57 Channels and Only This Is On vol. CXXIV

Quote of the Week: I feel like I’m in a Godzilla movie. (Keamy, Lost)

Song of the Week: Hello – Lionel Richie (as sung by Dan LeBatard, Pardon the Interruption)

Big News of the Week: Charlie Sheen Leaving Two and a Half Men (But Probably Not): Not to self: if I ever become the highest paid actor on television and still want more money, but don’t want people to realize my greediness, drop a news story on April 1st so all the commoners think it is an Aprils Fool joke while my bosses get worried that I may end the most watched sitcom so I get even more money. Brilliant.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:




Tool Academy: The problem with past Tool Academy seasons is the less Tools there are, the less entertaining the show gets. How do you alleviate the problem: chick fight. Every week I would have guessed the Neandratool would be the one going home, and now he has to be the odds on favorite to win it all. You can stream recent episodes over at vh1.com. You can also download Tool Academy on iTunes.

Chuck: If Shaw is this great CIA agent, scaling the ranks at breakneck speed, how is he that stupid not to realize that The Ring doctored the footage of his wife’s murder (at least that is the assumption I am going under)? And why frame Sarah? Wouldn’t The Ring rather Shaw dead than have him kill Sarah in revenge? Unless The Ring hopes to flip him thinking the CIA had his wife killed. But at least civilian Casey is still highly entertaining with him still breaking and entering, the stakeout, ending up in jail and, wow, he told Sarah that he killed the mole. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.

Greek: Here’s hoping that Casey and Cappie actually stay broken p this time but since they are placing the seeds of her staying at CRU, I am really not holding my breath for that one. Just let her graduate, go off to grad school in Washington and end the show that way because I see that show tanking creatively if they keep all the seniors around even though they graduated. If the show does stick around, pull a Friday Night Lights and let the seniors leave and just restock the cast and let Rusty, Calvin and Rebecca be the leads. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Lost: Holy One Eyed Willie sighting! Except he has two eyes! Well he did until Jin shot one out. I guess we know now how he lost his eye. Sort of. Almost. Well not really but at this point I take any almost answer Lost gives me these days. I am sure I would have enjoyed this episode a lot more had the host of Dancing with the Has Beens and Never Weres didn’t spoil the episode by announcing what was coming up on the show. But that still didn’t beat the V countdown clock that obscured Sun’s writing. I have resigned myself that networks will never get rid of these screen covering practicing, but is it too hard to ask that they make sure that they are not covering anything important? You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Justified: I love how stupid the bad guys are on this show. How big is your ego when you think you can outdraw a US Marshall who is famous for killing a dude by outdrawing him? Then practice drawing with a loaded weapon. You knew someone was going to die. It is like the bad guys think they are the greatest chess players ever while Raylin is playing three dimensional chess. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: The show really likes to get Erika Christensen in the pool which is hard not to think Swimf@n whenever they do it. Here’s hoping one of the kids joins the swim team with coach played by Jessie Bradford. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Modern Family: I really hope Apple enjoyed their half hour infomercial about how their customers are humongous losers. But I think this was the first episode where Phil actually made me laugh multiple times. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains: What is great about the two most overrated Survivors going after each other is that you know one will be going home sooner than later. And neither Boston Rob or Russell have noticed that their tribe has voted out three straight guys, the exact same strategy that Parvati used in her winning season. And if the preview is any indication, the Villains will go three straight entertaining tribal councils. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Free Download of the Week: Stole My Heart – Little and Ashley: For those that have seen the new commercial for Kindle and wondered what the song in the ad is, here it is and for the low, low price of free.

Deal of the Week: Blu Ray Sale (Up, Enchanted, The Chronicles of Narnia)

Video of the Week: The Muppets are getting ready for Easter tomorrow with this odd Ben E. King inspired video. Thankfully Statler and Waldorf come in the end to (almost) make sense of it all.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Tool Academy, Sunday (4/4) at 9:00 on VH1: It is odd that they wouldn’t air an episode against the Oscars, but will air the season finale on Easter. Hopefully next week we get a reunion show which we didn’t get last season. They can even bring in former Tool Academy alum and Tiger Woods mistress Jamie Grubbs for an update of what she has been up to since being on the show.