It’s not all that uncommon to see the same themes throughout the entertainment industry. A couple summers ago there were competing asteroid destroying the Earth movies, this past year there were two television shows that dealt with backstage at a Saturday Night Live clone ironically on the same network. And last week, there was not one, but two music videos premieres that featured the singer as a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. Again the irony being that they are both on the same record label. So let’s fire up a game of Toss Up to see which video is better. First let’s take a look at the two videos:
To check out the videos on YouTube, click the bold links above the videos, to buy the songs, click on their names in the Toss Up below, also if you want to buy the Avril Lavigne video, click here. Now to the Toss Up:
Sounds Like Christina Aguilera: Something from a World War II USO Avril Lavigne: Something from an Ashlee Simpson album Winner: Christina Aguilera
Looks Like Christina Aguilera: A drag queen Avril Lavigne: Christina circa 1999 with bad teeth Winner: Avril Lavigne
Former Look Christina Aguilera: A dirrty, dirrty girl Avril Lavigne: A tie wearing pseudo punk Winner: Christina Aguilera
Obscene Lyric Christina Aguilera: He’s my one stop shop with a real big (expletive deleted) Avril Lavigne: Don’t pretend that I think you know I’m (expletive deleted) precious and (expletive deleted) yeah I’m the (expletive deleted) princess Winner: Avril Lavigne
Dance Sequence Christina Aguilera: Something out of a gap commercial ten years ago Avril Lavigne: Something from a Tony Basil video two decades ago Winner: Christina Aguilera
Hang Out Christina Aguilera: A malt shop Avril Lavigne: A putt-putt golf course Winner: Avril Lavigne
Song Promotes Christina Aguilera: Monogamy Avril Lavigne: Home wrecking Winner: Christina Aguilera
Daring Fashion Choice Christina Aguilera: The Aunt Jemima bandana Avril Lavigne: Knee high striped socks with high heels Winner: Avril Lavigne
YouTube Views (as of when I posted this) Christina Aguilera: 23,416 Avril Lavigne: 146,852 Winner: Avril Lavigne
Husband Christina Aguilera: Some random Jewish dude Avril Lavigne: The dude from Sum41 Winner: Christina Aguilera
As a Blonde Winner: Christina Aguilera
As a Brunette Winner: Christina Aguilera
As a Redhead Winner: Avril Lavigne
So there you have it, by the numbers, Christina Aguilera is your winner. Agree, disagree? That’s what the comment section is for. (Did I mention I recently got rid of the Word Verification? But I did make it so you cannot comment anonymously to combat spammers)
Where hard core fans continually blame repeats and direct competition with American Karaoke for the shrinking ratings and disinteresting episodes but after the last two weeks, ABC’s promo department is becoming a big problem for the show. Last week it promised three big mysteries revealed and most were struggling to figure out what exactly they were (tattoos, seriously?). Then this week there was something we couldn’t miss because there was something because everyone would be talking the next day. But most people were left asking the next day on what they should have been talking about. But on the other end of the spectrum, promos for Veronica Mars set the bar so low with disinteresting promises of more Ronnie and Logan drama that the actual episodes never fail to exceed expectations. Now it’s time for the last Toss Up between the two shows for two months thanks to the Search for the Next Talentless Singer replacing Veronica Mars over that time span, so let’s see how goes into the hiatus with a win:
Insult Lost: “I’m just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are” Veronica Mars: “Red… Neck… Man” Winner: Veronica Mars
Dead Chick Lost: Tricia Tanaka got hit by a meteor Veronica Mars: Mindy O’Dell was pushed overboard by here lover Winner: Lost
Oscar Homage Lost: The gang drives around in a VW bus just like in Little Miss Sunshine Veronica Mars: Almost everyone dies just like in The Departed Winner: Veronica Mars
Where Was Lost: Libby, because it was a Hurley flashback Veronica Mars: Dick, because, well, he’s Dick Winner: Veronica Mars
Mode of Transportation Lost: A wrecked Dharma bus Veronica Mars: A boat bought with insurance money Winner: Veronica Mars
From the 80’s Lost: The dude from Cheech & Chong not named Chong Veronica Mars: The dude from St. Elsewhere not named Denzel Winner: Veronica Mars
All Alone Lost: While Jin and Charlie had their significant others to talk to about all the excitement, Sawyer had no one to talk to about it Veronica Mars: While Logan and Parker are getting friendlier, Ronnie is again spending her free time solving crimes Winner: Veronica Mars
Teaming Up Lost: Hurley got Jin, Charlie and Sawyer to get the van up and running Veronica Mars: Ronnie and Not-Lucky teamed up to get Landry out of jail Winner: Lost
Ending Lost: Kate hunts down Rousseau to help rescue Jack Veronica Mars: Ronnie and Keith watch the new during dinner Winner: Lost
On the Internet Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Tricia Tanaka Is Dead on iTunes Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Papa's Cabin on iTunes
Okay, let’s get back to the promo I was talking about in the opening. What exactly were we supposed to be talking about? Was it the car they found? Was it that Charlie didn’t die? Was it the return of Rousseau? Those promos are really starting to be a detriment to the show. This lead to a rare boring Hurley-centric episode which is extra surprising considering not even Cheech could save it. And you guessed it, Hurley, much like everyone else on the island, has daddy issues. Yawn.
And like most Lost episodes, they save the only interesting part of the episode for last, which I presume is what we were supposed to be talking about with the return of Rousseau who wasn’t seen on screen for 355 days. Can we please get a Rousseau flashback now please? Her and Not-Henry are the really the only flashbacks I’m interested in right now. At this point I really don’t care how Locke got in the wheelchair. But being that this Lost I have a feeling it will take the rest of the season for them to find The Others home. Although, once again the promo looked good as it looks like they find One Eyed Willie. Let hope that the next episode actually lives up to the hype this time.
I already talked about the most recent episode of Veronica Mars which you can find here: I Like this Show, its Tawdry week 6. I finally got chance to watch it again and everything made much more sense the second time around. So if you are still confused by something, be sure to check the links above. For everyone else, below is a video of my favorite line from the episode. Is it May 1st yet?
Like most accused pretentious music critics, I have that one band that no one has heard of and then get all uppity whenever someone has the audacity to say they have never heard of said band. For me it is The Refreshments. (Wait, you’ve never heard of The Refreshments? Loser.) The band had a modest hit, Banditos, back in the mid-nineties off the greatest drinking album ever Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big & Buzzy which is appropriately being inducted into the Scooter Hall of Fame during the month with the greatest drinking day of the year, St. Patrick’s Day.
Banditos is definitely the centerpiece on the album, but Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big & Buzzy has plenty of other catchy, south of the border tunes to fill the album out starting with the driving rocker Blue Collar Suicide. Every southern rock trick are scattered throughout the album and the boys even break out a mariachi band feel on Mexico. Even when the band slows down, it doesn’t miss a step like on Mekong which should be required to be on every jukebox in a down on your luck bar.
As great as the music is, it is the quotable lyrics that push the album into legendary status, some of which I still use frequently to this day. In fact, just the other day when someone tried to defend watching Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader by saying a lot of people watched it, I shot back, “as a wise man once said, ‘Everybody knows the world is full of stupid people.’” And you have to give it up to singer Roger Clyne who can turn clichéd lines like, “What’s girl like you doing in a place like this?” which are scattered throughout the album, into something cool.
With all the tongue in cheek, and songs about beer and woman fun, The Refreshment cap the album with stellar Nada where they show off the serious rock side. The epic song is a great ending to the album which will make you reach for the repeat button. Unless of course you are going to switch the album out for the follow up, The Bottle and the Horse, a potential SHoF’er in its own right. Unfortunately these are the only two albums the band made before breaking up, but if these two albums leave you wanting more, be sure to check out former singer’s latest band, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers.
In a side note to the band, I had the pleasure of seeing the band live when a buddy of mine drug me to one of those radio sponsored all day festivals to see No Doubt. The Refreshments were on the second stage and even though it was two years after the legendary Green Day mud fight at Woodstock ’94 goof balls were still digging up the turf after a long rain to pelt the bands and some moron actually knocked out the lead singer’s mike during Banditos without the dude even knowing so here’s the dude singing along even though no one could hear him. Aw, the good ol’ days when hooliganism was socially acceptable.
From the beginning of the latest arc on Veronica Mars, I was hoping they would switch thing from the usually, something dramatic happens to Veronica, Veronica does everything in her powers to bring the suspect down, when she does, it ends in a dramatic showdown when the suspect comes out of left field giving a Austin Powers type reveal of why he did it. And with that said the ending of the latest (last?) arc was satisfying. Was it the best arc finale? No. I’d even go as far as saying the episode wasn’t as good as last week’s stellar Mars Bars. If you missed Papa’s Cabin, be sure to stream it on CWTV.com or download it on iTunes. (Note: as I write this the episode has yet to be uploaded because The CW isn’t that good at being prompt at getting their latest episode out. It is usually up by late Thursday, so check back later if it is still not up.)
Thanks to The CW’s laziness, I haven’t gotten a chance to re-watch the episode, and I may have a better appreciation for this episode after a second viewing, catching some clues I missed the first time around. In fact I really need to go back and re-watch all the episodes in this arc especially the one where Ronnie finds out that Not-Lucky was looking into the Dean’s murder before it got out that it wasn’t a suicide. From the latest epidode, I wasn’t able to think of why Not-Lucky bothered to help Landry to get out jail by “finding” his alibi. And why didn’t Not-Lucky just let the Landry/Mindy relationship out of the bag knowing that it would bring Landry down. Or was Plan A hoping that Ronnie would do it for him when he put her on the trail and setting him up for the Dean’s murder was Plan B.
But the actual reveal was great in that it was something. I hadn’t been looking at my clock, so I actually thought that the case was solved when they captured Landry, and it was definitely a fitting ending where he and Mindy both thought the other did it and later thought the other was trying to set the other one up for the fall. But you have to feel bad for the youngest O’Dell, his step-father is killed, then his father gets gunned down by the police, then his mother gets murdered by her lover. But back to the reveal, how fitting was that Ronnie is the one to explain the motive and execution to the culprit right in a criminology class? It was a great bookend to the first scene of the season where Vee showed up Not-Lucky with the Riverboat Mystery.
Elsewhere Logan and Parker are hooking up. This could have been saved for the stand alone episodes but it did led to the great line where Ronnie told Wallace, “I’m trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are” when brought up the two were having lunch. And if I’m not mistaken, I thought that Parker was questionable about hanging out with Logan because she didn’t want to lose a friend like Vee, but when Logan broached the subject with Ronnie she said they aren’t that close. Mmm.
I will have more on this Friday after I watch the episode again when I have the last Toss Up for two months thanks to The Search for the New Talent less Singer Pussycat Doll. What’s sad is there was an ad for the show in the latest Rolling Stone (where’s the promotion for their scripted shows?) and I couldn’t tell you if the girls in the ad were actual Pussycat Dolls are contestants for the reality show. Two months is a long time for a new Veronica Mars, but they actually have a decent promo hyping its return. C’mon, how can you go wrong with Ronnie and a paintball gun? Also if you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out the hilarious video of Kristen Bell and Chris Lowell interviewing each other.
During the Big in 2006 Awards, VH1 unveiled some of the new shows that they would be putting on the air early this year. They hyped the return of Hogan Knows Best, as well as spin-offs of Flavor of Love and The Surreal Life. But the most intriguing ad was for the new reality show, Ego Trip’s The (White) Rapper Show. The show could have easily have been the best or worst reality show ever and luckily it was definitely more of the former. The show wasn’t your token, dudes singing karaoke kind of talent show, which is a good thing as none of the contestants could land a record contract on their own laurels unless they manage to marry a mentally unstable pop star (and for those looking for one, I have Hilary Duff in the office poll).
Instead of being solely a talent competition, the show relied on some of the silliest games for the contestants to play, my favorite being the ghetto version of Family Feud with topics like stereotypes that Black people secretly believe. And if you need for me to tell you want was number one on the board, obviously you have never met a black dude before. In between the silliness, there were more credible tasks, but these were only entertaining in how bad they were at trying to rap.
Overseeing the whole event was MC Serch, who was good for a laugh every time he showed up if only because they always flashed “Hip Hop Icon” on the screen whenever he appeared. I was a big 3rd Base fan back in the day, even bust out Derelicts of Dialects ever once and a while, but “Hip Hop Icon” he’s not. And he wasn’t the only old school cat to make an appearance as somehow Ego Trip rounded up other “Icons” such as Grandmaster Flash, Prince Paul (who helped judging every once in a while), Bushwick Bill of the Geto Boys and whities Everlast and Kid Rock.
The contest came down $hamrock and the biggest goof of them all John Brown who would have gotten anyone massively drunk if they played a drinking game where they took a shot whenever he uttered the words, “King of the ‘Burbs,” “Ghetto Revival,” “ or Hallelujah Holla Back.” But a surprise happened on the way to the final as John Brown turned out to be the most solid performer throughout the show, and I never though I would say this when the show began, but John Brown got jobbed in the end when the judges declared $hamrock the next white hope. Controversy aside, the show is up there as one of the best reality seasons ever and hopefully VH1 brings it back soon than later. Or even switch things up and have a (Female) Rapper Show, (Asian) Rapper Show, or recruit Snow to be the host of The (Canadian) Rapper Show. If so, just make sure you bring back the giant cockroach.
Tomorrow should see the conclusion of the Dean O’Dell murder case before Veronica Mars goes on hiatus so The Search for the Next Talentless Singer Pussycat Doll can air. I wonder if Rob Thomas sees the irony that we were introduced to Parker earlier this season to one of their songs. But anyway. Back to the topic on hand, who killed the Dean? With the lesser number of episodes, this means we have a much smaller list of suspects compared to the 154 different suspects we had last year for how crashed the bus and here they are with the odds on weather they did it. Go ahead and place your bets in the comment section*.
Chip Dillar (99:1) - One of the many notches on Mrs. O’Dell’s headboard but has been conspicuously absent during the arc.
Someone on the Board of Trustees (90:1) - Surely pissed off over half the board when he made one vote in the Greek system case ineligible so he could overturn the verdict especially the trustee who set to profit from kicking the Greeks off campus. Granted we only have seen one trustee, Patty Hearst, who doesn’t have a strong motive.
The Dean’s Son (85:1) - Never really cared too much for his dad but the question though is how he knew of Veronica’s term paper and would be smart enough to use it.
Dean O’Dell (75:1) - Here’s the ultimate twist, Lamb was actually right the first time and made it seem like a homicide knowing that his wife and the person she cheated with were the main suspects. But would he go so far as to not drink his precious scotch.
Tim Foyle (60:1) - He had easy access to Ronnie’s paper as he was the one who posted it to the internet but why would he be secretly investigating the case when it was ruled a suicide.
Mel Stoltz (50:1) - Wasn’t too compassionate when he heard the coach died so it would be surprising if he had a hand in the Dean’s murder except why would he kill someone who it looked like was in his back pocket as his influence got the Dean to reinstate the Greeks upon his visit.
The Field (45:1) - If you think it was anyone not listed, place your bets here. Do you have a far out theory that it was coach Berry exacting revenge for something before he eventually killed himself. Maybe you though it was Lamb before he die or even Mercer did it before getting caught for the rapes (remember the Dean owed him money). If so place your bets here.
Steve Botando (40:1) - My preseason pick. Of course he’s dead himself now and like Keith pondered does he have the mental capacity to carry out the perfect murder so that lowers his stock. But how exactly did his print end up on the keyboard?
Lilith House Member (25:1) - They were outside the Dean’s office around the time of the murder with Nish’s whereabouts in question and they definitely had motive after he reinstated the Greeks and presumably had everyone involved in egging his car expelled. After every other big bad being dudes, could we have our first female perp?
Mindy O’Dell (10:1) - Her alibi is definitely in question but why hire a PI to look into your husband’s murder if you were in fact the one who did it. Well unless you though you had covered your tracks enough and all you need was the PI to find out it was a murder, but would find a dead-end finding out it was her.
Hank Landry (5:1) - We know that the Dean confronted Hank in the hotel room and we know from Jeff Ratner that they argued loudly, but the words that were exchanged are still unknown, hopefully we get a flashback so we know once and for all went down there. Keith isn’t the only one who is on Landry’s tail either as someone else planted a bug in his cell phone (which I’m betting was Not-Lucky).
* This game is strictly for entertainment purposes only, no money is meant to change hands. Unless of course you would like to donate to the Scooter McGavin is Poor Fund.
Quote of the Week: If I was a little younger, a little less famous, and made a little less money, I would… (Chandler - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip)
Song of the Week:Didn’t We Almost Have it All - Whitney Houston (as sung by Squatch and Louis - The Knights of Prosperity)
Big News of the Week: The two funniest shows on television are now available on iTunes. You can now download episodes from the latest seasons of My Name Is Earl and Everybody Hates Chris for your viewing pleasures. I’m not sure why all of the new shows that have popped up on iTunes this year only have the latest seasons available but I guess it’s better than nothing. Also showing up this week is the new comedy Rules of Engagement and you can even download the Pilot for free. Click on the names to be taken to their iTunes pages.
Heroes: Well that was anticlimactic, we have already seen Peter fly and Simone was easily the most disposable on account that she didn’t really add anything to the show so no shock there. Oh well, at least next week looks really good when Mr. Bennett gets the table turned on him. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: And they had to ran the commercial for The Black Donnellys about twenty-five times on Monday which is about twenty-five times more times than I’ll actually watch the show. It’s funny how it continually mentions the show is from the dude behind Crash (which was absolutely horrendous) yet never mentions the dudes last serialized project, Walker, Texas Ranger. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Friday Night Lights: One of the many reasons why this show is so good is that they can go from the funny scene with Buddy confessing his infidelity to Coach Taylor (whenever Taylor plays he annoyed but not angry scenes are my favorites after ones with Landry) and goes straight into Coach’s wife confronting their daughter after seeing her boyfriend buying condoms in a goose bump scene if there ever were one. The will they or won’t they that bogged down the second half was a little much though. Maybe I’m a little bitter that I never hear those six words uttered to me in high school. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Lets Rob Mick Jagger: Quite possibly my favorite episode yet. The show is at its best whenever all the Knights are together like they were locked in the panic room and the changing clock got a good laugh every time. And it looks like they will have a new target next week now that they have given up on Mick Jagger. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.
Survivor: Yeah, this have and have-nots is turning out to be the worst idea ever for the show. The better switch something up soon. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.
The Black Donnellys isn’t the only new Must Flee TV for me this week as we also get the new Fox (naturally) game show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? And if you watch, the simple answer is no, because you, my sir, are a moron.
Promo of the Week: In his spare time from robbing Mick Jagger it looks like Eugene Gurkin like posting videos to YouTube. Below is one of my favorite scenes that he has posted but I also highly recommend Rockefeller’s Ladies, The Low Down, and The Gang Enters Mick Jagger’s Apt or just check out all of Eugene’s Videos.
Pick of the Week: Veronica Mars, Tuesday 9:00, The CW. The last episode until April and we should expect fallout from Lamb’s death, the Logan/Parker newly formed friendship and if time remains we may even find out who killed the Dean. Speaking of which, make sure you check back tomorrow or sometime before the show to see the latest round of Oddsmakers to see a round up of all the suspects. Of course you can always check up on the mystery streaming the last four episodes over at CWTV.com or download the whole season to date over at iTunes.
There are very few things I could care less about than the Oscars. I have only watched the ceremony once and that was because Chris Rock was hosting. The show doesn’t appear on my radar mostly because every year, the categories are filled with movies I have never seen, and this year was no different as when the nominations were announced I hadn’t seen any movies in any of the major categories, but I had checked out Click which was actually nominated for something. What is worse is in the rare occurrence I do see a film that is not only nominated, but actually wins Best Picture, I find it to be the biggest waste of my time ever, much like the horrendous Crash last year (see my review: The Closest You Ever Came to Being Black Was Watching the Cosby Show).
Since the nominations, I have checked out one of the most nominated films, The Departed, if only to see how Mark Walberg could get nominated for an Oscar. Keep in mind folks; we are living in a time where both Marky Mark and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air both got nominated for an Oscar in the same year. To put that in perspective, it would be like predicting today that Kevin Federline and Nelly get nominated in 2021. But anyways.
After deviating into a bio flick and chronicling Bob Dylan’s music, Martin Scorcese is back to what he does back, directing a mobster movie. The twist though is the kingpin at the heart of the movie, Jack Nicholson (Batman), has groomed an informant since boyhood to join the Massachusetts State Police force, played by Matt Damon (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). On the other side, the stare police planted their very one cadet, Leonardo DiCaprio (Growing Pains), on the road to crime, having the guy commit crimes to get him some jail time as well as some street cred. Naturally, the two informants come close to crossing paths without each other knowing the true identity of each other although Scorcese takes this a little too far with both boys taking up with the same girl at different parts of the movie.
But the predictability stops there. Once both of the boys are fully imbedded, the movie starts its twist and turns that is doubtfully anyone will come seeing. Yeah, the movie is a little long in part that it takes a while to get to that point, and it seems that no one really knew what would be the best way to end the movie so it take a while to wrap up properly. But it is a thoroughly enjoyable ride as a whole and the acting plays a big role as Nicholson naturally nails his performance as some of the smaller roles played by Alec Baldwin (30 Rock) as the captain and Martin Sheen (The West Wing) also as a Captain and one of only two who know that DiCaprio is undercover.
The other being Marky Mark (of the Funky Bunch) who performance left me wondering how exactly he got a the nomination, he only shows up occasionally to drop expletives (the movie features 237 F Bombs) in the most exaggerated Bostonian accent despite being a native of the city. To think, another of Boston’s sons, Denis Leary passed on the role because it conflicted with Rescue Me. Now that would have made an already good movie better.
Nothing like good ol’ reality television to let me know that I’m not a big as a nerd as some would have me to believe. Every year for the past three years, the self proclaimed twisted mind of Ashton Kutcher has provided plenty of them on Beauty and the Geek to make me look like the dude from The Notebook in comparison. And after a poor casting round for the second installment, the third group of geeks may be the geekiest of them all. From a Star Wars fan to a Trekkie (err apparently they like being called Trekkers) to a guy who knows pi to hundreds of places.
On the other side of the coin, the beauties were led by quite possibly the two dumbest contestants in the show’s short history. Every week Cecille Gahr and Megan Hauserman would say something so dumb you hope for their sakes that the producers were feeding them the line because no one should be that stupid, my personal favorite being Megan’s, “I’m a good screwer, in response to her winning the doghouse building challenge. Seriously, if tennis was Megan’s favorite activity that she wanted to share with Scooter, how could she not at least know how to keep proper score?
Unfortunately they were also the downfall for this season as the two girls that seemed to change the least, especially Cecille who seemed to revile in her Mean Girls persona and said she was traumatized at having to be nice to people when it was reveled that the ousted teams would be the ones to pick the winners. What’s worse is the girl isn’t all that attractive and if there was a place to bet on her looking like one of those creepy chicks that have had ten too many plastic surgeries within five years (like the naked model in the one guy’s challenge), I’d bet my life savings.
Also a disappointment was the lame “reunion” special which lacked an actual reunion aside from Nate Dern and Jennylee Berns. Instead of having a usual reunion with all the contestants in front of an audience, we get them all separate in a hotel interview. Not that there were many of those as it was more of a recap show with an occasional “never before seen” scenes that actually could have been seen on its website for weeks.
Now if you think you are a huge geek are extremely hot dumb, you can download an application from The CW website too. Now I got to figure out how to geeky enough to get myself on the show. And hopefully this if for the last time, but no, I am from the Show.
This week Lost promised three big mysteries solved while Veronica Mars pulled off one of the biggest shockers of the year. So let’s see who comes out on top of the second to last Toss Up for a while.
New Sheriff in Town Lost: The creepy old chick Veronica Mars: Keith is back in charge Winner: Veronica Mars
Big Guest Star Lost: The dude from 21 Jump Street Veronica Mars: The chick from, um, well, let check out imdb.com, oh yeah, But Can They Sing? Winner: Veronica Mars
Shot Down Lost: Juliet looks calm while taking down her fellow Other in the Previously On segment Veronica Mars: Saks is probably still shaking after gunning down the dude from 21 Jump Street Winner: Lost
Random Hook Up Lost: Jack and the chick from But Can They Sing? Veronica Mars: Logan and Parker Winner: Veronica Mars
Behind Bars Lost: Jack gets moved to the bear cage Veronica Mars: Veronica starts the show in the slammer Winner: Veronica Mars
MIA Lost: Everyone on the original island Veronica Mars: Dick and Piz Winner: Lost
Inked Up Lost: Jack gets a tattoo for, um, yeah, I really missed why Veronica Mars: Ronnie gets a tattoo for street cred in the joint Winner: Veronica Mars
In the Water Lost: Sawyer, Kate and other dude take a boat to get back to the main island Veronica Mars: Parker and Logan swim out past the breaker to get the last clue Winner: Veronica Mars
On the Internet Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Stranger in a Strange Land on iTunes Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Mars Bars on iTunes
This was easily was the biggest blowout in the year and a half I’ve been doing the Toss Up’s. I guess that will happen when you promise to reveal three big mysteries and fail to deliver. Speaking of the three, does anyone know exactly what they were? By my count, one was what happened to the flight attendant, although that wasn’t revealed in last week’s promo and we still don’t know why or what exactly what she is doing now. Second is we learned the history of Jack’s tattoo which I never realized were a big mystery until this episode. And the third I’m grasping at straws, but was it that The Others live on the big island, not the smaller one? So nothing about the smoke monster, nothing on Dharma, nothing on what The Others are doing or got there, we didn’t learn why Locke is in a wheelchair, who is Sun’s baby daddy, if Not-Henry is really Alex’s biological daddy, who the one eye man is, or what’s up with the statue leg. Oh well, at least there were no dream sequences this week.
But if you are interested on watching a show where all the big mysteries get answered in a timely fashion, there is always Veronica Mars. But after this episode, you really can’t talk about any mystery first; no you have to start at the end with the shocking death of Sheriff Don Lamb. I’m still in shock to the point I even came up with a theory on how Lamb is still alive. Here it goes: Lamb being in such a bad condition and unable of going after Mrs. O’Dell for putting him in that condition, decided to let his vengeance overpower his hatred for Keith to let people think he’s dead so Keith would replace him and go after O’Dell.
Other reasons to why Lamb may not be dead: His last words were, “I smell bread.” Seriously, how could they make that someone’s last words? The Mars’ are much better as anti-establishment so Keith as Sheriff wouldn’t work in the long term plus it would kill off Mars Investigations. And with MI no longer around, who would Ronnie moonlight for, Vinnie Van Lowe? And with Lamb gone, the Mars’ lose their best archenemies, after Ronnie/Dick scenes, Lamb with either Mars are the best on the show. Really, why do birds suddenly appear whenever he is near?
Okay, enough Lamb talk as he wasn’t the only one to die this episode either as my pre-arc pick of Steve Batando got taken out. So much for that pick. And our first two episode mystery of the week was solved but I’m not a fan of the dude doing it himself. Granted I was really hoping it was going to tie into the Dean’s death. Oh well.
Then there was Ronnie behind bars scene which was yet another instant classic for the show. You gotta love Keith, “I thought I’d be a little more traumatized by this, but I’m not” line. It was also a cheap catalyst for the B storyline with the Valentines scavenger hunt. Despite the cheesy start, Parker may just be a better fit for Logan than Vee. Although I’m not sure if Logan is the best thing for Parker right now. And speaking of the scavenger hunt how is that page from the Karma Sutra even work in the real world? If there are any token hot chick in Northeast Ohio that would like to help me figure that out, just shout me a holla.
Next week we supposable learn who killed the Dean and it looks like Keith didn’t learn from his mistakes from his last tenure and goes after Professor Landry pretty hard. Maybe this will be his downfall as sheriff once again. Also be sure to check back Monday as I’ll put up my official odds on who killed the Dean.
Before I get into some of the most entertaining music videos, I have to first say: Holy Frak! They killed Lamb! Be sure to turn in tomorrow to see my theory on why Lamb isn’t really dead. Now back to your regularly scheduled post:
There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.
Norah Jones has gotten a bad rap for making sleep inducing music, but these videos are a complete 180 from their musical counterpart. I’m not sure what is more bizarre, the people in their underwear or Norah in a rat suit. Actually, now that I’ve thought about it, definitely Norah playing piano in a rat suit. You can check out my review of her album here: Love in the Time of War Is not Fair.
Do we really need a black and white Carrie Underwood video? Much like a nine minute Justin Timberlake video, the simple answer is no. With that and the cookie cutter model straight from the J. Crew catalogue and the beach locale it looks like they are trying to rip of the Wicked Game video but with the best parts removed (i.e. hot naked chick covered in sand). But I’ll give Underwood a pass because she is what I like to call moderately attractive. And the song is quite possible my favorite off her album. Take that American Karaoke fans who say I never have anything nice to say about the show or its karaokers. You can check out my review of her album here: Oh, There's Nothing Like Oklahoma.
Is it too early to call Gnarles Barkley the greatest one hit wonder ever? That question could hinge on the band getting another one, which didn’t happen with Gone Daddy Gone. Smiley Faces may lift them out of the category being that it is uber-catchy (though not as near as Crazy was). But at the very least they make some of the best videos around. And how can you not love a mocumentary that features Dennis Hopper and the dude from Quantum Leap?
Of all the pseudo-punk bands that have flooded the airwaves, Fall Out Boy were by far the band the sucked the least. Part of it could be that the band seems not to take themselves as seriously as their peers and their songs like Sugar, We’re Going Down and Dance, Dance weren’t dragged down by teen angst but were upbeat and sing-a-long staples while driving two years ago. Well they would have been if you could understand what singer Patrick Stump was saying so you had to make up your own lyrics sometimes. But if there were a Jump the Shark moment for music, it would definitely be the Thriller rip-off video for the song that would double the length of this post if I typed it. Since then the band lost even more of its thunder as rip of bands like Panic! at the Disco has gotten as much, if not more recognition and somehow even longer song titles.
Now the band is back to answer if a sophomore slump can pertain to a band’s fourth album Infinity on High. Just from looking at the track list you can tell it is still the same Fall Out Boy with their titles that range from lengthy (I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me + You)) to tounge in cheek (The Carple Tunnel of Love) and could possibly be the first band to have a less than sign in a song title with Fame (Less Than) Infamy. The album for some reason starts off with Jay-Z. No he isn’t rapping, just thanking all the fans, which really just happers the opeing track, Thiller (no not a Michael Jackson cover).
Jay-Z isn’t the only unexpected guest on the album as Babyface helms the production and plays some instruments on a few songs on the album. And there in lies the biggest problem with the album, much like a band that bassist Pete Wentz doesn’t care too much for, The Killer, Fall Out Boy tries too hard to push the boundaries but falls flat doing so. This is most apparent on I’m a Lawyer…, one of Babyface’s songs, where the band goes way too far into the easy listening genre with paint by numbers melody. Same with The (After) Life of the Party which sounds like something off the soundtrack of a lost John Hughes movie. On the other end of the spectrum, The Carpel Tunnel of Love inexplicably features a scream-core ending.
One of the few places where the band goes out of their comfort zone and excels is on Golden, a striped down song based around primarily a piano. But the band can still is at its best with their cheesy pop songs. And this time the sing-a-long are even more overt like in the first single, This Ain’t a Scene, it’s an Arms Race where they suggest, nee order you to sing along at the end. And it is doubtful that you will just hum along to Hum Hallelujah. But nothing here is as catchy as Sugar, We’re Going Down.
Big News of the Week: As I mentioned earlier this week, MeeVee has been revamped with all new featured. For more information on the change and how it benefits you, check out lowdown on GiveMeMyRemote.
How I Met Your Mother: They really should have stuck with the Barney running a marathon because the other storylines were a little boring. At the end, future Ted again brings up their mother which oddly I care least about the show. Check out the latest episode on Innertube.
Heroes: Mmm, “Someone flies, someone dies.” Not as catchy as previous taglines. Also, is this someone else that flies besides the Patrelli’s? As for the dies part, I’d put my money on Nikki/Jessica.Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Aww, the late nineties, Eagle Eye Cherry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Y2K. Unfortunately it was all under the guise of Chandler’s hallucinations so this was the shows first misstep this season really with nothing much happening. And did we always now Luke worked at Studio 60? And why were they using his eight year old sketch in the present day show? Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
The (White) Rapper Show: From the start I thought they were angling for a Persia/Sullie final but they both had to step off in the past two episodes. Could the King of the Burbs really be the next (White) Hope?
Friday Night Lights: I’m hoping that Tyra gets really drunk sometimes soon and hooks up with Landry. He trying to hit on her was more Landry classic, especially getting caught in the strip club. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
Beauty and the Geek: I would like to thank everyone who sent me congratulations for winning despite multiple times stating I’m not the Scooter from the show. Check out the latest episode on CWTV.com .
Let's Rob Mick Jagger: After the brilliant speech that the Token Hot Chick gave in the pilot that got her into the gang, I didn’t think the legend of Rico could be topped, but the Rico was even funnier in person. Check out the latest episode over at ABC.com.
Smallville: Lana has been pregnant a little too long for not even showing yet.
My Name Is Earl: It’s a little disappointing that we finally learned how Earl wronged the one legged lady in such a overall weak episode although the Fat Bottom Girls segment was great. Check out the latest episode over at NBC.com.
The Office: Holy David Daskell sighting! But I can’t imagaine it was a good idea for Jim to let Dwight think he was a vampire. Jim should know by now that Dwight would go so far as to stick a stake threw his heart.
Pick of the Week: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Monday, 10:00 NBC. This is the last episode before it goes on hiatus before The Black Donnelley’s. Hey at least it’s not being replaced for the Pussycat Dolls. After a rare off week, this episode should go out with a bang.
Lost is at its best this season whenever they focus on The Others, who were absent this week. While as Veronica Mars oddly enough is at its best whenever there is a scene in an elevator, which featured on in the past episode. But let’s see which episode was truly better by the numbers.
Words of Wisdom Lost: Desmond got some from old chick that may or may not be a figment of his imagination Veronica Mars: Logan got some from some young chick that may or may not be Dick’s sister-in-law Winner: Veronica Mars
Music Requests Lost: As a street-side performer in Desmond’s flashback/dream, Charlie played Oasis’s Wonderwall Veronica Mars: Heather requested Nick Lachey’s What’s Left of Me for Logan Winner: Veronica Mars
Return of the Evil Lost: Mr. Widmore makes an appearance in Desmond’s flashback/dream to crush Desmond Veronica Mars: Mr. Stultz returns as a suspect in the coach’s murder Winner: Lost
Wait, They Are Still on the Show? Lost: Pretty much any of the original passengers Veronica Mars: Wallace Winner: Veronica Mars
MIA Lost: Everyone on Other’s Island, oh and the new cast members were also absent Veronica Mars: Mac, Parker, Piz Winner: Lost
Trickery Lost: Hurley and Charlie get Desmond drunk to find out how he knows the future without him knowing that’s is their plan Veronica Mars: Keith makes Ronnie breakfast to get her to come to office for work Winner: Veronica Mars
Broken Up Over a Break Up Lost: Desmond still is hung up on Penny years later Veronica Mars: Logan is still hung up on Vee days later Winner: Veronica Mars
Fooled You Lost: Mr. Widmore made Desmond think that he was going to offer him some whiskey only to insult him during his flashback/dream Veronica Mars: Dick led Logan to believe that his future wife had a sister that was basically a twin Winner: Lost
Form of Entertainment Lost: Soccer Football on the telly Veronica Mars: Mario Cart Winner: Veronica Mars
Leader Replaced Lost: With Jack away, Locke has taken a leadership role Veronica Mars: With Weevil on the straight and narrow, Arturo is the new leader of the PCH’ers Winner: Lost
Marriage Problems Lost: Without her father’s Desmond decides against proposing to Penny Veronica Mars: After seeing her toes, Dick regrets getting married Winner: Veronica Mars
Cliffhanger Lost: “Charlie… You’re going to die.” Veronica Mars: “Ms. Mars, you are under arrest for the aiding and abiding of the escape of Josh Berry. You have the right to remain silent…” Winner: Veronica Mars
On the Internet Lost: You can see the latest episode over at ABC.com or download Flashes Before Your Eyes over at iTunes Veronica Mars: You can see the latest episode at CWTV.com or download Postgame Mortem at iTunes
There is nothing I hate more than dream sequences which is what made the most recent episode of Lost so excruciatingly painful to watch, like season two painful. What makes dream sequences so bad is that I never know what I’m supposed to get out of them: is it the character’s subconscious, is it what the writers want you to see. And the episode added another layer making us wonder if the whole thing actually happened, did Desmond really relive everything. And if that was so, how could he save Charlie the second time, if the first time around he died, then Desmond wouldn’t know he would have drowned had he not died originally. And this was basically the whole episode, with nothing happening except some puzzle pieces in Desmond back-story were filled, none of which were that interesting. Oh but next week there will be three big mysteries solve, which using previous Lost math means we will get thirty more questions to ask afterwards.
Luckily we have Veronica Mars who rarely is fails to move the storyline along. And we even get, as far as I can remember, the very first two part-er mystery of the week. And poor Wallace, he finally makes a triumphant return, to the team and the show, only to have his coach killed. I am kind of glad he bit the dust because I always thought they should have filled the coach’s shoes with a more high profile name like Charles Barkley, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, although they may want to cross Tim Haraway’s name of the list of potential replacements. I‘m also wondering if this will possibly tie into the Dean’s death.
But the best part of the night belonged to the Logan-Dick storyline and the girl Dick met that was so hot that he said he had to wear oven mitts just to feel her up and promised Logan her sister who was practically a twin. Logan delivered the great deadpan, “which one is yours when it turned out the sister was eleven. But it was the little girl that had the best lines including, “Do you want me to put highlights in your hair?” “I’m starting to smell like you” and “Quit flirting with me old man, I’m eleven. Geez that’s creepy.” And let’s not forget about her requesting Nick Lachey for Logan and the scene in the elevators. Why are all the Veronica Mars scenes set in elevators instant classics? I’m really hoping that Dick’s divorce doesn’t go too smoothly and is a future mystery of the week as you remember when Dick asked Logan if he knew any good lawyer, he responded he knew a lawyer, which presumably would be Cliff, which would the divorce proceeding even more entertaining.
Yesterday was Valentines Day, or as some of us called it, Wednesday. And here is a lyrics quiz for those of you that didn’t do any celebrating yesterday. And let’s face it; the anti-love songs are much more entertaining than the lovey dovey ones anyways. So here are my favorite songs to put on when ever I’ve been wronged. No pansy Nick Lachey songs here folks, just pure vengeance ones (but in a moment of weakness I did dedicate What's Left of Me to an ex on the radio yesterday). As always leave your guesses in the comment section, both song title and artist. If you are correct, I will un-bold the lyric and give you credit. The person with the most correct lyrics will be added to the Winner’s list on my sidebar. Oh and a bonus point for the title of this quiz. Now on to the lyrics:
1. Give me my money back you (expletive deleted). I want my money back and don’t forget to give me back my black t-shirt. (Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five; guessed by Dara)
2. She was low down and trifling and she was cold and mean. Kind of evil make me want to grab my sub machine. (Delia's Gone - Johnny Cash; guessed by Kristi)
3. How can I put it, you put me on. I even fell for that stupid love song. (Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson; guessed by Dara)
4. It turns out he was a missing person that nobody missed at all. (Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks; guessed by Dara)
5. I’m going down to shoot my old lady; you know caught her messing ‘round with another man, and that ain’t too cool. (Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix Experience; guessed by Kristi)
6. You didn’t know all the ways I loved you. So you took a chance, made other plan. I bet you didn’t think they would come crashing down. No. (Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake; guessed by Dara)
7. You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else, you just can’t win. (Love Stinks - J. Geils Band; guessed by Kristi)
8. Packing up, shacking up is all you want to do. If I could maybe I’d give you my world, open up everything is waiting for you. (Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac; guessed by Dara)
9. Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with desire? Did you think I’d crumble; did you think I’d break down and cry? (I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor; guessed by Dara)
10. Maybe I should rob somebody so we could live like Whitney and Bobby. (Used To Love U - John legend; guessed by Ashley)
11. Carved my name into his leather seats. Took a Louisville Slugger to both head lights. (Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood; guessed by Angie)
12. I gave all my money and my time. I know it's a shame but I'm giving you back your name. Guess I'll be on my way. I won't be back to stay. (Sail On - The Commodores; guesed by Kristi)
13. I got all your love letter I through them all away. I hear you think that I’m crazy. I’m driving 95 and I’m driving you away. I shine a little more lately. (In the Rough - Anna Nalick; guessed by Jules)
14. So go ahead and get gone. Call up that chick and see if she’s home. Oops. I bet you though that I didn’t know. What do you think I was putting you out for? (Irreplaceable - Beyoncé; guessed by Arielle)
15. You don’t really want anymore from me to make things right you need someone to hold you tight. And you think love is to pray but I’m sorry I don’t pray that way. (Tainted Love - Soft Cell; guessed by Dara)
16. Whenever you see me you say that you want me back. And I tell you that it don’t mean jack. (Smile - Lily Allen; guessed by Dara)
17. Broken heart again, another lesson learned. Better know your friends or else you will get burned. Got to count on me cause I can guarantee that I’ll be fine. (No More Drama - Mary J. Blige; guessed by Monique)
18. I wonder how I bought all the lies. You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time. (Leave (Get Out) - JoJo; guessed by Angie)
19. You didn't know what Rock-n-Roll was until you met my drummer on a grey tour bus. (Once Bitten, Twice Shy - Great White; guessed by Dara)
20. You burn (expletive deleted), I heard the story. You played me; you even gave him (expletive deleted). Now you’re asking for me back, you’re just another hack. Look elsewhere cause you’re done with me. ((Expletive Deleted) It (I Don't Want You Back) - Eamon; guessed by Arielle)
21. I saw the surprise and the fear in his eyes when I took his glass of champagne, I toasted you, said, “Honey we may be threw but you’ll never hear me complain.” (Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks; guessed by Dara)
22. You’ve got your dumb friends. I know what they say, they tell you I’m difficult but so are they. But they don’t know me, do they even know you? (My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne; guessed by Dara)
23. I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue. (One More Minute - "Weird Al" Yankovic)
24. And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you but I'm not giving in this time. (Goodbye to You - Michelle Branch; guessed by Dara)
25. You're a loaded gun. There's nowhere to run. No one can save me the damage is done. (You Give Love a Bad Name - Bon Jovi; guessed by Dara)
Bonus. Seems I'm not alone at being alone. (Message in a Bottle - The Police; guessed by Dara)
Never, under any circumstance, shovel snow on Valentines Day or any day where Sting-type length of dirty, dirty sex sessions. And if must shovel snow for some reason on days like Valentines Day, definitely don’t volunteer to shovel your neighbor’s driveway even if they have been ordered not to do any manual labor and wouldn’t be able to leave the house if you weren’t nice enough to shovel his driveway. Don’t do it, there is important baby making duties to do on Valentines Day (even if babies aren’t the result you are looking for). Unfortunately I didn’t take my own advice and spend four hour today shoveling snow and am now almost too tired to watch the Beauty and the Geek Finale.
And for those of you south of the Mason-Dixon Line or west of the Rockies who are asking themselves, “What is this snow that Scooter is talking about?” I even have a Public Service Announcement for you too: If you need to lose some weight, move to the Snow Belt. I’ve lost ten pounds in the last two days with all the snow we gotten. Of course the most important part in the weight loss is that do not buy a snow blower. You see those lazy neighbors that have snow blowers and were done in ten minutes certainly didn’t even lose a pound over the last 48 hours.
Valentines Day wasn’t a complete waste though as Avril Lavigne was nice enough to send me a Valentines Day card. Okay so when I opened it up she said she doesn’t like my girlfriend (apparently this is the title of her upcoming single off her new album coming out in April). So in the last year I’ve gotten a Valentines Card from Avril Lavigne a Christmas gift from Katharine McPhee and a birthday card from Kristen Bell (to be technical I got a card from Kristen on my birthday). With St. Patrick Day in month, maybe Mandy Moore, who has an album coming out in May, will come out to have a green beer with me. On a side note, is it wrong for someone who is called a music elitist to be way too excited for a new Mandy Moore album?
In complete unrelated television site MeeVee is launching it’s new site tomorrow so be sure to check that out then. Well unless it’s already Thursday when you read this and you can check it out now. I have more information on it but I have a lot of television to sleep through tonight (Friday Night Lights, Beauty and the Geek, Let’s Rob Mick Jagger, Lost), so I may post that later tonight or tomorrow. Also be sure to stop by for Lyrics Quiz dedicated to all of you that didn’t celebrate a holiday today.
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