I Guess You Forgot My Title: Undercover Specialist

I’m a purist at pretty much everything, I hate the designated hitter, David Lee Roth is the only lead singer of Van Halen. So when Survivor announced not one, but two twists for this season I cannot say I was thrilled. Make things worse is not only was one of the twists bringing back two past contestants, they were two of my least favorite of all time, Russell Hantz and “Boston” Rob Mariano. But surprisingly Redemption Island started out watchable enough with entertaining contestants such as Federal Agent (!) Philip Sheppard, Chewbacca impersonator Ralph Kiser, and two of the more attractive contestants in the history of the game, Andrea Boehlke and Natalie Tenerelli.

But then the Zapatera tribe had to go and anger the Survivor Gods and threw a challenge just to get Russell out after taking a quick 9-7 tribe advantage. But after quitting at a challenge they only one more after that, seeing their torches get stuffed eight straight times (if you do not count Matt getting his snuffed for the second time). This let Boston Rob and Manson Family style disciples to take hold on the game and made his reign the most boring stretch of episodes on any season of Survivor.

As for the other twist, Redemption Island also turned out to be an epic fail. Matt Elrod reenters the game and promptly gets voted out. Andrea reenters the game and promptly gets voted out. Redemption Island was an interesting concept, but the problem with introducing it into a game like Survivor where you almost always go with the easiest vote at tribal council and there is no easier vote than the person you already voted out.

In the end, a guy who played four times, half the time could not even make it to the jury, was the easy winner because he was saddled with the dumbest tribemates ever, lucked out that the other tribe was stupid enough to throw a challenge, and somehow competed in the season where all the immunity challenges had puzzles, even the last one which is always an endurance challenge (yes I am suggesting that Survivor helped Rob win). But congratulations to Rob, you won the most boring season ever. You join Barry Bonds as the least worthy person in the record books. Hopefully Survivor looked at the ratings, their lowest ever and never invites Rob back again. Also do not bring back Russell (which I was surprised Jeff flirted at considering it was revealed Russell leaked the outcome of his seasons. They should be suing him, not bringing him back).

But Rob is not the biggest problem with Survivor these days, after two of the three worst seasons back to back, the biggest problem with the show is casting. Seriously whoever did the casting these past seasons need to be fired quick. How does someone like Natalie get through the casting process? She got less screen time this season than the first person voted out this season and we saw why at the final tribal council when she could barely form complete sentences. Sure she is moderately attractive, but surely you can find token hot chicks that actually play a competent game much like former winners Parvati and Jenna. I would rather see a season full of Shambo’s than one full of Natalie’s.

Even though both twists were massive fails, Survivor is bringing them both back for next season. After twenty-two season, I may be out. I will give next season one episode but it is hard to think I could sit through another season like the last two. Maybe if the two they bring back are Coach and Philip for a showdown of the crazy people, which will up the comedy for the first three episodes, because I do not see either lasting longer than that unless they go on a Matt style Redemption run.

Survivor: Redemption Island gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

P.S. Is Vegas taking bets on how long the engagement of David Murphy and Carolina Eastwood will last because I would like to take the under. She definately wanted to say no.