Monday, February 03, 2014

Super Bowl Shuffle 2014


This year is the tenth anniversary of the infamous wardrobe malfunction which means thing could be ready to get frisky again. But alas, nothing exciting happened, the Red Hot Chili Peppers did not even come out in their signature socks. But that Super Bowl also was the start of an improbable run where the games were more entertaining than the Super Bowl with every game still undecided going into the fourth quarter. Awe, parity. That streak was broken this year when the Seahawks drummed the Broncos in a Super Bowl reminiscent of all the blow outs in the eighties and nineties. With the all around bad play and ugly orange jerseys, I thought maybe Denver was switched out with the Browns. Of course that may be the only way Cleveland could get to play in a Super Bowl. But hey, just like the old NFL ads said, everyone is undefeated today. Of course then the Browns will just pick another thirty year old quarterback in the draft in April. But anyway, here are some other thoughts on the big game.

- Wait, so Queen Latifah did not awkwardly marry people before Madonna came out of no where for no reason. Well that was a disappointing way to start the show.

- The Broncos had six captains? How is that even legal? I understand thre, one for each phase of the game, but at that point, just send out your whole team.

- Now that is how you start a Super Bowl. How much did safety on the first play pay off? Makes you wonder how different the game would have been if that first hand off came off without a hitch.

- Two really dumb challenges at the start of the game by both coaches. Not that it mattered.

- So what exactly what was that Seinfeld thing for? It was not an ad (that I understand). It was not NBC resurrecting their golden goose. Just an odd piece of nostalgia because the game took place in New York City.

- Bruno Mars really is the modern day James Brown. You know if James Brown wrote bland pop songs. But just a random transition to Give it Away. And then Bruno just had to run the momentum by finishing the set with the super boring Just the Way You Are.

- Micheal Strahan is not a very good interviewer, how about going with Erin Andrews for the biggest interview of the year?

- Enough football, here are the best commercials from this year's game:

1. The Phone Call: RadioShack Commercial


2. Big Game Ad Starring Terry Crews and the Muppets | 2014 Toyota Highlander
3. NFL draft with Deion Sanders (I cannot seem to find a link; this is almost a big a fail as Super Bowl Shuffle no longer being on YouTube)
4. Ian Up For Whatever TV 60 -- 2014 Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial | Bud Light
5. Jaguar 2014 Big Game Commercial | British Villains
6. Budweiser Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial -- "Puppy Love"
7. Ellen Features in "The Right Music" for Beats Music and AT&T
8. Ford "Nearly Double" Big Game Ad | Rob Riggle & James Franco
9. Wonderful Pistachios Stephen Colbert Super Bowl Commercial 2014, Part 2
10. Audi 2014 Big Game Commercial - Doberhuahua

And since the great philopher Butt-Head once pondered, how we know what was cool if there weren't stuff that sucked, here are the commercials that were complete waste of four million dollars.

1. Doritos® - Time Machine -- Crash the Super Bowl Top 5 Finalist
2. 2014 Volkswagen Game Day Commercial: Wings
3. Cool Twist-- 2014 Super Bowl XLVIII Commercial | Bud Light
4. Tim Tebow shows you what you can do with #nocontract |T-Mobile Commercial
5. Dannon Oikos Greek Yogurt - The Spill

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