Goodnight Michelle

Yesterday didn’t see the arrival of not one album that is the product of an MTV reality show, but two. But unlike yesterdays other release Cheyenne which is repeated ad nauseam, Blowin’ Up rarely gets a repeat so I really haven’t caught much because I really don’t know when the first run episodes show. From what I have seen, the show is hit and miss with Jamie Kennedy playing the slightly mentally retarded one and his sidekick Stu Stone as an overanxious wannabe.

But after seeing the video for Rollin’ w/ Saget, I had high expectations thinking the duo could become the twenty-first century “Weird Al” Yankovic. Unfortunately for half the album, it sounds like they are actually trying to be legit. But the beats are second rate making them sound like Brian Austin Green (who they ironically shout-out during the album). They even were able to corral actual rappers to donate verses like Kardinal Offishal. E-40 recreates (along with Jason Biggs) his Jamie Kennedy diss track and straight off is appearance on the Brooke Hogan song, Paul Wall shows up on Mattress Mack. This begs the question what is Paul Wall’s sadder guest appearance. But I do have to give it up to Stu for throwing the line, “Homeruns in H-Town like my name was Berkman” into that song. Luckily Ice-T doesn’t degrade himself bye rapping on a track but just shows up to show his support for Kennedy, but his wife Coco steals the track by giving Stu some love.

As for the songs that I think that were supposed to be funny, they rarely warrant a chuckle. 1984 may have been funnier had Bowling for Soup hadn’t lampooned the seminal time period two years ago. The token diss track Knuckle Up is upstaged by the previous skit where Kennedy is hesitant about dissing Ashton Kutcher and Colin Ferrell. Celebrity Stalker is slightly funnier where the boys hit on ckicks that normal dudes would pass up, “My favorite show to (expletive deleted) to? Gotta be The Facts of Life. (Expletive deleted) Lindsay Lohan, give me Mindy Cohn.” But the song does have very little replay value. Then there is Bologna, and the previous Blaine’s Story Skit, which should have gay right groups up in arms. Not that it makes fun of them, instead just on the principal that it is one of the dumbest songs ever recorded.

But the crown jewel of the album, and the only song worth listening to again is Rollin’ w/ Saget. After hearing the rest of the album, it’s clear that it is Danny Tanner himself that is the comical genius behind the song as there are very few bits more hilarious then hearing him say, “I got a (expletive deleted) like a donkey, (expletive deleted) as a rock and a trigger finger itchier than chicken pox.” We did indeed witnessed the strength of Bob Saget and you got to love the N.W.A. reference to intro Saget. Before the song there’s even a bit with Saget calling Kennedy’s voice mail suggesting they go out and date someone’s daughters. Although it’s a crime that iTunes wants a full ninty-nine cents for twenty-two seconds (for those keeping track at home, that’s four and a half pennies per second).

Song to Download - Rollin’ w/ Saget

Blowin’ Up gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

This Is Gonna Rock Until it Rolls

Before I get to the album review, I must comment on the show Cheyenne. The show is the most boring reality show ever to be put on the television. Yes more boring than The Hills, more boring than My Fair Brady, I’d even suggest that if Al Gore or Tiger Woods had a reality show, Cheyenne would even be more boring than Al’s show. But at least it doesn’t chronicle how little talent she has much like the Ashlee Simpson reality show did. With that said, the sleep inducing show will have no bearing on my review of the debut album by Cheyenne Kimball. Oh, so she does has a last name.

But her theme song, which happens to also be her first single, Hanging On is not off limits for this review. Her whiney, nasal voice is extremely hard to listen too, Ashlee Simpson at the Rose Bowl bad. Oh and she has had a bad day. I think I’ll pass on her suggestion to alleviate the problem by laugh about it anyways because I much rather sing a sad song just to turn it around.

Okay, cheesy jokes aside, The Day Has Come starts of with a pretentious Intro, you rarely see that in the teen pop genre. After the Radiohead through the mind of a teenage girl starter, it’s time to rock with I Want To. Luckily the song doesn’t feature the annoying nasal singing from Hanging On but Kimball’s voice still sounds inexperienced here. One Original Thing (I won't point out the irony of someone who’s selling her album via a reality show wanting “One original thing”) is bouncy and will most like emanate from Middle Schools around the country by Halloween. At least that’s better then hearing under-aged girls constantly singing the cursed-filled Hollaback Girl like last summer.

Unfortunately throughout the album, nasal voice comes and goes which is really downer like on Good Go Bad and Everything. But when it comes down to it, The Day Has Come is music for those who liked Avril Lavigne’s first album, but thought the second one was too edgy especially when Kimball sings the power pop Hello Goodbye. Cheyenne tries to get her Michelle Branch on for the more sensitive songs These Four Walls and Full Circle but the former is plagued by the dreaded nasal voice during the chorus and she still can’t avoid sounding her age.

One thing Kimball has going for her is that she surrounded herself with a decent group of musicians who elevate some poor songs to actually listenable unlike say Ashlee Simpson whose backing band plays just about as good as she sings (yes, I’m trying to break the most Ashlee Simpson digs in a post). Maybe after she’s put a few more years behind her Kimball will have enough life experiences to put together to write enough songs and grow out of, or at least learn to avoid using her nasal voice. But then again, Hanson eventually did the same thing and look what happened to them.

Song to Download - I Want To

The Day Has Come gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

R.I.P. Syd Barrett

Shine On You Crazy Diamond.


For more on the life and death of Syd Barrett, check out this article on vh1.com.

Lost Impressions - Chappelle’s Show

Last week during the review of the new Johnny Cash (see He Said “John Go Do My Will”) album I mentioned how it’s a touch subject releasing an album posthumously because you don’t really know if that is how the artist wanted you to hear the songs like that. Chappelle’s Show: The Lost Episodes get a little touchier because Dave Chappelle is still around and very adamant that Comedy Central not air the episodes that were to comprise of skits for the third season of his show before he shut down production an bolted for Africa.

But not to miss a way to milked their cash cow even after it dried up, the channel decided to package those skits together anyways with help from Chappelle’s former writing partner and friend Neil Brennan. Also on board are to take over hosting duties are Charlie Murphy and Donnell “I’m Rich biooootch” Rawlings. And the two were quick to explain why they would sell out their former employer, money and more camera time. I really don’t understand why they didn’t give Charlie Murphy his own show after Chappelle bolted because his True Hollywood Stories were the best skits plus there’s the whole legacy thing too. But anyways.

As for the skits, naturally they dealt with his recent enlarged bank account. The first one went long by the time he went to the IRS man. Then the payback skit was great for the first two segments but lost steam by the time he got to the dude in the wheelchair. On the other hand, the return of the whiter Chuck Taylor had me on the floor laughing, but I have a feeling those who haven’t heard the unedited version of Bring the Pain by Method Man were left scratching their heads. The clunker of the night was the Tupac is still alive sketch, a joke I beat to death about eight years ago. For the record, I think he is hanging out in Hawaii with Biggie, Elvis, and my sources tell me Ken Lay just arrived. But I digress.

For year, cable stations have repeated their shows about ten times a week, thirty for MTV. But last night showed a disturbing recent trend of showing the same episode back to back. I really never understood this, especially Rescue Me where you run the risk of turning in too soon and seeing the ending first because the show routinely runs over. Back to Chappelle’s Show, if my math is correct, there are only two more “Lost” episodes and hopefully they squeeze another Charlie Murphy True Hollywood Story because from last night’s sketches, maybe Chappelle was right in wanting to keep them in the vault considering it wasn’t the funniest thing I saw on television yesterday. Instead that award goes to this video below:

Trust the Power in My Voice

In a measure of full disclosure, I have to admit that the only reason why I gave a listen to an album by Alice Peacock is because the similarity to the name of a girl I went to high school with. When the next reunion comes around I may have to thank her because what I found on the Chicago native’s sophomore album, Who I Am were extremely refreshing songs that could be put on whenever I need time to relax. As she states in the title track, “There’s nobody else quite like me in this Wonderland.”

With softer piano based songs, the inevitable comparisons to another soothing songstress, Norah Jones, are easily heard. But Peacock does have a slight edge to here due to what seems to be a bad breakup. She doesn’t get as angry as Alanis Morissette, but the bitterness can definitely still be heard especially on Taught Me Well where she tells a former flame, “I thank my lucky stars everyday I’m not your wife.” Ouch. There is also a since of sarcasm to the opener, Different from the Rest, a song again about a past boyfriend, this one a letter to one on his wedding day thinking back to the day, “You asked me if I could tell the truth, and I said I couldn’t, that I didn’t love you.”

But Who I Am isn’t solely songs from a bitter woman. Baby Come Back is a heart wrenching plea for another chance. On the happier side of the spectrum, Runaway Day is a whimsical romp and could be a great soundtrack to a picnic. Then there’s the romantic Finding My Way that could fit on any occasion with your special one.

Another bright spot on the album is that the musicianship is always on point. Even though it is always subtle, you can tell all the musicians came in at the top of their game. The drumming on Taught Me Well is almost a march setting it up to be a something you may want to listen to while walking after getting out a bad situation. The title track on the other hand has grandeur about it with its ebb and flow.

There is also musical diversity to the album. Even though most of the songs are piano based like the staccatos of Anyone but Me, new instruments are introduced throughout the album including and acoustic guitar, strings, and even a French Horn on the soothing Sunflower. This breaks up the monotony that are the downfall of similar albums and should give you plenty hours of relaxing time listening to Alice Peacock for years to come.

Song to Download - Who I Am

Who I Am gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Oh, So Now Killing People Is a Good Time

After suffering through a chick flick last week (see She Did Not See My “A” Game), this week was more of a manly film with death, destruction, and nudity, not necessarily in that order. The Matador follows an assassin, Julian, and a business man, Danny, who have a chance meeting in Mexico City. The movie plays out like your regular odd couple with a few surprises thrown in. But when the fun south of the border ends, they both go their separate ways back to their separate worlds giving Danny what Julian calls the best cocktail party story ever.

Pierce Brosnan (Remington Steele) plays the out of touch assassin perfectly and nails every line especially the inappropriate on he delivers to Danny. There is even some extra entertainment value in seeing James Bond with graying hair, a beer gut and a cheesy mustache. And if Early Hickey has taught up anything is that mustaches are funny. As for Danny, Greg Kinnear (Talk Soup) looks like he is still trying to corner the neurotic middle age man market left by Garry Shandling, but doesn’t nearly does as good a job. Rounding out the cast is Hope Davis (nothing I’ve seen) as Danny’s wife who is basically just there. Also look out for Veronica Mars social studies teacher, Mr. Rooks, who was ousted for a little after school activity with a student as Danny’s business partner.

But the problem with The Matador is that it lags a bit at times throughout the movie, and a movie about killing people should never get boring. Then there were a couple inexplicable scenes that you just sit there and wonder why are they in the film like when Julian walks through the hotel lobby in a Speedo then jumps into the pool, alcoholic beverage in hand, only to find a shark. Was Julian just tripping? Was I tripping? There were a few scenes like this. Then the apex of the film went back to a scene earlier in the movie that I didn’t realize wasn’t resolved. They should have just done what the movie should have been in the first place, randomly killing anonymous dudes. Then this film may have been saved.

The Matador gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Don't Like Porn, Guns, I Don't Fit in This House

Like many reality shows VH1 rolls out, Supergroup didn’t really show up on my radar. But like reality shows on VH1, I seemed to catch every single minute. The premise was pretty basic and was pretty much Making the Band but with established artist. Well established artists and a dude from Biohazard. I guess there are not many marquee hard rock bass players as Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers is too busy still being relevant. Rounding out the rest of the group was Ted Nugent on lead guitar, who is always good for a one-liner my favorite being when he describe the new songs as, “so obnoxiously Ted Nugent, I may have to (expletive deleted) myself tonight.” Then there was Scott Ian of Anthrax on rhythm guitar, Jason Bonham, as in John’s son, behind the drum kit, and Sebastian Bach of Gilmore Girls fame on vocals, although they kept on mentioning some band he was apparently in before Gilmore Girls. Who knew?

Considering this was a rock group, there was plenty of sex, drugs and rock and roll, not necessarily in that order. The sex portion came when the wives arrived for a visit as the dude from Biohazard’s wife just so happens to be a porn star who convinced Mrs. Bach to join her in a pictorial. But the porn star wasn’t even the most surprising significant other as Ian just so happened to be engaged to Meatloaf. I have a feeling we may have a preview of the next VH1 reality series. And who wouldn’t want a little Anthrax on their Meatloaf?

The drugs part of the equation was interesting as the group included a member as clean as a whistle (for those who saw Ted Nugent Behind the Music will no his only addition has to do with a female species, he eats them raw like sushi), two recovering addicts, and two full on drinkers, one of which, Bach, went through a forced detox after his drinking got out of control leading to the most entertaining part of the show when the dude from Biohazard punched him.

But the real stars of the show were Valerie (who uttered this post’s title) and Jay, part of a PR team brought in to sell the band that went through names like Rawdog and Fist before settling on Damnocracy. It seemed like every one of their ideas were turned down from stylists to clothing designers and even tried to get Bach to cut his hair while the band became more disinterested with more with every suggestion. Then ever time a band member flat out told them no, they would stood they shocked, mouth open, that someone would reject their ideas. But nothing topped the look on their faces when they walking in of the wives very naked photoshoot. Who know whether there will be a second season or if that second season will be of Damnocracy or a group made up of entirely new members, but hopefully Valerie and Jay are back.

Supergroup 1.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

We on Award Tour: 2006 Emmy Nominations

If I had secondary headlines on this blog, this post’s would be, “Different Year, Same Results.” Much was made about the new nomination system for the Emmys this year where I believe all the nominators sat in a room and al watch each and every show’s entry. Yet looking through the nominations, it looks like the same old nominations with nods going to the old guard like West Wing. Will & Grace even got double digit nominations the most of any network show not named 24. I know I said this last year, and if the 9th Green was up a year before that, I would have said it then too, but seriously, Will & Grace is still on? I am now convinced that the Emmys are messing with my mind and the show really ended five years ago.

As for the former CW entities, they received a combined six nominations, two for Everybody Hates Chris (Costumes, Cinematography), Supernatural (Musical Composition, Sound Editing), Smallville (again, Sound Editing, CW will have a stranglehold on this category next year), and Reba (Cinematography). Wait seriously, Reba? No Veronica Mars, no Everwood, no Gilmore Girls, no Beauty and the Geek, but Reba gets a nod. To add more insult, even Kathy Griffin got a nomination. Okay that is officially reason number one why the new system failed, check out my analysis for many more reasons. But since I could care less about cinematography (sorry Reba), this is only an abridged list. For the excruciating long list, check out the Emmys site.


Comedy Series
Arrested Development, FOX
Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
The Office, NBC
Scrubs, NBC
Two And A Half Men, CBS

Who Will Win: Curb Your Enthusiasm
Who Should Win: Arrested Development
Should Have Been Nominated: My Name Is Earl

So I will be complaining a lot today, but here is something the Emmys actually got right, no Desperate Housewives. Best Comedy Series should go to the funniest show on TV and even though it produces a few chuckles, anyway who actually laughs during Desperate Housewives should be checked into a mental institution. Also people who should be checked into a mental institution, anyone who thinks Two and a Half Men is funnier than My Name Is Earl. Earl, also Scooter Televistion Award winner for Best Sitcom, being snubbed is reason number two why the new system failed.


Drama Series
Grey's Anatomy, ABC
House, FOX
The Sopranos, HBO
24, FOX
The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Grey’s Anatomy
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Veronica Mars

Reason number three that the new system failed, The West Wing here. All I have heard since Alan Sorkin left the show is how bad it is, yet it still gets nominated every year. And on that subject, everyone complained how much The Sopranos was down this year, yet it also gets its obligatory nomination. I’m sure a lot will be made about the omission of Lost here, but all they did was switch ABC’s big buzz show from last year to its big buzz show from this year. And much like last year this ear’s buzz show, Grey’s Anatomy will win. And hopefully like Lost this year, GA will fall off because I’ve never understood the allure of that show.


Reality-Competition Program
The Amazing Race, CBS
American Idol, FOX
Dancing With the Stars, ABC
Project Runway, Bravo
Survivor, CBS

Who Will Win: The Amazing Race
Who Should Win: Survivor
Should Have Been Nominated: Beauty and the Geek

I believe The Amazing Race has won this award every year and I doubt dudes sing karaoke will be able to change that. And Dancing the Stars gets the nod? Its has-beens and never-wills dancing. Where is the entertainment value in that? I’d take Beauty and the Geek, Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Flavor of Love over that show (or dudes singing karaoke) any day.


Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
Kevin James, The King of Queens, CBS
Tony Shalhoub, Monk, USA
Steve Carell, The Office, NBC
Charlie Sheen, Two And A Half Men, CBS

Who Will Win: Larry David
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Jason Lee - My Name Is Earl

Probably the most pathetic category this year. And who in this category grew a 70’s gay porn mustache for their craft? Even if Jason Lee just stood there doing nothing for a half an hour, he’d still be funnier than any of these nominations. Seriously, Charlie Sheen and Kevin James? Reason number three why the new system failed. I could take Tony Shalhoub in a drama category, but not here. And where’s Jason Bateman? Again, much funnier than anyone here.


Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback, HBO
Jane Kaczmarek, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures Of Old Christine, CBS
Stockard Channing, Out Of Practice, CBS
Debra Messing, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Who Should Win: Don’t Care

Okay, so I was totally wrong, this is the most pathetic category. I wasn’t even aware that Will and Grace or Malcolm in the Middle were even still on. I though The Comeback got canned a long time ago. Stockard Channing most like was just nominated because the panel though she was still on The West Wing. The sad thing is I can’t even think of someone to put in here. Jamie Pressly and Tisha Arnold are more supporting roles. But when it comes down to it, Kristen Bell is funnier than all these nominees.


Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Christopher Meloni, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC
Denis Leary, Rescue Me, FX
Peter Krause, Six Feet Under, HBO
Kiefer Sutherland, 24, FOX
Martin Sheen, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Keifer Sutherland
Who Should Win: Denis Leary

Here is possibly the only place where the new system didn’t fail with the inclusion of Denis Leary, not that he has a chance of winning. I have a feeling that Sheen will get the it’s his last season so lets give him the award treatment but since he’s nominated elsewhere, they may give him to it there. But let’s face it, Ice-T is that star of SVU and it’s a travesty that Meloni got the nod over him.


Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer, TNT
Geena Davis, Commander In Chief, ABC
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC
Francis Conroy, Six Feet Under, HBO
Allison Janney, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: Allison Janney
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Kristen Bell - Veronica Mars

There are two crimes against humanity going on in this category. To start with, and the fourth reason why the new system failed, ageism. Year after year, the over forty crowd routinely, and most of the time undeservingly, gets nominated over their younger counterpoints and the new system didn’t remedy this. Everyone should give up hope that Bell will never be nominated for Veronica Mars because the Emmys will never recognize high schoolers or people that play them. And this isn’t even solely a Veronica Mars rant, no Evangeline Lilly, no Emily Van Camp, no Eva Longoria (the only Desperate Housewife not to be nominated last year and the only one under forty), no one from Grey’s Anatomy. Maybe if Gilmore Girls is around by the time Lauren Graham gets on the wrong side of forty, she will actually get nominated. And taking up a nomination from the under forty sect, Geena Davis who just so happens to double as the union leader or something like that. Nepotism anyone?


Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Will Arnett, Arrested Development, FOX
Jeremy Piven, Entourage, HBO
Bryan Cranston, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men, CBS
Sean Hayes, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Jeremy Piven
Who Should Win: Will Arnett
Should Have Been Nominated: Doogie Houser - How I Met Your Mother

Reason number six on why the new system failed, the creator of the Lemon Law was denied. Two of the shows aren’t really on any more, then there is the inexcusable Jon Cryer nod. Those holes should have been filled by the other Arrested Development bit players David Cross and Jeffery Tambor.


Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Cheryl Hines, Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO
Alfre Woodard, Desperate Housewives, ABC
Jaime Pressly, My Name Is Earl, NBC
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds, Showtime
Megan Mullally, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Alfre Woodard
Who Should Win: Jamie Pressly
Should Have Been Nominated: Jessica Walter - Arrested Development

The only thing comical about this award would be if the only non-comedy actress actually wins it. Did Woodard actually do anything funny this year? Interesting how the show dominated the lead category last year, but this is the only nomination this year. But no female made me laugh more in the past year than Lucille #1. Well okay Pressly did, but she had twice as many episodes.


Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
William Shatner, Boston Legal, ABC
Oliver Platt, Huff, Showtime
Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos, HBO
Gregory Itzin, 24, FOX
Alan Alda, The West Wing, NBC

Who Will Win: William Shatner
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Ryan Hansen - Veronica Mars

Yet another category without any shows I watch. Should I even now who Gregory Itzin is? But there was no one more entertaining this past year than Dick Casablancas. Biggest snub of the year.


Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Candice Bergen, Boston Legal, ABC
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Blythe Danner, Huff, Showtime
Jean Smart, 24, FOX

Who Will Win: Blythe Danner
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Diane Farr - Rescue Me

Yawn, another boring category. Lost in the shuffle of switching shows, Farr got lost in the shuffle as the lone female in the firehouse.


Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Patrick Stewart, Extras, HBO
Ben Stiller, Extras, HBO
Martin Sheen, Two And A Half Men, CBS
Alec Baldwin, Will & Grace, NBC
Leslie Jordan, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Martin Sheen
Who Should Win: Ben Stiller
Should Have Been Nominated: Giovanni Ribisi - My Name Is Earl

Surprise, surprise, yet another category with shows I don’t watch. But I can’t imagine any of them were funnier than Earl’s not quite conformed old buddy Ralph.


Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Shirley Knight, Desperate Housewives, ABC
Kate Winslet, Extras, HBO
Cloris Leachman, Malcolm In The Middle, FOX
Laurie Metcalf, Monk, USA
Blythe Danner, Will & Grace, NBC

Who Will Win: Cloris Leachman
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Juliette Lewis - My Name Is Earl

Reason seven why the new system failed, did the Emmy people even watch Earl? This is really beginning to bug me.


Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Michael J. Fox, Boston Legal, ABC
Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal, ABC
James Woods, ER, NBC
Kyle Chandler, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Henry Ian Cusick, Lost, ABC

Who Will Win: James Woods
Who Should Win: James Woods
Should Have Been Nominated: Michael Emerson - Lost

I was all ready to put Henry Ian Cusick in the "Who Should Win" column thinking that was Henry Gale. But when I double checked, that dude turned out to be Desmond. These people are moron. And in my obligatory Veronica Mars plug, I’d through Harry Hamlin into this category.


Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Kate Burton, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Christina Ricci, Grey's Anatomy, ABC
Swoosie Kurtz, Huff, Showtime
Patricia Clarkson, Six Feet Under, HBO
Joanna Cassidy, Six Feet Under, HBO

Who Will Win: Swoosie Kurtz
Who Should Win: Don’t Care
Should Have Been Nominated: Lucy Lawless - Veronica Mars

Her verbal beatdown of Sheriff Lamb along should have warranted Lawless a nod.


Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program
Barry Manilow, Barry Manilow: Music And Passion, PBS
Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Comedy Central
Craig Ferguson, The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, CBS
David Letterman, Late Show With David Letterman, CBS
Hugh Jackman, The 59th Annual Tony Awards (2005), CBS

Who Will Win: Stephan Colbert
Who Should Win: David Letterman
Should Have Been Nominated: John Stewart - The Daily Show/Oscars

One of the few times didn’t screw up with Leno not being nominated this year. But Ferguson over Stewart and Conan? At least Conan has hosting the show to fall back on.


Directing for a Comedy Series
Michael Patrick King, The Comeback, (Valerie Does Another Classic Leno), HBO
Robert B. Weide, Curb Your Enthusiasm, (The Christ Nail), HBO
Dan Attias, Entourage, (Oh, Mandy), HBO
Julian Farino, Entourage, (Sundance Kids), HBO
Marc Buckland, My Name Is Earl, (Pilot), NBC
Craig Zisk, Weeds, Good S*** (Lollipop), Showtime

Who Will Win: Don’t Know
Who Should Win: Marc Buckland

I was going to delete this like every other technical category until I noticed Earl got nominate here.


Variety, Music or Comedy Series
The Colbert Report, Comedy Central
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, Comedy Central.
Late Night with Conan O'Brien, NBC, Broadway Video
Late Show with David Letterman, CBS
Real Time with Bill Maher, HBO

Who Will Win: The Daily Show
Who Should Win: The Daily Show

So what’s the difference between this category and Best Comedy Series? Technically couldn’t The Office et al also be nominated here too?


Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour)
Camp Lazlo, (Hello Dolly / Over Cooked Beans,) Cartoon Network
Family Guy, (PTV,) FOX
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, (Go Goo Go,) Cartoon Network
The Simpsons, (The Seemingly Neverending Story,) FOX
South Park, (Trapped in the Closet,) Comedy

Who Will Win: The Simpsons
Who Should Win: South Park

What’s most interesting here is the episode South Park submitted here, Trapped in the Closet also know as the episode that made Isaac Hayes leave, also know as the anti-Scientology episode. I have a feeling the South Park guys submitted this episode as a joke.


Writing for a Comedy Series
Arrested Development, (Development Arrested), Chuck Tatham, Jim Vallely, Richard Day, Mitchell Hurwitz
Entourage, (Exodus), Doug Ellin
Extras, (Kate Winslet), Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant
My Name Is Earl, (Pilot), Greg Garcia
The Office, (Christmas Party), Michael Schur

Who Will Win: The Office
Who Should Win: My Name Is Earl
Should Have Been Nominated: My Name Is Earl (Y2K)

Wow, more Earl love and there is no episode on any show that made me laugh harder this past year than its pilot episode. The Y2K episode is a distant second.


Writing for a Drama Series
Grey's Anatomy, (It's the End of the World, As We Know It (Part 1 & 2)), Shonda Rhimes
Grey's Anatomy, (Into You Like A Train), Krista Vernoff
Lost, (The 23rd Psalm), Carlton Cuse, Damon Lindelof
Six Feet Under, (Everyone's Waiting), Alan Ball
The Sopranos, (Members Only), Terence Winter

Who Will Win: Six Feet Under
Who Should Win: Lost
Should Have Been Nominated: Veronica Mars (Donut Run, Normal Is the Watchword, Not Pictured)

Odd choose of Lost episodes here with the first Eko-centric episode getting the nod. I don’t think that was even the best Eko episode. But I’d put up the trio of Veronica Mars episode against any of the other one’s nominated.



Usually I prepare what I am going to write the night before and I had an anti-Desperate Housewives being included in the Comedy categories rant already to roll, but surprisingly only one supporting nomination this year so I was unable to use it in the individual nomination analysis. But since I thought it was a good idea, I’m still going to throw it out there to the people who run the Emmys: create a new Dramedy category. Back in the eighties and earlier, most shows were strictly in either in the drama or comedy column. But in the nineties and shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ally McBeal, more and more shows are equal parts laughs and tears and have been routinely overlooked. And the addition of the category would benefit the award show because it would mean more stars to nominate. Had there been a Dramedy Series category, it may have looked something like this:

Desperate Housewives
Everybody Hates Chris
Gilmore Girls
Rescue Me
Veronica Mars

And to the Emmys people, if you do decide to use my idea, all I ask in return is to be included as one of the people that does the nominating. Oh and one of those gift bags you give out to all the presenters.

He Said “John Go Do My Will”

It’s always a touchy subject when releasing unfinished music posthumously. On one hand, you have the desire of fans to get their hands on everything an artist recorded, but on the other, you are hearing the music not necessarily the way an artist wanted you to hear it. But there is a sense of relief that the latest Johnny Cash album, American V: A Hundred Highways that Rick Rubin is at the helm just like the previous four American recording that have been recorded over the past decade. Notice I said latest, not last album as Rubin is currently working on more songs from the sessions for at least another album.

Much of this album was recorded in-between the five months between the death of his wife June and his own and the melancholy throughout the album starting with the album opener Help Me. If You Could Read My Mind is touching considering the context and even though the song isn’t about death and originally done by Gordon Lightfoot, you can’t but think he’s singing to June. As his voice starts to break at the end of song, so will your heart. But it’s not all heartache and loss as he later sings Love’s Been Good to Me.

The last song that Johnny Cash ever wrote and recorded is on this set too. Like the 309 is a bouncy song that is reminiscent of him as a young man hanging out at a train station. Oddly enough the song starts off with the line, “It should be awhile before I see Dr. Death.” As Cash recorded much of these tunes confined to a wheelchair and nearly blind, his own mortality is touched upon elsewhere on the album most notable on the Bruce Springsteen cover Further up On the Road (which was part of the 9/11 inpired The Rising album). The album closes with a rerecording of his 1962 song, I’m Free from the Chain Gang now which takes a whole new meaning after his death and now he’s free after spending his life being the voice of the voiceless and downtrodden.

If there is a downside to American V it would actually have to be Rubin. After single handedly resurrecting Cash’s career by pushing him to places he hasn’t been before musically, this album is pretty safe and sound like an album Cash would have made had he never met Rubin. The only song here that would fit on the earlier American recording is traditional gospel song God’s Gonna Cut You Down where a chorus of hand claps and foot stomps surrounds Cash’s vocals and sounds like a death march. But it’s not for Cash, instead it’s for the, “rambler, gambler, the backbiter” and all other sinners in the world. The rest of the album though sounds almost as if Rubin wanted to take the safe route in creating the music behind Cash’s previously recorded vocals as to not taint Cash’s legacy in turn making them afterthoughts in the Cash musical vault. But with that said, Johnny Cash afterthoughts are still better than ninety-five percent of the music made today.

Song to Download - God’s Gonna Cut You Down

American V: A Hundred Highways gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You're Like Rich-Dude Kryptonite, Veronica

Over last summer, after Veronica Mars finished up, I really wasn’t wondering lad to behind the door that Ronnie was glad to see, instead I was thinking of how they could keep up the intensity of the first season going into the second. Both season long arcs, with Veronica trying to figure out who raped her and more importantly who killed her best friend, Lilly Kane, were very personal to her and you know she wouldn’t stop until she got her answers.

But my worries quickly went away with the second season premiere that rivaled the entertainment value of anything in the first season that came to the crescendo as Ashes started to swell up at the end with Veronica, riding on the back of Weevil’s bike, rode up to the scene where the bus she was supposed to be on went over a cliff. Adding to the guilt of that should have been her, the lone 09’er stood by her last year, Meg, who just happened to be upset with her for stealing her boyfriend, happened to be on the bus. And I’m not sure that Meg being the lone survivor, and by survivor I mean she needed a machine to breathe, maybe even upped the guilt factor.

In the first episode we also met Butters and Gia, who would show up periodically during the second season. Both of which grew on me as the season progressed and both shined in the third to last episode with Gia’s various monologues about her stalker and Butters in the elevator up to the alterna-prom. Hopefully both of them cross Ronnie’s path during season three. Oddly missing in the first episode was the newest cast member, Jackie Cook, even though even her father showed up in the opener having an argument with Mayor Goodwood. An argument I don’t think we ever really figured out was about.

As for the other major arc this season, this one really had more to do with Logan and how he dealt with it than anything. Not that Logan originally really cared about finding out who the real killer of Felix was, just that he beat the wrap. But once the witness came forward, it came clear that Logan would have to find out who was behind it if he wanted to clear his name. To do this he had to team out with his arch nemesis, Weevil who also wanted to know who really killed his number two. This unusual pairing lead to one of the best lines in the series when Veronica devised that the two were in cahoots prompting Vee to asked “do either of you have any experience being a horse’s ass?”

This storyline lost some steam near the end as it became apparent that it was either the Fitzpatrick’s or Thumper, only to find out it was both were involved with a few episodes still left in the season. But this gave Weevil time to plan his revenge on the PCH turncoat and poetically it was Logan who carried that out when he set off the trigger that imploded Shark Stadium where Thumper was in. But it looks like this will carry into next season as Lamb, in his biggest heartless act of the series besides blowing off Veronica’s rape allegations and listening to Big and Rich, picked the inappropriate time of graduation to arrested Weevil for the crime.

Throughout the season we met many suspects that you look at and think, yeah, dude’s psycho enough to blow up a bus full of high schooler including Mayor Goodwood, evil Indians, Not-So-Lucky, Papa Manning, Big Dick, and the Fighting Fitzpatrick’s. Even last season’s big bad, Aaron Echolls looked like a potential candidate via a proxy. But in the end it was Evil Beaver who did the deed to keep his dirty little secret that Mayor Goodwood touched his, um, Goodwood. I still don’t really buy the Evil Beaver doing I because even in his despair, I don’t see him killing innocents especially Meg. I’d be nice to think that Beaver would at least try to convince her to take the limo.

But unlike other shows where a bad reveal would ruin an episode, if not the entire season or show, the finale, along with the whole second season remained thoroughly entertaining. Part of this is due to the excellent addition of Dick Casablancas to the cast. You know whenever Little Dick came across the screen, there was going to be a great one-line, including my favorite, “sometimes you don’t need the prettiest house, just one that will let you ride horseback.” (Sadly no one has complied all of them together for YouTube yet.) Who can forget when he not so subtly looked down Vee’s dress at the alterna-prom. And even though he makes for a good t-shirt, Dick himself was always seen sporting great ones of his own (I have candy). Hopefully Dick isn’t to depressed next season over Beaver’s death so he can deliver more one-liners and maybe he will even get Ronnie drunk enough to hook up with him.

Granted you can trace Dick’s greatness back to the writers who feed him the great one-liners. They are really the MVP’s of the show who can keep it entertaining even when they rehash older mystery of the week (more dead dogs) and guest stars that have no acting training (the chick from Laguna Beach). Even with the disappointment of the Evil Beaver reveil, the Aaron Echolls death scene (which could possibly have been the best death scene of the year) more than made up for it, then throw in Dick slapping Ronnie’s butt and it quickly turned into the best finale of the season. Thanks to the writers there was not a throwaway episode this season or for the whole series for that matter. Can you say that about any other show?

And even though I’m against acting awards because I believe most good acting is devised from the page (hey, even I was able to win an acting award) it’s obvious that Kristen Bell is one of few great actors today. She easily goes from snarky to emotional without missing a beat or being overdramatic like some of her contemporaries (i.e. the lead in a certain series created by a guest star this season). And she never takes a scene off even when she is not the focal point like when she’s hiding her face behind her hair while talking Hearst College with Wallace. A lot has been made of this new Emmy voting system so hopefully the voters can look beyond the sixth rate network and high school drama façade and not just relegate Bell to the Emmy Idol this year. But if they do, may I suggest she do The Facts of Life theme this year.


Unlike last year, there were quite a few unanswered questions at the end of this season (feel free to add any I left out in the comment section):

What were Terrence Cook and Mayor Goodwood arguing about?

Why did Lamb’s dad say the same thing that Mr. Manning said when Lamb went to check out Grace’s closet?

Who is Sally and why could Beaver hang her over Dick?

How and more importantly why did Not-Kendal and Logan hook up?

What happened to the dude the presumable killed Amelia Delongpre that Clarence Wiedman said he’d take care off? Did he go “CW” on him?

Why did Mayor Goodwood tell his daughter not to take the bus back to school?

Who leaked to the press that Terrence threw a baseball game?

When will Ronnie start sporting an “I (Heart) Dick” t-shirt?

Now that her husband isn’t around, will Logan’s mom come out of hiding or at the very least wash to shore?

And of course, what’s in Not-Kendal’s briefcase? (Am I too simple minded to think it’s just money, lots and lots of money?

Veronica Mars 2.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. It also won six STA's.





In related Veronica Mars news, some of the cast will be holding a Q&A session this year at Comic Con in San Diego. Yeah, I don’t know what the comic connection is with the show, but it is at very least a chance to ask the questions above. The panel will take place Saturday July 22nd from 4:30 to 5:30 and will include Creator Rob Thomas and stars Kristen Bell, Jason Dohring, Enrico Colantoni, Francis Capra, Ryan Hansen, and Michael Muhney are all scheduled to appear. The panel will be moderated by some dude from TVGuide.com.

Unfortunately I am, what the government considers poor so it looks as if I won’t be able to attend to grill Rob Thomas one more time. Although if the readers of the 9th Green chipped in, maybe I could make an appearance. So if you have and extra dollar to spare, well, donate it to one of the worthy charities on my sidebar or Ducky’s AIDS Ride. But if you have two extra dollars to spare, give one to the worthy charities and the other to the Scooter McGavin is Poor Fund. Where’s Warren Buffet when you need him?

And on a bookkeeping note, due to the impending holiday, there will be no new posts until the fifth when I may bring you the last album (at least of new material) of one of my personal favorite artists and maybe a review of one of my summer guilty pleasures.

Memories Like Fingerprints Are Slowly Raising

If the MTV Unplugged series is the best music show devised for television, then VH1 Storytellers is a close second. But both have become sporadic at best with only Alicia Keys getting the Unplugged treatment recently and Storytellers only produced three shows last year and is airing the first one of this year tonight starring Pearl Jam. It should be interesting the stories the band tells after being in hibernation for about a decade, but at the very least the performances will be solid and hopefully top heavy of earlier albums.

In honor of their performance tonight, it seems apropos that I induct one of their albums into the Scooter Hall of Fame this month and for my money Vs. is the pinnacle of their career. Ten was a great debut, but was bogged down by the grunge sound at times while Vitology had some better songs, but it was also a decent into lunacy with songs like Bugs and the closing “song.” But it is Vs. where everything came together, expanding on the grunge sound, to make the best album of their career.

Vs. starts out with the one-two punch of Go and Animal, two songs that, if they can’t get your blood pumping, nothing will. But the band quickly showed their growth next with Daughter where they were able to slow things down without going into the power ballad cliché. The musicianship really shines through on the song and I love the ambiguity of the lyrics with the booklet saying the line in “violins (ence).” Granted intelligibility of Eddie Vedder doesn’t work because for a long time I thought he was saying “a glorified version of a pelican.”

Dissident features one of the best riffs the band has come up with making you wonder how the duel attack of Stone Gossard and Mike McCready are always absent from best guitarist list, but that may be the answer, that there is two of them. The band takes a complete left turn on W.M.A. with its percussion and bass heavy song about police brutality and still has yet come close to creating another song like it which is somewhat of a same. Rats may not have been the best song on the album, but you got to love the Michael Jackson shoutout at the end.

Near the end of the album are two of my favorite Pearl Jam songs starting with the pulsing Rearviewmirror. I remember after getting my license a few years later and I loved playing this song at night in the summer on a country road with the windows down as each passing headlight telling a different story as the song made a perfect soundtrack. There was just a sense of optimism to the song. On the other hand Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town took a much more subtle approach and after two albums filled with doom and gloom, the song was a refreshing breath of clarity and simplicity and could be my favorite Pearl Jam song not titled Betterman.

The album ends with the haunting Indifferent, yet another chance the band took and the line, “I’ll swallow poison until I grow immune” still sends a chill down my spine to this day. The diversity and the and all the successful risks the band took on Vs. makes it a welcome addition to the SHoF. And yes, I do have one of the copies of the CD without the title on it. (If you remember, the band did have a name for the album when it when to print, so the first shipment went out without Vs. appearing on the album anywhere.)

She Did Not See My “A” Game

During yesterday’s post, I slipped in that Jerry Maguire was one of the few chick flicks that guys can actually enjoy because it had football for us to focus on. As for chick flicks, that’s pretty much the list except for one caveat; oddly enough John Cusack who has somehow make a career out of making watchable romantic comedies from hoisting up the jukebox in Say Anything all the way up to one of the best movies of the past ten years, High Fidelity.

Cusack’s latest entry into the genre is Must Love Dogs, a movie centered on what seems to be a booming business, internet dating. Both Cusack and his female counterpart, Diane Lane, are recently divorced yet not ready to get back into the game. But thanks to some nosey family members and an over-sex lawyer, both inadvertently make into the world of on-line dating. Sadly that’s where the hilarity stops.

The start of the movie starts off with a few chucklers and looks to be focused on the two main characters as they are forced to get back on the horse. But once the internet profile is set up, it quickly turns into Lane’s movie and Cusack wrongly takes a back seat. At this point the movie is rarely romantic or comedic, which is never good for a film that is supposed to be in the genre. Speaking of underused, Stockard Channing is grossly underused as one of Lane’s father’s girlfriends. Much like the Cusack character, Channing’s looked as if they had a bigger part for it, but never got around to fleshing it out.

Plenty of romantic comedy cliché about most notably the obligatory spontaneous break out into song scene. Ironically enough Dermot Mulroney, who may have started this cliché in My Best Friend’s Wedding, is involved in the scene and adds to the insainity of the premise by rushing to the piano to accompany the singing. And what mobile home doesn’t have a piano? The biggest fraud of this movie hough is that not only did neither main character actually own a dog; Snoop Doggy Dogg didn’t even appear in the movie. What a shame.

Must Love Dogs gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

You Can Tell Everybody This Is Your Song

In a story I broke here, I went to a wedding this weekend. That really isn’t of note because it basically like every wedding I’ve ever been too. Well except that I got a little slack for not giving a wedding gift. Am I wrong to think that you should only have to buy someone only one wedding present in their lifetime no matter how many times they remarry? But anyways. Last summer Wedding Crashers did a very good job mocking weddings, although the crashers would have been wise to skip this wedding as all the bridesmaids were married and the only available chicks there were more like to be flower girls than bridesmaids.

As great as Wedding Crashers was as poking fun at the event, it did miss a couple key wedding events first and foremost how every wedding DJ plays the exact same playlist which hasn’t been updated in a decade or so. I think the only song they played that has been released since I hit puberty was some hillbilly song about riding horses and/or cowboys that successfully dropped my IQ a couple points by listening to it. I only know it was a fairly new song because my sister, my hillbilly music expert, informed me of this. But back on topic, it’s like wedding DJ’s haven’t picked up any new music since the advent of the CD. Granted I had to chuckle when he put on Shout (Parts 1& 2) because of the scene in Wedding Crashers. Too bad there were not any unattached chicks there that wouldn’t have been carded at the bar to reenact that scene. Oh well.

But the real genesis of this post is another aspect of a wedding that the movie sadly didn’t address was the first dance song. Now I wrote a dissertation back in college stating that “Your Song” has a direct correlation to divorce. If “Your Song” is I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith, don’t expect to be getting to the bronze anniversary. Also if you are a dude and you get stuck with “Your Song” that was written by Diane Warren, it’s time for your man card to be revoked. It doesn’t bode well for this bride that for the second time had a hillbilly song as “Their Song.” It may have actually been the same song, but I can’t be for certain as all hillbilly songs start to sound alike after a while.

Unfortunately you cannot just declare “Your Song” because it has to happen organically and must be mutually agreed upon without actually being discussed. This usually happens at a romantic interlude, in high school this is typically during your first kiss during a slow dance at Homecoming. Although if you are high school sweethearts you do run the risk of having some pretty cheesy songs being played and no one want I Swear by All 4 One following them ten years later. Them there are the people that miss interoperate song. I don’t know how many weddings I been to in the past decade that have had Crash into Me by the Dave Matthews Band as the first dance not knowing that the song is in the point of view of a stalker. Okay, if you meet your future husband lurking outside your window, the song may fit, but everyone else you may want to find something else.

Since I’m long past the awkward high school dance phase, it is a little easier to set up an organic moment for “Your Song.” And here are some of the songs on the top of my list to use during those situations (in no particular order):

Your Song (Elton John) - Yeah it’s the archetypical “Your Song,” but it’s old enough that not many people will be using it as they all go for Your Body Is a Wonderland if they’ve outgrown Crash into Me.

Have a Little Faith in Me (John Hiatt) - Quite possible the most romantic song ever written, and currently on the top of my list potential “Your Songs.” If Hiatt’s a little too obscure for you, you can also check out versions by Joe Cocker, Jewel, or Mandy Moore.

Every Time I Close My Eyes (Babyface) - Another oldie but goodie, this time from my formative years, back when R&B was good babymaking music. Granted back then there wasn’t many chances fore babymaking back then, but isn’t that what the wedding night for? Then throw in some Mariah Carey and Kenny G for the ladies and it’s like the Jerry Mcguire of music (both dudes and chicks can enjoy).

I Believe (When I Fall in Love it Will Be Forever) (Stevie Wonder) - If Have a Little Faith in Me is the most romantic song ever written, this runs a close second. And High Fidelity has no barring on this song being on this list (okay, maybe a little).

Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own (U2) - Maybe not the most romantic song on the list being that the song is about Bono’s dad, but no one is better at songs about relationships and the song’s theme is a great way to start any relationship especially the marriage kind.

‘Til Kingdom Come (Coldplay) - Kind of obscure as it was stuck in the back of their last album as a not so hidden track. The one drawback is that it doesn’t have a very danceable quality so it hinders its first dance appeal. But say if you are musically inclined and can rework the song and slow it down for that very purpose, it would definitely score extra points for you.


This is in no way a definitive list, just some songs that have popped into my head, so feel free to add your own in the comment section or tell me of a song that has worked for you.