Quote of the Week: For the last time, I am not Linda Knievel. I will never be Linda Knievel. (Lily – How I Met Your Mother)
Song of the Week: Captain Jack – Billy Joel (as sung by Will Ferrell; Saturday Night Live)
Big News of the Week: Upfronts: For thoughts on Upfronts and what I will be watching come fall, check out Scooter’s Fall Television Schedule.
Coalition Links of the Week: Season finales? What season finales? Buzz turned her attention to the months ahead and asked which summer TV show has you most excited. (BuzzSugar)
Vance had quite the reaction when Kris Allen won American Idol. (Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace reported on all of the goings-on at the 2009 network upfronts and offered up extremely advance reviews on the full pilots of such new series as ABC's V, Happy Town, and Modern Family, and NBC's Community. (Televisionary)
Scrubs may be back next season, but Jennifer said her goodbyes now. (Tube Talk)
After reading a few Melrose Place spoilers, Matt cannot wait for the reincarnation of this classic series. (TV Fanatic)
Greek: All the searching for the secret society stuff was pretty funny, especially when they heard Rusty and Dale talking, but I’m and not sure about the sceret bonding between Cappie and Evan. And doesn’t the Dean hate them and tried to get the Greek system thrown off campus? If so why invite to Greek presidents to join you society? You can stream current episodes over at ABCFamily.com. You can also download Greek on iTunes.
How I Met Your Mother: So the mother will turn out to be one of Ted’s students? Eww. I really hope the writers come up with something creative that makes that not true because once we meet her, I will be creeped out for the rest of the series, even more than the thought of Future Ted telling his kids about all his sexscapades. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.
Charm School with Ricki Lake: Wow, it is disturbing how the Real/Chance girls are so oblivious to how they are the epitome of the Mean Girls. Hopefully they get that when they rewatch the episode. You can also download I Love Money on iTunes.
Rescue Me: Proably the funniest episode of the season. All the stuff with Katie Katherine had me on the floor and the preceding road trip and dinner as well as Garrity’s, um, problems. Then there were the out of left field scenes with Tommy’s sister and uncle at the VA hospital. Although the ending was a little weird. Is Katie running away? You can stream current episodes over at Hulu.
Free Download of the Week: Delicious Vinyl Sampler (Amazon MP3): Delicious Vinyl was only second to Def Jam in terms of great hip-hop records from the eighties, and on this sampler you Young MC’s Bust a Move, a Tone Loc remix, songs from The Pharcyde and member Fatlip and more.
Video of the Week: Tuesday sees the season finale of My Boys featuring former Cubs player Mike Fontenot. Check out a clip below:
Next Week Pick of the Week: The Goode Family, Wednesday at 9:00 on ABC: Ironically just as Mike Judge’s redneck comedy King of the Hill ended its run just as George Bush left office, his show about tree hugging hippies debuts just as the age of Obama starts out.
All the news this week went to the major networks, but Tuner Entertainment Networks (TNT, TBS, TruTV) also held their upfronts earlier this week. Thier big news was that TBS was interested in picking up My Name Is Earl, a show they already syndicate. With their summer schedule set for a while (I will be talking more about those shows closer to their premieres), most of the shows in their pipeline won’t hit the air until 2010 at the earliest aside from the already announced Men of a Certain Age staring Ray Romano and Scott Bacula set to debut in December 2009 and Neighbors From Hell, an animated series coming in 2010. Here are the other programming and development plans in the works for the networks:
TNT
Scripted dramas
UNTITLED ALIEN INVASION PROJECT – Six months after a worldwide alien invasion, a group of everyday heroes must rise up to fight for their survival – all while maintaining their humanity in the process. This project has been ordered to pilot and comes to TNT from DreamWorks Television and filmmaker Steven Spielberg, who will serve as executive producer along with DreamWorks Television heads Justin Falvey and Darryl Frank and screenwriter Robert Rodat. Rodat, who earned an Oscar® nomination for his screenplay for Saving Private Ryan, is writing the script for the pilot from an idea he co-conceived with Spielberg.
CLASS ACTION (working title) – Steven Bochco, the mastermind behind many dramas, including TNT’s Raising the Bar, joins with Stephen Godchaux (Spin City) for this project, which follows a down-on-his-luck attorney as he fights for the disenfranchised.
ZAPATA, TEXAS (working title) – The husband-and-wife team of Kyra Sedgwick (TNT’s The Closer) and Kevin Bacon co-conceived and will executive-produce this project, which is the story of a small Texas border town and its newly elected sheriff, “favorite son” Zeke. ZAPATA, TEXAS will follow Zeke as he navigates the equally treacherous waters of small-town politics and the volatile world of the U.S./Mexico border. Bacon is attached to direct the pilot.
UNTITLED MATT WILLIAMS FAMILY DRAMA – Matt Williams, creator of Roseanne and co-creator of Home Improvement, takes a personal, passionate and ultimately heroic look at a loving, middle-American family that is keeping it together at a time when everything is trying to pull them apart.
UNTITLED DANIEL PYNE NOIR DRAMA – Daniel Pyne’s many credits as a writer include The Manchurian Candidate (2004), Any Given Sunday and Pacific Heights. This project from Warner Horizon Television is set in 1954 Los Angeles, where a private detective tries to do the right thing as the ever-changing world makes it more difficult.
PASTOR JAZZ – This drama focuses on a minister, his music and his passion for people’s hearts and souls, from the neediest to the wealthiest. Charles S. Dutton (The Express, Roc) is Pastor Jazz in this project, which is from Warner Horizon Television, Dutton, Mitchell Burgess (The Sopranos, Northern Exposure) and Robin Green (The Sopranos, Northern Exposure).
MACALISTER – Henry Shepard is a washed-up-novelist-turned-professor who tries to inspire the boys of The Macalister School. F.J. Pratt (Less Than Perfect) and Dan Cohen (Less Than Perfect) look into the minds and mischief of students at an all-boys school in upstate New York, showing how one man can have an impact on children of wealth and privilege.
PROOF – Dr. Geoffrey Pierce is an eccentric neuroscientist who uses his unique outlook to help the federal government solve complex cases. With an intimate knowledge of human behavior and a masterful understanding of the mind, this quirky, crime-solving doctor pulls lessons from an odd and imaginative view of the world. This project comes from ABC Studios, Kenneth Biller (Legend of the Seeker, Star Trek: Voyager) and Mike Sussman (Star Trek: Voyager)
unscripted dramas:
THE MAYO CLINIC – When someone is ill and has been told nothing more can be done, there is one place to go – the renowned Mayo Clinic, where hope springs eternal. This project will chronicle the lives of Mayo doctors and their patients. Bill Guttentag (Nanking) and David Kanter (Rendition) are executive producers.
TRIP OF A LIFETIME – Everyone has a dream or a wish unfulfilled. TRIP OF A LIFETIME will bring together extended, disconnected and deserving families. It could revolve around a lost family member, an unknown child, a missing brother or simply a returned keepsake. The project will be executive-produced by acclaimed author and travel expert Peter Greenberg and Rich Heller (Dallas: War of the Ewings)
TBS
THE GAME OF LIFE – This half-hour sitcom follows four Pittsburgh friends as they reunite in their early 30s, only to discover life didn’t turn out quite as planned. THE GAME OF LIFE comes to TBS from Sony Pictures Television, executive-produced by Kevin James (The King of Queens, Paul Blart: Mall Cop), Rock Reuben (The King of Queens) and Jeff Sussman (The King of Queens, Paul Blart: Mall Cop).
BIG TOW – This animated project from Sony Pictures Television, Tantamount and executive producer Clay Graham (The Drew Carey Show) will follow the life of J.D. Biggs, a small-town Tennessee single dad and local hero who runs a towing company.
WEE HOURS – From Second City TV and executive producer Lowell Mate, this slice-of-life sketch comedy employs the talents of the legendary Second City comedy troupe to tell stories of Chicagoans during the wee hours of midnight to 6 a.m.
TruTV
NFL FULL CONTACT (working title) – truTV and NFL Films will provide unprecedented, exclusive access to what really goes on behind the scenes in professional football, from draft day to the Super Bowl.
CONSPIRACY THEORY WITH JESSE VENTURA – He’s undertaken some of the most dangerous missions in the world as a Navy SEAL. He’s body-slammed giants in the wrestling ring as a WWE superstar. He’s even conquered politics as the governor of Minnesota. Now, Jesse Ventura is about to face his greatest challenge yet: uncovering the most compelling, modern-day conspiracy theories. CONSPIRACY THEORY is produced by A. Smith & Co. Productions (Hell’s Kitchen, I Survived a Japanese Game Show, Kitchen Nightmares).
U.S. SPECIAL OPS: DECLASSIFIED (working title) – From producer Tom DeSanto (X-Men, Transformers) and 44 Blue Productions comes a thrilling new series that unlocks the case files of America’s elite terrorist hunters. Through a mix of cutting-edge computer animation, action-packed recreations and hair-raising interviews with actual agents, this series will recount the shocking, formerly top-secret details of the people who keep us safe while we sleep.
FULL THROTTLE – This four-part series, produced by A. Smith & Co. Productions, will provide an inside look at the world’s largest biker bar. Mike Ballard, beautiful bartenders and a full cast of characters race against the clock to serve huge crowds at Ballard’s Full Throttle Saloon in Sturgis, S.D., during the town’s famed, nine-day motorcycle rally. More than 300,000 people visit the Full Throttle Saloon during the annual event, where Ballard and his team feel the pressure to make a year’s salary in a short time window, all while providing patrons an experience they will not forget. The series marks the first time cameras have been allowed to capture every minute.
There seemed to be less drama surrounding the Upfronts this year because it seemed like everything was leaked to be canceled or renewed sometime last week or before. But those last minute decisions have proved to be entertaining. CBS called NBC dumping Medium “inexplicable” which made NBC point out that Medium had smaller ratings than two shows (Without a Trace and The Unit) they canceled which CBS retorted that Medium had better ratings than five it renewed (Chuck, Law and Order, Southland, 30 Rock, and Parks and Recreations). Hilarious.
But line of the week goes to My Name Is Earl creator Greg Garcia who responded when asked about not making it on the NBC lineup; “It’s hard to be too upset about being thrown off the Titanic.” Classic. But it may be a soft landing for Earl as it may be picked up by Fox. Note to Fox: I have not watched anything on your channel since the series finale of Arrested Development; if you pick up My Name Is Earl, I will take you off the parental block on my television.
Garcia isn’t the only one to be burning bridges as Jimmy Kimmel brought his gas can to the Upfronts. The big difference is Kimmel is still standing on his bridge. To the ABC advertisers, Kimmel said, “You don’t need an upfront, you need therapy.” Did someone forget to tell Kimmel these are the people that pay his salary? He then went on to say of the new shows, “We’re going to cancel about 90% of them,” he said. “Everyone is full of (expletive deleted).” I am assuming Kimmel saw the V reboot preview clips that are laughably bad or Flash Forward which looks as good as V but without the unintentional comedy. And the current ABC line-up didn’t go unscaved when Kimmel offered, “Next year on Grey’s Anatomy, your product could kill Dr. Izzie. It just depends on how much you want to pay.”
In other network news, apparently The CW still exists (albeit down to nine hours of programming a week). Who knew? But anyways. Here is what I will be (tentatively) be watching this fall.
Mondays 8:00 – How I Met Your Mother (CBS) 8:30 – Accidentally on Purpose (CBS) 9:00 – Trauma (NBC) 9:30 – The Big Bang Theory (CBS) 10:00 Castle (ABC)
Oh, CBS, why do you smite me? The TBBT/HIMYM was a nice combination, I know you totally ruining that by putting a crappy new show and the unwatchable Two and a Half Men in-between. I sure TBBT will get an extra 3-4 million viewers at 9:30 than 8:00, but shouldn’t CBS care more that they are inconveniencing me? I guess I will give Accidentally on Purpose a chance to bridge HIMYM and Trauma but I have a feeling that I will end up just flipping to whatever crappy show on VH1 during that half hour instead. At least when Chuck returns after the Olympics, I can watch that at 8:00, HIMYM on tape delay at 9:00 then TBBT at 9:30. And much like last season, I will most likely be watching Castle via the internet. The first season was moderately enjoyable and the cliff hanger should make things interesting.
Tuesdays The day continues to the least interesting day on the TV schedule. I blame karaokers, has been’s and never were’s. And seriously, Jay Leno chews up five hours a week and NBC still devotes two hour blocks to The Biggest Loser and Donald Trump? Wouldn’t they get better rating if they were one hour and just a longer season?
Wednesdays 8:00 – Parenthood (NBC) 8:30 – Gary Unmarried (CBS) 9:00 – Modern Family (ABC)
Modern Family sounds like just a replacement for According to Jim except gayer. But it does star Al Bundy (who I assume isn’t part of the gay couple), Carol Vessey, and the token hot chick from Let’s Rob Mick Jagger (who I wouldn’t mind if were part of the gay couple), so hopefully it will be at least watchable.
Thursday 8:00 – Survivor (CBS)
Remember Thursdays were the biggest logjam of the week? Not so much for me anymore. I may turn into Weekend Update during the Survivor commercials, but how entertaining can that be in a non-election year?
Friday, Saturday, Sunday I got nothing. At least until NBC comes to its senses and gives an ax to Southland and puts Friday Night Lights in its place.
Midseason Chuck (NBC; Mondays at 8:00) Lost (ABC) I may also give Day One (NBC, Mondays at 9:00) and Mercy (Wednesdays at 8:00) a chance but will be on a short leash or reserved for Hulu.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Can’t say I was too fond of the last album from Pete Yorn after his solid first two albums. Here is hoping that Back and Forth (due June 23) gets Yorn back on track. If your are interested in downloading Don’t Wanna Cry for free, head over to Spinner.com.
If I were to make a list of the best songs of the first half of the year, Kings of Leon would be in the discussion. And I would highly recommend hunting down the mash up of Use Somebody with Same Old Song by the Four Tops.
311 predated the horrible rap/metal fad of the late nineties and have seemed to outlast it and still is putting out decent music. Plus this video is great, seriously, sign-wielding ninjas! Learning that the sign twirling was CGI would be like learning that Manny Ramirez was trying to get pregnant.
Thanks to the ineptitude of the music industry, Eminem may be the last superstar it ever creates. After the teaser of My Name Is, Slim Shady exploded into the stratosphere of stardom with The Marshall Mathers LP with a mix of catchy disposable rap for the TRL set and more credible flows for the hip hop head. And during a time when ever rap album had over fifty percent of the songs having the word “featuring” attached to it, Eminem managed to fill full album with nary a partner except for a rare verse from his buddies 50 Cent and some beats provided by mentor Dr. Dre.
But it has been five years since Eminem has released a new album and in the rap genre, the years away can be counted like dog years. The Shady persona made it usually first appearance with the first single We Made You where Em does his usual run down of celebrities but raging on Sarah Palin, Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan all seemed a couple months too late and even featured one of the weakest Dre beat to date. He even goes even more outdates bringing up with failed relationship with Mariah Carey on Bagpipes from Bagdad. But that does feature the best line when Em chants chucking corn much like the famous refrain about Chaka Khan.
The rest of the songs on Relapse can be put into different themes: murder and drugs. And for over seventy-five minutes and fifteen songs he goes over those topics over and over again. The former goes into gruesome detail playing out a special on Court TV to the point it is reminiscent of the horrorcore genre that failed to gain any acceptance, critical or commercial, during the mid-nineties. And most of the songs are just shocking for the sake of shock value and have no depth like say Stan.
Even more nonsensical is Eminem’s flow as most of the songs features the same nasal cadence that is featured on the first two singles We Made You and 3 A.M. Also Relapse seems Em tread the same subjects again and again with Lindsay Lohan, Hanna Montana, Kim Kardashian, Heath Ledger, and Christopher Reeves getting multiple references throughout the album. The last even Em knows he has gone to for even mentioning so later in the album blaming Reeves for having a last name that is too easy to rhyme. But on the bright side Relapse is Auto-Tune free.
The one thing that saves the album from being unlistenable is Dr. Dre’s beats which are as crisp as ever (sans the one for We Made You). Most of the songs have the trademark Dre bass attack while Bagpipes from Bagdad gets a Middle Eastern flavor. The best though is saved for last with the menacing strings of Underground. Hopefully this is a precursor for Detox whenever that actually comes out which is a running joke on the album with Eminem originally says 2010 but later postpones it to 2020.
For better or worse, Survivor: Tocantins belonged to Benjamin “Coach” Wade. Not since Johnny Fairplay has a contestant this annoying had last this long, two tribal councils away from landing in the finals. So every episode this season we got a heavy dose of words of wisdoms and honor that proved to be hypocritical like how he wanted to compete against the strongest but was quick to vote out Brandon right after the merge or how he played the game truthfully but lied straight face about trying to realign with Sierra after his Warrior Alliance failed.
Coach selling out Brandon (who in turned tried to blindside Coach at the same tribal council) set up the most improbably power triad in Survivor history in Stephen Fishbach, James “J.T.” Thomas, and Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (SWV member and wife of Eddie) who went into the merge outnumbered by six to three (after Joe Dowdle had to drop up due to medical reasons) and preceded to orchestrate five straight Timbira eliminations to land themselves into the final four. Keep in mind I am not one of those instant historian that likes to throw hyperboles around, but that was the biggest upset in Survivor history. They became so confident they didn’t even bother to play their hidden immunity idol.
Then came the biggest shock in a jury full of blindsides in that J.T. and Stephen turned on Taj to keep around Erinn Lobdell (who is one of the rare chick who looked better after a shower then a month without one for some reason) which was one of many questionable moves the duo made this season. But in the end, they were the last two standing, so what do I know? Well I did know that J.T. would win as I predicted as such during my First Impressions of Survivor: Tocantins. So there’s that.
Next up is Survivor: Samoa, which from a visual standpoint should be good because the South Pacific tend to be the most beautiful destinations. And if I could make one suggestion: it is time for Jeff Probst to stop asking if the immunity winner wants to give it away because, to the best of my knowledge, it has only happened once and that was in the bizarre All-Star season. Even the most secure immunity holders have passed it on so stop wasting time in asking and do away with it.
The Big Bang Theory: A solid end to thje season and hopefully the season premiere gives us some more time up in the arctic with the boys because there is certainly a lot a laughs being in tight quarters with Sheldon for a long period of time. But I am not sure I am on board for another Penny / Leonard coupling. You can stream clips over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Greek: So Evan actually has a heart. They have been writing him as the biggest tool in the world for the last season or so it is nice to see him more complex like in the first season. And the Cappa Tau reverse scavenger hunt was pretty funny. You can stream current episodes over at ABCFamily.com. You can also download Greek on iTunes.
How I Met Your Mother: So two weeks ago Future Ted makes a big deal about changing him normal routine that led to meeting the mother, only to bump into Stella whom we know is not the mother. Then this week that chance encounter only leads to learning that Stella is going to California. Hurumph. For the season finale we better learn how bumping into Stella led to meeting the mother or I will be thoroughly disappointed. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.
Rescue Me:It is really hard not to laugh at all of Shawn’s cancer stuff yet I always seemed to let some out every time. Although does he really plan to skim some money here and there to get his treatment? Mike is dumb, but he isn’t that dumb. You can stream current episodes over at Hulu.
Survivor: Finally after about six weeks after his tipping point, Coach has been slayed. Of course he goes out with a poem and more hypocrisy with his death before honor. I wouldn’t be against devoting half of the reunion show for Probst calling out Coach on all the lies and stuff he has been caught on. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.
My Name Is Earl: I said it the last time he was on, but I wouldn’t be against Norm McDonald joining the cast. Or at least show up more than once a season (if there is somehow another season). You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Big News of the Week: Scooter McGavin Does not Use Twitter: I have been asked about a couple times, so to clear up any confusions, I do not have a Twitter account. And I would also like to add an additional spaz courtesy of losers making fake Scooter McGavin Twitter accounts: I DON'T HAVE A (expletive deleted) TWITTER... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I'M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I'M NOT AND I'M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN'T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON'T HAVE A (explicative deleted) TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT... THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT'S A (expletive deleted) FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED SCOOTER MCGAVIN TWITTER DOWN NOW .... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!! I hope that clears things up.
Coalition Links of the Week: Buzz got pumped about the upcoming sneak peek of Glee and shared some tidbits she learned from the cast. (BuzzSugar)
Vance celebrated his 2000th post on the blog by remembering some of his favorites over the years, including Everwood, Lost and Friday Night Lights. (Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace was once again consumed with all things Lost, offering his in-depth thoughts and theories about the two-hour season finale (The Incident, Parts One and Two). He feels much better now that he knows what lies in the shadow of the statue. (Televisionary)
Dan watched the premiere of The Fashion Show and found a temporary filler for the Project Runway-sized hole left in his heart. He still misses Tim Gunn, though. (TiFaux)
It's (VERY) early, but Matt is already excited about the second season of Fringe. (TV Fanatic)
Kate was bemused and befuddled when Food Network renewed lying, cheating Robert Levine's show. (TV Filter)
Free Download of the Week: LeftRightLeftRightLeft – Coldplay (Coldplay.com): Here is a nine song live album for those that don’t have the money to actually see Coldplay in person this summer for the low price of free. For those that are interested in a physical CD of the album, everyone that buys a ticket to the summer tour will get one at the door of the show.
Video of the Week: The latest The Office webisode features Creed back to blackmailing ways. Check out the video below to see who his latest victim is.
Next Week Pick of the Week: How I Met Your Mother, Monday at 8:30 on CBS: Two weeks ago Ted told an elaborate story about how he changed his regular routine that led to meeting his mother only for him to run into Stella. Last week: no mention of the mother, just Stella moving to the left coast. Will we finally learn why meeting Stella that day led to being introduced to said mother in the season finale? Hopefully it is the goat they have been teasing for awhile.
As we wind down the television season, I am going to run down the best music placement of the past twelve months and as an added twist, I am going to do it in Lyrics Quiz form so you have to guess to see the actual list. As usual, place your guesses in the comment (or e-mail me), both artist and song title, and if you are correct I will un-bold the lyric. You can also get a bonus point is you correctly guess which show the song was featured on and double bonus points if you correctly guess the character how sang the song on the show if it was not performed by the original artist (you can steal the bonus point if and only if someone correctly guesses the lyrics). Now since I don’t watch every show on television and there are plenty of unoriginal shows out there that copy other show’s musical taste, I will only accept quality television shows, and I am the one who decides whether a show is quality. Now onto the quiz:
1. I got a secret I’ve been hiding under my skin. My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain: IBM. (Mr. Roboto - Styx; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 2. There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. (Africa - Toto; guessed by Doug; Bonus: Jeffster of Chuck both guessed by Julie) 3. I know a girl who thinks of ghosts. She’ll make you breakfast, She’ll make you toast. (She Don't Use Jelly - The Flaming Lips; Bonus: Landry of Friday Night Lights; all guessed by Doug) 4. Say my name, sun shines through the rain. Oh life so lonely and then come and ease the pain. (Eternal Flame - The Bangles; guessed by Doug; Bonus: Olive of Pushing Daisies; both guessed by Rebekah) 5. I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day. Take me to the place I love. Take Me all the way. (Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed) 6. Said it before and I'll say it again, while others pretend, I need you now and I'll need you then. (Love Will Keep Us Together - Captain & Tenille; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 7. Moon appears to shine and light the sky with the help of some fireflies. I wonder how they have the power to shine. (Baby I Love Your Way - Peter Frampton; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 8. First time was a great time. Second time was a blast. Third time I fell in love, now I hope it lasts. (You've Got It (The Right Stuff) - New Kids on the Block; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed) 9. What I want you got it might be hard to handle. Like the flame that burns the candle. The candle feeds the flame. (You Make My Dreams - Hall and Oates; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 10. And you may tell yourself this is not my beautiful wife. (Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 11. I’ve acted out my life on stages with ten thousand people watching. But we’re alone now. 12. I used to be a renegade. I used to fool around. But I couldn’t take the punishment and had to settle down. (Hip to Be Square - Huey Lewis and the News; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 13. Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose. Plant any one of those. (MMMBop - Hanson; guessed by Doug; Bonus: Chuck guessed by Julie) 14. All we have to do is to take these lies and make them true somehow. (Freedom '90 - George Michael; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed) 15. We are young, heartache to heartache we stand. No promises, no demands. (Love Is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed) 16. Just barely got out of school, came from the edge of town. Fought like a switchblade so no one could take him down. (18 and Life - Skid Row; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed) 17. I don’t need the king of the world as long as I am the hero of this little girl. (Heaven - Warrant; guessed by oug; Bonus Not Guessed) 18. She's into superstitions black cats and voodoo dolls. (Living la Vida Loca - Ricky Martin; guessed by Curtis; Bonus Not Guessed) 19. I see you my friend and touch your face again. Miracles will happen as we dream. (Crazy - Seal; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 20. I would gladly give up musical genius Just to have you as my very own, personal Venus. (Be My Yoko Ono - Barenaked Ladies; guessed by Curtis; Bonus Not Guessed) 21. You’re the one thing that I can’t get enough of. So I’ll tell you one thing: this could be love. ((I've Had) The Time of My Life - Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 22. “Can you teach me throw?” I said “not today, I got a lot to do.” (Cat's in the Cradle - Harry Chapin; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 23. You lying so low in the weeds. I bet you gonna ambush me. You’d have me down down down down on my knees. (Barracuda - Heart; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 24. My morals got me on my knees, I’m begging please, stop playing games. (Mercy - Duffy; guessed by Angie; Bonus Not Guessed) 25. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. (The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)
Bonus (need performer and song being parodied): Pulling down her pants, yanking off my own. Underneath the mistletoe I’ll make your sister moan. (Jingle Bells - Barney Stinson; guessed by Rebekah)
During its first season, Lost was having one of the best starts of any television shows ever. Then came the season finale that trotted along for three hours as we watch Jack and company hike across the island back and forth so they could get into the hatch only to be left without seeing what was actually down the hatch. From that point on, the show has ebbed and flowed for the next couple season until the fourth season when I just decided to accept the insanity. Which is a good thing considering the fifth season ended up introducing time travel.
I bring up the first season finale because last night’s finale had that same kind of ending but instead of hunting around the island for dynamite to blow up the hatch only not to see what was down there they were trekking across the island to detonate a hydrogen bomb as the same sight almost thirty decades later. And of course we don’t get to see the aftermath (assuming Juliet’s hitting it did set it off).
But unlike the first season there were a few surprises along the way. No, not that Jacob showed up in everyone’s life (more on him later). The big shock for me was what was in the Other Other Other’s carryon (or they are they simply Others considering Richard Alpert knew what lied in the shadow of the statue, which may or may not be him because he was despite answering in some random language). I predicted that it was the hydrogen bomb that Jack was about to set off (in my defense, the writers cheated by having everyone call what was in the box “it” instead of “him”) but instead it turned out to be a man which I did then thought it would turn out to be Jacob’s buddy Richard Hatch yet instead it turned out to John Locke himself.
And apparently Richard Hatch used Locke to find some loophole to kill Jacob whom they seem to be in some kind of conundrum that Charles Whitmore and Benjamin Linus find themselves in where they cannot kill each other. Yet Richard Hatch in John Locke body still has all of Locke’s memory somehow. Alrighty. Not surprisingly Jacob, who at one point lived in the same cabin as Rose, Bernard, and Vincent, visits the Oceanic survivors where he had a hand in the death of Nadia, got Hurley back to the island (and apparently not the only one as he also brought The Black Rock to the island earlier to the dismay of Richard Hatch), and possibly brought Locke back to life. And even though he turned out to be his emissary, Jacob just misses Jack’s dad (or could Jack’s dad could have been Richard Hatch all along manipulating everyone to get to where he was at the end of the season?). Yet no visit for Walt who no one seems to want back on the island despite being so integral in the first two seasons. Oddly enough we also get a Juliet flashback (who I swore was Charlotte until we heard her name) yet no Jacob or really anything.
As for season six, the last for the show, I am currently going with the theory that Miles pointed out (and I originally had when Faraday first suggested nuking the Swan) that what if that turned out to be The Incident was created not by the drilling, but it was the bomb all along that caused The Incident. But the question then would be, what does the explosion mean for Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Sayid, Miles, and Jin? And will Juliet turn into a Desmond-type figure considering she was at the epicenter of and electromagnetic explosion at the Swan? Who are the “They” that Jacob tell Richard Hatch are coming? And the most important question, will Lost have a satisfying ending?
It is a story fit for Behind the Music: band on the edge of self destruction ends up recording their most critically acclaimed album and second biggest selling album, a concept album of all things that some would argue (not me) is the soundtrack for the Bush era. So what do you do for a follow up if you are Green Day and it has been half a decade since you released American Idiot: how about another concept album?
And so we get the three act 21st Century Breakdown that follows the couple Christian and Gloria (as opposed to the singular protagonist of American Idiot, Jesus of Suburbia) through eighteen songs across seventy minute. The first act Heroes and Cons is the angsty portion of the album that opens with the ambitious title track with multiple tempo changes within its five minutes. That is followed by the paranoia driven first single Know Your Enemy which can easily be written off as this album’s American Idiot: a straight ahead rocker with not so thinly veiled potshots at their political foes.
The act does delve into some of the mellowest movements of the band’s career as we are introduced to Gloria in ¡Viva la Gloria! Before that song takes off then goes back down for the acoustic Before the Lobotomy before again revving up halfway through the song. Then comes Christian’s Inferno that sound as menacing as the title would suggest. The act ends with the mellow Last Night on Earth that unlike the previous songs in the act doesn’t get moving.
The second act Charlatans and Saints starts off with East Jesus Nowhere, a pure punk rocker that shouts along for four and a half minutes with machine gun guitar riffs that takes aims at religion that permeates the second act. That rocker continues with Peacemaker but with a south of the border tinge. They go full tilt western to start out ¿Viva la Gloria? (Little Girl) sounding like an old time drinking hole piano player.
The last act Horseshoes and Handgernades (as in the only two things where close counts) also is the name of the first song which may be the closest thing on the album that sounds like nineties Green Day with its snotty lyrics and fast guitars. 21 Guns could be this album’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams with its high highs and low lows that go back and forth during the song. Bucking the trend of the closer of the previous which close with songs that border on Air Supply type adult contemporary, the album ends with a bang worthy of the act title, that tells the ever after of Christian and Gloria.
All in all, if you liked the politics and rock theatrics of American Idiot, 21st Century Breakdown will be right up your alley even if they just seem to be rehashing things five years later. Musically it seems like their detour with the garage rock of the Foxboro Hut Tubs as the genre creeps into many songs on the set. But if you started to get sick of American Idiot and the bands turn into Queen like stadium anthems, just stick with Dookie and pass on the album.
Even though I try to avoid VH1’s … of Love shows (sometime unsuccessfully) the Charm School spin off remains one of the guiltiest guilty pleasures currently on television. This is most likely because I don’t have to see trashy girls having sex with the likes of Flavor Flav and Brett Michaels. For the third season they are actually combining two shows with the rejects of Rock of Love Bus and Real Chance of Love. We also get a new Headmistress in Ricky Lake who may be the most credible of giving charm advice of all the headmistresses. But considering she is following Sharon Osbourne, that isn’t saying much.
There are a couple more changes this season. There is a Dean’s List which keeps some of the girls safe from expulsion every week. And instead of the Headmistress having full control of who to bring down to the carpet then expel, those not on the Dean’s List go to Detention where they vote who goes down to the carpet. An odd change considering it may lead alliances determining who gets on the carpet instead of who deserves it. Even last night the Bus rejects all voted for one girl while the Real Chance also-rans did another. But there was the hilarious part where Gia voted for Ashley, apparently not know what exactly she was voting for through her alcoholic haze.
There also seems to be a theme of charity this season, the first challenge (?) saw the schoolgirls give clothing of their choice to charity. Although I am not sure who would possibly want to wear hand-me-downs from strippers and porn stars no matter how in need they are. Then later in the season some of the girls will be going down the 9th Ward to help rebuild houses. As nice as that seems, should they really have these girls that close to Bourbon Street while in Charm School?
In the end Gia’s drunken stupor got her expelled, even if she improved from her time on Bret Michael’s bus. C’mon, she didn’t have anyone drink from her lady area. That is progress. But her exit from the house looked like a trailer for a horror movie, it was that creepy. And she wasn’t the only one to leave as the equally drunken Beverly got the boot for breaking the number one rule of reality television of never put your hands on another cast member. On her way out she hoped she wouldn’t do anything to embarrass her children. Too late honey.
The Big Bang Theory: I wonder is we are heading for a Leonard/Penny coupling again for the second straight season finale? It certainly looks like it. Then we will probably start up the third season with them decoupling once again. Hurmph. At least Sheldon’s fascination with potty humor was funny. You can stream current clips over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.
Greek: What was with all the girls running away from the bouquet? Like that has ever happened at any wedding. Certainly the garter may be thrown around until a kid who is to young to understand the consequence gets a hold, but not the bouquet. You can stream current episodes over at ABCFamily.com. You can also download Greek on iTunes.
How I Met Your Mother: Stella? Seriously? We have already established that she was not the mother so why jerk us around like that? But I may have to get myself a job at Goliath Bank to get the unlimited poster budget because I would do as many as he would. I love graphs. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.
I Love Money: We are at the finale already? At least we learned once and for all that yes, It is that stupid. You can also download I Love Money on iTunes.
Rescue Me: Leave it to Rescue Me to make Cancer almost funny. Poor Shawn. And if Tommy does let Katie decide if she wants to be in boarding school or like with Janet or him and she choose him, where exactly are they going to say? With Lou? You can stream current episodes over at Hulu.
Lost: Why is it nobody is wondering what exactly what will happen if they actually detonate the hydrogen bomb? Do they think that they will actually magically warp to life in 2007 as if they never crashed on the island without any recollection of actually crashing and not just die in the blast? Then there are Dan’s mom and Richard who have no future to warp to, what do they think with end up happening to them? My theory is that they were always destined to set off the bomb and that is what creates the Swan station. And at least there was the goods comic relief of Dr. Chang quizzing Hurley on current events. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com.
Survivor: Ug, another week, another week without Coach getting voted off. I wish I could say I couldn’t believe that he actually told his buddy that everyone calls him the dragon slayer, but that would be a lie. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.
My Name Is Earl: Yeah, this would have been better as just a one episode because the second part just went off the rails. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com. You can also download My Name Is Earl on iTunes.
Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Dom DeLuise: Some of the funniest movies of my childhood were The Cannonball Run movies and Dom DeLuise was certainly one of the reasons the two movies were so hilarious. And the laughs kept coming with his cameos in Mel Brooks films: Blazing Saddles and History of the World pt. I and his numerous television guest appearances on series and game shows throughout the eighties. They just don’t make comics like Dom DeLuise anymore and that’s a shame.
Coalition Links of the Week:
Inspired by the Bones/Family Guy crossover, Buzz dreamed up some other funny TV crossovers she'd love to see — complete with goofy photoshopping! (BuzzSugar)
The Tony Award nominations are out and while it's about Broadway Theatre, the show is still on TV, so Vance gives his two cents on this years picks.(Tapeworthy)
This week, Jace reviewed the first two episodes of Showtime's sensational new comedy Nurse Jackie, starring Edie Falco, which launches in June. (Televisionary)
Whether it'll stick around remains to be seen, but Marisa wants to have the (almost) final word on Dollhouse. (TiFaux)
This week, the TV Addict offered up his snap judgements on NBC's new fall offerings. (The TV Addict)
Eric was lucky enough to interview Cassidy Freeman just a week before the Smallville season finale. (TV Fanatic)
Free Download of the Week: Free Green Day Song (Rhapsody): All week Rhapsody has been giving away free Green Day songs and as I write this you can get their new single Know Your Enemy (please note that Rhapsody changes randomly, so you better not procrastinate to get it). And if you are a Rhapsody subscriber, you can stream the new album 21st Century Breakdown for free (non-members get 25 free streams per month so you could get two listens in before you run out).
Video of the Week: Certainly we have all seen this story before: overeducated and unemployable. It is doubtful that anything will come close to being as great as Wonderfalls in telling that story, but Post Grad features Matt Saresen saranading Rory Gilmore, so hopefully it will be at the very least watchable.
Next Week Pick of the Week: The Big Bang Theory, Monday at 8:00 on CBS: The funniest show end with what CBS calls “The coolest finale ever!” Of course this is because the foursome will be going on an exposition to the Arctic. But will Leonard really make the trip after it was revealed Penny called out his name in the heat of passion? I may have to brush up on the Schrödinger's cat experiment before I predict that.
Looking ever further into the future, TNT looks to have a big push this summer with seven new and returing shows premiering throughout the season. I am sure I will have more on the shows at a later date. Until then, here are the premiere dates:
Monday, June 8
9:00 - The Closer
10:00 - Raising the Bar
Tuesday, June 16
8:00 - Wedding Day (A new reality show from Survivor's Mark Burnett)
9:00 - HawthoRNe (A new series starring Jada Pinkett Smith)
10:00 - Saving Grace
Wednesday, July 15
9:00 - Leverage
10:00 - Dark Blue (A new series staring Dylan McDermott)
(Amazon MP3): Delicious Vinyl was only second to Def Jam in terms of great hip-hop records from the eighties, and on this sampler you Young MC’s Bust a Move, a Tone Loc remix, songs from The Pharcyde and member Fatlip and more.
(Big, The Simpsons Movie, Night at the Museum)
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in telling that story, but Post Grad features Matt Saresen saranading Rory Gilmore, so hopefully it will be at the very least watchable.