Tomorrow sees the unofficial start of the fall television season with the return of
Sons of Anarchy (
Survivor and
The Neighbors start next week and then almost everything else debuts the following week). So once again this year I am poising the five biggest (and five least interesting) questions going into the new season.
1.
How Will Dan Harmon Address His One Year Sabbatical on Community? In a bizarre twist,
Community creator and showrunner Dan Harmon was fired and then brought back a year later. Harmon has been vocal in his displeasure of the fourth season that went on without him so one would easily assume that the hugely pop-culture referencing show will take a page out of the Dallas playbook and make the entire last season a dream. I really do not see Harmon at all picking up where his predecessors left off. Another thing Harmon has to explain is the absence of Pierce and considering his hatred of Chevy Chase, it may be dealt a kin to when Isaac Hayes unceremoniously left
South Park.
2.
Will Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Live Up to the Hype? There is no more anticipated new show this fall than
S.H.E.I.L.D. and it has to do mostly because of the Marvel association. Sure it will be helmed by Joss Whedon who gave us
Buffy the Vampire Slayer but he may be more focused on
The Avengers 2 then the television show. Then there is the cast of unknowns, both actors and characters, none of which I am told are a part of the comic books aside from Agent Coulson who was last seen bleeding out. Colbie Smulders may make an appearance or two this season but How I Met Your Mother will stop any major arc. Sure that show is ending this season making Maria Hill available full time next season, but if the show does not come out of the gates like gangbusters there may not be a second season.
S.H.I.E.L.D. does go against last season most watched scripted show
N.C.I.S. and is launching ABC completely new Tuesday line up (it did luck out that NBC pushed
The Voice to 9:00 and only has to go against the aging
Biggest Loser and what looks to be a very vulnerable FOX comedy hour that also features two new shows including the much maligned
Dads). If the show does not get a second season, it may go down as the biggest flop on television ever.
3.
Will Once Upon a Time or Revenge Break Out of Their Sophomore Slumps? These two were the best two new network shows of 2011.
Revenge dropped off the bigger cliff with The Initiative storyline which managed to be complicated and boring at the same time. I do not recall Emily crossing one person off her list. Apparently someone at the network thought the same thing, gone for season three is the showrunner and Ashley will soon fallow. While on
Once Upon a Time, it became clear that the introduction of magic into Storybrooke just did not work. But unlike Revenge, the network is doubling down on the fairytale and launching
Once Upon a Time: Wonderland in its Thursday 8:00 deathslot in hopes for its first hit there since
Ugly Betty way back in 2006. (Since then there have been one and done seasons of
FlashForward,
The Deep End,
My Generation,
Take the Money and Run,
Charlie’s Angels,
Missing,
Duets,
Last Resort, and
Zero Hour).
4.
Will Miniseries Make a Comeback? NBC sure hopes for. They have been going with the spaghetti philosophy for a while throwing everything against the wall, putting Jay Leno on five nights a week, a three hour comedy block, not filming pilots, comedy four nights a week, launching shows off the Olympics, they even tried ripping off
Mad Men (R.I.P.
The Playboy Club). Yet
The Voice may be their only big success story since the start of the disastrous Ben Silverman era back in 2007. Now they are getting back into the mini-series business, a staple of the network television last century. This may be wise because many of their full “series” do not air more than four hours as it is or just get burned off on Saturdays. NBC made their first slash by acquiring the rights to the sequel to History’s blockbuster mini-series
The Bible (who knew there was a Bible sequel?). They made an even bigger splash by announcing a Hilary Clinton mini-series starring Diane Lane (who is way too attractive to play Hilary; she better get Charlize Theron’s make-up artist from
Monster) who naturally made FOX News talking head’s explode claiming it would be unfair advertising for her inevitable White House run two years later, and even angered MSNBC anchors who do not want to be inadvertently linked to a political movie. Of course NBC is probably courting the controversy because it will only drive up its ratings because liberals will watch hoping for a fluff piece while conservative will watch because they like complaining about stuff. NBC also announced they will be jumping on the Stephan King bandwagon (whose
Under the Dome adaptation is the most watched new summer series in decade) by airing a new
The Tommyknockers miniseries (which already happened in 1993) as well as a reboot of the move
Rosemary’s Baby and
Plymouth about the Pilgrim’s journey across the Atlantic and the difficulties of settling in a new country. No other network is currently getting into the mini-series game, but on cable FX has already announced a couple limited series including a new
Fargo show from the Coen Brothers starring Billy Bob Thornton.
5.
Will Masters of Sex Live up to My Expectations? It stars Lizzy Caplan, in a show called
Masters of Sex, all signs point towards yes.
As the great philosopher Butt-Head once pondered, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome,” so here are the five least anticipated questions of the new television season.
1.
When Will Ted Meet the Mother? I stopped caring who the mother was back in season two and even though we finally met the mother, I still do not care how Ted meets her. Making things worse, rumor has it that the whole season will take place over the course of Barney and Robin’s wedding day which means the meeting will not come until the end of the season. Ugg. At least this is the final season.
2.
Can Mixology Really Cram an Entire Season into One Night? The only thing worse that a full season taking place over one day is a full season taking place over one night. That is the hook for new show
Mixology which follows ten single twenty-something’s, most that do not know each other at the beginning of the night, as they try hooking up before last call. And you though
Work It would be ABC’s worst decision this decade. And yes I will be hate-watching all five episodes that air before it is mercifully canceled.
3.
Who Needed to See Colton on Survivor Ever Again? I rolled my eyes when he showed up on the spoiler list and now that it is official I have to wonder who needs more racist gay Republicans from Alabama on their television screens. Now there are players you love to hate, most notably the first season winner Richard Hatch, but Colton was a contestant you just hate and I cannot image anyone wanting to see them on their televisions again. But I have to give Colton some credit, to this day, whenever I am accused of being racist (or even anti-gay), my stock response is that I cannot be racist (or anti-gay) because I would push through a crowd of women to make out with Shamar Moore. That never gets old.
4.
Will The Voice Continue to Be the Blake Shelton Show? It has been reported that returning coach
Christina Aguilera joke during the filming of the season five Blind Auditions that she heard
The Voice turned into The Blake Shelton Show in her absence. Honey, I hate to break it to you, it always was The Blake Shelton Show and you were the least interesting and least competent judge on the show the first three seasons. I was fine with The Blake Shelton Show the first seasons when he cultivated diverse teams and pushed them to be better artists. But last season Blake went country or bust (which was a shame because
Caroline Glaser could have been his
Dia Frampton or
Cassadee Pope this past season), turning
The Voice into a
Nashville Star, and if the show goes hard on the single genre again (or any single genre), it will start getting
Nashville Star type ratings, which only lasted one season on NBC before getting canceled.
5.
Seriously, the CW still exists? Who knew? Wake me up when they turn the
Veronica Mars Movie into a weekly television series.
Enough with the questions, here are the shows I will be watching this fall and their premiere dates (new shows I will be giving a trial run in italics):
Mondays
8:00 – How I Met Your Mother (September 23)
8:00 – The Voice (September 23)
9:00 – 2 Broke Girls (September 23)
10:00 -
The Blacklist (September 23)
10:00 – Castle (September 23)
Tuesdays
8:00 –
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (September 24)
8:00 – The Voice (September 24)
10:00 – Sons of Anarchy (September 10)
Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor: Blood vs. Water (September 18)
8:00 – The Middle (September 25)
8:30 –
Back in the Game (September 25)
9:00 – Modern Family (September 25)
9:30 –
Super Fun Night (October 2)
10:00 – Nashville (September 25)
Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (September 26)
8:00 –
Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (October 10)
8:30 –
The Millers (September 26)
9:30 –
The Michael J. Fox Show (one hour premiere starting at 9:00 on September 26)
10:00 – Parenthood (September 26)
Fridays
8:00 – Last Man Standing (September 20)
8:30 – The Neighbors (September 20)
9:00 – Grimm (October 25)
Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (September 29)
9:00 - Homeland (September 29)
9:00 – Revenge (September 29)
10:00 –
Masters of Sex (September 29)
10:00 –
Betrayal (September 29)