My First Album Had No Famous Guest Appearances, the Outcome: I'm Crowned the Best Lyricist

We live in an era of overnight success. Since the nineties, record labels have put millions of dollars launching new artists making it hard not to get at least one minor hit with enough promotion. Back in the day, even some of the biggest stars took a while to hit; Bruce Springsteen did not have a top fifty album or top one hundred single until his third album. Billy Joel’s first album did not even crack the top one hundred. Even Prince needed five albums to hit the top ten on either Billboard chart.

Even though we live in an era of instant fame, most of those overnight successes are lucky to have more than two good songs on their debut albums. It is very rarely that any artist comes out the gates with a five mic album but Nas did that with Illmatic, this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. In a time when rap was moving to the west coast, Nas reminded everyone where the genre was birthed bringing the focas back to the east coast with the help of Wu-Tang Clan and The Notorious B.I.G..

Ten tracks, not a weak or skipable one among them or even a misplaced lyric in the forty minutes. Illmatic is one of the rare albums you ripped to your computer as a whole in a time before iTunes. Nas had the laid back delivery of A Tribe Called Quest with the street knowledge of KRS-One. And the production was on point, from Gang Starr’s DJ Premiere on New York State of Mind (which has been gone on to be sampled more times to count) to the Human Nature sampling It Ain’t Hard to Tell.

After Illmatic, Nas spent the next twenty years chasing the next classic. He created some better songs like If I Ruled the World and came close with Stilmatic but never a finer album he created than Illmatic. But of course his debut is one of the best in history, not just rap but of all music.

I Wanna Be the Guy Who Breaks All the Rules

Before Mumford and Sons ushered in the folk rock earlier this decade, Ray LaMontagne was having modest success with his straight from a log cabin in New Hampshire esthetic. And he managed to find that success with minimal promotion. It seemed like Ray would release an album, go on tour, perform on the occasional late night talk show, and then go back to the woodland of New Hampshire until the next album. The only other promotion I have ever seen him do was VH1 Storytellers during his last album cycle.

For his fourth album, it seems like Lamontagne is gunning for the mainstream as he just released his first music video and brought in a big name producer for Supernova in Dan Aurbach who won the Producer of the Year, Non-Classical Grammy last year (if 2013 was the year of Pharrell, hopefully 2014 turns into the year of Auebach between this, Lana Del Rey, and his own The Black Keys album). The first single and title track was his poppiest song to date. But the thing is, it is pop in seventy’s pop rock radio from the seventies kind of was. It sounds like it would fit in between Steve Miller Band and Bob Seger on seventies AM radio, not between Adele and The Lumineers today. Ojai follows that trend sounding like it was heavily influenced by Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Lodi.

As a whole Supernova is Ray’s weirdest album to date. Sure there are those seventies pop rock ditties, but he also goes psychedelic many other tracks. The album opens with Lavender which sounds like something out of Haight-Ashbury in the late sixties. And that hippie vive continues on songs like Airwaves, Pick Up Gun, and No Other Way with its lyrics about flowers will inspire images of the ultimate hippie ode: San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers In Your Hair) while Smashing sounds like less adventurous Syd Barrett era Pink Floyd.

But the best track on Supernova is probably the most contemporary. She’s the One is a pure modern day rock song which sounds like what it may sound like if Ray did front The Black Keys as a trio. The song has the same dirty blues the duo is known for and it goes really well with Ray’s gritty voice. The closest Lamontagne gets to his folk rock is Drive-In Movies which closes out the album, and just like the subject, it is hard to reminiscence over his old sound after sitting through a mostly psychedelic album.

Song to Download – She's the One

Supernova gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television: 4/29/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Sheezus – Lily Allen


Lily Allen’s new song is cool in a M.I.A. kind of way with a freaky music video, but Lily, no one wants to hear about your period. No one.


Marilyn Monroe - Pharrell Williams


Oh Pharrell, the hat was a good way to grab attention at the Grammy’s, but after you sold it to Arby’s, that should have been it, going with different colors of the same hat is being to be a bad look. And what is with the random Kelly Osbourne sighting in the video?


First Things First – Neon Trees


I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the latest Neon Trees album as a whole. First Things First did not stand out when I listened to it in the context of the album, but now hearing it outside the context of the album, I like it much more than the other singles released from it. Plus the video does a really god job creating a connection with the band.


Hello Kitty - Avril Lavigne


Just last week I was mentioning that if something if someone claims something is not racist, I am inclined to go into it assuming that it is racist. Avril Lavigne set off an internet firestorm with accusations of racism with her new video so much that it was actually pulled for a short time. Stupidly someone put it back up, not because it is overtly racist (she is not doing anything that Gwen Stefani did a decade ago for a whole album cycle) but because the video, racist or not, and song may be the most embarrassing someone posted this year.

Previewing Fish Tank Kings: Season Two

In a bit of synergy, Caesar Millan will be appearing on the new season of Fish Tank Kings when he commissions Living Color to build something at his Dog Psychology Center. But Caesar does not want them to build a tank; he wants them to build a pond… in the desert. Yep, Caesar wants an aquatic oasis koi pond with no viable water source for miles. How the Kings find water dates back long before you would think technology would come up with a better technique.

Caesar does not show up until the May 12 episode but before then there are a couple more jobs that the Fish Tank Kings are tasked to do that they have never done before. Tonight’s premiere features a guy who wants the Kings to build the largest private aquarium they have ever done. Oh, and he wants it done on the second floor office space. And he wants sharks.

Also this season, fish expert Francis heads to the frigid waters off the coast of Vancouver for an octopus while the boys back home have to design an aquarium to make sure the octopus, an animal that likes to hide in cracks and crevices, can be seen at all times for the new Rosamond Gifford Zoo exhibit. Another client wants crystal instead of coral in his fish tank which causes some problems because the coral is usually where they hide the filtration system. The Kings also try to design a tank so elaborate it will trick the client into thinking the whole house was built around it.


Fish Tank Kings airs Mondays at 9:00 on Nat Geo Wild.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/27/14

Orphan Black: (Please not this is a review of last week's episode) I watched the first season over the course of about a week last summer and it is always a little weird when you switch from marathoning to weekly watching. I was ready to watch a new episode the next day but alas, that is not an option when you watch it like. I need my soccer mom fix. Much like the first season, Alison stole the premiere with the three most entertaining scenes: using her mace and rape whistle, her community theater production, and getting a piece for Sarah (and how she delivered it to her).
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: So Cora orchestrated her daughter to be married to a dude she used to be engaged to? Eww. Maybe that séance should have taken place on Springer. And I am starting to think the Wicked Witch’s spell is going to succeed, just not the way she wants. I predicted that they will go back far enough to save Neil, but not far enough for the Wicked Witch to kill Snow White’s mother.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Last week it seemed like Don was still on his indefinite hiatus but the partners make it seem that he was fired but still on the payroll. Are they keeping him around just to keep him from going anywhere else? And just when you thought Don’s life could not get any more depressing, he gets fully dressed at 8:00 just to meet with his secretary who he has spying for him.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: Ever since it was hinted that the kidnappers had an overall noble endgame (show the CIA’s evil super-soldier program) I figured it was only a matter of time before they would team up with the FBI. I am guessing the ending is the start of that where they help each other out and slowly turn the CIA into the bad guys.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

The Voice: Yep, I am pretty much done with this season. Hopefully they find some actual interesting singers next season. But as the last three seasons have played out, I get the sence the show is not interested in those types of singers anymore.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

The Blacklist: After he promos, I was expecting a better fight between Mr. and Mrs. Keen than that. You could even see Tom check himself whe hitting Lizzie with the chair.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: When agent Ward turned heel, I had a sinking suspicion that he would eventually turn out to be a triple agent and he just stunned Agent Hand and all the others he “killed.” That I getting less likely after wiping the blood of Agent Koenig from his strangling wire. But why bring in Patton Oswaltt only to kill him a week later. Oh well, at least next week has Robin Scherbatsky!
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: After teasing it about a month ago, we finally learned what “special powers” the new Idol has and it is extremely stupid. Basically Tony can play the Idol even after the votes are read. Now we know Tony will not be voted off because he calls pull out his Idol even after the votes have been read ruining all suspense. At least with the regular Idol there is the suspense of will someone use it or not, if they give it away, will they give it to the right person, a lot of different scenarios. Now we know if Tony is targeted, he is safe no matter what. This is so stupid. They have rolled out plenty of stupid ideas on Survivor, but "Special Idol" may overtake Redemption Island as dumbest of all.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Yeah, communist going to church went about as well as I expected it to. But I did not think Philip actually went to the church to actually beat up the minister, I thought he was just going to steal the money back. But the minister calling him out for his anger issues actually worked.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Bad Teacher: Dick Casablancas, Antoine Meriwether, and Dr. Dre deserved better than this.
You can download Bad Teacher on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I stopped watching The Real World circa Las Vegas, the first one, but I do listen to Grantland’s The Right Reason’s podcast so I had high hopes for “Hurricane” Nia. Unfortunately she was not even a high wind warning. Even during the After Show she seemed like the normal one next to Jasmine. This has to be the biggest bust since Jamarcus Russell. At least she gave us a good quote on her way out, “You don’t go for 85 minutes and not wimp out. That is over an hour and a half.”
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: This is the best looking show on television, but that whole home invasion scene just came off as clunky, it just never felt very well paced. The season itself has seemed to hit a lull after Will was released from prison and now we wait until Jack confronts Hannibal from the season premiere flash forward.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 4/26/14

Quote of the Week: She has plans, look at her calendar: February 14: (expletive deleted) gloomily. (Michael Ginsberg, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: Love You Like a Love Song - Selena Gomez and the Scene (Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:

Big News of the Week: WEIRD AL IS CAREFULLY WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS AND ISN’T ENTIRELY SURE WHAT HE’S DOING AFTER HIS NEXT ALBUM!: The internet seems to be like the telephone game from childhood, after reported a couple times, the story gets a little distorted. Last week a headline read, “WEIRD AL SAYS HIS NEXT ALBUM WILL BE HIS LAST!” Expect it is not (barring him being dismembered in a freak accident). In a humorous blog post, Al clarified… well his fake headline which I co-opted above explains it fairly well. His post also mentioned he is halfway done with his next album and if he is dismembered in a freak accident tomorrow, it would make a nice final EP. It is about time, I have been waiting for a Call Me Maybe parody for two years now. Add that to Royals, Somebody That I Used to Know, Ho Hey, We Are Young, he should have plenty material to get his album finished quickly before any freak accidents may happen. And hopefully after that album is delivered, he can finally start releasing parodies straight to the internet right when the songs are still hot, not waiting until he has enough to fill out an album. In a perfect world, there is no reason why we cannot be enjoying a Happy within the week.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Yousaf” The Americans, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Avant Gardener - Courtney Barnett (Amazon MP3)

New Album Release of the Week: Supernova - Ray Lamontange

New DVD Release of the Week: Hill Street Blues: The Complete Series

Video of the Week: TNT released its first full trailer for the fourth season of Falling Skies. It heavily features a striking new blonde chick who it seems by the final scene is Tom’s daughter who started last season as a baby and finished as a tween. Yeah, she is not ominous or anything.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The iHeartRadio Music Awards, Thursday at 8:00 on NBC: CBS has the Grammy’s, ABC has the Billboard and American Music Awards, NBC is finally getting into the music awards game this week with the first annual iHeartRadio Music Awards. Unfortunately since it is based on radio, the music being honored is not that interesting. Case in point, up for Artist of the Year are Rihanna, Maroon 5, Justin Timberlake, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, and Imagine Dragons. The performers include Drake, Pharrell, Blake Shelton, Kendrick Lamar, Pitbull, Shakira, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Ariana Grande, Luke Bryan, Arcade Fire, and Ed Sheeran. This looks like it could be the Billboard or AMA’s. Yawn, the CBS comedies may be better alternative.

Around the Tubes:4/25/14

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Don Peyote, Crossbones, Dominion, Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge, Florida Untamed, The ’90s: The Last Great Decade?, The Who, Beautiful Small Machines, The Gospel of Jesus’S Wife, and Sullivan and Son.

- Don Peyote, available on VOD and iTunes: May 9, 2014, is about a midlife crisis over his upcoming wedding sends 32-year-old unemployed stoner Warren Allman on the drug trip of a lifetime in this off-the-wall comedy starring Dan Fogler, Josh Duhamel, Jay Baruchel and a host of celebrity cameos. Fueled by vivid apocalyptic dreams, Warren becomes obsessed with Doomsday theories and decides to make a documentary on the subject while his fiancé is busy planning their wedding. Check out the trailer below:


- Think you know the legend of Blackbeard? Think again. John Malkovich stars as the infamous pirate in Crossbones, premiering Friday, May 30 at 10:00. Check out the official trailer below before we embark on an extraordinary adventure this summer.


- Heaven brings hell on earth! Watch the series premiere of Dominion June 19 at 9:00.


- Please note that effective Tuesday, April 29, new episodes of Syfy’s original series Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge will air at 9:00. (The series currently airs Tuesday at 10:00). In the April 29 episode, the creature designers must design and build a creature that camouflages itself in plain sight within a swamp. Creature Shop Fabrication Supervisor Julie Zobel serves as master in the episode. Acclaimed creature designer Neville Page of Syfy’s Face Off serves as the guest judge.

- Just beyond the theme parks, poolside resorts and sunny beaches of Florida lie ruthless predators hungry for a kill. The swamps are no playground for most animals living there, including American crocodiles, alligators, Burmese pythons, sea turtles and rattlesnakes. They’re a fierce paradise where any moment could be the animals’ last. Witness the dramas unfold as Nat Geo Wild and 2C Media journey through a labyrinth of ancient cypress swamps and crowded shores, capturing miraculous sights that never cease to amaze. It’s treacherous; it’s venomous; it’s Florida Untamed Sunday at 8:00.

- National Geographic Channels announced this week that Rob Lowe will return to the network as narrator of the three-night summer miniseries event The ’90s: The Last Great Decade?. No stranger to NGC, Lowe starred as President John F. Kennedy in last fall’s critically acclaimed Killing Kennedy, the network’s most-watched program ever and for which he received a 2013 Screen Actors Guild Awards nomination, and served as narrator for The ’80s: The Decade That Made Us last spring. Lowe will be the viewer’s guide through the program, the first definitive examination of the era of White House interns, grunge, overalls and Viagra.

- In 2012/2013, The Who embarked on the Quadrophenia and More Tour, performing their landmark rock opera in its entirety, marking the 40th anniversary of the original 1973 release of this double-album masterpiece. The critically acclaimed and highly successful tour closed at London’s Wembley Arena, with the cameras rolling, to record the closing night of this historic anniversary tour. Filmed on July 8, 2013, Quadrophenia: Live In London features The Who in peak form, performing Quadrophenia from front to back, in its entirety, plus a special set of some of their all-time greatest hits. The film captures the band’s dynamic performance in front of their hometown crowd and features blistering performances of “The Real Me,” “The Punk And The Godfather,” “Doctor Jimmy” and a powerful performance of “Love Reign O’er Me.” With HD screen backdrops, archival footage and today’s advanced technology in sound, Quadrophenia: Live In London reunites The Who with bandmates John Entwistle, for “5:15,” and Keith Moon for his signature song “Bell Boy.” In addition to their performance of Quadrophenia, the band tear through classic tracks such as “Pinball Wizard,“ “Who Are You,” “You Better You Bet,” “Baba O’Riley,” “Won’t Get Fooled Again” and “Tea & Theatre,” from their 2006 release Endless Wire,” with the intensity and power only The Who can conjure.

- NYC-based “electro twang” duo, Beautiful Small Machines, releases brand new LP, The DJ Stayed Home. In this follow-up release to the band’s debut EP, Robots in Love, their Blondie-meets-Arcade Fire sound connects with what Collected Sounds Blog describes as “a bit like Grandaddy, The Postal Service and The Tings Tings forming a super band.” Other notable influences include: Duran Duran, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Elvis Costello, Patti Smith, Wilco, The Rolling Stones and 80s pop music. Take a listen to the title track belw:



- In the wake of scientific results indicating that the text fragment, known as the Gospel of Jesus’s Wife, is authentically ancient and not a modern fake, Smithsonian Channel will premiere the full, definitive story of the ground-breaking fragment’s discovery and expert analysis of what it means. The one-hour special, The Gospel of Jesus’S Wife, debuts Monday, May 5 at 8:00.

- Kunal Nayyar (The Big Bang Theory), Ken Jeong (The Hangover movies, Community) and Billy Gardell (Mike & Molly) are set to return to TBS's hit original series Sullivan and Son during the show's upcoming third season premiering in June. Last year marked the first appearances on the show for Nayyar and Jeong. Gardell has appeared in both previous seasons.

Feed Your iPod LXXXIII: Shelter

Ray LaMontagne has a new album coming out next week and in an era of instant stardom; he is one of the few artists this century that has been able to build his fanbase steadily through the years. His earliest work got modest play on public radio and by his third album he started getting into heavy rotation on adult contemporary stations. For those that got into Ray late, the song off his first album they are most likely to know is Trouble thanks to a doggie themed commercial from a couple years ago. If there is only one song off his first album you know, be sure to also check out Shelter, another emotionally charged folk ballad from the singer.

Shelter – Ray Lamontage

They’ve Been Telling Me to Come of Age, I’ve Been Going Through an Awkward Phase

There comes a time in every guy’s life when a friend announces to you that they are gay. Then you have to decide whether you should be honored that he trusts you with something so personal or slap then upside the head for not coming out earlier because you pretty much already knew because he had done everything to convey he was gay except actually hit on you (then there is the uncomfortable situation of deciding if you should be relieved or offended they never hit on you). That was what was going through my head when the lead singer of Neon Trees Tyler Glenn recently came out as gay in Rolling Stone. Seriously dude, I think pretty much everyone already assumed that because you did everything short of making out with dudes in your videos. I would have been much more surprised if he announced his engagement to his female drummer.

Neon Trees were creative in the wake of The Killers, both with ties to Las Vegas playing pop rock, new wave infused music with a modern twist. For their second album, The Killers decided they want to be more rock than pop and tried to write Bruce Springsteen epics. Neon Trees went the other way going further down the new wave rabbit whole. Forget that the first two tracks off the their third album have titles like Love in the 21st Century and Text Me in the Morning, as you can tell from the album cover, Pop Psychology is straight out of the early eighties.

The first two Neon Trees albums followed the template, one extremely catchy first single, a couple good songs, and a bunch of filler. They have two multiplatinum songs and two albums that have even gone gold. Pop Psychology breaks that trend. But not in a good way. Those two previously mentioned songs with embarrassing titles go right up the cheesy like then leaps right by it. Sleeping with a Friend is the first single and best hope to catch lightning three times, but only ends up being mildly catchy and easily forgettable.

As overtly cheesy the first couple songs are, things do get a little more interesting in the second half starting with Unavoidable. The song is dreamy a duet with female where the syths finally get toned down. This song probably could have been a radio hit back into 1983, but thirty-one years later it probably too boring to get play. So Pop Psychology has no great songs, a couple good ones and a bunch of filler. It looks like Neon Trees may be resigned to two-hit wonderdom which is too back for the band because it is not enough to have a lengthy career and too many hits to be a much more celebrated one hit wonder. Thirty years later, more people remember Dexy's Midnight Runners than Level 42.

Song to Download – Unavoidable

Pop Psychology gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My Music Television: 4/22/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


It's On Again - Alicia Keys featuring Kendrick Lamar


For some reason Alicia Keys last album did not do very well. So of course she calls Pharrell, who is extending last year’s year of Pharrell even further (more on that later), and Kendrick Lamar for a new song. But I like the music video which harkens back to the nineties when massive soundtracks would rule MTV with videos that vaguely tie into the films. Really, all though Batman soundtracks videos from the era were just all awesomely bad. If you have not seen it in a while, or not at all, go watch Gotham City.


I Blame Myself – Sky Ferrera


Whenever I see a headline saying “_____ is not racist” my first thought is always, what I am about to see is probably racist. I actually saw a headline with Sky Ferrera contending that her newest video is not racist before seeing the video itself. So naturally I went in thinking what I was about to see would be highly racist. But is it racist? Meh, barely in a white chick harmlessly co-opting African American style which has been going on for decades. And there really is no reason to hate on the slight racism in the video considering also contains a entertainingly silly dance breakdown.


Sweatpants - Childish Gambino featuring Problem


Childish Gambino dropped his latest music video the same week as the season (series?) finale of his old show Community, but the video seems like it was trying to line up with the season premiere of Orphan Black.


Aerosol Cans – Major Lazer featuring Pharrell Williams


I could never get into Major Lazer because they are a part of that annoying dance music that just loops the same loud bars over and over again. Even Pharrell cannot make them listenable. But the lyrics video to their song is pretty innovative even if it surprisingly does not use any aerosol cans.

The Voice Season Six Top 12 Power Rankings

Much like the two previous seasons, I have gotten bored by the time the Playoffs rolled around. There was not much to be excited about to start with, but with the exception of Blake, the coaches completely mismanaged their teams. The final twelve is about as boring as the final twelve last season and just barely more diverse than season four. Hopefully Pharrell Williams and (reportedly) Gwen Stefani do a better job of finding singers worth getting excited for. While they are at it, get two more new judges to replace Blake and Adam (I suggest Miranda Lambert and John Mayer) and have an “all-star” season featuring all the contestants that the judges in the first six season screwed up on (here are my suggestions of 25 Contestants that Deserve a Second Chance which I made after season five; let me add Sam Behymer, Madilyn Paige, Ddendyl, Kaleigh Glanton, Clarissa Serna, Dawn and Hawkes, De'Shawn Washington, and Allison Bray from this season). Since it is too late to do anything about the boring singers, here are some interesting song selections that could keep my interest for the rest of the season along with my latest (and possibly last) power ranking.

1. Audra McLaughlin (Team Blake): XO – Beyoncé: Blake will undoubtedly go country chalk for his two country singers this season much like he did in season four. That worked well for Danielle (and may do the same for Jake) but I see Audra more like Holly would got boring quick singing old-timey country. To avoid Holly’s fate, a middle of the pack finish, Audra will need a Hail Mary before getting stale (which arguably may have happened last week with the Martina McBride song). XO is a universal song that could easily have some pop-country crossover. Bonus points if she brings out a children’s choir in the chorus.

2. Josh Kaufman (Team Adam Usher): Stubborn Love – The Lumineers: I do not know why this song was not as big as Ho Hey, but it deserves some shine, and I think Josh could do it justice even if he has been more blue eyed soul than folk rock so far.

3. Tess Boyer (Team Usher Blake Shakira): The One That Got Away – The Civil Wars: Tess has shown a wide range and this song has a lot of dynamics to play with.

4. Sisaundra Lewis (Team Blake): My Love – Lionel Richie: Here is somewhere Sisaundra and Blake can meet halfway: a Lionel Richie song which featured Kenny Rogers on backing vocals.

5. T.J. Wilkins (Team Usher): Feenin' – Jodeci: T.J. got adventurous with his Blind Audition but has sung boring RnB songs older than me ever since. I do not know why 90’s RnB has rarely (if ever) gotten any love on this show, but a little Jodeci will keep T.J. from being boring.

6. Kat Perkins (Team Adam): Little Black Submarines – The Black Keys: Whenever a rocker gets on the show they end up doing all the AM golden oldies. Here is an epic Led Zeppelin type song that The Black Keys crammed into a three minute rock song. I am sure this will be the favorite song the backing band would play this season.

7. Delvin Choice (Team Adam): Sweet Life – Frank Ocean: Speaking of boring old RnB, Delvin has never been as adventurous as his hair. Frank Ocean is one of the few modern RnB singers that is soulful and adventurous.

8. Jake Worthington (Team Blake): I and Love and You – The Avett Brother: Unlike Audra, Jake probably can cruise to the semifinals just singing bro-country, but would be boring. And suck. Here is a country song that is much more interesting that you will not hear on country radio.

9. Christina Grimmie (Team Adam): Get Lucky (Daughter version) – Daft Punk: Christina has range and consistency problems; here is an awesome version of the song that can hide her limitations.

10. Bria Kelly (Team Usher): Fake Plastic Trees – Radiohead: The last two weeks has shown that Bria struggles with subtle. I do not think she can advance very far shouting all the time. Here is a song with subtle and loud parts and you do not have to be perfect on the subtle parts when Tom Yorke is your template.

11. Dani Moz (Team Shakira): We Found Love – Rihanna: It worked well last week, how about stripping down another pop song and turning it into a love song?

12. Kristen Merlin (Team Shakira): Mama's Broken Heart – Miranda Lambert: She does not seem to have much versatility so might as well go with something in her wheelhouse. I am guessing she will be gone in the first week or two anyway.

But who cares what I think, here is how the contestants faired this week on the iTunes chart including the previous round songs that charted over the past two weeks.

1. Christina Grimmie (35)
2. Kat Perkins (112)
3. Dani Moz (149)
4. Tess Boyer (153)
5. Bria Kelly (156)
6. Josh Kaufman (166)
7. Delvin Choice (220)
8. Jake Worthington (221)
9. Sisaundra Lewis (290)
10. Kristen Merlin (292)
11. Morgan Wallen (347)
12. Jake Worthington – Have a Little Faith in Me (545)
13. Jake Baker – Climax (615)
14. Audra McLaughlin (626)
15. Jake Barker (744)
16. Patrick Thomson (752)
17. Christina Grimmie – Wrecking Ball (752)
18. T.J. Wilkins (779)
19. Christina Grimmie – Counting Stars (800)
20. Madilyn Paige – I’ll Stand by You (1057)
21. Jake Worthington – Don’t Close Your Eyes (1138)
22. Jake Worthington It Goes Like This (1145)
23. Madilyn Paige (1185)

And here is how they rank if you average the highest iTunes peak of each singers four perforamces.

1. Christina Grimmie (186.75)
2. Jake Worthington (215)
3. Josh Kaufman (303.75)
4. Sisaundra Lewis (456.25)
5. Morgan Wallen (485)
6. Kristen Merlin (495.25)
7. Jake Barker (590.25)
8. Madilyn Paige (605.25)
9. Audra McLaughlin (695.25)
Half of the top 12 had at least one song fail to make the top 1500, here is how all their songs charted to give you a sense of how they rank.
10. Bria Kelly (126, 459, NC, 156)
11. Kat Perkins (451, 943, NC, 112)
12. Delvin Choice (416, NC, 894, 220)
13. T.J. Wilkins (714, NC, 422, 779)
14. Tess Boyer (NC, NC, 334, 153)
15. Dani Moz (NC, 1314, NC, 149)


So gone are the fifth, seventh, and eighth best iTunes sellers with two singers who only charted half their songs are moving on (granted those two did make the top 200 this week). Now it is time to put on my prognosticators hat on and predict how the season will boil down:

Eliminated 11-12: Dani, Kristen
10-9: T.J., Kat
8-7: Delvin, Tess
6-5: Audra, Bria
4: Sisaundra
3: Chistina
2: Jake
1: Josh

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/19/14

Once Upon a Time: Please no more Captain Hook centric episodes, that was almost as boring as the Neverland episodes.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Last season was the deconstruction of Don Draper, hitting rock bottom to the point he actually revealed his past to his children. One would believe this season will be the redemption of Draper. He impressed Peggy with a presentation via Freddie Rumson. He was even able to turn down the advances of a fellow plane passenger that vaguely looked like Neve Campbell and admit to her that his wife knows he is a horrible person. Wait that actually was Neve Campbell? Oh wow.

There have been conspiracy theories since the beginning of the show is that the title sequence foreshadowing someone literally jumping out of a window. Most of them center on Rodger. I am not one of them because I have always thought it was a metaphorical of someone’s downward spiral. But I have to admit during the final scene, there was part of me that thought, “Oh no, Don is going to throw himself off the balcony.”
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: This show is surprisingly good in a best case scenario for a network to rip off Homeland kind of way. Plus the show is not afraid to get weird, which usually happens in the kidnapped house. But since this is on the same network as Hannibal, it is disappointing when the show hints, but does not go there. Like when the capture told the nerd to “touch” the student council president, he goes in for the hug, disappears off camera, and then they end the scene. Obviously from the reactions afterwards something happened, but what exactly? You know Hannibal would not have cut that scene short.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Revenge: Emily finally brought back her read Sharpie, but what exactly role did Victoria play in it? It sounded like she was setting Emily up for something, but it did not seem to play out.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: It has been a while since I have seen Lindsay Lohan in anything (I had to look at IMDB and aside from a cameo in Machete and a couple SNL hosting gigs, I have not see her in anything since Mean Girls, ten years ago). If this was the start of a comeback, she is going to have to go back to the drawing board because it was a pretty cringeworthy performance.
You can download 2 Broke Girls on iTunes.

Dallas: Very few things on television are truly shocking anymore, but I did not see Pamela breaking into J.R. Jr’s room just to offer up a threesome with his mistress.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I realized this episode just how much more I liked Agent Tripp on the team instead of the boring Ward. Hopefully they make this permanent. But I do have a sinking suspicion that Ward will turn out to be a triple agent. Sure that will be silly considering all the people he killed (but they could have been stunner bullets and Garrett did not bother to check for blood) and help get all the technology from SHIELD faculty (but it could be all planted). But then again, why would Coulson tell Ward of the secret floor with the Gravitron? Unless he wanted Ward to find it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: Ugg, I am really ready for Tony to get his comeuppance. Since he was the focus of the whole episode, I was expecting someone was going to turn and blindside him. I still do not understand why the Brains on the bottom have not looked at the majority alliance, see there are three Brawn, two Beauties, and one Brain and give the, do not let the Brawn run away with this, let’s start a Brains and Beauty alliance and boot the Brawns. This week would have been perfect when it was three on three on three. I guess that can become a better sell in two weeks if a Brain is ousted next.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: I really wanted Philip and Elizabeth’s debate on the luxuries of capitalism to be longer. It is a fascinating discussion of enjoying the very ideas you are supposed to be fighting against. I at the very least would rather they have that discussion about their kids growing up as fully fledged Americans then watching the kids break into other people’s homes to play ColecoVision.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Many people considered last year a bastard season of the show without creator Dan Harmon around, but the lack of Pierce and Troy this season made this season feel just as disjointed. But I would still watch a sixth season and possibly a movie if there is one next year. If not, I would probably watch Celebrity Beat Off with ?uestlove instead. Though a Jeff and Britta spin-off sounds horrible. An Annie’s Boobs spin-off would be much better.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: I was disappointed in the lack of Haddie lesbianism in the episode. We have not seen her all season; you could give her more than three of four scenes. And no one is going to point out her former black male boyfriend? We certainly defiantly did not need any of the Ryan scenes (oh please have Amber’s test come out negative). I guess it was a fitting ending of a lackluster season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Oh Camilla, this is the very reason why you get invited back every season, because you are good for one epic drunken stupor per season. Sure the latest one probably does not crack the top five greatest Camilla drunken stupor power rankings, but I do wonder if this was a passing of the guard situation with Nany taking the drunken stupor torch from Camilla because Nany really out-Camillaed Camilla in that fight. If this is the end of the line for Camilla, it has been a hall of fame time run for her.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: It seems like I say this every episode, but the stuffing a dead person in a dead horse is the creepiest motif in the show’s history. Well that was until Jeremy Davies (how has it taken him that long to appear on this show; it seems so obvious) stuffed a living person into a dead horse.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week:4/18/14

Quote of the Week: She knows I’m a terrible husband. (Don Draper, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: You Keep Me Hanging On – Vanilla Fudge (Mad Men)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: A Mrs. Doubtfire Sequel No One Asked For: We live in an era where every property will eventually get remade because it is easier than coming up with a new idea. So it was only a matter a time before someone got around to Mrs. Doubtfire which featured Robin Williams dressing up as old lady to be a nanny for his kids because his ex-wife would not let him see them. But instead of a remake, it turns out Williams wants some of that Martin Lawrence, Big Momma money and is readying a sequel. No word on if anyone else will reprise their roles, but it sounds like the daughter will night because she took to Twitter this week to blast the sequel, including humorously claiming sequels are unnecessary unless they are part of a trilogy.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Livin’ on a Prom" Baby Daddy, Wednesday at 8:30 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Who Needs You – The Orwells (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Pop Psychology - Neon Trees

New DVD Release of the Week: Ken Burns: The Address

Video of the Week: The Walk of Shame trailer looks extremely stupid. Please note that I mean that in the most complimentary way possible. And who would have guessed Britta Perry would look much better as a brunette?


Next Week Pick of the Week: Orphan Black, Saturday (tomorrow) at 9:00 on BBC America: Ever since AMC had success with the launch of Mad Men, its first scripted series, it seems like every other network has tried to get in the prestigious television series game. Even WGN has its first original series coming soon. The problem is with all these new channels offering scripted television (as well as all the streaming sites; Playstation is even coming out with one for its gaming system) it is hard to keep track of all of them. So I skipped Orphan Black when it debuted because I did not even have a clue what channel BBC America was.

After hearing an overwhelming acclaim for the series, including from people I trust, I decided to give it a try last summer when there was nothing much else on and I noted the entire season was available On Demand. We live in an era where nothing lives up to the hype, marketers and fanatics oversell everything, but Orphan Black was one of the few things that not only met expectations but actually succeeded them. If you did not catch the first season, it may be too late for you catch up for the new season, but you definitely want to catch the first season now and get caught up for (hopefully) a season three. I just need to figure out what channel BBC America is by tomorrow night.

Around the Tubes: 4/17/14

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Rosemary's Baby, Getz/Gilberto, Defiance, Royal Pains, Wicked Tuna, The Americans, Chasing Life, and Young and Hungry.

- As we get closer to the May 11 premiere of the Rosemary’s Baby mini-series, here is the exclusive teaser:


- This year marks the 50th anniversary of the landmark, four-time Grammy® Award winning jazz album Getz/Gilberto. On May 27, 2014, Verve/Universal Music Enterprises (UMe) celebrates with the release of the single-disc Getz/Gilberto: Expanded Edition. It includes a newly remastered version of the jazz/bossa nova classic album in both mono and stereo, with the mono version making its CD debut and the stereo album in its original left-right configuration for the first time since its vinyl release. Additional bonus tracks include the U.S. single versions of The Girl From Ipanema, a massive hit, and Corcovado, its original B-side.

- Mark your calendars because season two premiere of Defiance on Thursday, June 19. In the meantime, please check out the launch trailer below:


- No specific date yet, but Royal Pains will also return sometime this June. There is even a promo. When we last saw Hank (Mark Feuerstein), he was embarking on a trip around the world, to provide medical care for Boris (Campbell Scott). This season, Hank will return to find that his HankMed family has moved on without him. :


- Wicked Tuna returns this Sunday at 9:00 on the National Geographic Channel with the biggest episode of the season including a 900 lb fish and a 9 hour battle.

- FX has picked up its hit drama The Americans for a 13-episode third season. Season two continues on Wednesdays at 10:00.

- ABC Family has two new shows coming to you this summer, you can check out the key art for Chasing Life and Young and Hungry below.

Previewing Devious Maids: Season Two: A Dude's Review of Lifetime vol. V

Ten years ago Desperate Housewives debuted and quickly became the guiltiest guilty pleasures of all time. There was an interesting mystery about a suicide, dark underlining humor, and of course, Eva Longoria in her underwear almost every week. Once the mystery as to why Mary Alice killed herself was solved, the show had a hard time coming up with a storyline as gripping (the second season featured some weird kid in the basement storyline that may or may have not been totally cribbed from The Goonies) and the show slowly went downhill. I gave up on the show right around the time a tornado hit Wisteria Lane.

By the time Desperate Housewives was winding down, creator Mark Cherry was reading a spinoff not on any of the main characters but on guest star who works as a maid for the rich and famous in Beverly Hills. ABC passed on Devious Maids, but Lifetime, possibly looking for a buzzy show that was part Desperate Housewives, part modern day Downton Abby, to counter their appearance of being the cheesy ripped from the headlines channel decided to pick it up. Much like its predecessor, it features character with plenty of secrets and dark humor.

And of course the show resolved around a murder mystery. The series premiere featured a maid being murdered and her boyfriend being charged. Naturally he did not do it because that would make a boring show. It turned out the suspect’s mother became the latest maid in the area to spy on the dead maid’s former employers in hopes to uncover who really killed her predecessor. Unfortunately the other four maids on the show had storylines that were not nearly as interesting. There was the maid who caught her employer in bed with a man who was not her husband. The maid who wanted to be a singer. And the mother who did not want her daughter to date the son they worked for.

By the end of the season, the murder mystery was wrapped up in a nice bow with the real killer “confessed before killing himself.” The aspiring pop singer was propositioned to be the beard for her employer in exchanged for a record contract. The daughter maid started packing after her mother lied to her about her boyfriend. And the cliffhanger resolved around the maid who slept with her employer getting arrested by ICE with his wife looking on with a smile on her face.

The second season naturally starts off in 1999. What happened fifteen years ago? Murder of course. Back in 2014, it has been three months since the first season finale. Two of the maid have moved on up to the east side. Carmen is enjoying her life as a beard (granted Odessa is not). Marisol has gone to cleaning houses in Beverly Hills to living in one and now has a devious maid of her own who seems to be even more devious than last year's maids. Rosie is seeking asylum in hopes staying in the country. Zoila and Valentina are still estranged because of the deception. And of course the Powell’s, who remain the most entertaining characters on the show, have a new maid, their sixth in the series (and may quickly be in the need of a seventh whom you will recognize).

Despite the opening, there really is no new murder mystery yet (we the viewers can guess one of two things that happened). The Stapports seem to be gone with nary of a mention. There are some bombshells, but mostly of the run of the mill nighttime soap kind. But hey, at least there are no creepy kids in the basement.

Devious Maids airs Sundays at 10:00 on Lifetimes. You can stream past episodes on Hulu. You can also download Devious Maids on iTunes.

Previewing I Love My Pit Bull

From dog fights to dog attacks, pit bulls have been in the news for the wrong reasons for a couple decades. These negative perceptions of pit bulls have led to breed specific laws targeted at them, owners of the dogs, would say unfairly. One of those owners is the Dog Whisperer himself Cesar Millan. If you have watched any of his shows, you have undoubtedly met Daddy his pit bull and leader of his pack. And went Daddy passed away a couple years ago, Cesar replaced him with a new pit bull Junior.

The Dog Whisperer would like you to know that just like every other dog, pit bull, and their owners, just need to be trained properly. Cesar goes over how in his newest special I Love My Pit Bull airing Friday at 9:00 on Nat Geo Wild. Not only that he talk about his special relationship with his pit bulls and how rapper Redman was integral to how it came about.

The special also looks at the history of the pit bull back going back to the 1800’s when they were commonly used on farms to herd cattle. There was even a time when they were one of the most popular family pet (sometimes even considered nannies), even owned by President Theodore Roosevelt, Gen. George Patton and Helen Keller. Now associated with dog fights and gang members wants to reeducate the country on the values of the breed that is now euthanized about a million times each year. As Cesar says, “It’s not the breed that makes a good companion. All dogs are great companions. Communication creates a partnership and dogs have the simplest communication on the planet. For them, everything is about trust, respect and love.”

I Love My Pit Bull premieres Friday at 9:00 on Nat Geo Wild.

I Want My Music Television: 4/14/14

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Magic - Coldplay


When “A Jonas Akerlund Film” popped up at the beginning of the new Coldplay video, I expected a Best Music Video of 2014 contender. Akerlund has directed such great and thought provoking videos such as Smack My (Expletive Deleted) Up by The Prodigy, Turn the Page by Metallica, and Christina Aguilera’s Beautiful. I was slightly disappointed that the video turned out to be The Prestige meets U2’s All I Want Is You video seen through an oldtimey filter.


Guilty All the Same – Linkin Park featuring Rakim


Linkin Park has made some creative, interactive music videos lately, and their latest is an actual video game (lean more here). Kind of looks like darker version of Sonic the Hedgehog. It is much cooler than the song which weirdly tries to mix early eighties heavy metal and late eighties hip-hop courtesy of the Microphone Fiend Rakim with mixed results.


I Love You (But I Hate Your Friends) - Neon Trees


The first music video off of the upcoming Neon Trees album had a definite eighties vibe. They went even further with their latest video which I am pretty sure Thompson Twins and / or Culture Club made the exact same music video back in the decade.


I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers


In the annuls of rock history, lead singers can go on to have successful solo careers, the band can go onto side projects no one cares about or joins a supergroup. So history is not on the side of Bleachers, headed by the Fun. guitarist. But the first single is catchy in an New Wave song I cannot quite place that it sound like kind of way. The whole therapist themed music video is entertaining.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/13/14

Once Upon a Time: So the Wicked Witch took Prince Charming’s courage, tried to take Regina’s heart. So who’s brain will be targeting? And when she gets the three she will be able to go back in time so she can be the one that executes Rumplestiltkin’s curse. Huh?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: I have long said that no one is really dead on television until you see a body (and even then so, I still give it a ten percent chance they somehow return), so when Jimmy went off to his certain doom, I still assumed he was alive until his corpse washed up along the shores of Lake Michigan. But the writers did wait long enough that I completely forgot about him and snuck him in after the credit so some people may have missed his return. But it looks like we will have to learn a third name for the character because his new female companion called him a new name.

Resurrection: What the frack just happens? Caleb is thirty and then just disappears. Is gone for good or will him and the other be back and forth through time?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

House of Lies: Oh wow, Marty Kaan out of Kaan and Associates. I did not see that coming. But much like this past season where it looked bleak that the pod would all be reunited at Kaan and Associates, I have a feeling the writers will find a way for Marty to get back into the fold by the third episode of next season.

The Voice: Of course Team Blake went first because that was the most obvious of all the teams. As soon as I heard that the Playoffs were no longer live back during the first Battle Rounds, I figured those would be his final three. There was an outside chance that Blake could have dumped one of his two country singers for Madilyn Paige, but alas, Madilyn is yet another early fan favorite sent home before anyone could vote on her. Sadly she could have easily have been top three on any other team, and undoubtedly gone further than anyone still on Shakira’s team.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: After debating on whether to watch or skip to avoid spoilers from Captain America I went ahead and watched (I may have been one of the view because ratings were way down; in retrospect, ABC / Disney / Marvel probably should had scheduled so the episode before the movie was the season finale). There were some spoilers like the rise of Hydra and Nick Fury’s death but things looked dire for him in the preview at the end of the last episode (not that I believe he is really dead because you do not kill off Sam Jackson; the only question is if he faked his death or if he took a trip to Tahiti). The show did have a nice fake up making me think Victoria Hand was secretly Hydra only for John Garrett being the turncoat. But Agent Ward turning out to be Hydra was much less surprising, I saw that coming as soon as he adamantly volunteers to escort Garrett.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: The Crowe storyline played out much like I expected it, Wendy turned on Daryl and he would end up dead or in jail. What I did not expect was how much time they spent setting up the next and final season. But just as it should be, next season will be Raylan vs. Boyd with Ava in the middle. After its weakest season, the show is angling to go out on its best (though I doubt anything with come close the Mags Bennet season).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I am beginning to think the show is actively trying to make this season even worse than Redemption Island. Hopefully Morgan wears a screw you dress to every Tribal Council from here on out.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Every time I hear about someone taking a polygraph test, I am always taken back to the Beavis and Butt-Head episode where they hold their breath to beat the test. How did the duo not know of the squeezing your anus technique to cheat on the test?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Well that was stupid. If it were not for Annie’s treasure map dance, that would have been one complete waste of a half and hour.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: I do not remember anything from this week’s episode because the only thing I remember is the promo of a now blond Haddie making out with a chick. After a black dude and a chick, she is a Republican away from the Berkley parent nightmare trifecta.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

The Challenge Free Agents: We get a new format this season which turned out to be a combination of the previous formats: they will play as teams one week, small groups other, duos, and individually. I kind of like not the make up from week to week and limits the dominance of one alliance. I do wish they would switch to Survivor type voting because as is the latter voters just end up voting the inevitable. Or even better, have everyone write down a name at the same time and then reveal the names one by one to the group so those voting first do not determine what the latter voters do. And while I am making suggestions, can we please have a moratorium on Bananas and CT and just never ask Cara Maria back.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Last week I pondered if Hannibal planned on Jack finding Miriam or was that his first slip up. Of course Hannibal orchestrated. How he took down Dr. Chilton was awe inspiring. Sully was the only smart person on this show and got out out Dodge without a trace once realizing who Hannibal was.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.