First Impressions - Threshold

Next up on the Lost knock off tour of the fall season is Threshold. It was being hyped as being the best sci-fi show since the X-Files. Of course this begs the question, has there been any good sci-fi show’s since the X-Files? But anyways. The show follows Dr. Molly Caffery, play by Carla Gugino last seen naked in Sin City, who specializes in on worst cases scenario. Wow, a government official that specializes in solving worst case scenarios, what a novel idea. That may be the biggest science fiction part of the whole show, a government that is actually prepared for disaster. But I digress. One of Caffery’s scenario plays out when something strange happens on a ship in the Atlantic Ocean that essentially prove the existence of extraterrestrials or ET for short.

So the government enlists Caffery to round up a team of experts to examine the ship who really don’t have a choice on whether they want to join or not. The other alterative seem to be some Guatanamo Bay type resort if they don’t help. I do like this and would not have any problem if our own government would do the same thing in extreme situations. The experts in question include Nigel Fenway, who apparently a big thing to Trekkies but us normal people hasn’t a clue who he is. Fenway is forensic microbiologists brought in to study the effects of the aliens have on what they come in contact with. He also seems jaded with the whole thing, but goes along nonetheless. Lucas Pegg is an astronautical engineer who is the only team member who seems happy to be there. But the highlight of the team is Arthur Ramsey, who is the best mathematician in the nation and a well versed linguist. Oh yeah, and he’s a very horny midget (or dwarf, I always get those two confused). The best part of the whole show was when he was caught holding Caffery’s underwear. Tough guy Cavennaugh closes out the team as the muscle. What’s Cavennaugh’s last name? And seriously, what’s with the extra “N”? Well your guess is good as mine. But since he’s black ops, the government may have brainwashed him to forget it like in Men in Black. And the whole team reports to the Deputy National Security Advisor played by Roc himself, Charles S Dutton.

So once the team is assembled they head onto the ship to find only one survivor who happened to be Ethan Rom, who has suddenly become the go-to creepy dude. Something is seriously wrong with the dude who is shot multiple times, jumps into the ocean then somehow makes to Caffery’s house later that night, then disappears into thin air. Then throughout the whole show, there is a pattern that looked exactly like the image that was in the hot chick’s eye on Point Pleasant. But hear in lies the problem of the show for me, it was hyped as an X-Files type of show, yet the show feels like a singular X-Files episode that they turned into a whole series. And that didn’t fair too well when Tru Calling tried to do the exact same thing. Plus, if Mulder and Scully were on this case, they would have the case solved already.

Verdict: I’d like to think I have better things to do on a Friday night than watch this show. Granted I don’t, but I’d like to thing it anyway. Might give it another try because when all the people showed up like it was the night of the living dead intrigued me.

First Impressions – Survivor Guatemala

I have been a fan of Survivor since its conception. It is the ultimate competition that challenges both physical and mental abilities and because of that I come back week after week, season after season. But much like the daddy of all reality shows, The Real World, Survivor in recent season has routinely cast beauty over personality. This led me to stop watching religiously The Real World around the Chicago season. Ironically I still love the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. I have yet to reach my breaking point with Survivor because even with the recent lack of quality character, there still is the Lord of the Flies element that keeps me intrigued.

For this season’s cast, it seems to be younger than ever with only four contestants over the age of 35. Well make that three because the oldest person there was already voted off. We even have first celebrity in Survivor history, and by celebrity I mean some one who is so obscure, he couldn’t even make it on The Surreal Life. The “celebrity” in question is former NFL quarterback, Gary Hogeboom. The best part of the whole episode was when Gary explained that he changed his last name so no one else would recognize it. Seriously Gary, 90% of the other contestants were not even born when you were playing. Now Dan Marino, Joe Montana, or Bernie Kosar may have to change their names but not Gary Hogeboom. Not too mention, if he was so worried, why not change the first name too?

The first advertised big surprise happened last night with the return of Stephanie and Bobby Jon from last season’s Palau cast. Much like I hated when they brought back players that were already voted during the Pearl Island season, I really dislike this move. The already lost, it’s time to give two other people a chance. It’s not like either are likely to boost ratings as Survivor has had contestant rating no matter who was in the cast. If I were part of their tribe, they would be public enemy #1 for me.

As for the setting, Guatemala should make for a quality environment. Jungle setting always seems to make the shows better much like the Amazon. One thing that creeps me out is that one tribe will be living in Mayan ruins. That really can’t be a good idea, look what happened to the dudes that went into King Tut’s tomb. And I’m not sure it’s a coincidence that the guy, a.k.a. the warriors of the tribe, which won the chance to live in the ruins, got sick. Had I been in one of the tribes, I would have thrown the challenge because I have no desire to be cursed by some ancient Mayan curse. I would not be at all surprised if the Nakum tribe doesn’t win anything this season because of this.

Now for some prediction and other observations:

Most interesting day job: Magician’s Assistant
Will be most hated: Judd
Will be most loved: Margaret
Most likely to quit: Jamie
Most likely to hook up: Brianna & Jamie
Second big surprise: Winner of the loved one competition will join the game
Girl whom I still have dirty, dirty sex with even if she hadn’t showered for a month: Morgan
Next to be voted off: Blake
Winner: Cindy

Verdict: As much as I’ve complained about the last couple seasons of Survivor, I will still be watching this every Thursday at 8:00 as I tape Smallville and Everyone Hates Chris and will most likely rent this season’s Alias on DVD.

Lyrics Quiz - Name Droppers

A couple weeks ago I reviewed Tommy Lee’s new album (I’d Rather Play You on My TV) which included the cheesy lyric, “Tommy got tired of Pamela, Ed got tired of Salma, Puffy got tired of J-Lo and Ben did too.” From that I thought that compiling a bunch of other songs that have blatant name dropping would be fun. As always, leave your guesses, artist and title, in the comment section and if you are correct I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. As an added bonus, for lyrics that only contain a person’s first or last name, you will get an extra point if you guess their full name (i.e. in the lyric above, had you said Tommy Lee, Pamela Anderson, Ed Norton, Salma Hayek and Ben Affleck, you would had gotten five bonus points). If the person who guesses such a lyrics correctly but doesn’t get the bonus, you can steal their bonus after, and only after the lyric is guessed. The person with the most points will be added to the winners list on my sidebar.

1. Hi Mr. O’Reilly, hope all is well; kiss the plaintiff and the wife-y. (#! Spot - Ludacris; Bonus Bill O'Reilly both guessed by Dane Bramage)
2. Kate Moss can’t find a job. (Intuition - Jewel guessed by Captain Platypus)
3. I met Ali, he said I’m the greatest. (Gettin Jiggy Wit It - Will Smith; bonus - Muhammed Ali both guessed by Daria)
4. Hey Andy are you goofing on Elvis baby. (Man on the Moon - R.E.M.; bonus Andy Kaufman & Elvis Pressley both guessed by Daria)
5. I’m just trying to say the way school needs teachers, like the way Kathy Lee needed Regis. (Jesus Walks - Kanye West; bonus - Kathy Lee Gifford and Regis Philbin both guessed by Solace)
6. Now I’m knocking on heaven’s door, like Bob Dylan. (Gone Till November (Video Version) - Wyclef Jean guessed by Dane Bramage)
7. Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant to be a straight up racist. (Fight the Power - Public Enemy guessed by Brad; bonus - Elvis Presley guessed by Dane Bramage)
8. Tin soldiers and Nixon’s coming. (Ohio - Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young guessed by Captain Platypus); bonus - Richard Nixon guessed by Daria)
9. Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television. (We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel guessed by Daria)
10. Bo knows this, and Bo knows that, but Bo don’t know jack cause Bo can’t rap. (Scenario - A Tribe Called Quest; bonus - Bo Jackson guessed by Daria)
11. Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? (Mrs. Robinson - Simon and Garfunkel guessed by Dane Bramage)
12. I screamed out, “Who killed the Kennedys?” when after all it was you and me. (Sympathy for the Devil – Rolling Stones; bonus - Robert and John Kennedy both guessed by Dane Bramage)
13. His home was Natchez Mississippi, did it like Miles and Dizzy. (Bridging the Gap - Nas and Olu Dara; bonus - Miles Davis & Dizzy Gilespie both guessed by Solace)
14. I heard Neil Young talk about her. Heard ol’ Neil put her down. (Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd guessed by Dane Bramage)
15. (Expletive deleted) Bush, until they bring our troops home, c'mon. (Mosh - Eminem; bonus - George Bush both guessed by Solace)
16. She swears that she’s artsy, but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane. (Comfortable - John Mayer; bonus - Miles Davis and John Coltrane both guessed by Dane Bramage)
17. If it ain’t Chuck D. Jam Master J, know what? They’re losing. (Musicology - Prince guessed by Captain Platypus)
18. Just like the old man in that book by Nabakov. (Don't Stand So Close to Me - The Police; bonus - Vladimir Nabakov both guessed by Dane Bramage)
19. Stevie Wonder sees crack babies. (Fu-Gee-La - The Fugees guessed by Pure Mood)
20. I wanna be Bob Dylan. (Mr. Jones - Counting Crows guessed by Dane Bramage)
21. It’s not Michael Jackson and this is not Thriller. (King of Rock - Run-DMC guessed by Solace)
22. She said “dad’s the one I love the most, but Stipe’s not too far behind.” (Let Her Cry - Hootie and the Blowfish; bonus - Michael Stipe guessed by Daria)
23. I’ve got more hits than Sadaharu Oh. (Hey Ladies - Beastie Boys guessed by Pure Mood)
24. My homey Dr. Dre came through with a gang of Tanqueray. (Gin and Juice - Snoop Doggy Dogg; Dr. Dre nee Andre Young guessed by Pure Mood)
25. A terminator, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Try’n to play me out as if my name was Sega. (Jump Around - House of Pain guessed by Captain Platypus)

Congratulations to Dane Bramage who won this month’s Lyrics Quiz with a total 14 points, be sure you stop by October 15th for the next quiz.

First Impressions – Bones/Supernatural

Bones

Any show that starts off with a hot chick flashing has got my attention, now the only question is if Bones can keep me at attention after that. The show, itself focuses around Dr. Temperance Brennen, a forensic anthologist, and her team as they help the FBI solve mysteries that involve, ironically enough, bones. On the surface, it looks like CSI: Washington D.C., but Bones has humanity to it, delving into the lives of the characters then he 52 shows of the CBS series.

The shows stars Emily Deschanel, best know for being Zooey sister, who in turn is best known for being random girl #5 in a couple of movies that have shown up on Comedy Central every once in a while, as the Dr. and David Boreanaz, who will be known as Angel for the rest of his life. Boreanaz has been fortunate playing Angel as he was surrounded by great actor that hid his wooden demeanor although his dry wit that he displayed as a vampire comes through in this role. But the breakout stars of the cast are the supporting characters including the uber-smart young dude, the conspiracy theorist who could be an illegitimate child of one of The Lone Gunmen, and the toke hot computer chick, who was the previously mentioned flasher.

The first episode was well contrasted with our fair Dr. being stopped at the airport by homeland security, but it only turns out to be a plot by Angel, who just wants to bring in the Dr., who he affectionately calls Bones because who wants to say Temperance, to help him out on a case. I like how the two have had history and we are brought in after their last case didn’t go too well and how the Dr. dislikes her little nickname, which I can relate to as I’ve been stuck with one I’m not too fond of. But since Bones is the best in the business, Angel has to cave into her request for full disclosure in the case and even asks “Do you want to be Mulder or Scully.” But this leads Bones into some trouble as she is not aware of protocol and breaks a few laws along the way while solving the case at hand, the discovery of an intern who has been missing for a couple years.

Also during the show, for some inexplicably reason, during a montage of Bones putting pieces together, they played Howie Day’s Collide over it. I didn’t realize that this turned into WB show, but then again what else could they play, Alice in Chain’s Them Bones. Or here’s a novel idea, write enough story that you don’t get stuck throwing in a filler montage because you have to fill in enough scenes to air. It’s never a good sign when they throw in filler this early in a series.

Verdict: I’m not the biggest fan of crime dramas, but the first episode was well written and I’ll get the show a couple more viewings as there is nothing much on Tuesdays at 8:00. Plus I’d like to hear the conspiracy try to top his “Monica Lewinski was a sex robot created by the KGB” theory.


Supernatural

Supernatural is the first of many new sci-fi shows that that have flooded the networks this fall after the success of Lost. What seems to set this show apart from the rest is that it seems to go more in the direction of horror while the others look more like a pure Lost knock off of suspenseful sci-fi. There were plenty of “jump out of your seats” moments in the first episode like with the opening and closing scenes. But I’m not really sold on the whole, being scared every week thing. I prefer my horror fix on my own terms, watching a scary movie when I’m in the mood for one, not on a weekly basis.

In between the two scary scenes we are introduced two brothers, one who has taken up the family business of hunting things that go bump in the night, and the other, who is about to go into law school at Stamford. When daddy hunter goes missing, company son recruits college boy to go find him. Apparently daddy was hunting a spirit that has a pension killing cheating men. Oh, and if the man isn’t a cheater, she’ll quickly turn him into one because, even as a spirit, she’s extremely hot. But once the case is solved, and the spirit is eradicated, daddy is still missing, but left a clue to his whereabouts. This is where I got weary because I see no reason why college boy would give up his dreams for a family he really doesn’t care much about. But the closing scene changed everything and was well conceived as a reason college boy would hit the road with the deadbeat brother looking for a deadbeat dad.

The cast is solely made up as with the two brothers. The elder, family business brother is played by the dude last seen as Lana’s evil boyfriend. I can’t express how much I hate the character. The younger college boy apparently is most known for being on Gilmore Girls, not that I would know that by watching it (hey, I’m a guy). Evil Lana boyfriend does a good job as the cocky older brother, but I’m not sold on the younger brother, which could be a problem when there is only one other person in the cast.

There was even a Mulder and Scully reference in the episode, much like in Bones. That can’t really be a good sign and I’m sure all the other Lost wannabes are scrambling to take out their X-Files references as you read this. But what really irked me most about the show is that it ran over five minutes making me miss the season finale of Rescue Me, making me instead have to record the late showing.

Verdict – The ending alone gives it another viewing, but I bet I’ll be watching My Name Is Earl and The Office at 9:00 on Tuesdays. Supernatural could make for a good DVD rental when you need a good scare.

A Bucketful of Babylon

David Gray has been one of my favorite new artists of the new decade. Many people tried before him to mix folk with electronic music and failed miserably, but with the release of White Ladder, Gray seamlessly mixed the two together effortlessly. Gray continued with the equally great A New Day at Midnight. Now he’s back with his latest release, Life in Slow Motion.

The album starts off earnest enough with the lush sounding Alibi with the piano taking center stage while background strings slowly build to accompany the piece. It’s a downer of a song and maybe not the best way to start the album off. Thing get more upbeat with the next song, The One I Love. The song doesn’t quite stand up to his pervious love songs like Be Mine or This Years Love, but it is good nonetheless.

Vocally, Gray show more range on this album such as on From Here You Can Almost See the Sea, he reaches into his falsetto as if he was fronting Coldplay. Musically, Gray has veered away from the techno infused beats focusing more this album on the piano and strings then on drums. Ain’t No Love even starts with some synthesizer that makes you think you’re listening to a song by The Killers.

David Gray is as lyrically as strong as in the past and this album the highlight there is Hospital Food. Another look at the agonizing wait many people have while a loved one is in the hospital, “Tell me something I don’t already know.” In the end, if you are a fan of David Gray’s, you will love this album too. If you are not already a fan, you may want to start with White Ladder and work you’re way up to Life in Slow Motion.

Song to Download – Hospital Food

Life in Slow Motion gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

First Impressions – The War at Home

What better time to debut a new sitcom entitled The War at Home then on the fourth anniversary of 9/11? I’m sure I don’t have to name what network would do such a thing since they have brought us such quality shows as The Littlest Groom and Who’s Your Daddy. If you ask the people at Fox, the show is reminiscent of All in the Family. Umm, okay. Although calling it Married... with Children but without anything funny would be a little more accurate.

So what we get is yet another dad who is having troubles raising his kids with a wife who also works. The daughter is your token slutty girl except that she’s, as she puts it, technically a virgin. I guess we have Bill Clinton to tanks for that type of clarification. But anyways. Then there is the middle brother who is ambiguously gay. Granted this idea of “is or isn’t he” was a whole lot funnier when it was in a form of a cartoon. Lastly is the youngest boy who… well I’m not entirely sure exactly what he brings to the show.

The casting is fairly uninspiring. Of course it can’t be good when you’re show is headlined by Michael Rapaport most notably from the Popcopy commercial. And that’s pretty much it; can anyone name anything else he’s been in that’s good? His imdb.com page read like a who’s who of movies that no one has seen. The rest of the cast is filled with actors who probably won’t work after this show is canceled, and that may come sooner than later.

The pilot of The War at Home centers on the slutty daughter not being allowed to date a college boy so she pretends to date a black dude named Taye, short for Boo-taye, to get back at her parents. And hilarity doesn’t ensue. The only time I actually laughed during the episode involved a flashback featuring Cherry Pie. To make things worse, there are little vinaigrettes of the characters talking to the camera as if they were on a reality show. Here we are told early on by the sexually ambiguous son that he is, in fact, not gay thus ruining his whole plotline for the rest of the show.

Verdict: I think we have a lead candidate for the first show to be canceled.

George Bush Hates Midgets

There were a lot of telethons over the weekend to help the victims of Katrina. First was the major one, Shelter From the Storm, that was on all the broadcast networks and a bunch of cable outlets too much like A Tribute to Heroes that was staged right after 9/11 except this was only an hour long and we weren’t subjected to a Canadian singing God Bless America. Unfortunately I was unable to talk to Mandy Moore when I called in, but at least all of the performances were great and poignant. Performances that stuck out for me included Mary J. Blige joining U2 for One and the heavy Creedence Clearwater Revival presences as the Foo Fighters covered Born on the Bayou and Garth Brooks added his rendition of Who’ll Stop the Rain? Ironically no one performed CCR’s ode to President Bush, Fortunate Son. Speaking of whom, the highlight of the whole evening was when Chris Rock, before going into his prepared speech, quickly threw in, “George Bush hates midgets.” Apparently Rock later went on the BET telethon, S.O.S., and added “George Bush hate albinos.” At least that what heard as I didn’t watch it myself because, much like my president, I don’t care about black people. As for the originator of that quote, I wonder if it was an accident that Kanye West's mike didn’t work to start of Jesus Walks, of which he was backed by a live choir and strings section.

Then last night saw the four hour concert, ReAct Now: Music and Relief, put on by the various music channels many of the acts a repeat of the night before, but each performing a different song than the night before. Some interesting new hair styles were sported on the telecast with John Mayer going with an Anikin in Episode III look, Trent Reznor’s new buzz cut that left him looking like Leonard Nimoy, and Melissa Etheridge, last seen completely bald at the Grammys is now starting to grow hers back after beating cancer. Musically the highlights included Reznor alone by a piano sing his song Hurt but sounding more like Johnny Cash’s version than his orginal, Maroon 5 doing the Beatles Don’t Let Me Down, Fiona Apple climbing out of obscurity to perform a new song, Extraordinary Machine, and Mötley Crüe being joined by the non-rapping dude from Linkin Park, a string section, a choir, and the dude from Tommy Lee Goes to College on the drums, to sing Home Sweet Home. Surprisingly good were the unknown artist from New Orleans such as Buckwheat Zydeco, Chris Thomas King, The Radiators, and Marc Broussard who all gave impassioned performances and hopefully MTV and VH1 put these artist in rotation because they deserve it. On the flip side, I was a little disappointed Chris Rock didn’t continue his “Bush hates…” routine.

For those that missed either show, they are being brought to you on demand through broadband channels, sorry dial-upers. For Shelter From the Storm, is being brought to you by AOL while ReAct Now is on both MTV and VH1. MTV and VH1 even are airing a couple of performances that were not aired. If you are a music fan, or even if you’re not, you can buy some of the performances from the ReAct concert at Connect. About half of the performances are up now including two unaired songs by Beck and Rob Thomas. The proceeds from the sales will be split up between the Red Cross, America’s Second Harvest and The Salvation Army. According to the site, there will be more up in the following days which I can assumes is because of legal issues. Way to go Music Industry for crewing up once again by dragging your feet on this. No word on when or if you can get your hands on songs from Shelter From the Storm. Personally, I'd love to have Mary J & U2's duet.

And the donations keep on pouring in from the celebrities. Michael Jackson says he is recording a song considering the one he did for 9/11 did so well. You remember the one that was produce by a porn star right? Also joining the “I have better thing to give than money bandwagon” is Terrell Owens who is putting up his NFC championship ring up for auction will all proceeds from the sale going to charity. Wow, he’s giving up a ring he didn’t even earn. Great PR move TO. Now how about a check you two? If you what to donate your money, click the Red Cross button in my sidebar.

Hope Is What I'm Hoping to Find

It seems like every other week I’m reviewing another, young, female, singer-songwriter. This week’s entry into the “Bring back Lilith Fair” brigade is Hope Partlow. The Tennessee native’s approach is a little different from those that have come before her in that she has infused the genre with a dash of country. There are no banjos, fiddles or yee-ha’s, but you can definitely hear the southern charm in her voice most notably in the slower songs.

Partlow’s debut album, Who We Are, starts off with the title track, a great song for today’s climate that tells us not to take things for granted with lines like, “It doesn’t really matter what care you drive, it’s good to be alive.” The album actually ends with the “Saturday Night Mix.” Granted it sound exactly like the original with just an exaggerated bass line and doesn’t bring anything new to the album like many “remixes” that are thrown in at the end. The only song that ever really sounded different is Babylon on David Gray’s White Ladder.

Elsewhere on the album Don’t Go is a last ditch effort to keep a loved one and when she sing “I believe this is killing me, don’t go” it almost breaks my heart. Crazy Summer Night is a great party song to play when the title suggests. But unfortunately, its starting to dip into the 40’s at night around here so hopefully this song will be brought out next May when it is more appropriate. Unlike many young girls today who like to brag about stealing other girls’ boyfriends, Hope is actually apologetic as heard on Sick Inside explaining, “I’m so sorry about last night,” and saying wish she had more self control. Partlow show a good vocal range on the slow love song Like You Do. And Hope goes in pure Avril mode (but without the pretentious punk thing) on Everywhere but Here where she sing against louder guitars that the rest of the album. Overall, Who We Are, is a solid debut from a girl that can only get better with age and more experience.

Song to Download – Like You Do

Who We Are gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

First Impressions – Reunion

When the fall lineups were announced a couple months ago, Reunion didn’t really catch my eye. It was on at the same time as a perennial favorite of my, Everwood, and even worse, it was on Fox. And since I have morals, I tend to avoid all the Fox channels, the only current exceptions being Rescue Me and Arrested Development. But the more I learned about the show, the more I found it intriguing. The series would take places over twenty year, each episode focusing on a singular year starting with the high school graduation of six friends and culminates at the twentieth reunion which just happens to coincides with of death by one of the six at the hands of another. Another sticking point foe me was the cast included cast members from past shows I liked like the electro-girl from Angel and Meg’s older brother from American Dreams.

But intriguing premises don’t always translate into good shows as seen last year with Jack and Bobby, a show that looked good on paper, but they ruined the show in the very first episode. As for Reunion’s first episode, it started out in the present day funeral of an unknown person and quickly transitioned back to 1986 and graduation. The show quickly built up not one, but two love triangles. This also rapidly sets up motives for murder. But really all the plot twists in the first episodes were extremely predictable.

In the cast, electro-girl and J.J. are joined by the Ugly-Hot Chick that deserved to mocked in Not Another Teen Movie, two no named dudes and, of course, a Token Hot Chick. It became apparent quite early that the actors were cast upon looked because the first episode had some of the worst acting I’ve seen in a long time. The show also must think the viewer is not too bright, which would make sense because it is Fox, so it went to extreme measures to remind us that this was 1986, so there was a constant stream of 80’s music. Also the token hot chick was giving the task of wearing the Madonna gear. Then there was the preppy dude couldn’t decide if he wanted to evoke Don Johnson on Miami Vice or Tom Cruise in Risky Business, so he’d just alternated between the two every other scene. They went seriously overboard with the, “Wham! is the next Beatles” comparison and even took it a step further comparing the dude not named George Michaels to John Lennon. Now when Adam Sandler said, “Get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up” in The Wedding Singer, that was funny because it was a comedy. Do it in a drama, and it’s just cheesy.

Predictions:
- By the time we hit the 90’s, the two love triangles will have morphed into a love hexagon.
- Even more in jokes including how Vanilla Ice will go down as the greatest rapper ever and how the Red Sox will never win the World Series. The wardrobe will transition into Hammer pants then flannel shirts.
- Who dies: The nerdy virgin
- Who is the murderer: The Token Hot Chick
- Why: Nerdy dude gets too obsessive and the Token Hot Chick kills him in a moment of self defense.

Verdict: Poor acting, predictable plot lines, but considering whenever I’m flipping through channels and come across I Love the 80’s/90’s on VH1, I’ll sit and watch it, I’ll be checking out Reunion every week.

Boom Pow Surprise

The kickoff to the football season is tonight, and that also means the start of fantasy. The first couple weeks of fantasy football are always tough because they coincide with the start of the playoffs for fantasy baseball. As we go into the playoffs, I have one team sitting on top with my two other teams sitting in third place. Luckily fantasy baseball will be over by the time fantasy hockey rolls around (contact me if you are interested in joining my league). But as for football, I had a draft last night and here’s who will be lacing up for Boom Pow Surprise:

Michael Vick (Atl - QB)
Andre Johnson (Hou - WR)
Eric Moulds (Buf - WR)
Brandon Stokley (Ind - WR)
Shaun Alexander (Sea - RB)
Tatum Bell (Den - RB)
Steve Heiden (Cle - TE)
Paul Edinger (Min - K)
Atlanta Falcons (DEF)

Aaron Brooks (NO - QB)
Kerry Collins (Oak - QB)
Ricky Williams (Mia - RB)
L.J. Smith (Phi - TE)
Amani Toomer (NYG - WR)
Phil Dawson (Cle - K)
Chicago Bears (DEF)

This should be a solid team with three quality QB’s, a top tier RB and another who should benefit from the Broncos system. But what could put me over the top is the 11th round pick up of Ricky Williams. Hopefully Cedric Benson will be a bust during Ricky’s four game suspension and Ricky can return to being the Ricky of old, well, but without the weed.

And like the last few seasons, the kickoff of the football season is being accompanied with a concert. For some reason the NFL felt obligated to let a press release out saying that Kanye West would not be kicked off the bill. Thanks for the memo NFL. Since when does not doing anything warrant a pres release? Of course this stems from Kanye’s comments at last weeks hurricane relief concert on NBC. But there was no way the NFL could boot the only black performer for making an anti-Bush comment when other performers include Green Day, who’s last album, American Idiot, takes shots at the Bush administration, and the Rolling Stone, who recently called Bush a piece of, um, human excrement, on their recent song, Sweet Neo-Con (scroll down to read how much I hate this song). So the NFL were in a no win situation. I’ll be interested in seeing what song Kanye chooses to perform tonight considering Maroon 5 are also on the bill. Keep in mind that on a Kanye’s latest album, he did a duet with the lead singer from Maroon 5 on the song Heard ‘Em Say in which Kanye raps, “And I know the government administered AIDS.”

Oh yeah, and there is a football game tonight too, which happens to be Randy Moss’ debut with the Oakland Raiders playing against the defending Super Bowl Champs, the New England Patriots. With all these tangibles, I wonder how Vegas put the odds on who will make the water cooler moment tomorrow. I think I'll put my money on Randy. As for my predictions for the season, here are mine:

AFC East: Jets
AFC North: Steelers
AFC South: Colts
AFC West: Chargers
AFC Wildcard: Titans, Chiefs
NFC East: Eagles
NFC North: Green Bay
AFC South: Falcons
NFC West: Seahawks
NFC Wildcard: Panthers, Cowboys

AFC title Game: Colts over the Jets
NFC Title Game: Falcons over the Panthers

Super Bowl Champs: Falcons

I Think I Just Made the Biggest Mistake of My Life

After listen to Eric Clapton grow gracefully on his latest album (scroll down for a review), it make the latest Rolling Stones album, A Bigger Bang sound even worse. Granted Clapton has been pumping out great albums for the last couple years whereas The Stones seem to slap some song together just as an excuse to tour. Yet everyone knows they will be playing Jumping Jack Flash over any songs on that album. A Bigger Bang is no exception.

The album title itself sound like a shot at the recent hubbub of Intellectual Design by naming the album after a theory that contradicts it, the Big Bang. And that would usher in a more political Stones most prominently heard on the song that has already come under fire by Fox New, Sweet Neo-Con. If you haven’t heard already, the song rails against Bush calling him a hypocrite and blasting him about prisons without trial and Haliburton. And people said Eminem was late to comment on the elections. At least Mosh was catchy; Sweet Neo-Con is just painful to listen to.

But then again A Bigger Bang could be a sexual reference, this is The Rolling Stones. Even when the boys getting up their in age, they still like their suggestive lyrics, “Once upon a time I was your rooster, now I’m just one of your cocks.” (Rough Justice) It’s nice to see Jagger can still write those double entendres. Wait, no it isn’t, it’s kind of sad he still does. But wait, there’s more, in the appropriately titled Oh No, It’s You Again, Jagger sings that he’s, “staring down your tits.” Ladies, it’s time to lock up your granddaughters.

Elsewhere on the album, there is the Angie rip off, Streets of Love, but it’s not as emotional as the original. The king of the cheesy songs goes to Laugh, I Nearly Died, which could describe anyone who makes it through the whole album. This especially goes for the songs wear they let Keith Richards sings. There are a few, and I mean very few, rays of sunshine on the album, including a funky riff on Rain Fall Down and Back of My Hand has a cool , down home bluesy feel to it, but they never come close to redeeming the set of songs. Hopefully the next time The Rolling Stones get a feeling to tour, some one tells them they can actually do it without having to release an album to do so.

Song to Download – Back of My Hand

A Bigger Bang gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Need to Hear that Sound

Back in middle school, Eric Clapton changed my life. Up until then, I had listened to exclusively hard core gangsta rap. Than a tape trader friend of mine passed me along a copy of Slowhand and I quickly realized why people called him God. Shortly thereafter, Clapton participated in the legendary Unplugged series showing a different side to his already accomplished guitar repertoire. I have picked up every one of his new albums since then. Which lead me to today with the release, Back Home.

The title Back Home can be linked to Clapton returning to more of his 60’s sound of blues rock after his recent affinity for straight blues including last years album of Robert Johnson songs. Listen to the opening track, So Tired, Back Home can also mean being back home with his family, including his three young girls. The song chronicles the life a new dad who can’t seem to take it in but at least, “momma’s a natural.” The song even features a baby screaming at the end.

Clapton also rediscovered his love of reggae on this album, but instead of a Marley cover, he decided to write his own in Revolution. The slowed down song deals with a person who want to start a revolution not necessarily because he feels the cause deep down in his heart but rather because he has nothing better to do. The album does feature a couple cover songs including George Harrison’s Love Comes to Everyone and the Stevie Wonder penned I’m Going Left. And just like B.B. King had Clapton come play with him, Clapton has brought in a few of his disciples to play on the album including John Mayer and the current king of the slide guitar, Robert Randolph. Steve Winwood and Vince Gill, who wrote One Day for the album, also appear along with Billy Preston who contributes on the keys throughout the whole album.

Song to Download – So Tired

Back Home gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You Gotta Love it Though, Somebody Still Speaks From His Soul

For the last couple years, rap has become very anemic, the same rappers saying the same thing talking about how much ice they have and how many groupies they have scored with. Yawn. Then along came a guy with a backpack and a teddy bear mascot with the vibe of A Tribe Called Quest (by his own admission) and clever wordplay that rivals the Beastie Boys in their prime. Kanye West’s The College Dropout was not just the best rap album of last year but it was easily the best rap album of the last five year. On the album, West pushed the boundaries of rap touching on topics that most rappers found on the radio and MTV including religion and even admitting he was self conscious.

West is now back with his sophomore effort, Late Registration and is pushing the boundaries of rap even further. This is most notable in the addition of Fiona Apple’s producer Jon Brion helping West out on the boards. Brion presence is definitely felt on tracks Touch the Sky with horn the rival those sampled on Crazy in Love, and string section featured in Bring Me Down, Diamonds from Sierra Leone, and Gone. They even bring in full orchestration on Celebration. With Brion by his side, West even stepped up his own game, avoiding the easy way out by copying his signature sound of sped up vocals (not counting the hidden track, Late), and instead created a whole new sound for this album.

Kanye is pushing the boundaries with his choice of topics on this album too. Instead of an ode to Jesus, Late Registration had a song devoted to another subject much ignore subject in rap, his mother on Hey Mama. West saves his best production for this song with a choir of multi-layered la la’s playing throughout the song and Kanye even gives a shot at sing a verse and a chorus.

Late Registration is also more political than most major rap releases in recent years. But Kanye comes off more like Oliver Stone than Public Enemy with accusations like, “And I know the government administered AIDS” (Heard ‘em Say), “How we stop the black panthers? Ronald Reagan cooked up an answer,” and, “Who gave Saddam anthrax? George Bush got the answers” (Crack Music). Kanye also takes on the state of the health care in our country on Roses, but this time no conspiracy theories are needed and he asks a question that needs to be posed to our political leaders: “If Magic Johnson got a cure for A.I.D.'s and all the broke (expletive deleted) past away, you tellin me if my grandma was in the N.B.A. right now she'd be ok?”

Unfortunately, with all that said, Late Registration does not entirely live up to the promise of The College Dropout. One thing that really disappointed me was when the album was being made, Kanye mention that he wasn’t going to any guest except John Mayer and Common. But West decided to bring in more guests some with better results then others. Out is John Mayer, instead we get the new token white accessory to rappers, Adam Levine of Maroon 5 helping out with a soulful performance on Heard ‘em Say. Also Jamie Foxx shows why he got the Oscar for his portrayal of Ray Charles as I originally though Gold Digger had a sample of Ray’s I Got a Woman, until I realized that it was different lyrics. Other decent appearances include Jay-Z on Diamond from Seirra Leone (Remix) along with Consequence and Cam’Ron on Gone. But on the flip side Brandy can’t carry a tune and lives of to the name of her contribution, Bring Me Down. Lupe Fiasco gives an uninspiring verse on Touch the Sky. The Houston inspired Drive Slow featuring Paul Wall and GLC drags the album down too much. And even though Nas is in my top 5 rappers, his contribution We Major falls flat.

Another major different between Kanye’s two albums is that The College Dropout sounded like a concept album revolving around college with track flowing into each other perfectly. The thoughts on Late Registration sounds more like great songs that are thrown together. For instance, there is a bad transition between Touch the Sky that goes straight into Jamie Foxx’s acapella beginning of Gold Digger. The only thing that barely hold Late Registration together are the four skits throughout the album dealing with a fake fraternity, Broke Phi Broke.

The highlight of this album, much like his last, is Kanye’s quirky wordplay. He doesn’t drop references as obscure as the Beastie Boys, but he’s working on it. But what other rapper would quote John Denver; “I'm going on an airplane, and I don't know if I'll be back again” (Touch the Sky). Tim Hardaway, Gil Scott-Heron, Shirley Bassey, Sam Cooke, Forrest Gump, Nicky Giovanni, The Jeffersons, Gone with the Wind, Anakin Skywalker, and Jennifer Aniston all get namedropped throughout the album. But like his last album, the best line involves Michael Jackson, “She was suppose to buy ya shorty Tyco with ya money. She went to the doctor got lypo with ya money. She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money” (Gold Digger). But honorable mentions go to “Ask the reverend was the strip club cool if my tips help send a pretty girl through school” (We Major) and “If a stripper named Porscha and u get tips from many men, then your fat friend, her nickname is Minivan” (Diamonds from Sierra Leone).

Song to Download – Hey Mama

Late Registration gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.