We on Award Tour: 2007 MTV Video Music Awards Nominations

The MTV Music Video Awards: once was the cream of the crop of all awards show now it is barely the most entertaining award show on its own network. Yeah this could be because of poor choices of hosts. No host announced for this year (yet?) but Timbaland has been named the music maestro whatever that means. There were some huge shake ups in the categories this year with a significantly less number of them than before including the category that were voted on by the fans, Viewers Choice and the MTV2 Award. Also gone are all the genre categories, so no rap, hip-hop, r&b, rock and pop. Although this year you can vote for the Best New Artist here. Also it looks like this year most of the categories are more about a portfolio of work rather than a specific video by an artist, a change I hate because it puts more focus on the artist instead of the video. But anyways.

The show airs September 9th and as part as being the music maestro Timbaland got to picvck the performers that will include himself (naturally), Chris Brown, Fall Out Boy, Foo Fighters, Rihanna, Kanye West, and Amy Winehouse. Lily Allen is also scheduled to perform but considering her work visa got yanked she may have to do so via satellite. Also Mark Ronson with be the house DJ this year. Now here are this year’s nominees:


Video of the Year
Amy Winehouse - Rehab
Beyoncé - Irreplaceable
Justice - D.A.N.C.E.
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around ...
Kanye West - Stronger
Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z) - Umbrella

Who Will Win: What Goes Around…
Who Should Win: Stronger
Should Have Been Nominated: Signal Fire - Snow Patrol

Timberlake and Beyoncé so conventional wisdom says one of them will take home the biggest prize, not that either deserve it. Yeah What Goes Around… was entertaining in a they were actually taking it seriously kind of way but it doesn’t even rank in the top ten of the past year. But to look on the bright side, if either win Kanye just may storm the stage.


Male Artist of the Year
Akon - Don't Matter, I Wanna Love You (featuring Snoop Dogg), Smack That (featuring Eminem)
Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothing, Stronger, Classic (Better Than I've Ever Been - DJ Premier remix, featuring Nas, KRS-One and Rakim)
Justin Timberlake - Let Me Talk To You/ My Love, SexyBack (featuring Timbaland), What Goes Around ...
T.I. - Big Things Poppin' (Do It), You Know What It Is (featuring Wyclef Jean), What You Know
Robin Thicke - Can U Believe, Lost Without U, Wanna Love You Girl (remix, featuring Busta Rhymes and Pharrell)

Who Will Win: Kanye West
Who Should Win: Kanye West
Should Have Been Nominated: Common

Here is my big complaint on the multiple videos thing; if Akon were to win do Snoop Dogg and Eminem get an award too or even allowed on stage? They may just give this to Kanye to appease him from getting too upset.


Female Artist of the Year
Amy Winehouse - Rehab, You Know I'm No Good
Beyoncé - Irreplaceable, Beautiful Liar (featuring Shakira)
Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal), Glamorous (featuring Ludacris), Fergalicious (featuring Will.I.Am)
Nelly Furtado - Maneater, Say It Right
Rihanna - Umbrella (featuring Jay-Z)

Who Will Win: Beyoncé
Who Should Win: Beyoncé
Should Have Been Nominated: Lily Allen

It is a shame that Lily Allen isn’t included here because her trio of videos are more entertaining than any other anything else on this list, most of which are downright boring. Of course MTV would rather nominate the bigger stars in exchange for them to show up at the awards to perform or present. And did MTV run a test to make sure Fergie belongs in this here?


Best New Artist
Amy Winehouse - Rehab, You Know I'm No Good
Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats
Gym Class Heroes - Clothes Off, Cupid's Chokehold/ Breakfast in America
Lily Allen - Alfie, Smile, LDN
Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks

Who Will Win: Gym Class Heroes
Who Should Win: Lily Allen
Should Have Been Nominated: Cold War Kids

It is odd that Underwood only has one video listed because she has released five videos off here album. Of course that is almost as odd as here getting a nomination at all because 1) her album was released a year and a half ago, 2) she doesn’t appeal to MTV’s core demographic. I wonder if she has ever been played on the channel. Again, you can vote for the Best New Artst. I am not going to say who you should vote for, but be sure you vote for Lily Allen


Best Group
Fall Out Boy - This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race, Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Gym Class Heroes - Clothes Off, Cupid's Chokehold/ Breakfast in America
Linkin Park - What I've Done
Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder
White Stripes - Icky Thump

Who Will Win: Gym Class Hero
Who Should Win: Linkin Park
Should Have Been Nominated: Arctic Monkeys

This will most likely come down to Fall Out Boy and Gym Class Heroes but I think it will go to the latter signifying the end of the Fall Out Boy era. Hooray. As for quality it comes down to Linkin Park and the White Stripes, with LP having a slight edge.


Most Earthshattering Collaboration
Akon (featuring Eminem) - Smack That
Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar
Justin Timberlake (featuring Timbaland) - SexyBack
Gwen Stefani (featuring Akon) - The Sweet Escape
U2 (featuring Green Day) - The Saints Are Coming

Who Will Win: Beyoncé and Shakira
Who Should Win: U2 (featuring Green Day)
Should Have Been Nominated: Mark Ronson (featuring Lily Allen) - Oh My God

In an attempt to remain cool we get lame category names like Eathshattering. Yawn. You are showing your age MTV. And don’t ask me why all the videos are “featuring” someone except the Beyoncé and Shakira one.


Quadruple Threat of the Year
Beyoncé
Bono
Jay-Z
Justin Timberlake
Kanye West

Who Will Win: Justin Timberlake
Who Should Win: Bono
Should Have Been Nominated: Scooter McGavin

What does this even mean and why should we care?


Monster Single of the Year
Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend
Daughtry - Home
Fall Out Boy - Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Lil Mama - Lip Gloss (No Music)
T-Pain (featuring Yung Joc) - Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin')
Timbaland (featuring Keri Hilson, D.O.E. and Sebastian) - The Way I Are
MIMS - This Is Why I'm Hot
Plain White T's - Hey There, Delilah
Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z) - Umbrella
Shop Boyz - Party Like A Rock Star

Who Will Win: Umbrella
Who Should Win: Hey There, Delilah
Should Have Been Nominated: Rockstar (Nickelback)

Just to show how out of touch I am with the current MTV generation (keep in mind I was part of the original generation), six of the ten nominations have a very good chance of showing up on my Worst Songs of 2007 list. And the other four won’t be charting very high on my 100 Best Songs of 2007 list either if at all. And can the Fall Out Boy single really be considered a “Monster” single? And why are the Video Awards honoring single? Well I guess it is better than the ring tone catagory last year. I could easily rattle off at least ten song that were bigger hits this past year. As for Nickelback, I am going to talk more about this song tomorrow (or by Friday at the latest).


I am not really one to comment on the technical awards but here are those:

Best Director
Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar (director - Jake Nava)
Christina Aguilera - Candyman (directors - Matthew Rolston and Christina Aguilera)
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around ... (director - Samuel Bayer)
Kanye West - Stronger (director - Hype Williams)
Linkin Park - What I've Done (director - Joseph Hahn)
Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z) - Umbrella (director - Chris Applebaum)


Best Editing in a Video
Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar (editor - Jarett Figl)
Gnarls Barkley - Smiley Faces (editor - Ken Mowe)
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around ... (editor - Hollee Singer)
Kanye West - Stronger (editors - Peter Johnson and Corey Weisz)
Linkin Park - What I've Done (editor - Igor Kovalik)


Best Choreography in a Video
Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar (choreographer - Frank Gatson)
Chris Brown - Wall To Wall (choreographers - Rich & Tone and Flii Styles)
Ciara - Like A Boy (choreographer - Jamaica Craft)
Eve - Tambourine (choreographer - Tahesha Scott)
Justin Timberlake - My Love (choreographer - Marty Kudelka)

Feed Your iPod vol. 2: Bad Reputation

Back in the mid-nineties, when alternative and grunge were dying out and gangsta rap was starting to get stale (how that sub-genre is still popular is disturbing) VH1 one came out with a new video show called Crossroads that featured up and coming rock artists as well as some well season vets all of which had a more classic, organic sound to it. Some artists featured on the show when onto bigger and better things (see the Dave Matthews Band) while some whet back into obscurity after being featured on the show (anyone remember Deep Blue Something?). If you can find it, I recommend the accompanying CD that came out with the show.

One song that has stuck with me from this era was Bad Reputation by Freedy Johnson. The song is a brisk acoustic number with a melody that will have you singing along after the first listen. The song did slip out of my conscious for a little while, it was even erroneously emitted from my five disk, Ninety Best Songs of the Nineties mix tape that I made at the turn of the century. But a couple years ago I actual heard the song at the grocery store of all places (I guess they were getting tired of playing Matchbox Twenty and The Temptations constantly) and rushed home to see that that the song was in fact actually on my iPod already.

The lyrics are great and on occasion I have been know to tell people that “I now I have a bad reputation and it isn’t just talk, talk, talk.” And once I even quoted the whole song to a girl who insinuated she liked bad boys. I think it worked for the first verse, but as I went on I think I moved out of sensitive bad boy territory into eccentric. And I am not the only one who loves the song as Death Cab for Cutie and John Mayer have both put their stamp on the song in concert. So give it a listen below and if you like it, go ahead and download it and come one song closer to filling up your iPod.:

Bad Reputation - Freedy Johnson




Got a song you think everyone should feed their iPods? Send me an e-mail (see sidebar) along with a short paragraph why people should download it and/or what it means to you and maybe I will feature it in a future post. This segment is meant to highlight songs that may have slipped thought the cracks when released or maybe album tracks that you think should have been released as a single. So no Stairway to Heaven, Nuthin But a G Thang, or Umbrella needed.

I'm the Voice to Offend

There are some bands that would be better off as one hit wonders. Most notable the Bloodhound Gang fits this category. Fire, Water, Burn would have fit pretty well into the moniker one hit wonder with its suburb rap and hilarious way they bleeped out the naughty words. Then years later the group just had to have another hit with The Bad Touch forever diminishing Fire, Water, Burn by knocking it out of the realm of one hit wonderdom because, really, who cares about two hit wonders? But keep in mind sometime history distorts hits as Vanilla Ice is routinely considered a one hit wonder even though Play that Funky Music was almost as big as Ice Ice Baby at that time.

Along those lines of bands that would be better off as a one hit wonder is Sum 41. Fatlip was catchy as the first rap-rock hybrid sifted through the pseudo-punk filter. But when the band should have been resting on their laurels, they instead kept at it churning out fifth rate Green Day knock-offs. That continues on their fifth studio album Underclass Hero (not to be confused with the John Lennon song Working Class Hero recently covered by Green Day).

Taking the Green Day route even further, they are now a trio (did anyone else notice they were down a member) going for a more political writing style. This is no more present than on March of the Dogs which starts off by announcing the president of the Unites States is dead. Yawn. Do we really need political commentary by a bunch of Canadians one of which who has Paris Hilton as one of the notches on his bedpost? Well we need it about as much as a love song about that same dude (see Avril Lavigne’s When You’re Gone) or a power balled about Avril Lavine (see Sum 41’s With Me).

The only interesting songs here is when the band gets away from Green Day lineage and sounding like ninety percent of the bands that have ever showed up at the Warped Tour like on the short, as in under a minute, French Ma Poubelle. Or on So Long, Goodbye where the band sounds like it is trying to recreate Wonderwall to a slower beat. Granted it ends up like sounding like a mash-up between the Oasis classic and Good Riddance (Time of Your Life).

Song to Download - So Long, Goodbye

Underclass Hero gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXX

Big News of the Week: Rescue Me Now on iTunes: For those who accidentally miss an episode or just like watching your television show on small screen you can now download the current season on iTunes. You can download the current episodes that have aired already or buy the season pass for $25.99.

Greek: Last week I mentioned the most entertain part of the show so far were the blink and you miss them cameos from Lonelygirl15 and I must have blinked because I missed her if she showed up last this week. Although they didn’t really need her this week as the episode was as solid as the first episode but without the dull points. I was a little disappointed that the sport they went with was floor hockey. If you are going with an iconic college intramural event you have to go with broomball or at the very least flag football. And no matter how much it is over done, the utilization of the slow motion for comedic effect works every time. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.

Rescue Me: This season by far has been the most uneven of the series and the show may have had the first potential jump the shark moment last week with Tommy holding baby what-his-name over the rail. Tommy has done some despicable things over four seasons but this will bring him to the point of being unredeemable. Not that I am all that worried for the welfare for the kids considering the out of the blue admission from Lou that he know wants kids. All this after what started out being a great episode with one of the most intense fires in the history of the show.

Pirate Master: Finally caught up online this week after the show got ranked from television last week. Oddly I can carve out an hour to watch the show every week at a specific time yet it is more daunting to watch the show at my leisure over the internet. But anyways. I did correctly predict that they would shake up the show last week and the number dwindling by eliminating the captain mates and lowering the number of black spots to two. The more surprising twist being the captain gets to keep all the gold and they retired the royal pardon (something they did a little too soon). Krista replaces the creepy dreadlock dude who is promptly set adrift two weeks ago and gets annoying by the next episode like every other captain before her. But I was surprised it took this long to think about throwing an expedition, this time with Jay trying to keep Krista in power. During the run of creepy dreadlock dude I’m surprised that no one thought about throwing one to get him out of power. Watch the current season of Pirate Master on Innertube.


Pick of the Week: The Knights of Prosperity, Wednesday at 8:30 and 9:30 on ABC: Even though were in the middle of the heart of summer, there are a few things worth watching this week including the return of Meerkat Manor on Friday on the Animal Planet and next Sunday is the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav (on a side note: if anyone watches Mission: Man Band on VH1 this Monday, I will totally think less of you and may even publicly mock you for doing so). But for my money must see TV is the brief return of Let’s Rob Mick Jagger Ray Romano. The show at times rivaled My Name Is Earl as the funniest show on television only to be screwed time and time again by ABC first yanking it from the fall schedule only to debut it against the National Championship Game, Later going head to head with American Karaoke only to move it to a half an hour earlier without any announcement. The show was then yanked again hours before the Ray Romano arc was supposed to start because the president said it wanted to re-launch the show at a later date. But when the show didn’t end up on the new ABC schedule the president of the network said they just couldn’t find a spot for the show yet he was able to find a spot for Cavemen which doubtfully will make it to Thanksgiving. So we only have four more episodes of the show, two being burned and the other will presumably will next week. And just so ABC continues its extremely poor scheduling decisions, the show alternates every half hour with According to Jim so you can’t just watch an hour of the Knights. For other networks who hope to kill off their own great shows just see the above template. If you want to catch up on the show, ABC.com still has all the previous episodes available for streaming.


On a completely unrelated note, I heard the most absurd thing the other day and I just had to share: Someone told me that Rihanna’s Umbrella was a metaphor for a woman’s downstairs lady parts. Can anyone confirm or denied this? And if this is true please don’t tell me what the line, “Now that it’s raining more than ever” means in this metaphor (especially if the song was written by R. Kelly). But if it is or isn’t there is a good chance the next time I am out at a club and see a token hot chick pass by I will turn to my nearest drunken buddy and say, “I’d sure like to stand underneath her umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh.” And is it wrong that I have started to like this song solely because of this rumor?

Shark Week Update

Shark Week comes to a close tomorrow and my sources tell me it opened with the highest premiere ever in the twenty year history of the event. Here is a run down of what is left to come:

Sharks: A Family Affair: As South Africa's leading shark expert, Craig Ferreira has spent his entire life studying and diving with sharks. For the past several years his dream has been to travel the world for a year to study what has been called "the dirty dozen" -- 12 of the deadliest species of shark. Friday, Aug. 3, 9-10 p.m. ET/PT

Sharkman: Michael Rutzen is on an unbelievable quest: He plans to hypnotize, in open water, a great white shark. Saturday, Aug. 4, 9-11 p.m. ET/PT (two-hour special)

Of course your television set is not the only place you can get your shark fix as there are a couple of features you can check out over at Discovery.com including The Shark Runner Game, The widget, The Shark Video Mixer. And if you are one that wants Shark Week to extend throughout the whole year I highly recommend you pick up the four disk DVD which the Discovery Channel was nice enough to send along to me. And don't forget the land dwelling at Meerkat Manor return next week to Animal Planet August 10th and below are a couple more pictures:

Don't Download These Videos vol. XXV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Wake Up Call - Maroon 5 (Director’s Cut; i.e. there’s naughty stuff)



This video was a complete let down if only because it features the least attracted token hot chick Maroon 5 has ever utilized for one of their videos. Seriously, was the chick from This Love too busy to make an appearance? But anyways. It is nice to see even though there are not really any music video outlets left there are still a few artists who are willing to make a big budget video. I wonder with the advent of YouTube and Video iTunes that we will see resurgence in the art form with the extra money they get from both.


You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do What You’re Told) - White Stripes



Speaking of let downs, I just sat waiting for something interesting to happen in this video. I guess the White Stripes have spoiled us with constantly giving us entertain videos. I’m sure if you ranked the top one hundred videos of this decade, the band would have five or so that would make the list. But this would be one of them.


Invasion - Eisley



Fun fact: The very first album review I ever did was for Room Noises by Eisley (see You Humor Me Today). Now the band has their second album, Combinations, coming out in two weeks and the accompanying first video continues their fondness of abstract videos. I’m not entirely sure what is going on, but the song is growing on me by the day.


Trapped in the Closet (13-22 Preview) - R. Kelly (Not safe for work or for anyone with a strong moral compass)



This summer has sucked massively. We are currently on our second heat wave of the year with barely enough rainfall to fill a swimming pool. I have spent the last couple weeks spending two four hour nights a week freezing in a classroom because some moron has the thermostat set at fifty degrees. Each major sport has dominated the headlines with scandal. But if there are two things that can turn this summer around one is the (albeit short) return of the Let’s Rob Mick Jagger Ray Ramono next week (Wednesday at 8:30 and 9:30). The other is shortly is that we will get a whopping nine more installments of the great thing ever conceived in the history of the entertainment industry: Trapped in the Closet. For those who missed chapters 1-12 (and if this is so we can’t be friends) above is a recap of the great hijacks and a quick sneak peak of what is to come. I know I can’t wait.


On a side note, this is the very last Don’t Download These Videos. No, I will still bring the most entertaining new music videos ever week it is just after twenty-five installments I have finally realized that the title Don’t Download These Videos could be construed to comment on the quality of the video not the Weird Al reference that it started out being almost a year ago. So be a look out as I unveil the new name sometimes soon.

My Home Is Your Home So Welcome to the Terrordome

Most people today when they hear the name Flavor Flav they think of a modern day minstrel show who dated Brigitte Nielsen, renamed a bunch of hood rats and embarrassed their mothers on cable television, and will soon be the latest roastee (not to be confused with the drunken Toasteee) in Comedy Central’s Roast of Flavor Flav, which hasn’t been all that funny in recent years. As hard is it to do so, I still try to remember Flav as the greatest hype man ever for the seminal rap group Public Enemy who album, Fear of a Black Planet, is this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame.

Public Enemy had a lot to live up to back at the beginning of the nineties. Their previous album, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back netted five million in sales, big numbers for a rap group back then. And the previous summer, Fight the Power, which is quite possibly the greatest rap song ever recorded, showed up on the Do the Right Thing Soundtrack (and also shows up as the last track on Fear of a Black Planet). Even though Flav told us not to believe the hype, this album definitely lived up to it.

Even though he is mostly known for getting the party started on stage, Flavor Flav showed on the album that he can indeed rap as 911 Is a Joke remains as one of the group’s best and Can’t Do Nottin’ for Ya Man isn’t that bad either. But it still remains the Chuck D show. And he had plenty in his crosshair on this album including the movie industry (Burn Hollywood Burn), the IRS (Who Stole the Soul?), people against inter-racial dating (the title track), the music industry (Leave this Off Your Fu*kin Charts) and most notable Elvis who, “never meant to be straight out racist) and of course in that same vain John Wayne.

Lost sometimes in the greatness of the rap group is the group responsible for producing the album, The Bomb Squad. They managed to mix multiple samples (something you will never see again thanks to new licensing laws) ranging from your typical funk grooves of James Brown to even the Beatles with the guitar solo from the end of Let’s Go Crazy thrown in for good measure and mashed them up into some of the best noise around, most of the time unable to make out the original sample unless you listen closely.

Fear of a Black Planet also earned the dubious title as being the first album ever that my parents banned me from listening to thanks to the “Parental Advisory” sticker on the cover. And since our lone CD player at the time was in the living room, it was easily enforced by them. Luckily there are friends out there with CD to tape converters and walkmans to get my PE fix during those years until finally getting a CD player of my own. But I wonder what my parents would say now that Fear of a Black Planet was chosen by the Library of Congress to be added to the National Recorded Registry.

Can’t Leave Rap Alone the Streets Need Me

For years Common was regarded as the greatest MC that no one was listening to. Then fellow Chicagoan Kanye West hit it big as a rapper and producer, signed Common to his GOOD Music record label an produced the majority of the 2005 Be which went on to be the best selling album in the rappers decade plus career netted him a Grammy for Rap Album of the Year. The formula is pretty much the same on the follow-up Finding Forever finds Common rapping about the streets, politics, and girls over radio friendly beats courtesy mostly by Kanye.

Like the last album, unlike almost every other rapper today, Common keeps songs with the “Featuring” songs to a minimum with West as the only guest rapper on the ode to Chicago Southside. The song is decent aside from the ill advised chorus and Common lets Kanye steal the show with his Back to the Future themed verse. But Common doesn’t let the most entertaining new artist in recent memory, Lily Allen, do the same on Drivin’ Me Wild thanks to Common being able to mention OK Go’s treadmill video and astronaut lady” in the same verse. The track continues Kanye’s embrace of more eclectic music (see his latest mixtape which features samples of Daft Punk, Tom York and Peter Bjorn and John) with Allen’s voice and a snare drum as the main instruments.

West also brought his A-game, and DJ Premier, for the old school standout track The Game where Common excels on the mike calling out the most obnoxious people on television today, those that appear on My Super Sweet Sixteen and later namedrops an actual achiever Akeelah. Here is a song that should be played in basement parties from years to come.

Much like the previous album, Finding Forever missteps when Common brings in Bilal and pulls D’Angelo from obscurity for his odes to women. And I’m not entirely sure if the Nina Simone sample on Misunderstood works or not. What did work was the drums from 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover on the album closer Forever Begins. But in the ends, as long as Kanye West is behind the boards, Common may be the first rapper that can still make credible music into his forties.

Song to Download - Drivin’ Me Wild (featuring Lily Allen)

Finding Forever gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Feed Your iPod vol. I: The Seed (2.0)

Mondays and Wednesdays have been rough on me because I have to spend four hours in class (then add an extra hour plus in the car getting there) so instead of not posting today here is something quick which may become a regular segment for when I don’t have time to write something of my usual length.

Being known as the music guy in my real life as well on the web, I on occasion have people tell me they just got an iPod but have nothing on it and ask what song they should buy to fill it up. Some regret as I go on and on with great songs that many people may have missed and that is the basis of the new segment here at the 9th Green, Feed Your iPod. Hopefully I am able to find a copy of the song so you can listen before you buy.

The inaugural song actually landed at number one on my list of the Best Songs of 2003, The Seed (2.0) by the Roots and Cody ChestnuTT. The Roots always have the best grooves but the great guitar riff is from ChestnuTT, who originally recorded a much more lo-fi version of his ode to a mistress who doesn’t practice safe sex. But once you take the original and add some great ?uestlove drums and solid rap from Black Though and you have an instant classic. Even ChestnuTT sounds more energized on 2.0. I reference the song whenever a conversation turns to baby names saying, “If Mary drops my baby girl tonight I will name her Rock n Roll” which usually leads to crickets chirping. So give a listen then if you are ever in my presence when I crack that joke you can give me a courtesy chuckle.

The Seed 2.0 - The Roots and Cody ChestnuTT



(For the unedited version of the song you can check out the Universal Music Group's YouTube version which of course they won't let people embed because they hate free advertising)

Got a song you think everyone should feed their iPods? Send me an e-mail (see sidebar) along with a short paragraph why people should download it and/or what it means to you. This segment is meant to highlight songs that may have slipped thought the cracks when released or maybe album tracks that should have been released as a single. So no Layla, Gin and Juice, or Crash into Me needed.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXIX

Greek: It is getting to be the most entertaining part of each episode is the blink and you miss it cameo of LonelyGirl15, Jessica Rose as a bumbling legacy. She is the biggest name on the show (which really doesn’t say much) and she has combined maybe a total of thirty seconds of screen time. For those who blinked, this week she was the only one out of step during the invitation dance then awkwardly grinded on some dude. The rest of the episode was not as entertaining. It would have been better if they gone cheesy sitcom and has Casey and Cappie go back and forth trying to find a better date. And I was a little disappointed that his roommate’s little virgin get together didn’t have any chicks for Rusty to hook up with, specially the frozen Asian chick from the mixer in the first episode. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.

Rescue Me: Much better episode this week as they look like they are going to start some new storylines as the first ones this season weren’t all that entertaining. The new Probie, err, the new Shawn, err, Shawn is definitely working out well but the real fireworks with Tommy look like they will happen next week. But the basketball scene was definitely hilarious. Although the ending with Leslie finding out Mike has two moms then burning down his house was just bizarre.

Lil’ Bush: Well that was a lackluster end to an otherwise lackluster season. Comedy Central may want to think about not having a second season or they may have to change their name to Moderately Funny Central. Download the entire first season of Lil’ Bush on iTunes.

Pirate Master: Well I was surprised it didn’t happen earlier but CBS finally pulled the plug on the show which has been relegated to its broadband channel, Innertube. I forgot all about it until I started this post but I may check that out tonight. I’d ask you all not to spoil me but I haven’t seen anyone talk about the show so there looks to be no need to.

Check out my First Impressions of I Hate My 30’s.

Pick of the Week: Shark Week, all week on the Discover Channel: As I have mentioned before, this week marks the twentieth anniversary of Shark Week starting today and running until August 4th. Here is a quick run down of some of the shows you can expect:

Ocean of Fear: Worst Shark Attack Ever, narrated by Richard Dreyfuss (July 29 8-10)
Deadly Stripes: Tiger Sharks (July 30, 9-10 PM)
Top 5 Eaten Alive (July 30, 10-11 PM)
Shark Feeding Frenzy (July 31, 9-10 PM)
Perfect Predators (August 1, 9-11 PM)
Shark Tribe (August 2, 9-10 PM
Sharks: A Family Affair (August 3, 9-10 PM)
Sharkman (August 4, 9-11 PM)

Also every day at 8 PM are the best of Shark Week’s past as voted on by fans at Discovery.com.

They're Gonna Pour Boxes of Bullets into Him

For anyone who has watched reality television in the last couple years and you will see just what some people would do to get their hands on a million dollars. Well imagine if someone put a million dollars on your head, or more specifically your heart. Well Vegas entertainer turned mobster turned snitch Buddy “Aces” Israel (Jeremy Piven) learned in the action packed Smokin' Aces. Well at least he would have known how that felt if he wasn’t self-quarantined in a penthouse in Tahoe with more than enough women, drugs, and bodyguards which includes Common.

Starting out just as clueless as Israel are the Feds (Ryan Reynolds, Ray Liotta) that are assigned to bring in the mobster in so he can testify against his former cohorts. It isn’t until they get to the hotel that the million dollar mark on Israel has brought out a wide array of hired assassins that have descended on the town hoping to collect the heart of the rat before he is able to tell is story. And what an array of hoodlums they are including a female duo (Alicia Keys, Taraji P. Henson) who come complete with the biggest gun despite being the smallest physically. Then there is a master of disguise that can transform himself into almost anyone and how he does it extremely creepy. Even creepier is the torture expert played by Nestor Carbonell who has a disturbing run-in with Lost co-star Matthew Fox in a wig as bad as the one from his mullet flashbacks.

But the grizzliest of the mercenaries are the Tremor Brothers, born of the same mother but all have different dads and even though there are numerous great elevator scenes throughout the movie, their exit out of it ranks the highest as they sport some unconventional weapons for assassins. The neo-Nazi brother also have a run in with a trio of bail bondsman (Ben Affleck, Peter Berg, Martin Henderson) who are hired by a lawyer (Jason Bateman) who like to wear things that most men don’t to retrieve the mob boss from skipping bail.

The action comes quick and frequently with just a few a few soft spots like when the grandmother and her little too excited grandson show up. And you couldn’t ask for much better cast than this, you know it is great when Piven is the weak link (he goes overboard a couple times). The big surprise is Keys who more than pulls off the female assassin role (although I’d still rather her stick to music) and Affleck who is much more palatable as a bit player than the leading man role he undeservingly gotten lately. And for a few laughs, check out the bloppers on the DVD to see just how bad of a pool player Affleck is.

Smokin' Aces gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

First Impressions: I Hate My 30's

Two decades ago there was a show called Thirtysomething that followed a bunch of couples as they built and raised their families. But a lot has changed in those twenty years since as more and more people or waiting well into their thirties to settle down and start a family. Seeing that trend, the network that brought you Flavor of Love, Hogan Knows Best and I Love the (Insert Decade) is getting into the scripted business (well that’s not to say Scott Baio Is 45… and Single isn’t completely scripted, but anyways) with I Hate My 30’s.

Now network television has aired some extremely unfunny sitcoms in recent years like Emily’s Reasons Why Not, Four Kings, the upcoming Cavemen and Two and a Half Men, but none of them are as bad as I Hate My 30’s. The show centers on an office where everyone just happens to be in their early thirties and single aside from your token punk-ish twenty-something secretary and for some reason there is also a friend of what I think is the mail boy who for some reason pops up. And the narrator is named Dr. Rod (no, seriously, that is what they call him) who works at a coffee shop that is sadly more Starbucks than Central Perk.

It is doubtful that you will recognize any of the actors, which tells you something about the quality of acting considering they are playing thirty yet this is their first big gig, aside from the vain token hot chick in the office played by Jill Ritchie, who has an older brother named Bob (you may know him better as Kid Rock) and you may actually remember her from her stint as the Bluth’s publish on Arrested Development. But the first episode centers on Megahn Perry, who you may or may not remember from her one episode guest spot on Sabrina the Teenage Witch as her co-worker plan her thirtieth birthday party and hilarity doesn’t ensue.

Verdict: This show sucks massively. In fact, if you are in your thirties you may want to consider suing for defamation of character. If for some reason you still want to watch the show, I Hate My 30’s airs Thursday at 10:30 on VH1 and you can download it on iTunes (where you can get the first episode for free).

Old Folks Talking 'bout Back in My Day

Today I had planned to give a preview of I Hate My 30’s (which debuts tonight at 10:30 on VH1 or download it for free on iTunes), but we interrupted the regularly sheculed post for this very important video that you must watch:




Kanye West has been known for making multiple videos for the same song, this time he commissioned comedian Zach Galifianakis to make another video for the first single Can’t Tell Me Nothing from the upcoming album Graduation. And how can you better fully visualize a rap video than to film at Galifianakis’ North Carolina farm. I’m not sure why no one has utilized this idea since “Weird Al” Yankovic combined the two for Amish Paradise (and the up-close profile view with his buddy looks like the original Gangstas Paradise). And if Zach doing farm work wasn’t enough, the best part is the cloggers in the blue dresses. Of course this isn’t Galifianakis’ first foray into lip-syncing as he popped up in Fiona Apple’s Not About Love (so for those keeping track at home, Kanye has stolen Fiona’s producer and video director, she may want to keep a close eye on her hairdresser) which landed at number five on my list of the Best Videos of 2006 which I added below as well as Amish Paradise because, well I can:

The Discover Channel: Press Releases

A couple weeks ago I posted a press release about Shark Week on The Discovery Channel (see here, near the bottom) which starts up next week, goiung from July 29 to August 4. Below is one of the pictures from the event:




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Also coming soon to The Discovery Channel is the return of Meerkat Manor, here's a press release:


ANIMAL PLANET’S MEERKAT MANOR RETURNS AUGUST 10; WILL FLOWER STAY IN POWER, WILL MOZART LAND HER MAN AND WILL CARLOS’ SLEAZY ANTICS GET HIM IN TROUBLE...AGAIN?

-- Families of Meerkats Return Friday, August 10, for a Sizzling New Season of Love, Lust, Treachery and Drama as Colorful Characters of the Kalahari Fight for Survival in the Desert --

When we last left off…
It wasn’t too long ago that the Whiskers meerkat family was embroiled in a fierce battle against their biggest rivals, the Commandos. Last we saw the Whiskers, Mozart’s pups had been killed by the Commandos during a burrow raid, and the Whiskers were facing a long harsh winter.

Which brings us to the present-day Kalahari Desert…
Now, kicked out of their home, Flower, the matriarch of the Whiskers clan, must lead her brood through a perilous journey to mark and settle into their new manor, survive the weather and stave off the threat of predation. The Whiskers must face new rivalry posed by their neighbors from hell, the Zappa gang, and Flower is determined to lead her brood to victory no matter what it takes! And, the plot thickens when the fighting persists within the Whiskers’ own inner circle. Ever the dysfunctional family, the Whiskers find themselves involved in confrontation, control, love affairs and more drama than ever! With daughters sleeping around and sisters fighting over the same main man, it’s no wonder that it’s a slippery slope surviving desert life. Fans will see who lives, who dies and which ‘kat winds up as top dog.

2-2-2
Each Friday night during the sizzling 13-episode season of MEERKAT MANOR, pop in for fur pulling, conflict, romantic tension and cut-throat competition. The Whiskers soap opera unfolds Fridays at 8:30 PM ET/PT beginning August 10. For a sneak peek of the premiere episode, viewers can virtually visit the meerkats online at http://animal.discovery.com/ for one full week beginning August 3.

About the ‘Kats…
Standing tall at on only one foot high, the meerkat is a small member of the mongoose family that thrives in one of the driest places on Earth – the Kalahari Desert. On the surface, the meerkats seem like adorable creatures, but do their cute façades mask their true colors? These highly social creatures are precocious and tough enough to send a cape cobra slinking into a hole.

About Meerkat Manor…
MEERKAT MANOR is produced for Animal Planet International by Oxford Scientific Films (OSF). Caroline Hawkins is the executive producer for OSF. Mick Kaczorowski is the executive producer for Animal Planet U.S.

I Know U Hear Me Like a Whisper in Ur Ear

Many artists like to say it is all about the music all the while charging three digest to their concerts and licensing their music for even the most inane products. Then there is Prince who, ever since ending his long time battle with label Warner Bros, has been the most progressive artist in getting his music out including giving copies of his latest albums out to anyone who buys a ticket to his concerts, which are reasonably priced when his contemporaries are charging obscene prices. His latest attempt to get his music out came when he struck a deal with British paper The Mail who attacked Prince’s latest album, Planet Earth, to one of its editions last week.

Naturally Columbia Records, who is handling the world wide distribution of the album wasn’t too thrilled and decided not to release the album in England. Not like Prince cares because all he wants is for people to hear the music. And ever since changing his name back from an unpronounceable symbol, there has been some great music including the grove of Musicology, the funk of Black Sweat, and even his contribution to the Happy Feet Soundtrack was pretty catchy.

And that is what makes Planet Earth so disappointing. Certainly other artist would like to produce an album this good a year away from their thirtieth anniversary in music, but considering his recent work, this album falls flat. And that is even with the Purple One bring back past collaborators Shelia E., a few members from the New Power Generation, and Wendy and Lisa (no word on if Diamond and/or Pearl will show up in a video from the album). Although Planet Earth is still better than his nineties, symbol era.

The album opens and closes with Prince’s thoughts on current hop button topics including the fragile Earth on the title track and war on Resolution that aren’t good enough to convert people to his cause. And that is not because Prince is like many musicians like Sum 41 or Maroon 5 that have jumped on political bandwagon in recent years because everyone else is as Prince has made some of the best socially conscious songs like the classics Sign O the Times and Money Don’t Matter 2Night or the more recent Cinnamon Girl. It just the new songs won’t be added to that list anytime soon.

Prince does some retreading on the album too. The One U Wanna C might as well have been called I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man 2 complete with the line like, “you ain’t no one night stand” but this could end up bringing down the house when performed live. What won’t though is Mr. Goodnight where he bring back half rap, half talk come on’s like Gett Off but they just aren’t as good now that Prince has gone and found religion, so no talk of Almond Joys instead he just wants to watch Chocolat. Yawn.

Again, that is not to say the album is bad, it is just not Prince good. Guitar shows he can still handle the ax and will make you thank someone that Prince hasn’t found someone he loves more than his guitar yet, though still not as blistering as anything from Purple Rain, or his solo from While My Guitar Gently Weeps from the year he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Somewhere Here on Earth has a cool jazzy feel to it thanks to some well placed trumpet and would be best played in a smoky club. Hopefully Planet Earth is just a test run for something classic that Prince will unveil for his thirtieth anniversary next year.

Song to Download - Guitar

Planet Earth gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

First Impressions: Scott Baio Is 45... and Single

After the conclusion of the first season of The Osbornes I have avoided the follow around has beens on their day to day lives at all cost. Yet seeing the commercial for Scott Baio is 45… and Single that VH1 put into regular rotation for what seems for over a month made the show seem disturbingly entertaining. So with my tail between my legs I decided to check it out against my best judgment. The show is exactly what you would expect from the ads with a very out of touch, narcissistic, has been who gets a life coach to help him figure out why he has commitment issues.

The first episode is an hour long mostly because it takes a while for Chachi to list all his famous conquests which he is happy to repeat a couple times to anyone and everyone. Of course, even though his life coach is sending him to see past girlfriends, don’t expect him to visit any of the ones that still can get acting jobs. So instead we get Charles visiting former Happy Days co-star Joanie who will apparently be followed by in future weeks by a laundry list of chicks that posed naked in different magazines. Oh, and Nicole Eggert.

Despite all that, the show is almost entertaining in an it is totally scripted and the scenes are staged kind of way. C’mon, the cameras just happen to be inside when Bob Loblaw shows up. But my favorite “reality” moment is when his agent wants to have a private conversation yet there is still sound when they talk as the camerman shoots threw the blinds The Office style. And this was after his coincidental run in with Clint Howard. I guess Richie was too busy. Then there is Baio’s Entourage (and yes I capitalized that for a reason) which just so happens to include Kevin Arnold’s older brother. What, you couldn’t get Willie Aames? Well at least he got in a call to Fonzie.

Verdict: Luckily now that all of Chachi’s name dropping is out of the way, the show gets cut down to the more digestible half an hour. Even then I’m not sure if I could stomach a whole season, but I have to at least stick around until the Eggert appearance as she was one of my earliest crushes. Scott Baio s 45… and Single airs Sundays at 10:30 on VH1 and, since it is VH1, will most likely be repeated constantly throughout the week. You can also download the first episode for free on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XXVIII

Before I talk about the past week of television I have a favor to ask you, my readers. To better understand you my audience, I have wanted to create a survey so I can make the 9th Green a better experience for all. As luck would have it, this past week Mike from Quibblo.com sent me an e-mail about his site that allows you to create surveys, polls, and quizzes. So I created a survey, The 9th Green Readers Poll, and if you subscribe to this blog or just stop by a couple times a month, please take a minute or two to fill it out and thanks to Mike for the heads up on his site and to anyone who takes the survey.

Big News of the Week: The Emmy Nominations Are Announced: Yawn.

Greek: The good news on the second episode, there was nothing as boring as the second half of the premiere. The bad news: there was nothing as interesting as the first half of last week. But I’ll continue to watch if only the sorority president is what I like to refer to as moderately attractive. Plus Casey and her new Little Sis trying to out Mean Girls each other could prove to be highly entertaining. And does anyone want to take the over/under on when it comes out that Calvin is a gay homosexual? I’ll set the line at half way through the first season. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.

Pirate Master: Leave it to Pirate Master to come up with a cool twist, bringing back the Ghost Pirates, only to have it completely ruined. C’mon, you have the chance to avenge being cut adrift and you let the scientist/exotic dancer lose the key. With the amount of Alpha Males on the team, how do you let him handle the key at all? So instead of a major shake up we get yet another week of the creepy dreadlocked dude and his cronies leading. One would expect something major happening next week because if not they will have more people with black spots at pirate court then people voting, but this is Pirate Master so expect them to do the wrong thing.

Rescue Me: I am beginning to think the show has hit the wall this season. Most of the storylines have fallen flat this year with the most entertaining with the fraud ended abruptly. Maybe the second wind is coming when the new Probie the new Shawn enters the house whose no grunt work clause with undoubtedly cause friction with Tommy and certainly Old Shawn won’t be too happy. And as much as I rather still have the old chief, the new chief definitely had an entertain introduction, should be interesting to see how his dinner goes.

Lil’ Bush: Finally something funny on this show when Satan says they write all the music for the American Karaokers. Although you have to wonder why all the cartoons on Comedy Central portray the Dark Lord as a gay dude. Download the current season of Lil’ Bush on iTunes.

World Series of Pop Culture: I seem people talk ad nausea about this show and I left some comments showing my feeling for the show so I am going to talk about what I think of the show here and that will be the last time I talk of this show (at least until next year). I do not watch it because the World Series of Pop Culture is a complete and utter sham because they did not invite me to participate because I could totally win that tournament on my own. In the very few times I have happened upon the show I have yet not gotten a question wrong before inevitably switching the channel out of frustration of how much I would destroy the current contestants. Although I will concede that the one tiebreaker I saw - something like there have been ten winners of the Best Supporting Actors in the past fifteen years, name them - which was insanely hard, but it is not like I would ever have the need for a tiebreaker anyways. So VH1, if you want that show to have any once of credibility, be sure to invite me next year.

Pick of the Week: I Hate My 30’s, Thursday, 10:30, VH1: Ever since unrolled I Love the 80’s I have been clamoring for them to do an I Hate the 80’s version. So I was excited to hear the start of I Hate the 30’s so I could hear Hal Sparks and the dude from Ed rip apart those annoying Flappers and wax poetic about The Great Depression. Well that was until I realized it is not I Hate the 30’s but instead I Hate My 30’s, a scripted show. Color me less excited. If you cannot wait until Thursday you can download the first episode for free on iTunes.

Record People Are Shady IX

When scouring the internet for yesterday’s Don’t Download These Videos I planned to show the video for Bubbly by newcomer Colbie Caillat to once again remind you that you can currently download this song for free on iTunes (well as long as the ad to the right still features her) but I couldn’t because, much like all their videos, the Universal Group has chosen the “Embedded Disable by Request.” I have never understood why anyone would utilize that function because it seems like people are saying, “I want you to check this out but please no free publicity.” If you ever check out YouTube’s most viewed videos for the day, if there is a fan loaded videos of the same music video it is always higher than those put up by UMG that don’t let you embed them. Well this is of course before UMG inevitably has YouTube remove the fan uploaded versions.

Of course I’m sure if you were to ask the record executives why they do this they go back to their usual defense is that doing so would hurt record sales. Yeah because I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that decided not to buy a song or record because a very low quality version of the video it is readily available on some dudes MySpace page. What is really bad is that it not at all hard to get around the “Embedded Disable by Request” thing. Granted I just choose not to do so with these music videos because I make a note not to piss off anyone who is litigation happy. So here is my plea to the UMG, please allow your videos to be embedded, not only will this not hurt your record sales; the more visibility of your music videos will undoubtedly increase sales.

Ms. Caillet’s video isn’t the only video recently that I haven’t been able to highlight because of the dreaded “Embedded Disable by Request” thing. High on the list is the video for Ryan Adam’s Halloweenhead that could have become a viral hit with quirky lyrics and old people dancing but lost that chance thanks to the similarly Walk it Out mash-up the floated around the web last week. UMG, you could have had that buzz with Halloweenhead, which came out earlier, but no on saw because people couldn’t be spread around the web because we couldn’t embed it.

Then there is the new Katharine McPhee song Love Story, which I declared the best song from her otherwise lackluster album. Again here is another song that has gotten zero buzz because UMG won’t let use feature it on out blogs. Granted I wanted to show this video so I could talk about how the further into obscurity McPhee falls, the less cloths she wear. Unfortunately she isn’t attractive enough to make the whole sex sells thing to work. Case in point, she is relegated to the cover of the third rate Men’s magazine Stuff the same month the sometimes moderately attractive Hilary Duff gets the cover of Maxim.

So for those of you that aren’t too lazy to click links here are the previously mentioned videos on YouTube that I am not allowed to embed:

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat (or download the Bubbly video on iTunes)

Halloweenhead (NSFW) - Ryan Adams (or download the Halloweenhead video on iTunes)

Love Story - Katharine McPhee (or download the Love Story video on iTunes)


On a completely unrelated not, to better understand you my audience, I have wanted to create a survey so I can make the 9th Green a better experience for all. As luck would have it, this past week Mike from Quibblo.com sent me an e-mail about his site that allows you to create surveys, polls, and quizzes. So I created a survey, The 9th Green Readers Poll, and if you subscribe to this blog or just stop by a couple times a month, please take a minute or two to fill it out and thanks to Mike for the heads up on his site.

Don't Download These Videos vol. XXIV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


The Underdog - Spoon



This song from Spoon is quite possibly my favorite song of the moment. And the video is so inane with its gratuitous mariachi band cameo and surprise ending it is worth watching again.


Shut Your Eyes - Snow Patrol



I believe this is the fourth video Snow Patrol has released in the past months and almost made a video of all the songs from their latest album. Yet for some reason the one single they haven’t released was my favorite from the disk, Make This Go On Forever. Oh well. Of course maybe they are filming it as I type this.


Rehab - Amy Winehouse featuring Jay-Z



This isn’t the official video for the remix of the Amy Winehouse instant classic as you can tell from the obvious video clips of Jay-Z’s old videos and some sincing problems during Amy’s part but I wanted to highlight it just show you reason number 14 why Jat should have stayed retired. Seriously Hova, “I’m gonna OD until I’m at peace like Anna Nicole,” that makes your verse on Rihanna’s song sound like Blueprint era you.


Garbage - Tell Me Where it Hurts



Garbage releases their greatest hits package next week and like many bands before them they felt obligated to throw on new tracks that really don’t deserve the moniker “Greatest.” The only new song that I can think of that actually deserved to be on a Greatest Hits album would be Mary Jane’s Last Dance. But anyways. Back to the video, what’s sad that, even if it wasn’t their intention here, but whenever anyone shoots anything with a night vision camera, everyone will instantly start thinking of Paris Hilton (who I here is working on a new album, sorry kids with cancer she promised to help when she was done with jail, you will have to wait). And even if the song doesn’t really deserve to be on a greatest hits package, this song is still catchy.