was allowed simply because the other coach was fine with it was kind of laughable.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

The River: I wish they would have just gone all the way with the Emmitt-centric episode and cut out all the reaction shots from the rest of the crew would have been more powerful.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: A rare almost self contained episode of Justified. Year we saw a couple characters outside the law house (including the first and second meetings of Quarles and Limehouse which were a bit disappointing), and Raylan even made it outside but most was Raylan being investigated twice over leading to some very entreating wordy scenes including my favorite with the detective getting excited of Raylan’s story of how he dropped a bullet on Wynn and told him the next one would come faster. And how brilliant was it that Quarles used said bullet to frame him.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: I am just dumbfounded at what happened this week. When the boys were talking about giving up immunity I figured it was just manufactured drama by the editors to make it more serious than it really was. Then they actually show up at Tribal Council. This is the second time they had to angered the Survivor Gods after cowardly taking immunity during the first challenge. It looks like I am going to have to update my list of the Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list. But I must say Bill is a bigger man than I am because I am punching Colton on the way out.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Did The Challenge really break out the “tow days ago” place card? Of course the big set up was to reveal Emily in blackface. Usually I cannot get behind other white people’s faux outrage over blackface, but yeah, using chocolate was your makeup is pretty offensive.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

Awake: I thought they set up the series as two parallel timelines that split after the accident, so it is a little weird that the dead guy was a doctor in one and a homeless guy in another. So apparently they two worlds are more different than I originally thought. And with all the multiple realities, I am not sure if I am ready for a conspiracy theory brought in by the chick from ER this soon considering I spend about a minute at the start of every scene trying to figure out if which world it is (I have started a good memory tool where the muted blue colors means it’s the Boy World).
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Awake on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 3/10/12

Quote of the Week: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. (Lionel Richie, The Voice)

Song of the Week: Time After Time – Cindi Lauper (as sung by Jody, Shameless)

Scene of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Mediocre Tuesday: I do not know what it says about the candidates that are still in the race, but when I went to the polls this past Tuesday, I ended up voting for Jon Huntsman since his name was still on the ballot. Not that my vote would have meant much either way because there was no knockout punch during the shrinking Super Tuesday. Well Newt Gingrich was all but eliminated and now Rick Santorm now needs about two-thirds of the remaining votes if he was to get the Republican nomination. Of course if they continue to remain the thorn in Mitt Romney’s side that may mean the brokered convention that Hilary Clinton robbed me of four years ago.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Wild Justice, Sunday at 9:00 on Nat Geo Wild

Worthless Walking Dead Character of the Week: T-Dogg (Seriously, had I have done this segment since the inception of the show T-Dogg would by far have won this award every everyone else, aside from being beat up by a redneck and cut his arm open, dude’s done nothing)

Free Download of the Week: Can't Go Home – Good Old War (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: $3.99 Albums on Amazon: Every month Amazon releases a hundred albums you can download for $5.00, but if you look closely they actually have better deals than that periodically on their site unadvertised. I do not know how long it will last, but as I write this there is a bunch of albums for only $3.99 including The Black Keys, N.W.A., U2, and the forty song Deluxe Edition of Nirvana’s Nevermind which comes out to ten cents per song by my math.



New Album Release of the Week: Delta Spirit - Delta Spirit

New DVD Release of the Week: American Pie 2 (Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)

Video of the Week: I am not sure if we should read anything into Community returning on the Ides of March, but the show will be returning to its 8:00 timeslot this Thursdays. No word yet on if Annie’s Boobs shows up. To honor of the occasion the cast is getting animated and not stop motion animated like last Christmas but more traditionally this time around. Check out all three parts below.







Next Week Pick of the Week: March Madness, All Day, Thursday through Sunday on CBS, TNT, TBS, and TruTV: Brackets are being released tomorrow, so do not expect any work to get down this week on Monday or after noon on Thursday and Friday. Look out for my picks on Monday.

Around the Tubes - 3/9/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Community, Monster Man, Real Fear: The Truth Behind the Movies, America the Wild with Casey Anderson, Wild Justice, ABC Family, Single Black Female, Veep, The Real Skinny, The Voice, America's Got Talent, and Azealia Banks.


- Community returns this Thursday and NBC recently released an epic trailer for the show that features the return of (SPOILER ALERT!!!) Evil Abed. As a wise man once said: can’t wait. Unfortunately no Annie’s Boobs sightings yet.



- You may not recognize the name Cleve Hall, but you undoubtedly have seen his creations as he is behind many of Hollywood’s most terrifying creations. And now he is the subject of Monster Man premiering next Wednesday on Syfy just before he makes a guest appearance on the competition show Face Off. Check out a clip below:

Evolution


- On Sunday, March 11 @ 8pm, Chiller’s all-new special, Real Fear: The Truth Behind the Movies, will uncover the terrifying real-life stories that inspired some of the most popular horror films of all time! Paranormal investigator Katrina Weidman (Paranormal State), along with three of her colleagues, reveal the secrets behind four iconic movies: Poltergeist, The Amityville Horror, Silent Hill and The Mothman Prophecies.

- Two premieres this Sunday on Nat Geo Wild. First at 8:00 is new series America the Wild with Casey Anderson where the naturalist travels across North America to hand out with elusive and endangered species. Then at 9:00 is the second season of Wild Justice which follows California’s Game Wardens as they protect wildlife from poachers and other threats. Check out a preview of the former below:

Wolverine to the Rescue


- Want to watch full episodes of your favorite ABC Family shows on your iPod, iPhone, or iPad? Well now there is an app for that. Head over to iTunes to download the ABC Family app for free.

- Gabrielle Union fans will be glad to hear that the actress may be heading back to the small screen after being tapped for the lead in Single Black Female, a BET hour long Pilot from the duo who created The Game. Do not bother asking if she will be playing Bridget Fonda or Jennifer Jason Leigh because she will be playing the host of a 24-hour cable news show who is not on the lookout for a new roommate.

- You still have to wait about a month until the latest HBO show Veep starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Until then, here is the first teaser poster:



- On Monday at 10, TLC is going inside the world of dramatic weight loss after people have lost the weight and the excess skin that goes along with the slimmer figures. The Real Skinny will document a man and woman who have elected to undergo skin removal surgery.

- For those tuning into the Battle Rounds of The Voice this week and found yourself wondering how much longer until the Live Show, NBC recently announced that the show will go live starting Monday April 2. They will also be adding a live results show on Tuesday April 3 at 9:00 following a newly shortened Biggest Loser. Then the winner will be announced on a special two hour live show starting at 8:00 on May 8. The following week, Howard Stern will be joining the judging panel of America’s Got Talent with two two hour hour shows on Monday and Tuesday May 14 and 15both starting at 8:00.

- The New York Times recently profiled rapper Azealia Banks.

All Our Youth and Beauty, it’s Been Given to the Dust

Let’s get this out of the way first, the last Bruce Springsteen album was painfully bad, I would sooner listen to Born This Way all the way through than listen to Working on a Dream with all its hopey change songs. Optimism does not suit Bruce very well and is at his best when channeling the angry and downtrodden. But if Waiting on a Dream was his hope in a transformative Barack Obama presidency, released just as he was being inaugurating, calling the follow up Wrecking Ball could show just what Bruce thinks of the current administration just as it is about to start its campaign to be reelected. And if the title track does paint a big enough picture, song titles like Shackled and Drawn, The Depression, and Death to my Hometown (which gives allusions to his Born in the U.S.A. track) should.

With the painfully bad last album, things did not sound much better with the release of the first single We Take Care of Our Own which sounded as lackluster as much of the last album even though it sounded slightly angrier. Thankfully the rest of the album gets better after the song kicks off Wrecking Ball. Where We Take Care of Our Own was a huge swing and miss with Bruce going for one of his anthemic songs along the line of Born to Run, Born in the U.S.A. or The Rising, the rest of the album sounds like Ghost of Tom Joad if it were backed by his Pete Segar Sessions players. Songs like Death to My Hometown and Rocky Ground would not have sounded out of place on the Segar Sessions. Well Rocky Round does also include an inexplicable rap at the end of it which thankfully was not provided by Bruce himself.

Aside from some of his previous work, some of the songs on the new album are reminiscent of the recent The Nightwatchman album by Tom Morello like Shackled and Drawn. So it should be not much of a surprise that Morello actually shows up and contributes a guitar solo on two songs that you do not even need to look at the liner notes to tell that it is Morello on the guitars. But the album is not all doom and gloom for the 99%, near the end of Springsteen breaks out Land of Hope and Dreams, a song that date as far back as The Rising era which draws from the classic The Impressions tune People Get Ready. The song also features one of the last sax solos ever recorded by Clarence Clemons which is a fitting end to his career with the E Street Band.

Song to Download – Land of Hope and Dreams

Wrecking Ball gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.