Recasting We Are the World

When Michael Jackson passed away, like most people I went back and listened to the music of his on my iPod which included We Are the World. That got me to thinking it that there was still plenty of poverty in Africa and it may be time to remake the song for a newer generation (especially considering Do They Know it's Christmas? is already on it'd third version). While doing research, I realized the twenty-fifth anniversary was this year so I sat on the suggestions I made at the time so I could release it to coincide with the anniversary. Then new came out last week that the co-writers of the song Lionel Richie and Quincy Jones (along with Jackson) were planning on doing so after the Grammy’s next week to benefit Haitian relief (so I guess they will be renaming the group USA for Haiti). So here are my suggestions next to those that did the original part. And as a point of reference, here is the original song:




Lionel Richie – Ne-Yo

Stevie Wonder – Maxwell

Paul Simon – John Mayer

Kenny Rogers – Taylor Swift

James Ingram – John Legend

Tina Turner - Beyoncé

Billy Joel – Norah Jones

Michael Jackson – Michael Jackson

Diana Ross – Christina Aguilera

Dionne Warwick – Alicia Keys

Willie Nelson – Keith Urban

Al Jarreau – Justin Timberlake

Bruce Springsteen – dude from Green Day

Kenny Loggins – dude from Fall Out Boy

Steve Perry – dude from Maroon 5

Daryl Hall – Robin Thicke

Michael Jackson – Michael Jackson

Huey Lewis – dude from The Fray

Cyndi Lauper – Lady Gaga

Kim Carnes – Kelly Clarkson

Bob Dylan – Dave Matthews

Ray Charles – Jamie Foxx

Stevie Wonder – Stevie Wonder

Bruce Springsteen – Bruce Springsteen

Dan Akroyd – Adam Sandler

Jackson Family Chorus – Jonas Brothers and other Disney stars Chorus


Naturally the hardest singer to recast was Michael Jackson himself and came I up with three alternatives; Bono, who technically is not American; Prince, who was actually supposed to duet with Jackson in the original but didn’t show up the first time; or have a chorus do all his part. But maybe it would be best to just pipe in his original vocals. And even though I recast their earlier parts, I still have to bring back Bruce Springsteen and Stevie Wonder to recreate their duet which was the highlight the orginal. Not bringing them back would have been like not asking Bono to sing "Tonight thank God it's them instead of you" for the new Do They Know it's Christmas? versions.

We on Award Tour: 2010 Grammy Awards Nominations

Last year’s Grammy Nomination special was a good watch if not overblown with most performances paying tributes to past winners. This year was as lame as lame gets with no nod to the past except Maxwell’s excellent tribute to Michael Jackson. The Black Eyed Peas sucked massively. Sugarland was bland. And who cares about Nick Jonas and the Association? He and his brothers have only been nominated once and his new band as never played live ever. It would have been fine for the Kids Choice Awards, but not something associated with the Grammy’s. Oh and I would call the LL Cool J opening embarrassing, but this is coming from a guy who stars on an NCIS spin-off, nothing gets less credible than that.

And of course there were the award nominations which may have been the worst collection of artists ever assembled for a Grammy telecast. When they read Song of the Year, if it weren’t for the inclusion of Maxwell, I would have thought it was a VMA nomination. And Record of the Year was even worse because it was the same nominees with the Black Eyed Peas switched out for Maxwell. Best New Artist was conspicuously absent from the show, but I understood why when I saw the actual nominees. Below are some of the major categories and my thoughts (for all 109 categories, including one that has Michael J. Fox, Richard Dreyfuss, Jimmy Carter and Carrie Fisher battling it out, head over to Grammy.com):

Record of the Year
Halo - Beyonce
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Who Will Win: Halo
Who Should Win: Use Somebody

I have a feeling (no crappy song reference intended) that Beyonce is going to go home with more than a few Grammy’s this year (she leads the nominations with ten; but keep in mind there are an absurd amount of R&B categories), they have loved her in the past and with the amount of nominations she garnered, they still do. So what is the dude who wrote the song basically reproduced the same song for Kelly Clarkson and Leona Lewis. Of course, keep in mind the Joe Satriani stealing Viva la Vida won this award last year. Hopefully Use Somebody wins because it was truly the best song of the last twelve months.


Album of the Year
I Am...Sasha Fierce - Beyonce
The E.N.D. - The Black Eyed Peas
The Fame - Lady Gaga
Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King - Dave Matthews Band
Fearless - Taylor Swift

Who Will Win: I Am...Sasha Fierce
Who Should Win: Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King

Remember the good old days when the Grammy’s were considered too old, when Herbie Hancock was beating out Kanye West, Amy Winehouse (or as Ringo Starr says, Amy White House) and Foo Fighters? Now they look like as if MTV were doing the nominations. With any luck everyone else splits the youth vote and the Dave Matthews Band. But then again, the Grammy’s didn’t even bother to put LeRoi Moore in the In Memoriam section last year so I won’t hold my breath.


Best Rock Album
Black Ice - AC/DC
Live From Madison Square Garden - Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood
21st Century Breakdown - Green Day
Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King - Dave Matthews Band
No Line on the Horizon - U2

Who Will Win: No Line on the Horizon
Who Should Win: Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King

Conventional wisdom would say that since the Dave Matthews Band was nominated over U2 for Album of the Year they would beat them here, but I wouldn’t be surprised that people vote for U2 here since they weren’t nominated for the big one. Keep in mind U2 nor Green Day, who both have won the award recently, were not nominated for Record of the Year, but Lady Gaga and the Black Eyed Peas were. Really, when was the last U2 record not nominated for that award?


Song of the Year
Poker Face - Lady Gaga & RedOne
Pretty Wings - Hod David & Musze (Maxwell)
Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) - Thaddis Harrell, Beyonce Knowles, Terius Nash & Christopher Stewart
Use Somebody - Caleb Followill, Jared Followill, Matthew Followill & Nathan Followill (Kings of Leon)
You Belong With Me - Liz Rose & Taylor Swift

Who Will Win: Pretty Wings
Who Should Win: Use Somebody

Keep in mind that this is a songwriting award. Poker Face was nominated for a songwriting award. Just let that soak in for a moment. I should be taking this time to laugh at Single Ladies being nominated for a songwriting award, but Poker Face is an even bigger joke to be nominated for a songwriting award.


Best New Artist
Zac Brown Band
Keri Wilson
MGMT
Silversun Pickups
The Ting Tings

Who Will Win: Who Knows
Who Should Win: Who Cares

Now I understand why this category wasn’t announced live. And to think, one of these artist can pick up an award previously won by Milli Vanilli. And so what if Silversun Pickups released their second album this year or that Keri Hilson (note that the misspelling of her name was a cut and paste, not my mistake) was been in the biz since 2001.


Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals
I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
We Weren't Born to Follow - Bon Jovi
Never Say Never - The Fray
Sara Smile - Daryl Hall & John Oates
Kids – MGMT

Who Will Win: I Gotta Feeling
Who Should Win: Sara Smile

Yes, that was a song from 1975 being nominated, that is just how bad music was this year.


Best Rap Album
Universal Mind Control - Common
Relapse – Eminem
R.O.O.T.S. - Flo Rida
The Ecstatic - Mos Def
The Renaissance - Q-Tip

Who Will Win: Relapse
Who Should Win: The Renaissance

I doubt he wins, but it is nice to see Q-Tip nominate. Hopefully he does go on another Award Tour. Too bad Kamaal the Abstract didn’t get one too.

It’s a Little too Late for You to Come Back

The music industry has been sinking in quick sand for the last couple years, but expect the bleeding to stop this week because Beyoncé has what ails the industry and that is a double album. Yeah so to this point she has yet to fill one album full of great music and her last didn’t have any great songs on it but… wait, I have nothing, this is a bad idea to end all bad ideas.

Granted I Am… Sasha Fierce is only a double album in that it comes in two disks, but combined, the two albums only add up to eleven songs and just over forty minutes. Even the Deluxe Edition and its sixteen songs clock in at just over an hour, something that could easily fit on a single disk. So if we learn one thing from her new album it is Beyoncé hates the environment.

As for the music, the album is split into two separate categories, the I Am section of the album is the slower, mellower portion while her alter ego Sasha Fierce is the more dance oriented part of the album. Sasha Fierce is a complete throw away, like when you buy the Rocky the Complete Collection
and throw away and forget the last two movies never existed, that is what you will want to do to the second disk. They are filled will boring Timbaland wannabe produced songs that rank at the bottom of anything B has ever done before.

I Am is much more respectable, even if nothing really comes close to any of her past glory. The closest comes in the form of Halo, a foot stomping, hand clamping romp that sounds made for a cavernous chapel. For those that put down the extra six bucks for the Deluxe Edition, be sure to go to the end for That’s Why You’re Beautiful, B’s most adventurous song to date, not that that says much.

You would think marriage would change some of the priorities of Beyoncé, but she has stuck too many of the same themes that she has beat to death on her previous album. Despite her nuptials, she still apparently hates the opposite sex mocking us guys on If I Were a Boy. Then there is Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) which calls out those with commitment issues, but as we all know she found one that doesn’t have one. But the most laughable track is Dive which Beyoncé claims is the female version of a hustler. Um, no. But keep trying to convince yourself.

The biggest disappointment comes from Babyface who penned the bland Broken-Hearted Girl. I have been hoping for a Babyface resurgence to save R&B for the mostly unlistenable version of today that relies way too much on hip-hop, but his contribution is the same lifeless tale of I Will Survive that Beyoncé has gone over time and time again. Hopefully ’Face can find that magic touch again, and bring back Boyz II Men when he does. I really miss real R&B.

Song to Download - Halo

I Am… Sasha Fierce gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

We on Award Tour: 2007 MTV Video Music Awards Nominations

The MTV Music Video Awards: once was the cream of the crop of all awards show now it is barely the most entertaining award show on its own network. Yeah this could be because of poor choices of hosts. No host announced for this year (yet?) but Timbaland has been named the music maestro whatever that means. There were some huge shake ups in the categories this year with a significantly less number of them than before including the category that were voted on by the fans, Viewers Choice and the MTV2 Award. Also gone are all the genre categories, so no rap, hip-hop, r&b, rock and pop. Although this year you can vote for the Best New Artist here. Also it looks like this year most of the categories are more about a portfolio of work rather than a specific video by an artist, a change I hate because it puts more focus on the artist instead of the video. But anyways.

The show airs September 9th and as part as being the music maestro Timbaland got to picvck the performers that will include himself (naturally), Chris Brown, Fall Out Boy, Foo Fighters, Rihanna, Kanye West, and Amy Winehouse. Lily Allen is also scheduled to perform but considering her work visa got yanked she may have to do so via satellite. Also Mark Ronson with be the house DJ this year. Now here are this year’s nominees:


Video of the Year
Amy Winehouse - Rehab
Beyoncé - Irreplaceable
Justice - D.A.N.C.E.
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around ...
Kanye West - Stronger
Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z) - Umbrella

Who Will Win: What Goes Around…
Who Should Win: Stronger
Should Have Been Nominated: Signal Fire - Snow Patrol

Timberlake and Beyoncé so conventional wisdom says one of them will take home the biggest prize, not that either deserve it. Yeah What Goes Around… was entertaining in a they were actually taking it seriously kind of way but it doesn’t even rank in the top ten of the past year. But to look on the bright side, if either win Kanye just may storm the stage.


Male Artist of the Year
Akon - Don't Matter, I Wanna Love You (featuring Snoop Dogg), Smack That (featuring Eminem)
Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothing, Stronger, Classic (Better Than I've Ever Been - DJ Premier remix, featuring Nas, KRS-One and Rakim)
Justin Timberlake - Let Me Talk To You/ My Love, SexyBack (featuring Timbaland), What Goes Around ...
T.I. - Big Things Poppin' (Do It), You Know What It Is (featuring Wyclef Jean), What You Know
Robin Thicke - Can U Believe, Lost Without U, Wanna Love You Girl (remix, featuring Busta Rhymes and Pharrell)

Who Will Win: Kanye West
Who Should Win: Kanye West
Should Have Been Nominated: Common

Here is my big complaint on the multiple videos thing; if Akon were to win do Snoop Dogg and Eminem get an award too or even allowed on stage? They may just give this to Kanye to appease him from getting too upset.


Female Artist of the Year
Amy Winehouse - Rehab, You Know I'm No Good
Beyoncé - Irreplaceable, Beautiful Liar (featuring Shakira)
Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal), Glamorous (featuring Ludacris), Fergalicious (featuring Will.I.Am)
Nelly Furtado - Maneater, Say It Right
Rihanna - Umbrella (featuring Jay-Z)

Who Will Win: Beyoncé
Who Should Win: Beyoncé
Should Have Been Nominated: Lily Allen

It is a shame that Lily Allen isn’t included here because her trio of videos are more entertaining than any other anything else on this list, most of which are downright boring. Of course MTV would rather nominate the bigger stars in exchange for them to show up at the awards to perform or present. And did MTV run a test to make sure Fergie belongs in this here?


Best New Artist
Amy Winehouse - Rehab, You Know I'm No Good
Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats
Gym Class Heroes - Clothes Off, Cupid's Chokehold/ Breakfast in America
Lily Allen - Alfie, Smile, LDN
Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks

Who Will Win: Gym Class Heroes
Who Should Win: Lily Allen
Should Have Been Nominated: Cold War Kids

It is odd that Underwood only has one video listed because she has released five videos off here album. Of course that is almost as odd as here getting a nomination at all because 1) her album was released a year and a half ago, 2) she doesn’t appeal to MTV’s core demographic. I wonder if she has ever been played on the channel. Again, you can vote for the Best New Artst. I am not going to say who you should vote for, but be sure you vote for Lily Allen


Best Group
Fall Out Boy - This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race, Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Gym Class Heroes - Clothes Off, Cupid's Chokehold/ Breakfast in America
Linkin Park - What I've Done
Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder
White Stripes - Icky Thump

Who Will Win: Gym Class Hero
Who Should Win: Linkin Park
Should Have Been Nominated: Arctic Monkeys

This will most likely come down to Fall Out Boy and Gym Class Heroes but I think it will go to the latter signifying the end of the Fall Out Boy era. Hooray. As for quality it comes down to Linkin Park and the White Stripes, with LP having a slight edge.


Most Earthshattering Collaboration
Akon (featuring Eminem) - Smack That
Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar
Justin Timberlake (featuring Timbaland) - SexyBack
Gwen Stefani (featuring Akon) - The Sweet Escape
U2 (featuring Green Day) - The Saints Are Coming

Who Will Win: Beyoncé and Shakira
Who Should Win: U2 (featuring Green Day)
Should Have Been Nominated: Mark Ronson (featuring Lily Allen) - Oh My God

In an attempt to remain cool we get lame category names like Eathshattering. Yawn. You are showing your age MTV. And don’t ask me why all the videos are “featuring” someone except the Beyoncé and Shakira one.


Quadruple Threat of the Year
Beyoncé
Bono
Jay-Z
Justin Timberlake
Kanye West

Who Will Win: Justin Timberlake
Who Should Win: Bono
Should Have Been Nominated: Scooter McGavin

What does this even mean and why should we care?


Monster Single of the Year
Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend
Daughtry - Home
Fall Out Boy - Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Lil Mama - Lip Gloss (No Music)
T-Pain (featuring Yung Joc) - Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin')
Timbaland (featuring Keri Hilson, D.O.E. and Sebastian) - The Way I Are
MIMS - This Is Why I'm Hot
Plain White T's - Hey There, Delilah
Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z) - Umbrella
Shop Boyz - Party Like A Rock Star

Who Will Win: Umbrella
Who Should Win: Hey There, Delilah
Should Have Been Nominated: Rockstar (Nickelback)

Just to show how out of touch I am with the current MTV generation (keep in mind I was part of the original generation), six of the ten nominations have a very good chance of showing up on my Worst Songs of 2007 list. And the other four won’t be charting very high on my 100 Best Songs of 2007 list either if at all. And can the Fall Out Boy single really be considered a “Monster” single? And why are the Video Awards honoring single? Well I guess it is better than the ring tone catagory last year. I could easily rattle off at least ten song that were bigger hits this past year. As for Nickelback, I am going to talk more about this song tomorrow (or by Friday at the latest).


I am not really one to comment on the technical awards but here are those:

Best Director
Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar (director - Jake Nava)
Christina Aguilera - Candyman (directors - Matthew Rolston and Christina Aguilera)
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around ... (director - Samuel Bayer)
Kanye West - Stronger (director - Hype Williams)
Linkin Park - What I've Done (director - Joseph Hahn)
Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z) - Umbrella (director - Chris Applebaum)


Best Editing in a Video
Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar (editor - Jarett Figl)
Gnarls Barkley - Smiley Faces (editor - Ken Mowe)
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around ... (editor - Hollee Singer)
Kanye West - Stronger (editors - Peter Johnson and Corey Weisz)
Linkin Park - What I've Done (editor - Igor Kovalik)


Best Choreography in a Video
Beyoncé and Shakira - Beautiful Liar (choreographer - Frank Gatson)
Chris Brown - Wall To Wall (choreographers - Rich & Tone and Flii Styles)
Ciara - Like A Boy (choreographer - Jamaica Craft)
Eve - Tambourine (choreographer - Tahesha Scott)
Justin Timberlake - My Love (choreographer - Marty Kudelka)

In or Out: Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Edition vol. 3

Next Monday the latest crop of inductees are getting a spot reserved at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and in honor of that, AOL has a list of twenty-five potential future inductees from the late eighties and nineties for people to vote on. Oddly when I voted, each and every artist had a no vote. Here is the last of three posts, ten each post. I’ll have two different ways of deciding. First whether they will actually get in and if I had a vote, would I vote that artist in. Like I said, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction is next Monday and for the very first time (at least that I’m aware of) VH1 Classic will be covering it live starting at 8:30. You can also catch VH1’s usually butcher cut down version the following Saturday at 9:00. Now onto the list:

(Check out vol. 1)
(Check out vol. 2)

Joan Jett (already eligible)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: No

Every once in a while the Hall likes to induct artist solely on the strength of one song, most recently with Percy Sledge. Joan Jett could definitely fall into this with I Love Rock and Roll. The thing with Jett is that if you look at her whole career, with the Runaways and the Blackhearts, she may be Hall worthy, but either individual band or she by herself is not and unfortunately, the Hall doesn’t induct people for their involvement with other groups.


Nine Inch Nails (eligible 2019)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

I never got on the NIN bandwagon, much too electronic for my taste. As for the Hall, the group really only had two hit albums, not really screaming Hall worth. Although Trent Resnor may be able to sneak in because he was pretty innovative at the time being the first electronic hard rock outfit.


Alanis Morissette (eligible 2020)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

I guess she was included because she has the highest selling debut album ever. But if you look at who she took the title from, Hootie and the Blowfish and Boston, you have a band that won’t likely get in (although I’d vote for Hootie) and a band that has been eligible for a while without even being making it to the nomination phase. Plus she was a one trick pony as a token angry chick that has fallen into obscurity after getting over her anger issues.


Oasis (eligible 2019)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

A lock for the UK Hall of Fame but unless the band has a late career resurgence but just doesn’t have the resume to get in stateside. They only had two relevant albums here, both of which had some missteps. Everything since has been for the most part rightfully ignored although you can find some gems in their later catalogues like the sorely overlooked Stop Crying Your Heart Out.


Destiny’s Child (eligible 2023)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

Plenty of great songs by the group but their first three albums were spotty after the single and their last album was absolutely horrible. And that may be their last album with Beyoncé focusing on her solo and acting career. Well until they both wane and the girls get back for the inevitable reunion tour. But as is, the group is far from being Hall worthy.


So those were the twenty-five artist that were mentioned in the AOL list. Next are five artists that didn’t make that list but are worth discussing. The first two were purposed by Russ while the last three are groups that I wanted to bring up.

Soundgarden (eligible 2013)
Will Get In: No
Would I Vote: No

The Hall, much as time has been, will not be kind to the Grunge era. Nirvana is in, Pearl Jam barely gets in, but I doubt another Grunge era band gets inducted wether it is deserved or not. Yeah, Soundgarden was one of the few bands from the era that successfully transitioned in the post-grunge, alternative phase and I much perfered Superunknown and Down on the Upside opposed to the rest of their catalogued but if I were to vote for a third band from the Grunge era, I would give it to Alice in Chains.


Smashing Pumpkins (eligible 2018)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

Speaking of that the post-grunge alternative years, arguable there wasn’t a bigger band during that time that the Smashing Pumpkins. That should be enough to get the Pumpkins into the Hall and possible a fist ballot vote despite, like most double albums, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness would have been better as a single disk and they turned into a rock and roll cliché when a touring band member overdosed while in the company of the drummer.


Dave Matthews Band (eligible 2019)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

The biggest touring band of our era, two classic albums (Under the Table and Dreaming, Before These Crowded Streets) and even their worst album (Everyday) is still listenable. The Hall doesn’t seem to like the jam bands aside from The Greatful Dead, which doesn’t look good for the chances for Phish, but Dave and the boys should get in.


Sarah McLachlan (eligible 2014)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

McLaughlin will most like get in solely because of Lilith Fair but the music part of her is definitely there too. Sometime she is an afterthought because she does take a while between albums but is versatile going from an angelic song like, well, Angel yet can be very haunting like on Possession.


Public Enemy (eligible 2012)
Will Get In: Yes
Would I Vote: Yes

Forget a second about Flavor Flav’s recent reality television exploits, because PE were one of the most influential rap groups of the late eighties with two album that any hip-hop fan should be ashamed not to have (It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, Fear of a Black Planet). I’ve said this many times before talking about potential inductees, but we cannot easily predicted rappers odds on getting in until we see hoe they treat the first wave, but it would be egregious not to have PE in. Plus who doesn’t want to see a Flavor Flav on the wrong side of fifty on stage one more time?

Worst Albums of 2006

Throughout the last twelve months I have reviewed over a hundred albums and sadly some of them were not exactly good thanks to record executives using non traditional ways to find new artist in recent years like reality shows. Plus they unwisely thought that just because an artist had a lot of friends on MySpace means that they can make good music. Now my list is only of albums that I reviewed since there way too many American Karaoke contestants that didn’t even win releasing albums and the My Chemical Romance album was so bad I couldn’t even make thought the whole album. So here’s the worst of the worst and if you are interested in reading my original review, click the link below the album, the album link goes to iTunes if you enjoy torture:

1. Paris - Paris Hilton
Since I'm Already Screwed, Here's a Message to You

2. Undiscovered - Brooke Hogan
Musings from the Back 9: VH1 Reality Albums Edition (third item)

3. The Dutchess - Fergie
Toss Up: Clay Aiken vs Fergie

4. Taylor Hicks - Taylor Hicks
I Got My Degree in Crying

5. I’m Not Dead - Pink
It's Hypocritical of You

6. Playing with Fire - Kevin Federline
I'm Kevin Federline, America's Most Hated

7. A Thousand Different Ways - Clay Aiken
Toss Up: Clay Aiken vs Fergie

8. FutureSex/LoveSounds - Justin Timberlake
Go 'Head Be Gone with It

9. Danity Kane - Danity Kane
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition (second item)

10. What’s Left of Me - Nick Lachey
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition (forth item)

11. Cassie - Cassie
It's Not that Deep

12. The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
This Sounds like Disco Tetris

13. Press Play - Diddy
I'm from the Eighties NYC Five Percent of Culture

14. On an Island - David Gilmour
It's Just the Dice You Roll

15. The Day Has Come - Cheyenne Kimball
This Is Gonna Rock Until it Rolls

16. Blowin’ Up - Jamie Kennedy & Stu Stone
Goodnight Michelle

17. B’Day - Beyoncé
I Could Have Another You in a Moment

18. A Public Affair - Jessica Simpson
If You Want to Impress a Hick Then Make it Go Tick

19. In My Mind - Pharrell
I Know this Part Ain't Pretty but You Know I'll Be Busy

20. We Don’t Need to Whisper - Angels & Airwaves
Everyone Will Listen Even if it Hurts Sometimes

21. The Phoenix - Lyfe Jennings
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition (third item)

22. Goodbye Alice in Wonderland - Jewel
I’m Embarrassed to Say the Rest Is Rock n Roll Cliché

23. The High Road - JoJo
Your Chance Has Come and Gone

24. Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose - Meat Loaf
There Were Moments of Gold and Flashes of Light

25. Release Therapy - Ludacris
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition III (first item)

When I Come Back Like Jordan Wearing the 4-5

…It’s not to play games with you.” That was a line uttered on Encore, a song from the retirement album of Jay-Z. Then during what Jay called the worst retirement ever, he released a duet album with R. Kelly, a mash-up album with Linkin Park (not to mention the unofficial mash-up, The Grey Album), and spit verses on multiple different albums. Even his comeback was the worst kept secret in music circles as Kanye West and Pharrell of the Neptunes both said they were working on the project long before Jay admitted he was coming out of retirement.

So three years after his farewell with The Black Album, Jay-Z is back with Kingdom Come, a name that comes from a Superman comic book of the same name where the Man of Steel comes back from self exile. Much like his previous album, Jay handles almost all the rapping himself with guests like John Legend, Usher, Beyoncé, Ne-Yo, and Chris Martin (yes the dude from Coldplay) relegated to singing the hooks. And then there is the steller line of producers, aside the previously mentioned West and Neptunes, Swizz Beatz, Just Blaze, and Dr. Dre who behind the boards for five tracks.

The rust still lingers as Jay isn’t on the top of his game for most of the disk. He even brings down some of the joints as his flow is just anemic over Blaze’s great beat of Oh My God. But Blaze doesn’t repeat that success as his sample of Rick James doesn’t work on the title track. And he was also at the helm of the weak comeback single Show Me What You Got that jacks the same sax from the early nineties oversexed Rump Shaker. The Neptunes continue their downslide with the unlistenable. West has a misstep with Do U Wanna Ride.

Even Dr. Dre produced a rare weak track with the poorly conceived 30 Something where Jay tries to convince himself that “Thirty is the new twenty.” Dre does much better on the laid back Lost Ones. Trouble takes his trademark sound and makes it futuristic much better than Timbaland tried to do on the horrible Justin Timberlake album (this begs the question was Timbaland absent from Kingdom Come to make that crap?). Dre also has his hands on the best songs on the album that end the album starting with Minority Report that sees Jay tackle Hurricane Katrina and the broader topic of poverty that features snippets from the evening news as well as the infamous, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” That is followed by Beach Chair that features Martin on the hook and behind the board and may be Hova’s most introspective track to date.

Like the last album, Michael Jordon references are a plenty and maybe it’s too true. The poor verses that Jay dropped on other artists songs during his “retirement” were about as good as Jordon’s baseball career. And lets not forget that Jordon didn’t win the championship in his first season back. Hopefully will get back on track with future releases and doesn’t take the Jordon comparison any further or he may quickly turn into the Wizards version of the basketball star, as Jay already has the executive power.

Song to Download - Oh My God

Kingdom Come gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Could Have Another You in a Minute

Things don’t look so good for Beyoncé. She started off the summer inundated with rumors of her man’s infidelity with Rihanna who is basically Beyoncé five years ago. Then her latest album B’Day has gotten little buzz as her record label had to rush out a second single after the first failed to make a dent at radio. Of course this may because even the novice listener could tell Déjà vu was a knock off of her first solo hit Crazy in Love except without the great Chi-Lites sample Jay-Z shows us why he should have stayed retired as his flow has gotten anemic (and his verse on Upgrade U isn't much better).

Things don’t get much better for B on the rest of the album which was somewhat inspired by her character for the upcoming Dreamgirls. Keeping with the “heard it all before” theme, the second single Ring the Alarm sounds like a rehash of Kelis’ Caught Out There. Well except Kelis sounded like a woman scorn ready to fight back where Beyoncé just seems made just because some other chick is rockin’ her chinchilla coats (and on that note can someone explain VVS stones to me please). Not to mention Christina Aguilera was more entertaining when she had to “ring the alarm” because Redman was throwing elbows on Dirrty.

Then there is Suga Mama where she uses food as a euphemism for sex, but Adam Sandler did that over a decade ago with Food Innuendo Guy, and at least he was intentionally funny. Then Beyoncé tries to add another word to the vernacular, but I’ve used Bootylicious, Bootylicious is a favorite word of mine, and Feakum Dress, my sir, is no Bootylicious.

Not if there is a glimmer of hope for Beyoncé it comes at the tail end of the album. Irreplaceable is up there with anything she has done, albeit solo or with Destiny’s Child. You can hear the hurt in her voice which cause her to miss a note or two, but that only adds to the mystique of the song. Resentment is also a slow song that starts as an acoustic song that builds making a great capper to an album.

But wait there’s more; there are a few hidden tracks. First Beyoncé talks about how she wants to give her fans a little extra. Well had she not given the “extra” songs the album would have finished at a paltry thirty-eight minutes, so really there should have been a little more anyways. The first song is Listen which from Dreamgirls and is decent even though it definitely has a “musical” feel to it. Then there is an extended mix of Get Me Bodied that somehow manages to be more annoying than the original. Maybe she should have stopped at Resentment.

Song to Download - Irreplaceable

B’Day gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Don't Download These Videos

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void in art form. So here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Don’t Download This Song - “Weird Al” Yankovic



Ladies and gentleman, it’s the return of “Weird Al” Yankovic. Now, unfortunately the video for the song isn’t a direct parody, but I’m sure everyone out there should get a We Are the World vibe. I finally got a look at the track list and you can expect parodies of Chamillionaire’s Ridin’ (who apparently liked White and Nerdy so much he put it on his MySpace page), Green Day’s American Idiot (Canadian Idiot), Usher’s Confessions part II (Confessions part III), Taylor Hick’s Do I Make You Proad (Do I Creep You Out, in a word, yes, that’s Hicks not Weird Al), and R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet (Trapped in the Drive-Thru at ten plus minutes this should be great, hopefully Al will come out with more Chapters and a DVD like Kelly did). And of course there is the prerequisite polka featuring songs by Kanye West, Coldplay and many more. Oh, and even though the song says not to, check out Dontdownloadthissong.com to do just that.


Maneater - Nelly Furtado



Whoever decided to released Maneater as a single should be fired as it was easily the worst song off of Nelly Furtado’s latest album. But on the bright side the song did produced this extremely cheesy video with its pseudo-vampire theme. The best part is the inexplicable beginning with the dog as if they needed to set up the absurdity that followed because whenever I lose my dog I end up doing a dance off with the undead before I end up finding her.


I Call it Love - Lionel Richie



We all know for as great Lionel Richie is as a singer, he’s as equally as bad a parent. And here those too aspects of his life collide with Nicole showing up in papa’s video. Feel free to insert your own “Nicole’s too skinny” joke here. Speaking of which, Nicole Richie’s first foray into music, Dandelion leaked to the net this week and, well, it’s better than anything by former BFF Paris Hilton. But that’s not saying much, click on her name to give it a listen (warning bad 7th grade poetry ahead). As for daddy dearest, check out for a review of his new album next week.


Play with Fire - Hilary Duff



Speaking of chicks with no redeemable talent to go with their dramatic weight loss, Hilary Duff has a new video out. It’s nice to see she is as bad at dancing as she is at acting, singing, and choosing boyfriends. But to be honest, the song is actually kind of catchy. For those keeping track at home, that’s two songs the Duffster has conned me into liking (the Theme to Laguna Beach being the other). It may be time for an intervention.


Ring the Alarm - Beyonce



I really don’t want to talk too much about the song itself as I will cover that in my album review of Beyonce’s B-Day coming up in the next couple days. But I wonder if the video, especially when she’s being interrogated in the white dress is homage to Basic Instinct, but without the best part. Then there is the hallway scene which is a blatant rip-off of No Doubt’s It’s My Life.


There are a couple of cool contests on the web that I’d like to point out. First I slipped this into my Fall Preview post a couple hours after I originally posted it, so I thought I give it another plug. The newest addition to my Blogs I Read list, Culture Bully, is giving away a free CD for every day in September. So head over to his site to see what three albums you have to choose from today and the complete rules.

Then there is A Yoga Coffee Outlook who is giving away a free iPod Nano. Yes a free iPod, and no you don’t have to buy something else to get it like all the other “get a free iPod” advertisings on their site. There is a bunch of different and easy ways to enter so check out her site to see how.