It hasn’t been a good month for Kelly Clarkson. First it was leaked that the president of her label, Clive Davis, hated her new album, My December, so much he wanted to her to scrape most of it and reportedly wanted to replace some of the song with ones that already appeared on Lindsay Lohan’s album, an album that bombed in its own right. Then during her dispute with her label, Clarkson dumped her management team. All the while her first single from the album, Never Again, failed to make a dent at radio thanks in part because there was a universal yawn from the general public even after she tucked her tail between her legs to perform the song on American Karaoke after publicly distancing herself from the show pretty much since the forgettable karaoke movie she stared in. But on the bright side Clarkson successfully convinced her label to push up the release date of the album about a month so her fans would know the songs before embarking on her tour. Granted that victory ended up being a little shallow considering her tour of arenas recently got canceled due to poor sales.
Upon hearing My December it is hard not to answer the question to who was right, Clarkson or Davis and Clive is the clear winner in that there are no marketable songs on the album although it still is much better than Lohan’s. Whereas Never Again was virtually ignored, there really isn’t much better here. Sober, with its slow crawling acoustic groove, really is the only song here worth the price of admission. But it still doesn’t even rank in the pantheon that hosts Kelly ten best songs thanks to her ruining ending with her incisive need to try to turn the song into to a power balled.
It is not coincidental that the best songs on the album are the slower songs like Sober, Be Still and the album closer Irvine because when she tries to rock out on the rest of the album the result range from Never Again where she fails to Judas where she fails miserably to Yeah which is laughable because it sounds like she is actually trying to recreate a Sly and the Family Stone song. Almost as laughable is the Euro-trash One Minute. And it may have been a good idea to have the hidden track Shivas, where it sounds as if she is trying to channel Leadbelly, stay hidden. By the end of the album you may want to take her advise to, “don’t waste you’re time on me.”
But what really brings down Never Again isn’t the music rather its lyrics, which much like the whole album was co-written by Clarkson. Since U Been Gone was a quirky kiss off of a failed relationship that could get anyone to sing along to in the car. Never Again is just a spiteful jagged little pill that not many people would want to swallow with Clarkson coming off as a vengeful ageing starling whose husband/boyfriend just upgraded to a younger model by wishing “the ring you gave to her turns her finger green.” She much not watch My Name Is Earl otherwise should would have though of the karma effects of the line, “it must suck to see my face everywhere.” But it may don on her when the dude is happy to see her face when she is reduced to bunking up with the Dude You’re Getting a Dell guy while Fred Durst leers on for the 2012 edition of The Surreal Life. Well of course that is only if she gets an invite considering Sanjiya may be the producers first pick to be their token reality star that season.
Long before I was Scooter McGavin, I actually wrote a column for a wrestling website called the Hardcore Report. It has been years since I regularly watched professional wrestling, it may because network television started airing decent programs on Monday nights and the move of Smackdown to Friday, not really a day I like to stay in and watch television, but I occasionally will tune in to see what is going on. Last night I had just finished up a session of playing final Fantasy XII and I thought I would switch on Raw to see what was happening before I do a little reading and head off to bed. Instead of the usual WWE hijacks, all I saw on the scene was a picture of Chris Benoit with the title 1967-2007 below him.
First thoughts were yet another wrestler dieing from the wrestling lifestyle, something that has happen way too often. But when it was mentioned that his wife and young son also had died which initially wondered if it was a car or plane accident. But the announcers conspicuously avoided mentioning the cause of death and in the back of my mind it was hard not to think of Phil Hartman. Unfortunately it turns out the Benoit family had a similar outcome with Chris taking the lives of his wife and son before taking his own life.
It is had to eulogize someone who would do such things. Most wrestlers need to rely heavily on charisma and catchphrases to get over with today’s fans but Benoit was one of the rare stars who was able to let his actions on the mat speak for him and still get people to cheer or boo him depending on if he were a good or bad guy at the time. He was scheduled to wrestle for the ECW title this past weekend before being pulled from the card for a “family emergency.” We may never know what initially sparked Benoit to travel back home, skipping two scheduled appearances, but hopefully wherever he is now he finds some peace because it didn’t look like he found much while on Earth. My condolences go out to the whole Benoit family and friends of the family.
For more on the life and death of the Benoit family check out stories over at MSNBC.com and WWE.com.
The ESPY’s are quickly becoming even more entertaining than the MTV Awards season granted half of the readers here may not even know what they are, and that half most likely like dudes (ESPY’s are awards given out by ESPN, just don’t ask me what they stand for). This year we get the tag team tandem of hosts in LeBron James and Jimmy Kimmel. Should be intesting. No Arthur Ashe Award winner has been announced yet but the segment always ranks as the one of the most emotional moments of the year and enough reason to watch. Now, much like the Grammy’s, there are way too many categories to list here, plus I have no desire to pick who is the dude who can turn left for five hours the best, so check out all the nominees and vote on the ESPY’s page at ESPN.com and be sure to check out the awards on July 15th at 9PM ET on ESPN. Now on to my predictions:
Best Male Athlete Roger Federer, Tennis Pro LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers Tiger Woods, Pro Golfer
Who Will Win: Peyton Manning Who I Voted For: Roger Federer
When it comes to the best across all sports, you have to instantly throw out the two that didn’t win anything over the last two months and I have said this every time I’ve done and ESPY’s nomination post but golfers are not athletes. And if you take away clay, Ferderer doesn’t lose. Ever.
Best Team Florida Gators Basketball - Final Four Champs Florida Gators Football - BCS Champs Indianapolis Colts - Super Bowl Champs San Antonio Spurs - NBA Champs St. Louis Cardinals - World Series Champs Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball - Final Four Champs
Who Will Win: Indianapolis Colts Who I Voted For: Indianapolis Colts
No one even remembers that the Cards won and by the time the awards are handed out everyone will have forgotten the Spurs. It is laughable that college teams are even included here and they should really split this into two different categories, pro and college.
Best Coach/Manager Billy Donovan, Florida Gators Tony Dungy, Indianapolis Colts Jim Leyland, Detroit Tigers Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs Pat Summitt, Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball
Who Will Win: Tony Dungy Who I Voted For: Tony Dungy
Pretty much see above.
Best Moment Tiger Woods, British Open - Tears of Joy New Orleans, Monday Night Football - Saints Return, Beat the Falcons Tony Dungy vs. Lovie Smith - Super Bowl's First African American Coaches Derek Fisher - Father First, Utah Jazz Second
Who Will Win: New Orleans Who I Voted For: Derek Fisher
I am not sure if anyone cared that two black coaches when head-to-head and I cannot even remember why Tiger cried. Now the Saints were a great moment even with all the over the top celebration, remember U2 performed, but the Fisher story made me tear up a little.
Best Championship Performance LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers Jimmie Johnson, Nascar Driver Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts Serena Williams, Tennis Pro
Who Will Win: Peyton Manning Who I Voted For: Peyton Manning
Um, didn’t James get swept? How does that qualify for a best of anything? He was the fourth best player on the floor at that. Williams was forgettable and Johnson just turned left for hours so Manning is the easy choice here.
Best Record-Breaking Performance Bobby Knight, Coach, Texas Tech Red Raiders Michael Phelps, U.S. Swimmer Kelly Slater, Pro Surfer LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers
Who Will Win: Bobby Knight Who I Voted For: LaDainian Tomlinson
There must not have been many records broken if there is a surfer in the category. Since there were no Olympics this year no on will care about Phelps, myself included. In the end I’ll take a player over a coach.
Best Breakthrough Athlete Kevin Durant, Texas Longhorns Devin Hester, Chicago Bears Ryan Howard, Philadelphia Phillies Morgan Pressel, Women's Golf Pro
Who Will Win: Kevin Durant Who I Voted For: Morgan Pressel
I was less than impressed than the athletes here so I went with Pressel because, well, she’s moderately attractive. Hey I’m shallow.
Best Game Oklahoma State over Texas - College Hoops Triple Overtime AFC Championship - Colts over Patriots - Remarkable Playoff Comeback Fiesta Bowl - Boise State over Oklahoma - David vs. Traditional Goliath
Who Will Win: AFC Championship Who I Voted For: AFC Championship
I can’t say I watched the whole AFC Championship because I turned off the game early when the Colts went into the big hole. I doubt I was the only one. But when you can come back from three touchdowns in a playoff game, especially against the thorn in your side, it is the easy choice.
Best Finish Dodgers over Padres - Back to Back to Back to Back Harwick's Daytona 500 - Nothing Closer, Ever Division II Men's Basketball Championship - 57 Game Win Streak, Broken Preakness - Triple Crown Spoiler
Who Will Win: Dodgers over Padres Who I Voted For: Dodgers over Padres
Way too many nominees about dudes turning left. It has been fifty years since a team hit four bombs in a row and the Dodgers did it in the ninth to tie the game. Then hit another round triper in the tenth to win.
Best Play Boise State 2 Pt Conversion vs. Oklahoma - The Statue of Liberty Play Darrelle Revis' Return - One Thunderous Block Dwyane Wade Shot - Crazy Shot off the Glass Endy Chavez Catch - Home Run Thief Travis Pastrana - X12 - Moto X Double Backflip
Who Will Win: Boise State Who I Voted For: Boise State
College football’s overtime rules are pretty lame but that doesn’t take away from Boise State’s ballsy play against a team most thought didn’t deserve playing against.
Best Upset Detroit Tigers vs. New York Yankees - AL Division Series Golden State Warriors vs. Dallas Mavericks - NBA Playoffs Florida Gators vs. Ohio State Buckeyes - BCS National Championships Rutgers Scarlet Knights vs. Duke Blue Devils - NCAA Women's Sweet 16
Who Will Win: Florida Gators Who I Voted For: Golden State Warriors
This one is pretty easy for me because eights never beat one seeds in any sport. And they did it in six games to win.
Best NFL Player Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts Larry Johnson, Kansas City Chiefs Jason Taylor, Miami Dolphins LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears
Who Will Win: Peyton Manning Who I Voted For: Brian Urlacher
Best NBA Player Carmelo Anthony, Denver Nuggets Kobe Bryant, Los Angles Lakers Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks
Who Will Win: LeBron James Who I Voted For: Steve Nash
Best Baseball Player Ryan Howard, Philadelphia Phillies Derek Jeter, New York Yankees Justin Morneau, Minnesota Twins Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals Johan Santana, Minnesota Twins
Who Will Win: Albert Pujols Who I Voted For: Johan Santana
Under Armour Undeniable Award Arizona Wildcat Softball Nebraska Cornhusker Volleyball North Carolina Tar Heels Soccer Northwestern Wildcats Lacrosse Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball Wisconsin Badgers Hockey
Who Will Win: Tennessee Lady Vols Basketball Who I Voted For: North Carolina Tar Heels Soccer
Gotta love the ambiguous categories that are just shameful product placement. But considering that all the nominees are female college teams, that this is their category. I don’t think that this award was given out to the same thing last year though. Just odd.
Hummer Liker Nothing Else Award LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers Michael Phelps, US Swimmer Kendric Smith, Hughes High School Diana Taurasi, Phoenix Mercury LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers
Who Will Win: LeBron James Who I Voted For: LeBron James
I am glad LeBron is nominated in this category because I can bring up my “LeBron’s Mom Gave Me a Hummer” t-shirt. Other than that there really isn’t much more to say about these mixed bag of random athletes.
Celebrity Fit Club: Men vs. Women: Well that was an anticlimactic finale. Screech’s obnoxious tirades got tired a long time ago to the point I hoped that random redneck actually took a swing at him.
Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School: Last week we got the your token recap show but looking at my TV Guide this week, tonight’s three episodes are all repeats. Are they not showing the finale tonight? Did I miss it? I’m not too worried if I did being that this is VH1 and it will be repeated ad nausea until the next Flavor o Love spin-off starts. Download the full season over on iTunes.
Rescue Me: This show just may be the funniest show on television and the funniest character has to be Garrity. Lou totally hit the nail on the hammer when he said whenever he poised a question it is hard to sleep thinking of the stupidity of it. And his latest question may not have been as funny as the time he debated the existence of God with Tommy’s youngest, but it is up there. But here is the scene of his latest quandary which isn’t really safe for work or anyone with high moral standing:
Lil’ Bush: After watching the first two episodes I’ll say it is funnier than That’s My Bush, but that doesn’t really say much. Download the episodes on iTunes.
Pirate Master: The whole immunity thing could make thing more interesting and three different captains in three weeks is keeping the show almost afloat but I still want to see who exactly is voting fore who.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Even though this was the last of the K&R trilogy, unfortunately it looks like the Jordon pregnancy and Tom’s brother plotlines will carry over into the series finale which means the show will most likely got out in a whimper. Sad for a show that had such great potential and moments of greatness early on. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Next Week’s Pick: Flavor of Love: Charm School on VH1: Whether the finale is on tonight, next week, or it has already been on and I missed it, certainly it will be re-aired plenty of time for anyone who wants to watch to see it.
Yesterday I had to do some research on animal testing for a presentation in a class I had today and since I was responsible for obtaining information for the con, I figured peta.org would be the best place to grab some information. Now I think PETA members are clinically insane and do more harm for animal right the help them in the process. But the group can be thoroughly entertaining at times most notably with their ingenious “I’d rather go naked than wear fur campaign.”
Now I say they do more harm then good because of imbecile actions like dousing people who wear fur with blood. Now there are much more effective, and entertaining, when they go the passive aggressive root like when they called NBA players sissies because they were complaining about cuts on their finger from the new synthetic ball resulting in the league to go back to the leather balls. You can read that whole thing here: A Letter to the NBA (warning, this is a PDF file).
While visiting their website yesterday, I found the groups latest passive aggressive attack was on Michael Moore. For those that are unaware, Moore has a new documentary coming out called Sicko (see below for a trailer) which focuses on the health care debate in America. Well someone inside PETA decided to write to Moore, who is described in the PETA blog as, “a fat, bearded dude who makes political documentaries and occasionally angers conservatives.” Nice. Why attack Moore you might be thinking, well as Ingrid Newkirk put in her letter to Michael:
“Although we think that your film could actually help reform America’s sorely inadequate health care system, there’s an elephant in the room, and it is you. With all due respect, no one can help but notice that a weighty health issue is affecting you personally. We’d like to help you fix that. Going vegetarian is an easy and life-saving step that people of all economic backgrounds can take in order to become less reliant on the government’s shoddy healthcare system, and it’s something that you and all Americans can benefit from personally.” (Read the entire Letter to Michael Moore, again it is a PDF file)
As for someone who has been without health care for most of his adult life, I fully understand the need for a national health care system and cannot imagine anyone with a soul being against it either but I applaud PETA what they call the elephant in the room. Now I have no problem paying some extra so someone in a car crash gets the medical attention they deserve and not get denied because they don’t have insurance or just as worse, have insurance but not the right HMO. But I have absolutely no desire to pay extra taxes for diabetes and heart disease medicine for someone too lazy to get off their butt and do thirty minutes of exercises a day. In that same vain, I don’t want my taxes going to that moron who smoked a pack a day for forty years. So before we get a national health care plan, we really need to regulate health so we aren’t paying half or salaries to help people who obviously have no desire to help themselves. Now as promised, here is the Sicko trailer:
One more thing I found over at the website, PETA is again conducting their sexiest vegetarian alive poll so feel free to take part in that. Unfortunately you have to vote in both the dudes and chicks categories and since I am really now one to decide who the sexiest dude is, I just went with RZA, because, “If you want beef then bring the ruckus because Wu-Tang Clan is nothing to (expletive deleted) with.”
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
I’ve never been much of a John Lennon guy, but this Samuel Bayer directed clip of Green Day’s version of Working Class Hero is a must see. The song is featured on Instant Karma: The Amnesty International Campaign to Save Darfur, an charity that benefits Amnesty International with money going to stop the violence and disease that has killed over a half a million over the past four years. Although I think it would be best to just grab this song and U2’s Instant Karma on iTunes (where there are ten songs you won’t find on the CD) and donate the rest of the money directly to AI because I’m not sure if anyone really needs to hear Avril Lavigne’s take on Imagine.
Speaking of Avril Lavigne, she a yet another new video out. For those who found the original version of Girlfriend disturbing you may want to avoid this one because it is even more disturbing. This is mostly thanks to Lil’ Mama, most famous for her Lip Gloss song. And if you have never heard it, you are luckier than I.
Four videos deep and The Killers are still holding on to that Spaghetti Western persona. And with each passing single I am warming up to Sam’s Town more and more. Maybe within five years I may actually begin to like the album. (Scooter's Note: his is the first time I attempted AOL's snag feature so hopefully it works. Scooter's Update: Well that failed miserably, back to YouTube.)
This may be the most entertaining thing I have heard in a long time or at the very least since Kanye West remixed Throw Some D’s. You may or may not remember Joe as the guy who implored that he wasn’t a player and had a girl who stuttered. But this is by fair his best work. Gotta love how he flipped the line to, “She’s probably singing some ghetto version of Mariah Careyoke.” Seeing Joe take on Carrie Underwood harkens back to the day when R&B and country artist would mix where Ray Charles would release a country album and Kenny Rogers would show up on the R&B charts. Aw the good ol’ day.
Whoever had Mandy Moore back in 1999 being the most successful of the blonde pop princesses in the office pool eight years later would have made a lot of money as she started out fourth in the pecking order. But out of her contemporaries, she seemed to make the most chances being the first to go brunette as well as the first to give acting a shot, and remains to be the only one to be successful at it. She even recorded two of the best songs among her peer with In My Pocket and Crush, though Genie in a Bottle still ranks as the gold standard.
After three albums chalk full of the overproduced teen pop fair, Mandy released an album of cover tunes that reflected more of her new love of folksier music which included one of my favorite songs of all time, John Hiatt’s Have a Little Faith in Me. Now four years later at the age of twenty-three, Mandy has written an album worth of songs very similar to those she hand picked for Coverage with some help from the indie-folk acts like The Weepies, Rachael Yamagata, Chantal Kreviazuk, and Lori McKenna on the just released Wild Hope.
The lyrics are everything you would expect from Mandy for her first go a round putting pen to paper with some introspective lyrics and laments to lost loves. The problem though is unlike other artists of the genre she is trying out where you tend to relate the songs to your own experiences, you cannot help but wonder which songs are about that that tennis player and which ones are about that dude who wrote Garden State. Although until I learn otherwise, I will assume the line, “I hope you burn in hell” (Nothing that You Are) is about that annoying dude from Yo Momma. Despite the vengeful lyric, Mandy never come across like Kelly Clarkson-like bitterness.
Instead throughout the album, Mandy takes a low key approach to her vocal, content instead of letting the well produced music performed by actual musicians, no synthesizers in sight, share the spotlight until she turns up the dial on the album closer Gardenia where she belts it out with only a piano to accompany her and lines like “I’m the one who likes to make love on the floor”. No word yet on if she likes taking walks in the rain. Elsewhere on the album, Most of Me, with its driving acoustic guitar, is one of those songs you should be required to play while driving on a country road on a clear summer night. Whether the girl Moore is talking about in the song is her or someone else, the way she presents the female in Can’t You Just Adore Her? The answer is a resounding yes.
Wild Hope certainly isn’t the best folk album you will here this year, nor any of the songs as catchy as her poppier past, but the album is a step in the right direction creatively for Ms. Moore. And this album shows that Mandy could have a great album in her if she put more time into it.
At the end of the nineties with the resurgence of teen pop had enough stranglehold on music of the day, even respectful rock acts made over polished music with the songs loosing their emotional edge in the process. Then as the new millennium started, along came The White Stripes like a breath of fresh air with their credo of only recording songs that they would be able to play live which for the most part limited the band two just two instruments, Meg White on drums and Jack White on either guitar or piano, per song. Fell in Love with a Girl even closed out Rolling Stones40 Songs that Change the World which was listed in chronological order.
Now on their sixth album, Icky Thump, the duo again doesn’t stray to far from their mission statement as the cover is draped again in their trademark red, white, and blacks although the band does bring in some extra instruments this time around. Conquest, made famous by Patti Page, features mariachi type trumpets while Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn, which bleeds into St. Andrews (This Battle Is in the Air), gets a Scottish feel to it thanks to some bagpipes. Despite the small departures, the album is exactly what you would expect from the group with influences of folk, blues, and seventies arena rock but still sounding fresh and new.
But the album isn’t a starter kit for recruiting new fans. Even though it comes close with the album opener, the title track that will get your toes tapping, and closer, Effect and Cause, with a nice sit in a circle and jam type a vibe to it, the disk doesn’t feature anything as easily accessible as Fell in Love with a Girl, Seven Nation Army, or My Doorbell. But I am sure true music fans do not care and will enjoy the album anyways.
Big News of the Week: Apparently the Sopranos Finale Sucked: Now I am not really a The Sopranos expert because of my aversion to mobsters and premium cable channels and only have seen a couple episodes early in the show run. But it was hard to escape everyone’s unequivocal distain for how the show ended. Personally seeing how it ended I have to say it was brilliant. There was absolutely no way to please everyone, some people would have been unhappy if Tong got gunned down while other would have been unhappy had he ridden off into the sunset with his family, so why not just go ahead and piss off everyone. That’s an ending I can get behind (mostly because I didn’t invest eight years in the show).
Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School: Just when Pumpkin Brooke could have a less classy exit than the one from Flavor of Love, she sure came close with her drunken propositions, profanity laden, exit from Charm School. My jaw just dropped to floor at how horrible of a person she is. Her parents should be in jail for raising a child that turned into that. I can’t believe there is only one episode left. Hopefully they rush into production a second semester of Charm School and maybe do a chicks vs. dudes as the cast offs of Flavor of Love take on those from I Love New York. Or maybe a Hood Rat vs. Hair Metal (from the upcoming Rock of Love) season. You can download the whole season on iTunes.
Pirate Master: It is always a sad day whenever a reality show votes off the token hot chick which will make this show even less watchable next week. What’s worse is the captain change somehow made the show even more boring. I may be time to jump ship (really bad pun intended).
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: A little better than last week, but not much. It would have been a lot better had they just devoted one episode to the flashback of Matt and Danny getting fired instead of stringing it out over three episodes along with the two useless storylines of Jordan’s baby and Jeter’s brother. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Ever wondered what Scooter sounded like (yes I used the elusive third person nickname)? Well if you download the latest Duckyxdale / GiveMeMyRemote podcast you canhear what I sound like as I ask them one of the most important question of recent times. So be sure to check that out to here my question and their answer.
If you remember back during the episode of Veronica Mars, I Know What You’ll Do Next Summer, the show featured the non-profit organization Invisible Children. Well Rae, who is also featured in the podcast mentioned above created a couple t-shirts to sell with $5 of each shirt sold going to the worth wild charity. You can find the shirts, available in all different types, sizes and colors, over at Printfection.com. I know what my sister will be getting for Christmas despite My Pretty Pony not making a trip through northeast Ohio (and for anyone who was wondering, I prefer long sleeved shirt). Below are examples of the two different designs:
Next Week’s Pick: Live from Abby Road, Thursday 10:00, Sundance Channel: If you are like me and have about 1000 channels of which about 990 of them you watch, you may want to dig out your TV channel guide to find out if you have the Sundance Channel and if so, what channel is it on because of the new music show live from the classic Beatles recording studio. The inaugural episode features performances from John Mayer, Norah Jones and Richard Ashcroft.
Hands down, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry will be the funniest movie of the summer. But from watching the trailer, The Ten could be a close second considering it stars Paul Rudd, Vinnie Van Lowe, the dude from the I Love the (Insert Decade), and Jessica Alba (the trailer does a much better job naming all the stars, well, by better I mean funnier). For those that do not mind a little course language and nudity (unfortunately of the male kind) check out the unrated trailer. For us prudes, below in the more formal version.
It’s summertime so that means it is time to think about summer vacation and this month’s lyrics quiz is dedicated to some good (and some not so good) recommendations on where you can go this year. As usual, place your guesses in the comment (or you can e-mail me), both artist and song title, and if you are correct I will un-bold the lyric. Now onto the lyrics:
1. I wanna take you: Bermuda, Bahamas. (Kokomo - Beach Boys; guessed by Slaygal1981)
2. I know that I must do what’s right as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti. (Africa - Toto; guessed by Slaygal1981)
3. They said that Queens could stay; they blew the Bronx away, and sank Manhattan out at sea. (Miami 2017 (I've Seen the Lights Go Out on Broadway) - Billy Joel; guessed by Tony)
4. We in that sunshine state where the bomb (expletive deleted) hemp be. The state where you never find a dance floor empty. (California Love - 2Pac and Dr. Dre; guessed by Tony)
5. Oceans of angels, oceans of stars, down by the sea is where you drown your scars. (Malibu - Hole; guessed by Tony)
6. I just wanna see some palm trees. I will try to shake away this disease. (Santa Monica - Everclear; guessed by Tony)
7. Don’t get me wrong, Chi-town got it going on, and New York is the city that we know don't sleep, and we all know that L.A. and Philly stay jiggy. (Miami - Will Smith; guessed by Slaygal1981)
8. Good morning this ain’t Vietnam still people lose hands, legs, arms for real. (Diamonds From Sierra Leone (Remix) - Kanye West; guessed by Tony)
9. You might laugh you might frown walking around Londontown. (LDN - Lily Allen; guessed by Tony)
10. Get out of California, tired of the weather. (Boston - Augustana; guessed by Tony)
11. The king he waited on my doorsteps while the Joker and me went own our way. (Tennessee - The Wreckers; guessed by Tony)
12. I’d be safe in warm if I was in L.A. (California Dreamin' - Mamas and the Papas; guessed by Tony)
13. The Ice Age is coming. The sun’s zooming in. (London Calling - The Clash; guessed by Slaygal1981)
14. No, not the one in south California. They got one in south Patagonia. (Los Angeles - Frank Black; guessed by Tony)
15. Another plane another train another bottle in the brain. (No Sleep 'til Brooklyn - Beastie Boys; guessed by Tony)
16. In Birmingham they love the governor. (Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd; guessed by Tony)
17. A movin’ like Floyd commin’ straight to Florida. Lock all your windows then block the corridors. Pullin’ off on bell ‘cause a whipping’s in order. I like a three piece fish before I cut your daughter. Yo quiero Taco Bell, then I hit the border. (B.O.B. (Bombs Over Bagdad) - Outkast; guest by Tony)
18. Used to take the subway up to Houston and 3rd, I would wait for you and I'd try to hide. (New York, New York - Ryan Adams; guessed by Slaygal1981)
19. I really like Drew Carey and I’d love to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (Ohio (Come Back to Texas) - Bowling for Soup; guessed by Slaygal1981)
20. Way down here you need a reason to move, feel a fool running your stateside games. (Mexico - James Taylor; guessed by Slaygal1981)
21. Sunday all the lights of London shining, sky is fading red to blue. (Babylon - David Gray; guessed by Slaygal1981)
22. Look at all those movie stars, they’re all so beautiful and clean. (Beverly Hills - Weezer; guessed by Slaygal1981)
23. Other arms reach out to me, other eyes smile tenderly. Still in the peaceful dreams I see the road leads back to you. (Georgia on My Mind - Ray Charles; guessed by Slaygal1981)
24. Well they blew up the chicken man in Philly last night. (Atlantic City - Bruce Springsteen; guessed by Slaygal1981)
25. All this energy calling me back where it comes from. It’s such a crude attitude, it’s back where it belongs. (Cleveland Rock - The Presidents of the United States of America; guessed by Slaygal1981)
For those that have nothing better to do tonight other than racking your brain trying to figure out these lyrics, tonight is the seasonpremiere of Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel at 9:00. Here's a press release (Personally I will be at the local Relay for Life tonight so if I have not updated the quiz with right answers, that is most likely why):
EVERGLADES
This premiere episode finds host Bear Grylls stranded in the swamps of the Florida Everglades, where each year at least 60 tourists need to be rescued. With more than a million alligators, thousands of snakes and even black bears roaming these waterlogged lands, the area has more than its share of hazards. Bear demonstrates how to keep alligators at bay, deal with vicious razor-sharp grass and find stomach-churning food that will keep you alive if you find yourself stranded in this beautiful but dangerous destination.
REAL LIFE STORIES
· After becoming stranded, a young man died of exposure after leaving his uncle in their boat to go in search of help. After slogging through swamps and 12-foot-high sawgrass, the man was found dead just 24 hours later and two miles away from his boat. Disorientation and heat exhaustion is a real problem in the swamps, even for people who live there and know the area intimately.
· A 62-year-old jogger survived for four days, stranded in waist-deep mud after getting lost and falling into a swamp during his daily run. Searchers found him stuck in a bog, covered in insect bites and drinking the fetid water surrounding him.
There is only one show that can make me flip on the clicker during the summer and luckily Rescue Me made its (almost) triumphant return last night. It has been nine months since we were left wondering if how Tommy was going to make it out of the fire after being drugged by Sheila who accidentally started the blaze and was unable to pull him to safety. And the rest of the crew wasn’t that well off either as the chief had a heart-attack, Franco failed the chief’s exam, Lou’s plan of sailing off into the sunset fell apart when he realized he didn’t have the sea legs, and Shawn was saddled with the vow of honoring Tommy’s sister the rest of his life. And apparently Probie is no longer gar nor a probie.
It apparently has been nine months on the show as Janet already had her baby whose is Tommy’s dead brother. And making it out of the fire seems to be the least of his worries now as the insurance company is on his back assuming the fire was part of fraud scheme thanks to accelerate that was found at the scene. It doesn’t help that his signature showed up on papers to insure the new house from fire and Sheila’s life not too long before the house when down. Add that to Tommy talking care of his newborn nephew, being stalked by the volunteer firefighter that pulled him out of the fire (wait, since when is being stalked by Jennifer Esposito a bad thing?), and everyone around him assuming he is going to jail, it has not been a good nine months for Tommy Gavin.
If there was a complaint about the season four premiere is that it took way to long to get to any action as them spent too much time tying up loose ends from last season. But when the crew finally went out for their first call, it was a doozie as the simple cat run turned into something more quickly. When Mike I thought, “Holy frak, they killed the Probie” and my jaw dropped as each of them dropped one by one only to see that a wall went out too saving their lives. They did a good job setting up storylines for this season besides the insurance fraud with Mike’s family health scare and Franco getting serious. And Mike isn’t the only one that is no longer gay as Colleen has also gone back to guys and has gotten a little too serious with an older man. And it is probably a good bet that the house will bet the black probie who will undoubtedly run into Franco’s girlfriend’s retarded brother.
Verdict: This episode was a little weak for a premiere but Rescue Me is still better than anything else that will air this summer and still better that most show that air in the winter. Rescue Me airs Wednesdays at 10:00 on FX.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Common has always been considered one of the most credible rappers around, well, that was until he started showing up in Gap ads and Joss Stone videos. Nice to see all his cozying up to Madison Avenue and the pop crowd hasn’t corrupted his art as The Game stands up with his best with some help from DJ Premier. And you gotta love the black and white ungrounded performance piece for the video.
You can chart the relevance of Enrique Iglesias by the co-stars in his videos. He went from Shannon Elizabeth to Jennifer Love Hewitt to Anna Kornakova to Micha Barton. And now he is just resigned to groping just random video hofessionals. But I have to admit I like the whole ping pong gimmick, but they should have made that more pronounced throughout the whole song.
During my review of the latest album from Paul McCartney (see: Searching for the Time That Went By so Fast), I mentioned that he hasn’t had a legitimate hit during since leaving Wings. Well Monique apparently took offence to that bringing up the theme to the Dan Aykroyd/Chevy Chase film Spies Like Us. I remember the movie to b a classic, but the song, not so much. So I was off to YouTube to see if there was video to listen to the song to give the song a listen and of course it was there (God bless the internets). And after listening to the song I completely stand by my no legitimate hits statement. After hearing this song, feel free to chime in on this debate and keep in mind, this was McCartney’s second highest charting song since leaving Wings.
Another old school video, this time to remind you the only summer series worth watching, no not the Flavor of Love rip-off Rock of Love staring the dude from Poison, but Rescue Me starts tonight at 10:00 on FX. And for those that are taping, be warned, much like last season, this episode is set to go long, going until 11:08. As for the song, is it wrong I still laugh when Denis Leary sings, “Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces” almost fifteen years after I first heard the song?
It has been one of those days weeks, and it looks like it may turn into one of those months. On a side note, is there anything more annoying than someone saying, "I don't want to get your hopes up but..." If you don't want to get someone's hopes up, then don't especially when you end up not delevering. But anyways. If I were to have any free times these days, they may be spent playing around with this new website I discovered a couple days ago, UnSpun. Basically you make a list and let people vote on it and create their own version and combine them all. I did make one comprised of my list of the Best Shows of 2006-2007. Below is a widget of that list and feel free to vote up or down on the curent list or use the "Add an item to this list fuction to rank your favorite shows and have it instantly be added to this chart (you must have an Amazon ID to make your list though to deture cheating).
Time has not been kind to Paul McCartney. Once the Beatles, for which Paul was the cute one (or so my mom would have me believe) were referred to as that band McCartney was in before Wings. Not only was he above John Lennon in the pecking order of the band, Lennon was actually third in the post-Beatles work. That was until he was shot to death and all that changed. People began to remember the Beatles again and are to this day widely regarded as the greatest band ever and Lennon is now considered the musical mastermind behind the group. And in the almost thirty since Lennon’s death, McCartney hasn’t had a legitimate hit aside when dueting with other artist such as Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson. What’s worse is now he is mostly known these days as the future ex-husband to a one-legged reality star.
But the lack of hits weren’t because of a lack of trying as he has released eleven albums since leaving Wings. The twelfth being the newly released Memory Almost Full, the first on the new Starbucks Hear Music label after leaving his longtime label EMI. The album comes two years after the critically acclaimed, and publicly ignored, Chaos and Creation in the Backyard. But the man behind that album, Nigel Godrich, best know for producing Radiohead, didn’t return for this go around.
Memory Almost Full starts off with the very spry ditty Dance Tonight that relies heavy on a mandolin and yet still will give you the urge to follow the song’s direction, even if you are listening to it during the day. The rest of the album, despite being listenable, comes off as derivatives of his former self. It’s hard to listen to the dark and haunting Mr. Bellamy and not think of Eleanor Rigby. McCartney is much better when he tries to create something new much with Dance Tonight. Only Mother Knows is a driving rocker that gets the job done (but doesn’t nearly rock as much as Live and Let Die).
With the lack of summer shows, the 57 Channels will most like be spotty for the next couple months if not none existent. But I would be remised if I didn’t mention something. And most know by now, CBS has ordered up a couple more episodes of Jericho, which had originally been missing from the fall lineup in part because of a fan drive that sent lots of nuts (don’t ask, I don’t know either) to network. This was a surprised to me that people cared so much of the show because it wasn’t very good and was better off being canceled. The show was so slow moving that it made Invasion seem action packed in comparison, with worse acting to boot, and I jumped ship after five or six episodes.
With the surprise renewal of Jericho, it seemed to light a fire under the Save Veronica Mars movement, a show that is more deserving of a renewal, but instead of nuts, fans started sending Mars Bars to the point that fans have bought up all remaining Mars Bars in America and have moved onto Snickers Almonds, which replaced Mars Bars in America, as well as marshmallows, because as Wallace once told Ronnie, she’s a marshmallow. In fact the company that is these foods are being bought from even set up a blog to chart the progress, you can check that out over at The Indian Food Store - Bars for Mars Campaign. All order should be made Monday June 11th at 3:00 CST to make the shipping deadline. Other good sources of the drive are at Ain’t it Cool: Mission To MARS!! CW To Be Buried UnderPallets of Diabetes-Inducing Foodstuffs?? as well as Save Veronica Mars.
Now sending food is a nice symbolic gesture, but it is possibly the only thing that will accomplish is to give The CW executives cavities. Really the best way to help save Veronica Mars is to buy its products. In conjunction with the food drive, Save Veronica Mars is also having a Veronica Mars iTunes-athon where supporters should buy, appropriately enough; The Bitch Is Back on iTunes this Tuesday, June 12th for the low, low price of $1.99. If you have a lot of disposable income, you can always buy the season pass and/or gift the episode to friends and family. Of course you can also buy the first two seasons on DVD, which would make a great present for dads and grad and of course yourself. There is no better time than now to buy it because it is currently discounted on Amazon, both under $30. The people at Save Veronica Mars even bought an ad in The Hollywood Repoter (click to enlarge):
Okay, now onto some non Veronica Mars news, there is still some time left to enter my Win a Kyle XY Prize Package, also:
Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School: There is nothing more disturbing than New York being called a “celebrity interviewer.” Well actually the 24 hour coverage on “news” station even though there was a very important immigration bill in Congress. Who is actually interested in seeing Paris being driven OJ style to court? Okay to be honest, I have enjoyed this a little thanks to Al Sharpton’s outrage and the person who, after Paris was ordered back to jail, called it the OJ decision for white people. You can download the whole season on iTunes.
Pirate Master: I have had a lot to cover lately on the 9th Green so I didn’t have time to give a proper First Impressions for this show but it is pretty much in line with the few people that have also watched it: it sucks. The show is a complete rip off of Survivor, but it is almost like the producers knew this and decided to purposely change thing to make it less like Survivor, but changed the best parts like switching teams ever week and not reading the votes off, instead the host just looking at them and telling the person who is gone. The worst though is they don’t utilize the best part of the pirate life, walking the plant. Instead the person is “cut adrift”. Lame. With that said, I’ll most likely still turn in next week.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Since coming back, the show has gotten progressively worse. It is almost like Sorkin stopped trying after he realized the show wouldn’t be coming back next year. But they did end the episode with one of my favorite songs of all-time Have a Little Faith in Me by John Hiatt. It also made a great backdrop to Matt and Harriet’s ongoing fight over religion. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Next Week’s Pick: Rescue Me, Wednesday at 10:00 on FX: The only summer show worth watching is back this week on a new day I believe (wasn’t the first three seasons on Tuesday). When we left, Tommy was drugged and in the middle of a fire. I think it is safe to assume he will make it out. Elsewhere, Shawn got married at his new dead brother in law, Franco failed his chief’s exam, Probie is no longer a probie but may or may not still be a gay homosexual, and the chief was tending bar in Neptune.
Going all the way back to the Bosom Buddies days, I have been a big Tom Hanks guy (no pun intended, okay, maybe a little). Many kids today probably never heard of that show or even now that Hanks was arguably one of the funniest men of the eighties. This may be thanks to his back to back academy awards for Philadelphia and Forrest Gump along with the one that got away, Apollo 13. With that trio of films, Hank pretty much had carte blanche to do as he pleased in Hollywood and after a few serious films, Hands decided for a lighter fair that he decided to write and direct himself.
That Thing You Do! followed the rise of a sixties band, the One-ders, from talent shows in Erie, Pennsylvania to the Billboard charts thanks their the uber-catchy song that shares the name of the movie. Even though stars in the movie, he doesn’t show up until the middle of the movie as the bands’ big time manager who wisely changes the band’s name to the Wonders to avoid confusion and mispronunciation. Instead Hanks leaves the movie in the hands of a cast who were relative unknowns back in 1996.
Leading the way was the Tom Hanks look-alike Tom Everett Scott (Dead Man on Campus) as the last minute replacement for a talent show as the band’s original drummer, played by Earl Hickey’s old pal Ralph, broke his hand right before the show. Not that he endeared himself to his new band mates, primarily principle writer Johnathon Schaech (The Sweetest Thing), who song Scott speeds up as Schaech wrote That Thing You Do as a balled. But the rest of the band, Steve Zahn (Saving Silverman) the rambunctious guitarist, and Ethan Embry (Can’t Hardly Wait) filling out the quiet one quota in the band.
And Hanks isn’t the only one in the cast with a little golden man as the film was one of the first times anyone saw Charlize Theron (Sweet November) as she shows up as Scott’s disinterested girlfriend. Then there was Liv Tyler (Jersey Girl), who may be a little more well versed in seventies rock than sixties pop, as the unofficial fifth member of the band and Schaech’s main squeeze. Hanks wasn’t shy about also giving some work to his friends and family as both his wife and kid, Colin in his first on screen roll, make cameos as well as his former Bosom BuddyPeter Scolari who hosts the Ed Sullivan like show the Wonders performs on.
Just as important as the casting was the role of writing a song that actually could have been a hit back in the sixties. And they definitely were successful with that with That Thing You Do, a catchy ditty written by Adam Schlesinger, who later got a hit singing about Stacy’s Mom with his band Fountains of Wayne years later. The song was so good that not only did the song fictitiously land in the top ten on the Billboard charts in the sixties, it peaked at forty-one back in 1996 for real.
Over ten years after its initial release, the movie gets a special edition treatment with the Tom Hanks’ Extended Cut with over thirty minutes of footage of scenes that originally saw the cutting room floor for the original theater version. This does make the the Extended Cut a little long in the tooth in parts of the film (but you can always check out the Original Theatrical Release if the extended version is too long for you). There is also a second disk chalk full of extras that includes three featurettes, a reunion of the cast, HBO First Look, your garden variety of TV spots and trailers, and more.
That Thing You Do! Tom Hanks’ Extended Cut gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Take out the obvious Karma Police rip off of an ending, and the latest from the Arctic Monkeys could be the most entertaining video of the year. C’mon, old dudes and clowns beating the crap out of each other, how has someone not thought of this already?
I never thought it would happen, but someone when and made Hilary Duff remotely attractive, specifically the Indian set up and the purple dress look. Granted even though she looks almost good, it is still hard not to laugh during her dance sequence. As for the plot of the video, your guess is as good as mine.
I’m not sure what we need less in the world, another silly little pop song that shamelessly exploits the war, this time from a Canadian no less, are a love song written about the dude from Sum41. Okay, but at least the whole walls falling down near the end were pretty cool so I will give Avril Lavigne some points there.
I own every Beastie Boys album, but I’m not sure I can get behind an album of all instrumentals. They are cool when they slip one or two on a usual album and The Rat Cage is really funky, but I’m sure I would want to hear their trademark quirky lyrics eventually. Hopefully one of those isn’t too far behind. As for the video, it is still classic Beasties.
![Terror Alert Level: Guarded [BLUE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzCbHfExiuXqojow1zxkBUX6j-9BHg9IyrfzqR77jnja2Xq6dbv-7iiqMFzp_UKXGcUF9FyAHqCkNxa5uitXa5Xu2Q1OboN9-TLjsaeI1a2eoGLORU4vkTQ54l1C-_cZyn81QHyQ/s400/small_guarded.png)
on my Terror Alert Scale.
![Terror Alert Level: High [ORANGE]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhebDZ0qqwOVKMZj7oFSUe8Hm3ax54U9Hp1fThJPgiddTyzcdwx_5SV6E3b7hkKyxbaDiym4COmUXT2YJnsKCUjBHI_a2xZtNoY7qFQRslP5AGO5gLkJwn2ZbO0wIF80ycbKrgPPA/s400/small_high.png)
on my 
. I remember the movie to b a classic, but the song, not so much. So I was off to YouTube to see if there was video to listen to the song to give the song a listen and of course it was there (God bless the internets). And after listening to the song I completely stand by my no legitimate hits statement. After hearing this song, feel free to chime in on this debate and keep in mind, this was McCartney’s second highest charting song since leaving Wings.
![Terror Alert Level: Elevated [YELLOW]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6-iVFV0hXCTSYP16K_V0Rrxp3GqFrtBIJKeTUyQ2LpxZQ9XKHFj6QGtqqa7oxhLadLV8vUj8R84AftD8IKUSfN0u_u0CYDtJwhrpCPN2DBWquAIDv0jbVlhZL0mDFKlPKluGyxw/s400/small_elevated.png)
on my 
