First Impressions: Survivor: Cook Islands

I usually wait to comment on a show until I give my first impressions after the first episode airs but I was taken aback on all the negative feedback with the announcement of tribe on the new season of Survivor (click to see the cast for yourself), oddly enough the thirteenth installment, that I better do it now while everyone else is talking about. For those that are unaware, this season, they are dividing the contestants into four equal tribe divided by race: Caucasians, African-Americans, Asians, and Hispanics. This change was a blatant attempt to drum up free publicity and as I peruse the internet, everyone seemed to bite on it.

What was really surprising was how negative everyone was about race change. Most everyone I read disliked the idea to full blown hatred, to downfall of the civilization bad, how they could make that claim when Paris Hilton released her album the exact same is beyond me, but I guess we all look at Revelations different ways. I just can’t see why everyone is so up in arms when the show has already divided tribal lines by sex multiple times and by age in their last installment. In fact dividing by those two lines are worse than race because it causes an unfair advantage for certain tribes.

But again the outrage is so insane, I read one person suggest that this upcoming season could be called Survivor: Jim Crowe. C’mon, it’s not like they are going to give fire to the White tribe right off the bat and not the Black tribe, or instead of a boat, they make the Hispanic tribe travel around in a low-rider. Although I wonder if they will give the Asian tribe mash potatoes mix instead of rice to avoid looking even more racist. Since, I’m assuming, all the tribes will start off exactly the same with none receiving an advantage unless they win it.

Here’s another reason not to hate the new tribal lines, all the previous were all at least seventy-five percent white, even the All-Star edition only had two non-whites, and now only twenty-five percent are this season. That leads to a record number of black contestants, and no season so far has had more than one Asian per season and now there are five, I don’t think there have been a total of five Asians in all the previous Survivors combined. Now I’m sure when all the other people have suggested it were using sarcasm, but I’m being truthful, I think next season the should divide along religious denominations: Christians, Muslims, Jews, with the fourth tribe being a hodgepodge of a Buddhist, a Hindu, a Hare Krishna, an atheist, and a Branch Davidian. And don’t tell me you wouldn’t watch that.

Now usually I give out prediction on who is going to win as well as other predictions with past First Impressions of previous Survivor shows, but that is usually after I watched the first episode. I may do another write-up after the first episode and post them there, but just a quick eyeball, I’ll go with Becky as my preseason pick (go Asians!!!). But one category I can go ahead pick now because, well, I’m shallow, is the Survivor I Would Most Like to Have Sex with even if They Hadn’t Showered in a Month. Now a quick look over the chicks, I was going to pick Candice Woodcock (no comment on her last name), but after looking at their profiles, I’m instead going to give that award to Parvati Shallow (appropriate last name for this award at right) because of her profession as a boxer/waitress, just really intrigued me, plus you can never go wrong with someone who lists Bob Marley under favorite music.

Survivor: Jim Crowe Cook Islands airs Thursday September 14 at 8:00 EST on CBS. You will also be able to stream the show on CBS's broadband player after each episode airs.