Best of the Week vol. XIII

Quote of the Week: Please, Dateline could use it to attract predators. (Howard; The Big Bang Theory)

Song of the Week: I Put a Spell on You – Creedence Clearwater Revivial (My Name Is Earl)

Big News of the Week: Is the Obama Honeymoon Over?: It seemed like the new president had a longer grace period than most considering our economic problem seems to get deeper and deeper. But it looks like people are realizing that Barack Obama is still acting like he is campaigning instead of actually being presidential by still touring the country with his Chicken Little routine about the economy, sharing his bracket with ESPN, and appearing on The Tonight Show where he made a not so funny joke about the Special Olympics bringing the ire of Special Olympian bowler Kolan McConiughey who responded, “I’ll beat you.” But Obama is spending less time in Washington than George Bush.

But all the extracurricular activities look like they are starting to backfire. In response to the president’s bracket, Duke Coach Mike Krzyewski responded, “Somebody said that we're not in President Obama's Final Four, and as much as I respect what he's doing, really, the economy is something that he should focus on, probably more than the brackets.” And speaking of the brackets, of which Obama spinelessly picked chalk which would have gotten him ruefully mock any pool across the country, he also shamefully favored swing state schools (according to FiveThirtyEight.com) the few times he took a higher seed.

And the networks are taking note of his affinity of appearing on television, the latest bumping the highest rated show on television this coming Tuesday. An unnamed source recently said, “These repeated interruptions, and the rumor of even more to come, really make it difficult to build audience flow and loyalty. We will all lose one or two million dollars for this." Another mentioned: “These frequent primetime requests are wreaking serious havoc with our schedule and our advertisers. Ratings are down everywhere and the airtime is costing us all significant dollars when we can least afford it.” And if Chuck does not come back next season, Ben Silverman says you have Obama to thank for killing its post-Super Bowl momentum. But Silverman is a douche, so take anything he says with a grain of salt.

And most damning is that people are actually putting two and two together and realizing something is fishy that AIG donated more money to the Obama than to all but one Congressman in the past twenty-five year and their employees just happened to keep their bonuses. And when it got out, he proposes an unconstitutional attempt of taxing those bonuses at 98% making it seem like he is upset but not actually being able to exact a punishment.

Coalition Links of the Week:
GMMR asked if you were a network exec and could program TV for only one hour out of each day, what would the TV schedule look like? (Give Me My Remote)

Vance is enjoying the shows no one is watching. Like newbies Kings and Better Off Ted or old faves Ugly Betty and Lost amongst many others. (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace talked to Joss Whedon about his "Man on the Street" episode of FOX's Dollhouse, why Dollhouse seems to lack the funny, and whether he would be leaving television for good. (Televisionary)

Sara celebrated the fact that Chuck was back to wearing ascots on the latest episode of Gossip Girl. (TiFaux)

Jennifer contemplated why Ugly Betty Suarez is such a man magnet. (Tube Talk)

Steve got his hands on a copy of next week's Gossip Girl and recapped it for your spoilerly pleasure (TVFanatic)

Ben celebrated the enws that BBC3 had bought the UK rights to the new murder mystery Harper's Island and took a look at it spin-off web series Harper's Globe. (TV Spy)


Free Download of the Week: Goliath – Kings (iTunes) - The season premiere was an odd bag but mostly enjoyable. If you missed it you can download it for free either on iTunes or at Amazon Video on Demand (see right). And you can also check out my First Impressions of Kings.

Deal of the Week: Sci-Fi Television Favorites & More: Save up to 56% (Buffy, The X-Files, Angel)

Video of the Week: Last night saw the season debut of Head Case and the new show from Rob Thomas (not the singer) and Paul Rudd called Party Down staring Dick Casablancas Vinnie Van Lowe, and Bill Haverchunk (also look out for guest appearances from Logan Echolls, Dean O’Dell, Keith and Veronica Mars). Not that I saw either on account that I don’t have Starz (but look for a review of season one of Head Case coming soon). But if you do, they are on Fridays at 10:00 and 10:30 respectively (and I presume repeated throughout the week). Below is a clip from Party Down:

Party Down: Kyle Discusses the Perks of the Job


if you are like me and do not have Starz, they actually uploaded the whole premiere of Head Case and Party Down to its YouTube channel.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Survivor, Wednesday at 8:00 on CBS: Notice the special day for Survivor thanks to March Madness. I originally thought this was going to be a simple recap show but the description says another contestant will be voted off. And if we are lucky it will be coach in a blindside.

Previewing DogTown

After the Michael Vick incident, even the people who despise PETA had to wonder what would happen to the dogs that he and his hoodlums were training to fight. Well they ended up at DogTown, part of the Best Friends Sanctuary, a Utah based no-kill animal shelter. And the reality show of the same named last year chronicled the rehabilitation of the Vick dogs whose progress will again be featured during the new season of DogTown which premieres tonight at 10:00 on the National Geographic Channel.

Some of the other stand out cases you can also expect this season are Aristotle (who is featured tonight and is pictured at left), a terrier mix who comes in covered in scabs from an undiagnosed skin condition. Then there is Rush, a shepherd mix airlifted out of Beirut, who had to have a leg amputated and who is traumatized by load songs after living through bombings in the city (April 10). And there are Haley and Hana, two dogs rescued from an underground cave in Ethiopia where strays are thrown into to die (April 3). And you will never want to adopt from a pet store after seeing dogs that were rescued from an overcrowded puppy mill (March 27).

Another heartbreaking story is that of Ava, a golden retriever who was found in a coyote trap. View a clip below.

Broken Paw


You can get more information about DogTown, the series, over at National Geographic and DogTown, the facility over at Best Friends. And of course if you want to see pictures of my dogs, head over to Ren and Snoopy’s Doghouse.

I Want My Music Television vol. XLVI

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Stay Up (Viagra) – 88 Keys and Kanye West



Even though the beat is pretty weak it is nice to hear Kanye West rapping again. And now that he has fulfilled his self fulfilling prophesy of leaving hid woman for a white girl he will stop singing those horrible emo songs and trash is auto tuner.


No You Girls – Franz Ferdinand



Franz Ferdinand is one of those bands that I need to be in a certain mood to enjoy (typically a parting type a mood which isn’t very much these days). But this new song is catchy enough to get me in that mood whenever I hear it.


Buggin’ Out – Consequence and Kid Cupri



I am always up for A Tribe Called Quest rehash and Consequence (who was featured on multiple tracks on Beats, Rhymes and Life and just happens to be Q-Tip’s cousin) does a stellar job recreating the song. But maybe goes a little too far with the bugging out metaphor in the video.


Sweet About Me - Gabriella Cilmi



Keep in mind when listening to the song that Gabriella Cilmi is a seventeen year old Australian. Her voice sounds like someone who has been drinking whisky for the past seventeen year. Maybe we should keep her away from Amy Winehouse.

It's March Madness Baby! 2009 Edition

March Madness seemed a little less mad
this year, or at the very least the brackets did. A lot of mediocre teams from big conferences made it in this year which means trying to pick upsets less fun. At least that was until yesterday’s Pardon the Interruption started calling for Congressional investigation into the NCAA for favoring major conferences over small ones. Hopefully when the tournament we do get some exciting games, but the tournament selection really robbed us of man y potential Davidson like runs this year. Now keep in mind you may be better off taking the advice of your little sister, but here are my picks for this year.

East
Finals: Villanova (3) over Xavier (4)
Upset Special: VCU (11) over UCLA (6)

Midwest
Finals: Louisville (1) over Kansas (3)
Upset Special: Dayton (11) over West Virginia (6)

South
Finals: North Carolina (1) over Arizona St. (6)
Upset Special: Western Kentucky (12) over Illinois (5)

West
Finals: Memphis (2) over Washington (4)
Upset Special: Utah St. (11) over Marquette (6)

Final Four
Louisville over Mephis
North Carolina over Villanova

Finals
North Carolina over Louisville 68-60

I didn’t notice until I wrote this that I have all the 11-seeds out in the first round except the one I have going to the Elite 8. Maybe an already ominous start to my bracket. Or may just be genius. But most likely stupid.

First Impressions: Kings

Can something be grandiose and boring at the same time? If so, than that can sum up Kings. The show has a look and feel like nothing currently on television and a scope not seen since Rome. But it is hard to not think the two hour premiere could have fit everything important into one hour to kill off some of the lulls.

The show is a modern day retelling of the story of David (Spoiler Alert for the heathens out there: He goes on to become king) set in a parallel universe and the fake country Gilboa (isn’t that where Anne Hathaway is a princess?) who is currently at war with their neighbors, the equally bad named Gath. In Gilboa, there is monarchy les by King Silas played by the overbearing Ian McShane (Agent Cody Banks) who lives a tangled life; he marries into money to set up his kingdom (of whom his brother-in-law is the main profiteer of the war); his daughter cares too much about his subjects and continually lobbies for better health care for them; his son is a royal version of Paris Hilton, right down to the parting and having sex with dudes. And of course there is the mistress with a kid of her own.

On the front line of the war is David Sheppard (who I cannot confirm is Mr. Boston from I Love New York, but I’m pretty sure it is him), an awe shucks country boy that can fix anything, including, apparently, wars. He gets tangled up with the king when he rescues the prince in one of the more laughable scenes as the soldiers of Gath acted like enemies is a crappy nineties video game. And as the preview promised, David takes the king up on his offer of half his kingdom by getting a dance with the princess.

Being based off of the Bible, there are plenty of religious references, many coming from then king’s personal guru, who naturally is not fond of the wars he wages and seems to be drawn to David (whom he creepily touches a few times in the first hour). And like most prophets he takes in vague terms and makes little sense.

Kings is ambitious but sometimes too ambitious for its own good. It has yet give a good enough back-story to the king and Gilboa, it is easy to compare it to America but under the surface seems to have little to do with this country besides New York City being the obvious standing for the faux the capital right down to Central Park overlooking the kings office. And the storyline of being in and out of war multiple times in a two hour frame was a little hard to follow. But once the show finds its footing, it could end up being the most compelling show on television.

Kings airs Sundays at 8:00 on NBC. You can stream current episodes at NBC.com. You can currently download the two hour pilot of Kings for free on iTunes and it is also free on Amazon Video on Demand (see below):

Lyrics Quiz: St. Patrick's Day

Recently I have been playing around with Genius in iTunes and have concluded that it doesn’t really live up to its name because I rarely have any, “wow, that is a great match” moments. Like when I put in Puff Daddy’s Been Around the World I’d like to see Davie Bowie’s Let’s Dance and/or Lisa Stanfield’s All Around the World instead of the generic rap of the late nineties. But anyways. It does make for a good Lyrics Quiz creator. For this month I threw in St. Patrick’s Day by John Mayer (on account that it is Tuesday). Now if it was truly Genius I would expect other holiday themed songs like Halloweenhead, The Thanksgiving Song, 4th of July Ashbury Park (Sandy) or anything from Christmas related, but alas. As always leave your guesses, both artist and song title, in the comment section or e-mail me. If you are correct I will un-bold the lyric. Please keep in mind the lyrics quiz is for entertainment purposes only so please only use your own meandering mind to guess them. Here are twenty-five songs that Genius did spit out for St. Patrick’s Day.


1. Anger, he smiles, towering in shiny metallic purple armor.
2. Am I the one who plays the quite songs? Is he the one who turns the ladies on?
3. Looking on, she sings a song. The words she knows, the tune she hums. (Tiny Dancer - Elton John, guessed by Angie)
4. Just remember the telephones; they work in a both ways. But if I never ever hear them ring. If nothing else I think the bells inside them finally found you someone else. And that’s okay.
5. There’s no one left to finger. There’s no one here to blame. There’s no one left to talk to honey and there ain’t no one left to buy our innocence. (Adia - Sarah McLaughlin; guessed by Angie)
6. She could keep anything from me. I could have been anyone you see. She’s nothing but porcelain underneath her skin.
7. When you’re sure you had enough of this life, to hang on. Don’t let yourself go. (Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.; guessed by Angie)
8. Your top was untied and I thought how nice it’d be to follow the sweat down your spine. (Dreamgirl - Dave Matthews Band; guessed by Angie)
9. You will never have the time. I would love to change your mind. You were there, and it was good in the beginning.
10. Come one, come all into 1984. Yeah three, two, one, lights, camera, transaction. (Talk Shows On Mute - Incubus; guessed by Jo)
11. There are many things I’d like to say to you but I don’t know how. (Wonderwall - Oasis; guessed by Angie)
12. I’m going to meet you, I’m gonna greet you at her back door as you’re coming out.
13. We’d hit the bottom. I thought it was my fault. And in a way I guess it was. I’m just now finding out what it was all about. (Landed - Ben Folds; guessed by Molly)
14. Finding what I really need is what makes me bleed, like a new disease. Oh, lord, she’s still too young.
15. Late nights won’t do me justice because when I drink I get so (expletive deleted) depressed and it’s not right. I ain’t trying to get over you.
16. Wish I had a dollar every time you say, “don’t you miss the feeling music gave you back in the day.” (Musicology - Prince; guessed by Angie)
17. I pulled into Nashville Tennessee. But you wouldn’t even come around to see me. Since you’re heading up to Carolina you know I gonna be right there behind ya. (Steal My Kisses - Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals; guessed by Angie)
18. If you want it, come and get it. Crying out loud. (Babylon II - David Gray; guessed by Angie)
19. Flowers in her evening set I get the feeling she won’t forget. And there’s times you’d long to be her but to be her is surely blinding. (She's On Fire - Train; guessed by Angie)
20. Spin around one more time and gracefully fall back into the arms of grace. (Breathing - Lifehouse; guessed by Angie)
21. Well, I shuffled through the city on the 4th of July; I had a firecracker waiting to blow. Breaking like a robber who was making his way through the cities of Mexico. (New York, New York - Ryan Adams; guessed by Molly)
22. I have only come here seeking knowledge. Thing they would not teach me of in college. (Wrapped Around Your Finger - The Police; guessed by Angie)
23. I am surrounded by liars everywhere I turned. I am surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn. (I Don't Want To Be - Gavin DeGraw; guessed by Angie)
24. There was so easy living day by day; out of touch with the rhythm and blues.
25. Don’t know who I’m kidding imagining you’ll care. I could stand here a fool for another day. (Barely Breathing - Dunkan Sheik; guessed by Angie)


(Scooter’s Note: I plan to use Genius in future Quizzes, feel free to suggest a song you would like see run through Genius in the comments along with your guesses. Keep in mind I must have it to use it)

57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. LXXI

Quote of the Week: I got the premium package. I told you if I don't watch 5 hours of TV a day, I'm throwing money out the window. (Gary, Gary Unmarried)

Song of the Week: Heaven – Warrant (Tool Academy)

Big News of the Week: The Recession Hits Home: When the recession started making stories circa October last year I could care less because it seemed to only hurt morons who bought houses they couldn’t afford and the morons who gave them the money to do so (an a few innocent bystanders). But as we inch closer to a depressions thanks to an administration thinking throwing money at anything will make things better even though the reason why we are in it is because the last one did the exact same thing, the recession actually hit home this week with the announcement that BMG Music is no more. I have taken advantage of their “12 for the price of 1” deals for almost two decades now (my first shipment included Public Enemy, Bryan Adams and Alice in Chains) and would estimate a good 40% of my CD collection came from the service. BMG Music: you will be missed. Luckily Amazon MP3 has cushioned my fall thanks to the MP3 Daily Deal which offers a full album for $2.99 (or less) every day and I have already taken advantage of the deal multiple times this year.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Coalition Links of the Week:
With news of Leighton Meester landing a film role, Buzz wondered which TV actors could shine on the big screen. (BuzzSugar)

This week, Sandie shared the first pictures of Alex O'Loughlin in Criminal Minds. (Daemon's TV)

Vance is loving the new Degrassi kids, meanwhile, some of the old ones are going to Hollywood, while a few in real life are starring in a play in Toronto! (Tapeworthy)

Missing Lost this week? Jace might not have a new episode of the ABC drama to tide you over until your latest fix but he does have video of his interviews with showrunners Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and series stars Matthew Fox, Evangeline Lilly, and Michael Emerson... along with a few spoilers. (Televisionary)

Although not usually one to pick a fight, Dan expressed some annoyance with the portrayal of gay folks on SNL and Bromance. (TiFaux)

Jennifer pondered why there are no big stars on Dancing With the Stars and who will die on Smallville, while Ashley took a swing at TV's best musical moments. (Tube Talk)

Raoul talked to Kris and Amanda from The Amazing Race. (TV Filter)

This week, we listed 5 reasons why Kings could help rebuild NBC's empire. (the TV Addict)


The Big Bang Theory: I may be knit-picking, but Sheldon does that with everything, so it makes it okay. But the opening just didn’t work for me for two reasons. Why would they need more Tivo space so they don’t have to delete Battlestar Galactica? I can’t image between the four of them, at least one has the DVD, and most likely all four have their own version. And why would Sheldon be so adverse to breaking the warranty agreement? Wouldn’t he think he would be able to fix the Tivo better than even the dude who created it. With that said, all of it was still funny. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: I was completely offended by the insults flung around to Ted having a soul patch as I sported one in my youth and had one before there was even a name for such a thing. Okay, the name “soul patch” is kind of Toolish, but having one before it was dubbed that was totally awesome. Then I had the save mine off when someone suggested I stole the idea from the gay dude on The Real World (I want to say New Orleans). You can stream current episodes over at Innertube. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

I Love Money: I love how The Entertainer and his alliance have gotten so upset that everyone pretty much banded together to out his crew as if no one else is allow to create their own alliance and just sit around waiting to get voted off.

Gary Unmarried: It has become pretty clear that Louis is the new star of the show and the most recent episode just cemented that. Just imagine if she were ten years older and ran into Sheldon. And they should seriously think about adding Martin Mull and Jane Curtain to the cast. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.

Survivor: So J.D. chips a tooth, spits it out, throws it across the playing field, and gets ready for the next round. Man's Game J.D. But I really want the Exile Alliance to work though they are skating on thin ice on both tribes. What really sucks is I don’t think we will get a new episode for three weeks thanks to March Madness with just a Wednesday recap episode in the mean time. You can stream current episodes over at Innertube.



Friday Night Lights: I was a little disapointed that the Panthers did not run a little Wildcat. When you have two quarterbacks on the field you have to trow in a trick play or two. And how do you go for it on fourth and long with under a minute? Punt i through the enzone so the cannot have a run back and go into prevent. If he doesn't make a first down, that would have been a fireable offense. You can stream current episodes over at NBC.com.



You can also check out my First Impressions of Castle and/or my Final Impressions of Tool Academy.

Free Download of the Week: Pitter-Pat (Acoustic) – Erin McCarley (Amazon MP3): One of the previously mentioned Deal of the Day’s that I have advantage of was the decent debut from Eric McCarley and this week you can get an acoustic version of one of the songs for free.

Deal of the Week: Over 300 Blu-ray Discs as Low as $13.99 (Lost, Tropic Thunder, Reservoir Dogs, Zack and Miri Make a Porno)

Video of the Week: Monday wraps up Christina Ricci’s run on Saving Grace and don’t expect her tenure to end with her completion of her rotation. Nope, Grace finds something about Ricci that brings her stint to an abrupt end. Check out a clip below:



Next Week Pick of the Week: March Madness, Thursday and Friday from noon until after midnight on CBS: Some would argue that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, but for me it is March Madness. With four games on at a time, there is a high probability that at least one will be good and they go on all day for two days. Plus it is the only time of the year when gambling is socially acceptable, even teachers pass out brackets to their students for “extra credit” and the boss doesn’t care if you spend the workday hitting refresh on ESPN.com. Sadly 90% of people are all but out of their office pool by the start of the second round while the secretary who doesn’t follow sports sits on the top of the leaderboard.

Around the Tubes vol. V

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Blog Smog, Kings, Parks and Recreations, DogTown, My Boys, Guantanamo Bay, and Cesar Millan.

- Dentyne has a new campaign out that hits a little to close to home. Luckily for the people around me I am a little obsessive compulsive about my teeth so I usually keep them clean and fresh. For those that do not, or not sure, you will want to check the video out below:

Blog Smog


- I have been excited for Kings since I saw the first preview because it just has that epic feel to it and I can finally get a full look at it Sunday at 8:00 on NBC. Here is a two minute preview but if you want to see a much better seven-minute version, you can download it for free on iTunes and in HD if you choose.



- The show has even put together a pretty cool interactive trailer where you play a television news producer reporting on the star of the show. But keep in mind that it will take you about ten minutes and they will be calling you and you will want to disable your pop-up blocker. Head over to UNNExclusive.com to participate.

- In other website for fake shows news the City of Pawnee has set up its own website, the city in the upcoming show Parks and Recreation starring Amy Poehler. You can even find the e-mail address of Parks and Recreation’s Deputy Director Leslie Knope (Poehler) while you are there.

- If there is one thing I learned from the press release for the new season of DogTown it is that the show is Ellen DeGeneres’ favorite show. The new season premieres next Friday and I may have more on it next week. But until then, here is a clip from the premiere:



- Also coming up on the television calendar is My Boys coming March 31 at 10:30 on TBS. I should also have more information on the show in upcoming weeks. Until then, you can view some of last season’s episodes over at TBS.com.

- Coming April 5 at 9:00, the National Geographic Channel gained extended access to the notorious Guantanamo Bay to document what life is really like for the detainees and those who guard them.

- In an odd press release I got, apparently the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan became a United States citizen yesterday. Um, okay. So congratulations Cesar and feel free to stop by my house sometime to see if you can keep my dogs from using the dining room as their own personal bathroom.

I Want My Music Television vol. XLV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Nothing to Worry About – Peter Bjorn and John



You may remember Peter, Bjorn and John from their whistling song, and if you don’t, what hole were you hiding in back in 2007? Naturally there new song isn’t as catchy but at least the video is classic, featuring choreographed, Japanese, Elvis bikers. Brilliant.


Carol Brown - Flight of the Concords



I have never seen Flight of the Conchords before on account that I am too cheap to order HBO. But this chorus of ex-girlfriends may get me to throw the DVD into my queue. Granted it may two to three year to get through it.


Just Go – Lionel Richie featuring Akon




Why? Why Lionel Richie Why would you stoop so low to recruited Akon to make music? He has had his hand on some of the worst music of the 00’s. You need to just go back to writing and producing your own music. And if you need a duet partnet, just get the Commodores back together.


It Won’t Be Like This for Long - Darius Rucker



I really miss Hootie.

Keep Your Hand on My Head, Your Heart on Your Sleeve

Listening to All I Ever Wanted I feel I may have been a little to harsh when reviewing Kelly Clarkson’s last disk My December (see: You're Going Crazy, Running on Empty). My big complaint was that she tried to do too much herself, even if she had no ability to create a memorable melody, almost defiantly resulting in a bland cumbersome album. But on her new disk, the best tracks are actually the one with her hands on it.

The album starts off with handing the reigns over to other writers an d producers almost saying, if you want another Since U Been Gone, here you go” with first single My Life Would Suck Without You even opening up with the exact same guitar riff. Sadly the truly excellent riff from Gone, the ripped off one from The Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Maps, is nowhere to be found. But in the end the song doesn’t even sound like Clarkson, instead sounds like Katy Perry trying to imitate her.

Perry actually shows up twice co-writing two of the weakest tracks on the album I Do Not Hook Up (co-written by Kara DioGuardi) and Long Shot (co-written with Glen Ballard). Both songs are dumbed down and riddled with over reaching clichés, pretty much your token Katy Perry song. And Since U Been Gone isn’t the only song that gets recreated as Don’t Let Me Stop You starts up with the same noted as Behind These Hazel Eyes.

Things don’t get much listenable until the Clarkson written Already Gone. But keep in mind the song was co-written and produced by the dude from One Republic, so it is about as adventurous as your typical Musak track. Actually, Save You sounds like Stop and Stare in the beginning and features the “I wish we were Coldplay” riffs in it too. Two of the songs Kelly didn’t write with Ryan Tedder are a bit poppier, and better. In fact I Want You may be the best late nineties teen pop songs never written and even harkens back to the girl groups of the sixties.

The album ends on a high note with the Keri Noble scribed If No One Will Listen which Clarkson could have written herself after the debacle surrounding her last record. And is a much better balled than the overdramatic and over dramatic Cry which will probably polluting the airwaves for the year and a half. But it will be If No One Will Listen that American Karaokers will be butchering for years to come.

Song to Download – I Want You

All I Ever Wanted gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

First Impressions: Castle

It is hard not to get a distinctive case of déjà vu while watching Castle. We have seen it all before: a woman who takes her job a little too serious gets stuck with a guy who doesn’t take anything serious. This has become so overdone it is hard to remember the last time television put together a stuck guy and a free spirit chick.

What the show does have going for it is the characters are someone likable. The all too serious detective Stana Katic (The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice) gets stuck with bad boy writer Nathan Fillion (Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place) after someone has gone on a killing spree that mirror those in his books. And naturally the sparks fly.

And if that isn’t enough clichés for you, then we meet Castle’s family, his mother the drunken Martha Rodgers (Dharma & Greg; hey, there’s an answer to my question earlier). Then there is his fifteen year old daughter who is more mature than her father, naturally. Also in the cast are some of Kanic’s coworkers, but none of which were interesting enough to really mention.

What hurts Castle the most is a symptom that has been plaguing a bunch of new shows lately where the premise is a decent idea if it were a movie, but it doesn’t seem built for the long run. For Castle, had they extended out a couple more murders, it would have made a decent movie. But I am not sure how they can keep Castle following around the cops entertaining week in and week out.

Castle airs Mondays at 10:00 on ABC. You can stream current episodes over at ABC.com.

I'm Sorry, You're Just a Tool

“I’m sorry, you’re just a Tool” may never reach the pantheon of parting snarkiness of reality shows like “The tribe has spoken” but that certainly hasn’t stopped me from uttering the phrase ad nausea for the past two months. From Michael Phelps and Alex Rodriguez for their “young and stupid” excuses, to Rush Limbaugh and Rohm Emanuel arguing over who wants to get us out of economic mess less; there are no shortage of Tools out there.

With the overabundance of Tools around these days, VH1 (naturally) rounded up the nine biggest Tools in America who were stupid enough to think they were actually competing for the title of Mr. Awesome. But much like life, the joke was on them as their girlfriends had enrolled them in the Tool Academy to make them better people and boyfriends. But on the bright side, to get into this charm school they didn’t have to make out with Bret Michaels or Flavor Flav.

Nor did they have to be judged by one of the least classy person in America, or England for that matter in Sharon Osborne. Instead we get “relationship expert” Trina Dolenz, who may or may not be related to the dude from The Monkees. Granted she was just a pasty because like all of these “better one’s self” shows, the eliminations were arbitrary and inconsistent where most eliminations were not because they were the biggest Tool but they made for the least interesting television. Which is what kept Tommy and Shawn around to the final four when they should have been the first two out based on their actions.

The one misstep the show took was they each Tool their own moniker, such as Tiny Tool and Naked Too for the two finalists, but still had the host go by their own name, or silly self given pseudonym like Matsuflex and Celebrity, when they should have taken a page out of Flavor Flav’s notebook and continually call them by their Tool given name. Other than that, there were not any other flaws aside from the stupid girls who decided to stay with their Tools despite getting kicked out early (two of the nine decided to not break up with their expelled Tools despite stating the Tool Academy was the last stop). Although we will have to wait until next week at the reunion show to see if they kept their snap judgments.

In the end Josh was the lone Tool to graduate and got his very first diploma ever. And in a twist I would guest the other Tools were happy to avoid, the host said that their families were waiting to get married right there and then. Granted I debate the validity of the union because what self respecting minister would officiate a wedding on a show called Tool Academy? And he conspicuously didn’t mention who vested the authority of him to deem such a thing legal. But in the end IO hope they rush into production Tool Academy2 and if we are really lucky we may one day get a Celebrity edition featuring some of the earlier mentioned Tools. Or possibly a spin off realty show where Matuflex, his girl Jenna Fenton move in with her Deacon father.

Tool Academy gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.