Saturday, March 31, 2012

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/31/12

Once Upon a Time: Of course the Mad Hatter is the only Storybooke character that know who he really is. Which begs the question how did Lewis Carroll find out about the fairytale land?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: That Spam turkey looked really awesome.

House of Lies: I do not know what it says about me that I have talked up my mixtapes the same way Doug does. I even made a 9/11 mix. On the bright side, I have never had sex with my boss’s daughter to get back at me for screwing me over.

The Voice: And we are done with the Battle Rounds. Thank goodness. Even though I approved the expanded Blind Auditions, I could do with less Battle Rounds, The could have easily gone eight battles a night over three weeks instead of six over four weeks. Or just shorten it to two weeks and lumped a bunch of the battles via montage.

Even though Ashley De La Rosa lessened the shock of montage singers making it to the live shows, it is still shocking to Karla Davis and Moses Stone advance, especially Moses who defeated the four chair turners The Line (for those keeping track at home, that is two four chair turners sitting at home right now). I am going to miss the duo and their laughably bad sexual chemistry. And Orlando Napier really screwed himself by letting Adam switch their song from Rich Girl, which was right his blue-eyed soul alley to Easy which suited her mellow vibe more. But anyone who does not know the entire Hall and Oates catalogue should not be on a singing competition in the first place.

But as bad as the Battle Rounds have been, it was nice that NBC forced some synergy and let Community’s Jeff Winger and Dean Pelton close the show with an epic romantic duet.

You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download songs by the winners in the widget at right. And be on the lookout for my Top 24 Power Rankings tomorrow.

Castle: You know what; I could really do without the subplot of Castle telling Beckett he loved her when she was shot. That can go away. Unfortunately looking at the promo for next week, which will not be going away.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Justified: I have long considered this season a four person chess match between Raylan, Quarrels, Boyd, and Limehouse, but I forgot a very important piece on the board of Dickie Bennett and his three million dollars which could go to the winner of the match (and I would venture to say at the very least the dead last loser will end up, well, dead).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: How dare Tarzan even suggest that Kat should be voted out? Without her, who would there be to fart on people and ask the meanings of fairly common worlds? Actually I hope that the next Survivor All-Stars season is Morons vs. Masterminds with Kat as the queen moron. Speaking of morons, how dumb are the people who lost the Reward Challenge? Of course the “secret” letter that Probst gave the winners was going to tell them there was a Hidden Immunity Idol, so why not spend the time while the winners were away to search for it?
You can stream recent episodes over at

Survivor on iTunes

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: An epic fail on the wardrobe department. Seriously, how hard would it have been to have three distinctively covered coats so we could tell the teams apart?
You can stream recent episodes over at You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

Community: Now that Chuck is over, is Community the next low rated series on NBC that Subway is going to save? Kind of an evil genius marketing ploy that I am surprised more companies are not getting on. Speaking of evil, is the newly goateed John Goodman the same Dean of the air conditioning school from earlier this season or is he from the evil timeline? I cannot believe that was a coincidence.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

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