Saturday, March 11, 2006

Big Head Barry and the Monsters - Book Review Edition


Big Head Paula?  Nope, it's just Barry Bonds in a wigIt’s been a while since I wrote about my favorite oversized dome, but it’s been quite since took most of last season off. Then spring training came around and all of the sudden it looked as if Barry grew a sense of humor and participated in a Giants Karaoke contest for the rookie donning a wig and playing the part of even though the equal annoying Simon Cowell would have been the obvious choice. And just as everyone started to praise for actually participating with teammates for presumable the first time, the next day it came out this was just part of his new reality series for .

Then, almost on cue, posts excerpts from a new book, Game of Shadows, in the magazine and on its website that goes into great detail of Barry’s alleged steroid abuse. The book is by San Francisco Chronicle writers Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams the same guy that brought us the leaked grand jury testimony where Big Head Barry stated he never knowingly took steroids. In it the writers go through the laundry list of illegal substances that led to Barry’s oversized head including the now infamous Cream and the Clear, Stanozolol, the drug that was the result of Ben Johnson’s failed drug test, testosterone and human growth hormones, which Bond’s dealer, Greg Anderson, bought off of AIDS patients, insulin, Mexican beans, trenbolone, a steroid used in beef cattle, and my personal favorite Clomid, a drug doctors prescribe to women for infertility, which could explain why he would put on a dress to play Abdul.

But what could be the worst part of the book is not all the drugs Barry took, most people have come to realize some of the biggest names of the past ten years have been doing the same thing, it’s why he took them, jealousy. Throughout the nineties Barry was building up a resume of someone who could be in the talk with the all time greats racking up MVP’s and Gold Gloves with equal parts power and speed. Then in 1998 shattered the single season home run record to much fan fare and Bonds became relatively forgotten. After that, Bonds knowing he was more talented than McGwire decided to start taking steroids like McGwire to even the playing field and once again put himself in the rightful place, on top.

At left is your brains, at right is your brains on steriods


This book will again be another stain for Commissioner Bud Selig who has made poor judgment after poor judgment throughout his tenure. Word is that Selig is considering suspending Bonds but it’s doubtful that will fly as the players association will shoot down any kind of suspension. But here’s a suggestion for Bud that could save his legacy, and I’m not referring to the lame World Baseball Classic, ban Barry Bonds, or Bar-roid as Jim Rome would say, from baseball. Yeah the entire book is allegations by people with questionable credibility, but weren’t Pete Rose’s ban based on allegations by equally shady people? And unlike Rose, Bond has physical evidence against him (see above). I don’t want to hear how steroid were not banded by baseball during Bond’s run, they were still illegal in this country and were known to give the user an unfair advantage. And I don’t care if they need to take down McGwire, , , , and the rest of the Monsters to do it.


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