Big News of the Week: You Can See the Latest NBC Shows at Blockbuster but not iTunes: Two big news items from NBC this week and I’ll start with the smaller item. Starting this Tuesday you can rent from Blockbuster stores as well as thru their online service a DVD that includes the first episodes of Chuck, Journeyman, and Life as well as a preview of Bionic Woman. If I am not mistaken, they did a similar thing last year on Netflix for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and we all know how that turned out. I always found this an odd marketing strategies as it may decrease initial rating which may hurt on the fence viewers who may not turn into the second episode fearing it would be canceled.
The bigger news is that NBC Universal has decided not to renew their contract that ends at the end of this year. And since the contract ends in the middle of the television schedule NBC has decided not to have any more new shows added to the iTunes library. I can’t say I’m too surprised by this because it seemed a little odd that it cost the same, $1.99, to buy three minute music videos, twenty minute sitcoms, and forty minute dramas. But I won’t be at all surprised if Apple unveils a pricing plan before then as Universal Music Group (are they related to NBC), the biggest record company, said they are pulling out also.
But the biggest surprise for me in this news was that NBC accounted for forty percent of all television downloads considering how they are supposedly the fourth network interims of rating. This just goes to show how big a sham the Neilson Ratings are. You are trying to tell me that a network is by far has the biggest segment of downloads, which are based on actual numbers would be all the way down at fourth in a glorified poll that are the Neilson Ratings. Seriously, what is the Neilson’s margin of error, 10%? Actually, that is a good question; does anyone know what the actual margin of error is for the Neilson Ratings? It is pretty shady that they don’t have that listed anywhere.
I have had the 9th Green Reader’s Poll up on my sidebar for album a month so I think I am going to take it down at the end of the month. If you have not taken it yet, please do so in the next week. It should only take a minute or so. And a big thanks to everyone who as already taken. Also this is your last chance to join my fantasy Dillon Panthers Football league. The live draft will take part on Yahoo this Tuesday at 9:00 PM EST. Drop me an e-mail (see sidebar) if you are interested in participating and I will give you the league ID and password.
Greek: I don’t know way, but the line Ashleigh said about needing more sleep because she was growing out her bangs out had me laughing all week. And even though they weren’t as cool as Crucifictorious but Darwin Lied was a pretty ingenious band name for a religious band. Which brings me to the best part of the episode, a new courtship for Casey in Dale. Now I know longer had to decide to root for Tool #1 (Even) or Tool #2 (Cappie) and can now root for a Dale-Casey hook-up. Speaking of hook-ups, what is with all the infidelity? Not really all the infidelity, but how all these characters can look past their partner’s infidelity so quickly? Download the current season of Greek on iTunes.
Rescue Me: You know the sign of a great character is when you start to smile just at the sight of them like with the captain’s daughter. Let’s hope the rest of the season (all two episodes) features more Amy Sedaris and less Gina Gershon.
Pick of the Week: MTV Music Video Awards, Sunday at 9:00 on MTV: I was actually excited when the show was announced, but two reasons why I was excited (Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen, have both dropped out and were replaced by T-Pain and Akon. What’s worse there is a rumor that the big “surprise” opening this year will be Britney Spears. Or as Kevin Federline will call the performance, Exhibit T in his full custody battle case. Expect a much smaller even this year as previous VMA’s had clocked in at five hours between pre, post, and the big show but is down to three hours with the pre-show starting at 8:00.
I had this up last week and I though I would put it in this post again to give something to play with as I’ll be taking tomorrow off. Below is a widget where you can vote for the Most Anticipated New Shows of Fall 2007. You can simply give it up or down votes or go to the UnSpun website and rank them in order or add new shows that aren’t on the list yet.
There were high hopes for this year’s MTV Music Video Awards after two years of well below sub-par shows. But in the end this year’s VMA’s were just as bad as the previous one with Jack Black somehow finding a way to be unfunny (and this may be a tipping point for Black after being universally panned for Nacho Libre). What was worse was for a show that has built itself of big stage productions and surprised guest, the performances seemed extremely low-budgets compared to years past and the surprised guests this year were Montel Williams, the little kid from the movie no one but movie snobs saw, and Lou Reed and the dude from ZZ Top who were most likely only there because The Raconteurs invited them. Here are more disappointing moments from the five hours of my life that I’ll never get back:
- Just as worthless as the big show was the hour and a half pre-show this basically was a vehicle for people to promote upcoming albums. Usually they have a world premiere video or exclusive interview, but nothing but two horrible performances.
- The show starts out with the chick from Kids Incorporated performing London Bridge, a song easily a lock for the Worst Songs of 2006 list. Blatant guided vocal track here as she didn’t even bother to even lip-sync half the time.
- Kurt Loder and John Norris must have something on the higher ups at the network because as MTV tries to distance itself from what it used to be (even refusing to even acknowledge it’s 25th anniversary) these two still show up every year at the VMA’s.
- Does the world really need a rock opera from My Chemical Romance? Really the world doesn’t need another album from them let along a concept album. But with the goth Sergeant Pepper garb, the creepy skeleton children’s choir, and the lead singer actually trying to sing with a fake British accent maybe the musical version of Jumping the Shark. Oh as for the premiere of their new song, it is easily a lock for the Worst Songs of 2006 list.
- Can we please end the Diddy era? The dude is now walking around with his own spokesman because he’s too elf important to talk. Really no one has capitalized on the death of someone else. Well except for all the Elvis impersonators.
- We start off the big show with Jay-Z welcoming the show back to New York City from a top of a building. This would have been a lot cooler had they not had the My Chemical Romance performance there earlier.
- Who ever decided the show should start off with a performance of a song that no one has ever heard should be fired. Worst show opening ever. When Justin Timberlake then switched to Worst Song of 2006 nominee SexyBack and brought out Big Head Timberland and a blatant guided vocal track, things didn’t get much better. What’s worse is it seems that the phrase Sexyback is going to overtake the go to phase for the corny old dudes replacing Fiddy (as in Fiddy Cent) after corny old dudes Al Gore and Jared Leto both used it.
- I kept waiting and waiting for the opening Jack Black skit to get funny, but sadly it never did. I think that it may have been the goal with the “everything going wrong” theme, but that’s just too high brow for me. Although I like how the MTV execs were the Douches. And what was with Black kissing everyone’s butt all evening? MTV really need to bring Chris Rock back.
- The first presenter is the straight from jail Lil’ Kim. Seeing her makes me wonder should you lose all the street cred you receive for going to jail but by getting released early for good behavior?
- The first shocker of the night was James Blunt for winning Best Male Video. I have a suspicion that this was a last minute decision to give him the award just to give his girlfriend some airtime.
- The least hip-hop song nominated wins Best Hip-Hop award. And up the irony quotient one of the Black Eyed Peas talked about how there is a place for positive rap as he picks up an award for a song about a woman’s naughty bits.
- Shakira and her Indian themed performance for Hips Don't Lie was probably the best of the night, but that’s not really saying much.
- Can someone please explain the allure of Jackass to me? Am I the moron for not finding naked midgets and dudes hitting each other in the testicles funny?
- Lil’ John is up next and tells everyone to get on the feet, but as the camera scans the place, everyone is as slow to get up as if a hymn started to play at church. But I can’t blame them considering it was just for Ludacris whose set looked like it was on a lower budget than most high school plays. Not a good sign for a song called Moneymaker. And had Ludacris not namedropped them, I would have never known that it was the Pussycat Dolls that came on stage at the end of the song.
- Speaking of the Pussycat Dolls, it’s sad tat we live in a world where they actually won a music award. But it’s nice that they thanked God for winning an award that tells dudes to loosen up their buttons. Classy.
- Jessica Simpson actually used the phrase “Push My Tush” while presenting the awards. I actually can feel my IQ dropping. Oh, and to follow up a story I broke here a couple days ago about her hooking up with John Mayer, just days later, Mayer posted on his blog that he really like the Public Enemy song Don’t Believe the Hype.
- OK Go redid their Here it Goes Again video with the treadmills step for step. What a waste of time. I could see the same exact routine on YouTube whenever I want, why would I want to see it live. The least they could have done was to screw p somewhere to make this performance memorable. Complete waste of time.
- What was on Paris Hilton’s head? But something has to be said that her album has been out more than a week and she has yet to perform a song live once. Even Ashlee Simpson’s people trusted her enough to lip-sync, it’s not a good sign that Paris cannot even be trusted to do that. Luckily she didn’t try doing it tonight instead she was just relegated to present the dude from Smallville and his band.
- Did some backstage dude grab Nicole Richie’s butt as she went onstage? I wonder if Nicole realized that Pink was making fun of her during her acceptance speech. I wonder if Pink realized that no one knew she was trying to be ironic.
- Did anyone else start to feel old when Snoop Dogg was talking about how all the new rappers were in diapers when he started? He then presents the Best Rap Video to Chamillionaire who said the best advice he ever got was to stay humble. Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who then named himself Chamillionaire.
- Guided Vocal Alert! Beyoncé gets no introduction and performs her second single off her new album. It’s never a good sign when a label has to rush out a second single before the album is never a good sign. Maybe we can expect that Destiny’s Child reunion sooner than later.
- T.I. is out next to perform a medley of songs I’ve never heard before and hope to never hear again.
- How funny was it that the dude who won Ringtone of the Year actually brought a list of people to thank? Apparently he didn’t get the memo that’s this was a joke award.
- It’s official, I am now totally sick of Fall Out Boy. And what was with the dude with the cape? The band is out to present Panic! at the Disco, or as I like to call it, a bathroom break. The performance would have been much better had the lead singer would have gotten hit with a bottle early in the song. If you want to see that happen, check out YouTube. Now that was entertaining.
- What's with bringing out the ten-year-old girl to the sounds of Rick James Superfreak. That is just totally wrong.
- I know that people like to make fun of past scandals but when your scandal is that you are horrible parents, it’s not a good idea to parody that sediment like Britney and her baby daddy did. Someone please send that tape to child services.
- Christina Aguilera for some reason to performed a balled. The massive guns she was showing off didn’t help with those drag queen comparisons.
- I thought they took out Michael Jackson from the Video Vangard award. Granted they have been sporatic giving it out lately. Hype Williams wins. It's sad that the rap cliches his videos created over a decade ago are still being used today.
- So AFI wins Best Rock Video and they were the only one all night who brings up the voting. This was something I was really wondering about, in the press release for the nominees, it mentioned that there was voting on the website, but I never heard anything about it after that. Nor did anything mention what the votes meant or if they meant why there was still a Viewer’s Choice Award. This is really bugging me.
- During one of their many mini-songs The Raconteurs changed the lyrics of historic song to “internet killed the video star.” Clever. Although this is about a year after I declared Podcasts Killed the Video Star.
- Worst Dressed of the night goes to Jennifer Lopez and her gypsy outfit. Seriously, who brought her out of obscurity? Can we quickly send her back there before she makes more crappy music? She appropriately presents Video of the Year to Panic! at the Disco, a crappy song to top off the crappy year.
- The night ends with The Killers. As the song ends they go to the nosebleed camera and just when you think they are setting up for something special, they cut back to Jack Black who ends the show.
We are a week away from the 2006 MTV Music Awards and I have to say that I’m actually excited. Yeah the last two installments suck and many of the performers are frontrunners for my “Worst of 2006” list, but I still have a sense of optimism. First is that the show was routinely panned by everyone the last two years while exiled in Miami, you know something big will go down as the show goes back home to New York City, hopefully that surprise isn’t as big of a let down as the Guns n’ Roses comeback three years ago. Second is that the first time since the last time Chris Rock, MTV has tapped a host that will actually be entertaining in Jack Black who did a great job co-hosting the Movie Awards a couple years back and hopefully this year’s monologue is Tenacious D heavy.
When I first reported the nominees to the VMA’s oddly enough the only category you couldn’t vote on was the Viewer’s Choice Award, but that is now up including a cool game where you can get extra points for the video of your choosing, so hear over to MTV for that. I also wonder in that post what happened to the MTV2 Award. Apparently that are indeed doing that again and you can go over to MTV2 to cast your vote, but a look at the nominees, you may just want to abstain. Personally, I voted for the award much like I’ve voted for president lately going with the one that sucked the least (for those keeping track at home, that would be Taking Back Sunday) but here are the nominees:
Stay Fly - Three 6 Mafia
The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars
Fireman - Lil’ Wayne
MakeDamnSure - Taking Back Sunday
It's Goin' Down - Yung Joc
Also since my original post, the performers and presenters list have grown. Set to hand out the Moonmen are Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (hopefully together so they can just get that out of the way), Jennifer Lopez (crap, she’s still around), Chris Brown and Ne-Yo (aren’t these the same person, I can’t tell them apart), Missy Elliott, Fall Out Boy, Rihanna, Busta Rhymes (well unless he’s in jail at the time), Lil Jon, Amy Lee of Evanescence, Jared Leto of 30 Seconds to Mars (actually I think people would more recognize the name is they said “of My So Called Life” instead), the cast of Jackass: Number Two (crap, their still around, who would have though out of all of them, Don Vito would be the only one currently in jail) and Shaun White. Joining this group is these artist jjust announced today including 50 Cent, Kanye West, Diddy, Snoop Dogg, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton (again hopefully together, seeing them catfight may be the only why I can stomach them), LL Cool J, The Pussycat Dolls and Axl Rose (seriously?). Then there are performers who I’ll predict what they will be performing (I am under the impression that The Raconteurs are the house band as that is what they were originally booked as, but recently they have been listed under performers so who knows):
Beyoncé: This should be interesting because, as my sources tell me, she already debut her new single on the BET Awards so I’m betting she shows off her new all-female band with a medley of songs of her yet to be released album while everyone is at home is bored because they don’t recognize the song. It may be saved as the performance screams surprise guest, and I’m not talking Jay-Z.
Justin Timberlake: Speaking of yet to be released album, it’s a lock that JT will lip-syncing the cheesily named SexyBack with Big Head Timbaland doing his part. Much like when he debut the uer-horrible Like I Love You a couple years back no guest appearance can save this stinkfest, even a dude on dude kiss from Lance Bass.
Christina Aguilera: Since no other man was performed at the Movie Awards, the safe bet is that she will perform the new single Candyman next week. With the 50’s feel (in fact it blatantly steals from a song from that era I’m too lazy to look up) I wouldn’t be surprised if the turn the screen to black and white throughout the performance.
Panic! at the Disco: Since I’m not a fourteen year old white girl, I could care less but most likely will be the song that got all the nominations.
T.I.: Since I’m not a fourteen year old white girl, I could care less but will most likely be the song where he steals a line from A Tribe Called Quest (didn’t he make his career stealing a line from Jay-Z?).
The Killers: With there album not out yet, the new single, When You Were Young will get the nod. With Brandon Flowers talking about all the Bruce Springsteen influences on the new album, will The Boss pull another Wallflowers?
Ludacris with Pharrell: Yet another performer whose album has yet to be released, but since the Neptunes produced his new song, it will be that.
The All-American Rejects: Odd choice here as they really don’t have the stature of the other bands something big maybe brewing here with a guest coming onstage with them. I believe the guitarist has tattoos all of his body of band logos from various inspirations and they did do the VH1 Rock Honors performing Def Leppard’s Photograph. I don’t understand how lead nominees Red Hot Chili Peppers aren’t on the performers list, maybe they will jump onstage here and recreate their Give it Away performance from the early nineties.
Shakira: Not only will they be battling for Video of the Year crown, Shakira will most likely try to have more weird performers than P!@TD (is that the right shorthand for the band, and by asking, I just defeated the purpose of the shorthand, but anyway) as she tries to recreate the Carnival theme of Hips Don’t Lie.
OK Go: Just announce the internet phenomenon will be taking the VMA stage. Just like the R.Kelly performance from last year, this performance will disturbing and be thoroughly entertainment at the same time. This maybe the only band that can get away with lip-syncing as long as they are doing some silly dancing, but I have a feeling they will be playing while others will be performing their treadmill opera but times ten.
You can check out the whole list of nominees from my original post - We on Award Tour: 2006 MTV Video Music Awards Nominations and you can also check out my list of best VMA performances I did last year which would most likely be unchanged - Best of the VMA Performances. And you can watch the VMA’s August 29 at 8:00, with the pre-show at 6:30.
A day before their twenty-fifth birthday, which I’m sure they will celebrate with a marathon of The Hills rather than break out Thriller one more time, MTV has announced it’s nominations for its annual Video Music Awards. For most of its existence, the award show was ground breaking and even influenced older one. But lately it has just been a forum for artists to hype their latest endeavors. But with all the complaints, I’ll surely be turning in this year much like I have since I first got cable.
Even though the nominees were announced today, there is still no word on a host yet. You’d think after the debacle two years ago where they were host-less, they wouldn’t let that happen again even if that meant bringing in the unfunny Jimmy Fallon one more time. And after the poor performance the extremely boring Diddy last year that they would throw all their money in the budget at Chris Rock for one more go around. But some performers have already been confirm with Justin Timberlake who may or may not have the first dude on dude kiss in VMA history with former boy bander Lance Bass. Oh wait; Ben Affleck and Kevin Smith already did that, never mind then. Also scheduled are The Killers, Beyoncé, Ludacris, T.I., and five time nominee Panic! at the Disco, you know, that band with that horrible song and cheesy Ringling Brothers in a church video, they got more nominations than everyone but Shakira and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And there wasn’t even a new category for band that best ripped off Fall Out Boy’s sound. The Raconteurs will provide the soundtrack for the event, not that I have a clue what that means, are they the house band or something?
In an odd change in VMA format, you actually have a chance to vote this year. This was put near the end of the press release from MTV with little explanation. So I’m not sure if the fans have total control or if we get one vote total. Either way, I this is a bad idea to end all bad ideas because as a wise man once said, “The world is full a stupid people.” So the winner won’t be the ones that deserve it rather those who have fans with absolutely no lives who have nothing better to do than sit on the internet and vote all day. But if you would like to vote, head over to the MTV website. Now on to the nominations for the awards that will be handed out August 31 (if you are interested in buying the video, click the song name where available in iTunes, if you just want the song, click the artist's name):
Video of the Year
Christina Aguilera: Ain't No Other Man
Madonna: Hung Up
Panic! at the Disco: I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Dani California
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: Hips Don't Lie
Who Will Win: Dani California
Who Should Win: Hips Don’t Lie
Should Have Been Nominated: Gnarls Barkley: Crazy
I already stressed my dislike for Panic! and another head scratcher is Madonna. How does a chick on the wrong side of forty in a leotard get a Video of the Year nomination? And it wasn’t even a down year as Crazy, Gold Digger, Wake Me up When September Ends, Doesn’t Remind Me by Audioslave could have been in here.
Best Male Video
Busta Rhymes f/ Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd Banks, Papoose & DMX: Touch It (Remix)
James Blunt: You're Beautiful
Kanye West f/ Jamie Foxx: Gold Digger
Nick Lachey: What's Left of Me
T.I.: What You Know
Who Will Win: Kanye West
Who Should Win: Kanye West
Should Have Been Nominated: Jack Johnson: Upside Down
A poor category, they didn’t even nominate the right Busta Rhymes video (should have been My Chick). Then throw out the two wusses and the Antoine Merriwether look alike, and the only worthy video here is Kanye.
Best Female Video
Christina Aguilera: Ain't No Other Man
Kelly Clarkson: Because of You
Madonna: Hung Up
Nelly Furtado f/ Timbaland: Promiscuous
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: Hips Don't Lie
Who Will Win: Ain’t No Other Man
Who Should Win: Hips Don’t Lie
Should Have Been Nominated: Fiona Apple: Not About Love
Again with the old chick in the leotard, but she doesn’t have chance anyways. Nice to see two dudes in the Best Female Category like in previous years. Clarkson’s daddy issues video and is too depressing to win (Walk Away should have been here instead), so between the two hot chicks and the drag queen I’ll go with the best hip shaker to win (although the drag queen will win).
Best Group Video
The All-American Rejects: Move Along
Fall Out Boy: Dance, Dance
Gnarls Barkley: Crazy
Panic! at the Disco: I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Dani California
Who Will Win: Dani California
Who Should Win: Crazy
Should Have Been Nominated: Death Cab for Cutie: Soul Meets Body
Death Cab for Cutie released two great videos in the past year yet neither got any love, except from me. I’m convinced that Panic! and Fall Out Boy are actually the same band so they cancel each other out so I think muck like the old guard Green Day were the big winner last year, the Red Hot Chili Pepper will get it this year.
Best Rap Video
50 Cent: Window Shopper
Busta Rhymes f/ Mary J. Blige, Rah Digga, Missy Elliott, Lloyd Banks, Papoose & DMX: Touch It (Remix)
Chamillionaire: Ridin'
T.I.: What You Know
Yung Joc f/ Nitty: It's Goin' Down
Who Will Win: What You Know
Who Should Win: Nothing
First off, there’s a rapper named Nitty? If you are on a song with some dude named Young Joc and you have the wussier name, that’s not a good sign. But anyways. It’s been five years since they introduced the Best Hip-Hop Video award but I still have no idea what the difference between these two awards yet. None of these videos or songs are any good so like my mom told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” So I’ll just go to the next category.
Best R&B Video
Beyoncé f/ Slim Thug: Check on It
Chris Brown: Yo (Excuse Me Miss)
Jamie Foxx f/ Ludacris: Unpredictable
Mariah Carey: Shake It Off
Mary J. Blige: Be Without You
Who Will Win: Check on It
Who Should Win: Be Without You
Should Have Been Nominated: Prince: Black Sweet
Another pretty sad category with only Mary J. the only thing worth watching here. Remember the good old days when there weren’t any rappers in R&B videos? No? Well it has been a long time.
Best Hip-Hop Video
Black Eyed Peas: My Humps
Common: Testify
Daddy Yankee: Rompe
Kanye West f/ Jamie Foxx: Gold Digger
Three 6 Mafia: Stay Fly
Who Will Win: Gold Digger
Who Should Win: Testify
Should Have Been Nominated: Heard ‘em Say: Kanye West &Adam Levine
Um, the Black Eyed Peas are considered hip-hop? Yeah, okay. Kanye will run away with this award anyways, but Testify had a much more entertaining storyline with actual actors, not just eye candy. In all actuality though, Kanye could have been nominated three times over here.
Best Dance Video
Madonna: Hung Up
Nelly Furtado f/ Timbaland: Promiscuous
Pussycat Dolls f/ Snoop Dogg: Buttons
Sean Paul: Temperature
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: Hips Don't Lie
Who Will Win: Hips Don’t Lie
Who Should Win: Temperature
Two of the video don’t even want to make me dance (Madonna, Pussycat Dolls) and it’s odd that the other ones were all featured in a cell phone commercial (good marketing ploy though because I can’t remember which one) so I’d give this to Sean Paul solely because of the bowling dude in his ad.
Best Rock Video
30 Seconds to Mars: The Kill
AFI: Miss Murder
Green Day: Wake Me up When September Ends
Panic! at the Disco: I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Dani California
Who Will Win: Dani California
Who Should Win: Wake Me up When September Ends
Should Have Been Nominated: Pearl Jam: Life Wasted
Holy Jared Leto sighting! How did he sneak in here? Looking at these nominations, it looks like rock is truly dead. Where’s Pearl Jam, U2 or Snow Patrol? Seriously, will anyone care about Leto, AFI or Panic! in a year or two? Well at least there was no Nickelback.
Best Pop Video
Christina Aguilera: Ain't No Other Man
Madonna: Hung Up
Nelly Furtado f/ Timbaland: Promiscuous
Pink: Stupid Girls
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: Hips Don't Lie
Who Will Win: Hips Don’t Lie
Who Should Win: Hips Don’t Lie
Wait, isn’t this the same as the Best Female Video? Although why switch in Pink for Kelly Clarkson?
Best New Artist in a Video
Angels and Airwaves: The Adventure
Avenged Sevenfold: Bat Country
Chris Brown f/ Juelz Santana, Run It!
James Blunt: You're Beautiful
Panic! at the Disco: I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Rihanna: S.O.S.
Who Will Win: S.O.S.
Who Should Win: None
Should Have Been Nominated: Crazy
S.O.S. is the best video here, but I swear Rihanna was nominated in this category last year, so I refuse to put my support behind it. The rest of the nominees are all contenders for making my Worst Songs of 2006 list.
Viewer’s Choice
Chris Brown f/ Juelz Santana: Run It!
Fall Out Boy: Dance, Dance
Kelly Clarkson: Because of You
Rihanna: S.O.S.
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: Hips Don't Lie
Who Will Win: Dance, Dance
Who Should Win: Hips Don’t Lie
Should Have Been Nominated: Crazy
Again, this award typically goes to the artists whose fans are the biggest losers, so naturally Fall Out Boy will win. Oddly, the only category you cannot vote on as I write this is this one. All in all, this viewer chooses Gnarls Barkley as the best video of the past year. And not that I miss it, but what happened to the MTV2 award?
Best Direction in a Video
10 Years: Wasteland (Director: Christopher Sims)
AFI: Miss Murder (Director: Marc Webb)
Common: Testify (Director: Anthony Mandler)
Gnarls Barkley: Crazy (Director: Robert Hales)
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Dani California (Director: Tony Kaye)
Who Will Win: Dani California
Who Should Win: Testify
Testify could win a short film award, it’s that good. But in a measure of full discloser, I’ve never heard of 10 Years, let alone seen their video.
Best Choreography in a Video
Christina Aguilera: Ain't No Other Man
Madonna: Hung Up
Pussycat Dolls f/ Snoop Dogg: Buttons
Sean Paul: Temperature
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: Hips Don't Lie
Who Will Win: Hung Up
Who Should Win: Hips Don’t Lie
Déjà vu all over again as these videos were all nominated in the Best Dance Video category too. I’m sure Madonna will get one of these awards just to get her to show up and more out with more video hofessionals bevause that was that last time anyone actually talked about the VMA’s aside from how bad they were.
Best Special Effects in a Video
Angels and Airwaves: The Adventure
Beck: Hell Yes
Missy Elliott: We Run This
Pearl Jam: Life Wasted
U2: Original of the Species
Who Will Win: Life Wasted
Who Should Win: Original of the Species
Should Have Been Nominated: Crazy
A hard one between U2, Pearl Jam and Beck (which I though was last year though), but how was the Rorschach inspired Crazy not get a nod?
Best Art Direction in a Video
10 Years: Wasteland
Common: Testify
Panic! at the Disco: I Write Sins Not Tragedies
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Dani California
Shakira f/ Wyclef Jean: Hips Don't Lie
I think I’ll just end the commentary here because I don’t really care about the technical awards and I didn’t play any of the video games, but again, the awards will be handed out on August 31.
Best Editing in a Video
The All-American: Move Along
Angels and Airwaves: The Adventure
Gnarls Barkley: Crazy
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Dani California
U2: Original of the Species
Best Cinematography in a Video
AFI: Miss Murder
Ashlee Simpson: Invisible
James Blunt: You're Beautiful
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Dani California
Prince: Black Sweat
Okay one more comment: seriously, Ashlee Simpson?
Best Video Game Soundtrack
Final Night Round 3 (Electronic Arts)
Burnout Revenge (Electronic Arts)
NBA 2K6 (2K Games)
Driver: Parallel Lines (Atari)
Mark Ecko's Getting Up (Atari)
Best Video Game Score
Hitman: Blood Money (Jesper Kyd)
Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter (Tom Salta)
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (Even Magnet Johansen)
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Jeremy Soule)
Electroplankton (User Generated Soundtrack)
Earlier this week after my lengthy MTV Video Music Awards (click here) I received a comment in regards to a small, off the cuff remark of one of the surprise performances:
“- Morbidly Obese Joe presents a medley of Reggaeton artists. That was extremely horrible. This could be to my generation what rap was to my parents and rock and roll was to their parents. I really hate the whole getting old thing.”
Apperently this struck a cord in one of my readers who promply relies to my orginal comment, please note that I have taken out the all caps to make it easier to read and made two small changes that I viewed to be spelling error, otherwise the comment was left as is. If you would like to see the unedited version, look under the VMA recap, now on to the coment (also, if anyone no Spanish, if you could translate this for me and leave it in the comment section):
“Este mama bicho! Que coňo te crees tu? Mira cantode cabron! Im gonna explain this only once to you! Im Latino and proud, I been living in South Florida for 6 years now! Im Im gonna say sorry in advance!!! You are a white Anglo-American living in “Ohio” ja, ja, ja... You haven’t experienced Las Discotecas (nightclubs) Latinas, while Im Latino and live surrounded by them! Again I apologize for this. But what do you know of the fastest and biggest minority on the United States of America? (We’ll soon become a majority) By the year 2025 the numbers of Latinos living in the U.S. will be over 50 millions!!! It’s a fact by the time you read this there will be over 35 millions of Latinos changing this country for the better! We are the biggest consumers of products in the present and will continue to influence North America and the entire world!!! You must realize that we are an essential fuel that drives the U.S.A. economy!!! >>>>Now let me tell you about Reggaeton, it a genre of music that combines and blends (while being very original itself) most of the world’s music genres and sounds into (what is it -world music-) a very danceable, singable, likeable, sellable genre of music around the whole globe!So to wrap things up, first you should learn, then take part of the biggest movement in music history (because Reggaeton it’s the futuro of music), and remember its the 21st century so get use to the idea of changes, like Latinos being a majority in this country!!!!!! Chao y visita una discoteca o escucha la radio y oiras Reggaeton donde sea!!!!!"
Elcangriman69
After I read this I was originally going to apologize myself for offending him and his culture, but then realize that, the same review, that I made positive remarks about other Latinos such as Shakira, Eva Longoria, and some chick named Paulina Rubio, not to mention that I brought up my love of the steel drum. And I didn’t even have something bad to say about Ricky Martin’s appearance. And that's no small feat.
So I decided to ask my token Latino friend, whom I like to cart out every once in a while to show that I’m cultured, what is so entertaining about Reggaeton and his response was basically like mine, “What’s that?” So apparently not every Latino is familier with “the futuro of music.” That notion is enforced by your assumption that you “are the biggest consumers of product in the present,” where are all the sales of Reggaeton music, I don’t see them on the top of the Billboard charts.
Aside from my token Latino friend, I am very cultured in the way of my music collection with genres ranging from Rock, Pop, Reggae, Rap, Country (real country, not the hillbilly music that many people mistake for country music today), Jazz, Blues, Afro-Cuban, Soul, some that are by Latinos artist, most prominently Santana.
Now there is a possibility that I am wrong about Reggaeton as I’ve been wrong before about certain music that later has grown on me. Not to mention that at the awards show, MTV didn't give the genre a decent amount of time and I couldn't imagine anything endorsed by Morbidly Obese Joe could sound good. I am more than willing to give it another listen and the next time I’m in South Florida, I’m more than willing to check out a Las Discotecas Latinas, if you are willing to be my guide, Elcangriman69.Wait, did I really spend all this time responding to a dude with the numbers "69" in his handle?
The MTV Video Music Awards have come and gone this year. A lot of cool thing that happened this year, but much like last year, there was not a defining water cooler moment again granted I was at the water cooler today gushing over the return of Beavis and Butthead. Diddy was your host and he didn’t suck as bad as the Wayans Brothers yet he came no where close to Chris Rock, Dennis Miller or even Arsinio Hall. And why has no one pointed out the Diddy has adopted the name of a cheesy rap song from the early 90’s yet. Am I the only one who remembers that song? “Do the diddy if you won’t do me cause damn I can see that you want me.” But anyways, here are some of my highlights from the show:
Pre-Show
- So there was a car show of the pimpest rides on the pre-show with Green Day’s car from the Holiday video stealing the show. But can we retire the word “pimp” as a positive adjective. Let’s not forget a true pimp is someone who forces women to sell their bodies for money. This is a word that should ever be glorified.
- Also part of the car show was Ludacris who drove in a custom Louis Vuittan car. Did I miss something; I thought LV was for chicks. Any guy I see with LV gets mocked thoroughly.
- The Game also rolled up in his car. Although the commentator called him just Game. So what is it, “The Game” or just “Game?” Did he drop the "The" like Diddy dropped the "P?" I’m just a corny old white dude; I need help figuring these things out.
- MTV apparently has a new fashion consultant, Coltrane. Just what MTV needs, their very on Joan Rivers critiquing clothes.
- During the pre-show, they were hawking a new Madonna concert DVD. Is there anyone who would actually spend money to see a 40 year old lip-sync?
- Okay, it seems that Houston is the new hot rap city, but after hearing the medley of Houston rappers perform, I think it may be time to move to the next city. Topeka anyone?
- Yes, those were Ice-T’s wife’s nipples you saw. Brings back fond memories of Rose McGowan.
- John Norris was heard asking everyone who is going to win the big prize but would always interject, “A lot of people say Kanye will take home the big one.” John, actually you were the only one who was saying it.
The Main Show
- Odd choice with a Green Day performing a relatively low key Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Not quite as good as my suggestion.
- Yes that was a teleprompter you saw in Diddy opening “performance.” He comes out to Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Relax, Diddy is the only one who loves the 80’s more than VH1. And for those keeping track, that’s the second gay anthem that Diddy has associated himself with, Diana Ross’ I'm Coming Out.
- The opening itself was cool, but reminded me too much as a mini version of the Olympics ceremony. The water theme was also cool, especially how they transitioned the video nominees.
- Winning the Carrie Fisher Award for hot chick that has fallen the quickest goes to Lindsay Lohan. She just gets uglier and uglier. Someone buy her a Big Mac please.
- Interesting to mix up the Best Male and Female Videos together. Kanye West and Kelly Clarkson win, okay mash-up artist, it’s time to give that a try. Behind These Gold Digging Eyes anyone?
- Big Daddy Butthead and fire loving Beavis are back. Now where exactly can I vote for them to get back on MTV?
- I have a theory that Ciara is the black Britney Spears. Marginally attractive but shows a lot of skin – check. Limited vocal range – check. Attaches herself to an equally talent less boyfriend – check. Focuses more time on her dancing than singing – check. Make music that makes my ears bleed – check.
- Now I’m a sucker for steel drum, but I was still disappointed there was no Mike Myers during Ludacris’ performance, instead we get some dude named Bobby Valentino.
- Did Diddy really call Orlando Bloom the prettiest person in the world?
- It was nice to see Grandmaster Flash. Too bad it was ruined with a dance off between Diddy and Omarion. Which then led to the biggest surprise of the night, an appearance by Hammer? Hey, anything can happen. And yes, I still know every word to U Can'T Touch This. And thinking about it, I know Hammer wasn't a one hit wonder, but can anyone name another one of his songs?
- Worst outfit award goes to Jessica Simpson weird backless, yet still wearing a bra, French Maid ensemble. She also takes home worst hair award.
- Am I mistaken, or did Alicia Keys wear the same unfavorable, form fitting, dress as last year?
- What was with the dude with Shakira and his guitar? He only strummed it about two times; it was like members of N’Sync performing with microphone. I wonder if the dude was carrying it because he needed to hides something.
- Umm, should I know what clowning or crumping is? My spell check doesn’t even know what the crumping is.
- Missy Elliot wins Best Dance Video. Shouldn’t this award go to a song you could actually dance to?
- Holy Eric Roberts sighting! Nice plug for his step-son’s, Keaton Simons, album and website. Now how exactly do I go about getting my refund that he offered?
- Now typically I rip anyone who lip-syncs, but I’ll let R. Kelly slid on account they he gave the most entertaining performance o the night. And just when I thought nothing could top Chapters 1-5 videos for Trapped in the Closet, Kelly goes and tops himself with a one man show debuting Chapter 6. I can’t wait for Chapters 7-12. Kelly was also seen on the red, oops, white carpet wearing an “I’m Rick James’ Bitch” shirt. I’m sorry to hear that and I sure hope your crack-pipe burns have healed by now R.
- Did we really need to see a naked Sean Combs? Although Kunta Combs was funny. It was nice to see Diddy take a pot shot at half the country when he brought up his Vote or Die campaign. Which reminds me, when is Diddy going to get around to killing Paris Hilton, she didn’t even register to vote.
- Diddy announces that Hilary Duff and Joel Madden are the Jay-Z and Beyoncé of rock. Well except Jay-Z waited for Beyoncé to be well past 18 before they started dating. Now Joel may be the Roman Polanski of pseudo-punk, that might be a better comparison. I wonder what the age of consent is in Florida.
- The Killers are remote from some hotel. Very Miami Vice setting, fitting for the band’s love for the 80’s is only trumped by Diddy.
- Holy Lil' Kim sighting! Shouldn’t she be in jail by now, wasn’t she convicted a couple months ago. Oh, I forgot, she’s famous (relatively), she can show up to jail whenever she want. It’s odd that all the famous guys get off yet the famous females get jail time.
- We are then treated to by an appearance by Big Daddy Poseidon and the Roman God of feces and manure. Seriously, where can I vote to get Beavis and Butthead back on the air?
- Nice tribute to Biggie although it was surprising that they went with lesser known Juicy and Warning instead of smashes like Big Poppa or Hypnotize. And they even censored the line “blow up like the World Trade,” I’m not sure that was needed. He wasn’t even alive for reason they bleeped it for. And as the ten year anniversaries of their deaths creep closer, I’m starting to begin to think that maybe Biggie and Tupac are really dead, not hanging out in Hawaii with Elvis as I previously thought.
- The classiest and least classy people, Common and Johnny Knoxville present together. I shouldn’t have to specify which is which.
- Morbidly Obese Joe presents a medley of Reggaeton artists. That was extremely horrible. This could be to my generation what rap was to my parents and rock and roll was to their parents. I really hate the whole getting old thing.
- Missy Elliot defies conventional wisdom again by winning Best Hip Hop. But then again, this category hasn’t had any credibility since Jennifer Lopez won it.
- Worst Bling of the night goes to Pharrell. This is saying a lot with all the mouth bling the Houston rappers were sporting.
- I wonder why Coldplay is now putting MTF on its piano. I’m not sure many people realized that it stands for maketradefair.com. It was nice to see Chris Martin run up to the cheap seats and get surrounded by a bunch of drunken people.
- Should I know who B5 is? And all they do is present other presenter. Was that really needed?
- Kelly Clarkson wins best pop and walks through the fountain of water to accept the award. I love the gratuitous Gwen Stefani shots after she losses. It almost like MTV was jabbing at her for threatening to not show up is they didn’t let her perform. They didn’t even show any of the Moonmen she won on the big show.
- Not since Andrew Dice Clay has MTV given a comedian air time at the VMA’s for some stand up, and this year they give time to… Dane Cook? Should I know who he is? Actually the guy was pretty funny, especially the part about putting a detonator in your kid. Maybe they should get this dude to host next year.
- The Killers win Best New Artist and for the first time ever, and drummer actually gives the acceptance speech.
- Stefani win best Diddy’s best dressed challenge even though she’s wearing some leopard spot dress out of the Soprano’s wardrobe. Obviously the female population voted for this as is it was judged by dudes Eva Longoria would have won by a landslide.
- Guided Vocal Alert! As I predicted, Mariah Carey’s performance made for a good bathroom break and her little midget showed to move around like an idiot. And if The Lox ever want to get some street cred, maybe they should stop showing up on J-Lo and Mariah songs.
- I don’t know who Paulina Rubio is, but I’m glad she wore that dress. And I like how she kept trying to say the Gorillaz couldn’t be their as the cartoon’s acceptance speech ran behind her.
- Remember when 50 Cent had credibility? His guided vocal performance was quite boring, and then brings out Mobb Deep, who just became hype men. Then come out the winner of the Macy Gray Award for lamest self promotion, Tony Yayo to perform the worst song of the medley. But thing were almost salvaged as 50 went on a tirade against Morbidly Obese Joe with plenty of obscenities making it on air. For those of those not paying attention 50 said, “Fat Joe is a…” um, as Naughty by Nature put it, “It’s another why to call a cat or kitten, there’s five letters missing here.”
- More reasons why My Chemical Romance suck, they are Diddy favorite band. I recently read in Rolling Stone that the group members are pushing thirty. That’s kind of creepy considering that their fan base is moody 14 year olds. Granted Eminem is on the wrong side of thirty and his fan base are 16 year old brats. And on the subject of MCR, is it wrong that I think the dead chick in their video is hot?
- Can anyone explain why Lil Bow Wow and Paris Hilton are still around? This did lead to the funniest awkward moment and Lil and Billy Joe could figure out if they should shake hands, hug, or give a chest bump.
- Did Michelle from Destiny's Child really just quote Fall Out Boy?
- Green Day wins Video of the Year and gets much love from Hammer on their way to accept the award. That should be award enough.
- As for a wet Kelly Clarkson and you shall receive a wet Kelly Clarkson. I wonder if anyone let the audience know they were going to be drench because I saw a few unhappy faces in the crowd. And some one should have told Kelly that when she performs in the rain, she may not want to go barefoot, but then had they done so, we wouldn’t have seen her slip in a puddle.
And then that was it. The surprise performances were Hammer and My Chemical Romance. That can’t be a good sign for an awards show. Also, no one got shot, unless you count Suge Knight who was shot at a pre show. But he was not critically injured and neither Lohan nor Hilton got caught in the cross-fire. For those who missed the show, it’s MTV, they will repeat it constantly for a month. And in response to getting panned over AOL’s coverage over Live8, for those with Broadband, you can see the whole show, plus extras, on MTV’s Overdrive internet channel.
My final tally:
3 of 21 (.143) thought should have won.
8 of 21 (.381) I predicted correctly.
