If You Feel Just like a Tourist in the City You Were Born Then it’s Time to Go

When John Mayer released his last album I panned it because nobody wants to hear a concept album about dating Jennifer Aniston. And a first listen to the new Death Cab for Cutie album Codes and Keys, one could make an argument about Zooey Deshanel, the quirky actress that lead singer Benjamin Gibbard married since the release of their last album Narrow Stairs. Gone are the stalkery songs and tales of woe which are replaced by positive songs and grand views of the future.

First single You Are a Tourist could very well be about Gibbard’s feelings about his previous moodier songs and may be the “villain in the story you have written.” And for a guy who made a song about a Twin Size Bed sound so depressing he turned around in short time to make a real peppy song about a different inanimate object on Portable Television. While Stay Young, Go Dancing is their most upbeat and hopeful song to date by far.

Lyrics are not the only drastic change for Codes and Keys as the band when for a decidable less guitar-based sound for the new album(save riff-tastic You Are a Tourist). With more focus on piano, keyboards, and drum beats, this album has a more electronic feel (though not as electronic as Gibbard’s side project The Postal Service) but still manages the warmth that some electronic acts lack. The only song missing the wall of sound of the rest of the album is Stay Young, Go Dancing which ends the album with an acoustic guitar and well placed strings.

But is hard to wonder if this would have been a better album if Ben never met Zooey. Here is hoping Ryan Adams’s eventual concept album about Mandy Moore bucks this trend.

Song to Download – Stay Young, Go Dancing

Codes and Keys gets a on my Terror Alert Scale. Note the $5.00 price in the Amazon widget below which is what the album will be priced at all this month.

When I Was Young I Didn’t Think About it and Now I Just Can’t Get it off My Mind

The good people over at Simon and Schuster were nice enough to send me over a copy of So Much to Say: Dave Matthews Band 20 Years on the Road (look for my review next week to coincide with the book hitting bookshelves) and in honor of the book’s release, this month’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame is the band’s unreleased gem known as The Lillywhite Session.

Naturally So Much to Say dedicated a whole chapter to the time period. As legend has it, the Dave Matthews Band went into the studio with longtime producer Steve Lillywhite and recorded a batch of songs only to ditch them to go back on the road. When the tour was over, instead going back to the Lillywhite songs, Dave hooked up with Alanis Morrisette producer Glen Ballard for an album of much tighter and poppier songs the band had ever done called Everyday. Months after the released, songs from The Lillywhite Session hit file sharing site where anyone could hear the album that might have been.

Mortality has never been a shy subject for the band, but Before these Crowded Streets took a decidedly darker turn from their previous work and The Lillywhitte Session took them deeper into the rabbit hole with songs like Grey Street, Digging a Ditch, Big Eyed Fish and maybe their saddest song to date Grace Is Gone. The latter of which Dave himself references to as the sad bastard song and still is in my repertoire of songs I go to when I am in my drunken sad bastard mood.

The standout track of The Lillywhite Session, and quick live performance staple, was Bartender. If there is one thing the band does best is sweeping epics that they can jam on for over ten minutes such as Warehouse and Two Step, and Bartender is where it all came together in a sweeping ode to a priest stand in that serves beer on the side. By the time the track hits the midway point, Mathews is wailing vocally like a one man choir before giving way to LeRoi Moore, one of his finest moments in the studio, who take the song home before ending it with a sweet pennywhistle.

The songs of The Lillywhite Session would later be revived a year later as the band convened in the studio but without Steve Lillywhite this time around for the proper release the appropriately titled Busted Stuff which despite sharing nine songs sounded lighter and more hopeful in spirit (thanks in part to new songs Where Are You Going and You Never Know). Grace Is Gone got turned into full country bar tune, a couple minutes were shaved from Bartender, Kit Kat Jam was stripped of lyrics, and JTR, Sweet Up and Down, and Monkey Man were cut from the final version. Though Dave Matthews Band songs are never fully realized until they are road tested for an entire summer, the release of Busted Stuff must have been cathartic to the band and fans alike after the tumultuous two years from the start of The Lillywhite Session to the release of Everyday, to the leak of the unfinished tracks.

Previewing Franklin & Bash

One could argue that you can judge a lawyer show by its cases and in the first season of Franklin and Bash the lawyers will take up cases like death by vagina (the defendant in question being Justified’s Natalie Zea which begs the question who would be against that kind of death?), a woman who thinks she was fired from a men’s magazine for being too attractive (despite barely being a five), a Robin Hood in the form of Jason Alexander (Listen Up) who has a change of heart when his terminal diagnosis turns out to be not as terminal as he thought), and Bash’s ex-girlfriend’s current fiancée asking him to get him off on a solicitation charge (yes, woman twenty-five to forty, Zack Morris will go head to head Dawson Leery, start rummaging for your old Tiger Beat issues now).

And what better way to start a series that a scantily clad guest star Mircea Monroe (Nobody’s Watching) trying to sell you mattresses on a video billboard (do not worry ladies, Zack Morris shows much more skin than Mircea later in the episode). Naturally a car accident happens and Franklin and Bash were staking out the intersection for just an occasion. Breckin Meyer (Road Trip) is the quick witted Franklin while Zack (Dead Man on Campus) plays the suave Bash.

Their ability to win unorthodox cases catches the eye of Malcolm McDowell (Easy A), the senior partner at a big law firm that brings the duo in and gives them free reign to continue taking on their typical cases. And since every man child needs a straight laced antagonist, Franklin and Bash has McDowell’s nephew at the firm, Reed Diamond (Journeyman) who just so happened to have dated Garcelle Beauvais (Wild Wild West) who Franklin just so happens to also have eyes for.

Along for the ride are Franklin and Bash’s associates from their pre-big time days are Dana Davis (Prom Night) as the duo’s paralegal slash private investigator and Kumail Najiani (Michael and Michael Have Issues), their researcher and writer who has come down with a case of agoraphobia and never leaves Franklin and Bash’s apartment which used to serve as their law office until their upward mobility.

Neither of the two characters really add much to the story while Diamond and Beauvais seemed as if they were written straight from the stereotype character handbook and McDowell is not always convincing as the aloof boss while Meyer and Morris do not have the strongest comic rapport, and some the writing is not that clever (the resolve of the Natalie Zea case is practically slap your head stupid) yet there is plenty to laugh at, as this was originally developed for TNT’s less serious sister station TBS. Maybe because it is summer and bar is considerably lower in terms of quality, Franklin and Bas is a good summer escape.

Aside from the previous mentioned, there is a slew of notable guest stars stopping by the law offices the first season and TNT’s press releases hypes the appearances of Fred Ward, L.A. Law’s Harry Hamlin, Tom Arnold, Beau Bridges, Tommy Chong, Kathy Najimy, and Trisha Helfer. What the press release does not tell you is the show will also be graced by Tomas F. Wilson. Yes, Biff Fracking Tannen. And since he is playing McDowell’s spiritual adviser, here’s hoping he will be making more stops by the show.

Franklin and Bash airs Wednesdays at 9:00 on TNT. You can stream episodes after they air on TNT.tv. You can also download Franklin and Bash on iTunes. Fallowing the show will be the remaining episodes of season two of Men of a Certain Age (see my preview here).

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/28/11

Quote of the Week: Real men don't lift weights. Real men fender bench. (Billy Riggins, Friday Night Lights)

Song of the Week: Sort of Revolution – Fink (Friday Night Lights)

Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Jeff Conaway: It is a shame that the lasting image we will ever have of Jeff Conaway is him in the wheelchair stammering around Celebrity Rehab and not as the immortal Kenickie. As the late great Rick James would say, “Cocaine is a hell of a drug” and Conaway joins James on the list of why you should not abuse it.


The Killing: Early in the season I assumed we were going to get a new suspect a week and move on to a new one. But focusing on the teacher as the prime suspect for five straight episodes only to clear him as a do-gooder really hurt the show creatively. If the killer ends up not connected to the Muslim church it will diminish the season on a whole. That is almost half the season on a false lead. You can download The Killing on iTunes.

Modern Family: Though not as good as the Community clip show, Modern Family came up with a clever way to look back at the season. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Friday Night Lights: Holy Jason Street sighting! But where was the JD McCoy sighting? Did he and papa (and the coach) hightail it out of town after the loss last year? But this episode was restraint of lack thereof. I am surpised that Tami did not just start whaling on the TA when she realized who it was. And I do not remember a time in the series when we have seen Coach Taylor as mad as he was when yelling at Vince after the game. I will be shocked if Vince does not get benched for at least a quarter in the next game for the stunt he pulled. And the Luke / Billy sitcom continues to bring the balance to the show with a bunch of laugh out loud moments. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Free Download of the Week: Sad Song – The Cars (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Blu-Rays under $10 (Office Space, Major League, Blazing Saddles)

New Album Release of the Week: Codes And Keys - Death Cab for Cutie

New DVD Release of the Week: Drive Angry

Video of the Week: Despite the holiday weekend, there will still be a new Game of Thrones Sunday at its usual time at 10:00 on HBO. Here is a preview of You Win or You Die.



Next Week Pick of the Week: Franklin and Bash. Wednesday at 9:00 on TNT: The unofficial start of summer is Monday and that means the summer television schedule starts up this week. Network is shoveling its usual unwatchable reality shows (seriously, Love in the Wild?!?) and scripted leftovers. Cable is also getting things started soon with returning favorites and a few newbies including the quirky lawyer show which TNT fleeced from its sister comedy station TBS. Look for my full review of the show next week.

Around the Tubes - 1/14/11

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Curb Your Enthusiasm, Switched at Birth, Love Bites, Fox Movie Channel, The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Indy 500, and True Blood.

- Curb Your Enthusiasm is returning to HBO July 10 at 10:00 and here is the first trailer for its eighth season:



- In honor of their new show, ABC Family will be launching the Switched at Birth: Hunt for the Code, an online scavenger hunt game starting next Tuesday. To enter the game for a chance to win $4,000 and full rules, head over to ABCFamily.com.

- Love Bite was originally on the fall schedule but got pulled when one of the stars got pregnant, and now the show will now air during the not so plum summer slot of Thursdays at 10:00. No word yet if Friends with Benefits will ever see the light of day, but if Perfect Couples and the Paul Riser Show both made it to air first it is not a good sign. But anyway. Below is a featurette for Love Bites.

Love Bites Featurette


- Sci-Fi fans will want to check out The Fox Movie Channel Twitter Sweepstakes to win 14 films including Alien and Independence Day. All you have to do is follow them on twitter @FoxMovieChannel then go to the sweepstakes page at foxmoviechannel.com.

- I just looked at the extended forecast and currently it is set to hit the nineties here in Northeast Ohio on Memorial Day and if you need to escape the heat this holiday, HDNet will be airing Jim Henson’s classic films The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth digitally remastered starting at 8:00. This will be the first time this millennium the films will air on television.

- This year would have been Ronald Reagan’s 100th birthday and in honor of the occasion Dan Wheldon will drive the Bryan Herta Autosport / Curb Agajanian #98 car with the Ronald Reagan Centennial Celebration seal on the nose for this Sunday’s Indy 500.

- The new season of True Blood is right around the corner but if you are still going through withdrawal, check out the poster below which will point you to the new website: TBwithdrawal.

Previewing Men of a Certain Age: Second Half of the Second Season

If the first season of Men of a Certain Age was discovering your flaws and the start of the second season was correcting those flaws, the last half of the season, starting Wednesday June 1, is about regression. Two thirds of the cast are back to old habits before the end of the second episode back. Needless to say the regressions do not end well with one turning violent while the other leads to one of the funnier moment in the show.

In fact the third episode back (airing June 15) may be the most entertaining episode of the show to date thanks to two scenes that will make you laugh so hard you may have to rewind the episode you were laughing so hard. One bit with Owen and a catcher during an office softball game hit very close to home for me because I had the exact same situation. As for the other titular men, it seems both Terry and Joe run into every past flame they have during the run of the show in these last six episodes that close out the season.

When the show returns Wednesday, Joe is spending extra time with his former bookie who is about to undergo chemo. Terry seems to be at a crossroads in his relationship with Erin. And Owen gets an indecent proposal from a rival dealership but it would be too spoilery if I told if he ends up rolling in a bed of money sometime this season.

Men of a Certain Age airs Wednesdays at 10:00 on TNT. You can stream recent episodes on TNT.tv. You can download Men of a Certain Age on iTunes.

I Want My Music Television - 5/25/11

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I thought I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.

The Story of Us – Taylor Swift



One of the fun games to play whenever Taylor Swift releases a new album is guessing who the songs are about. Joe Jonas was the rumored target of The Story of Us and I wonder if the ironic thick black glasses on the dude in the video all but confirms it because Joe has been seen wearing a similar pair lately. And the preverbal other woman does kind of resembled Camilla Belle, the rumored subject of Better than Revenge. I am really too old to have written this paragraph.


When I’m Alone - Lissie



It is a shame we did not get more scenes in the bingo parlor. But is still another great song from Lissie.


Carousel - Vanessa Carlton



It look like Vanessa Carlton’s transformation into Stevie is almost complete, just a dye job and a voice drop to be complete.


Sister Wife - Alex Winston



Sometime all it takes for me to check out a new video is its name. Such is the case with Sister Wife from newcomer Alex Winston where I wondered if the song was actually about polygamy and it turns out the answer is a resounding yes. And the video is so absurd I just had to keep on watching.

He’s Going to Tell Them About... Eh, Nevermind

There was a lot of chatter after the abysmal Lost finale that people were going to swear off network sci-fi shows indefinitely. But I am a glutton and went ahead and signed up four months after the Lost letdown for The Event (and No Ordinary Family, and The Cape). One byproduct of the travesty of the Lost finale is that I would no longer let a heavily serialize show give me false of being a grand, transformative television show.

Say what you will about The Event, it did aim high, throwing an alien invasion, government cover up, and a love story complete with plenty of time jumping that put Lost’s flashbacks to shame, for better or worse. But the time jumping faded away quickly for a more linear approach which is a shame because when done right (most notably the first season Lost and least notably the last season of Lost) it can bring about great character exploration, and when dealing with characters that seem not to age The Event could have benefited from sticking with it. Of course the time shifting could have answered long lingering questions that I no longer care about to brainstorm.

The shift in the timelines was not the only thing that changed as the show went along as I am pretty sure what the event as presented in the title changed in the writers’ minds a couple time. Silly me wrongfully said in my Preview of The Event series premiere that the event happened within the first hour. By the second episode I realized what I thought was the event was not actually The Event. Then when the show returned from a four month hiatus, the promo monkeys all but confirmed that the extinction of the human race was The Event. But in the finale, Simon clearly stated that The Event was, um, something that I am not sure I can explain without re-watching it a couple times. But he did definitely said The Event.

You have to take writers at their words when they say they have their series mapped out with benchmarks they want to hit but the problems with most sci-fi shows that have failed miserably in the Lost era and beyond is those benchmarks are clearly too far apparent. Then there are too many episode in-between where you just yell at your television screen, “Just get there!” Certainly the closing scenes of the season were visually stunning with an entire planet entering out orbit, but by the point it happened very few people were around to care. Had this happened in, say, the sixth episode instead of the twenty-second, you would have a much compelling story. Instead it took six episodes just to get Sophia to escape Inostranka.

And since the writers took too long to make anything interesting happen, we will not get a second season where there was going to be a lizard baby born to Layla and Sean. C’mon, you knew that storyline was coming from miles away, long before she broke the news to the father. But at least the serioes did not last long enough where all the characters met up in a church in purgatory.

The Event gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

Feed Your iPod vol. LXI: I Will Follow You into the Dark

Death Cab for Cutie is known for soaring melodies and lush arrangements, but one of their best is the stripped down I Will Follow You into the Dark. But with a song that is about a love so strong they would accompany them into the afterworld, an acoustic guitar is really all you need. Hopefully Codes and Keys, out next week, is filled with songs this good.

I Will Follow You into the Dark – Death Cab for Cutie

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/22/11

How I Met Your Mother: Whatever happened to Ted’s friend from Ohio that was getting married? I always assumed that was the wedding that was hyped to be the wedding Ted met the mother was that one (best laugh of the episode, if not the season was when Future Ted said that the chick that got the flowers was the mom). I really have no desire to see a married Barney, but I have a feeling he will not be getting married at that wedding as it will be to the British chick but will realize he loves Robin so he does not go through with it. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Event: We actually got two pieces to the puzzle from the beginning of the series, but it was a little too late as the show will be not back next season. But we did learn that Sophia’s people “were here first” and the token hot chick was former CIA that went rogue. And I guess we can assume that the parchment Sean has is actually from when Sophia’s people where here originally. I wonder what, if anything we will learn from next week’s series finale. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Event on iTunes.

Castle: Early in the episode when the group was talking about a possible third dirty cop, Captain Montgomery gave a look that gave me pause, thinking he was it. I actually talked myself out of that being the case until the big reveal. But I do not understand why they killed the other two cops, but not Montgomery. I wish they would do more than two of these Beckett’s mother episodes a season because it is sometimes hard to remember what is going on. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Modern Family: Does anyone actually have Middle School graduations or is that just something that happens on television? If so I feel cheated because I did not have a graduation from middle school or grade school. I did learn I have a little Pritchett in me because I laughed hysterically at Cameron for both of his pratfalls. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



The Big Bang Theory: Ever since the first season I have assumed that the writers will have run out of ideas the episode where they get Sheldon drunk and hooks up with Penny. Never did I ever think she would get drunk and hook up with Raj. This very well may have been a jump the shark moment. You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.

Friday Night Lights: Those Julie scenes were really hard to watch this week (sans when Buddy tried to hook her up with Buddy Jr.) and I just weep for her even if she brought all of this on herself. I also fear that the Vince / daddy situation with the gang banger is going to end in blood before all is said and done. But I do like where the Luke / Billy (great speech this week) is going. Only in Texas do they have toilets in their back yards and practice their chipping with charcoal. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Also check out my season reviews of Survivor: Redemption Island and Chuck.

Best of the Week - 5/21/11

Quote of the Week: Wack ‘em if they ever got out of line. That’s smart; Reagan smart. (Casey, Chuck)

Song of the Week: Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice (as sung by Raj, The Big Bang Theory)

Big News of the Week: Networks Unveil their Schedules: I talked about the five shows I most want to see and what I will be watching next fall. Here some other thoughts on the schedules of the big four (and The CW). Click on the title to be taken to a promo of the show.

The Sing-Off (Mondays at 8:00 on NBC): I am glad NBC took my advice and made The Sing-Off a weekly show, but two hours seems a little cumbersome (I know NBC is in trouble, but why are all their reality shows an unnecessarily two hours long?). At least the show should up it’s credibly now that the Pussycat Doll is not available as a judge. Since there are down a judge, may I suggest Sara Bareilles.

Last Man Standing (Tuesdays at 8:00 on ABC): So Loretta McCready goes from the best show on television to this? I put the over / under on the number of episode it takes before she called up Raylan Gibbons looking to be rescued by him at three.

Ringer (Tuesdays at 9:00 on The CW): There is a lot of talk of Sarah Michelle Gellar returning to get WB roots but let’s face it she is a horrible actress and unless her words are written by Joss Whedon, she is unwatchable. And if The CW was taking other network’s leftover’s, why did they not take NBC’s Wonder Woman to replace the departing Smallville?

Revenge (Wednesdays at 10:00 on ABC): There seems to be a lot of new shows that made me go, that would make for a good idea for a movie, but I do not see how they stretch it into a television show. Revenge tops that list. Sure Amy Abbott may get me to tune in, but where exactly does the show go after she exact her revenge.

H8R (Wednesdays at 8:00 on The CW): In this year’s installment of “Seriously, they canceled Veronica Mars for this crap” goes to H8R where “celebrities” confront people who talk smack about them on the internet. No word on when my episode where I get ambushed by The CW executives for hating on H8R airs.

And my prediction of first show canceled goes to I Hate My Teenage Daughter.

Bonus Big News of the Week: The ten year old version of myself would be remised if I didn’t wish a melancholy happy trails to the Macho Man Randy Savage who suffered a heart attack while driving yesterday.

Gratuitous Token Hot Chick Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: Don't Give Up On Me Now – Ben Harper (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Over 1,500 Albums $5 Each Through May: Only one more week to get these albums for $5. Here are some Greatest Hits selections worth picking up from The Steve Miller Band, John Mellencamp, The Temptations, and David Gray.



New Album Release of the Week: Torches - Foster the People

New DVD Release of the Week: Gettysburg: Director's Cut (Blu-ray Book Packaging)

Video of the Week: Too Big to Fail is not the only HBO debuting next week. How to Die in Oregon will air Thursday (5/26) at 8:00. The documentary looks at the controversial Death with Dignity Act, which legalizes physician aid-in-dying for some terminally ill patients. Below is a promo:



Next Week Pick of the Week: The Event, Monday at 9:00 on NBC: Poor The Event, it was probably doomed from the start. I guess when you name your show The Event, it is probably a good idea to clue the audience in on what The Event is in the first episode. I did not even realize what The Event was until NBC started airing ads for the midseason premiere, granted I am not entirely sure if the potential extermination of the human race actually is The Event named in the title. Oh well. After the series finale, NBC can bring on the Playboy Bunnies.

Around the Tubes - 5/20/11

I have gotten a plethora of cool press releases have been flooding my inbox recently that you may find interesting. This post will include blurbs on Too Big to Fail, When Aliens Attack, Area 51 Declassified, The Sing-Off, Rescue Me, Johnny Carson, and TBS and TNT Upfront news.

- Remember how the taxpayers had to shell out billions of money to banks because they were Too Big to Fail, well three years later they are now even more bigger to fail. HBO takes a look at the banking crisis with Too Big to Fail based on the Andrew Ross Sorkin book of the same name and features Oscar-winner William Hurt. seven-time Emmy-winner Edward Asner, Billy Crudup, Emmy-winner Paul Giamatti, Topher Grace, Matthew Modine, two-time Emmy-winner Cynthia Nixon, Michael O’Keefe, Bill Pullman, three-time Emmy-winner Tony Shalhoub and two-time Emmy-winner James Woods. Too Big to Fail airs this Monday at 9:00, check out a promo below:



- Just in time for the anticipated TNT series Falling Skies next month, the National Graphic Channel is premiering When Aliens Attack this Sunday at 8:00 which shows via CGI what would realistically happen if we were really invaded by aliens. Check out a clip below. Then at 10:00, the channel will stick with the alien theme with Area 51 Declassified which interviews more than 50 scientists, pilots and engineers.

Most Powerful Gun in the World


- The Sing-Off is airing earlier this year from its previous pre-Christmas slot, but do not worry, you still have time to grab your friends from the barbershop and tryout for this Fall’s season by going to singoffcasting.com.

- Rescue Me is returning for its final season Tuesday July 12, here is a promo:

Fade Away


- Fans of Johnny Carson will want to head over to MemoryLane.com which just added an exclusive collection of skits and monologues from his tenure on the Tonight Show. And if that enough classic videos for you, the site also recently added 1,001 classic television commercials

- In the midst of the network Upfronts, TNT and TBS had their own this week. Some highlights include Mary McDonnell getting her own The Closer spin-off entitled Major Crimes after The Closer finishes up its last twenty-one episodes this and next summer.

TNT is launching The TNT Tuesday Night Mystery featuring original movies set to debut in November; six are currently set to air.

Brian Austin Green and Harold Perrineau are teaming up for The Wedding Band about, wel, the title pretty much sums it up. Look for it to premiere summer 2012.

Also ordered foe 2012 is Perception starring Eric McCormack as a neuroscientist who works on criminal cases.

While over at TBS, recently acquisition Conan O’Brien has two series currently in development for the network while sidekick Andy Richter is developing a modern day take on The $10,000 Pyramid.

The Five Most Anticipated Shows of Fall 2011

Looking at their list of new shows you have to wonder if NBC and ABC did a bit of spying on each other, they both have fairytale based shows and shows about iconic hot chicks of the fifties (there was almost a third of seventies retreat starring Friday Night Lights Alums but the Peacock decided not to pick up Wonder Woman). But only one of each nabbed a spot on my most anticipated shows for next fall.

1. Once Upon a Time (Sundays at 8:00 on ABC) – When I first saw the description for this I was hoping for something whimsical like Pushing Daisies and after seeing the promo I was a bit disappointed with the visuals in the fairytale world but the show still tops the list of shows I most want to see. Plus it will be nice to see Diane Snyder back on free television.



2. The Playboy Club (Mondays at 10:00 on NBC) – Sure it will be easy to call this a Mad Men rip off, Eddie Cibrian certainly gives off that Don Draper douchebag vibe, but I am intrigued by the murder subplot in the promo. And seeing Amber Heard in a Bunny outfit every week does not hurt at all.



3. Two Broke Girls (Mondays at 8:30 on CBS) – Whitney Cummings is executive producing two new shows this fall and she probably choose the wrong one to star in. Whitney looks like a bland retread while 2 Broke Girls is a better bet and looks to be greater than 2 and a Half Men (at least in quality). Really nobody does snark better than Kat Dennings. Hopefully the chick not named Kat Dennings finds her comic timing because she looks a little too ridged in the promo. Though not in the promo below, bonus points for casting Garrett Morris in the role of Mel Sharples.



4. Free Agents (Wednesdays at 8:30 on NBC) – Here is something that really was not on my radar until I watched the trailer, who new Rupert Giles could deliver a punch line?



5. Apartment 23 (Midseason likely during Dancing with Has Been’s and Nobody’s hiatus) – Ever since seeing her go head to head with Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, I thought Dreama Walker had star potential and she is finally getting a starring role on television and looks primed to breakout. And Krysten Ritter is the perfect evil foil. It should make for a great pilot, but I am not entirely sure how they stretch it into a series. And I am not sure how James van der Beek as James van der Beek plays into this all. In the clip that ABC show they reference Paula Cole and a whip cream bikini, isn’t that his whole career? Where do you go from there?



Honorable Mention. Work It (Midseason-ish): I would have put this at number one but let’s face it, this will not air for very long, if at all. But for the three episodes that air I will enjoy it. It has been too long since Bosom Buddies has left the air.



There were some notable changes in network schedules next season, after trying to launch a three hour comedy block, NBC and ABC went back to two hours their signature nights and launch another hour block on Wednesday and Tuesday respectively. As I predicted, Chuck gets shuttled off to the Friday death slot (paired with the other fairytale show Grimm which looks like it may be this years The Cape). But the more surprising move is for the first time in recent memory; a network is airing new scripted programming on Saturdays. Granted it is only for a half hour and it is Rules of Engagement for CBS. But it should be interesting how it does and if any other network follows. Here is what I will be watching next fall:

Mondays
8:00 – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
8:00 – The Sing Off (NBC)
8:30 – Two Broke Girls (CBS)
10:00 – Playboy (NBC)
10:00 – Castle (ABC)

Tuesdays
10:00 Parenthood (NBC)

Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor (CBS)
8:30 – Free Agents (NBC)
9:00 – Modern Family (ABC)
9:30 – Happy Endings (ABC)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
8:00 – Community (NBC)

Fridays
8:00 – Chuck (NBC)

Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (ABC)

Midseason
Awake (NBC)
Work It (ABC)
Apartment 23 (ABC)

The Mirror Is a Trigger and Your Mouth’s a Gun

Danger Mouse has an amazing track record making experimental pop music. He arguably brought mash-ups to the masses with The Grey Album (which landed in at number six on my list of The 100 Greatest Albums of the 00’s). Went on to produce music ranging from Gorillaz to The Black Keys. Then teamed up with Cee Lo Green to create the Greatest Song of the 00’s and most recently released an album with James Mercer of the Shins.

His latest work may be his most ambitious. Rome is a collaboration with Italian composer Daniele Luppi, with vocals contributed by Jack White and Norah Jones which is inspired by music from spaghetti westerns. If sounding like the soundtrack to a spaghetti western was their goal, the certainly achieved it with haunting strings and choral arrangements seen through the spectrum of Danger Mouse’s weird pop sensibilities. But therein lies the problem with Rome: it sounds like a movie score and movie scores really only work with the accompanying visuals of the movie. The instrumentals by themselves are a bit of a bore.


The album is salvaged by the vocals with Jack White and Norah Jones getting three songs each and bother were an inspired choice. There is no other voice you can imagine than White’s on Two Against One where Jack brings a much needed bravado to the song. You can just picture him in a cowboy hat singing the song to an old-time mirror in an actual western.

But Jones is the standout as she goes into full cabaret mode for Season’s Tree and Black getting sultrier than of the songs off her albums to the point you will hope that she makes a full record featuring this persona she created for Rome. Yet mostly after listening to Rome, you will wish that Danger Mouse and Daniele Luppi had released an accompanying short film because most of the album is just missing something that will make you listen to it multiple times.

Songs to Download – Black

Rome gets a on my Terror Alert Score.

Russians, So Many Russians

The winds of change were blowing this season on Chuck. Sarah and Chuck got engaged, Casey and Chuck (re)connected with long lost family members, Ellie and Awesome had a kid, even Buy More got a CIA make over after getting destroyed last season. But the more things change, the more things stay the same as the Buymorons Jeffster stay unevolved (and that is a good thing as they performed Push It while Ellie was delivering her kid).

This season though belonged to one man: Timothy Dalton as this year’s big bad, a CIA handler turned arms dealer turned English scientist. He commanded every scene he was in with vigor which was a grand contrast to last year with Superman’s boringness (and this year’s Sarah Conner blandness). Superman aside, this was really the first real singular big bad after Chuck and his team battled institutions like Fulcrum and The Ring. There has never been anyone on television that could effortless switch between menacing and humorous like he did this season most notably during the Thanksgiving episode.

The season built up to one last battle between Chuck and the family Volcoff after Vivian poisoned Sarah at their rehearsal dinner. And the episode delivered as Chuck went on a search for an antidote against the wishes of the wishes of the dude from Desperate Housewives (I geeked out when originally I thought it was Lost’s Man in Black who popped up on the screen until realized my eyes deceived me), one of the few men who strikes fear into Casey.

The episodes had so many chill moments that seem to have been missing since the second season including when the Russian army dropped in on at the hospital. Although the actual wedding was a bit disappointing in its subtleness compared the Jeffster infused nuptials of Awesome and Ellie. They could at least have performed at the reception. Oh well.

But all that good will was lost with the cliffhanger (silly me thought the title Chuck vs. the Cliffhanger was going to be homage to the Sylvester Stallone film). Sure Team Bartowski going rouge was telegraphed when Chuck gave his secret identities to Vivian and that should lead to some freshness next season (though how they will get cases is yet to be seen, but if The A-Team could find clients it should not be too hard or maybe General Beckman will be looking for work, and I assume the C.A.T. Squad may be out of jobs too). But what disappointed me was Morgan downloading the Intercet. I always hope for less screen time for Morgan and this probably means more screen time next season. I am already dreading it. Why couldn’t it been a member of Jeffster to find the glasses?

Chuck 4.x gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

I Guess You Forgot My Title: Undercover Specialist

I’m a purist at pretty much everything, I hate the designated hitter, David Lee Roth is the only lead singer of Van Halen. So when Survivor announced not one, but two twists for this season I cannot say I was thrilled. Make things worse is not only was one of the twists bringing back two past contestants, they were two of my least favorite of all time, Russell Hantz and “Boston” Rob Mariano. But surprisingly Redemption Island started out watchable enough with entertaining contestants such as Federal Agent (!) Philip Sheppard, Chewbacca impersonator Ralph Kiser, and two of the more attractive contestants in the history of the game, Andrea Boehlke and Natalie Tenerelli.

But then the Zapatera tribe had to go and anger the Survivor Gods and threw a challenge just to get Russell out after taking a quick 9-7 tribe advantage. But after quitting at a challenge they only one more after that, seeing their torches get stuffed eight straight times (if you do not count Matt getting his snuffed for the second time). This let Boston Rob and Manson Family style disciples to take hold on the game and made his reign the most boring stretch of episodes on any season of Survivor.

As for the other twist, Redemption Island also turned out to be an epic fail. Matt Elrod reenters the game and promptly gets voted out. Andrea reenters the game and promptly gets voted out. Redemption Island was an interesting concept, but the problem with introducing it into a game like Survivor where you almost always go with the easiest vote at tribal council and there is no easier vote than the person you already voted out.

In the end, a guy who played four times, half the time could not even make it to the jury, was the easy winner because he was saddled with the dumbest tribemates ever, lucked out that the other tribe was stupid enough to throw a challenge, and somehow competed in the season where all the immunity challenges had puzzles, even the last one which is always an endurance challenge (yes I am suggesting that Survivor helped Rob win). But congratulations to Rob, you won the most boring season ever. You join Barry Bonds as the least worthy person in the record books. Hopefully Survivor looked at the ratings, their lowest ever and never invites Rob back again. Also do not bring back Russell (which I was surprised Jeff flirted at considering it was revealed Russell leaked the outcome of his seasons. They should be suing him, not bringing him back).

But Rob is not the biggest problem with Survivor these days, after two of the three worst seasons back to back, the biggest problem with the show is casting. Seriously whoever did the casting these past seasons need to be fired quick. How does someone like Natalie get through the casting process? She got less screen time this season than the first person voted out this season and we saw why at the final tribal council when she could barely form complete sentences. Sure she is moderately attractive, but surely you can find token hot chicks that actually play a competent game much like former winners Parvati and Jenna. I would rather see a season full of Shambo’s than one full of Natalie’s.

Even though both twists were massive fails, Survivor is bringing them both back for next season. After twenty-two season, I may be out. I will give next season one episode but it is hard to think I could sit through another season like the last two. Maybe if the two they bring back are Coach and Philip for a showdown of the crazy people, which will up the comedy for the first three episodes, because I do not see either lasting longer than that unless they go on a Matt style Redemption run.

Survivor: Redemption Island gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

P.S. Is Vegas taking bets on how long the engagement of David Murphy and Carolina Eastwood will last because I would like to take the under. She definately wanted to say no.

Lyrics Quiz: As Seen on TV 2011

As we wind down the television season, I am going to run down the best music placement of the past twelve months and as an added twist, I am going to do it in Lyrics Quiz form so you have to guess to see the actual list. As usual, place your guesses in the comment (or e-mail me), both artist and song title, and if you are correct I will un-bold the lyric. You can also get a bonus point is you correctly guess which show the song was featured on and double bonus points if you correctly guess the character how sang the song on the show if it was not performed by the original artist (you can steal the bonus point if and only if someone correctly guesses the lyrics).


1. Now I’m looking at a flashback Sunday, zoom lens feelings just won’t disappear. Close-up darkroom sweet talk in my ear.
2. Now every time I go for the mailbox I gotta hold myself down cause I just can’t wait ‘til you write me you’re coming around.
3. A little bit softer now. A little bit louder now.
4. Watergate does not bother me, does your conscience bother you. Tell the truth.
5. I am so in love with you. Whatever you want to do is alright with me. You make me feel brand new.
6. Close your eyes, give me your hand darling. Do you feel my heart beating? (Eternal Flame - The Bangles; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)
7. I’ll be your non-stop lover, get it while you can. Your non-stop miracle: I’m your man.
8. Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think I still was a mad man.
9. After all it was a great big world with lots of places to run to. And if she had to die trying, she had one little promise she was gonna keep.
10. Go on now go, walk out the door. Just turn around ‘cause you’re not welcome anymore. Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? (I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)
11. You’re motoring. What’s your price for flight in finding Mr. Right? You’ll be alright tonight. (Sister Christian - Night Ranger; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)
12. Worry, why do I let myself worry? Wondering what in the world did I do.
13. It sort of like, well another way to call a cat or kitten. There’s five little letters missing here. (O.P.P. - Naughty by Nature; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)
14. Anybody could be that guy. Night is young and the music’s high. With a bit of rock music, everything is fine.
15. I came in the door, I said it before: I never let the mic magnitize me no more. (Eric B. Is President - Eric B. and Rakim; Bonus Not Guessed)
16. Think I’ll spend eternity in the city. Let the carbon monoxide choke my thoughts away.
17. We don’t want nothing, not a thing from you. Your life is trite and jaded, boring and confused. If that’s your best, your best won’t do.
18. Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along. When your day is night alone, if you feelin like letting go, when you think you had too much of this life, well hang on. (Everybody Hurts - R.E.M.; Guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)
19. It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you. There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. (Africa - Toto; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)
20. If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall. And the mountains should crumble to the sea. I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear. (Stand By Me - Ben E. King; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)
21. Son can you play me a memory I’m not really sure how it goes, but it’s sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a younger man’s clothes.
22. Take me to the magic of the moment on a glory night where the children of tomorrow dream away. (Wind of Change - The Scorpians; guessed by Doug; Bonus not Guessed)
23. You, You belong to me now. Ain’t gonna set you free now. When those girls start hanging around talking me down. Hear with your heart and you won't hear a sound.
24. There’ll be no strings to bind your hands. Not if my love can’t bind your heart. There’s no need to take a stand for it was I who chose to start. I see no need to take me home, I’m old enough to face the dawn.
25. This dance ain’t for everybody, only the sexy people. So all you fly mothers, get out there and dance. Dance I said! (Push It; guessed by Doug; Bonus Not Guessed)