57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXVII

Chuck: A lot of pretty big plot holes in this episode. Like who lets the bad guy get out of the museum to get back to The Ring intersanctum (which looked a lot like that of Fulcram) to mention that Shaw was still alive. And after all the fuss Hannah made about Chuck leaving her at the museum to hang out with his ex-girlfriend, how did she not see Sarah about a hundred feet away the second time around? And I was half expecting when Sarah told Chuck she had a type: hero, that Chuck didn’t respond, “if you didn’t notice I have a type too: brunettes.” Come to think of it, I really need to get Zach Levi to hook me up with the devil because I would mind trading in my soul to hook up with Rachel Bilson, Jordana Bewster, Kristin Kruek, and Yvonne Strahovski in succession. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Throughout the four and a half seasons of the show, Barney has come up with some ingenious plans to hook up with chick, but all of them pale in comparison of giving out his phone number at the Super Bowl. Too bad it turned out to be more than he could handle. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Hopefully this episode extends into the next one because I wouldn’t mind a full thirty minutes of Sheldon and Penny being sick together, singing soft kitty to each other. You can download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Greek: What was with all the protective gear by the umpires and catchers? It was only slow pitch. As a former umpire, I was embarrassed. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Castle: Of course the Devil did it. It was just a matter of how or why once I saw him. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes. Also be sure to check out my chat with Stana Katic.

Lost: So Sayid is infected like Jack’s sister and presumably Rousseau’s team. But even though the time for questions is over, I have wonder how does one get infected? Rousseau’s team had contact with Smokey and Claire did with her father (who I think may have been Smokey in disguise) but how does that explain Sayid unless Smokey is the one that tainted the spring. I was completely wrong with Claire not being pregnant and naturally it was delivered by Ethan Rom Goodspeed. Alrighty. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Modern Family: Did no one think to cut the belt strap on the coat? And too bad we didn’t get a full Valentine’s date from Dylan and Haley. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Leverage: It is always good to see Sterling because if there is one thing the show needs is a constant antagonist and he is really good at it. And with all the twist and turns of this episode, there are many more in the season finale next week and one doozy of a cliffhanger. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Leverage on iTunes.

Community: The show really needs to watch it when it goes too far overboard with the pop culture references. It may benefit the show if Abed transfers next year so they do not have to lean on the crutch. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Also check out my First Impression of Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains.

Best of the Week vol. XXXIII

Quote of the Week: Given that Saint Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder? (Sheldon – The Big Bang Theory)

Song of the Week: Morning Mood (from Peer Gynt Suite No. 1, op. 46) – Edvard Grieg (as performed by Sheldon on recorder, The Big Bang Theory)

Big News of the Week: The Start of the Winter Olympics: And it didn’t really start a high note with the death of a Georgian luger and it didn’t help that NBC showed the video multiple time. You just have to wonder why they have metal beams that close to the track and if so, why no padding on them

The Opening Ceremonies also saw the premiere of We Are the World 25 which I thought was an idiot proof, but they somehow were able to ruin it. You know it is not a good sign when they start it off with some twelve year old no name followed by a Pussycat Doll. And Lil’ Wayne singing? Seriously? It also didn’t help that the chorus sounded off key. It may have just been better if they just re-released the original.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: The High Road – Broken Bells (iTunes): I mentioned the video earlier this week and now you can download the early frontrunner of Best Song of 2010. But if you also want to get in the mood for Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I suggest Cupid by Boyz II Men over at Wallmart.com and 40 Dogs (Like Romeo and Juliet) by Bob Schneider over at Amazon MP3.

Deal of the Week: Mega Savings on Mega Hits (The A-Team, Inglourious Bastards, Back to the Future)

Video of the Week: Parenthood premieres Tuesday after the Olympics and may have the most likeable cast on television (hopefully the writing lives up to the acting). One of them is Monica Potter who describes her character below.

Inside Christina


Next Week Pick of the Week: Tool Academy, Sunday at 9:00 on VH1: Very few thing can draw me away from Olympic competition(although Curling doesn’t start up until Tuesday) and the new season of Tool Academy. Of course the show made news in-between seasons when a former contestant was one of the cast of Ben Hur to turn out to have slept with Tiger Wood. The new season boasts the first two female Tools and a same sex couple. Though looking over the cast pictures, it is not clear who that is considering metrosexuals are a Tool Academy staple.

First Impressions: Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains

Being an anniversary season, Survivor’s twentieth, it is time to bring back some familiar faces even if Survivor All-Stars goes down as the worst season ever (well, either that or Thailand) and Fans vs. Favorites isn’t that far behind. Yet when Heroes vs. Villains was announced I was cautiously optimistic. The four tribe approach of All-Stars hurt strategic play and strong alliance building as everyone just voted out the winners first. And the season had more quitters that the previous seasons combined.

Looking over the rosters of the new seasons, it looks to be filled with contestants that would have to be voted off or dragged off by the medical team to get them off the island as shown by the first challenge with doctors being called in twice to set the shoulder of Stephenie LaGrossa and splint the toe of Rupert Boneham which was broke in multiple places. Those Villains sure lived up to their name. Although you have to wonder about how Jessica “Sugar” Kiper made it onto the Heroes after giving a topless two finger salute to the other team after winning her round.

What makes Heroes vs. Villains on paper better than the first All-Star season is the splitting tribes into two specific groups with all the schemers and backstabbers who would do anything to win on one side. On the other, you have the contestants that mostly got asked back by hard work and perseverance and not stepping on people’s backs to get them there. So on the Heroes side, who will be the first to make that first strategic move that will blindside a tribe mate (as no one was last night because for all the talk from Tom Westman and Cirie Fields of making that move at the first tribal council, the tribe still went with the easy choice of Sugar).

Then on the Villains side, who can adapt because everyone else has seen them before and know their trick. Although, did Samoa not air before Heroes vs. Villains because Russell pulled the same align with ever girl he did on his season, except this season looks to be trading brunettes for blondes this time around. Another problem with the Villains, whereas every guy on the Heroes wants to be the Alpha Male, it looks like no one wants to step up and assume that leadership role on the Villains, with “Boston” Rob Mariano only stepping up to make fire, but from the promo, it doesn’t look like he may stay on the island very long.

With all that said, it is extremely hard to give anyone the edge to win it all which should make for an interesting season so I will stick with my preseason pick of Stephenie LaGrossa. But I will be rooting for the Heroes all the way as well as Danielle DiLorenzo, who topped my list of The Hottest Token Hot Chicks of Survivor Ever, individually. And while talking about list, also check out The 25 Greatest Survivor Contestants Ever.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains airs Thursdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download Survivor on iTunes.

The Greatest Survivor Contestants Ever

Tonight sees the premiere of the second full All-Star season of Survivor where they are splitting the best into Heroes vs. Villains. Over the twenty seasons of Survivor, there have been 303 different contestants that have tried to Outwit, Outplay, and Outlast each other. So in honor of the anniversary I rounded up a few of my buddies, Dan from TiFaux, Kim from TV Screener, Vance from Tapeworthy, and my resident Survivor fanatic Doug to figure out who is the Greatest Survivor Contestant of All Time. Well, at least who fills the slots two to twenty-five because of course it was the original winner Richard Hatch who was the unanimous number one. So here are the other twenty-four we came up with (note: the “w” denotes the winner that season):

1. Richard Hatch – Borneo (w) / All-Stars

2. Russell Hantz – Samoa / Heroes vs. Villains

3. Rob Mariano - Marquesas / All-Stars / Heroes vs. Villains

4. Rob Cesterniro - The Amazon / All-Stars

5. Tom Westman – Palau (w) / Heroes vs. Villains

6. Todd Herzog – China (w)

7. Yau-Man Chan - Fiji / Micronesia

8. Amanda Kimmel - China / Micronesia / Heroes vs. Villains

9. Yul Kwon - Cook Islands (w)

10. Stephen Fishbach - Tocantins

11. Rudy Boesch - Borneo / All-Stars

12. Jenna Morasca - The Amazon (w) / All-Stars

13. Sandra Diaz-Twine - Pearl Islands (w) / Heroes vs. Villains

14. Stephanie LaGrossa - Palau / Guatemala / Heroes vs. Villains

15. Chris Daugherty – Vanuatu (w)

16. Tom Buchanan - Africa / All-Stars

17. Lex van de Berghe - Africa / All-Stars

18. Rupert Boneham - Pearl Islands / All-Stars / Heroes vs. Villains

19. Colby Donaldson - Australian Outback / All-Stars / Heroes vs. Villains

20. Parvati Shallow - Cook Islands / Micronesia (w) / Heroes vs. Villains

21. Cirie Fields - Exile Island / Heroes vs. Villains

22. Kathy Vavrick-O'Brian - Marquesas / All-Stars

23. Ethan Zohn – Africa (w) / All-Stars

24. Bob Crowley – Gabon (w)

25. Ken Huang - Gabon


And for those wondering who are my favorite Survivors of all time, here is my list which I took a mix of the greatest strategists and the most entertaining throughout the last decade:

1. Richard Hatch – Borneo (w) / All-Stars

2. Rudy Boesch - Borneo / All-Stars

3. Jenna Morasca - The Amazon (w) / All-Stars

4. Russell Hantz – Samoa / Heroes vs. Villains

5. Tom Buchanan - Africa / All-Stars

6. Parvati Shallow - Cook Islands / Micronesia (w) / Heroes vs. Villains

7. Stephen Fishbach - Tocantins

8. Bob Crowley – Gabon (w)

9. Rob Cesterniro - The Amazon / All-Stars

10. Amanda Kimmel - China / Micronesia / Heroes vs. Villains

11. J.T. Thomas Jr. – Tocantins (w) / Heroes vs. Villains

12. Colby Donaldson - Australian Outback / All-Stars / Heroes vs. Villains

13. James Clement - China / Micronesia / Heroes vs. Villains

14. Ethan Zohn - Africa (w) / All-Stars

15. Rupert Boneham - Pearl Islands / All-Stars / Heroes vs. Villains

16. Yau-Man Chan - Fiji / Micronesia

17. Brandon Quinton - Africa

18. Earl Cole – Fiji (w)

19. Danielle DiLorenzo - Exile Island / Heroes vs. Villains

20. Cirie Fields - Exile Island / Heroes vs. Villains

21. Natalie White - Samoa

22. Todd Herzog – China (w)

23. Stephanie LaGrossa - Palau / Guatemala / Heroes vs. Villains

24. Yul Kwon – Cook Island (w)

25. Ken Huang – Gabon


Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains airs Thursdays at 8:00 on CBS. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download Survivor on iTunes.

Around the Tubes vol. XXXVIII

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Bill Maher… But I’m Not Wrong, The Ricky Gervais Show, The Lifeand Times of Tim, Funny or Die Presents, Parenthood, Weeds, Traveler’s Guide to the Planets, Stealth Fighter, Tyrannosaurus Sex, and Jay Leno.

- Those with HBO and in need of a laugh will want to tune into the channel this Saturday when it will air Bill Maher… But I’m Not Wrong live at 10:00 with topics ranging from Michael Jackson and of course politics just six days before Real Time returns for a new season. Want even more funny on the channel? Tune in February 19 as The Ricky Gervais Show, an animated version of his podcast, premieres at 9:00 followed by The Life and Times of Tim at 9:30. Then at midnight there will be Funny or Die Presents featuring the best of the internet site.

- In other HBO news, March 14 sees the premiere of The Pacific from Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg and Gary Goetzman i.e. the guys behind the great Band of Brothers miniseries. The promo below is listed as Super Bowl Trailer, but I do not remember seeing it. If you didn’t either, here it is now.

Super Bowl Spot

- If you have watched NBC recently, you have seen the Parenthood Is campaign promoting the new show. Now you get into the action for a good cause for defining Parenthood yourself. If you do, NBC will donate $20 to The Boys and Girls Club of America. There are two ways to do so, by Twitter; all fans have to do to submit is to use the hashtag #parenthoodis, followed by their personal definition or explanation. Or you can upload a 20 second video to theparenthoodproject.com with your definition. While at the website, you can see videos from Joel McHale, Amy Poehler and Lauren Graham as they define Parenthood.

- The University of Andy (as in Botwin of Weeds) is reopening just in time for valentine’s Day so for those that had resigned to spending the day alone watching the season premiere of Tool Academy will want to head over to universityofandy.com to enroll in his Valentine’s Day course to help you find someone to watch Tool Academy with.

- For those who do not want to watch the previously mentioned Tool Academy, The National Geographic Channel is doing a little counter programming with a Traveler’s Guide to the Planets this Sunday with Saturn at 9:00 followed by Jupiter at 10:00. Then Monday sees Mars at 9:00 and Venus and Mercury get combined at 10:00. Tuesday brings Neptune and Uranus at 9:00 and even though it was recently demoted, Pluto (and Beyond) gets its own episode at 10:00. To get ready for the three day event, head over to NationalGeographic.com for an interactive tour of the solar system.

- On the National Geographic Channel tonight is the latest episode of Stealth Fighter. Here is a preview:

Super Human Ninja Girl


- Need more Valentine’s Day options on television? How about Tyrannosaurus Sex (no seriously, that is the title) at 10:00 on Discovery. Just as the title may suggested, the special uses CGI to just how the dinosaurs may have wooed each other. Naturally, it is intended for mature audiences only.

- Were you scratching your head like me at Jay Leno showing up to David Letterman’s worst Super Bowl party ever on how it happened. Here is Jay explaining how it came about below. Also, anyone interested in attending Jay’s return to The Tonight Show should head over to his Facebook page.

Jay’s Super Bowl Ad

I Want My Music Television vol. LXXIII

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby) - Jedward & Vanilla Ice



So let me get this straight: Justin Timberlake grows the Buster Poindexter poof, clones himself, and then somehow convinces Vanilla Ice to perform a song he hates that is mashed up with a song he got sued for stealing. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 10’s and something called Jedward.


The High Road - Broken Bells



I remember when I heard Danger Mouse was hooking up with the dude from The Shins and I thought to myself, “Um, can he just do another Gnarls Barkley album instead.” After perfecting the mash up (The Grey Album) and the pop song (Crazy), I thought his streak would end with teaming up with an indie rocker. If their first single is any indication, I was completely wrong and personally cannot wait to hear more. And where Gnarls Barkley was deceptively dark, there is not hiding it with Broken Bells down to the David Lynchian video.


Temporary Home - Carrie Underwood



Maybe not very coincidental that Carrie underwood breaks out her acting chops in a video just before she land actual acting job like in an upcoming episode of How I Met Your Mother. Well, at least judging from this video she is at the very least a better actress than Megan Fox.


Written in Reverse - Spoon

Nothing that special about the new Written In Reverse - Transference video, I am just digging the song right now.

Super Bowl Shuffle 2010

Remember back when people would watch the Super Bowl for the commercials because the game itself was usually over by halftime? Luckily as the ads took a creative dip in recent years, the game has been thrilling thanks to David Tyree’s helmet, Pittsburg / Arizona’s dueling fourth quarter comebacks, and this year’s Peyton Manning’s interception.

Even though MVP’s always go to players, this year should have went to Sean Payton. The on-side kick out of half time is the gustiest play ever in the history of the Super Bowl. (Keep in mind had they missed it and they lost, added to the not making a fourth a goal play, he would have been killed by the talking heads today worse than they did Bill Belichicken when he went for it on fourth down against the Colts earlier this season.) But I almost feel bad for the Colts fan because just as they talk themselves back on the bandwagon after their team quit on a perfect season, they end up losing. And I could tell they were going to lose when they trotted out Matt Stover, the guy is so old he is an ex-Brown. And by ex-Brown, he was on the team when they were unceremoniously stolen from Cleveland.

As for this year’s commercials: eh. The NFL needs to put a stop to GoDaddy’s “Too Hot for TV” ads. Someone at Doritos’s needs to be fired along with whoever thought spending two million taxpayer dollars on a census ad featuring Ed Begley Jr. And it isn’t a good sign for movies this year when the best trailer was for a video game (Dante’s Inferno). But there were some interesting one, here is my top 10:

1. House of Cans (Bud Light)
2. You Play Like Betty White (Snickers)
3. Worst Super Bowl Party Ever (Late Show with David Letterman)
4. Stevie Wonder Punch (Volkswagen)
5. Timothy Richmond (Cars.com)
6. Punxsutawney Palamalu (NFL Full Contact [note: this is only because I can mock Steelers fan because of it])
7. Green Police (Audi)
8. Vacation (Homeandaway.com)
9. Robot (Intel)
10. Free Grand Slam (Denny’s)

And since there was an overabundance of clunkers, here were the biggest waste of two million dollars:

1. Funeral (Doritos)
2. Megan Fox (Motarola)
3. Auto-Tune (Bud Light)
4. Gym Stealing (Doritos)
5. Casual Friday (CareerBulider.com)
6. Census
7. Sumo (KGB [seriously who names a product KGB?])
8. Anti-Bark (Doritos)
9. Too Hot (GoDaddy)
10. Tim Tebow (Focusonthefamily.com)

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXVI

Chuck: If Morgan defiles Lana Lang I will have to boycott Chuck forever. Hopefully her letting it slip that Chuck went to Paris will have him distracted for awhile. Speaking of which I would worry about the Buy Morons from figuring out his secret but with Ellie helping out and Captain Awesome as the weak link, Ellie might get it out of him. Hopefully Chuck can do something to throw them off his trail because I do not like the idea of everyone finding out his secret. Well, I wouldn’t mind Morgan figuring it out so the CIA ships him off to Hawaii with Harry Tang never to be seen again. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: I really do not like it when the show goes to flashbacks inside of flashbacks inside of flashbacks, but this episodes may be the best of the season so far with Barney going on the search of the Perfect Week. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: As good as the episode was, how could the writers not have realized how great it would have been had Sheldon had been working with Penny for most of the episode? You can download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Greek: So Casey confesses to burning down a house and nothing is going to happen to her because the house she burnt down housed someone who sold sex to win a singing competition. Alrighty. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Mercy: How does one play basketball in weather where you can see your breath? Shouldn’t the air inside expand in the cold causing weird bumps on the surface of the ball. Maybe this is a case for Mythbusters. And can they go ahead and bump James Van der Beek off the show sooner than later. Dude got painfully annoying quick. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Mercy on iTunes.

Modern Family: I would like to state for the record that I was a racquetball champion back in college. But luckily no moon landings or splash downs in the locker room. And though I can barely tolerate Phil, his bit with Dylan playing In the Moonlight (Do Me) at the end was pretty funny. Can we please add Dylan to the cast? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains: I wish they would have included more people commenting on the series. Like how can you talk about Michael falling into the fire without getting the firsthand account from Michael himself? But it was nice to see the battle of the egos between Russell and Richard. Too bad Richard was too much of a villain off the show that kept him from competing against Russell. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Community: The best part of the episode is that Senior Chang has nothing better to do that hang out in a bean bag in a dorm room of a student watching crappy movies. Although I was disappointed we didn’t get to find out what Jeff told Troy about Annie that got him to come on to her. Maybe he told him to Google the pictures from her Complex photo shoot. You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

You can also check out my First Impressions of Lost the Final Season.

Best of the Week vol. XXXII

Quote of the Week: Just like Bartowski, bring a knife to a gun fight. (Casey, Chuck)

Song of the Week: One Night in Bangkok – Murray Head (The Big Bang Theory)

Big News of the Week: Lost Returns for the Last Time: And surprisingly I excited about the show for the first time since season one. Of course this may have something to do with me taking five minutes to figure out how Lost will end (if you are interested to know too, check out First Impressions: Lost the Final Season). And much of the discussion is about the dueling timelines which apparently have been dubbed “flashsideways.” Speaking of my orginal post on the Lost season premiere, naturally I left a few things out in my rush of posting it, and I forgot my way out there theory of the week in that Claire is no longer pregnant (we conspicuously never see her belly when Kate hijacks her cab). I am also beginning to think that Christian Sheppard is not a conduit of Jacob as he would like us to believe but was actually, Smokey / Fake Locke / Richard Hatch all along using the name of Jacob to put into action his masterplan.



Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: Choclate Chip – Isaac Hayes (Walmart.com)

Deal of the Week: Save on TV Show Favorites (Friday Night Lights, Kings, Bionic Woman)

Video of the Week: Remember about a year ago there was a special hosted on all the major networks (sans Fox) called Stand Up 2 Cancer? Well the non-profit is still going and has recruited none other than Sheldon Cooper’s alter ego Jim Parsons to show that everyone can make a difference when it comes to fighting the disease.

Up2 You + Me


Next Week Pick of the Week: Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, Thursday at 8:00 on CBS: I hated Survivor: All Stars and when they brought people back for Fans vs. Favorites, it wasn’t much better. Yet I am actually looking forward Heroes vs. Villains (an idea they stole from the Real World / Road Rules Challenge) and they divide up all the devious players from those with a stronger moral compass. Although some odd choices like Candice Woodcock who deserted her tribe as a hero and I am not entirely remember what qualifies Danielle DiLorenzo (who topped my list of The Hottest Token Hot Chicks of Survivor list) and Sandra Diaz-Twine as villains. Be on look out later this week for more Survivor content to get ready for the new season. As a preseason prediction, I will say Stephenie LaGrossa.

Around the Tubes vol. XXXVII

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on NFL Full Contact, Parenthood, Caprica, and FX Movies.

- It was a hard season for us Browns fans and really the only thing that us threw was the hilarious Troy Polamalu Head and Shoulders commercial. Whenever a Steelers fan would give me crap about the Brown all I had to say is “You ask with your eyes (insert name), you ask with your eyes.” And thanks to TruTV, I can pile on even more thanks to this absurdly ridiculous commercial Troy is in and his little yelp. Thanks TruTV.

truTV Super Bowl Ad with Troy "Punxsutawney" Polamalu


- After the Olympics, we will finally get a look at the new Parenthood redo which looks like it may break the do over curse that plagued ever remake on television of last decade. Here is a behind the scenes look:

Inside Parenthood


- The latest episode of Caprica airs tonight and will feature featuring Sasha Roiz’s character Sam Adama. Check out a preview below:

Reins of Waterfall Sneak Peak


- Movies coming to FX this March include The 25th Hour (3/5), Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (3/18), and Eastern Promises (3/25). All movies start at 8:00.

The Hotest Token Hot Chicks of Survivor Ever

Next week marks the start of the twentieth season of Survivor (there is some sort of Survivor special tonight) and sure there should be a discussion of the greatest Survivor contestants of all time (which I will get to later), but what started out as a cool social experiment pitting strangers against themselves in the middle of nowhere has dissolved into a contest of who they can find to fit into the smallest bikini with a cool social experiment going on in the background. Not that I am complaining. And to honor that, here are the 25 Hottest Token Hot Chicks in the history of Survivor who managed to remain hot despite not taking a shower for a month.

1. Danielle DiLorenzo - Panama

2. Monica Padilla - Samoa

3. Amber Brkich - Australia

4. Eliza Orlins - Vanuatu

5. Sydney Wheeler - Tocantins

6. Parvati Shallow - Cook Island

7. Jamie Dugan - China

8. Jenna Morasca - The Amazon

9. Julie Berry - Vanuatu

10. Kimberly Mullin - Palau

11. Morgan McDevitt - Guatemala

12. Paloma Soto-Castillo - Gabon

13. Natalie White - Samoa

14. Michelle Yi - Fiji

15. Kelly Goldsmith - Africa

16. Carolina Eastwood - Tocantins

17. Amanda Kimmel - China

18. Stephenie LaGrossa - Palau

19. Alexis Jones - Micronesia

20. Dolly Neely - Vanuatu

21. Kim Powers - Africa

22. Elisabeth Filarski - Australia

23. Erinn Lobdell - Tocantins

24. Ashley Trainer - Samoa

25. Darrah Johnson - Pearl Island

First Impressions: Lost the Final Season

I call foul. The promo monkeys said The Time for Questions Are Over and though we got some long awaited answers (five years later we finally know what, or who the Smoke Monster is) but they still set up plenty of questions in the season premiere of Lost most notably, how was Faraday both right and wrong about what happened after they set off a hydrogen bomb (they passengers would find themselves back on the plane as if their plane didn’t crash and ending back in real time respectively).

Speaking of that plane ride, did the writers really try to slip in that Shannon didn’t actually get on the plane and stayed with her boyfriend? Again, I call foul. I really hate it when the writers think we are stupid. Seriously, if you couldn’t get Maggie Grace to come back, you could be a little more creative that to change history to get around the fact she isn’t there. And I wouldn’t be so made if I didn’t assume we will never know why this happened. And I could have done without all the cheesy tongue and cheek lines like Charlie saying he was supposed to die, or Boone telling Locke he was pulling his leg. At least Arntz didn’t make any explosion jokes.

That is not to say none of the revisionist history was bad. I am eager to see just how they explain how Desmond ended up on the plane, where is Christian Sheppard’s body (but do not care at all what happened to Locke’s knives). And of course, if the island if 20,000 leagues under the sea, where is Ben, Juliet, Zeke, Richard Alpert (who has to be presumed dead without that healing spring at the temple) and those hired by Whitmore: Faraday, Miles, Charlotte.

Oh, yeah, and there was the healing spring we could always assumed existed since it miraculously saved Ben from Sayid shooting him and ironically saved Sayid after being shot by Ben’s father. Which begs the question, if Smokey needed Locke dying for his loophole, is Sayid Jacob’s loophole to come back to the land of the living? And at the Temple, we finally get a four year question answered in that we finally know what happened to the children, but still no word why The Others took who they did. Not that I really care anymore.

A few question answer in the season finale but I uncovered the biggest question of them all last night: how Lost ends which I am going to explain in the paragraphs below this one. So if you do not want to know how Lost ends, stop reading now (Scooter’s Note: This is not a spoiler per say as I do not have any insider information, but if I were a betting man, I would put a small fee on this being how the show concludes).

Faraday was right, you can reboot time, but he was wrong with the event. The bomb was always “The Incident” and was fated to happen (like I predicted). To use Faraday’s skipping record analogy, when Ben pushed the frozen donkey wheel, it created time to skip, it kept skipping until Locke made it stop, but they were left where Locke made the skipping stop, in the seventies. What the bomb accomplished was the blow the needle back to present day (well, back where Ben is, which I think is 2008).

So the ending of Lost will come when they figure out what that event that will start time will be which is when Jacob finds a loophole that will kill his buddy / Not-Locke / Smokie and in the ruckus, Jack gets decapitated explaining the cut on his neck back on the plane. Then when that happens “The Flashbacks” that we see of the plane are the result of happens from that event. But that just doesn’t reset back to the events of the plane, but the whole history of the island and that is why it is underwater and why Desmond can be on the plane, because he never crashed on the island because it was there. Or to put it in laymen’s term, remember the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode where Cordelia wished Buffy never came to Sunnydale? Everyone but Giles died, and time was reset when he crushed Anya’s medallion. That is what the series finale of Lost will be. Bazinga.

Revisting Lost 1.x

The fans of Lost are basically just like the two main characters on the show: you are either a man of faith, or a man of science. If faith is your bag, you are giddily waiting tonight’s premiere of the last season and trust that the creators will deliver a satisfying end to the series because they have had a plan all along. If you are a man of science, you spent the ten months since the last season finale coming up with the 100 Questions Lost Better Answer or We’ll Be Pissed. I fall into the later and could have easily came up with more than a hundred, but to be honest I stopped caring sometime during the second season and may have dumped the show around the fourth had they not named an end date.

But back when I still was a Lost obsessive, I created my own mini list at the end of the first season with a bunch of unanswered questions bback in 2005 (see Guys (Dramatic Pause) Where Are We). So as we go into the final season, I am jumping into the Dharma time machine and see just how they did in answering questions I was left wondering after season one.


What did Kate do that was so bad that her mom is scared of her?
My Guess: Eco-terrorist blamed for the death of an oil tycoon.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, she blew up her father

How did Locke get in the wheelchair?
My Guess: Complications to surgery.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, his father pushed him out a window.

What is the monster?
My Guess: A specter.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No, Ben ambiguously said it was the island’s security system, but that is really it.
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 75%.

What is the hatch to?
My Guess: A submarine.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, it was to a Dharma station. Not so satisfying, there ended up being an easier entry point.

What happened to Rose?
My Guess: She went looking for her husband around the island.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Not really, she just was not written into those last couple episodes.

Why did the fortune teller change his mind about Claire keeping her baby?
My Guess: The fortune teller didn't change his mind. There is no couple in LA. He saw another castaway's future and made Claire get on that flight.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 10%.

Who was Ethan Rom and why did he want Claire?
My Guess: One of the others looking for the chosen one.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, he was indeed an Other and they wanted to examine how she was pregnant on the island.

How did Claire escape someone who could capture two people at one time?
My Guess: She didn't escape, she was let go after it was realized that her child wasn't the chosen one.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Sort of, she was released by one of The Others but I don’t remember why they didn’t go back after her.

How did Jack single handedly beat up Ethan Rom after be beaten like a red headed step child days earlier?
My Guess: Ethan let him win.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No.
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 0%

Why would Sayid hook up with Shannon after being so close to finding his true love?
My Guess: I, personally, would forget about any past loves if I had a chance with Shannon.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No, but my guess should suffice.

What's with the number?
My Guess: Just a way to connect everyone and everything.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Pretty much, they had to be inputted to keep from the world to end though no word on why those numbers or why they seem to bring bad luck.

What did the French chick say to Hurley to calm him down?
My Guess: Haven't a clue.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No, but to be honest it took me a while to remember exactly what this scene and don’t remember a resolution either.
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 5%

Why did Claire name here kid Aaron? If she lost all her memory, what could the significance of this be?
My Guess: I think the writers screwed up.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No and No
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 25% and 0%.

What do the Others want with Walt?
My Guess: He can control the monster.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Not really, Ben said Jacob wanted him, but we never learn why (besides “he’s special”) and since leaving the island, the writers don’t seem to care about Walt anymore, he didn’t even have to be part of the recreated plane ride back to the island.

What will happen to Michael, Sawyer & Jin?
My Guess: They will float back to the island and will discover the other survivors like Rose's husband and Michelle Rodriguez.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, I guessed correctly.

What will Jack and company find down the hatch?
My Guess: Boone, Ethan Rom, the marshal, Scott and anyone else who died.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: Yes, it was a Dharma station manned by Desmond.

Why is a flight from Australia carrying so many non-Australians? By my count there is only one Australian that we have met, Claire.
My Guess: It's an American show.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No, it most likely is just a literary licence.

What was the secret Locke told Walt in the pilot?
My Guess: I'm not sure I really want to know.
Has There Been a Satisfying Answer: No but I am sure Chris Hansen would like to ask some questions about his relationship with Walt.
Chance There Will Be a Satisfying Answer: 10%.

For a recap of the questions left open after the first season of Lost:
No: 9
Yes: 6
Not Really: 2
Sort Of: 1
Pretty Much: 1

We on Award Tour: 2010 Grammy Awards

Even though music dying, that isn’t going to stop them from be self congratulatory. And even though the awards themselves are worthless (Hilary Clinton has more than The Beach Boys; Neil Young won his first ever this year… for album packaging), there are still plenty of great performances, here are my thoughts on last night’s festivities.

- Remember when opening the Grammy’s was a big thing. Prince being join Beyoncé, Madonna being backed by the Gorillaz performing in 3-D for the first time, the reunited Police, U2 even got things started last year. This year we get the most overrated thing in music possibly ever. Well at least Lady Gaga only covered herslf in soot instead of fake menstrual blood for this performance. So there’s that.

- In lieu of an actual host yet again, we get Stephen Colbert for a pseudo-monologue trashing the music industry (and they still laugh) all but pointing out how Susan Boyle managed to sell more albums than anyone in the audience (sans Taylor Swift) in less than a month then they did all year). But his bit with his daughter was the highlight, if only the cameraman was a little quicker with the reaction shot.

- Just a reminder, Song of the Year is a songwriting award. Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) won a songwriting award. Whoa-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh Oh- oh-oh-oh.

- Who invited Jennifer Lopez? Was it just to memorialize the ten year anniversary since she wore “The Dress”? (If so, where was the twentieth anniversary memorial to Milli Vanilli winning Best New Artist?) It’s been eight years since she put out a song anyone cared about or a movie anyone wanted to see.

- And even odder, she introduces Green Day and the cast of American Idiot which didn’t really work. Had there been distractingly bad lip-syncing, it could have been something out of Glee.

- And cheesiest idea award goes to Lincoln who wants you to vote on which artist will perform in their next commercial.

- You know you are in for a great performance when before a note is played and you go “Oh snap.” That was my first thought when I saw Beyoncé standing in front of her futuristic SWAT team. Granted my second thought was “If they start doing the Single Ladies dance, I’m throwing my remote at the television.” Luckily the SDTV was saved as we get a interesting medley of If I Were a Boy and You Oughta Know. Although I could have done without the crotch grab.

- Interestingly Best Comedy Album gets a primetime spot. I cannot remember that happening before. And finally daughter Colbert finds her dad cool.

- Kings of Leon wins Best Record. Wow, for the first I think ever, I agree with the winner of this category.

- Most actors show up with the Grammy to shamelessly shill their latest movie or their CBS show, but Robert Downey Jr. is just there to call himself, “The Most Self Important Actor of His Generation.”

- Sure Blame It is one of the worst songs in recent memory, but it is hard not to like that performance. They just kept pulling out random people like Doug E. Fresh and Slash who for whatever reason starts shredding the solo from November Rain. Love it.

- Maybe not a good sign for the Dave Matthews Band for Album of the Year when they couldn’t even win the genre specific award. Which begs the question, how does Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas get nominated for the big award over Green Day and U2?

- Why tease that Taylor Swift is going perform with one her idols only to show video of her singing with Stevie Nicks. Huruph. The Rhiannon performance was decent enough, but hearing Nicks singing the kiddie lyrics of You Belong with Me was almost as disturbing as Def Leppard singing Swift's tenth grade poetry.

- Please stop with the 3-D television events until you perfect the art because the Michael Jackson performance was less 3-D and more just a redder version of the performance. At least it was just a couple minutes unlike the hour long Chuck episode that gave me a headache. And Earth Song may be one of Jackson’s most underrated songs along with Will You Be There. And are Jackson’s kids really that old? The boy looked like he is already in Middle School and the girl is starting to look like Amanda Bynes.

- No Kanye West to accept the Rap-Sung Collaboration. Maybe he was banned (nor was invited to perform on the Drake track). Sure he is a douche, but award shows are a little less interesting without Kanye’s ego.

- For those who want to download the Haitian relief song by Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli, go to iTunes.com/target (why Target, I have no clue).

- Old dude alert! And we get our yearly lecture on why downloading is bad. Yawn.

- Adam Sandler introducing the Dave Matthews Band: it like that did that just for me. Beyoncé made a valiant effort, but Dave and the boys, had the best performance of the night.

- Quentin Tarantino may be able to make some entertaining movies but his painfully uncool and his introduction was really cringeworthy.

- Note to Grammy producers, stop inviting artists to perform songs with copious amount of profanity. No one is enjoying these performances where the censors fall asleep on their mute button for most of the song. And did Lil Wayne pull out his Lil Wayne because my screen went yellow for about thirty seconds during the performance.

- One has to wonder if Taylor Swift wins this award for Album of the Year if Kanye West doesn’t turn her into America’s Sweetheart. I thought it was going to come down to Beyoncé edging out Dave Matthews Band with Swift just as a darkhouse (and Lady Gaga and the Black Eyed Peas with zero chance).

- Here is my favorite performance of the night:

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXV

Chuck: You know you have a great episode of Chuck when even Morgan isn’t even that annoying. Of course pairing him with Casey can have that effect. Then you have the appearance of Lana Lang which put a grin on my face as big as Chuck’s. There are very few people that can out-hot Sarah and Lana is one of them. Hopefully, unlike most of her run on Smallville, the writers give her something interesting to do (except for being a double agent). Speaking of the Man of Steele, of course Superman needs thick reading glasses. And if Lana Lang wasn’t enough, we also get Stone Cold Steve Austin as the bad guy of the week and may very well be the best token bad guy the show has had. My only complaint with this episode was we didn’t get to see the volleyball incident with Casey at the company picnic that Morgan mentioned. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Greek: How were the girls really okay with Casey telling Cappie about burning down the house? She was the one that made the oath not to tell anyone. And with everyone’s obsession with cop show, how could no one realize that throwing the shovel right near where they buried the clipboard not the best idea? And why not just burn the clip board? Tell people you have started composting to help save the environment. On the bright side, Dale having interns was highly entertaining. Hopefully they stick around even though he didn’t get the grant. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Castle: Maybe the most fun episode of the series, really embracing the will they or won’t they vibe of the two leads with them linked together in the paper then being preoccupied with each other and the case during dinner, but a little disappointing that there was no mention of Beckett’s mother breakthrough from last week. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes. Also be sure to check out my chat with Stana Katic.

Leverage: No comment on this week’s episode because I was too tired to stay up Wednesday night so instead of taping it I would just stream it. The problem with that is the latest episode is still not available for streaming on TNT.tv. To make things worse, I check the On Demand feature on my cable box and the only episode there was the winter premiere from two and a half weeks ago. Is it really that hard to get episodes up the next day? I at least want to see it sometime before the next episode airs.

Best of the Week vol. XXXI

Quote of the Week: When he does, you act like your little girlish self. Scream like a banshee so he doesn’t think you’re a threat. When he pulls you out, you find a weapon and flash. (Casey, Chuck)

Song of the Week: Respect – Otis Redding (Chuck)

Big News of the Week: The CW Is Going Back to the 90’s… Again: I haven’t watch a second of The CW since Everybody Hate Chris went off the air (to score bigger rating for repeats on Nick at Night and BET then it did for orginal episodes on The CW), on account that I am too old and too male to watch the channel. I still inadvertently catch news coming from the outlet like when it broke this week that the channel will once again be trolling the 90’s for television idea even after 90210 and Melrose Place have been miserable failures. But sadly my prediction last year that Models Inc. would be next on The CW docket (which itself was a spin-off of Melrose Place) though The CW I going with the equally laughable La Femme Nikita, the show that ran on USA for five series. Although I am not sure why The CW is even developing shows because either 1) the network won’t even exist next season (which some predict), or 2) it will cut its programming down to only four nights a week (which I predict). But if they are still around in 2011, may I suggest your next crappy 90’s reboot be Cleopatra 2525.


Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: Falling in Love (music video) – Raphael Saadiq (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Up to 58% Off TV Shows (Freaks and Geeks, Leverage, Greek)

Video of the Week: Lana Lang in a Nerd Herd uniform? Yes please.

Next On: More Action, More Chuck


Next Week Pick of the Week: Lost, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC: The long awaited final season of Lost commences this Tuesday and I am ready. I have been mentally preparing for a letdown since around the third season. And looking over Sci-Fi Wire’s The 100 Questions Lost Better Answer or We’ll Be Pissed, all I could think was, “Only 100?”