Even though I mentioned the time during the latest 57 Channels, but it didn’t really don on me just how late this year’s Hip Hop Honors started until I switched over from Heroes
(seriously, when is Kristen Bell showing up, the show is really getting painful to watch). A ten o’clock start time is just way too late for a two hour special. VH1 should know I like to get to bed promptly at ten-thirty so I can get my twelve hours of beauty sleep in. The late start time is most likely because of the absolutely horrible I Love New York, although if Midget Mac sticks around I may watch. Does anyone know if he did? (Be warned if you know the answer I will think less of you as a person). But anyways. You can (re)watch the performances and more over at hiphop.vh1.com. Here are some thoughts of this year’s festivities:- Tracy Morgan is you host this year and fails to garner a laugh. And this is why I always have to scratch my head whenever someone tries to convince me that 30 Rock
is funny because he is part of the show. Not to mention how overrated Tina Fey is. People always seem to forget she was the head writer for what is considered the least funny Saturday Night Live era ever (although the current era is trying to take that title). Yeah she was funny during Weekend Update, but that segment is idiot proof, even Jimmy Fallon was able to be funny during it. See, rants like this happen when I only get ten hours of sleep. Okay, back on track.
- They get the token female honoree out of the way earlier with Missy Elliot, the first misstep the show has had. If you insist on having a female, why not Queen Latifah, Roxanne Shanté or Mary J. Blige. I would even take the chick that sang Pump Up the Jam over her. Elliot is completely overvalued as a rapper just because of her eye-popping videos, but all her songs are mediocre at best. Her tribute was skippable with Eve, Nelly Furtado (don’t ask me what she was wearing), Ciara, and Tweet out of obscurity and yet no trash bag dresses in sight. Yawn.- What, is the producer born Sean Combs going back to P. Diddy? I thought he was going as Diddy these days. Why bring back the “P”? Inquiring corny white dude minds need to know.
- He is out to honor New Jack Swing. I could name a dozen hip-hop artists more deserving, but I’ll let it go because long before the 9th Green existed I still made my best songs of the year lists for my own amusement and the very first list I made back in 1996 had No Diggity at number one. And to this day whenever I find myself in front of a microphone I find myself going through the whole, “Check, baby, check baby 1, 2, 3, 4” routine and sometimes bust out an entire verse depending on the audience. Fun Fact: Rump Shaker was actually written by an unknown Pharrell Williams who showed up twice last night yet for some reason was not involved in the Teddy Riley segment. But if you are going to pay tribute to New Jack Swing do you really need a Michael Jackson song? But we did find out why T-Pain uses that voice box thing because dude has a horrible singing voice.- Wild Style
is honored next. Never seen it, let’s move on.- Whodini is a little before my time, but Freaks Come Out at Night is still a classic. I do feel bad for the group that they were resigned to having Nick Cannon, Nelly and Jermaine Dupri as part of their tribute. They really deserve better than that.
- Harvey Keitel fills this year’s token white dude quota to honor Snoop Dogg. Dr. Dre, who has been conspicuously absent for all the Hip Hop Honors, again isn’t present this year even though half the songs performed are technically his song. Maybe he will make an appearance once he finally finishes Detox because he really need to be honored himself or with N.W.A. as a group.
- And now what I have been waiting for four years, Q-Tip, Phife Dawg, Ali Shaheed Muhammad, and Jarobi: A Tribe Called Quest. Common does a decent job with Bonita Applebum, one of the few great rap love songs, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up when the beat for Scenrio started up. You know you are a great performer when you can just spout jibberish like Busta Rhymes did, I think he only rapped four actual words from the orginal verse, and still get everyone excited, yet Lupe Fiasco flubs a line and gets universally panned. Of cource how do you mess up the BBD line? But that all paled in compairison when Tribe themslves hit the stage for thilling renditions of Check the Rhyme and my presonal favorite Award Tour.Now that A Tribe Called Quest is no longer the most deserving to be honored next, it is time to pick someone to replace them and I think I’ll go with Slick Rick to fill that void. In fact, here are the rappers who would be honored if I were running the show (who you got?):
Slick Rick
EPMD
Doug E. Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew
Too $hort (if Dr. Dre passes)
The Pharcyde
Yo! MTV Raps (Fab 5 Freddy, Ed Lover, Doctor Dré, Ted Demme)
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