Nobody can set a bar as low as Paris Hilton not even the thought of Kevin Federline rapping had as low of expectations. Quite a marketing strategy actually because no how bad it is, it’s going to better than expected. And just that happened when her song Stars Are Blind “leaked” (yeah, much like her sex tape leaked) onto the internet. But saying the song was better than expected would be saying after meeting Osama bin Ladin saying, “You know, he was less evil than I thought he’d be.” Just because the song was a two on a scale of a hundred instead of one doesn’t make it a good song. Not to mention if I were Deborah Harry I’d sue and point to every review of the song as proof that it blatantly stole from The Tide Is High.
On the aptly titled Paris (not as catch as One Night in Paris, but anyways) Paris’ singing is very akin to her speech patterns; very little inflection which could explain why her vocals are distorted or layered thought the album and there are time where I’m pretty sure the lead vocal isn’t her especially at the end of Turn it Up. It’s so deliberate and overdone even Ashlee Simpson could make fun of Paris’ singing without anyone mentioning pots and kettles. Paris even tries at spoken word and cooing but and the result is laughable at best. In the chorus of one song she inexplicably turns “fight” into a two syllable word. Most of the songs are about how sexy she is with titles including Fightin’ Over Me, Turn You On (where she disturbingly says she’ll be our “liquid dream,” did she not learn from O-Town how creepy that phrase is) and the apparently ironic Screwed.
Then there is Jealousy which will obviously conjure up thoughts of Nicole Richie until you realize that would me that it was actually Paris who wrote the song. I’m just going to assume that she got writing credits for telling someone else things like, “write me a song about how evil Nicole,” or randomly dropping, “that’s hot,” into a song. I can’t image Paris would write the line in Not Leaving Without You, “Don’t ask me for my number because my number’s undercover,” when anyone with an internet connection can find her, and all her friends numbers there.
And for those who took the under for thirty second on how long it would take for Paris to say “That’s hot,” which also happens to be the most annoying catchphrase ever, on the album, time to call up you bookie because you won by twenty-five seconds. She also gives an early shout-out to her producer, Scott Storch three times in the first two songs, which is the most annoying innovation in music today, even more annoying than rappers who namedrop their label. Wait, I was wrong saying “That’s hot” is the most annoying catchphrase, no that title goes to guest rapper Morbidly Obese Joe (saying he's fat is the understatement of the decade) who for some reason has to say “Crack” every time he starts raping. He shows up on Fightin’ Over Me along with Jadakiss who I think wasn’t actually told that the verse for a Paris Hilton song as he doesn’t mention it or even raps about what the song is about.
Stealing is a big theme of this album. Aside from the previously mentioned Blondie rip-off (not to mention they obviously stole the idea for the Stars Are Blind video from Chris Isaak) there are plenty of other “influences” on the album. Heartbeat starts off just like Love at First Sight by Kylie Minogue and everything in-between sound like what would happen if someone was making an eighties movie but didn’t have enough money to license any songs from the era so they paid someone really cheap and the song is the result. Then there’s Nothing in this World which totally rips off The Veronicas’ 4Ever granted not as blatantly as Pink did with her note for note grand larceny U + Ur Hand but there is something to be said about stealing from a song that someone already did a couple months earlier. Another “influence” you can find on the album is Donna Summer on Not Leaving Without You which has almost the exact same beat as I Need Love. The only legal theft sample is on I Want You which takes from the theme to Grease (which my sources tell me is the word).
The album comes to a conclusion with I believe another reviewer called a sign of the apocalypse, and really I can’t think of a better comparison, when Paris tries sing Rod Stewart’s Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? In a word: No. I have reviewed a bunch of bad albums in the past but Paris is so bad I had to invent a new level to my Terror Alert Scale - TA:Black.
Song to Download - Are You Kidding?
Paris gets a [TA: Black] on my Terror Alert Scale.
There is nothing more entertaining than a good roast basically because it is much more fun making fun of someone to their face then behind their back. A couple years back Comedy Central brought back the long and hollowed tradition but has sunk recently with roasts of non comedians like Hugh Hefner and last years lowest of the low Pamela Anderson-Lee-Rock where they hauled out unknown comic after unknown comic who would have every third word censored and half of the remaining word probable would have been censored also had it not been late night on basic cable. This year they tried to go back to a more dignified roastee with Emmy award winning William Shatner.
It usually not a good sign when the first bit of the night, but Leonard Nimoy’s refusal to appear at the roast was hilarious but I’m surprised only one roaster called Nimoy out for not showing (and with all the Jews onstage there was only two Mel Gibson jabs). But a few of Shatner’s Star Trek brethren showed up including the black chick and the Asian dude who recently came out of the closet. I was going to make a running joke on who received the more gay homosexual jokes between Sulu and Andy Dick but there were so many I lost track before the first commercial break.
The roastmaster for the night was Jason Alexander of Listen Up fame and as one roaster said it was nice to here him being funny again aside from reruns. The roasters were bookend by Greg Geraldo and Lisa Lampanelli, who were both leftovers from the Pam Anderson one last year and both showed why were haven’t heard anything from them in-between. They must have something on a higher up at Comedy Central to keep getting involved even though they have no connection to the roastees. They showed many Star Trek alumni, co-workers from Boston Public, and even the other dude from T.J. Hooker in the crowd. It would have been a lot more entertain had they just gotten a writer to help them out with a roast and had them deliver.
And it was those closest to Shatner who gave the best roast with Sulu and Betty White both suggesting they have recently had sex with the man of the evening although both disturbingly made nut jokes. Plus you could tell Shatner liked (or hated depending how you look at) Sulu’s roast the most as he gave the same token laugh for everyone else to the point the I think he only laughed once and they just showed that again and again, but for Sulu he actually changed his expression for the only time last night.
Another stand out roaster was Patton Owsalt, who even though wasn’t a friend of Billy, his uber-geek made his roast entertaining nonetheless. Then there was the train wreck that is Farrah Fawcett who rightfully got plenty of Courtney Love comparisons who continually fumbled through her roast. It great that even though there were plenty of obvious edits throughout the show that they didn’t chop Farrah as she tried unsuccessfully three times to tell a joke. To add to the creepy, Clint Howard (Ron’s brother) reprised his role as an evil kid from a Star Trek episode. Must be seen for you to believed.
But as always the roastee got the last laugh with Shatner ripping into everyone there and even chided them for not making the easiest joke about him being a cheap Jew for having Scottie wait until after 7:00 to beam him up when charges are lower. Much like the first scene, it isn’t a good sign when the non-comedian roastee gives the best line. Since it is cable, I’m sure you can catch the repeat of the roast of William Shatner throughout the week and you can also catch uncensored bits and red carpet moments on it’s broadband channel Motherload.
In a bit of programming news, I must inform the readers of the 9th Green that tomorrow there will be a review up of the new Paris Hilton album. You have been warned.
Not too long ago, there was an article I read in Newsweek about a larger amount of twenty and thirty year olds moving back in with their parents due to growing cost of living, high college payments that they can’t payoff with their entry level job. Holleywood never one not to jump on trends promptly made a movie out of the movement and even named it after the phenomenon, Failure to Launch. But it’s hard as the general public to laugh at someone on the wrong side of thirty when that role goes to Matthew McConaughey (Dazed and Confused) coming off People’s declaration as World’s Sexiest Man.
But unlike the reasons I stated above Matthew’s character instead stays at home because he likes it there; his mom still does his laundry, cooks him breakfast and dinner (and even packs his lunch), and cleans his room. It even seems that he doesn’t even help out with lawn care as dad is the one who cuts the lawn; I’m just hoping dude at least pays some sort of rent. In his spare time he even hangs out with his friends, Bradly Cooper (Alias) and Justin Bartha (Gigli), who also still live at home but unlike Matthew actually make excuses to why. McConaughey is so lazy, he doesn’t even break up with his girlfriend, instead opts to take them home to “bump” into his parents making them bolt.
The story picks up when mom and pop, Kathy Bates (The Waterboy) and Terry Bradshaw (Pittsburg Steelers), thinks it’s time for their boy to fly the coop so they bring in a professional, Sarah Jessica Parker (Square Pegs), who’s job is it to get cozy with a boy, build up his self esteem to the point where he’s confident to move out. She pulls out all the romantic comedy stops in hopes of getting closer, but once he finds out what she and her parents are up to, even more hilarity is supposed to ensue but instead comes off like disturbingly enough just like McConaughey last foray into the romantic comedy genre, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
And it gets worse than you already think, this may be a spoiler, but it’s something you definitely want to know if you actually decide to see the movie, Bradshaw gets naked. And the scene doesn’t cleverly hide his backside like Austin Powers; you get to see an old dude’s butt. How the movie still got a PG-13 rating after that is beyond me. The lone saving point is Parker’s moody roommate, played by Zooey Deschanel (The New Guy), whose I’m only happy when it rains outlook is the only thing that is worth laughing at in the movie.
Failure to Launch gets a ![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Waiting On the World to Change - John Mayer
Who would have thought it would be John Mayer that would best sum up Generation X/Y’s thoughts on the current state of the world? But politics aside it’s cool how the blue tint syncs up John’s deeper decent into the blues. Though it is still a little weird looking at the New York skyline from the Brooklyn Bridge and not seeing the Twin Towers. The graffiti in the video but it was kind of cheesy that they put that disclaimer at the end. More on this song when I review his new album Continuum in September
Original Fire - Audioslave
Yeah, the video has been done many times before (but this time with red tint!) the video is cool, not as cool as the simplistic firework themed Cochise, but cool nonetheless. But what’s fun with videos like this is questioning who gets pictured (is that the dude from Quiet Riot near the end) and people who didn’t make the cut (did I miss Bob Marley somewhere). More on this song when I review Audioslave’s new album Revelations in early September.
Far Away - Nickelback
Yeah, Nickelback still sands for everything that’s wrong in rock music today, but this is one of their songs that sucks the least. And music aside, the video is cool and hard not to get rapped up in the story.
Listen!!! - Talib Kweli
After review some extremely boring rappers lately, it looks like quality rap is making a comeback with The Roots coming out with an album soon as well as Ear Drum coming soon from Talib Kweli. Much like the Audioslave video, the graphics are cool, but just as the song title suggests you should just listen. Just shows you how bad rap on the radio has become.
Shelter - Kelly Clarkson
As I mentioned in my review of The Last Kiss Soundtrack (see All These Places Feel Like Home) Ray LaMontagne may most be known for have Kelly Clarkson cover one of his songs at a Katrina Benefit and here is that performance. I’m sure all the phone numbers running across the screen are still active and since New Orleans still looks like Hell even as we come upon the one year anniversary. Which is why I posted this video instead of the one of a drunken alcoholic Clarkson at a Metal Skool concert which is the funniest video I’ve seen in a while (and begs the question who took the bigger credibility hit: the dude from Yellowcard for hanging out with Clarkson, or Clarkson foe hanging out with the dude from Yellowcard). Well maybe not as funny as Denis Leary’s anti-Mel Gibson tirade at a Red Sox game. Or Neil Young on the Colbert Report. Or any interview Samuel L. Jackson has give for Snakes on a Plane. Okay maybe the Clarkson video isn’t that funny except when they rag on Britney Spears.
Obie Trice is the only rapper worth listening to in Eminem’s camp ever since 50 Cent turned into the very thing that he grew an audience dissing, Ja-Rule. But in a bit of Murphy’s Law, Obie got little cross-over success even with the infectious and humorous Got Some Teeth off his first album Cheers. But a lot has happened in the three years since that album dropped first and foremost was when Obie was shot in the head while driving around his native Detroit last year and then his running buddy at Shady Records, Proof was also shot, but this time was fatal. These two events made Obie’s sophomore effort Second Round’s on Me a more morbid album.
The production, mostly by Eminem and Obie himself, echoes the darker direction of the album. The beats are more sparse and grittier than their predecessors. But a few of the beats get too fast for Obie and just can’t keep up like on Lay Down or Out of State which sounds like a leftover beat from a nineties OutKast album. Obie is at his best when he has beats that bring out his laid back delivery. Aside from the darker themes, Obie even took a different approach to recording this time around as instead of writing his lyrics down he flowed freestyle much of the album and makes his already distinct voice even more distinctive.
As for the actual song, Obie slips into many rap clichés. The most annoying of which is the anti-snitching sentiment behind Snitch although Akon’s chorus does make the song almost interesting. Then he raps about the worst waste of money ever rims on 24’s. Someone really needs to sit these rappers down and have them listen to Chris Rock explain the difference between being rich and being wealthy. And when he avoids the typical rap clichés, the rest of the album is typically mediocre.
Aside from Akon, the first half of the album is basically just Obie, but second half of the album is jam packed with other guest appearances. Brick & Lace, who are quickly becoming the go to hook singers when a rapper can’t get a name R&B singer, bring down Jamaican Girl. The always reliable Nate Dogg helps out on All of My Life. Trey Songz has hook duty on two songs one of which (Ghetto) is much better than the other (Mama). And Obie brings out the heavyweights with Eminem, along with Big Herk, on the Detroit anthem There They Go while 50 Cent, who much like his last two albums sounds bored on Everywhere I Go. Speaking of rap clichés, Obie even samples Scareface, the movie not the dude from the Geto Boys, on Kill Me a Mutha, and that is just way too many clichés for one album.
Song to Download - Cry Now
Second Round’s on Me get a ![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
When devising this site, early on I decided there were three types of albums I wouldn’t review, Greatest Hits, Live Albums, or Soundtracks. I put a moratorium on Greatest Hits because everyone knows all the songs anyways and really the only reason to talk about them is to discuss what was left off (think I’m on Fire missing from Bruce Springsteen’s) and Live Albums are pretty much Greatest Hits just, well, played live. Soundtracks are a different beast because they fall into two different categories, a collection of older songs that everyone knows then there are films will lower budgets who just stick nameless bands that record labels pay to put on for promotional purposes. Really there hasn’t been a soundtrack worth listening to in the past decade. Well except for one: the Garden State Soundtrack.
The soundtrack for Grammy winner Zach Braff was so good it turned a decent movie into a much better one. Who new the dude from Men at Work was still making music and good music at that? Yeah, the song that was supposable supposed to change my life didn’t really do so; the soundtrack to his second movie, The Last Kiss is still worth talking about. It does look like since the success of the last album, Braff got a little more money as he has a couple more visible names this time around. Coldplay are back, but Braff dipped into there second album this time for one of the standout tracks from A Rush of Blood to the Head, their best album to date, with Warning Sign. Chocolate off of Snow Patrol’s Final Straw starts off the soundtrack and my favorite Fiona Apple song not named Never Is a Promise, Paper Bag from the album whose name is so long it would double the length of this post also makes an appearance. Also the always solid Aimee Mann makes an appearance.
Coldplay aren’t the only Garden State overlap as Carey Brothers, who’s Blue Eyes was one of the better track, is back with the not as good Ride as he goes in more of a psychedelic way opposed to the more singer-songwriter vibe of Blue Eyes. Other notable tracks include Star Mile by Joshua Radin that could have easily fit on the Garden State Soundtrack. Turin Breaks deliver a great snooty English acoustic song, Pain Killer. El Salvador by Athlete sounds like if the Barenaked Ladies were British. The sadly overlooked Rachel Yamagata gives one of the best performances on the album with the piano driven Reasons Why. But the label of the best goes to Ray LaMontagne, who may be best know for having the original karaoke queen, Kelly Clarkson, sing one of his songs, Shelter, at the televised Katrina benefit ReAct Now: Music and Relief, or his great version of Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy that is making it’s round across the internet and qorth hunting down. LaMontagne’s song here Hold You in My Arms sound’s straight of the singer-songwriters heyday of the sixties but without sounding dated. (Also look for a review of his latest album soon here on the 9th Green.)
Remy Zero is another Garden State holdover, but its nineties alternative rock track Prophesy, even though decent, doesn’t fit on the soundtrack. Amos Lee puts on a stellar performance with the stripped down Arms of a Woman, but it can be easily overlooked with the superior LaMontagne track, which has the same vibe, on the same album. Filling in the virtually unknown actress who also sings role of Bonnie Somerville is Schuylar Fisk, who you should remember as the female lead in Orange Country finishes off the album with a duet with Joshua Radin which is neither memorable nor bad.
But the album is not without its flaws. Imogen Heap delivers a weird acapella song Hide and Seek whose layered vocals just don’t stack together well. Then there Rufus Wainwright, who I can never get into because I can’t get past his lisp/slurred speech singing style, with Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk. But overall the soundtrack makes me earger to see the movie which won’t be out until September 15th. But for those that want a sneek peek, check out the video podcast where Zack Braff talks little about the movie, but some of the segments prominently feature Rachel Bilson, who definitely isn’t Natalie Portman, but is still easy to look at anyway.
Song to Download - Hold You in My Arms
The Last Kiss Soundtrack gets a ![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
A couple weeks ago I brought to you a list of Blender’s 25 Biggest Wusses and now another publication has gone even further by listing the 111 Wussiest Songs Ever. I’m not sure what it says about me, but of the 111, forty of them could be found on my iPod (one of which I can even play on the piano, two bonus points to anyone who guesses that correctly), although I don’t have number one, Shiny Happy People even though I do have that REM album.. So I whittled those down to twenty-five for this month’s lyrics quiz. Now I won’t give you a link to that list as it would make things easier (but once all the songs have been guessed I will) and if you have come across this list, please don’t reference it to help yourself. Also please don’t use search engines as you don’t actually win anything, just pick your own brain (or a brain of a friend if you want). As always, put both the song title and artist in the comment section and if you are right, I will un-bold the song and give you credit. Be sure to come back later if you want the link to see the complete 111 song. Now onto the quiz:
As I mentioned in the paragraph above, the songs were compiled from a list, well here's the list and you are more than welcome to look at it to help you in answering the remaining songs, 111 Wussiest Songs of All Time.
1. But I wonder does he know, has he ever felt like this and I know that you’d be here right now if I could have let you know somehow. (Every Rose Has its Thorn - Poison; guessed by Dane Bramage)
2. I’ll bring fire in the winters; you’ll send showers in the spring. (Longer - Dan Folelburg; guessed by Dane Bramage)
3. If its love you want from me, then take it away. Everything’s not what you see, it’s over today. (Do You Really Want to Hurt Me - Culture Club; guessed by Katy)
4. You know just what to say and you know just what to do, and I want to tell you so much, I love you. (Hello - Lionel Richie; guessed by Monique)
5. No matter the distance I want you to know that deep down inside of me you are my fire. (I Want it That Way - Backstreet Boys; guessed by Mel)
6. See I was on the verge of breaking down sometime silence can seem so loud. (I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly; guessed by MC)
7. I wonder how we can survive this moment but in the end if I’m with you I’ll take the chance. (Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx; guessed by Mel who also got the bonus question correct)
8. There’s something about the way the hair falls in your face, I love the shape you take while crawling towards the pillowcase. (Your Body Is a Wonderland - John Mayer; guessed by MC)
9. I wish I could carry your smile in my heart for times when my life seems so low, you make me believe what tomorrow could bring when today doesn’t really know. (All Out of Love - Air Supply; guessed by Monique)
10. Only a man in a phony red sheet looking for special things inside of me. (Superman (It Ain't Easy) - Five for Fighting; fuessed by MC)
11. What would you say if I took those words away, then you couldn’t make things new just by saying “I love you.” (More than Words - Extreme; guessed by MC)
12. I used to think maybe you loved me now baby I’m sure. (Walking on Sunshine - Katrina nd the Waves; guessed by Dane Bramage)
13. Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go until we’re gone. (My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion; guessed by Dane Bramage)
14. I still can’t believe you’re gone, give anything to hear half you’re breath I know you’re still living you’re life after death. (I'll Be Missing You - Puff Daddy; guessed by MB)
15. I’m trying hard to figure out just how I ever did without the warmth of your smile, the heart of a child that’s deep inside, it keeps me purified. (God Must Have Spent a Little More Time On You - *NSYNC; guessed by Dane Bramage)
16. People can be so cold. They’ll hurt you and desert you, they’ll take your soul if you let them, but don’t you let them. (You Got a Friend - James Taylor; guessed by Dane Bramage)
17. I had to settle down, now I’m playing it real straight and yes I cut my hair. (Hip to be Square - Huey Lewis and the News; guessed by Natsthename)
18. Need to know that you will always be the same old someone that I knew. What will it take for you to believe in me the way I believe in you. (Just the Way You Are - Billy Joel; guessed by RHCP)
19. There’s no love like your love, and no other could give more love, there’s nowhere unless you’re there, all the time, all the way. ((Everything I Do) I Do it For You - Bryan Adams; guessed by MC)
20. You sing a sad song just to turn it around. (Bad Day - Daniel Powder; guessed by Lisa)
21. Sweet Freedom whispered in my ear, “You’re a butterfly and butterflies are free to fly; fly away, high away, bye-bye.” (Someone Saved My Soul Tonight - Elton John; guessed by Dane Bramage)
22. Hold on little girl, show me he’s done to you, stand up little girl, a broken heart can’t be that bad. (To Be with You - Mr. Big; guessed by Lisa)
23. She was there through my incarceration; I wanna show the world my appreciation. (Angel - Shaggy; guessed by RHCP)
24. I’m standing on the edge of time; I’ve walked away when love was mine. Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, tears are in my eyes and nothing is rhyming. (Mandy - Barry Manilow; guessed by Dane Bramage)
25. Would you run and never look back? Would you cry if you saw me crying? Would you save my soul tonight? (Hero - Enrique Iglesias; guessed by Mel)
Also for those who are interested, my sister site, Scooter McGavin Takes Pictures has a press release on the latest season of America's Next Top Model, so check that out to see the names of this year's girls and a group picture.
In a story I broke yesterday, this blog hit the big 5-0-0 and in the year and a half I’ve been doing music reviews there has seemed to be a resurgence of mid-nineties frat rock as in that time I have reviewed albums by Better Than Erza, Hootie and the Blowfish, Spin Doctors, Live, Oasis, and Blues Traveler as well another mainstay of the time Jewel (click the band’s name to go to my reviews). Well it hasn’t been that much of a resurgence because none of the bands seem to make much of a dent on the radio aside from a minor hit from BTE. Next up to try to revive their nineties dominance is the reunited Gin Blossoms with their new album Major Lodge Victory. Now if only we can get Toad the Wet Sprocket and the Refreshments back together and I’ll feel right back in high school.
Now of all the bands listed above, I’d put Gin Blossoms at the bottom of the list and really I’d only put them above Matchbox Twenty from that time period although I seemed to amass a few of their earlier albums. When it comes down to it they were able to write a bunch of good songs, but they were lacking that one great song that I could latch onto. I’m sure we can easily list our favorite song from the other bands but how many can do that for the Gin Blossoms? Didn’t think so. (For the record, I’d go with Until I Fall Away).
It’s much of the same on Major Lodge Victory with a bunch of good songs, but nothing great. But that’s actually an improvement above some of the over nineties refugee’s latest who struggled to even write a good song. Whereas those bands can’t seem to find their signature sound anymore, the Gin Blossoms’ latest album southern rock with a modern twist sounds like it was a lost album that could have been released between New Miserable Experience and Congratulations… I’m Sorry.
Half of the songs here could have found its way onto the radio a decade ago with their breezy, laid back rock much like Learning the Hard Way or Someday Soon, but unfortunately you have to have a reality show to get on the radio these days. End of the World is a decent mid-tempo song they mastered earlier in their career. The band even expands on that sound as Come on Hard has a cool overlapping vocal in the middle of the song. Super Girl is where the band expands the most with a chorus that can easily get stuck in your head.
That’s not to say the album is perfect. Heart Shaped Locket is kind of cheesy with it’s lyrics about Cleopatra and Sandra Dee. Let’s Play Two sounds like it was commissioned by a minor league team and the band didn’t bother to put much time on it because it was for a couple hundred fans in Duluth. Jet Black Sunrise is a slow song that just gets boring after a while; in fact the last couple songs just fall flat. But when it comes down to it, if you never like the Gin Blossoms, this won’t be the album to change your mind, but if you find yourself hoping for a third volume of I Love the 90’s so you can here Hal Sparks wax poetic on Hey Jealousy, then you should pick up this album. (Did VH1 really skip over them or am I having a brain freeze and forgot the segment?)
Song to Download - Super Girl
Major Lounge Victory gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
This post you are reading marks the 500th post here at the 9th Green. Yippie. I really don’t have anything to celebrate the occasion even though I realized I was coming up on the milestone over a month ago. And in lieu of cards, presents, or money, really all I ask of you the reader is to take three minutes out of your day and watch the video below courtesy of YouTube. If you venture the blogs I do, no doubt you have seen it already, but this promo is more for people who haven’t seen the show the video promote. So everyone please give it a watch. And for those keeping track at home, the song in the second half is The Killers All These Things That I've Done.Okay, I do have a small, but very cool announcement; “Weird Al” Yankovic has a new album coming out next month. Pre-order your copy of Straight Outta Lynwood from Amazon below. I’m a little worried about the quality considering he had to reference an almost two decade old record. But as long there is a polka or two on it, I’ll be happy. There is no track list yet but expect parodies of Chamillionaire, Green Day, Usher, R. Kelly (I’m not sure he can top Dave Chappelle’s parody, link definitely not safe for work) as well as some karaoke winner and the duel disk also contains six new music videos. One parody you won’t here is one of James Blunt, but you can still download it from Weird Al’s website. Oh, and if you really, really want to congratulate me by sending gifts or money, I guess there is really no way foe me to stop you.
Scooter Update: It just came to my attention after watching the latest episode of Flavor of Love that season one of the show will be available on August uncensored so you at home can watch the spit seen round the world in crystal DVD imaging rather than watch the grainy YouTube version (again link not safe for work or for people with class). “Weird Al” and Flavor Flav: what more can a man ask for? (And yes both are on my wishlist over at Amazon.)
Where the music industry fail at every turn when it comes to the internet, television on the other hand seems to get everything right. And no one is above the curve more than ABC. They were the first to put up their shows on iTunes and also were one of the first to give viewers the ability to stream shows for free after they aired with very little commercial interruption. They have also been out in front promoting their cable outlet ABC Family last month giving people a chance to download their new series Kyle XY (which I skipped on account that the no belly button dude creeped me out) for free and continued that trend with its latest series Three Moons Over Milford (click image above to download it yourself). Much like The Amazing Screw-On Head (see my First Impression), I probable would have never scene the show had it not been available on the internet. Now if only the music companies would take note and stop suing people and make the music more accessible not less.
Three Moons Over Milford focus on a small town in Vermont where all the townspeople think it’s the end of the world as they know it (and they don’t feel fine) after an asteroid hits the moon splitting it into three segments, one of which is forecasted to hit squarely on the town sometime in the future, when no one is really for sure. Most specifically, the show centers around a family in the small town whose post-moon split was affected the most when the patriarch, some big science dude with a major company, decides to spend out the rest of his days in a teepee. A very high tech teepee. It’s not very clear if he and his wife, played by Elizabeth McGovern (She’s Having a Baby), got a divorce because of the spilt and I’m not sure if the townspeople know either as one asked if he should call her Ms. or Mrs. (she did reply Mrs.).
The kids in the family seem to be spiraling out of control with the eldest just getting his license and he wants to make the most of what may be his short life. This includes getting involved with a worker at his dad’s company who was most likely in high school when he was born, not that she knows this as he lies to her and tells her that he was in college (keep in mind this is airing on ABC Family). The there is the younger daughter who turns to witchcraft (keep in mind this is ABC Family) in hopes to put the moon back together, but things don’t go well for the novice. Rounding out the cast is the resident lawyer/plumber (which isn’t as cool as Ed’s layer/bowling ally combo) played by Rob Bolton (nothing you would know) and Saturday Night Live veteran Nora Dunn as a ruthless real estate agent, and surprisingly business is boom despite the whole end of the world thing.
Despite the interesting concept of people facing the end of the world (beating out the CBS the end is near show Jericho by a couple weeks), at heart it’s still a small town dramedy, but unlike similar shows like Northern Exposure, Everwood, Gilmore Girls, and the previously mentioned Ed, there is a sever lack of quirky characters to play off the straight lead. Also there is something to be said about the show being on ABC Family with it’s un-family like storylines like statutory rape, Wicca’s, and the occasional swear word. Ever since ABC took over the channel from Fox, they have treated it more like a secondary channel outlet than an alternative for families. Seriously, what family sits down to watch The Bachelor marathon? But when it comes down to it, Three Moons Over Milford is too edgy for families, but really not edgy enough for regular viewers.
Verdict: There is a possibility that the show could get better, but unless it continues to be free to download at my convenience, it’s not something to go out of your way to watch. Three Moons Over Milford airs Sundays at 8:00.
Most people will know Nina Gordon by the nineties alternative band Veruca Salt. But much like the other female led alt-girl bands of the era (think The Breeders) I really didn’t care for them and didn’t mind that they went back into obscurity as quickly as they escaped it (although I did like Belly). But after leaving the band, Gordon drifted more into the silly named adult alternative genre and released one of my favorite songs of 2000 with Tonight and the Rest of My Life (coming in at number eighteen in my end of the year list) that feature a more mature artist that got rid of the bratty persona that her former band was named after (think Willy Wonka). But that was six years ago and now Gordon is back with her sophomore effort Bleeding Heart Graffiti.
It’s easy to compare Nina Gordon to Liz Phair as both were indie-rock chicks who have morphed themselves into more of a pop/rock acts, but where Phair has started to come off as an older version of Avril Lavigne or a better singing Ashlee Simpson which means more catchy songs but tend to be disposable, Gordon has transitioned herself more gracefully as her music is accessible without losing any integrity like an Americanize version of Sarah McLachlan. Bleeding Heart Graffiti is an album in every sense of the word with the mood setting intro of the title track all the way to the short outro of The Crickets Sound like Sleigh Bells which really isn’t a holiday song much like Christmas Lights early on the album.
There are plenty of stand out tracks here like the previously mention Christmas Lights that hits all the right notes and when she sings the line, “Tonight I’ll sing out as loud as I can like a die hard fan for my favorite band, loud as I can,” you want to be there stand right beside her. The vulnerability in Gordon’s voice on Don’t Let Me Down can melt your heart. The song Turn on Your Radio is exactly what you should do with this song if you ever find yourself driving on a country road at night in the summer time. It also doubles as a great post-break up song with lyrics like, “I wanna write a song that will break your heart.” The guitars that start off and end When You Don’t Want Me Anymore have a cool Baby I’m Amazed feel to them. Bones and a Name starts as a slow moving introspective acoustic song that builds and builds only to be brought back down to the bridge and crescendos again for the end of the song.
There are a few songs though that are skipable. It may be the chauvinist pig in me, but Suffragette (much like The Man Show dudes, I think we should put an end to the suffrage) just didn’t do for as it seemed a little too poppy for me. Pure is a little sappy, but the track does finish up strong with its overlapping vocals. But even though nothing on this album as good as Tonight and the Rest of My Life (there is an acoustic version of the song on the iTunes version of Bleeding Heart Graffiti), there are plenty good songs that much the album worth listening to.
Song to Download - Bones and a Name
Bleeding Heart Graffiti gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
The movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith will always be remembered more for what happened off the set with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie then what happened on screen. But since this blog doesn’t deal with salacious news, I won’t comment on any off the off screen happenings or the irony that the movie that stared Jennifer Aniston’s future ex-husband also featured future (alleged) husband. Nope, not gonna talk about that kind of stuff.
The plot features something I’m sure more than a few people can relate to with a married couple in a stale marriage that is filled with lies, except their lies are a lot bigger than most couples in that they both are hired assassins. In the beginning we spend some time watching their mundane lives which is, well mundane to watch. I know I said this when I reviewed The Matador (see my review - Oh, So Now Killing People is a Good Time), but movies about assassins should never be boring at any point. Seriously, is it that hard when you run into a down spot to just randomly have a cut scene with some dude getting off-ed in some creative way?
Another problem early in the film was the introduction of the Adam Brody from The O.C. as some random dude who seemed important and just disappeared. His storyline gets resolved late in the movie, but I spent the middle part wondering if I missed something. Also not given enough screen time was Vince Vaughn as ironically Pitt’s buddy/co-worker. Another way they could have solved the mundane scenes was inject more Vaughn throughout the movie. At least he faired better compared to Jolie’s buddies/co-workers who had less screen time and then had divide the time with four other actresses. How you don’t exploit a group of female assassins in beyond me.
But with all those complaints, when the movie did kick into high gear it was gripping. Each action sequence is more jam packed then the next all peppered with the right amount of humor and violence. This is highlighted by when the Smiths go after each other in there own home. And when they both lose their weapons there, the battle only gets better because well, guns are for wusses; real men (or women) will beat you down with their hands. There is also a great car chase where with a soundtrack of oddly enough of Making Love Out of Nothing at All (which the person I watch it with wrongly tried to argue Meatloaf when I said it was Air Supply; a lesson to all, never question my knowledge of cheesy music). Mr. and Mrs. Smith may have some down points but at the very least it’s a good waste of ninety minutes.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
