First Impressions - America's Next Top Model Cycle 6

I have to come clean about something; I have never watched America’s Next Top Model. You’d think hot chicks where little to no clothing would be appointment television for me but alas, things like that don’t really peak my interest. But with ANTM taking over the Veronica Mars timeslot, Lost being a repeat and nothing worth watching at 8:00 on Wednesday (seriously, how is Freddie still on the air?), I thought I’d give the 6th Cycle a try. And therein lies the problem with ANTM is there has already been five season and the only winner I can name is the chick that hooked up with Peter Brady. Um, what was her name again? But anyways. I have watch a second of American Karaoke contest but I know Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

My first thought while watching the show is why I haven’t watched this before. Maybe the whole hot chicks in little clothing wasn’t as overrated as I thought. First thing some of the girls did upon arriving at their new house was hop in the hot tub and get naked. Let me repeat that last sentence if you weren’t paying attention. First thing some of the girls did upon arriving at their new house was hop in the hot tub and get naked. I think Tek and Ruthie from Real World: Hawaii were the only reality cast mates to get naked faster. But here’s the problem with this is that once you’ve seen a chick wear nothing but blurred pixels, what else is there to look forward to?

The show starts off by narrowing the first thirty-two contestants solely by an interview process by Tyra and (what could be the best line I’ve heard in a week) Mr. and Mrs. Jay. The only thing of note here was how disturbing the chick from Ohio’s feet were. They were kick her out of bed disgusting.

Next they reduced the group that was left even more to the final thirteen by having the girls do their own makeup for a close-up photo shoot. And here is where the show really irritated me by dumping the self proclaimed conservative Dani from Texas. You got to give it up to any chick who stated she hates gay people when trying out for a profession that is filled with gay people. Then at dinner she insulted half of the contestants by saying black people wrongly get preferential treatment. Racism hasn’t been this hot since Kate Bosworth in Remember the Titans. Unfortunately she didn’t make the final cut as they instead gave a spot to a chick from New Orleans as Tyra stated how it wasn’t a pity selection, pretty much ensuring that it was, in fact, pity selection. Hopefully Dani gets picked up by another reality show soon preferable the Real World basically so we can see a showdown between her and Coral at a future Real World/Road Rules challenge.

It was all downhill from there, well asides from the hot tub scene. For their first assignment, the girls were to go bald. From the moment they mention this was the first shoot in the new evil TV Guide, I knew they wouldn’t shave the girls head and instead have them put on bald caps, and that was indeed the case (oh I almost forgot the coked up Janice Dickenson made an appearance during some press conference thing). And much like Natalie Portman, none of the girls could pull of the bald look and still be attractive. Instead most of them looked like castoff from a Coneheads sketch. In the end it came down to Furonda and Kathy, both who I pegged to be out early, with Kathy ultimately getting the boot. Here are some of my predictions:

Winner: NNenna
Backup Choice: Sara
Most Likely to Slap Someone: Jade
Next to Go: Mollie Sue
Axed Contestant I’d Like to Hang With: Dani
Contestant I’d Most Like to Have Dirty, Dirty Sex With: Kari (at right)


Verdict: Had they kept Dani around, I would have watched every second she was there, but know I may turn into Veronica Mars early to see if anything exciting is coming in the future.