First Impressions - Emily's Reasons Way Not

After years of airing the iconic Monday Night Football on the first day of the week, ABC said goodbye to the football giant two weeks ago. And how to you replace the biggest draw among men? Well apparently ABC believes by bringing Rollergirl, Uncle Jesse, and The Bachelor, which I thought got canceled after the Jerry O'Connell’s brother debacle, is the answer. Even though it’s very doubtful any guy watched any of this lineup, I braved my way through Rollergirl’s attempt at television, Emily’s Reasons Why Not.

The show itself utilizes narration to guide the show. And if that sounds familiar, it should as every new sitcom does it, and for those keeping track at home that includes My Name Is Earl, Everybody Hates Chris, How I Met Your Mother, The War at Home, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I were missing some. But what sets Emily’s Reasons Why Not apart is ERWN is 75% narration which could be good because I believe Heather Graham should be seen and not heard. But when it’s Graham doing the narration, it really defeats the purpose. As for Graham herself, lets face it, the girl cannot act. Yeah she’s okay when playing a dirty dirty slut (see Boogie Nights and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me) but can anyone name another movie she’s been good in? Didn’t think so.

The appearance of Mark Valley was also painful to watch to see how low he has had to stoop after Fox unceremoniously canceled the brilliant Keen Eddie (mmm, why does this sounds familiar, oh yeah, check out Won’t Be Fooled Again). I bet Fox now wishes they didn’t prematurely pull the plug now considering the show also featured the then unknown Sienna Miller who now routinely appears on tabloid covers and E! But anyways.

As poor of an actress that Heather Graham, the writing doesn’t help either. It took me forever to figure out what the Reasons Why Not were, and when I finally figured it out I wish I hadn’t. Apparently once Emily figured out five reasons why not to date a guy, she then dumps him. This will be the basis of the rest of the shows: Emily meets a dude, figured out five reasons, dumps him and repeat. The first unlucky guy seems to be gay but turns out he’s Mormon and hilarity doesn’t ensue. Helping her out are a girlfriend who looks like a dud and a gay guy who is nowhere as funny as the gay guy on Will & Grace. Emily also has an antagonist in coworker Glitter Cho, no seriously, that’s the character’s name, but even her catty comments were extremely boring.

Verdict: When does Monday Night Football start up on ESPN? Well not that this show will last that long anyways.