You Sell Any Universal Remotes Here?

It probably won’t take a long time reader here at the 9th Green to realize that a review of a Adam Sandler movie won’t be the most unbiased review out there. But much like his other past dumb comedies, Click made into my DVD library. But unlike his previous movies, Sandler doesn’t play the lovable loser. Instead he is a fairly successful architect who close to making partner and he already has the girl in the form of Kate Beckinsale (Serendipity) who seems to like to walk around in pajama short shorts and tight fitting shirt.

Okay, so not everything is perfect as he is having trouble balancing his family and doing enough at work to be made partner. The pressure culminates when he has to do research on Asian architecture so he can land a prestigious Japanese client only to turn on a remote control car while trying to play a video on the subject. So it’s time to a universal remote so he doesn’t open his garage door every time he tries to turn on the television. But the only place that is open at the time is Bed, Bath, and Beyond where Sandler has to venture into the Beyond where he runs into the last person you want to meet at the end of a dark hallway, Mr. Cowbell himself, Christopher Walken.

As anyone who saw the trailer can figure up, the remote that Walken gives Sandler is truly a universal remote as it gives Sandler the power to control his whole universe. He can fast forward threw fights with his wife, mute annoying people, and pause to kick someone in the crotch without them knowing (hey it’s an Adam Sandler movie; you need your prerequisite object to the crotch). No remote control gag goes unused. Well except for close captioning. But anyways. Unfortunately for Sandler the remote comes with Tivo so it starts predicting his habits and starts to fast forwards even when he doesn’t want to do so. And unfortunately for us as Sandler goes further in the future, the sappier the movie gets and almost plays out like A Christmas Carol with Walken playing all three ghosts.

But luckily there are plenty of fart jokes and other sophomoric gags that you would expect from a Sandler movie that keeps the sappy parts from being unwatchable. Plus Sandler brings in some of his past coworker who knock the comedy out of the park including The Fonz (The Waterboy), Sean Austin (50 First Dates), Terry Crews (The Longest Yard), and of course Rob Schneider who seems to pop up in every of his movie, but you will have to look in the deleted scenes to hear his catchphrase, “You can do it!” The best cameo though goes to James Earl Jones who you will just have to see the movie to see how he is used. But when it comes down to it, if you love Sandler, you will love this movie, but if you’re not, you are complete and total tool and need to get a sense of humor.

Click gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Don't Download These Videos vol. V

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


The Saints Are Coming - U2 and Green Day



There’s a good chance you have already seen this video considering it’s already logged over a million views on YouTube in under a week but it’s worth another look. The most powerful image is that of the fighter jets flying over the Superdome. Chilling. The song was supposed to be available in iTunes in starting November, but I have yet to see it. The song of course will be part of the upcoming single disk Greatest Hits. Granted I can’t endorse any U2 retrospective that doesn’t include All I Want Is You.


Bones - The Killers



Much like the album Sam's Town (see Nobody Ever Had a Dream Round Here), the video for the latest Killers video is a little bit of a letdown. Yeah the video is great, but I was expecting something more along the lines of Tim Burton’s to stop motion movies. Instead we get a mix with live action that looks more Army of Darkness than Nightmare before Christmas. Leave it to The Killers to make something great and be disappointing at the same time.


High School Never Ends - Bowling for Soup



Okay the song isn’t as close as catchy as 1984, but the latest video from Bowling for Soup is equally, if not more entertaining as its predecessor. My personal favorite of the montages has to be the wedgies one. Brings back fond memories for me (but I hope that the revenge doesn’t happen to me at my High School reunion).


For Us - Pete Yorn



I’m still warming up to the latest album by Pete Yorn (see Walk Me Out in the Morning Sun) and this video is helping the cause out. Granted I’m not entirely sure exactly what’s going on, but there’s a good laugh when Pete’s making googlily eyes at the cartoon bird in its dream. Brilliant.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 5

We are down to the last two Toss Up’s of this year as Lost will soon go on hiatus until February (luckily Veronica Mars won't) because people actually though all the repeats are why Lost took a creative dive last year and not all the long stretches of boring scenes and to numerous to count unanswered questions. Morons. But enough ranting on stupid people, it’s time for the Toss Up:


Still Has Trust Issues
Lost: Eko’s brother could never trust his motives
Veronica Mars: Even after all they have been through Vee still can’t trust Weevil
Winner: Lost


On Video
Lost: Weird dude with an eye patch in another hatch
Veronica Mars: Claire’s boyfriend
Winner: Lost


Neckwear
Lost: The crucifix Eko took from his brother
Veronica Mars: The necklace that Lily gave to Veronica
Winner: Veronica Mars


Costumes
Lost: The Others all dressed up like cultists for the one chick’s funeral
Veronica Mars: My sources tell me Logan and Ronnie dressed up like The White Stripes for Halloween
Winner: Veronica Mars


Kidnapped for Operation
Lost: The Others kidnapped Jack to operate on Not-Henry’s tumor
Veronica Mars: The Dean kidnapped his step-son’s father for bone marrow
Winner: Veronica Mars


Folk Hero
Lost: Juliet emulated Bob Dylan’s Subterranean Homesick Blues in her video to Jack
Veronica Mars: Johnny Cash’s Busted played over a montage of people appropriately getting busted
Winner: Veronica Mars


Memory Lane
Lost: Eko relieved his previous flashback
Veronica Mars: Pizza boy reminded Vee all the cool things she did in high school
Winner: Veronica Mars


Stolen Goods
Lost: Vaccines
Veronica Mars: Rich kids gambling money
Winner: Lost


Questions From Young Kids
Lost: “Are you a good man?”
Veronica Mars: “Shouldn’t you be, like, smart?”
Winner: Veronica Mars


Alias
Lost: Not-Henry took the name Henry Gale, referencing The Wizard of Oz
Veronica Mars: Keith took the name Adian Monk referencing Monk
Winner: Lost


Who’s?
Lost: Who’s that new chick that went to the Pearl station?
Veronica Mars: Who’s Pam?
Winner: Veronica Mars


Shocker
Lost: Eko dies
Veronica Mars: Claire lied about her boyfriend
Winner: Veronica Mars


An easy win for Veronica Mars as Lost slipped into season two mode with an uninteresting story. And with all three new cast members of that season now dead it’s almost an indication that season two was a failure. This especially true with Eko as he quickly became the most interesting character on the show only to be ruined by bad writing and flashbacks that made little sense. There was so much they could have done with Eko but squandered him for most of last season.

Then there is the question of why did Eko died? He came face to face with the Black Smoke last year and lived so why kill him now? And can we assume that the Black Smoke can take human form and that Eko wasn’t hallucinating his brother but it was instead the Black Smoke? And does that mean it was the Black Smoke that took the shape of Jack’s dad back in season one when Jack saw him, and same with Kate’s horse, Sawyer’s boar? But you know none of these questions will answered next week because Lost only raises new questions on finales, not answers them. And surly we won’t know for a few months who eye patch dude was. But is it safe to assume that the eyeball the tailies found back in the other station is this guys?

Then there’s the Jack storyline which I can’t make sense of either because the Others always seem to have the most elaborate plans so you can’t really tell if Not-Henry isn’t in on Juliet’s video. For all we know Not-Henry may not really have a tumor and that’s a set up for something else. But if he does, wouldn’t it have been a lot easier when the plane crashed and you learn one of the members is a spinal surgeon to just go to the camp and ask, “hey could you please remove this tumor” instead of concocting a plan that would take a couple months to complete?


Now onto the less aggravating show, Veronica Mars which had another solid episode this week. But I’m beginning to think the show is unable to produce a great episode that doesn’t include Dick. You know he would be a fan of gambling, couldn’t they put him in the casino. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to see what Dick would come up with for a Halloween costume? Plus the lack of Piz and Parker is just getting more annoying. How can I care about characters that aren’t there week in and week out? For those keeping track at home, out of the five episodes this season, Piz has been in only two. And that is the same number for Mac, Weevil, and Lamb.

But even without Dick there was plenty of high comedy including Lamb’s robot dance, Ronnie laying the smackdown to the little girl, “Who’s Pam?” and Ronnie’s number one fan at the pizza place even I the character was played by that annoying kid from Punk’d. The second and third storylines seemed to fall flat with the Dean and Wallace cheating but they my set up better things to come. And as much of a Johnny Cash fan I am, hearing him on Veronica Mars just doesn’t fit. Unless maybe it’s fro the American Recording era.

But back to the rap case, with what we leaned this week, my way out there theory from a couple weeks ago that it’s the Lilith behind the rapes my not far off. She may have just been the sacrificial lamb who got her head shaved to pin the crime on the Lampoon guys who said they’d rape the one in the middle two weeks back. She then lied about her boyfriend to make it look like she didn’t willingly had sex and doesn’t wear a wig like the other victims to bring more attention to the crime.

Next week on Lost we get the last episode for about four months and surely we won’t get answers but plenty of questions to ponder over those four months. Then on Veronica Mars we get an episode called Hi-Infidelity which may or may not be a reference to the great John Cusack movie High Fidelity (or possible the book the movie was based on) but hopefully not the REO Speedwagon album of the same name as the episode. It may also be referencing the Regina Spektor song Fidelity that played at the end of the football player episode. I found it odd that the show was playing a break-up song when Logan and Vee were ending their fight, but maybe it was just a sign of what was to come which would be great because I always thought Ronnie should dump Logan and start wearing an I (Heart) Dick t-shirt.

When Darkness Veils the World Four Warriors of Light Shall Come

Like many guys my age, a good deal of my childhood devoted to the original Nintendo and while many of the games at the time took just hours to complete, there was one game that stood out due to its massiveness, Final Fantasy. The game luckily didn’t live up to its name as it just saw the twelfth installment yesterday. I have yet to pick up the latest installment yet, but if you suddenly see a slow down in the amount of posts here, there is a good chance I did making my Final Fantasy library complete again. The game though is this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame. And though the original game seemed to take forever back then to finish (but pales in the length of current games) it still had plenty of replay value as you mix and match your party and decide what was easier an all Warrior team or all Black Mage party? And so began the Final Fantasy addiction.

Granted I want as enthralled with the second edition as the first and took a long break from the series mostly because they didn’t release three, four, five, or six in the United States. It wasn’t until the mid nineties that my love affair with the franchise started up again after buying the original Playstation and picking up right around the time Final Fantasy VIII, but I had to first go back and play VII first mostly because I’m anal retentive because there really isn’t any need to play them in order do to that none of the games were true sequels up to that point aside from dudes named Sid showing up occasionally. Widely regarded as the best game in the series, Final Fantasy VII was unfortunately spoiled for me when one of buddies walked in on me playing while in the early stages of the game and asked “Have you got to the part where the chick dies yet?” But even after the chick actually dies, I actually expected that she would eventually be brought back to life but she was surprisingly never does.

The following games released on the original Playstation were just as good and expansive as the previous game where you waste fifty plus hours trying to get to the end and you can log over a hundred hours to complete everything the game has to offer including vast side missions. In fact whereas all the fanboys rave about VII, the eighth installment may be better. Yeah VII had the shocker in the middle, VIII had a more interesting storyline, less convoluted characters and the game is where Sqauresoft mastered the Playstation dynamics and produced much better graphic and stunning cut scenes. And though IX got blasted for its cartoonish look, it did see the return of the Black Mage from the original and was still worth the time suck. But those who didn’t care for the cartoon must have really hated the Kingdom Hearts spin off complete with Disney characters, both of which I’ve played because I’m that obsessed with Final Fantasy. I even have the movie on DVD as well as picking up the reissued games that came out for the Playstation of the Nintendo games that weren’t originally released here. But I drew the line at Final Fantasy XI because I’m not that big of a nerd to play a massively multiplayer online game.

The main reason I picked the PS2 over the other consoles of its generation had to do with Sony’s exclusive Final Fantasy rights. The tenth volume was a bit of a disappointment because one of the great parts of all the previous installments were their vast landscapes that you can transverse wherever you want once you get the required modes of transportation. But on Final Fantasy X, as well as the first real sequel Final Fantasy X-2, there were very linier maps. Hopefully they go back to the expansive maps for VII which I hope to put off to buying until summer where I’ll have more free time due to nothing worth watching on television. But if I get it earlier, you may expect post to become more sporadic because once I start a Final Fantasy game, I can’t put it down until I’ve finished.

I'm Kevin Federline America's Most Hated

There is no more appropriate time for Kevin Federline to release an album than on Halloween. But instead of writing up a proper review, here is a video that best sums up Playing with Fire (replay five times for proper effect):



Many thanks to Best Week Ever for creating the clip but many apologies to U2 for having their great song tarnished by Federline. But in all seriousness, Playing with Fire sounds much like almost every other rap album released by a Jay-Z wannabe in the past seven years. Mediocre to poor rapping: check. Anemic beats: check. Pop singer providing the hook: check in form of wife Britney Spears. Braggadocios topics ranging from all the bling he has to being a pimp: check. To Federline’s credit he did avoid one of the worst rap album clichés in that there are very few guest appearances and it is pretty much just him rapping on the album. And even though the album is bad, at least it’s not Paris Hilton bad (see my review: Since I'm Already Screwed Here's a Message to You).

Song to Download - Just replay the video one more time

Playing with Fire gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

We on Award Tour: Big in 2006 Nominations

Yeah we havn’t even reached November yet, but that hasn’t stopped media outlet’s from trying to be the first to get out their Year End Wrap Out. I wouldn’t be surprised that within five years someone will be doing their Year End Extravaganza in August. But anyways. The first to reminisce about the year that was is VH1 that recently opened it’s voting for the Big in 06 Awards, click the link to vote yourself and much like the mid term elections next year, be sure to vote early, vote often., but don’t vote for the incumbents. The Big show will air December 3rd and be hosted by D.L. Hughley of the hopefully not canceled Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip who did a great job hosting the show a couple years back during the Paris Hilton sex tape era. No performers have been announced yet buy if there are any VH1 executives that are reading this, you must do everything in your power to make sure a “Weird Al” Yankovic / Chamillionaire duet happens.And now this years nominees as well as who I voted for in italics:


Big Entertainer
YouTube
Dane Cook
Jessica Simpson
Steve Carell
Johnny Depp

Gee, it looks like someone has a vested interest in the DVD sales of Employee of the Month. Way to honor Cook long after no one finds him funny anymore. And since when does two movie flops and dismal sales of an album make you a Big Entertainer? Two spots that could have went to Gnarls Barkley. Personally my vote is based on who took up the most of my time in 2006 and that was easily YouTube.


Big Reality Star

No nominees just yet. Right now you can nominate your favorite. I nominated Casey from the Real World/Road Rules Challenges: Fresh Meat/The Duel. Casey is easily the most entertaining reality star that MTV has produced in years. From fights the fights with her partner Wes, to making it to the finals without any physical attributes. Then coming back for The Duel admitting she spent her prize money on a new set of breasts. The final four will be announced November 14th and you can vote on them then. And here is who would fill out my top four: Flavor Flav (Flavor of Love), Josh (Beauty and the Geek), and Danielle’s Breasts (Survivor: Exile Island).


Big TV Star
John Stewart
Ellen Degeneres
Patrick Dempsey
Keifer Sutherland

Who would have thought back in the late eighties that twenty years later that the dudes from Can’t Buy Me Love and The Lost Boys would be nominated for this award. Granted I don’t watch either show, so I’ll go with who used to have a talk show on MTV. And where is Earl Hickey?


Big Musical Artist
Justin Timberlake
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Pussycat Dolls
Shakira

No Gnarls Barkley, no, Fray, no Christina Aguilera, no Killers, no “Weird Al” yet the Pussycat Dolls get nominated. It’s official, 2006 sucked.


Big Download
Jump in My Car - David Hasselhoff
London Bridge - Fergie
White and Nerdy - “Weird Al” Yankovic
Here it Goes Again - OK Go
What’s a Date - Lonely Girl Fifteen

This is an odd category because most of these were YouTube phenomenon and you can’t actually download those videos. But I’m just knick picking. If we are going by number of YouTube views though, then OK Go should win by a landslide, but nothing beats “Weird Al” in entertainment value.


Big Mama
Madonna
Britany Spears
Katie Holmes
Brooke Shields

Yeah, this is a pretty lame category. And you can tell that the nominees were chosen in the short span between when Madonna adopted her African baby and when the father wanted the boy back.


Big Breakthrough
The Cast of High School Musical
Jamie Pressly
Steven Colbert
Sasha Baron Cohen

It looks like VH1 also has vested interest in the Borat movie by putting Cohen in the category before he even broke threw. And not to sound like a broken record but where is Gnarls Barkley. When VH1 does I Love the 00’s you know Crazy will get plenty of screen time for the 2006 episode. But of the nominees you have to go with Pressley because after staring in cinematic gems like Poison Ivy 3 and the Jerry Springer movie, she somehow became the most entertain part of the funniest show on television.

Big Comeback
Rosie O'Donnell
Al Gore
David Hasselhoff
Howie Mandel
New Orleans Saints

Much like Madonna not getting her African baby, the Saints got spanked in New Orleans shortly after the nominees were announced. Yet another reason not to do your best of the year thing before Halloween. But I voted for them just because the other nominees are iffy with two coming back via a reality show and a game show. And how can Rosie be considered a comeback when she went from her own talk show to sharing time with the chick from Survivor and two other blowhards. Maybe I should vote for Gore because the last time I didn’t vote fore him bad things happens.


Hot It Girl
Katherine Heigl
Katharine McPhee
America Ferrera
Vanessa Minnillo

Four chicks from four shows I avoid like the plague. Let’s see here, one stared in a movie that not only did no one see, I don’t must people have even heard of it (Side Effects anyone? And did anyone see the Ringer while I’m at it?) another can pull off ugly way too easy (remember the nerdy version of Rachel Lee Cook in She’s All That was stilly pretty hittable), and one has Nick Lashey stench on her. And I don’t really follow the karaoke circuit, but didn’t the last one lose? And not only lost but lost to a dude even older than me? I went with Minnillo just because she the one I’d most want to have dirty, dirty sex with which says a lot considering the whole Lashey thing. Seriously where’s Scarlett Johansson, Evangeline Lilly and Kristen Bell, can’t we resurrect Rachel McAdams career for this please. I’d even take the chicks from High School Musical or Cassie over these girls.


Big Outlaw
Paris Hilton (DUI)
Willie Nelson (Drug Possession)
Mel Gibson (DUI)
Dick Chaney (Shot Dude in the Face)

Another reason why the awards are too soon in the year, they missed Snoop Dogg’s double whammy of drug and weapon charges on two separate occasions at an airport. Despite being the only one on the list that wasn’t actually charged, I went with Cheney solely in the hope that he shows up to accept the award and inadvertently shooting Hilton in the face.


Big Power Couple
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline
Beyoncé and Jay-Z

Another lame award. I just went for the boys again just to see the acceptance speech which could be interrupted by Jake Gyllenhaal who was jealous that he wasn’t nominated with them.


Big Shocker
North Korea Tests a Nuke
Mark Foley Gets Caught
John Mark Carr Confesses
Bill Clinton Losses His Cool

It is well known that Kim Jong Il love Hollywood so if you tell him Clint Eastwood id there, he may just show up to accept the award so that why I voted for him. And if he doesn’t show you have the potential for the Kim Jong Il marionette from Team America to accept the award; either way this could be the most entertaining part of the whole show.

Ehlo's Revenge

Despite rarely ever watching the sport lately, I still participate in the fantasy version. Like much of my drafts lately, I got yet another late draft position drafting here eleventh out of twelve. But that only makes it sweeter when I win. Now here is the roster for Ehlo’s Revenge:


PG - Kirk Hinrich (Chicago Bulls)
SG - Ray Allen (Seattle Supersonics)
G - Jameer Nelson (Orlando Magic)
SF - Carmelo Anthony (Denver Nuggets)
PF - Adam Morrison (Charlotte Bobcats)
F - Shane Battier (Houston Rockets)
C - Chris Bosh (Toronto Raptors)
C --empty--
Util - Randy Foye (Minnesota Timberwolves)
Util - Speedy Claxton (Atlanta Hawks)
BN - Danny Granger (Indiana Pacers)
BN - Shaun Livingston (Los Angeles Clippers)
BN - Tyrus Thomas (Chicago Bulls)
BN - Rajon Rondo (Boston Celtics)

Yeah I didn’t draft enough centers, but there are only about five quality centers in the league, so getting centers were not high on my priority list. But I did work out a trade after the draft to send Granger to another team for Nendad Krstic who I was looking into drafting with my pick after Granger before other team poached him. But in the end I’ll be trading a bench player for a starter which is always a good thing.

I inadvertently went young this year with only one player with more than five years of service as well as four rookies, two of which I have starting so hopefully they all live up to the hype because this will be a really good or really bad season for me. And even though I haven’t watched and NBA game in two years, I still going to give my picks for the year:

Atlantic Division: New Jersey Nets
Central Division: Chicago Bulls
Southeast Division: Miami Heat
Southwest Division: San Antonio Spurs
Northwest Division: Denver Nuggets
Pacific Division: Phoenix Suns
Eastern Conference Championship: Heat over Bulls
Western Conference Championship: Spurs over Suns
NBA Championship: Spurs over Heat

Musings From the Back 9: Music Edition III

Ludacris - Release Therapy
Before Release Therapy dropped, Ludacris declared that this would be the album that the rap game would take him seriously not just a jester who would sport five foot afros and The Hulk hands in videos and even shaved his trademarck braids in the process. Then he goes and releases Moneymaker as the first single off the album with such thought provoking lyrics, “Took yo momma nine moths to make you, might as well shake what yo momma gave ya.” Okay, so Rakim he is not. But trying to be may not have been the best idea because the Luda created a nice niche for himself in rap but with this album, without the usual wit, he just sounds like everyone else. Then when he tries to grow out his boundaries, like with his soft diss track War with God, it just falls flat. And who exactly is he dissing here? He includes the line “Just do what your song says and shut the (expletive deleted) up” which is a line from his own Get Back. Being a rap album there are plenty of guests rappers including Young Jeezy, Field Mob, Pimp C, Beanie Sigel, and C-Murder along with hook singers, Pharrell, Bobby Valentino, R. Kelly and Mary J. Blige on the way too sentimental Runaway Love. Luda does save the best for last with church inspired Freedom of Preach where Luda takes the pulpit with Bishop Eddie L. Long. But it’s too little too late to save the album.

Release Therapy gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.


Sister Hazel - Absolutely
Remember the musical landscape of the nineties? It started out with the dark and bleak Grunge era and end with the onslaught with the uber-fluff of boy band. But somewhere in the middle there was a few years where rock music that were reminiscent of old time rock and roll ruled the charts with bands like Hootie and the Blowfish, Toad the Wet Sprocket and Better Than Ezra. One of the best songs from this period of music was All for You by Sister Hazel that was pretty much their only hit. And much like other bands from that era, are releasing an album to try to get back past success. But much like all those other bands (Better Than Ezra excluded), their new album entitled Absolutely sounds very nineties and is just a rehash of previous work granted with nothing as catchy as All for You. That doesn’t necessarily make it a bad album, This Kind of Love should be included on your next mixtape for a significant other, but the retro sound does it make a good one. Give it another decade before the nineties sound comes back in style.

Absolutely get a on my Terror Alert Scale.


Method Man - 4:21… the Day After
Method Man was always the breakout star of the Wu-Tang Clan. But to his credit, whenever the troupe reconvened for an album or tour, he was always there and would routinely recruited Clan alums to appear on his album or produce his tracks. But something seems different with his new album 4:21… the Day After, name after, well, just think of what the day before 4:21 is, and if you still don’t get it, the opening starts off with a “make marijuana legal” chant. But the album sounds overproduced thanks to weak tracks from Scott Storch, the guy who brought us Paris Hilton and Brooke Hogan. And for a guy from the dirty slums of Shaolin, his music should never sound overproduced. Bad production aside, Meth can still spit some quality although he lets his guest outshine him occasionally like the late great Ol’ Dirty Bastard on Dirty Mef and running mate Redman on Walk On, the standout track, and Red even has the best line on the album with “I’ll blow your mind like Kurt Cobain.” Lauryn Hill also makes a great appearance on Say. But some of the guests, like Morbidly Obese Joe on Ya’Meen, turns what should be a great track into a mediocre one.

4:21… the Day After gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Yippee-I-Yay Yippee-I-Yo

When it comes to “Weird Al” Yankovic, it’s always the parodies that get all the press, but for me, it’s the polkas that make the album. The parodies are always hit are miss, but Al has never made a bad polka and can usually turn an unlistenable song, much like the Pussycat Dolls Don’t Cha on his latest album, into thoroughly enjoyable medleys. If you are like me and find Al’s polka medleys entertaining, here’s a band for you: Me First and the Gimme Gimmes who take pop songs, but there genre of choice is punk. Comprised of members of NOFX and Foo Fighters, the band has been converting songs into punk since 1995 and you have not lived until you have heard their rendition of R. Kelly’s I Believe I Can Fly.

After albums featuring songs from the 60’s and 70’s (Have a Ball), show tunes (Are a Drag), R&B (Take a Break), as well the live album Ruin Johnny’s Bar Mitzvah which was recoded live at some dude named Johnny’s actual Bar Mitzvah. But on Love Their Country, the boys naturally focus on country music. Now even if you are like me and avoid country like the plague, you will most likely still recognize most of the songs here like On the Road Again (Willie Nelson), I’m So Lonely I Could Cry (Hank Williams Sr.), Looking for Love (Johnny Lee). Also look out for other country artists that actually don’t suck like Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers (not to be confused with the cheating baseball player), John Denver, and The Eagles, and yes Desperado is basically a country song.

But the highlights of the album are their versions of Dolly Parton’s Jolene and the Dixie Chick’s Goodbye Earl if only it’s extremely hilarious hearing a dude singing very female specific lyrics which they don’t change at all. If there is one complaint it would be that the band chooses Garth Brooks Much Too Young (To Feel This Damn Old) with the begging to be mocked Friends in Low Places. Well that and the under a half an hour run time. Plus the album has the potential to get old real quick, but I’m just knit picking here.

Song to Download - Goodbye Earl

Love Their Country gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Toss Up: Lost vs Veronica Mars week 4

Before I get to this week Toss Up between Lost and Veronica Mars, I just have to say Dick making a house call to the Mars apartment may have been the greatest scene in the whole series, from Dick saying he once picked up his maid there, to “Why rape a cow when you’re swimming in free milk,” to Dick calling the Mars kitchenette cute, and Dick saying thanks threw the door because Ronnie told him to leave now before she changed her mind. The Dick and Ronnie scenes are always the best so it make me wonder how long until Vee sports an “I (Heart) Dick” t-shirt. And seriously how has this scene not made it to YouTube yet? But anyways. Onto the Toss Up:


Tour around the Habitat
Lost: Not- Henry takes Sawyer up a hill to see that there are two islands
Veronica Mars: Dick invites himself around and scouts out Ronnie’s cute kitchen
Winner: Veronica Mars


Caught on Tape
Lost: Sawyer plotting his escape
Veronica Mars: The possible rapist was caught having Claire use her ATM
Winner: Lost


Back Together
Lost: Apparently the dude from The Drew Carey Show has worked with the creator of Lost before
Veronica Mars: The cast of Just Shoot Me
Winner: Veronica Mars


Welcome to the Family
Lost: Sawyer’s daughter
Veronica Mars: Logan’s half brother
Winner: Lost


Reading Material
Lost: Of Mice and Men
Veronica Mars: Heart Free Press
Winner: Lost


Double Cross
Lost: Sawyer used the dude from The Drew Carey Show to get out of jail
Veronica Mars: The dude from Calico Girls used the other Logan to scoop a story
Winner: Veronica Mars


Not
Lost: Not-Henry
Veronica Mars: Not-Charlie
Winner: Lost


Form of entertainment
Lost: Golfing with apples
Veronica Mars: Baywatch pinball machine
Winner: Veronica Mars


Forced Form of Entertainment
Lost: Watching cartoons in a shark tank
Veronica Mars: Being groped in a Boo Room
Winner: Lost


Follow the Money
Lost: Sawyer tries to make it hard for his daughter to find out who gives her money
Veronica Mars: Logan’s business made it hard to find out where his trust fund is going
Winner: Lost


Working for the Enemy
Lost: Jacks helps operate on an Other
Veronica Mars: Ronnie clears the Pi Sigs of any wrong doing
Winner: Veronica Mars


Work Clothes
Lost: Juliet wears her Dharma scrubs to operate on the dying Other
Veronica Mars: Vee wears a pants suit when interviewing the Pi Sigs
Winner: Veronica Mars


New Guys
Lost: In four episodes we’ve seen a fleeting glimpse one of the new chicks and not much more of the new dude
Veronica Mars: In four episodes, Piz has been MIA half the time and Parker was missing for one
Winner: Veronica Mars


A close win for Veronica Mars this week with both shows rebounding from poor outings last week. But here is something that is bugging me with both shows that I hinted at in the lat toss up of this week that both shows are not really doing a very good job handling the new cast members. Veronica Mars has done slightly better when they introduced Piz and Parker in episode one but Piz was missing from two of the next three episodes and Parker “went to the gym” after the previous episodes mini cliffhanger where she may have gone back home with her parents. Then on Lost aside from, Juliet, we have barely seen the two newbies and four episodes in and I done even know their names. What makes this more disturbing is how bad both show did last year introducing new characters leading to Jackie being written off while Ana Lucia and Libby both got killed off. Even the regulars seem to be missing this year as we have only seen Weevil, Lamb, Sun, Jin, Sayid, Eko once each this year. Of course I’m just saying this because I want to see more of Parker especially if she continues to wear her Jersey Mall hair wig.


Some big news on Lost this week, of course none of which answered any questions but instead raised some more, the biggest being that there are two islands. Now we know exactly why Not-Henry didn’t want Sayid to have the yacht. But this raises some big questions like how did Desmond not see the second island. And where exactly is the town we saw on in the opening scene of the season? It has to be on the main island if both Ethan and Goodwin could get there by foot, right? Or are there underground tunnels that we don’t know about? The other big unanswered question is who has the tumor on the back that Jack saw? Is this is why he was taken? Keep in mind only two more episodes new episodes until February. Oh and Sawyer is apparently a dad and Desmond can still see into the future.


Then on Veronica Mars, there was actually more happening than Dick visiting Ronnie. Dick, of course, was there to ask Vee to help get the Phi Sigs off the hook for all rapes because she did such a good job last year getting the brothers off for that rape case. Umm, did I miss something? I remember her clearing Troy’s name, but not the Phi Sigs. If fact didn’t she get them in trouble for their points board? But you got to love when she addressed the Phi Sigs as, “Dick, Chip, random Star Trek dudes.”

Then there was the whole Not-Charlie storyline, although I believe Ronnie called him Fake-Charlie instead. Great job by hyping the Logans being brothers all summer only to pull a fast one on us. I’ve never understood why people that run or act in shows don’t lie more to fight spoilers, it would at the very least more entertaining than the standard “I can’t answer that.” And then the other plot twist with the chick from Just Shoot Me who finds out that not only is her husband not cheating but he actually turned down someone’s advances.

And now for my way out there theory of the week: the rapist and the head shaver are two different people. Okay, so here’s how this plays out, after a rape occurs, the feminists swoop in and shave the heads to help their case in getting the fraternities and the Lampoon guys kicked off campus.

Don't Download These Videos vol. IV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Hurt - Christina Aguilera



Yeah the big plot twist under the big top has been done before and to better effect by U2 and in claymation by Alice in Chains, the chair spinning thing is annoying, and Christina Aguilera continues her decent in to looking more and more like a drag queen, but when it comes there are very few videos that give me the chills and this is one of them. And even though Johnny Cash’s song with the same title is much better, Xtina’s song may have something to do with the chill factor. And am I the only one who thinks her “dad” looks like the new James Bond.


Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall



Keeping with the big top theme, here’s the latest video from KT Tunstall off of her debut not the recent acoustic one. Now my courses tell me that the song has been featured in a few crappy television shows, but don’t let that negatively effect the song (same goes for Chasing Cars that has wrongfully co-opted by even crappier shows). There is also a cool CGI version (for the British I think) of the video if you can hunt that one down.

Wanted - Rhymefest



There is something seriously wrong with the charts that a fill with disposable rap songs that pretty much are the exact same song, yet the originally refreshing Rhymefest can seem to get a hit. Here’s his latest album from the film Half Nelson. To be honest one of the reasons I’m showing this video is to get more face time for the dude from The Notebook whom I used to get mistaken for back before he fell into obscurity. So hopefully this movie put him (and Rhymefest) back in the spotlight so I can get some “you remind me of the dude from The Notebook” lovin’.


Save Room - John Legend



In a story I broke yesterday, John Legend released the best baby making album of the millennium so far. Need proof? Look no further than the first single from Once Again where over the course of four minutes, Legend hooks up with as many as eight video hofessionals. My personal favorites are the token white chick and the chick in the cab. And once again, if there are any video hofessionals who would like to test out the baby making ability of the album and will be greater Cleveland area soon, shout me a holla.