Most people today when they hear the name Flavor Flav they think of a modern day minstrel show who dated Brigitte Nielsen, renamed a bunch of hood rats and embarrassed their mothers on cable television, and will soon be the latest roastee (not to be confused with the drunken Toasteee) in Comedy Central’s Roast of Flavor Flav, which hasn’t been all that funny in recent years. As hard is it to do so, I still try to remember Flav as the greatest hype man ever for the seminal rap group Public Enemy who album, Fear of a Black Planet, is this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame.
Public Enemy had a lot to live up to back at the beginning of the nineties. Their previous album, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back netted five million in sales, big numbers for a rap group back then. And the previous summer, Fight the Power, which is quite possibly the greatest rap song ever recorded, showed up on the Do the Right Thing Soundtrack (and also shows up as the last track on Fear of a Black Planet). Even though Flav told us not to believe the hype, this album definitely lived up to it.
Even though he is mostly known for getting the party started on stage, Flavor Flav showed on the album that he can indeed rap as 911 Is a Joke remains as one of the group’s best and Can’t Do Nottin’ for Ya Man isn’t that bad either. But it still remains the Chuck D show. And he had plenty in his crosshair on this album including the movie industry (Burn Hollywood Burn), the IRS (Who Stole the Soul?), people against inter-racial dating (the title track), the music industry (Leave this Off Your Fu*kin Charts) and most notable Elvis who, “never meant to be straight out racist) and of course in that same vain John Wayne.
Lost sometimes in the greatness of the rap group is the group responsible for producing the album, The Bomb Squad. They managed to mix multiple samples (something you will never see again thanks to new licensing laws) ranging from your typical funk grooves of James Brown to even the Beatles with the guitar solo from the end of Let’s Go Crazy thrown in for good measure and mashed them up into some of the best noise around, most of the time unable to make out the original sample unless you listen closely.
Fear of a Black Planet also earned the dubious title as being the first album ever that my parents banned me from listening to thanks to the “Parental Advisory” sticker on the cover. And since our lone CD player at the time was in the living room, it was easily enforced by them. Luckily there are friends out there with CD to tape converters and walkmans to get my PE fix during those years until finally getting a CD player of my own. But I wonder what my parents would say now that Fear of a Black Planet was chosen by the Library of Congress to be added to the National Recorded Registry.
For years Common was regarded as the greatest MC that no one was listening to. Then fellow Chicagoan Kanye West hit it big as a rapper and producer, signed Common to his GOOD Music record label an produced the majority of the 2005 Be which went on to be the best selling album in the rappers decade plus career netted him a Grammy for Rap Album of the Year. The formula is pretty much the same on the follow-up Finding Forever finds Common rapping about the streets, politics, and girls over radio friendly beats courtesy mostly by Kanye.
Like the last album, unlike almost every other rapper today, Common keeps songs with the “Featuring” songs to a minimum with West as the only guest rapper on the ode to Chicago Southside. The song is decent aside from the ill advised chorus and Common lets Kanye steal the show with his Back to the Future themed verse. But Common doesn’t let the most entertaining new artist in recent memory, Lily Allen, do the same on Drivin’ Me Wild thanks to Common being able to mention OK Go’s treadmill video and astronaut lady” in the same verse. The track continues Kanye’s embrace of more eclectic music (see his latest mixtape which features samples of Daft Punk, Tom York and Peter Bjorn and John) with Allen’s voice and a snare drum as the main instruments.
West also brought his A-game, and DJ Premier, for the old school standout track The Game where Common excels on the mike calling out the most obnoxious people on television today, those that appear on My Super Sweet Sixteen and later namedrops an actual achiever Akeelah. Here is a song that should be played in basement parties from years to come.
Much like the previous album, Finding Forever missteps when Common brings in Bilal and pulls D’Angelo from obscurity for his odes to women. And I’m not entirely sure if the Nina Simone sample on Misunderstood works or not. What did work was the drums from 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover on the album closer Forever Begins. But in the ends, as long as Kanye West is behind the boards, Common may be the first rapper that can still make credible music into his forties.
Mondays and Wednesdays have been rough on me because I have to spend four hours in class (then add an extra hour plus in the car getting there) so instead of not posting today here is something quick which may become a regular segment for when I don’t have time to write something of my usual length.
Being known as the music guy in my real life as well on the web, I on occasion have people tell me they just got an iPod but have nothing on it and ask what song they should buy to fill it up. Some regret as I go on and on with great songs that many people may have missed and that is the basis of the new segment here at the 9th Green, Feed Your iPod. Hopefully I am able to find a copy of the song so you can listen before you buy.
The inaugural song actually landed at number one on my list of the Best Songs of 2003, The Seed (2.0) by the Roots and Cody ChestnuTT. The Roots always have the best grooves but the great guitar riff is from ChestnuTT, who originally recorded a much more lo-fi version of his ode to a mistress who doesn’t practice safe sex. But once you take the original and add some great ?uestlove drums and solid rap from Black Though and you have an instant classic. Even ChestnuTT sounds more energized on 2.0. I reference the song whenever a conversation turns to baby names saying, “If Mary drops my baby girl tonight I will name her Rock n Roll” which usually leads to crickets chirping. So give a listen then if you are ever in my presence when I crack that joke you can give me a courtesy chuckle.
The Seed 2.0 - The Roots and Cody ChestnuTT
(For the unedited version of the song you can check out the Universal Music Group's YouTube version which of course they won't let people embed because they hate free advertising)
Got a song you think everyone should feed their iPods? Send me an e-mail (see sidebar) along with a short paragraph why people should download it and/or what it means to you. This segment is meant to highlight songs that may have slipped thought the cracks when released or maybe album tracks that should have been released as a single. So no Layla, Gin and Juice, or Crash into Me needed.
Greek: It is getting to be the most entertaining part of each episode is the blink and you miss it cameo of LonelyGirl15, Jessica Rose as a bumbling legacy. She is the biggest name on the show (which really doesn’t say much) and she has combined maybe a total of thirty seconds of screen time. For those who blinked, this week she was the only one out of step during the invitation dance then awkwardly grinded on some dude. The rest of the episode was not as entertaining. It would have been better if they gone cheesy sitcom and has Casey and Cappie go back and forth trying to find a better date. And I was a little disappointed that his roommate’s little virgin get together didn’t have any chicks for Rusty to hook up with, specially the frozen Asian chick from the mixer in the first episode. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.
Rescue Me: Much better episode this week as they look like they are going to start some new storylines as the first ones this season weren’t all that entertaining. The new Probie, err, the new Shawn, err, Shawn is definitely working out well but the real fireworks with Tommy look like they will happen next week. But the basketball scene was definitely hilarious. Although the ending with Leslie finding out Mike has two moms then burning down his house was just bizarre.
Lil’ Bush: Well that was a lackluster end to an otherwise lackluster season. Comedy Central may want to think about not having a second season or they may have to change their name to Moderately Funny Central. Download the entire first season of Lil’ Bush on iTunes.
Pirate Master: Well I was surprised it didn’t happen earlier but CBS finally pulled the plug on the show which has been relegated to its broadband channel, Innertube. I forgot all about it until I started this post but I may check that out tonight. I’d ask you all not to spoil me but I haven’t seen anyone talk about the show so there looks to be no need to.
Pick of the Week: Shark Week, all week on the Discover Channel: As I have mentioned before, this week marks the twentieth anniversary of Shark Week starting today and running until August 4th. Here is a quick run down of some of the shows you can expect:
For anyone who has watched reality television in the last couple years and you will see just what some people would do to get their hands on a million dollars. Well imagine if someone put a million dollars on your head, or more specifically your heart. Well Vegas entertainer turned mobster turned snitch Buddy “Aces” Israel (Jeremy Piven) learned in the action packed Smokin' Aces. Well at least he would have known how that felt if he wasn’t self-quarantined in a penthouse in Tahoe with more than enough women, drugs, and bodyguards which includes Common.
Starting out just as clueless as Israel are the Feds (Ryan Reynolds, Ray Liotta) that are assigned to bring in the mobster in so he can testify against his former cohorts. It isn’t until they get to the hotel that the million dollar mark on Israel has brought out a wide array of hired assassins that have descended on the town hoping to collect the heart of the rat before he is able to tell is story. And what an array of hoodlums they are including a female duo (Alicia Keys, Taraji P. Henson) who come complete with the biggest gun despite being the smallest physically. Then there is a master of disguise that can transform himself into almost anyone and how he does it extremely creepy. Even creepier is the torture expert played by Nestor Carbonell who has a disturbing run-in with Lost co-star Matthew Fox in a wig as bad as the one from his mullet flashbacks.
But the grizzliest of the mercenaries are the Tremor Brothers, born of the same mother but all have different dads and even though there are numerous great elevator scenes throughout the movie, their exit out of it ranks the highest as they sport some unconventional weapons for assassins. The neo-Nazi brother also have a run in with a trio of bail bondsman (Ben Affleck, Peter Berg, Martin Henderson) who are hired by a lawyer (Jason Bateman) who like to wear things that most men don’t to retrieve the mob boss from skipping bail.
The action comes quick and frequently with just a few a few soft spots like when the grandmother and her little too excited grandson show up. And you couldn’t ask for much better cast than this, you know it is great when Piven is the weak link (he goes overboard a couple times). The big surprise is Keys who more than pulls off the female assassin role (although I’d still rather her stick to music) and Affleck who is much more palatable as a bit player than the leading man role he undeservingly gotten lately. And for a few laughs, check out the bloppers on the DVD to see just how bad of a pool player Affleck is.
Two decades ago there was a show called Thirtysomething that followed a bunch of couples as they built and raised their families. But a lot has changed in those twenty years since as more and more people or waiting well into their thirties to settle down and start a family. Seeing that trend, the network that brought you Flavor of Love, Hogan Knows Best and I Love the (Insert Decade) is getting into the scripted business (well that’s not to say Scott Baio Is 45… and Single isn’t completely scripted, but anyways) with I Hate My 30’s.
Now network television has aired some extremely unfunny sitcoms in recent years like Emily’s Reasons Why Not, Four Kings, the upcoming Cavemen and Two and a Half Men, but none of them are as bad as I Hate My 30’s. The show centers on an office where everyone just happens to be in their early thirties and single aside from your token punk-ish twenty-something secretary and for some reason there is also a friend of what I think is the mail boy who for some reason pops up. And the narrator is named Dr. Rod (no, seriously, that is what they call him) who works at a coffee shop that is sadly more Starbucks than Central Perk.
It is doubtful that you will recognize any of the actors, which tells you something about the quality of acting considering they are playing thirty yet this is their first big gig, aside from the vain token hot chick in the office played by Jill Ritchie, who has an older brother named Bob (you may know him better as Kid Rock) and you may actually remember her from her stint as the Bluth’s publish on Arrested Development. But the first episode centers on Megahn Perry, who you may or may not remember from her one episode guest spot on Sabrina the Teenage Witch as her co-worker plan her thirtieth birthday party and hilarity doesn’t ensue.
Verdict: This show sucks massively. In fact, if you are in your thirties you may want to consider suing for defamation of character. If for some reason you still want to watch the show, I Hate My 30’s airs Thursday at 10:30 on VH1 and you can download it on iTunes (where you can get the first episode for free).
Today I had planned to give a preview of I Hate My 30’s (which debuts tonight at 10:30 on VH1 or download it for free on iTunes), but we interrupted the regularly sheculed post for this very important video that you must watch:
Kanye West has been known for making multiple videos for the same song, this time he commissioned comedian Zach Galifianakis to make another video for the first single Can’t Tell Me Nothing from the upcoming album Graduation. And how can you better fully visualize a rap video than to film at Galifianakis’ North Carolina farm. I’m not sure why no one has utilized this idea since “Weird Al” Yankovic combined the two for Amish Paradise (and the up-close profile view with his buddy looks like the original Gangstas Paradise). And if Zach doing farm work wasn’t enough, the best part is the cloggers in the blue dresses. Of course this isn’t Galifianakis’ first foray into lip-syncing as he popped up in Fiona Apple’s Not About Love (so for those keeping track at home, Kanye has stolen Fiona’s producer and video director, she may want to keep a close eye on her hairdresser) which landed at number five on my list of the Best Videos of 2006 which I added below as well as Amish Paradise because, well I can:
A couple weeks ago I posted a press release about Shark Week on The Discovery Channel (see here, near the bottom) which starts up next week, goiung from July 29 to August 4. Below is one of the pictures from the event:
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Also coming soon to The Discovery Channel is the return of Meerkat Manor, here's a press release:
ANIMAL PLANET’S MEERKAT MANOR RETURNS AUGUST 10; WILL FLOWER STAY IN POWER, WILL MOZART LAND HER MAN AND WILL CARLOS’ SLEAZY ANTICS GET HIM IN TROUBLE...AGAIN?
-- Families of Meerkats Return Friday, August 10, for a Sizzling New Season of Love, Lust, Treachery and Drama as Colorful Characters of the Kalahari Fight for Survival in the Desert --
When we last left off… It wasn’t too long ago that the Whiskers meerkat family was embroiled in a fierce battle against their biggest rivals, the Commandos. Last we saw the Whiskers, Mozart’s pups had been killed by the Commandos during a burrow raid, and the Whiskers were facing a long harsh winter.
Which brings us to the present-day Kalahari Desert… Now, kicked out of their home, Flower, the matriarch of the Whiskers clan, must lead her brood through a perilous journey to mark and settle into their new manor, survive the weather and stave off the threat of predation. The Whiskers must face new rivalry posed by their neighbors from hell, the Zappa gang, and Flower is determined to lead her brood to victory no matter what it takes! And, the plot thickens when the fighting persists within the Whiskers’ own inner circle. Ever the dysfunctional family, the Whiskers find themselves involved in confrontation, control, love affairs and more drama than ever! With daughters sleeping around and sisters fighting over the same main man, it’s no wonder that it’s a slippery slope surviving desert life. Fans will see who lives, who dies and which ‘kat winds up as top dog.
2-2-2 Each Friday night during the sizzling 13-episode season of MEERKAT MANOR, pop in for fur pulling, conflict, romantic tension and cut-throat competition. The Whiskers soap opera unfolds Fridays at 8:30 PM ET/PT beginning August 10. For a sneak peek of the premiere episode, viewers can virtually visit the meerkats online at http://animal.discovery.com/ for one full week beginning August 3.
About the ‘Kats… Standing tall at on only one foot high, the meerkat is a small member of the mongoose family that thrives in one of the driest places on Earth – the Kalahari Desert. On the surface, the meerkats seem like adorable creatures, but do their cute façades mask their true colors? These highly social creatures are precocious and tough enough to send a cape cobra slinking into a hole.
About Meerkat Manor… MEERKAT MANOR is produced for Animal Planet International by Oxford Scientific Films (OSF). Caroline Hawkins is the executive producer for OSF. Mick Kaczorowski is the executive producer for Animal Planet U.S.
Many artists like to say it is all about the music all the while charging three digest to their concerts and licensing their music for even the most inane products. Then there is Prince who, ever since ending his long time battle with label Warner Bros, has been the most progressive artist in getting his music out including giving copies of his latest albums out to anyone who buys a ticket to his concerts, which are reasonably priced when his contemporaries are charging obscene prices. His latest attempt to get his music out came when he struck a deal with British paper The Mail who attacked Prince’s latest album, Planet Earth, to one of its editions last week.
Naturally Columbia Records, who is handling the world wide distribution of the album wasn’t too thrilled and decided not to release the album in England. Not like Prince cares because all he wants is for people to hear the music. And ever since changing his name back from an unpronounceable symbol, there has been some great music including the grove of Musicology, the funk of Black Sweat, and even his contribution to the Happy Feet Soundtrack was pretty catchy.
And that is what makes Planet Earth so disappointing. Certainly other artist would like to produce an album this good a year away from their thirtieth anniversary in music, but considering his recent work, this album falls flat. And that is even with the Purple One bring back past collaborators Shelia E., a few members from the New Power Generation, and Wendy and Lisa (no word on if Diamond and/or Pearl will show up in a video from the album). Although Planet Earth is still better than his nineties, symbol era.
The album opens and closes with Prince’s thoughts on current hop button topics including the fragile Earth on the title track and war on Resolution that aren’t good enough to convert people to his cause. And that is not because Prince is like many musicians like Sum 41 or Maroon 5 that have jumped on political bandwagon in recent years because everyone else is as Prince has made some of the best socially conscious songs like the classics Sign O the Times and Money Don’t Matter 2Night or the more recent Cinnamon Girl. It just the new songs won’t be added to that list anytime soon.
Prince does some retreading on the album too. The One U Wanna C might as well have been called I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man 2 complete with the line like, “you ain’t no one night stand” but this could end up bringing down the house when performed live. What won’t though is Mr. Goodnight where he bring back half rap, half talk come on’s like Gett Off but they just aren’t as good now that Prince has gone and found religion, so no talk of Almond Joys instead he just wants to watch Chocolat. Yawn.
Again, that is not to say the album is bad, it is just not Prince good. Guitar shows he can still handle the ax and will make you thank someone that Prince hasn’t found someone he loves more than his guitar yet, though still not as blistering as anything from Purple Rain, or his solo from While My Guitar Gently Weeps from the year he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Somewhere Here on Earth has a cool jazzy feel to it thanks to some well placed trumpet and would be best played in a smoky club. Hopefully Planet Earth is just a test run for something classic that Prince will unveil for his thirtieth anniversary next year.
After the conclusion of the first season of The Osbornes I have avoided the follow around has beens on their day to day lives at all cost. Yet seeing the commercial for Scott Baio is 45… and Single that VH1 put into regular rotation for what seems for over a month made the show seem disturbingly entertaining. So with my tail between my legs I decided to check it out against my best judgment. The show is exactly what you would expect from the ads with a very out of touch, narcissistic, has been who gets a life coach to help him figure out why he has commitment issues.
The first episode is an hour long mostly because it takes a while for Chachi to list all his famous conquests which he is happy to repeat a couple times to anyone and everyone. Of course, even though his life coach is sending him to see past girlfriends, don’t expect him to visit any of the ones that still can get acting jobs. So instead we get Charles visiting former Happy Days co-star Joanie who will apparently be followed by in future weeks by a laundry list of chicks that posed naked in different magazines. Oh, and Nicole Eggert.
Despite all that, the show is almost entertaining in an it is totally scripted and the scenes are staged kind of way. C’mon, the cameras just happen to be inside when Bob Loblaw shows up. But my favorite “reality” moment is when his agent wants to have a private conversation yet there is still sound when they talk as the camerman shoots threw the blinds The Office style. And this was after his coincidental run in with Clint Howard. I guess Richie was too busy. Then there is Baio’s Entourage (and yes I capitalized that for a reason) which just so happens to include Kevin Arnold’s older brother. What, you couldn’t get Willie Aames? Well at least he got in a call to Fonzie.
Verdict: Luckily now that all of Chachi’s name dropping is out of the way, the show gets cut down to the more digestible half an hour. Even then I’m not sure if I could stomach a whole season, but I have to at least stick around until the Eggert appearance as she was one of my earliest crushes. Scott Baio s 45… and Single airs Sundays at 10:30 on VH1 and, since it is VH1, will most likely be repeated constantly throughout the week. You can also download the first episode for free on iTunes.
Before I talk about the past week of television I have a favor to ask you, my readers. To better understand you my audience, I have wanted to create a survey so I can make the 9th Green a better experience for all. As luck would have it, this past week Mike from Quibblo.com sent me an e-mail about his site that allows you to create surveys, polls, and quizzes. So I created a survey, The 9th Green Readers Poll, and if you subscribe to this blog or just stop by a couple times a month, please take a minute or two to fill it out and thanks to Mike for the heads up on his site and to anyone who takes the survey.
Big News of the Week: The Emmy Nominations Are Announced: Yawn.
Greek: The good news on the second episode, there was nothing as boring as the second half of the premiere. The bad news: there was nothing as interesting as the first half of last week. But I’ll continue to watch if only the sorority president is what I like to refer to as moderately attractive. Plus Casey and her new Little Sis trying to out Mean Girls each other could prove to be highly entertaining. And does anyone want to take the over/under on when it comes out that Calvin is a gay homosexual? I’ll set the line at half way through the first season. Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.
Pirate Master: Leave it to Pirate Master to come up with a cool twist, bringing back the Ghost Pirates, only to have it completely ruined. C’mon, you have the chance to avenge being cut adrift and you let the scientist/exotic dancer lose the key. With the amount of Alpha Males on the team, how do you let him handle the key at all? So instead of a major shake up we get yet another week of the creepy dreadlocked dude and his cronies leading. One would expect something major happening next week because if not they will have more people with black spots at pirate court then people voting, but this is Pirate Master so expect them to do the wrong thing.
Rescue Me: I am beginning to think the show has hit the wall this season. Most of the storylines have fallen flat this year with the most entertaining with the fraud ended abruptly. Maybe the second wind is coming when the new Probie the new Shawn enters the house whose no grunt work clause with undoubtedly cause friction with Tommy and certainly Old Shawn won’t be too happy. And as much as I rather still have the old chief, the new chief definitely had an entertain introduction, should be interesting to see how his dinner goes.
Lil’ Bush: Finally something funny on this show when Satan says they write all the music for the American Karaokers. Although you have to wonder why all the cartoons on Comedy Central portray the Dark Lord as a gay dude. Download the current season of Lil’ Bush on iTunes.
World Series of Pop Culture: I seem people talk ad nausea about this show and I left some comments showing my feeling for the show so I am going to talk about what I think of the show here and that will be the last time I talk of this show (at least until next year). I do not watch it because the World Series of Pop Culture is a complete and utter sham because they did not invite me to participate because I could totally win that tournament on my own. In the very few times I have happened upon the show I have yet not gotten a question wrong before inevitably switching the channel out of frustration of how much I would destroy the current contestants. Although I will concede that the one tiebreaker I saw - something like there have been ten winners of the Best Supporting Actors in the past fifteen years, name them - which was insanely hard, but it is not like I would ever have the need for a tiebreaker anyways. So VH1, if you want that show to have any once of credibility, be sure to invite me next year.
Pick of the Week: I Hate My 30’s, Thursday, 10:30, VH1: Ever since unrolled I Love the 80’s I have been clamoring for them to do an I Hate the 80’s version. So I was excited to hear the start of I Hate the 30’s so I could hear Hal Sparks and the dude from Ed rip apart those annoying Flappers and wax poetic about The Great Depression. Well that was until I realized it is not I Hate the 30’s but instead I Hate My 30’s, a scripted show. Color me less excited. If you cannot wait until Thursday you can download the first episode for free on iTunes.
When scouring the internet for yesterday’s Don’t Download These Videos I planned to show the video for Bubbly by newcomer Colbie Caillat to once again remind you that you can currently download this song for free on iTunes (well as long as the ad to the right still features her) but I couldn’t because, much like all their videos, the Universal Group has chosen the “Embedded Disable by Request.” I have never understood why anyone would utilize that function because it seems like people are saying, “I want you to check this out but please no free publicity.” If you ever check out YouTube’s most viewed videos for the day, if there is a fan loaded videos of the same music video it is always higher than those put up by UMG that don’t let you embed them. Well this is of course before UMG inevitably has YouTube remove the fan uploaded versions.
Of course I’m sure if you were to ask the record executives why they do this they go back to their usual defense is that doing so would hurt record sales. Yeah because I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that decided not to buy a song or record because a very low quality version of the video it is readily available on some dudes MySpace page. What is really bad is that it not at all hard to get around the “Embedded Disable by Request” thing. Granted I just choose not to do so with these music videos because I make a note not to piss off anyone who is litigation happy. So here is my plea to the UMG, please allow your videos to be embedded, not only will this not hurt your record sales; the more visibility of your music videos will undoubtedly increase sales.
Ms. Caillet’s video isn’t the only video recently that I haven’t been able to highlight because of the dreaded “Embedded Disable by Request” thing. High on the list is the video for Ryan Adam’s Halloweenhead that could have become a viral hit with quirky lyrics and old people dancing but lost that chance thanks to the similarly Walk it Out mash-up the floated around the web last week. UMG, you could have had that buzz with Halloweenhead, which came out earlier, but no on saw because people couldn’t be spread around the web because we couldn’t embed it.
Then there is the new Katharine McPhee song Love Story, which I declared the best song from her otherwise lackluster album. Again here is another song that has gotten zero buzz because UMG won’t let use feature it on out blogs. Granted I wanted to show this video so I could talk about how the further into obscurity McPhee falls, the less cloths she wear. Unfortunately she isn’t attractive enough to make the whole sex sells thing to work. Case in point, she is relegated to the cover of the third rate Men’s magazine Stuff the same month the sometimes moderately attractive Hilary Duff gets the cover of Maxim.
So for those of you that aren’t too lazy to click links here are the previously mentioned videos on YouTube that I am not allowed to embed:
On a completely unrelated not, to better understand you my audience, I have wanted to create a survey so I can make the 9th Green a better experience for all. As luck would have it, this past week Mike from Quibblo.com sent me an e-mail about his site that allows you to create surveys, polls, and quizzes. So I created a survey, The 9th Green Readers Poll, and if you subscribe to this blog or just stop by a couple times a month, please take a minute or two to fill it out and thanks to Mike for the heads up on his site.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
This song from Spoon is quite possibly my favorite song of the moment. And the video is so inane with its gratuitous mariachi band cameo and surprise ending it is worth watching again.
I believe this is the fourth video Snow Patrol has released in the past months and almost made a video of all the songs from their latest album. Yet for some reason the one single they haven’t released was my favorite from the disk, Make This Go On Forever. Oh well. Of course maybe they are filming it as I type this.
This isn’t the official video for the remix of the Amy Winehouse instant classic as you can tell from the obvious video clips of Jay-Z’s old videos and some sincing problems during Amy’s part but I wanted to highlight it just show you reason number 14 why Jat should have stayed retired. Seriously Hova, “I’m gonna OD until I’m at peace like Anna Nicole,” that makes your verse on Rihanna’s song sound like Blueprint era you.
Garbage releases their greatest hits package next week and like many bands before them they felt obligated to throw on new tracks that really don’t deserve the moniker “Greatest.” The only new song that I can think of that actually deserved to be on a Greatest Hits album would be Mary Jane’s Last Dance. But anyways. Back to the video, what’s sad that, even if it wasn’t their intention here, but whenever anyone shoots anything with a night vision camera, everyone will instantly start thinking of Paris Hilton (who I here is working on a new album, sorry kids with cancer she promised to help when she was done with jail, you will have to wait). And even if the song doesn’t really deserve to be on a greatest hits package, this song is still catchy.
Certainly with temperatures still going up and still plenty of time to hit the beach, local pool, or just on the top of your roof before your summer vacation ends to put some extra color on you body. Some people pass the time working on their tan with the latest trash novel but if you are like me you need some tunes to pass the time, preferable classic beach sounds from the catalog of Jack Johnson. For those who are looking to work something new into their rotation while waiting for a new disk from the surf folk king here is a suggestion, Colbie Caillat.
Born overlooking the Pacific, the twenty-one year old sounds like something best suited for a bonfire along the beach with her breezy acoustic songs with that invite you to sing a long. The best example of from her first album Coco is the infectious debut single Bubbly, which could get even the most annoyingly depressed emo dude to sing along after a couple listens. And if anyone has a karaoke party on the beach, this song should be a prerequisite.
Coco opens with Oxygen, a quintessential song about longing for that special person while trying to figure out how to tell them Colbie sing with just enough power in her voice you will be hoping everything works out and maybe hope that you are who she is singing about. Then there is One Fine Wire which bounces along and if you happen to out walking when this song comes on you may start bouncing like you were on a fine wire.
Caillat come from a decent pedigree, her father Ken co-produced the classic Fleetwood Mac album Rumors as well as the follow-up, Tusk. Though she was more than happy to take her dad’s advice, she balked at the chance to have her father recruit an all star band to help record with. Instead she took a more organic approach leading to an album that isn’t bogged down from overproduction. Caillat even built up her fan base organically, topping MySpace’s top unsigned artist list for a couple months. Coco does suffer a little bit if you are listening to it on repeat which may lead you to hitting the next button on some of the songs in the middle that start feeling repetitive like Realize with lyrics like “If you just realize, what I just realized” but Coco should be a decent soundtrack to the rest of your summer and maybe Caillet will continue to fill your warmer months for years to come.
Want to download Bubbly for free? The song is currently iTunes Free Single of the Week so as long as the banner below features Colbie, click on it to get the song for free. In fact you have my money back guarantee that you will love the song. If you like it, while you are in the iTunes story you can buy the whole album at the discounted price of $7.99, or if you prefer CD’s, Amazon is currently selling it for the same price (see below).
Surprisingly ESPN’s ESPY Awards have quickly become the most entertaining award show on the circuit these days. Sure there are some major flaws including that of the fans voting which has lead to a football dominated show thanks to the NFL being the most popular league, even though some of the times it doesn’t actually deserve the awards. And I was disappointed this year that they didn’t do their parade of the best of their respective sports this year like they did in the past. But that is made up for thanks to the best montage package each year as well as the emotional high because of the yearly Arthur Ashe Award for Courage segment. Here are some thoughts on this year’s festivities:
- Another glaring problem with the ESPY’s is that it is continually scheduled behind a baseball game leading the show to start late every year, granted the ten minutes this year was a lot better than the over a half an hour last year. And I also totally forgot the pre-show because, again, they relegated it to ESPN2. Oh well.
- The show starts off with shots of athletes in attendance as well as a gratuitous Kate Walsh sighting. Well at least Disney, who owns both ESPN and ABC, didn’t go overboard this year with its blatant synergy plugs with her being the only one this year.
- It is never a good sign how well your monologue is going when a reaction shot of Shaq not laughing at a Shaq and the Beanstalk joke gets a bigger laugh than any of your jokes. When will people realize that Adam Corolla was the genious behind The Man Show, not Jimmy Kimmel? Although TI sitting next to TO makes the least famous Jackson way be the most underappreciated joke since Uma/Oprah.
- At first I thought the whole shower sketch was just a ploy to see Danica Patrick wet but Frank Tarkanian with the towel had me on the floor. Yeah they went a long way for that joke but it was definitely worth it.
- Can we please stop pretending that Carmen Electra is hot? Her and all the chicks with clown boobs on the wrong side of thirty-five just need to go away sooner than later.
- LeBrentourage: good idea, bad execution. Too bad they couldn’t do a live action version, which would have been a lot more entertaining. But obviously there would been too many scheduling conflicts.
- We get our very first Jimmy V Perseverance Award this year. Great, another segment that will make me bawl like a twelve year old girl each year. And the inaugural recipient, NC State basketball coach Kay Yow, hit a little too close to home as she battle breast cancer for the third time.
- Ironic that they show Shawn Merriman, who got an invite to the show even though he got hit with a suspension this year for using a performance enhancing drugs, during Best Record Breaker considering Big Head Barry will most likely be up for the award next year.
- I had a little laugh when they chose Heartbreaker to play during Best Female Athlete. That is slightly sexist. Speaking of sexist, the award goes to the hottest chick in the field (full disclosure: I think I voted for Taryne Mowett for that very reason). Then Kate Walsh embarrasses herself by not even being able to pronounce the winner’s name even though they just said her name just seconds before segment. Seriously, they gave this girl her own show?
- Then there was the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage this year handed out to Trevor Ringland and Dave Cullen, a Catholic and Protestant both from Northern Ireland who are both active in Peace Players, an organization devoted to bridge social divides through sport. For more on the program or to donote, check out their website.
- Not the best idea to follow the Arthur Ashe Award with LeBron James materialism obsessed song set to Bobby Brown’s My Prerogative.
- Ugg, another Dane Cook sighting. It is like the more exposure he gets, the less funny he becomes.
- Did they seriously announce Franco as the dude from The Bronx Is Burning? Did anyone actually watch that? Certainly more people know him as the dude from Rescue Me.
- Great moment backstage with Kevin Durant backstage talking about his ESPY for Best College Athlete with, out of nowhere, Greg Oden jumps into frame to brag about getting second. Too band Grampa Oden will be stuck in the Pacific Northwest because this may be the last time we see him.
- Who invited Kelly Clarkson? Usually they pair up the athletes with actors so there is at least someone up there that can read teleprompters (Kate Walsh not withstanding). But it was funny when the random dude who turns left for a living opened up the card and tilted towards Kelly to read, only to announce the winner himself.
- LaDainian Tomlinson wins Best Male Athlete? Yeah I would vote for him as the Best Fantasy Player but not Best Male Athlete. Rodger Federer was robbed.
- The end musical number was a little cluttered with Macy Grey, the Dap Kings, Rocco DuLucia, and Common all taking turns. But it is not like the night is about music.
Two years ago today was the very first Lyrics Quiz I ever had here at the 9th Green. Actually it was two years and five days ago as the first quiz took place on the tenth before it moved to its regular spot on the fifteenth of each month. That very first quiz was taken from artist that performed during the Live 8 concerts and it is only apropos that on the anniversary of the Lyrics Quiz I would dedicate this month to another charity event, Live Earth. Certainly we can argue whether these concerts did any good but one thing I’m sure we can all agree on is that there was plenty of great music. So as customary of any Lyrics Quiz, please post your guesses, title and artist, in the comment section (or e-mail me) and if you are correct I will unbold the lyric and give you credit. Bonus points to anyone who guesses to the artist(s) who preformed the song at Live Earth if not done by the original artist. The Lyrics Quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please do not use anything besides your own meandering mind to help you up with the answers. Now onto the Lyrics Quiz:
Hints:
17. This artist said at Live Earth that he was no longer waiting for change.
21. This band touch on global warning with their latest album's cover art.
1. People are lonely and only animals with too many tools that can build all the junk that we sell sometimes it makes you want to yell. (The Horizon Has Been Defeated - Jack Johnson; guessed by Slaygal1981)
2. Now I’m towing my car, there’s a hole in the roof. My possessions are causing me suspicion but there’s no proof. (Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House; guessed by Monique)
3. There’s no alibi ‘cause I’ve drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies. (What I've Done - Linkin Park; guessed by Slaygal1981)
4. We must engage and rearrange and turn this planet back to one. (Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz; guessed by Monique)
5. There’s too many men, too many people making too many problems, and not much love to go round. (Land of Confusion - Genesis; guessed by Monique)
6. Forget what we're told before we get too old. Show me a garden that's bursting into life. (Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol; guessed by Slaygal1981)
7. Sunday all the lights of London shining, sky is fading red to blue. (Babylon - David Gray; guessed by Slaygal1981)
8. And so it is, just like you said it should be. We’ll both forget the breeze. Most of the time. (The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice; guessed by Slaygal1981)
9. This ain’t a movie no. No fairy tale conclusion ya’ll. It gets more confusing everyday. (Ordinary People - John Legend; guessed by Slaygal1981)
10. Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed. Here today, forgot tomorrow. (Ordinary World - Duran Duran; guessed by Slaygal1981)
11. To get there quick, by street but not the freeway, turn that trick to make a little leeway. (By the Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers; guessed by Slaygal1981)
12. Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely. Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside. (Put Your Records On - Corrine Bailey Rae; guessed by Slaygal1981)
13. Trust I seek and I find in you every day for us something new. Open mind for a different view. (Nothing Else Matters - Metalica; guessed by Slaygal1981)
14. The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’. (Big Bottom - Spinal Tap; guessed by Slaygal1981)
15. Too sweet to be sour too nice to be mean. On the tough guy style I'm not too keen. To try to change the world I will plot and scheme. (Intergalatic - Beastie Boys; guessed by Slaygal1981)
16. I’m a new day rising. I’m a brand new sky to hang the stars upon tonight.(Times Like These - Foo Fighters; guessed by Slaygal1981) 17. Now we see everything that's going wrong with the world and those who lead it. 18. Some people live for the fortune. Some people live just for the fame. Some people live for the power, yeah. Some people live just to play the game. (If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys; guessed by Slaygal1981)
19. I live with my justice and I live with my greedy need. I live with no mercy and I live with my frenzied feeding. I live with my hatred and I live with my jealousy. I live with the notion that I don’t need anyone but me. (Don't Drink the Water - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Slaygal1981)
20. To the hustlers, killers, murderers, drug dealers even the strippers. To the victims of Welfare for we living in hell here. (Jesus Walks - Kanye West; guessed by Slaygal1981) 21. And what do you want? I want to change. And what have you got, when you feel the same? 22. Walked out this morning, don’t believe what I saw. A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore. (Message in a Bottle - The Police; guessed by Monique)
23. I see skies of blue and clouds of white. (What a Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong; Bonus - Paulo Nutini; guessed by Slaygal1981)
24. Where did all the blue skies go? Poison is the wind that blows from the north and south and east. (Mercy, Mercy Me (The Ecology) - Marvin Gaye; Bonus - Alicia Keys; Corrine Bailey Rae and John Legend; guessed by Slaygal1981)
25. War, children, it's just a shot away. (Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones; Bonus - Keith Urban and Alicia Keys; guessed by Slaygal1981)
There have been over 500 different lyrics and more than 80 different participants in the past two year. And after twenty-four months, here is the leader board in term of all-time points (and of course check out the Winners List on the side board).
Pirate Master: Well thanks to CBS forgetting to mention that they were moving the show to a different night and time I missed it this week but luckily I was able to catch this week’s episode on their Innertube broadband channel. Actually after viewing the episode luckily might not be the right work. This episode highlighted another major flaw in that both crews have the exact path to the treasure so whoever is behind really doesn’t even need to read the clue, they just have to follow the leader much like the black crew did this week when they couldn’t decipher the clue and just followed the red crew giving them a not well deserved win in the end. But at least we got our first whispers of mutiny this week even though there were no mutiny votes cast. If the pirates had any sense they would have offered to nominate Jupiter to captainship if she mutinied with them.
Rescue Me: After a rare weak episode two weeks ago the show comes back with strange one. Not strange: bad, but not necessarily strange: good. The strangest of the episode was the weekly house call where the crew just wandered around an office building and really I was just as lost during this scene as the rest of the crew. One scene that wasn’t at all confusing was the hilarious shrink scene where the dude just got up and called his buddy thinking this was a prank.
Lil’ Bush: I hope the creators and everyone involved in this show have fun getting audited for the scene this past week where George and his crew do their best Red Hot Chili Peppers impressions wearing nothing but socks. Download this and previous episodes on iTunes.
Promo of the Week: As I have mentioned many times before I have been less than impressed with this year’s crops of new shows aside from Pushing Daisies. Then during NBC’s Live Earth telecast last week they showed a promo for a new show, Chuck and there is absolutely no way you are going to get me to watch this crap. Fast forward to 55 seconds (or 2:30 if it is counting down) to see why:
For years whenever I saw a hot chick I would routine say to a friend, “Stop the press, who is that?” (although in recent years I have worked in “she’s walking around like some brand new chicken about to be plucked” into my rotation) and if someone ever said that to me I would instinctively respond “Vicky Vail” and it is hurtful that they would mock me like this on network television. Okay, truth be told there is one way they can get me to watch this show and that is the chick the nerds are refereeing to whom is what I like to refer to as uber-hot. And having Jayne from Firefly doesn’t hurt. Oh and for you youngin’ who doesn’t understand this whole conversation, check out one of the greatest movie tie-in videos of all-time:
Pick of the Week: ESPY Awards, Tomorrow (Sunday), 9:00 ESPN: Sure the show already happened and if you wanted you could check out the results somewhere on the internet but if there were a reason to turn in it would be LeBron James channeling Bobby Brown. And unlike last year, hopefully the show actually starts on time instead of being delayed because the baseball game on before it goes into extra innings.
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