Second Impressions: Survivor: Cook Islands

Scooter’s Note: This post is an extension of my previous post on Survivor so check that link out first if you have not done so.

The first episode of Survivor: Jim Crowe Cook Islands has come and gone and there weren’t any race riots in Harlem or Compton because the black team lost so all of you that predicted the downfall of civilization because a reality show divide teams by race can rest a little easier tonight. But racial divide aside, the first episode was your normal start to Survivor where the teams had to find their camp, make shelter, get to know each other, and figure which person of the opposite sex they would be willing to have sex with even if they haven’t showered in a while.

The challenge of the week which was for immunity and reward was the garden variety that mixed rowing and solving problems (but not at the same time). And what makes this season interesting, I can talk about the outcome of the challenge two different ways, but with the exact sentiment, but one way could offend people, but the other won’t. If I said, “it was obvious before the challenged started that the Blacks would come in dead last because it dealt with water” I’m sure some liberal communist would be up in arms. But if I said, “The producers of Survivor should be ashamed that they choose a challenged that put the African-American tribe in a distinct disadvantage” no one would give a second thought. And on that note who had the Asian dude being the biggest racist on the show in your office pool?

But not all was lost for the black team as they were able to choose who went to exile this week with the chicken stealer being an easy target. Granted I would have went with the strongest Asian or Hispanic dude as they blew the other two teams away, but that’s just me I guess. Another thing I wouldn’t have done, vote off the strong dude. Someone may be banking on a merger happening sooner than later. But by judge of the preview, it doesn’t look like it will happen next week. I would put good money on at least five weeks before a merger otherwise the whole “social experiment” idea would just be a sham and I bet there will be a few weeks where there will be tribal for the two bottom teams. Speaking of tribal, that whole pirate ship was pretty cool.

As for my preseason predictions, with the Asians dominating, my pick of Becky is looking good. And speaking of looking good, I was totally spot on with Pavarti Shallow being the chick I would most want to have dirty, dirty sex with even if they hadn’t showered in a month award. And for the people who didn’t care for my religion themed tribes for the next Survivor, here’s another suggestion: divide the groups by sexual preference: straights, gay homosexuals, people who play on both sides of the ball, and a-sexual. And don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to watch that.

Verdict: Much like every Survivor past, I will watch like a lemming every week relegating Smallville and My Name Is Earl to VCR duty. If you missed the first episode, or want to see all the racial goodness again, head over to CBS’s broadband station Innertube to stream the episode for free (with limited or no ads). Every Friday morning, the latest episode will be available to stream there. Or if you want to download the show for a small fee, check out iTunes.