I Hate Huckabees

I recently got conned into watching two of the worst movies in consecutive weeks. Both were touted as being critically acclaimed yet one didn't have a discernable plot while the other I believe had a plot, I just couldn't follow it.

The movie that went over my head was I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees. Now I let the critics and friends talk me into this movie against my best judgement as I avoid movies with Marky-Mark like they are chick flicks. Not only did it have the former leader of the Funky Bunch, it also had Jude Law. For those that missed the Oscars, Chris Rock pointed out that if you can't get Tom Cruise and all you can get is Jude Law, wait. Unfortunately for the makers of I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees, they didn't get this piece of advise before they finished casting.

But even if it had more real actors (i.e. Dustin Hoffman), the main problem of the film is that most of it went over my head. Basically the story follows a tree hugging hippie (the drummer from Phantom Planet) trying to figure out three chance encounters with a Manute Bol looking doorman. So he does what anyone would do, go see existential detectives. Umm, wait, what did I just type? And here in lies the problem, I have a feeling that you need to be a member of MENSA to follow this movie.

Then late in the movie, for a reason that made no to me, the uglied up the token hot chick (who also played the token hot chick in The Ring, and The Ring 2 and, umm, I think that’s it). It made no sense why they did this, like everything else in the movie, and thus ruined the only aspect of the movie I could enjoy.

I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

The other massively overrated movie I saw recently was Napoleon Dynamite. This was even worse than Mr. Good Vibration's movie. My first problem with the movie is that it has no discernable plot. It was just one lame set-up after another. Secondly, and most importantly, is that it wasn't even funny. There was only one point in the movie when I actually laughed, when Napoleon got picked up by Pedro's cousins. I have a feeling that you need to be an uber-nerd to like this movie.

Napoleon Dynamite gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

In the end, Napoleon Dynamite is the anti-I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees whereas I (insert lame symbol here) Huckabees was too smart for me, Napoleon Dynamite was just too dumb.