May’s induction into the Scooter Hall of Fame, Blazing Saddles is a movie I hold close to my heart as it was the very first R-rated movie my parents ever let me see. And after quoting certain lines from the movie, it was the last R-rated movie they let me see for a while. The movie worked on so many levels and every age group. As a pre-pubescent boy, how could you not love the farting scene or the Road Runner type physical comedy with Mongo? As an adult, I have grown to enjoy the social satire of the mid-1970’s set in the 1870’s. This is a movie that will always be funny.
With every generation, there is a movie that every male knows and can quote by heart. My generation can spout Happy Gilmore lines on cue. For the previous generation, that movie was Caddyshack. Sadly the next generation seem to be able to quote Napoleon Dynamite ad nausea (I’m hoping that I’m just out of touch, and there is actually a different movie for them. One movie that every generation can quote, of course, is Blazing Saddles. It seems like every couple days a line from the movie comes out of my mouth. "Where all the white women at?" "Excuse me while I whip this out." "My name is Scooter, but most people call me… Scooter." And there are the quotes that kept my parents from letting me watch R-rated movies. Not to mention, there was a Law & Order show (Lord knows I can’t remember which one) that used the, "Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges."
Last year marked the 30th anniversary of Blazing Saddles and a special edition DVD was release to commemorate the movie. On the DVD was one of the worst audio commentaries with Mel Brooks just talking about the movie not necessarily talking about the scene that is going on then for a reason unbeknownst to me, the commentary stops long before the movie is over. There was an interesting documentary that points out that Richard Prior helped co-write the film (rather than writing foe Black Bark, he instead spent most of his time writing for Mongo) and was originally meant to play the sheriff before the studio nixed that idea. At least he got to work with Gene Wilder in the deaf/blind comedy, See No Evil, Hear No Evil. The DVD also includes some additional scenes, mostly with Mongo, and it also included the TV censored version of the campfire scene with horses neighing instead of the farting which is surprisingly funny hearing a different sound than what you know you should be hearing. The highlight of the special was the pilot for the Blazing Saddles spin-off, Black Bart staring Lou Gossett as the sheriff. I didn’t even realize that this existed until this disk came out. Granted, I hadn’t been born yet. The show, in itself, isn’t as good as the movie as the name Mel Brooks doesn’t appear in the credits. But it was interesting to see, nonetheless.
With Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs, among others, Mel Brooks has done the best at making fun of other genres. Sadly, no one has seemed to capture the brilliance of the Brooks’ parody. So today we are left with the horribly not funny Scary Movie franchise. The problem with today’s parodies is that that try too hard to mock other blockbusters, they ignore the story to get it, whereas, the Brooks’ films cared more about the overall stories, and the jokes will come from that.
Ben Folds, formally of the numerically deficient Ben Folds Five (there were only three of them), rode high on the Geek Rock phase in the late 90's that also included Weezer and Barenaked Ladies. After the release of the great Whatever and Ever Amen, featured the best break up song ever, A Song for the Dumped, and the big hit Brick, Ben dropped the other four two and released a lackluster debut solo album, Rockin' the Suburbs. Piano pop has since been taken over by the females such as Alicia Keys and Vanessa Carlton. I was about to write Ben off until I discovered the brilliant (expletive Deleted) Ain't (Expletive Deleted) and it renewed my faith. This was when I heard the first single, Landed, from the new album, Songs for Silverman. In the song, Folds almost admits his recent lackluster past with the line "If you wrote me off, I'd understand it." He may know that this may be his last shot and he comes out with some of his best work. Landed, like most of the songs on the album, is a grandioso song in vein of Elton John's 70's catalog (this is a guy who is known to sing Rocket Man in concert). Ben Folds has shown much growth as a songwriter with this album, dealing with more relationship from a more mature vantage point. This most evident in the opener, Bastard, an ode to an old man who thinks he know everything. In the song, he points out "The wiz man never fit you like the wiz kid did." It's almost as if he's talking about the smart-aleck Ben Folds that appeared on earlier albums. Jesusland, keeping with the 70's vibe, sounds disturbingly like Kansas' Dust in the Wind. The song is a drive through Red State America through the eyes a Blue States, so channeling Kansas (a Red State) almost makes sense. Gracie continues Folds love of names songs after females like Kate, Jane, and Julianne, Annie, along with Judy on this album. Gracie sounds like a lullaby to a young daughter that does better for the father-daughter relationship better than John Mayer could do and is not as sappy as Billy Joel's Lullaby.
Songs for Silverman gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
A very funny site I like to visit is The George Comics Blog. Over at the site is a weekly "Caption This Picture" contest and this week's winner in none other than yours truly, Scooter McGavin. So to everyone who says I'm not funny, all I have in response is "Suck it Trebek." Feel free to drop by the site yourself and see if you can do any better. So without further ado, here is the award-winning caption:
I thought you said you were going to build me a maid that looked like Natalie Portman.
I’m sick of all these people taking pot shots at Sesame Street because they are making the Cookie Monster more health conscience. First, if you care that much about a kid’s show and you have already gone threw puberty, than you, my sir, are a loser. And that includes you too, Jerry Falwell.
Secondly, have these morons gone out to the supermarket, among other places, and seen all the morbidly obese people waddling along. Call me shallow, but I'd rather look at more attractive, skinny people and if having the Cookie Monster eat some lettuce every once in a while, I’m fine with it. They could start calling him the Lettuce Monster if they want. Maybe it’s time for a major switch in our society so that it is no longer socially acceptable to have a majority of out population overweight. It's OK if we rip smokers for making an unhealthy choice but not the obese? But seriously, it's not that hard to do the 15-30 minutes of exercise each day that is recommended. If it takes doing your sit-ups during Oprah, than do it. Find the time chief. And if you need some more suggestions, they was a good article in Newsweek’s April 25th edition. I'll stop my rant there because there is nothing more I can say that Denis Leary hasn't already said.And just in case you were wondering what Sesame Street character I am, here you go:
The Count's Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
It started with a simple affection for counting and
the terror it induced in others, didn't it?
But now it's turned into a full-blown
life-consuming chaotic nightmare of order,
repetition, zealousness, and perfectionism.
You used to be so grand, but now you find
yourself obsessively worrying over the littlest
things--like, maybe if you don't check the
light switch at least once every two minutes,
the electricity will go out (and darnit, you're
a vampire--that shouldn't be a problem!), or
maybe if you don't wash your hands until your
seams are coming out, you'll get some fatal
disease. Get yourself some treatment.
Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
It's time for day 2 analysis of the Browns' part in the 2005 NFL draft. Scroll down a little for day 1 if you missed it. Before I get into the picks, let me handle some non-Browns issues. First, kudos to ESPN for playing the very appropriate The Choice is Yours by the Black Sheep to play going into the commercial breaks. This is a great song that always takes me back to Middle School. Secondly, more on taking a kicker with your first pick, I don't care how bad mine was last year, I never want see my team draft a kicker that early. If you are really that hard up for a kicker, go to Europe or South America and scout a minor league soccer player and offer him NFL money. That way you won't even need to waste a draft pick, and the soccer player will most likely better than anyone who will be in the draft. Hey, recruiting a soccer player worked in Necessary Roughness (granted you won't be able to find anyone as hot as Kathy Ireland). The Browns also picked up another draft pick (203) when they shipped Luke McCown to Tampa Bay. This is a good move for every one as I stated yesterday, cold weather teams need cold weather QB's. So with Frye, a warm weathered McCown was disposable. Plus I'm always a fan of stockpiling draft pick.
4th Round (103rd Overall) - Antonio Perkins (CB Oklahoma) - Yet another DB from OU. At least he and Pool will know each other’s tendencies so no honeymoon period need there. That is if either plays together as this makes 12 DB's on Cleveland's roster right now but Perkins should be a dime back option and help Northcutt out on returns.
5th Round (139th Overall) - David McMillan (DE Kansas) - Now we are getting to addressing the major problem with the Browns, the DL. McMillan seems a little small at weighing in at 262 pounds. Although he makes up for lack of size with his speed, but with Jamal Lewis in your division, what you need is some one to plug holes up from.
6th Round (176th Overall) - Nick Speegle (OLB New Mexico) - Joins an already crowded young LB crew. Granted most are poor Butch Davis draft picks that will be gone by the start of the season.
6th Round (203rd Overall) - Andrew Hoffman (DT Virginia) - This was from the McCown trade. Hoffman is a bit bigger, but a whole lot slower, than McMillan. So he will at least be a hole-plugger.
7th Round (217th Overall) - Jon Dunn (OT Virginia Tech) - First thing that jumps out at me about Dunn was he was suspended for a game for violating team rules. I couldn't find out exactly what the offence was but one game is virtually a slap on the rest so I'm not too worried about his character. Otherwise the guy seems like a horse, just what Cleveland needs up front.
Overall I give the Browns 2005 draft a B-. They touched on all their problem areas, but I feel that they should have gone for linemen on both sides of the ball on the first day. Hopefully they bring in more free agents to help in those positions. My early prediction is 6 wins for the Browns this year.
Back during my Super Bowl review, I noted that one of the best commercials was the "Everyone is Undefeated Tomorrow" Ad the NFL puts together every year. It's something that gives every fan of every team hope. Then it all crashes down for some come draft day, for instance if you team has no first round pick and wastes the first second round pick on a punter (sorry Jet fan). With the second longest first round ever, I guess I was lucky that Cleveland drafted early so I didn't have to sit around waiting for their pick. I could watch the opening, and then come back around dinner time for the second round. He is my analysis of the Brown's draft picks today.
1st round (3rd overall) - Braylon Edwards (WR Michigan) - Hear is a wasted pick. Where the ESPN commentators kept on bringing up that no WR with more that 60 catches last season, I attribute that to a horrible Jeff Garcia. Plus the Browns could spread it around with Andre' Davis, Dennis Northcutt, and Quincy Morgan/Antonio Bryant. Then you also had quality receiving TE's. So WR should not been a priority for the Browns. With that said, if I were to draft a WR, I would have gone with Mike Williams.
2nd Round (34th overall) - Brodney Pool (S Oklahoma) - This was puzzling because as they took a 2nd round S last year as well as two other S that were taken on the first day in recent drafts. They miss a good opportunity to draft a DL with three quality ones were on the board. With most of the DL jumping ship to Denver in the off-season, that should have been a priority.
3rd Round (67th overall) - Charlie Frye (QB Akron) - A solid chose here. He will have to fight with Josh Harris (another MAC alum) and Luke McCown for who gets to hex Trent Dilfer with a Tommy Maddox type injury so he will be able to jump in like Ben Rothlifnufttnutfutwer. I always like taking cold weather QB as they tend to do better late in the season and with Akron being just down from Cleveland, Frye will be more prepared for the weather than McCown (Louisiana Tech).
I give day 1 for the Browns a C+. For day two, the Browns need to focus on both lines, on offence and defense. I would also like to see them pick up some more draft picks or a DL and ship William Green out of town, but that might be too much to ask for. On a side note, do the Lions think if they keep on stockpiling 1st round WR’s, then Harrington will finally live up to his potential?
- My fantasy basketball team, Shawn Kemp's Revenge, came in second this season behind Boom Pow Surprise! Not bad for some one who just recently found out that they are now six divisions in the NBA.- You know it's officially Spring when Ohio's state flower, the Orange Barrel, starts to sprout on highways.
- If a girl wears a "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt and refuses to make out with you, can you sue her for false advertising?
- Am I the only one who was disappointed when the Nationals unveiled their new mascot, Screech, and Dustin Diamond didn't come out of the egg?
- What I can't understand is how ABC let a cable channel that it owns outbid itself for the rights to Monday Night Football? You don't see Bravo outbidding NBC for the rights to The Tonight Show. What's next, is ABC going to lose Desperate Housewives to ABCFamily? And is there anyplace where I can put money on John Madden jumping to NBC's Sunday Night game instead of moving to ESPN?
- A couple weeks ago, I lusted over the token hot chick in the Pepsi/iTunes commercial and after an exhausting search it turns out she actually has a name: Mandy Amano.
- So Tom DeLay's excuse for taking improper donation is "everyone else does it." Is this guy in Middle School? It's time to get rid of him and I have no problem if he takes down "everyone else" with him.
- New Dave Matthews Band video, American Baby, premiered this week. Decent song with a cool cross-section of the real American population that goes beyond Red State/Blue State. Check back in early May for a special Dave Matthews Band week to commemorate the release of their new album, Stand Up, culminating in a review of the new album as DMB is a rare life time member of the First Day Club.- It's not a new Star Wars movie time until Lucas finds a new way to pimp the franchise. Although the Cingular Ring Tone ads with Chewbacca are brilliant. Hopefully we get to see more recording sessions. A side note, check back May 12th for another special week, this time for Star Wars.
- A while back I reported on the NFL's list of names you cannot put on the back of jerseys. It seems that weeks after lifting the ban on "Gay" (which made sense considering they have a few player with that last name), they have finally found a name to fill "Gay's" spot, Ron Mexico. The ban was prompted after a slew of requests for "Mexico" on the back of Falcons' jersey #7. Some got a chuckle out of that they other might want to make a Google search (check the top left potion of the page).
- After constantly listening to the Ben Folds cover of Dr. Dre's (expletive deleted) Ain't (expletive deleted) I got to wondering, if I were a sensitive singer-songwriter, what gangsta rap song would I cover? After an extensive search through my massive gangsta rap library, I would have to go with The Ghetto Boys' Mind Playing Tricks On Me. Now that's some real conversation for your (expletive deleted).
A couple of months ago, iTunes offered up a Single of the Week by a new artist, Anna Nalick. The song, Breathe (2 AM), was mellow song that you want to blast while driving on a warm summer night and has been on heavy rotation in my life ever since. Unfortunately, the subsequence album took about four months to come out, which it finally did this week. Any wonder to why people try to download such albums before they are released. Luckily VH1 has been streaming the whole album for the last couple weeks, so I've had a chance to preview it just incase this was a one hit wonder situation. And after a few listens I can tell you Anna Nalick is far from Tubthumping territory.
Wreck of the Day starts out with Breathe and doesn't let down from there. Most of the songs conjure up images of some of the best female singer-songwriters of recent memory. With a piano driven album, Vanessa Carlton would be an easy comparison. Citadel sounds like something out of Jewel's Spirit era (still remains her best work), while In the Rough sounds more like and Americanized version of a Corrs song. Hints of the Cranberries, Sarah McLachlan and Michelle Branch can also be heard throughout her debut.
Other songs of note on the album include Catalyst a song where your heart will break when listening to especially during the line "God, don't know if I'm strong enough now." The song chronicles the self doubt of a woman who just got out of a relationship. Nalick also goes where some of my favorite songs have gone before, space, with Satellite joining Dave Matthews Band (Satellite) and Counting Crows (Recovering the Satellites). And like the other songs, Anna's Satellite is a song about looking to sky for some help. The highlight for me was the closer, Consider This, a bouncy song that sounds like it should be perform at a Cabaret (could be a good video idea). It even contains lines like, "So lay your hands over me, and feel what you only see, but don't bother wasting your time if you're trying to change me."
The one song that slips up a little is Forever Love which might sound more a home on a Mandy Moore album, not that there is anything wrong with that. Overall, it is hard to find any major flaws in the album.
Wreck of the Day gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.
1. Beverly Hills – Weezer (Check out my thought on this song at Just Don't Bring too Many Dudes.)
2. Club Foot – Kasabian (This song seems to popping up during all my favorite TV shows lately and was a former single of the week on iTunes.)
3. City of Blinding Light – U2
4. Work (Demo) – Jimmy Eat World (This was on the special edition version of JEW's latest album that I picked up as I'm a sucker for things of that nature. The song's a rawer version of the original.)
5. Back to Me – Kathleen Edwards (This was another great Single of the Week. It's a neo-country song, but not in the "My sister looks hot" kind of country.)
6. Behind These Hazel Eyes – Kelly Clarkson (This is the second song that she has conned me into liking. To be honest, it might be time for someone to hold an intervention for me.)
7. Be the Girl – Aslyn
8. Somebody – Bonnie McKee
9. A Lifetime – Better Than Ezra (From the guys that brought us Good, yet another solid song. BTE is one of the few bands to constantly put out good music.)
10. Telescope Eyes – Eisley
11. Toxic – Local H (A disturbingly faithful cover of the Brittany Spears song from the band best known for the mid-90's rocker, Bound to the Floor. Yet not even the best cover on this CD. That title goes to:)
12. (expletive deleted) Ain’t (expletive deleted) – Ben Folds (Due to the website's censors, I need to explain this. The song is a moody, piano driven version of the last song on Dr. Dre's first album which features Snoop Doggy Dogg. If you are not sure what I'm talking about, click the link and take a listen for yourself. This is the very reason that makes iTunes great. Due to the lyric, the song won't be played on the radio and it wouldn't fit very well on an album, so iTunes is a great place to get this type of music.)
13. Landed – Ben Folds
14. Chariot – Gavin DeGraw
15. Ordinary People – John Legend
16. All Falls Down – John Legend & Kanye West (A great live version of the song.)
17. 1 Thing – Amerie (The best song from a Will Smith movie since, umm, does the Theme to The Fresh Prince of Bel Air count?)
18. Gotta Get Up from Here – Ellie Lawson (This song has a cool Celtic feel to it.)
19. When the President Talks to God – Bright Eyes (A thoroughly amusing, yet sad at the same time, song you can get free the last time I checked at iTunes. Something everyone should take a listen to, which is easy because it's free. Who doesn't like free?)
20. Coconut – Harry Nilsson (A completely cheesy song that recently got co-opted by Coke. I've loved the song ever since it appeared on the Reservoir Dogs soundtrack.)
A couple years back I saw an amazing movie, Black Hawk Down. I was so moved by the movie that once I heard it was based on a book I eventually went out and bought the book. Before I go into the book, I should make a not that I count the number of books I've read that I wasn't required for school without having to take off my shoes. Even though I'm not a big reader, I knew this would be something I'd enjoy. It did take me a while to finish with the book clocking in at 430 pages. Not to mention my penchant of reading my magazine subscriptions before getting back to my place in the book
As for the book itself, everyone should know the story by now. Like the movie, it chronicles the failed 1993 mission in the Somali capital of Mogadishu that ended with two Black Hawk helicopters being shot down by Somali insurgents that left many Americans solders dead or wounded. The movie itself did a very good job keeping with the spirit of the movie, but with the book at 430 pages, there were plenty of things that were left out of the 144 minute movie. Where the movie focused almost exclusively on the actual battle, the book covers more of led up to the conflict and goes more in depth analyzing the outcome. The movie also depicted only a handful of the solders that were involved the book profiles about three times more. The movie spent almost of the screen time focused exclusively on Somalia, but the book also looks into the families of the soldiers back home and also looks in on some of the response from Washington.
Included in the version of the book I bought (the Movie Tie-In Edition) was an eight page Afterword by author, Mark Bowen, written in 1999 as it was interesting to hear Bowen talk about the impact his book made (even before the movie was made), even being embraced by the military itself. It would be interesting to see what else he would say about the impact now that the movie has been released.
The Back Hawk Down incident is even relevant today as we are currently fighting a primarily urban war in Iraq. Many of the problems the soldiers were facing in Mogadishu, the current soldiers are facing in places like Baghdad and Fallujah with not being able to tell the difference between insurgent and civilians, the opposition carrying rocket launchers and other high-tech weapons, and questions of "why are we there?" from a portion of the population back home. Interestingly enough, Bowen said in the book that not finishing the job in Mogadishu would make the United States look week opening us up to attacks abroad thinking we would retreat like we did in 1993. And it looks like he was right with the Embassy attacks, the attack on the USS Cole, and later the September 11th attacks. Many experts even point to Somalia as the inspiration for Osoma bin Laden and Al-Quada.
Black Hawk Down a on my Terror Alert System.
April 15th, and you know what that mean, all us smart people have our tax refunds already. And for all you procrastinators out there, well, you most likely are too busy to be reading this, so really I have nothing for you. The most interesting this about my tax refund this year is that it came along with an advertisement. I found that odd, but anything that keeps my taxes down, I'm keen on (would anyone be against the Lego's Pentagon or the Aquafina Reflecting Pool?). But the advertisement was from the Office of Women's Health. I'm trying to remember if I checked the wrong box last census.
One little griping point, even though I enjoy the hefty refund I get each Spring I can never understand why they just take out the right amount each paycheck? I'm a simple man with a simple life; I can't image it that hard for them to figure it out. If it takes filling out a new W2 each year, have the correct tax taken out each week, I'm for that rather than wrestling with all the tax forms the government sends me each January.
There are a couple music videos that have caught my eye lately. I thought I would wax poetic on a couple of note.
Weezer - Beverly Hills
The best video is by a group who constantly puts out get videos from the Happy Days inspired Buddy Holly to The Muppets inspired Keep Fishin'. Now Weezer is back with a romp with their fans through the Playboy Mansion. The video starts off with Hef calling the drummer, Pat (whom seems to get the best parts in the videos as he was last seen being kidnapped by Miss Piggy) seeing if the band wanted to drop by to play for "the girls." And when Pat asked if he could bring some friends, Hef responds "Just don't bring too many dudes," which could be the downfall of any party. After that, we are treated to three and a half minutes of Weezer mixing with Playboy Playmates. And I could be wrong, but I believe there is a Jessica Biel sighting too. Unfortunately for me, as a member of their website, I got an invite to an undisclosed location to film their new video. Had I known that the undisclosed location was the Playboy Mansion, I might have bought a plain ticket to California. Throughout the video, the Weezer fans started flashing the Weezer symbol that I can't help to think is almost the exact sign for "Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to (mess) with."
The song itself is the catchiest Weezer song since, well the last Weezer single off the last album. The big different from past songs is that Beverly Hills was produced by Rick Rubin (think Jay-Z's 99 Problems, Red Hot Chili Pepper's Blood Sugar Sex Magic, and Beastie Boys' Licence to Ill) who brings the dirty bass line of the song. The lyrics, of course, follows a nerd who dreams of living the big life but then realizes he wouldn't fit. And nothing proves this theory than the video itself.
Rob Thomas - Lonely No More
Another funny video, albeit for a different reason, is the first solo song by Rob Thomas, the leader of matchboxtwenty. The funny part of the video for Lonely No More isn't the inexplicable set changes, no it's Rob Thomas trying to dance. The first time I saw it, I dropped to the floor laughing. It shot strait to the top of my list of funniest thing I've seen this year. For those who haven't seen it yet, and if you haven't, I highly recommend you do, his dance look like a cross between Axl Rose's snake dance and the sway back and forth dance from JoJo's first video. And yes, it is disturbingly funny as it sounds.
Mariah Carey - It's Like That
Now lets move on to a video that isn't even ironically funny like Rob Thomas', the new Mariah Carey video, It's Like That. It's sad that Mariah doesn't realize that she can no longer pull off the sexpot image of the Honey era. This is the one of the major reasons her last couple albums have flopped. The other being that she is not relevant in the hip-hop community no matter how many guest rapper/producers she has on her album. It may be time for an intervention trying to convince here to go back to the adult contemporary music she made on her first couple albums. If you think about it, those fans who grew up with her early stuff are in their late 20's into their early 40's and are primed for a more mellow, soulful Mariah. For the video, it starts off with the uber-annoying Jermaine Dupri, grant there is nothing I can't say about him that Dr. Dre already said in Say What U Said. The rest of the video is Mariah trying to pull sexy off with a lot wind blown hair and even more skin despite her getting thicker by the year. Then, for no apparent reason, Eric Roberts show up just to stand around. I don't know if this was an extenuation of the Killers' Mr. Brightside, but it made no sense. And speaking of extenuations, the video ends with a "To Be Continued..." Just what we need, another video with no plot. It would be like finishing Napoleon Dynamite with a "To Be Continued..."
Jack Johnson - Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Lastly is a new favorite artist of mine, Jack Johnson. The video concept for Sitting, Waiting, Wishing is pretty simple, film a lot of destructive images backwards. Not the most original concept as The Pharcyde did the same thing in the Spike Jones directed Drop ten years ago. Nonetheless, definitely something you want to check out. Plus you got to admire anyone who can sing backwards while being attacked by different food products.