I Want My Music Television - 4/27/11

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Make Some Noise - Beastie Boys



With sequels to decades old movies like Tron and Wall Street becoming in vogue, it was only time for someone to make a sequel to a music video from the eighties. But like every sequel, I am not sure if the Beastie Boys needed to make a thirty minute short film about the events of what happened after Fight for Your Right. But it does feature every funny white dude working today (sorry Zach Galifianakis, unless that is really you selling got dogs). So it has that going for it. Here’s hoping the Beastie Boys make a feature film Sabotage reboot next because who would not want to see more of Cochese and the boys?


The Lazy Song - Bruno Mars



I should hate Bruno Mars but let’s face it, much like the boy bands of the nineties, he is really too bland to dislike. Yet there are signs of an artist in there: he produced The Song Otherwise Known as Forget You and his Grammy performance of Grenade was much better than the radio version. Plus it is hard not to get behind a video featuring dancing monkeys.


Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair - Arctic Monkeys



After coming as close to perfecting snotty punk rock as a twenty-first century band can, it looks like the Arctic Monkeys are going to start morphing into a psychedelic sound with this trippy video.


Barton Hollow - The Civil Wars



Every week I highlight something that you can legally download for my Best of the Week posts, and this past week I pointed you to The Civil Wars. Unfortunately 20 Years is no longer available to download for free, but The Civil Wars is definitely a band worth checking out. If there is any justice in the world, they will be this year’s Mumford & Sons, a folksy group that inexplicably stays near the top of the albums chart all year with little mainstream buzz. Fun fact: one of the members (the one that does not look like the Jack White / Jonny Depp lovechild) wrote a song for David Archuleta.

Show Me That Smile Again

Watching Growing Pains: The Complete Second Season on DVD, out today, it is hard not wonder where did all family sitcoms go? I grew up with a heavy dose of The Seavers, The Huxtables, The Arnolds, The Winslows, The Tanners and way too many more to list. Of course sadly the answer is they all seem to have migrated to the Disney Channel after the Bundys came around and flipped the family sitcom on its head. With Friday considered the Death Slot in television, I do not understand why networks try to resurrect the success of ABC’s TGIF aimed at the families that stay home on the weekends. Luckily studios have been slowly releasing the classic sitcoms from my childhood on DVD.

For those born in the nineties and are only know of Growing Pains from the I Love the 80’s segment, the show follows a nuclear family on Long Island featuring a physiatrist dad Alan Thicke (you may be familiar with his son Robin) who runs his practice out of the home, because who would not want crazy people hanging around the place where your kids live. His wife Joanna Kerns (who played Katherine Heigl’s mom in Knocked Up) is a writer for the local newspaper. The eldest Kirk Cameron (the Justin Beiber type heartthrob of his day and current television evangelist), is the slacker ladies man. Tracy Gold (if you watch any Lifetime movies, you have seen her latest works) is the brainy one. And Jersey Miller (who showed up for the two reunion movies) is the precocious youngest child.

As with any great sitcom from the eighties, the second season of Growing Pains was filled with plenty of “very special episodes” including when Ben learns why he shouldn’t call a sex phone line. Or when Ben brings home a homeless girl for Christmas who would grow up to become (this is not to be confused with the time five seasons later when Mike brought home a homeless Leonardo DiCaprio ton stay with the Seavers). Or when Maggie learns she cannot ground Mike for lying then turn around and tell a little white lie herself. Or the time Carol contemplates getting a nose job. But there was no more special episode this season than when Mike and Boner (R.I.P.) get offered cocaine by Kristy Swanson of all people. Which leads to the great eighties tradition of a character breaking character and the fourth wall in the middle of a scenes to talk to the audience to make sure the moral of the story gets through.

The orginal Buffy the Vampire Slayer wasn’t the only familiar face to show up this season. Of course future spin off subject Bill Kirchenbauer managed to teach two different subjects this season (here’s hoping Just the Ten of Us makes it to DVD soon) but two of his future daughters, Brooke Theiss and Jamie Luner, pop up under different names. Actually Mike Seaver even dated Luner and Heather Graham (in her first credited acting role) at the same time. Future The Wonder Years stars Olivia d’Abo and Dan Lauria show up in different episode. Kirk brought in his sister Candace in for another episode. And Dawn Wells, better known as Mary Ann, shows up for an episode.

The season 2 DVD features all twenty-two episodes on three disks, but for fans of bonus content, sadly there is none to be found. Here is a synopsis:

Congratulations…you’re fired. Mike (Kirk Cameron) receives a car from his pleased parents after he’s named Employee of the Month. (So how’s he going to tell them he’s been canned?) Mike’s not the only one with secrets. Brainy Carol (Tracey Gold) wants everyone to think she has a romantic extracurricular life with a hunky football hero. And what’s up with 10-year-old Ben (Jeremy Miller) and those 67 calls to a sex line? (No, it’s not what you might think.) These events don’t all happen at the same time, but they do all happen at the same place: the Season 2 home-sweet-ho-ho-home of the Seavers – dad Jason (Alan Thicke), mom Maggie (Joanna Kerns), three on-the-grow kids. Jason works as a psychiatrist. You think maybe it’s time to add some family appointments to his calendar

Full Disclosure Notice: This DVD was given to me on behalf of Warner Bros. for the purpose of reviewing the season.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/23/11

The Killing: Sterling being the girl in the video seemed like a bit of a cop-out. Shouldn’t the detectives have figured that out that it wasn’t Rosie’s with a simple blood test? Isn’t that forensics 101? You can download The Killing on iTunes.

Chuck: From the moment Chuck proposed, my first thought was, “great, now they can bring back Gary Cole” and finally he showed back up in Burbank this week. And the episode did not disappoint unless you count at the hints that Gary may actually miss the wedding itself. And are we ever going to learn what is going on with Sarah’s mother? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

The Event: Come next month at the Upfronts, this will the episode I look back on and give an indifferent shug when the show does not show up on NBC’s schedule. Seriously, Hal Holbrooke after pulling the strings all season, put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. What the frack? Random character deaths are one of the many things that ruined Lost. I officially no longer care about this show. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Event on iTunes.

Parenthood: No show on television has a higher tears to laughs ratio than Parenthood. It seemed like I was alternated between the two every five minutes of the finale. With Friday Night Lights ending the season, Parenthood has to return next year. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Survivor: Redemption Island: Still waiting for something interesting to happen. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Modern Family: Back in college I worked as rock climbing belayer for a week and actually had a guy about the size of Cameron walk in and needless to say I was not thrilled to have to spot him. Thankfully the guy did not make it more than two feet off the ground, but when he fell, it shot me about four feet off the ground. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Justified: Uh oh, things between the Bennetts and Gibbons just got escalated. But is Raylan really going to take away two of Mag’s sons from her? Should make a great next episode. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Community: While watching the final season of Fresh Prince of Bel Air (see my review: You’re Moving in with You Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air) I was treated to a blooper show, but I wondered where a proper clip show was. Of course Community had to take the clip show and flip it on its head by only featuring clips that never actually aired. R.I.P. The Cape. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Friday Night Lights: When I first saw Luke take out the other quarterback in the season premiere, my first thought was back to the Pilot with Jason Street and I am a bit surprised that was never touched on so far. Was the person that took Street out suspended? And Like how Becky was glad someone cared enough about her to be angry that she stayed out too late. It is about time something went right for that girl. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Best of the Week - 4/22/11

Quote of the Week: Wait! I think I hear future Lily sending us a message from her stripper pole. Thanks gay-dad dads; this dance is for you! (Cameron, Modern Family)

Song of the Week: Hard Times Come Again No More – Brett Dennen (Parenthood)

Big News of the Week: Weird Al Has a New Subject: Something fishy went on in the world of "Weird Al" Yankovic this week. Early Wednesday Al posted an extremely lengthy post on his website detailing the run around Lady GaGa gave him as he tried to get her approval to parody her Born This Way (permission by law he does not even need but does out of respect of the artist) only to reject his Perform This Way which Al then uploaded to YouTube for everyone to hear since we would not get it on his next album. Wouldn’t you know after a day of bad press, Gaga throws her manager under the bus saying she never rejected the song and now give full permission for Al to give it a proper release. Alrighty. Although given the song a lesson, it may have been for the best, because Perform This Way is not his strongest parody. Give the song a listen for yourself:



Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: 20 Years - The Civil Wars (Amazon MP3): The more I hear from this duo, the more it makes me want to find more. If you liked the Robert Plant & Alison Krauss album but wished they made more music together, you will want to check out The Civil Wars yourself, starting with this free track.

Deal of the Week: Seed Your Cloud: Amazon is continuing to deeply discount great ablums to announce their new Cloud and you can get albums by The Avett Brothers, Drive By Truckers, Jay-Z and The Black Crowes or under four dollars.

New Album Release of the Week: Layla and Other Love Songs [Super Deluxe 4CD, 2LP, DVD] - Derek and the Dominos

New DVD Release of the Week: Growing Pains: Complete Second Season

Video of the Week: I have distaste for crappy talent competitions so I will not be tuning into The Voice this Tuesday at 9:00, but I am intrigued by the competition aspect of the “mentor” picking their singers to compete against the other ones. But at the end of the day it is just dudes singing karaoke. But on the other hand, this happened:



Next Week Pick of the Week: NFL Draft, Thursday at 8; Friday at 6; Saturday at Noon on ESPN: During the Super Bowl, the NFL likes to run a commercial saying everyone is undefeated tomorrow. This gives fans of perennial bad teams a sense of optimism for a couple months. That optimism usually ends draft day when the offseason gets kick started. After a great draft last year and Peyton Hillis on the cusp of being the first player voted onto the Madden cover (EA Sports would not actually let dog killer Michael Vick win right?) things are looking up for my Browns. Of course that is they actually play any games in 2011.

Around the Tubes - 4/21/11

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Cinema Verite, Talking Funny, Treme, Svetlana, Authur, Neverland, Joan Rivers, Drew Carey's Improv-a-Ganza, Iron Chef, Hawaii Five-0, and Planet and the Planeteers.

- An American Family is a bit before my time, but the PBS show was one of the earliest reality shows back in 1973 and this Saturday at 9:00 HBO is revisiting the show with Cinema Verite staring Diane Lane and Tim Robbins as the Louds while James Gandolfini as the show’s producer. In the trailer below I also spied Justified’s Loretta as the Louds youngest daughter.



- For more on Cinema Verite, check out a piece in this week’s The New Yorker where Laurie Winer talks with the show’s original director Craig Gilbert.

- Also premiering this weekend on HBO is their new special Talking Funny featuring Louis C.K. Ricky Gervais, Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock talking about their craft Friday at 9:00. Below is a teaser:



Rounding out the weekend of HBO premieres is the second season of Treme on Sunday at 10:00 for an eleven episode run.

- In other premiere news, the second season of HDNet’s Svetlana returns Wednesday at 8:00.

- With Earth Day tomorrow PBS Kids Go!’s Arthur will be celebrating with five brand new episodes. Check your local listings for times.

- Syfy’s latest childhood story reimagining for the holidays will be that of Peter Pan. The four hour Neverland will be a prequel to the J.M. Barrie and will even see the return of Bob Hopkins to the fictional place while Keira Knightley will get everyone to believe in fairies as Tinkerbnell. Here is a teaser:



- The immortal Joan Rivers recently sat down with The Hollywood Reporter to talk her Fashion Police and Charlie Sheen.

- Drew Carey’s Improv-a-Gaza is still airing nightly on GSN and if you need some incentive to watch, the network has launched Drew’s Clues and Watch and Win sweepstakes where you can win a daily prize from now until June 3 of a trip for two to MGM Grand Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Head over to GSNTV for rules and to enter.

- For those interested in who will be competing on the next episode of the Iron Chef, head over to Guide Posts to meet the Paleys.

- Though not officially renewed yet, fans of Hawaii Five-0 can breathe a little better knowing that TNT recently acquired the off-network rights to the show, which should make it a lock for a sophomore season. Those that missed the show the first time around can expect TNT to start airing the first season in 2014. Mark your calendars now (assuming the Mayans were not right about the world ending next year).

- Just a remainder, Captain Planet and the Planeteers: Season 1 was released earlier this week just in time for Earth Day tomorrow.

Don't Call it a Comeback vol. V: The Cardigans

It seems like once a week I am listening to my iTunes library and I hear a song that makes me go, this artist really needs a comeback. So I thought I would start a new feature here on the 9th Green highlighting an artist that really needs to reenter the public consciousness. The only criterion is that the artist hasn’t had a legitimate hit in over a decade.

Due for a Comeback: The Cardigans

Biggest Hit: Lovefool



Last Hit: My Favorite Game (1996)

Where Are They Now: Though ignored stateside for most of the last decade, the band’s last three albums went to number one in their native Sweden as they have recorded off and on since breaking here. Lead singer Nina Persson has released two solo albums, the last in 2009. The band has been on a break since 2007.

Why the World Needs a The Cardigans Comeback: Because bubblegum pop has been unbearably bad for the past decade. Ironically I didn’t care for that fluffy sound for the first thirty seconds I heard Lovefool when it came on the work radio station. But that changed quickly when a moderately attracted co-worker of mine (that I would have a very short fling with later until she decided to become a hippy) shrieked with joy over how she loved the song. If Lovefool was you first experience with the band, I recommend you go and hunt down Carnival (it should be in the Key Tracks, but it is currently missing from Amazon MP3, but it is on iTunes). But The Cardigans were bubblegum pop with an extra bit of bite to it (they were heavy metal fans who covered Iron Man), just listen to the extra crunch in Been It. After their breakout album in America filled with sugary goodness, the band took a turn for the dark for their follow up which loss them there bubblegum fans ironically just at a time when bubblegum exploded on the radio with the Spice Girls and Britney Spears. It is a shame Gran Turismo lost the band some fans because it was still worth a listen and My Favorite Game deserved to be as big as Lovefool. And just in case their sound did not change drastic enough between those two albums, the next one, Long Gone Before Daylight, had a country tinge to it.

You’re Moving with Your Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air

Back in middle school there was a trifecta of shows that were required watching or there would be nothing for you to talk about the next day in class: The Simpsons, In Living Color and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. We all started watching the latter because D.J. Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince imparted the greatest one-two pearls of wisdom you can bestow on a pre-teen: 1) Parents just don’t understand and 2) Girls ain’t nothing but trouble. Now we can all reminiscent about those days with all six season of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
now available, own it on DVD starting today.

As the Fresh Prince of Bel Air entered its final season just as Will Smith the comic rapper was transitioning into Will Smith the action hero as the season started just months after Bad Boys became a worldwide smash, and ended just weeks before he became the king of the July 4th weekend with the release of Independence Day. And transition was the theme of the sixth season: Carlton spends the season trying to get into his father’s alter mater Princeton, Hilary has her new talk show, the appropriately titled Hilary, Ashley is trying to get into the New York School of Performing Arts, Uncle Phil thinks about transition his work on a Hollywood Madam trial into a political career, and even Geoffrey transitions into being a dad after learning of a grown son. All this leaves Will in flux to figure out his own life.

What is always great about watching (or re-watching) old television shows is spotting stars that were not as famous as they are today like the post Saturday Night Live, pre-Bring the Pain Chris Rock who shows up in a dress. And who remembers that Cousin Ashley once dated Steve Urkel? Michael Clarke Duncan shows up in one of his first acting roles. Will and Carlton went on a double date with Castle’s Tamala Jones and The Jamie Foxx Show’s Garcelle Beauvais. Zachery Ty Bryan stopped pestering Tim Allen long enough to harass Carlton. Duane Martin, currently palling around with Paul Riser, was delivering babies on the set of Hilary. And there were plenty of big names stopping by the final season too including Jay Leno, Joan Van Ark, William Shatner, Wayne Newton, B.B. King, Richard Roundtree (in his second appearance on the show with a different character), and of course D.J. Jazzy Jeff shows up a few times as Jazz. Dick Clark also shows up for a bloopers episode (remember when sitcom had these, now there are reserved for DVD sets). And if you didn’t see, or just forget, telling you the sitcom luminaries that show up, in their best known characters, for the series finale would be too spoilery.

The season 6 DVD features all twenty-four episodes on three disks, but for fans of bonus content, sadly there is none to be found. Here is a synopsis:

It’s a rap: the final season! The Fresh Prince’s reign is over. Will Smith and the rest of the hilarious cast take their final bows with all 24 Season 6 Episodes on 3 Discs. A lot’s happened since Will’s life got flipped, turned upside down and he showed up at the Banks’s Bel-Air doorstep. And the final season keeps the fun rollin’ to the very end with hip comedy style, phat one-liners, a not-to-be-missed blooper episode, and guest stars that include William Shatner, B.B. King, Dick Clark, Richard Roundtree, Wayne Newton and – in a standout turn – Chris Rock as an on-the-rise comic and his butt-ugly sister. Any guess who ends up as Will’s date for a night for dancin’ and (ugh) romancin’? You go, Will!

Full Disclosure Notice: This DVD was given to me on behalf of Warner Bros. for the purpose of reviewing the season.

Feed Your iPod vol. LVIII: White Blank Page

Over the past year, very few acts have very much staying power on the album charts beside Justin Beiber (of course it is easier when you release four albums in that time). The only other act is the antithesis of Beiber: Mumford and Sons. For those that still have not yet caught on to English lads it is time to jump on the bandwagon. A bandwagon that recently welcomed Taylor Swift who performed the band’s deep cut White Blank Page. The country starlet turned the passionate song and turns it into a subdued ode of yearning. Both are worth a listen.

White Blank Page – Mumford and Sons




White Blank Page – Taylor Swift

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/17/11

The Killing: Wow, that video popping up was shocking. It does help my case that the dad could be involved, getting rid of Rosie maybe to cover up such a video from getting out. You can download The Killing on iTunes.

Chuck: I am a little surprised the show didn’t go full Hannibal Lecher and wheel Volcoff in with the mask on. But this show has been much more fun this season (with the exception of the C.A.T. Squad) with Timothy Dalton on the screen. Great scenes with him and the gun runners and the chess bit. It is a shame he did not escape. Hopefully with Vivian having the weapon, they will have to wheel him back in a couple more times before the end of the season. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: As entertaining as Graduation Goggles was, the longer Jennifer Morrison sticks around, the bigger a drag she becomes. Hopefully next week is the break up episode because it is time for her to go. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Castle: Finally my theory of the most recognizable guest actor as the killer did not come to fruition because I had Erik Palladino pegged from the moment he popped up on screen. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Parenthood: I was surprised to look at the description for next week to see it is already the season finale. Even though we got ten extra episodes this season, it doesn’t feel like it should be over all ready. And it should be a great one with the Braverman’s coping with Amber’s accident. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Survivor: Redemption Island: Thank goodness there were two eliminations this week because watching the slow decimation of the old Zapatera tribe. Hopefully someone on the old Ometepe tribe comes up with a big play soon because this is becoming excruciating to watch. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Justified: Somewhat of a filler episode. We did get a great scene between Raylan and Art, but everything else seemed to be a transition to the stretch run of the season. But it was nice to see Herc up and walking again. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Community: You really cannot go wrong with a good Veronica Mars reference. It is about time the pop culture junkies on the show finally gave her a shout out. Speaking of which, when is Community going to get around to making a noir episode? You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Outsourced: I remember when I got my palms read back in college and how we made fun of it the whole time. But the chick did say I had a long life line and I am still alive, so she had that going for her. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Outsourced on iTunes.

For those looking for my thoughts on the Friday Night Lights return, I wrote about them back when it premiered on DirecTV, check them out at First Impressions: Friday Night Lights: The Final Season.

Also check out my Preview of Happy Endings.

Best of the Week - 4/16/11

Quote of the Week: Because you dress like Justin Beiber and eat pork rinds for dinner. (The Killing)

Song of the Week: I Will Remember You – Sarah McLaughlin (How I Met Your Mother)

Big News of the Week: Norm MacDonald Returns to Television: One of my heroes finally returned to the small screen this week, the only problem is, I have not seen it yet. See, Sports Show with Norm MacDonald is on past my bedtime, So I figured I would head over to Hulu the next day, only it was not there. Next I tried Comedy Central.com and all that was there were five short clips. Then on to Comedy Central’s On Demand channel to no avail. As a last resort, I looked up its repeat schedule and it only reairs past midnight. Seriously Comedy Central, throw me a bone so I do not have to break out the VCR to watch the show.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: I Should Have Known - Foo Fighters (AmazonMP3)

Deal of the Week: Up to 59% Off ABC TV (Castle, Lost, Scrubs)

New Album Release of the Week: Two - Lenka

New DVD Release of the Week: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air: The Complete Sixth Season

Video of the Week: After a brief hiatus, this week saw a double dose of Yvonne Strahovski with the return of Chuck and she even popped u[p in the latest College Humor video. Although I kind of wish I could unsee the second. The video lampoons the very parodyable Katy Perry, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga and managed to come up with a song three times worse than any of the songs of the original artists (which has to be hard to do) to the point that College Humor should really think about changing its name. So be warned you may think less of Sarah Walker after watching this video.




Next Week Pick of the Week: Game of Thrones, Sunday (4/17) at 9:00 n HBO: HBO rules the early 00’s critically with show like The Sopranos, The Wire, Deadwood and Rome, but there have been chinks in the armor of late with some considering Showtime, the must subscribe channel while other consider AMC the channel with the best shows on television (I would argue that title goes to FX). With the critically mixed True Blood the only recent hit, HBO looks to reassert its dominance in terms of quality this weekend with the premiere of the highly anticipated Game of Thrones based on George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. I know I cannot wait until the show hits DVD shelves.

Lyrics Quiz: One Hit Wonders of the 90's (That Should Had Been on VH1's List)

A couple weeks ago VH1 debut The 40 Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 90’s and my initial thought when it was done was that I could think of 40 songs off the top of that were more worthy than most of the songs they picked (a fourth of which should not even be considered one hit wonders, though I am sure some people could say the same about my lists). And I took twenty-five of the most egregious omissions from VH1’s list for this month’s Lyrics Quiz. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them.

1. I couldn’t have a one conversation if it wasn’t for the lies, lies, lies. And still I want to tell you everything, until I close my eyes.
2. You lied to me, all those times I said that I love you. You lied to me, yes, I tried, yes, I tried. You lied to me, even though you know I'd die for you. You lied to me, yes, I cried, yes, I cried.
3. You know what’s the problem, you not used to learning. I'm Big Daddy Longstroke, and your man’s Pee Wee. (I Got a Man - Positive K; guessed by Doug)
4. Keep ‘em near the fifties and the hundreds all arranged. Anything less than that, you can keep the change. Not filthy rich but (expletive deleted), I’m barely broke. Blessed with flows that keep you hooked like dope. (Deja Vu (Uptown Baby) - Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz; guessed by Doug)
5. ‘Cause now that I’m rich so many women want to do me it makes a man say “Expletive Deleted.” I’m finally taxing more play than Uncle Sam.
6. I see thru you, I see through you. I see thru you, I see thru you. Your dirty tricks, you make me sick. I see thru you, I see thru you.
7. Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? Do you want to die? I promise you I will treat you well my sweat angel. So help me Jesus. (Possum Kingdom - The Toadies; guessed by Doug)
8. Make sure your hair is spotless and clean. Wash it at least once every two weeks: once every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Footballhero in the hall, tell him he played a good game, tell him you liked his article in the newspaper. (Popular - Nada Surf; guessed by Doug)
9. When I say freeze you’ll freeze one time. When I say freeze you all stop on a dime: FREEZE. Now all the ladies in the place, if you have real hair, real fingernails. If you got a job, you going to school and you don’t need nobody help you handle your business: make some noise. (Let Me Clear My Throat (Live) - DJ Kool; guessed by Doug)
10. Got a picture of you beside me. Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup. Got a fist of pure emotion. Got a head of shattered dreams.
11. You’ll say that we've got nothing in common, no common ground to start from and we’re falling apart. You’ll say the world has come between us, our lives have come between us. Still I know you just don’t care.
12. Sunday comes and all the papers say, Ma Teresa’s joined the mob and happy with her full time job.
13. Who got the only sweetest thing in the world? Who got the love? Who got the freshy-freshy? Who got the only sweetest thing in the world.
14. Groovy, groovy, jazzy, funky, pounce dance as we dip in the melodic sea, the rythem keeps flowing, it drips to MC. Sweet sugar, pop surgar, pop rocks, it pops, ya don’t stop ‘til the sweet beat drops. (Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) - Us3; guessed by Doug)
15. Well I would like to hold my little hand. How we will run, we will. How we will crawl we will. I would like to hold my little hand. How we will run we will. How we will crawl.
16. I heard the prom night is a bomb night with a hood rat you can hold tight. But really though, when I roll in my car I can’t even get a “Hello.” (I Wish - Skee-Lo; guessed by Doug)
17. Oh, you probably won’t remember me. It’s probably ancient history. I’m one of the chosen few who went ahead and fell for you. I’m out of hope, I’m out of touch, I fell too fast, I feel too much.
18. Please tell why my car is in the front yard and I’m sleeping with my clothes on. Came in through the window last night. And you’re gone. (My Own Worst Enemy - Lit; guessed by Doug)
19. Don’t need the police to try to save them. Your voice will sink, so please stay off my back or I will attack and you don’t want that. (The Power - Snap!; guessed by Doug)
20. Tomorrow morning I’m hitting the dusty road . Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go. I’m gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me.
21. I sat on a mountainside with peace of mind and I lay by the ocean making love to her, with visions clear. Walked the days with no one near and I return as chained and bound to you.
22. Mary, Mary, Mary, it`s quite contrary. Yo, how did you earn your dough? You didn’t finish school you ain’t got not job. But to the human eye it`s pretty simple. (Live and Learn - Joe Public; guessed by Doug)
23. Now here came Margarita and her friend Shirley Temple. I asked my friends about Margerita. He said that Shirley was a virgin and I wouldn’t want to meet her.
24. With the light in our eyes it’s hard to see. Holding on and on to what we believe. With the light in our eyes it’s hard to see. I’m not touched but I’m aching to be.
25. I met God this afternoon riding on an uptown train. I said, “Don't you have better things to do?” He said, "If I do my job what would you complain about?"

Around the Tubes - 4/14/11

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Paus Riser Show, Friday Night Lights, Saving Pelican 895, The Steve Miller Band, The Stoned Family Robinson, Urban Legend, Homeland, and TruTV Upfronts.

- After a twelve year hiatus, Paul Riser is returning to NBC tonight. And even though it didn’t even exist back then, Paul will be live Tweeting during both the east and west coast broadcasts @PaulRiser. Until then, here is a preview of what you can expect:

The Return of Paul


- In other NBC premiere news, just a reminder that Friday Night Lights returns for its final season tomorrow at 8:00.

- One of the striking photos out of last summer’s gulf oil spill were the oil soaked pelicans and next Wednesday at 9:00 HBO will profiling one of those pelicans with Saving Pelican 895 showing its recovery to be able to live out in the wild again.

Trailer

- The Steve Miller Band will be releasing their latest album Let Your Hair Down next Tuesday and will be promptly touring it behind it starting Saturday. Head over to SteveMillerBand.com for dates and locations.

- Just a reminder for all the stoners out there, next week is 4/20, and if your eyes are not too glazed over, on the day, you can download a free e-book of The Stoned Family Robinson.

- New series Urban Legend premieres Monday at 10:00 on Syfy. Check out a sneak peak below:

Urban Legend “Best Laid Plans”


- Showtime recently picked up Homeland to series and now you can see Claire Danes in action by heading over to YouTube and watch a sneak peak of the show.

-TruTV recently had its Upfront and here is some new out of the event (not including Police POV, which premieres Sunday at 10). The big news it the cable channel picked up the off-network rights to ABC’s Wipeout. Returning next season will include Hardcore Pawn, Black Gold, Full Throttle Saloon and Lizard Lick Towing. And here is a rundown of the eight new series you can expect on TruTV:

SEMI-PRO (working title) – In this league, the players have all the heart … and half the talent. It’s semi-pro football, where grown men live the dream of winning a championship, or at least hitting the bars after the game. Over the course of a season, SEMI-PRO follows a colorful group of semi-tough, semi-good players as tempers flare and rivalries burn. SEMI-PRO comes to truTV from NFL Films.

MOTOCLASH (working title) – World MotoClash is the race of a lifetime: It’s known as the longest, most dangerous motorcycle race in the history of the sport. And getting there is half the battle. truTV takes an inside look at what it takes to make it in this intense race. MOTOCLASH comes to truTV from RD Independent Productions and executive producers Tony Scott, Ridley Scott, Mary Lisio and David Zucker of Scott Free.

GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS (working title) – If you want to set a world record, take a few lessons from the Pumphrey brothers. Craig “The Professor” Pumphrey and Paul “The Human Bulldozer” Pumphrey are Guinness World Record holders who coach others on the ins-and-outs of being best on the planet. GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS comes to truTV from High Noon Entertainment (Cake Boss).

IMPRACTICAL JOKERS – The IMPRACTICAL JOKERS are four lifelong friends on a mission to embarrass each other to the max. Since they were kids, Sal, Murr, Q and Joe have dared one another to do the most ridiculous, humiliating public pranks imaginable. Now, to find out who’s best under pressure, they’ll compete in unbelievably awkward social experiments – all recorded by hidden cameras. The loser must do the most mortifying challenge ever. IMPRACTICAL JOKERS comes to truTV from NorthSouth Productions (Say Yes to the Dress).

CHILL – Joe O’Donoghue, or “Joey Ice,” is a frenzied, profanity-spouting, modern-day Michelangelo in frozen H2O. Customers don’t go to Joey for typical ice sculptures. Joe and his Brooklyn team specialize in over-the-top, outrageous, never-before-seen creations. But with goods that can melt or bust to pieces, a potential disaster is always just around the corner. CHILL comes to truTV from Entertainment One Television (Haven, Hung) and Left/Right (Showtime’s This American Life).

SOUTH BEACH TOW – Tremont Towing is a family-run business in beautiful South Beach, where every day is spring break. The problem? There isn’t nearly enough parking. With plenty of confrontations, hilarious interactions and a slew of unpredictable situations, it’s never a dull moment at SOUTH BEACH TOW. The show comes to truTV from Nuyorican Productions (DanceLife) and Bodega Pictures.

HOLLYWOOD TAXI – Mike Grasso is a veteran driver who has cruised the streets of Hollywood more than 34 years. Today, he presides over a fleet of 290 cabs. From celebrities to partiers, HOLLYWOOD TAXI captures the wildest rides in Tinseltown. HOLLYWOOD TAXI comes to truTV from Irwin Entertainment (Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew).

BEAR SWAMP RECOVERY – Owned by a large Sicilian family, the crew at Bear Swamp Recovery in New Jersey repossesses what others simply can’t. And business booms in the summer, when the shore is overrun with careless vacationers and crazy locals who think the rules don’t apply to them. BEAR SWAMP RECOVERY comes to truTV from Bischoff-Hervey Entertainment (Scott Baio is 45...and Single, Beverly Hills Fabulous).

Previewing Happy Endings

There are basically three types of sitcoms: the kinds that you quote for days after an episode airs (raise your hand is you repeated Raj Koothrappali’s newest drunken catch phrase repeatedly since he uttered it last Thursday), the kind where you laugh about as much as a viewing of Schindler’s List, and the kind where after viewing you remember laughing few times, but cannot remember what exactly was funny about it. Happy Endings falls into the third category.

Happy Endings follows a six pack of Friends in various states of relationship. In the premiere tonight, Elisha Cuthbert (House of Wax) leaves Zachary Knighton (Surfer, Dude) at the altar putting their status within the group in question. Caught in the middle are their married friends Eliza Coupe (Scrubs) and Damon Wayans, Jr. (Dance Flick) as well as single Casey Wilson (Saturday Night Live) and Adam Pally (Taking Woodstock) who are just looking for a good man, or most times, an available one.

Going with the bad new first, Happing Endings is coming out after each network debuted their own Friends revival (Perfect Couples, Better with You, Mad Love, Traffic Light, but it did beat out Friends with Benefits which still does not have an airdate) but the good news is it is the funniest of the bunch, which, of course does not say much. Still you have to scratch your head at the person who thought Cuthbert would be decent on a comedy and Knighton, who has about as much comedy in his background, does about as good as delivering a laugh line. Coupe clearly has the best chops on in the cast, but much like Olivia Munn, she is stuck in the uptight housewife role. And with a name like Damon Wayans, I expected more from the comedian that playing Coupe’s lapdog husband. Then there is who Pally plays the straightest gay homosexual on television since Will Truman but it is clear most of his “gay” jokes were written by heterosexuals.

With its shortcomings, there are still enough laughs to keep me watching including a spit your drink moment in the premiere when Knighton founds something out about a new beau he tries to make Cuthbert jealous. And every episode seems to have one completely out of left field joke that will make you rewind to make sure you heard what you think you just heard. It is too bad they did not go all out and add even more of those jokes throughout the episodes.

Happy Endings premieres tonight at 9:30 with back to back episodes and regularly airs Wednesdays at 10:00 starting next week. There are currently pages for the show on Hulu and iTunes so presumably you will be able to stream and download the episodes there after they air.

The Funniest People on Television

This week is a boon for new comedy. Comedy Central kicked it off Sunday with the first ever Comedy Awards. Drew Carey's Improv-a-ganza premiered yesterday. Norm McDonald debuts his Sports Show tonight. Tomorrow ABC expands its comedy block to three hours including an hour of new show Happy Endings. NBC continues its three hour block Thursday with the return of Paul Riser to network television. If that is not enough funny for you, next week HBO is airing a special Talking Funny featuring four of the funniest out there: Ricky Gervais, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock and Louis C.K. talking about their craft. So I thought to myself, self, how about coming up with the funniest people currently on television to celebrate the comedy boon. So here are the ten people that give me the highest laughs per episode ratio:

1. Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)
2. Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
3. Karl Plkington (An Idiot Abroad, The Ricky Gervais Show)
4. Kenan Thomason (Saturday Night Live)
5. Eden Sher (The Middle)
6. Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory)
7. Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family)
8. Ariel Winter (Modern Family)
9. Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live)
10. Donald Glover (Community)


But who cares what I think, I asked Kim over at TVScreener to create her own list and here are her favorite funny people:

1. Tina Fey (30 Rock)
2. Charlie Day (It’s Always Funny in Philadelphia)
3. Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live)
4. Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreations)
5. Larry David (Curb Your Enthesiasm)
6. Kaitlin Olson (It’s Always Funny in Philadelphia)
7. Joel McHale (Community, The Soup)
8. Craig Ferguson (The Late Late Show)
9. Justin Kirk (Weeds)
10. Danny McBride (Eastbound and Down)


I also asked sometime contributor to the 9th Green Doug and here is what he came up with:

1. Chelsea Handler (Chelsea Lately)
2. Tracey Morgan (30 Rock)
3. Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
4. Rico Rodriguez (Modern Family)
5. Busy Phillips (Cougar Town)
6. Jane Krakowski (30 Rock)
7. Ariel Winter (Modern Family)
8. Loni Love (Chelsea Lately)
9. Erin Gibson (Infomania)
10. Sarah Hyland (Modern Family)

Previewing Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza

Drew Carey is returning to prime tonight on GSN and no his daytime game show The Price Is Right is not moving to the PM, but he is launching a new improv show Drew Carey’s Improv-A-Ganza. You might think to yourself, that sounds just like his old show Who’s Line Is it Anyway? And you would be correct; it is just like Who’s Line Is it Anyway? to the point that many of the cast members like Greg Proops, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Chip Estin, and Jeff Davis are also on the new show. And Carey’s old pal Kathy Kinney (you may know her better as Mimi) also shows up. Also the breakout star from the original, Wayne Brady also pops up in an episode.

Really the only difference is Drew actually gets on the stage as there is no official judging like the original and there is much more audience participation, from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, this time around. And Brady is not the only one making a special appearance, and the show will be getting an extra dose of Tiger Blood during one of the episodes when Charlie Sheen shows up. Conspicuously the only footage that GSN has released was Sheen hugging everyone on stage and none of his improve skills, but considering his tour reviews, and, well, the rest of his life, I expect it will be a train wreck. If we are lucky it will be The Situation at the Donald Trump Roast bad.

Drew Carey’s Improv-a-Ganza airs weeknights at 8:00 and 11:00 on GSN starting tonight with forty episodes set to air. The Charlie Sheen episode airs tomorrow (Tuesday). Below is a preview of the show and a behind the scenes look.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/10/11

The Event: How James Bond villain of them to order the death of the token hot chick only to let her burn up in a fire. What, would putting a bullet in her head been too messy? But anyway. It looks like the president was too stupid to put a GPS in the buses. Not surprising. But I like how he is getting seriously paranoid more and more with every passing episode, the glance he gave his wife at the end, essentially questioning if she is indeed non terrestrial. Can’t say anything else in the episode was particularly as interesting. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Event on iTunes.

Castle: Just last week I complained how Alexis was too goodie-goodie and this week she gets in a catfight. It is about time they gave her some edge. But of course I just happened to be eating some pizza when I watched this episode. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Lights Out: Well that was a depressing, if not unexpected, ending. Though it would have been interesting to see where The Justice League, as Barry put it, would go next season, not having a sophomore season may have been for the best. Watching someone lose there mind is not high on the things I would like to watch list. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Lights Out on iTunes.

Survivor: Redemption Island: How do you talk about the game rewarding big moves, then not execute your big plan? It is hard to root for Matt again at Redemption Island for making such a boneheaded move. But big boneheaded move goes to Boston Rob, when Matt tells you that the other tribe is willing to give him an immunity idol, you tell him to get the idol from them. What sucks is this season has been begging for a bold move since Russell got voted out, and now we are set for another month of the lemming following Boston Rob until the former Zapatera is eliminated. Ugg. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Justified: I guess nothing could have possibly lived up to Boyd’s tease that he figured out what Mags was doing. A land grab to limit driving access is not very sexy. I am a little surprised that the Loretta storyline came to a head already. I thought they would save that for the season finale. But I am disappointed that she was not the one that exacted revenge on her father’s behalf. I guess there are still two Bennett’s left, but I do not see her escaping Foster Care to hunt down Mags. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Oh drunken Raj, who would have guessed he would out catchphrase Sheldon’s Bazinga. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Outsourced: Out of all the dumb bets I suffered through during college, I am glad no one thought of pepper roulette, I am not sure if I could have made it past one game. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Outsourced on iTunes.