Previewing Dallas

In a measure of full disclosure, I should mention that I have never seen an episode of the original Dallas which ran from 1978 to 1991. Even though it ran for thirteen seasons, I was still too young to watch by the time it went off the air. I was so young at the time, when I saw the cast of the new version I thought to myself, “Why did they cast the dad from Step by Step in such a serious role?” (Which begs the question way can Staci Keanan not find more work? Can we fast track a My Two Dads reboot please. Get on that ABC Family. But anyway.) Since I was alive during the era I of course am familiar with who shot J.R. (well the plotline, I am not entirely sure who did the shooting) and that one of the seasons turned out to be the longest dream sequence ever. Could you imagine if that happened today, and you thought the internet exploded over the season finale of The Killing. The internet would burn down if an entire season was revealed a dream today.

With that out of the way, there is no learning curve for anyone who want to jump into the Dallas reboot without have seen it in the original run because you were too young at the time (which is basically anyone under forty) or not even born yet (people born the same year Dallas went off the air will be old enough to drink this year). For those that that did watch the original run, the last twenty-one years has not been good to the Ewing boys. In the second scene, Bobby is diagnosed with cancer and J.R. spends the first episode mostly motion-and-speechless in a nursing home suffering from depression. But do not worry; the best character on the show will not be confined to an old folk’s home for that long as J.R. regains his fastball by the second episode. Or as close to a fastball that an eighty year old can throw it.

With the older downtrodden, the new Dallas slowly shift to the new generation and the cousin at the heart of the new show are chips off the old blocks. Jon Ross (Josh Henderson, Desperate Housewives), much like his father J.R. is a ruthless oilman who is not above drilling on the family land behind his family’s back to get every last drop there is even if that involves the buzz word of the moment, fracking. The altruistic Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe, Desperate Housewives) is the good son just like his adopted father Bobby who is moving past the dirty oil game looking for cleaner alternative fuels like methane hydrate.

And where would the Ewing men be without their women? Both cousins had a go around with the family cook’s daughter Jordana Brewster (Fast Five), first with Christopher before ending up with Jon Ross (sadly no on calls him J.R. Jr.). Christopher eventually moved onto Julie Gonzalo (Veronica Mars) who he is engaged to and the Pilot episode has them coming back to Southfork to get married which it set to go on at the end of the first episode. Bobby even got himself a new wife (Brenda Strong, Desperate Housewives' disembodied narrator and was actually on the orginal Dallas as “Cliff’s One Night Stand” during the seventh season) while J.R.’s ex Sue Ellen is still around and had gotten herself into politics while the show has been off the air.

With Dallas essentially inventing the modern day nighttime soap and its mysteries like who shot J.R., what looks to be the initial conflict of the controlling interest of the family land at Southfork by the four Ewing boys really lacks intensity you come to expect from night time soaps. This is very glaring when you compare it to the gold standard of today: Revenge with the protagonist going after everyone involved with her father’s imprisonment (and death). Even the first season of Desperate Housewives (which shared a lot of DNA with Dallas, even Larry Hagman showed up at one point) that rebooted the nighttime soap craze of today built a more interesting mystery and conflict than Dallas came back with. Arguing over land rights and drilling rights just does not pack the same punch these days. Plus, why can Jon Ross not just buy the land next door, stick in a straw in the land and drink Bobby’s milkshake up that way? There is even an awkward storyline with a mysterious e-mail (which thankfully get resolved by the third episode). Also it gets annoying really quick how everyone in the Ewing family over-emphasized their relationship to the person they are talking to angrily.

What the new Dallas does have going for it is what could be a record breaking amount of double crosses. And not only are there a few triple crosses, the show even managed the elusive quadruple cross (which I have a feeling may turn into a quintuple-cross by the time I watch the next episode). If you are a fan a drinking game, go ahead and take a shot everytime there is a double-cross, a double for a triple-cross and so long. But be warned, you may end up drunker then if you played my Deadwood drinking game.

I also always enjoy watching Jordana Brewster try to act and she takes it to another level on Dallas because her Texas accent goes in and out from scene to scene (and sometimes in the same scene). But if there is a breakout star, it will be Gonzalo, a highly likeable actress with some bad luck. She was resigned to the background on Veronica Mars after her rape storyline was wrapped up. Eli Stone never got a fair shake. And her Day One show is one of the rare shows that got picked up by a network but never actually made it to air. Hopefully she can finally shine on Dallas (even though she plays the doting fiancé tonight, we get to better know her character next week).

Fans of the original run should not expect a cavalcade of cameos from the first run. Even though he is getting married much of the Ewing family that is not in the main cast fails to show up except for Charlene Tilton as niece Lucy (she gives some excuse why her father could not make it). Christopher’s own adopted mother does not even show up to the festivities and is not even mentioned until next week when her bother Cliff Barnes (who also skipped his nephew’s wedding) shows up. Another J.R. nemesis Ray Krebbs also shows up later in the season.

Even though he remains the best part of the new show and gets the best lines (“Bobby may not be stupid, but I’m a hellava lot smarter”) J.R. is showing is age as Hagman turned eighty last year and has already retired twice, coming out for the second time for the Dallas reboot. During its original run, the famous” Who Shot J.R.” happened at the end of the third season. I have a feeling will not have to wait that long for a “Who Killed J.R.” cliffhanger even if J.R. hilariously tells another character who points a gun at him, “Bullets don’t have much effect on me.”

Dallas airs Wednesdays at 9:00 and premieres tonight with back to back episodes. You can also download Dallas on iTunes.

I Want My Music Television - 6/12/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Every Single Night - Fiona Apple



Nothing like an octopus on the head to reintroduce yourself to the general public. Welcome back Fiona Apple and it was nice to see you smile at the end.


Mercy - Kanye West featuring Big Sean, Pusha T, 2 Chainz



The video to Kanye West and his G.O.O.D. Music rappers is so fun to look at I almost forget the song itself is fairly lackluster. But has there ever been rap label crew track that did not suck? Do we have to go all the way back to It's All About the Benjamins to find one?


Favorite Song - Colbie Caillat featuring Common



After he showed up on The Jonas Brothers album, it should not be that surprising when Common (former G.O.O.D. artist) shows up pretty much anywhere, but I still had to do a double take after he popped up in the new Colbie Caillat video. On a side note, when did Colbie start morphing into Raylan Givens’s ex-wife?


"45" - The Gaslight Anthem




A straight forward performance video from The Gaslight Anthem but I wanted to share it just because Handwritten, coming July 24, may be my most anticipated album of the summer and still very high on the list for the second half of 2012.

Previewing Bunheads

In a measure of full disclosure since it is every advertisement for the show, I have never seen an episode of Gilmore Girls (though it still was a bit disturbing to me to see a topless Rory Gilmore on Mad Men a couple weeks back). So I really cannot compare and contrast Amy Sherman-Palladino’s biggest show with her most recent one, Bunheads. Besides an awkward word and even more awkward title “and the line “so you wanna be a bunhead?” is the most awkward of the Pilot), a “bunhead” is the name of a ballerina (you know, because their hair is always in a bun to keep them from whipping their dance partners with a ponytail).

Before you stop reading and avoid the show because of its subject matter, Bunheads is the best new show you can watch this summer on basic cable or network television and may end up being the best new show of the entire year and that statement is coming from someone who arbores all those horrible dance shows that populate the channels. Bunheads is akin to Friday Night Lights in that you did not have to enjoy football or even know the difference between interception and an endzone to appreciate the show (and to continue the Friday Night Lights comparison, a Dillon resident even shows up on Bunheads).

The show follows an aging Vegas showgirl after a drunken night ends with her marrying her stalker (you know, a story as old as time) and moves to his sleepy coastal town appropriable called Paradise where his mother (who was the grandmother on Gilmore Girls) runs a dance studio next to their house. Naturally the small town, that does not even have a movie theater (but when you are on the ocean, do you really need to be inside) is quick to talk about the “stripper from Tahoe” even if they do not have all the fact.

Undoubtedly the showgirl will end up working at the mother’s studio where we meet the rest of the cast (all novices that have about five credits to their names combined). Early on they or confined to easy sterotypes, Boo, non-ballet shaped girl who will not let that stop her from her dreams of dancing, Ginnie, the, um, filled out dancer who will let them stop her, Sasha, the perfect ballerina type and knows it (you know there is going to be something dark in her background), and Melanie, the care-free one.

The witty script is rapid-fire dialogue with jokes where you do not even expect them. If there is a complaint is the relatively inexperienced actors sometime cannot keep up with everything (hopefully as they grow into these characters, this is elevated). And the ending goes to a place I am not sure where the show goes from there after what they set up in the first episode. Hopefully by the time the second episode ends, they can get back to what they did so well setting up in the first episode because if they do, it will be a very entertaining summer (sorry for being so vague but the ending is very big and even it is hard to say anything about it without being spoilery).

Bunheads airs Mondays at 9:00 on ABC Family. You can steam recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes where you can currently download the Pilot for free before it even airs.

Previewing Untamed Americas

photo credit: Pedro Szekely

When I first got my HDTV I was expecting jaw-droppingly beautiful images, but even the HD broadcast of most shows were not that much of an improvement over standard definition. The few exceptions include sports broadcast and nature shows like the one BBC released every couple years. The latest special starts tonight on The National Geographic Channel called Untamed Americas. As the title suggests, the special will take you from Alaska all the way down to Patagonia and, dare I say, from sea to shining sea.

photo credit: © Getty Images/WaterFrame RM

Untamed Americas is narrated by Josh Brolin (who unfortunately does not do his Tommy Lee Jones impression for the show) with four episodes dedicated to Mountains (tonight at 9:00), Deserts (tonight at 10:00), Coasts (tomorrow at 9:00), and Forests (tomorrow at 10:00). Sure if you have seen other nature specials like this before, you probably seen a few scenes before like wolf on elk violence or rams putting their large horns to good use against each other, but there is plenty of new information to tune into for.

photo credit: © NGT

Up in the mountains we will see for the very first time on film, bat that measures at 2 and a half inches with a three inch tongue, the highest ratio of any mammal in the world (that would be like a human with a seven foot tongue. The show will even take you inside a toxic volcano where Parakeets learn to fly and bing new meaning to trial by fire. Who would have guessed in the deserts you would find penguins, but there they are in Northern Peru, descending down a steep cliff to find sea lion at the bottom just to get food for their young.

photo credit: © NGT

Along the coasts you will be able to see jellyfish come to be and grow into adulthood. And if you have ever wanted to see how dolphins have sex, you will be in luck. Then deep in the forests you can find dolphins, yes dolphins swimming in rivers of the Amazon rain forest. And who would have guessed there would be a species of black bears with white coats? But they are found in Canada hanging out by rivers hoping to catch salmon as they swim hundreds of miles upstream to where they were born to hatch their own eggs.

If you loved the BBC nature show, you will definitely want to check out Untamed America, you will get the same kind of professionalism and hard work as those specials. The National Geographic team spent two years working on the specials to capture the extreme wildlife of the two continents. From sub zero temperatures to 100 percent humidity to 80 mile per hour winds. If there was a complaint is the specials does not include a making of segment showing just how the cameramen got the amazing shots (but I am someone who watches Man vs. Wild and would rather watch a documentary of how the camera crew survives as opposed to Bear Grylls). But anyway. Check out a clip below from tonight’s Desert episode:

Lizard vs. Bobcat

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 6/9/12

Quote of the Week: You let that wax figurine discourage you? (Rodger, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: S&M – Rihanna (Pretty Little Liars)

Scene of the Week:




Big News of the Week: I Need to Stop Watch Award Shows: I grew up on MTV but I rarely even flip to the channel anymore except when The Challenge or Beavis and Butt-head are on. But for some reason I am still drawn into the channel’s award shows even though they have not been watchable in years. I talked myself into checking it out because The Black Keys and Fun. were performing and Emma Stone was getting some made up awards. But other than those three moments, the Movie Awards sucked. Where were the cool parodies? Where were the weird pairings (now every award has to be presented by the “cast” of a movie)? And teen girls are still ruining everything by voting for crappy vampire movies. Remember the good old days when nerds controlled the show? Wow I’m old. Actually I am so old I watched Mad Men live Sunday.

On the flip side I have never seen one previous CMT Awards before but only watched for one reason: Kristen Bell. Yeah, that was a bad idea. Sure the Pistol Annies skit was funny (somebody get that girl a record contract) was entertaining, but the political opening fell flat. And Barack Obama an Mitt Romney not backing Kristen is a disqualifier. Is Ross Perot still around? All was not lost though; Willie Nelson performed a song called Roll Me Up an Smoke Me When I Die God bless you Willie.

Mad Men: I never thought Mad Men would be so literal as to actually have someone fall out a window, but as Lane turned to his after Don fired him, I thought for a second that he may actually throw himself out of his. But after a failed attempted to kill himself via Jaguar that he was not actually able start (which begs the question, at what point does Jaguar sue the show for defamation?) he hung himself in his own office. Well at least Lane got to punch Pete Campbell in the face before leaving this mortal coil. So now in two consecutive episodes, Don has Lane’s suicide and Joan’s prostitution hanging over his head (and that does not take into account the other crap he has dealt with lately with Peggy leaving, his wife drifting apart, the Jewish alien becoming better than him, etc.). Last season ended with a proposal, I do not see anything as celebratory happening in next week’s finale. I would not be surprised if this season gets bookend with the dissolution of Don and Megan’s marriage. Or maybe we will get our first extra marital affair of the season (I hope everyone took the over on the number of episodes before that happened) unless of course you count the dream chick Don nailed than murdered.

You can download Mad Men on iTunes.


Preview Picture of the Week:

Dallas premiering Wednesday at 9:00 on TNT

Free Download of the Week: Daddy – Emeli Sande (iTunes): If that is not enough free from her, you can also grab Where I Sleep on Amazon.

Deal of the Week: Pop Classics for $2.99: The MP3 wars are heating up again as Amazon has deeply discounted albums from Hall and Oates and Hootie and the Blowfish and the soundtracks to Footloose and Dirty Dancing.



New Album Release of the Week: The Bravest Man In The Universe - Bobby Womack

New DVD Release of the Week: Episodes: The First Season

Video of the Week: If you are like me you were too young to watch Dallas (which is basically anyone under forty) when it originally aired. So if you need a catch up on the first run’s 357 episodes, unless you jumped in during its thirteen season run, TNT has released a refresher course on the Ewing family including what has happened at the Southfork ranch in the two decades since the show went off the air. And once you are caught up, tune into the reboot when it has its two-hour premiere this Wednesday at 9:00.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Bunheads, Monday at 9:00 on ABC Family: Sure I am too old and too male to watch yet another show on ABC Family, but besides the subject matter, the show is quick, fun, and highly entertaining. Look for a full review on Monday. And for those not quite sure what a “Bunhead” is, below is photographic evidence showing what is and is not a Bunhead.

Around the Tubes - 6/8/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on 41, Dallas, Falling Skies, Wilfred, Veep, Mad Men, Martha Speaks, The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan, TBS Just for Laughs Comedy Festival, Fuse, Californication, The Secret life of the American Teenager, Lizard Lick Towing, Macy's 4th of July Fireworks, and Kelly Clarkson.

- Appropriately the latest HBO 41 about George Herbert Walker Bush will be airing next Thursday, Flag Day (which will also be his 88 birthday). The story is told by the former president in his own words from his summer home in Kennebunkport, ME. Check out a trailer below and tune in at 9:00 to watch 41:



- Post-shows have been popping up more frequently these days for fans to go deeper into an episode and TNT is jumping into the fray with two webshows to air directly after two upcoming shows, both will be live (on the east coast) and fifteen minutes in length. Dallas Round-Up will naturally follow episodes of the Dallas reboot at dallastnt.com and will be hosted by Cameron Mathison. While Second Unit will come directly after new episodes of Falling Sky on fallingskies.com with Wil Wheaton as your host. Stars of both show are expected to show up throughout the season.

- Can’t wait until the Jun 28th premiere of Wilfred? Well you are in luck, FX is launching a special preview of the second season premiere two weeks earlier on Video on Demand and Hulu and you can also watch the episode that night at 10:30 on FX. Keep in mind its regular timeslot is 10:00 on Thursdays.

- The season of Veep is this Sunday on HBO, until then, here is another deleted scene to tide you over:



- In honor of the Mad Men finale this Sunday, Wordnik has put together a list of their favorite words spoken by the people of SCDP.

- On next Friday’s episode of PBS Kids’ Martha Speaks (check your local listings), Truman is going to meet one of his heroes, astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson who is getting animated for the part. Check out a clip below:

Truman’s #1 Hero


- The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan just announced its final season starting July 7 but will be going out with a bang featuring dogs owned by Kelsey Grammer, Jillian Michaels, NASCAR drivers Greg Biffle and Kevin Harvick, and Cesar will be stopping by the Playboy Mansion to help out Hugh Hefner.

- For those in Chicago next week for TBS Just for Laughs Comedy Festival, it was just announced they will be hosting a special advanced screening of That’s My Boy with star Adam Sandler in attendance at the Kerasotes Showplace ICON on Thursday, June 14.

- Fuse recently greenlit three new original series: Off Beat, a weekly show focusing on the most outrageous music themed internet videos. Warped Roadies, a behind the scenes look at the Vans Warped Tour and the young crew that keeps it rolling. And G-Life about a “family style” (it is in quotations because it is ran by Italian-Americans) run record label.

- For those that watched Lost and thought to themselves that they would like to see Shannon sans her ever-present bikini, you may be in luck because Maggie Grace recently signed on for the next season of Califorication for at least eight episodes as a groupie with an unconventional relationship with Hank. For those that watched Lost and thought to themselves that they would like to see Hurley with less clothes, you may also be in luck (but it is less likely... hopefully) because he will also show up in one episode as an old contact of Maggie’s (hopefully it is not of a physical nature that we have to witness). The new season will air in 2013 so hopefully the Mayans were wrong.

- The season premiere of The Secret Life of the American Teenager is this Monday (yes the previous season finale was earlier this week) and to commemorate the occasion, ABC Family has released an Amy and Ricky through the Years montage. Check it out below:



- Returning this Monday to TruTV is the new season of Lizard Lick Towing.

- For those staying to watch the fireworks this 4th of July, Katy Perry and Kenny Chesney have just signed up to perform during Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Show airing 9:00 on NBC.

- Kelly Clarkson covers this month’s Redbook where she talks weight loss, Duets, and finding happiness.

I Want My Music Television - 6/7/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Gold on the Ceiling – The Black Keys



The Black Keys have released some pretty awesome videos in the past, but released a straight forward (i.e. boring) video for Gold on the Ceiling featuring road footage. Then a couple months later this happened and I have not been able to sleep since. This is some serial killer type ish.


Princess of China - Coldplay & Rihanna



Didn’t Coldplay already do the fake trailer for one of their music videos from this album already? I think I would actually like the fake elephant movie better.


No Church In the Wild - Jay-Z & Kanye West featuring Frank Ocean



Just last week I scratched my head at the random dropping of the latest Kanye West video, and a day later he released yet another video from his album with Jay-Z months after the single was released (and a week after used in The Great Gatsby trailer) featuring people raging against, um, who knows. Check back next week to see what better late than never Kanye releases.


Some Nights - Fun.



If the new Kanye-Jay-Z video is not enough violence for you, here comes fun. Ironically last week while watching the Hatfields and Mccoys miniseries, I thought to myself, “Self, do you know what this needs: an indie pop soundtrack.” Thank you fun. for giving me that visualization. But unfortunately they did not go fully into historical accuracy because there was no crappy auto-tune during the Civil War.

First Impressions: Pretty Little Liars 3.x

After deciding to reveal the identity of “A”, Pretty Little Liars hit its stride again in the second half of its second season. It finally ramped up the tension that was missing in the previous episodes and brought back the intrigue and mystery that drew in viewers at the start of the series. Like the start of the season, each of the Liars were harboring a new lie: Emily became a blackout drunk, Hannah has been visiting Mona in the mental hospital, Spencer continues to go to the “A” den to figure out who the “Black Swan” was (um, don’t we already know it was her sister?), and Aria, well no new secret but she still continues to carry on her creepy affair with Ezra (I thought he could not get a job in the area, how is he still around, Ezra should have become the King of New Orleans when he had the chance). But unlike the first season where it took a couple episodes for the secrets to come out, they actually shared them with each other from the start. But much like the start of the show, the liars inexplicably still not go to the police when they are in trouble.

In the five months that passed in Rosewood since the finale Garrett apparently did not just get pinned for the murder of Allison (which he denies even though I could have sworn he already admitted to it with Jenna) but also added another manslaughter charge (Mya’s) to his rap sheet. Mona has been in a catatonic state in a nut house only moving to acknowledge visions of Allison in a red dress (keep in mind the shadowy figure in the finale was also wearing red). Hermie the Hermaphrodite has gotten moody since the masquerade ball. And Jenna has still not been seen since we saw her seeing things unbeknownst to everyone else who thought her surgery failed.

Oh yeah, and someone dug up Allison’s body and left Emily with the shovel. Of course that is only assuming Allison’s body was actually there to begin with (yes, I am still holding onto my theory I had from the series premiere that Allison is in fact still very alive). And thanks to the pictures in the car at the end, it is safe to assume “New A” is behind everything. And since she claims that unlike Mona, who plays with dolls, “New A” plays with body parts, there is a good chance (s)he is behind the missing Allison body and Mya’s death. Hopefully, unlike the first “A”, the writers do not wait a season too late to reveal who “New A” is.

Pretty Little Liars airs Tuesdays at 8:00 on ABC Family. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Previewing Rizzoli and Isles 3.x and Franklin and Bash 2.x

TNT introduces its own version of Law and Order tonight when its duos Rizzoli and Isles and Franklin and Bash air back to back. Although since the cops come before the lawyers, maybe they should call it Order and Law Tuesdays. As for the former, Rizzoli and Isles returns for its third season tonight at 9:00, and when we last saw the friends, Rizzoli was shooting Isles’ biological father, gangster Paddy Doyle. The aftermath plays out tonight as Jane’s bullet puts Paddy’s life in danger with Maura in the middle (which may or may not lead to a catfight). But we do learn of the very first meeting of the titular characters tonight.

There is a homicide that does need investigating in tonight’s episode (but with Maura at her father’s bedside, that means more Ed Begley Jr. as her replacement) involving a botched convenient store robbery that ends up tying back to the events of the last episode. Other murders the girls will have to investigate this season a grad student killed in hidden tunnels under the university, a killer with a bizarre doll fetish, and homeless vets. Oh and it looks like Maura’s biological family tree will be expanding this season.

Rizzoli and Isles airs Tuesdays at 9:00 on TNT. You can stream recent episodes over at TNT.tv. You can also download Rizzoli & Isles on iTunes.


As for the lesser sex duo, Franklin and Bash return with a literal bang tonight as they open the season in court defending a magician against a deficient water trap that the boys go to their usual extreme ways to win the case. After that is resolved, the guys are up for partner at Infeld-Daniels but need two-thirds vote from the partners to join them. So the guys try to show their value by catching a big fish in the form of Kevin Nealon. Another case involves a lady cop who is welcome to arrest me any day and we learn just where Pindar’s issues really began.

Other cases the lawyers tackle this season include a wannabe crime fighter (Sean Astin), a court-martial of two Navy female sailors, a widow who tries to keep her late husband from being immortalized as a dancer in a human body exhibit, and someone who needs to prove he is a gay-homosexual to keep a softball trophy. Also showing up this season include Martin Mull, Ernie Hudson, Peter Weller, Danielle Panabaker, Tiffany Dupont, Shiri Appleby, and Chris Kline. Beau Bridges reprises his role as Jared’s father and we get to meet some other family members this season including Peter’s mom (Jane Seymour) and one of Infeld’s ex wives (Cybill Shephard). We even get introduced to a low rent version of Franklin and Bash: Jango and Rossi as portrayed by Seth Green and Eric Mabius.

Franklin and Bash airs Tuesdays at 10:00 on TNT. You can download Franklin & Bash on iTunes.

Previewing Burning Love

If I told you there was a series that reunited Veronica Mars vets Ken Marino, Kristen Bell, Ryan Hansen and also featured Ben Stiller, Michael Ian Black, Ken Jeong, and Adam Scott your first question will probably be what channel and when can I watch it. Good news is that you can watch the first episode of Burning Love right now by heading over to Yahoo’s comedy channel.

On Burning Love, Marino plays a firefighter who goes on The Bachelor style dating show to find love by dating twenty women at once with Black playing the host. The girls play all the clichés you have come to know (including plenty of grade school teachers and dental hygienists) and a few you will never see on the show, but would be hilarious if you did like a girl who does not what to be judged by her looks so she wears a bear costume (you will definitely recognize who is under the mask but it will be no fun if I spoiled you to who is it). Other girls out to woo Marino without a bear costume include Bell, Malin Akerman, Carla Gallo, and Sally Draper’s teacher that her dad nailed a couple seasons ago.

Even though I have not seen a second of The Bachelor or its many spinoffs the laughs are really universal and it is not only funnier than other The Bachelor parodies out there (Flavor of Love was a parody, not a real show, right?) but is funnier than any network comedy that aired in the past year. Thankfully the episodes are in the five to ten minute range so the jokes do not get old quick. New episodes are uploaded every Monday and Thursday at BurningLove.com (I am not sure how episodes there will end up being, but there were still about half the girls around by the fifth episode). If you are not sure about the first episode, at least stick with it until Marino takes the girls to a comedy club where Kristen Bell, who plays the religious one, has a drop the mic moment. Check out the trailer for Burning Love below:

Around the Tubes - 6/3/12

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on The Newsroom, The National History Bee, Ice Road Truckers, Cajan Pawn Stars, The Winner Is, Grimm, Veep, Miss USA, Taboo, Bill Bellamy, John Leguizamo, FEARnet, Peter Dinklage, Nurse Jackie, and Emmanuelle Chriqui.


- I think it is pretty clear that The Newsroom is the most anticipated show of the summer and arguable of all of 2012. HBO recently released a new promo and take a gander of it below:



- Tonight on History is The National History Bee hosted by Brian Unger and moderated by Al Roker for the very first telecast of the academic quiz.

- Later this weekend on History is the sixth season premiere of Ice Road Truckers at 9:00 on Sunday. Then on Monday there will be a sneak peek of the return of Cajun Pawn Stars at 10:30 before settling into its regular timeslot on Wednesday at 9:00.

- For those that still cannot get enough singing competitions, NBC recently announced another on: The Winner Is and it somehow sounds more confusing than The Voice. Here is how they describe it: The contestants will be judged by a special in-studio panel led by one celebrity judge (to be announced) as they compete for an ultimate cash prize of $1 million. In a unique twist, they will have the chance to negotiate a deal with their opponent. Before hearing their fate the contestants can choose to step out of the competition in exchange for a predetermined cash prize or continue on in the game.

- Coming to a DVD and/or Blu-Ray shelf (or Amazon) near you on 8/7 is the complete first season of Grimm. The set will come in limited edition packaging with exclusive Grimm collector cards and never before seen bonus material such as deleted scenes, Making Monsters featurette, an interactive creature guide (exclusive to the Blu-Ray) and more.



- The latest deleted scene from Veep was recently released, check it out below:



- The Miss USA pageant is this Sunday at 9:00 on NBC and the show will have more social components than ever before. You can even ask the final question via Twitter (#AskMissUsa). And of course there will be swimsuits.

- The new season of Taboo is set to hit the National Geographic Channel June 17 at 10:00 and the topics this season will include collecting murders’ memorabilia, the uncontrollable urge to one your own hair, binge drinking, teen sex, a man living without a face, an owner of 65,000 baloons, and a groom who kidnapped his bride to be.

- For those that wonder to themselves, whatever happened to Bill Bellamy, tune into Showtime Saturday at 8:00 to watch his latest comedy special Crazy, Sexy, Dirty.

- If that is not enough funny for you John Leguizamo’s one man show Ghetto Known will premiering July 13 on PBS at 9:00 (check your local listings).

- FEARnet has announced its June schedule and highlights include a Saw marathon on Father’s Day the 17th. Then on Thursday the 14th they will be presenting An Night with Bite featuring animal themed movies including The Werewolf (4:00), Bug (6:00), Red Water (8:00), Hyenas (10:00), and Boa at midnight.

- Sunday is the season finale of Game and Thrones and star of the show Peter Dinklage has already picked his next battle: saving animals. Peter, who has been a vegetarian since 16, is the national spokesman for Farm Sanctuary’s Walk for Farm Animals and filmed a new video to promote it and you can watch it over at walkforfarmanimals.org.

- This week Nurse Jackie was renewed for a fifth season by Showtime and it hired new showrunner Clyde Philips who most recently worked on Dexter. Production will begin later this year.

- Remember the seminal movie On the Line? Well the two stars of the film are finally reuniting. Emmanuelle Chriqui and Lance Bass are battling to see who can raise more money for their charities. If Emmanuelle wins, Lance will dress up as PooFu the dog (a costume he wore for one of his first jobs in Laurel, Mississippi) and Emmanuelle will walk him though LA's Runyon Canyon, the area's most popular hiking and dog walking spot. But if Lance wins, Emmanuelle will have to hit the stage and sing with Steel Panther at the House of Blues on Sunset Boulevard. For information, head over to power-of-2.org.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 6/02/12

Quote of the Week: We've all had nights in our life where we've made mistakes for free. (Pete, Mad Men)

Song of the Week: You Really Got Me – The Kinks (Mad Men)

Preview Picture of the Week:



Big News of the Week: Summer Television Begins: Summer is the time to get caught up on television you missed (on my to watch list are Dexter seasons 3-6, the final season of Big Love, the first season of Game of Thrones, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, Star Wars: The Clone Wars season 3, and the most recent season of The Middle) there are a few new shows on television that I will be checking out in real time. Here is what I’ll be watching this summer and their premiere dates.

Mondays
June 11, 9:00 – Bunheads (ABC Family)

Tuesdays
June 5, 8:00 - Pretty Little Liars (ABC Family)
June 5, 10:00 – Franklin and Bash (TNT)

Wednesdays
June 6, 10:00 – Royal Pains (USA)
June, 13, 10:00 – Dallas (TNT)

Thursdays
June 28 at 10:00 – Wilfred (FX)

Sundays
June 17, 9:00 – Falling Skies (TNT)
July 15, 8:00 – Leverage (TNT)
July 1, 10:00 - Weeds (Showtime)


The Killing: I have tried to avoid complaining about The Killing this season as I just patiently wake until Rosie Larson’s killers is revealed and then never watch this show ever again. But this week was so absurd I could no longer bite my tongue. I should have known something was going to go horribly wrong when the teacher showed up in the previously segment because the show came off the tracks in the episode where he got beat up by Stan, then exonerated of killing Rosie (surprise: he was saving Muslims from genital mutilation) leaving the cops with no suspects and back at square one. But the biggest slap to the dace is the whole metal institution storyline where we learn Linden was way too unstable to get a job back on the police force let alone be the lead detective of a high profile murder. She should have not even been allowed out, especially let out early. But apparently the mental health industry is just as inept in Seattle as their police department. Luckily they did insert a good laugh into the episode after Gwen mentioned the basketball video went viral yet only had about 1,500 views. A real viral video gets that many views in a minute, not a couple of hours.
You can download The Killing on iTunes.

Mad Men: I am not a fan of shock for the sake of shock, and you can say a lot of things about Mad Men like it is boring or slow moving, but it always avoids shock value (Peggy’s surprised baby and Don’s murder dream aside). Then Joan became a high class hooker. This really made her and Pete unredeemable (not that Pete was al that redeemable in the first place). Really all the partners but Don were complicit. And why would Joan want to be a partner with the people that pimped her out? The money argument for her son is moot because Roger would certainly make sure he is cared for. And why was Roger on board? Is he really okay with his former girl toy and baby mama giving herself away to some skeevy executive? I bet if Megan did not succumb to the casting couch this episode, I would not be surprised if that is coming soon. Unless Megan is part of the new generation who actually value their morals over quick advancement.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Hatfields and McCoys: Can something both exceed and fall short of expectations? Even with quality actors Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton at the lead I feared that it would still be this low budget style mini-series, but it was nice to see History went all out (except casting from the J. Crew catalogue circa 1880 for the Romeo and Juliet storyline and if the dog was any more well groomed he would have had been wearing a Petsmart hanker chief). But on the other hand it still paled in comparison to Deadwood which was set around the same time. But I am completely on board for more History miniseries. And may I suggest their next one focus on another famous American rivalry: the Raymond Burr / Alexander Hamilton dual.

Free Download of the Week: Nothing's Real But Love – Rebecca Ferguson

Deal of the Week: Modern Classic for $2.99: Apparently Amazon’s definition of “modern” is the last twenty years because Achtung Baby and Low End Theory are both deeply discounted. You can also gram even more modern albums by Kanye West and Coldplay for the low price.



New Album Release of the Week: That's Why God Made the Radio - The Beach Boys

New DVD Release of the Week: Pretty Little Liars: The Complete Second Season

Video of the Week: Whenever there is a gratuitous shot in a movie trailer showing as much of a woman's backside as allowed by the FCC, they might as well tattoo on the posterior "This movie suck but we are hoping you will still come to see this derriere on the big screen." With that said, The Apparition may have the greatest horrible tagline ever in the history of cinema: "Once You Believe... You Die"



Of course since the booty in question belongs to Ashley Greene, I already have this movie added to my queue.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family: I am probably more excited than an old dude should be for the return of the show, but Pretty Little Liars hit is strike going into the homestretch of the second season. Now that we know who A is (Mona) now we get to try to figure out who is also part of “The A-Team” and who is the shadowy figure behind her (meaning my theory that Allison is not as dead as they would have us believe is still alive as I think Allison is). Oh yeah, we also have another murder mystery to solve after Mya showed up dead in the final seconds of the finale.

Yeah, You Can’t Front on That

Like most people, I came to Paul’ Boutique late and let face it, as great as it was, License to Ill was a novelty album for sophomoric guys. Really, Check Your Head is when I became a true fan of the Beastie Boys and that is why it is this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. Released just eight months after Nevermind, the Beastie Boys rode the wave of alternative music mixing live instrumentation, the first time they played on the majority of the songs since their punk beginnings while keeping their hip-hop esthetics. Check Your Head pushed the boundaries of rap as far as Paul’s Boutique did but was assessable right off the bat.

Pass the Mic was a great introduction to the Boys new sound as the first single from the album, the passing of the mic would satisfy the hip-hop purists while attracting the new alternative crowd with the fuzzed out guitars. Later in the album they would go full out rock stars with Gratitude (setting the stage for one of their biggest hits Sabotage off their next album). And much like Sabotage, the song is built around a killer bass groove courtesy of MCA.

Even though they plugged in for the album, there are plenty of clever samples that made Paul’s Boutique revolutionary. So What-Cha Want is built off of When the Levee Breaks. And like a few songs on Paul’s Boutique, Finger Lickin’ Good drops the track and just lets a couple seconds of Bob Dylan’s Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues before going back to the weird mix of Aquarius and Dance to the Music. The Biz vs. The Nuge lives up to the name as it is just Biz Markie singing over Ted Nugent’s Homebound. And what would Pass the Mic be without the Jimmie Walker famous “Dynamite!”

They push their sound even further in the second half of the album when they go back to their punk roots with punky version of Sly Stone’s Time for Livin'. Something’s Got to Give is a trippy ride. They even throw in some funky instrumentals for good measure. We may have lost a true legend a couple weeks ago in MCA, but his work with the Beastie Boys will live on forever with the great albums he left behind.

I Want My Music Television - 5/31/12

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

Lost In the World - Kanye West



Sure it has been over a year since Kanye West released his last album and has even dropped one with Jay-Z since then, but you can rush the man when it comes to his art. I’m a bit surprised he does not take Chinese Democracy style time to record new albums.


Payphone - Maroon 5



When I first heard the new Maroon 5 song I thought to myself, who uses a payphone anymore? It is nice that they explain this at the beginning of the video that his cell phone is broken. What is not explained is why when they got out of the bank, why does Adam Levine say to the cops, we are bankers. That could have alleviated the whole car chase sequence.


Ships in the Night - Mat Kearney



With the intro talking about how many miles, I was like, “what?” But as soon as Mat Kearney appeared on screen in the different locations, I realized that this was a very clever, if not extremely time consuming, concept.


Stuck on You - Meiko



If only I could cook, I would sure like to try Meiko’s recipe here but I am against any recipe that calls for a prep time over whatever time it takes to make a grilled-cheese sandwich.

Today We’re Younger than We’ll Ever Gonna Be

In the past I have talked a lot about “quirky pop,” the sub-genre that was popularized by iPod commercials in the middle of last decade which is too weird for mass consumption but still manages to be highly assessable. I am not entirely sure who created the sub-genre, but Regina Spektor certainly perfected it. The Soviet born pianist has an eclectic delivery and sometime crams more words than you would expect into a line but still manages to deliver a beautiful song almost every time.

Now on her sixth album (and third since Fidelity became the closest thing as a smash hit for her) Regina has not changed much for What We Saw from the Cheap Seats. Mike Elizondo, who produced four songs off her last album and is best known for his work with Dr. Dre and Fiona Apple’s Extraordinary Machine, is back full time co-producing with Spektor which could explain why this album sounds a bit tighter production wise than her previous albums. But that is not necessary a bad thing like on Don’t Leave Me (Ne me quitte pas) which is an updated version of a song from her second album Songs (but sans any English in the title). Where the original is just Regina and her piano, the piano parts on the updated version is replaced by synthesizers and drums and a brass section is added. This may upset purists, but the song is much better with the makeover.

Even with the tighter production, the album still retains its fair share of quirkiness, for better or worse. The worse is on Open where Regina makes these weird and terrifying gasping sounds. But her beat boxing, scatting part of Oh Marcello works much better. I am still undecided on the loud pounding blows during first single All the Rowboats. And only Regina Spektor could tell the title character of Ballad of a Politician to “Shake what your mama gave you.” Though quirkiness if what people are drawn to Regina Spektor for, she still shows that she can write and perform more traditional and beautiful love songs like How.

Song to Download – Don't Leave Me (Ne me quitte pas)

What We Saw from the Cheap Seats gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.