Worst Albums of 2007

Since I have been completing my favorite songs of the year list for over a decade, thought out the years I hear five or songs and think, there a potential overall number one for this year. The thing is, this year not one song that came out that made me think that making me wonder if 2007 could be the worst year for music in my lifetime overtaking 1999. That was until I started compiling this list of the worst albums of the year and noticed that there were not that many bad albums. This year only two albums garnered the Low Terror Alert level compared with five last year (plus Paris Hilton who is still the only artist to get the elusive Terror Alert Black), and six the year before.

This could also be because there just seemed to be a lot less music period this year. Last year I reviewed about a hundred albums but this year just over fifty got reviewed. But looking over potential songs that will make the top 100 songs of the year, there does seem to be an overabundance of good songs, just not any great ones. In face, the fiftieth best song this year may be the best fiftieth song of all time. So I am ready to declare 2007 the Most Mediocre Year Ever.

With that said, there are a few albums that need to be noted for their unlistenablity. Here are the worst of the worst album that I reviewed in the past five months. If you are interested in reading my original review, click the link below the album, the album link goes to iTunes if you enjoy torture.


1. Blackout - Britney Spears
Musings from the Back 9: 90's Disposable Pop Edition

2. Curtis - 50 Cent
No More Platinum, I'm Wearing Gold

3. Jordin Sparks - Jordin Sparks
I Can't Waste Time so Give it a Moment

4. Underclass Hero - Sum 41
I'm a Voice to Offend

5. Shock Value - Timbaland
I've Been Killin em with These Beats

6. Katharine McPhee - Katharine McPhee
I Want This to Be Over, I So Want This to Be Through

7. Dignity - Hilary Duff
You Wanna Know Why I Look Sad and Lonely

8. Taking Chances - Céline Dion
I Had My Heart Beaten Down but I Always Come Back for More

9. Double Up - R. Kelly
Man, it’s Three’s Company, Call Me Jack Tripper

10. My December - Kelly Clarkson
You're Going Crazy, Running on Empty

11. Spider-Man 3 Soundtrack
Musings from the Back 9: Music Edition vol. V

12. Unbreakable - Backstreet Boys
Musings from the Back 9: 90's Disposable Pop Edition vol. II

13. Zeitgeist - Smashing Pumpkins
Despite All My Rage I am Still Just a Rat in a Cage

14. Good Girl Gone Bad - Rihanna
Now that it's Raining More than Ever

15. Infinity on High - Fall Out Boy
Long Live the Car Crash Hearts

25 Best Live Performances of 2007

While watching Live Earth earlier this year with all the great music, it crossed my mind to come up with the greatest live performances of the past twelve month. And with the Grammy’s, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the thousands of other pat themselves on the back events that the music business throws for themselves, it wasn’t hard to populate a list. I did throw out the talk show performances because 99% of them are just boring rehashes of their album versions. But here are the best of the best of 2007 with links to YouTube where available (and if you have the mp3 of any of them shout me a holla because there are a couple I would like that I haven’t hunted down yet):


1. Gimme Shelter - Keith Urban and Alicia Keys (Live Earth)



2. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley (49th Annual Grammy Awards)



3. Check the Rhyme/Award Tour - A Tribe Called Quest (2007 VH1 Hip-Hop Honors)

4. Like a Star/Coming Home/Gravity - Corrine Bailey Rae, John Legend and John Mayer (49th Annual Grammy Awards)



5. Darling Nikki - Cee-Lo and Foo Fighters (2007 MTV Video Music Awards)



6. Big Bottom - Spinal Tap and an Army of Bassists (Live Earth)

7. Bonita Applebum/Electric Relaxation/Scenario - Common, Pharrell, Lupe Fiasco and Busta Rhymes (2007 VH1 Hip-Hop Honors)

8. Man on the Moon - R.E.M. and Eddie Vedder (2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony)

9. No One/Freedom ’90 - Alicia Keys (2007 MTV Video Music Awards)

10. Not Ready to Make Nice - The Dixie Chicks (49th Annual Grammy Awards)

11. Roxanne - The Police (49th Annual Grammy Awards)

12. Sabotage - Beastie Boys (Live Earth)

13. Go Your Own Way - Carrie Underwood and Lindsay Buckingham (Fashion Rocks)

14. That’s the Thing about Love - Alicia Keys (Live Earth)

15. Message in a Bottle - The Police, John Mayer and Kanye West (Live Earth)

16. Shut Up and Drive - Rihanna and Fall Out Boy (2007 MTV Video Music Awards)

17. Mercy Mercy Me - Corrine Bailey Rae and John Legend (Live Earth)

18. White Lines/Good Times/The Message - Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five (2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony)

19. Drummers - SOS All Stars (Live Earth)

20. For the Love of Money/Living for the City/Mercy Mercy Me - Alicia Keys (Live Earth)

21. Waiting on the World to Change - John Mayer (Live Earth)

22. Bleed it Out - Linkin Park (2007 MTV Video Music Awards)

23. Rehab - Amy Winehouse (2007 MTV Movie Awards)

24. Babylon - David Gray and Damien Rice (Live Earth)

25. Heart of Glass - Blondie and Lily Allen (The Today Show)

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XIII

Quote of the Week: I’m getting married in two hours and fifty years ago. (Olivia, Journeyman)

Song of the Week: Perfidia - Alberto Dominguez (Journeyman)

Big News of the Week: Late Night Coming Back: It seemed like every day this week a new late night show announced its comeback with Worldwide Pants conducting a separate deal with its writers for the Late and Late Late Shows. Then Leno and Conan announced a January second return date with Jimmy Kimmel following with a return the same day. Let’s see if the twenty or so classless writers heckle any of them like they did Carson Daly did this week. You just completely disrespected Carson, Jerry Rice, and the Last Call staff, for what, so you can look like annoying teenagers. If you want to heckle Carson because he is a humongous tool, fine, but it is really selfish to think because you want more money, that means Carson and the rest of his staff shouldn’t be able to put presents under their trees and food on their tables. And this is yet another reason why you are going to end up losing this fight.

Classic Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Coalition Links of the Week:

BuzzSugar: This week, we got pumped about new previews for Lost and Heroes, celebrated the addition of Saved by the Bell to The N, and asked one very important question: Team Serena or Team Blair?

Daemon's TV: This week Sandie took a first look at pictures from the second season of Jericho. Araya posted part three of our interview with the cast of Chuck, including Zachary Levi, Yvonne Strahovski, and Adam Baldwin. Eric shared his thoughts on the pilot of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Glowy Box: After answering some googled questions about Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency and Cash and Treasures, Liz celebrated the holiday season by recapping Pinocchio’s Christmas, which was surprisingly lacking in likeable characters, and Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, the classic Christmastime ode to freedom and Democracy.

Mikey Likes TV: The graciously closure-filled season finale of Dexter put Mikey in the holiday spirit, so he started his countdown of the top 10 shows of 2007 with a look at why he loves 30 Rock so much.

Pop Vultures: This week, Marcia continued her obsession with TV's opening titles by naming the 5 best opening credits sequences, although she's fairly certain no one will agree with her choices. She then managed to gather her thoughts about the Dexter season finale. Also, guest poster Tracey checked in with a woman-on-the-scene report from Monday's strike lines.

RTVW: This week our TV Advent Calendar featured a bonus Bones scene under the mistletoe and we sounded off about our favorite holiday TV. Plus, Rae wondered how an episode of Scarecrow & Mrs King could still be considered "promotional."

Tapeworthy: Merry Ludachristmas! Vance went to "30 Rock" in New York and saw Christmas marathon of stage shows, including the Rockettes, Wintuk and The Grinch Musical (and the White Christmas The Musical back in Toronto). Also back in Toronto, Project Runway Canada had its finale with host Iman getting her regal final word in.

Televisionary: This week, Jace was blown away by the sheer genius of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant's series-ender special of Extras, enraptured by the extended trailer for Season Four of Lost, and felt justified with his picks for the best TV of 2007.

TiFaux: This week, we ended up watching more TV on the internet than on the actual tube. That is, shows produced exclusively for the internet. First, there's the indie rock/comedy duo of Carrie Brownstein (of Sleater-Kinney) and Fred Armisen (of SNL) who produce the pretty darn funny Thunderant series. Then, there's hipster comedians Gabe and Jenny, who created an awesome clip spoofing The Hills. Rounding out the week, Kyle noticed a weird similarity between Pushing Daisies and Bill Murray's Groundhog Day.

The TV Addict: offered up an early review of Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles, interviewed Smallville's Allison Mack and Krisin Kreuk and wrote an Ode to Journeyman.

Tube Talk: Jennifer overdosed on Christmas movies, Ashley shared her favorite TV holiday episodes and readers chimed in with their choices, too, (Chrismukkah and Happy Festivus anyone?) and we rejoiced at the news that (Scooter's Note: Smallville casting spoiler ahead). Merry Christmas everyone!

TV Filter: Raoul interviewed Todd from Survivor. Kate discovered, much to her dismay, that she liked Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants and counted down her favorite not-too-Christmassy Christmas episodes of the past.

TV With MeeVee: We talked to Donald Trump and Gene Simmons - yup - about the upcoming Celebrity Apprentice. We rocked the news that Gossip Girl star Ed Westwick has a rock band. And we taught you how to identify Cylons without having sex with them.


Survivor: Going in, I actually thought that I had correctly guessed the winner after the first week for the second season in a row only for Amanda pull out the worst final tribal council performance since that old dude who lost to the porn star when he started berating the jury for the questions they asked (I want to say that was Marquises). Amanda instead went with some woe is me approach to let Todd steal the win. She even actually got fewer votes than Courtney. How does that happen? A fitting end to the season with some of the dumbest contestants ever. Granted dumb equals entertaining. Next up Survivor pulls something from the MTV Challenges playbook with All Stars vs. fanatics. Hopefully it is better than the all All Star season which ranked near the bottom in entertainment value. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.

Survivor: China gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.




Journeyman: The first episode was easily the best hour of the show, but maybe not for the reasons the writers wanted me to. The absurdity that this new technology changed nothing in present day other than a new kind of PDA, oh, and a daughter instead of a son was just insane. The scene with Dan finding out that he now has a girl may be the most unintentionally funny thing of the year. I was half heartedly hoped that after Dan came back home to find Zach, that Caroline would then come running down the stairs. Oh well.

But the last two episode showed just where the should could have gone with the daughter and the other journeyman making it so he never met his wife. But you got to wonder if the last two episodes were so good only because the writers saw the imminent cancellation and wanted to pull out all the stops. And if so, would these episodes been as bland as the first couple if it were not in trouble?

There in lies the problem with most shows of this ilk, it seems the writers have a five or so year road map of what they want to do, but they spread out the special attractions that there is too much time driving in the corn fields of Iowa that you sometimes have to wonder if it is worth the full drive. Is it that hard to put in something interesting and important in ever episodes, not just premieres, finales and sweeps episodes? Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com. You can also download Journeyman on iTunes.


100 Best Songs of the 90’s: I really hate it when VH1 compiles these list because there are fairly predictable (you really don’t think they will go out on a limb and put anything besides Smells Like Teen Spirit at number one) yet extremely addictive and I have found myself peeking in on it throughout the week. And since it will be repeated excessively since the next VH1 list, I’m sure I will have seen the whole list by New Years even if I didn’t want to. And then everyone around me will here me complain about the list for a while. Seriously VH1, send me a ballot the next time you do one of these list. Also if you need a commentator for it or for the inevitable I Love the ‘00s, shout me a holla.


Promo of the Week: Recently I was watching Dodgeball - A True Underdog Story and who shows up in the movie (besides the Mac guy), none other than Parker from Veronica Mars. Being she was vastly underutilized on the show, especially at the end of the run, I wondered what she was up to these days. After some research I noticed she landed her a recurring role on Eli Stone, whatever that was. After some more research it is apparently a mid-season replacement for ABC (it just so happened to get a timeslot this week with the post Lost slot Thursdays at 10:00). And after seeing this promo (without a Parker sighting, I don’t think she shows up to the third episode) it may be the best or worst thing ever. And the George Michael song isn’t just a random song, supposedly each episode is named after one of songs. Odd choice considering his not so big catalogue. I’m not sure if Wham! titles count.




Next Week’s Pick: #40 on Rolling Stone’s Reasons We Loved Television in ’07 was The writer’s strike for reminding us that our TV has an “off” button and you should utilize that button during the holidays. If you need to escape your family, that’s why God gave us spiked eggnog and champagne. Of course after the holidays are over, be sure to find the “on” by the time the fourth of January comes around for a brand new Friday Night Lights (#38 for using Daniel Johnson’s Devil Town). Now there a good way to start off ’08.

Feed Your iPod: Holiday Edition

Certainly some of you have already threw a shoe at your radio for playing All I Want for Christmas Is You for the hundredth time or are completely sick of you’re a Very Special Christmas collection, but luckily I have stayed away for those stations and stick primarily to my Holiday playlist that is currently up to four and a half hours worth of cheer. So before you break your radio, here are some suggestions to start your own playlist (feel free to hit me up with suggestions in the comment section):


Rudolph the Red-Noise Reindeer - Jack Johnson




Ever wanted an island flavored holiday song? Well here is one from Jack Johnson. As an added bonus he even adds a new verse.


Elf’s Lament - Barenaked Ladies




A nice little ditty if only because it’s not the song with Sarah McLaughlin.


That Was the Worst Christmas Ever! - Sufjan Stevens




For you pretentious types there is Sufjan Stevens who has put out an insane amount of Christmas songs. Here is my favorite of the bunch which isn’t as depressing as the title suggests.


Winter Song - Eisley



Less of a Christmas song than just a wintery song (duh) but if are enjoying a white Christmas or just dreaming of one, this song will do the trick. Unfortunately the EP it is on i not currently available on iTunes.

But I Sphinx Like Leon

Last year in one of his first singles I Gotcha, Lupe Fiasco claimed he came to resurrect hip hop a couple months before Nas even claimed it was dead. All the pretentious types ate it up and declared that Lupe was everything short of the second coming. Then Food & Liquor was released to a resounding yawn. Making matters worse, Lupe infamously flubbed the lines to Electric Relaxation while paying tribute to A Tribe Called Quest during the 2007 Hip-Hop Honors only to blame it on not being familiar with Tribe despite seeming to be part of their backpack rapping lineage. He did get some points back for appearing in the Nickelback video for Rockstar.

The problem, though, with Food and Liquor, was mostly in the bland production. Lupe always had a wicked flow, stealing Kanye West’s Touch the Sky from him, that lacked the profanities, gunplay, and misogynistic lyrics that have made rap a bore this decade. But things looked up when Dumb it Down released earlier this summer with its sparse, Drop it Like it Hot type synth and base drum simplicity which was a better beat than anything on his debut.

And there are plenty of other great beats for Lupe to tackle throughout Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool, mostly provided by Soundtrackk, like the opener Go Go Gadget Flow (not to be confused with Gnarls Barkley’s Go Go Gadget Gospel) with its frantic strings that sounds like it was taken from a lost Dr. Dre album. The guitar laden Hello/Goodbye (Uncool), co-produced by Linkin Park’s Mike Shinoda, is a nice diversion. Surprisingly the Patrick Stump (he of Fall Out Boy fame) produced Little Weapon works with Lupe taking on guns from those used by boy soldiers in foreign land to those used to knock over the cornerstone, gun down classmates and the ones we use in video games.

With most albums that go north of an hour (The Cool comes in at seventy-one minutes), there is some fat that should have been trimmed. Lupe should have gotten someone else to sing for Matthew Santos (not to be confused with the dude who succeeded President Bartlett on The West Wing but to be confused with another Chris Martin knock-off) on the three hooks he appears on. Snoop Dogg adds nothing to Hi-Definition. And Lupe name drops his next album LupEND about two too many times. And I’m not sure yet if Lupe shouting out the blog lupethefiasco.blogspot.com/ was brilliant or cheesy. But had this been his first album, maybe Lupe would have lived up to the hype he garnered last summer.

Song to Download - Dumb it Down

Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Want My House to be Seen from Space

You should know what you are getting with a Christmas movie named Deck the Halls when a family in the movie is named the Halls. Naturally the movie is your token, neighbor vs. neighbor scenario we have seen a thousand times, but this time done with a white background. This time around Danny DeVito (Batman Returns) plays the annoying new neighbor who ruins the very planned out holiday routine from the town’s Christmas specialist Matthew Broderick (Inspector Gadget).

The feud starts, sadly enough, when DeVito sees that his house cannot be seen by MyEarth (think Google Earth) yet Broderick’s is. To make sure he can been seen on the website, DeVito decides to deck his house out with a massive amount of lights and soon, MyEarth isn’t enough and he wants to be seen from space. Naturally Broderick is too fond of all the bright lights, sound and spectators that the display across the street produces and from there some hilarity ensues.

Aside from the two neighbors, the movie is filled with actors that shouldn’t have stooped so low to appear in this movie. Kristen Chenoweth (RV) is DeVito’s better half in more ways than one and seeing the novelty of her actually towering over another actor may actually make it worth the rental. Maeby Fünke shows up as Broderick’s daughter but is relegated to the clichéd moody teenage daughter role. And for some reason Hurley from Lost traveled from Hawaii to Massachusetts in the middle of winter (okay, I bet the movie was filmed in July in Vancouver, but you get what I’m getting at) for three fairly unforgettable lines.

But being a holiday movie makes it a little more tolerable than your usual movie of this type. Then again you will still be better off watching the old Christmas standbys that you have seen multiple times before.

Deck the Halls gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. XII

Quote of the Week: If you get rid of the butterfly, how’s everyone gonna know you’re a stripper from Reno with daddy issues? (Lily, How I Met Your Mother)

Song of the Week: Canceling Christmas this Year - Michelle Featherstone (Smallville)

Big News of the Week: Your Chance to Influence the 9th Green: Just before Thanksgiving I announced The Second Annual 9th Green Readers Favorite Songs of 2007 poll and mentioned it again yesterday. Hopefully you have been thinking about it over the last couple weeks and now it is time to put those songs in list form as we inch closer to the deadline of Christmas Eve at midnight. All you have to do is e-mail you ten favorite songs of the past twelve months in order to ScooterKSU(at)aol(dot)com (subject: 9th Green Readers Poll). You can think of your list to be your Christmas present to me and as an added bonus, whoever sends me their favorite songs will be added to the Scooter McGavin Christmas List and will be getting something come next week.

Classic Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Coalition Links of the Week:

BuzzSugar: This week, we questioned ABC's Thursday scheduling choices, wondered about television's best platonic duo, and made a gingerbread (Dr.) House.

Daemon's TV: This week, Sandie talked about the day she and Araya spent with the cast of Chuck and took a first look at the revamped K.I.T.T. for the new Knight Rider movie. Araya talks about Christmas with 30 Rock.

Glowy Box: It was a fashion-heavy week as Liz (along with the rest of the nation) was outraged by the season finale of America’s Next Top Model, enjoyed the manufactured drama on Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, and loved this week’s challenge on Project Runway.

Mikey Likes TV: Mikey celebrated Pushing Daisies' well-deserved Golden Globe nominations with a run-down of the show's pseudo season ender. If you're up for a play-by-play of Sunday's Extras finale, be sure to check out his liveblog of the night's awkward and hilarious festivities.

Pop Vultures: Marcia counted down the 5 best TV theme songs ever and somehow forgot to include The Love Boat. She also sent her television wishlist to Santa and contemplated the depths of Victorya’s passive-aggression in a recap of last week’s Project Runway.

RTVW: Continuing with our series of behind-the-scenes videos from the folks over at WB, we got our first peek at what goes on inside the Supernatural Writers Room. Spads began her three part series on the Chuck photo shoot she attended, including getting all fangirl-y over Zachary Levi and what Adam Baldwin and Yvonne Strahovski talked about during lunch.

Tapeworthy: Vance thinks 30 Rock and Friday Night Lights are NBC's two best shows right now. He's a little behind on Project Runway but recaps the disaster episodes (the one with male models and the one with shoulder pads), and wraps up the last How I Met Your Mother of the year. Still no mother...hmm.

Televisionary: This week, Jace was beyond thrilled to see Damages, Pushing Daisies, Big Love, and 30 Rock among the nominees for this year's Golden Globes, intrigued by the news that Will Arnett would be providing the voice of KITT in NBC's new Knight Rider backdoor pilot, and heartbroken while watching the last filmed episode of Pushing Daisies.

TiFaux: Dan was thrust into an identity crisis after coming to terms with his crush on the gal who plays Nick George’s wife on Dirty Sexy Money. We also discussed the new Gap ads featuring some of our favorite people: John Krasinksi, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. Maggie abandoned the television for one night and went to the theat-uh – to see Aaron Sorkin’s new play The Farnsworth Invention (which is based on the invention of the television).

Tube Talk: offered a sneak peek at the new Knight Rider and unveiled photos of the new KITT. Jennifer interviewed Moonlight’s Jason Dohring, and he dished about upcoming episodes. Tube Talk Girl continued her insane obsession with ‘90s TV stars, as she posted a vintage Doritos commercial with some familiar faces and pondered the fact that Scott Baio is no longer 45 and single.

The TV Addict: With the holidays fast approaching, we offered up some early Christmas gifts for TV Addict's everywhere. An interview with Moonlight star Jason Dohring, some Supernatural spoilers a first look at the new Knight Rider and a partridge in a pear tree.

TV Filter: Kate wished Bonanza City had been a little more Lord of the Flies after all and decided that 30 Rock is the new The Office. Raoul talked to Azria and Hendekea from The Amazing Race.

TV With MeeVee: We talked to the new "Knight Rider" driver and pit crew. We talked "American Idol" with producer Nigel Lythgoe. And we liveblogged the "Project Runway" finale.


How I Met Your Mother: You know that annoying dude at the party that tells a joke and when someone knew joins the group tells the joke again as if he doesn’t realize that 90% of the people just heard the joke which can happen up to five times over the course of the night? That’s how I felt about this episode with all the “That’s what I said” and the like. Man, I really miss The Big Bang Theory. Check out the latest episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.


Everybody Hates Chris: Holy Phylicia Rashād sighting! But the bigger story was that Chris Rock just completely destroyed Kwanzaa. Like your token white dude who respected the holiday without actually bothering to find out what is all about was surpised to learn the thing was a complete sham thought up by some dude who would go on to commit a felonious assault. How is this considered a legitimate holiday by people?




Journeyman: The show is really at its worst when Dan messes with his own past. It doesn’t make sense that his brother knew that their father came home the night he left and Dan didn’t. And wouldn’t event like that (much like when Dan visited his attacker a couple weeks ago) had more effect on present day that we would have to believe. It seems like whenever he changes something it just changes memories, nothing else. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com. You can also download Journeyman on iTunes.


Pushing Daisies: Maybe my least favorite episode despite the two big m(p)aternity twists. It may stem from the fact that Pee Wee is just too creepy. The show does a great job make the macabre seem whimsical and Pee Wee just seems out of place. With that said they really need to introduce Emerson’s daughter sooner than later. As for the other, I’ve been wondering for a while where Chuck’s mother was during all of this and I just got to wonder how they are going to spin this as to why she thought her mother was actually her aunt. Check out the latest episodes over at ABC.com.


Survivor: Well after a decent season, it looks like it is going to end on a boring note. If only Pee Gee had gotten immunity. I guess we are going to get a Todd vs. Courtney finale. Yawn. Check out the latest episode over at Innertube.




Smallville: Well that was a pretty shocking twist with Julian turning out to be a clone (maybe). I always thought it was weird that they bring him up know after he supposable died a couple seasons back and the whole cloning definitely explains that. As for the other big shock, yeah having Bizzaro Superman apparently still around was shocking, but why exactly would he care enough to save Chloe?


Best Year Ever: After watching this special I have come to the realization that when VH1 unveils the inevitable I Love the ’00 that they will only have nine hours of programming because there was really wasn’t enough about 2007 to love that can fill an hour unless they just do an hour of the best Chris Hansen ambushes (which was the only entertaining part about Best Year Ever this year). Otherwise we will be stuck with Hal Sparks and Michael Ian Black making semi-ironic jokes about Britney Spears, Cavemen, Ringtone Rappers, Don Imus, Big Head Barry and the Monsters, Sanjaya, a second Fantastic Four flick, and our government not knowing what does and doesn’t constitute torture even though anyone with internet access can read the Geneva Convention online. Seriously, they should just rename that hour, I Hate ‘07.


Next Week’s Pick: Journeyman, 10:00 on Monday and Wednesday on NBC: What looks to be the last two hours of the show is basically the only thing on next week. I mean you don’t expect me to watch Clash of the Choirs with music “superstars” Nick Lachey and Michael Bolton or The Duel?

Lyrics Quiz: Best of 2007

This month’s lyrics quiz has been culled from some of my favorite lines uttered this year and even expanded to thirty songs this month so I didn’t have to scale it down any. This doesn’t though reflect my upcoming Best Songs of 2007 that will arrive just after Christmas because I really hate publications that do their year in review in late November or early December thus missing an entire month of the year. For my full list of upcoming festivities, click on the Holiday Schedule on my sidebar. As for the lyrics quiz, leave your guesses in the comment section or e-mail me, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. Just a little hint, the lyrics are in chronological order from when they were released so for the first couple think January while the last couple will be more recent songs. And though I disapprove of using search engines to find the answers, I don’t mind if you look around my archives as some of the lyrics have been mentioned on the 9th Green before typically in album review (click on the Terror Alert Scale link in my sidebar for those). Now on to the lyrics:

Hints
1. The very first album I reviewed this year from a band that didn't change my life as advertised.
4. Did this artist really need to break out the black and white for this video? I didn't think so.
5. This video (for a song that actually appear on the artists biggest one week sales for an album this year) featured the artist's old unkle, or so the subtitles would have you believe.
8. This song was intilly supposed to feature Chris Martin but that version was pulled from the albums weeks before its release.
9. This song was released right around the time the band released a song from the Spiderman 3 Soundtrack.
11. As I pointed out in the comment section, this year featured two videos with creepy clowns in them, this band had one (but not for this song).
13. You may remember me mentioning how this singer requested me to be her friend on MySpace.
19. Song from the dude who produced the song at 14 and sung by the artist at number 14.
23. One of the few raps from a band that had plenty on their previous albums.
24. Yet another song featuring the artist at 14. The video was so brilliant I even busted out the rare two day post to feature it.
26. Yeah Nelly recorded this song a couple years back, but it was done again, to much better results, this year.
27. I featured two of this artist's video during the same segment but didn't mention the bad perm in one of them because of her age (and still won't).
29. Two years ago this artist released three albums, the last two years only one (well, and an EP).
30. Here is the other creepy clown video.


1. We wander through her mama’s house, and the milk from the window lights,
Family portrait circa ninety-five. This is that foreign land with the sprayed on tans.
2. Just a classic case, a s-scenario. Tale as old as time, girl you got what you deserved. (What Goes Around.../...Comes Around - Justin Timberlake; guessed by Monique)
3. There’s nothing you can teach me that I can’t learn from Mr. Hathaway. (Rehab - Amy Winehouse; guessed by Dara)
4. But that would be like pouring rain drops back into a cloud.
5. I don’t need no hands on no Lindsay Lohan, on the same program as Britney, you wit me?
6. I only think in the form of crunching numbers. (Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy; guessed by Dara)
7. It’s always have and never hold. You’ve begun to feel like home. (Look After You - The Fray; guessed by Dara)
8. Dogs were whistling a new tune, barking at the new moon hoping it would come soon so that they could die.
9. Under your skin feels like home. Electric shots on aching bones.
10. She’s like "so whatever." And you could do so much better. (Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne; guessed by Monique)
11. We can’t take our eyes of their t-shirt and ties combination. Well see you later innovator.
12. And I’d wish on every star in the Southern sky for that man and our life if I did not think that. (Tennessee - The Wreckers; guessed by Dara)
13. I was a starling, nobody’s darling. Lying in perfect circles just for company.14. There were people from the city having lunch in the park. I believe that’s called alfresco. (LDN - Lily Allen; guessed by Dara)
15. Give me something to believe in ‘cause I don't believe in you anymore. (Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5; guessed by Dara)
16. You’re part of my entity. Here for infinity. (Umbrella - Rihanna; guessed by Dara)
17. Get washed-up singers writing all my songs, lip synch ‘em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong. (Rockstar - Nickelback; guessed by Dara)
18. Give me that Sunday School answer. (Never Again - Kelly Clarkson; guessed by Monique)
19. You work in a shirt with a nametag on it. Drifting away like a plate tectonic.
20. Will you count me in? (Bubbly - Colbie Caillat; guessed by Dara)
21. Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? (Dreaming with a Broken Heart - John Mayer; guessed by Dara)
22. I want a thousand guitars. I want pounding drums. I want a millions different voices speaking in tongues. (Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen; guessed by Monique)
23. Yeah here we go for the hundredth time. Hand grenade pins in every line. Throw ‘em up and let something shine.
24. She was the type to watch Oprah and the Today Show. Be on the treadmill, uh, like OK-Go.
25. Thinks all men are addicted to porn. (Her Eyes - Pat Monahan; guessed by Dara)
26. I’m just kiddin’ like Jason… Unless you gonna do it.
27. Sneakin’ out late, tapping on your window when we’re on the phone and you talk real slow ‘cause it’s late and your mama don’t know.
28. I still hear the children playing. Dead beat dancers come to us and stay. (Tranquilize - The Killers featuring Lou Reed; guessed by Dara)
29. You come for me in the worst of places. You come for me; you come and try to take me home. I’m always in need and it’s hard to be reciprocating. The fabric of our life gets torn.
30. I’d buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.

Previewing Snowglobe

There is no easier movie to write than a Christmas movie. All you have to do is write something uplifting, some cheesy fun, or preferably a combination of both and no matter the quality of the film, audiences will eat it up because it is easy to please people in the Christmas season. ABC Family’s latest made for TV movie Snowglobe definitely follows in the cheesy fun category.

Living in Brooklyn, Christina Milian (Man of the House), whom I like to refer to as moderately attractive, is your typical girl who is into Christmas a little too much despite being in a concrete jungle without any of the white stuff on the ground. Her Christmas cheer does get dampened by her mother, Lorraine Bracco (The Sopranos) who owns the building she lives in and keeps on renting out the apartment down the hall to eligible bachelors that Milian isn’t too keen on. And before you wonder how they can get us to believe the Cuban Milian came from the Italian Bracco, her father is played by black dude Ron Canada (I cannot confirm or deny any relation to Ron Mexico).

Just before Christmas, Milian receives a mysterious package with a snow globe inside and like every mysterious package, this one has magical powers. In this case, whenever Milian lys down to sleep she is transported inside the snow globe to a perfect Christmas setting that is like a snowier, even less complex version of Pleasantville. And pretty soon has to decide between perfect snow globe guy Matt Keeslar (Psycho Beach Party) and the latest tenant Josh Cooke (Committed) as well as deal with the change her presence made inside the snow globe (granted it doesn’t get as deep as Pleasantville, but again it is only a snow globe not a whole town).

Snowgobe premieres Saturday, December 15 at 8:00 and repeats at 10:00. You can catch an encore presentations Tuesday, December 18 at 8:00 and Saturday December 22 at 1:00.

Musings From the Back 9 vol. XIII

- Yesterday after writing about the Hall and Oates Christmas album, I thought I’d hunt down the Jingle Bell Rock video to see if it was cheesy as I remember (it was, click the link to see for yourself) but on the sidebar I noticed another video that caught my eye: Do They Know its Christmas - Band Aid 20. How did this get released in 2004 and I’m just finding it now? And the video is disturbing on so many levels. There is the cringeworth guitar solo from the dude from The Darkness, who has already fallen into obscurity. The weird Thom York sighting. I think I could name more people in the orginal than this one. And most importantly, how could Bono ruin the most iconic line ever, one that he created? But this begs the question, where’s an updated version of USA for Africa? Can we start on that right away so we can have something ready for the twenty-fifth anniversary in 2010?



- The Mitchell Report came out today (click on it view it in its entirety in a PDF file) and conspicuously ran against the Democratic Iowa debate which was announced much earlier than the report. Someone apparently didn’t want the new coverage to be as big with the news channels carrying the debate instead. The report itself was pretty anticlimactic because the names came from two people and previous court cases and nothing will come out of it because Mitchell himself said none of the players should be punished. They should be punished in that none should be allowed in the Baseball Hall of Fame and sports writer who votes for any of them should be fired by their newspaper or magazine. And what is really odd, and somewhat telling, was that Miguel Tejada, who was on the list, goy traded just yesterday as well as Eric Gangé got $10 Million from the Brewers a couple days ago which goes to show how much owners and general managers cared about the report knowing there was going to be a good chance both would be on it.

- Also announced today were next year’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and disturbingly Madonna got in on her first try and no Beastie Boys. Also making the list are John Mellencamp, Leonard Cohen, The Ventures, and the Dave Clark Five. I’ll have more on them when the ceremony goes down I think in March.

- With no end in sight to the writer’s strike, there will be very little scripted shows at the start of next year, but one of them will be Kyle XY and I have a press release for its return. Also I may be getting my hands on another Kyle XY prize package, though the contest most likely will not start until sometime in the New Year. But that is something to look out for in 2008. Here’s the press release:

THE TRUTH IS REVEALED!

THE MYSTERY CONTINUES ON ABC FAMILY’S
HIT ORIGINAL SERIES ‘KYLE XY’ WITH TEN ALL NEW EPISODES BEGINNING JANUARY 14TH

Kyle looks towards the future while the Tragers finally learn his secrets in the first of ten all new episodes of ABC Family’s original hit series KYLE XY set to premiere on Monday, January 14 (8:00 – 9:00 PM ET/PT). Matt Dallas (“Wannabe”), Marguerite MacIntyre (“The Days”), Bruce Thomas (“Legally Blonde”), April Matson (“Quintuplets”), Jean-Luc Bilodeau (“Ill Fated”), Chris Olivero (“24”), Kirsten Prout (“Elektra”) and new comer Jaimie Alexander (“Rest Stop”) all star in the hit drama.

After his journey with Jessi ends, Kyle returns home and is ready to tell the Trager family the whole truth. With every sordid detail out on the table he wonders if they will be so willing to take him back. Once they hear everything the Tragers only support him more and rally around Kyle to take on Madacorp. With a plan in hand, the family heads to the company picnic to help Kyle take down the corporation’s secret machine.

Meanwhile, torn between her instructions from Madacorp and growing affection for Kyle, Jessi was last seen leaping from a cliff into a raging river…but was it a fatal leap? And if she lived, will she help Kyle, or is she more dangerous than ever?


- Another interesting e-mail I got recently was from an anonymous source about a scene from the upcoming Judd Apatow flick Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story that was recently leaked to the internet, but not in its entirety. Well here is that full scene. Check it out while you can before the powers that be remove it (and if it doesn’t get removed I guess we know who “leaked” it in the first place)



- Just in time for Christmas, the price for Veronica Mars 3.x dropped below $30 and I’m sure you can find someone who would enjoy finding that underneath their Christmas tree in two weeks (i.e. me) and the first two seasons are still dirt cheap (see below for ads):

A Very Hall and Oates Christmas

First off let me state that if you do not like Hall and Oates, we just cannot be friends. Yeah time hasn’t been too kind to the duo thank in part to their seventies album covers suggesting that they were the original ambiguously gay duo, Daryl Hall’s Beavis hair cut, and at the dawn of MTV they could possible made the cheesiest of all the cheesy videos at the time. Their bad marketing aside, they made the best blue eyed soul ever and I dare to too look at the Essential Hall and Oates and not go, “Those are some really great song.”

Even though one of those easily videos was the Christmas song Jiggle Bell Rock (remember when MTV actually showed holiday videos leading up to Christmas instead of honoring the birth of Jesus with a 96 hours The Hills marathon?) Hall and Oates hadn’t released a full Christmas album until now with Home for Christmas. And of course judging Christmas albums comes down to song selection and keeping the new songs to a minimum.

The album is full of old traditional songs that even your grandparents were singing around this time in their youths like The First Noel, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear and O Holy Night but do manage to put a Philly soul to them. A reworked version of Jingle Bell Rock and the Mel Tormé classic The Christmas Song are the closest to new songs on the album aside from the two written by the duo.

John Oates penned the heavy handed No Child Should Ever Cry on Christmas but is not as depressing as the title would suggest. Daryl Hall on the other flexed his vocal chops on the song he wrote, Home for Christmas which is the better of the two. Unfortunately the album also includes one of my least favorite holiday songs Children, Go Where I Send Thee that always brings up bad high school memories, but luckily the two didn’t go with the twenty minute version that I have come to know and loathe instead going with a more tolerable four minute version.

It should also be noted that a portion of the proceeds from Home for Christmas go to Toys for Tots.

Feed Your iPod vol. XI: Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing to F’ Wit

I planned on reviewing the new Wu-Tang Clan album today but unfortunately I haven’t yet hunted down a copy of 8 Diagrams yet, so instead I thought I’d wax poetic about my favorite Wu song, the appropriately titled Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing to F’ Wit. Since my formative years were during the nineties, Wu-Clan was a requirement for any suburbanite. In a time when rap was getting more and more polished, the Clan was still as gritty as the slums of Shaolin where they called home and none were grittier than this song.

The song featuring one of my favorite pop culture references of all time, “I’m causing more family feuds than Richard Dawson.” And the song has been a mainstay on my workout playlist for years. The song was most recently hilariously used on Chappelle’s Show for Wu-Tang Financial with the RZA hyping up bonds and stuff and old people chanting the chorus (which is sadly missing from YouTube). Certainly a must have for any hip-hop fan, although if your are not a fan of the genre or expletives in general you may not want to download the song or even watch the video below.

Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuthing to F’ Wit - Wu-Tang Clan