57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/11/15

Fear the Walking Dead: Well that had to be the dumbest idea in the history of bad ideas to let out an arena full of zombie and lead them into the building you are trying to sneak in to. Certainly there had to be a better plan out there than that. And that ocean looked pretty blood red which is ominous for the next season.
You can download Fear the Walking Dead on iTunes.

The StrainWith everyone converging on the Luman I predicted someone would die. I was right and wrong, no one going after the book perished but the show befuddingly killed off the two hot chicks. Hurph.
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Quantico:Of course the dude did not die in the future, but I guess it is better than waiting until the middle of the season to reveal that like the first season of Revenge. Then my favorite twist from the premiere the twin Arabs got a little less interesting after learning they were brought in by the Assistant Director. And it is too obvious of a prediction that the gay dude is not really gay and just wants to be the first openly gay recruit? I would not be at all surprised if he does not hook up with one of the Arab Twins before Christmas.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: Barbra and Tigress, oh my. I know we the audience know he is evil, but c'mon, did no one notice how bad Galavan and Jerome were interacting in their interaction? At least they killed the latter because he was really becoming the annoying. But Alfred flirting with Dr. Tomkins really made this episode.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: Only one episode this week but the final Auditions did bring a couple of great song choices before the coaches take over and pick the same tired songs (Ain't No Mountain High Enough and yet another Sam Smith song were featured in the promo, le sigh). The last gasp song first ever songs from the catalogs of Tom Waits, Gary Clark Jr., Wonderwall (darn you montage) and whoever you want to credit Dream a Little Dream to, Mama Cass probably being the most famous. But we hay have had our worst Blind Audition of the season when someone had the audacity to try to cover The Scientist. Um, no, Holly Henry owns that cover; it should be retired to The Voice Hall of Fame (to a lesser extent Shelby Brown was alright, but she is no Amanda Brown).

Blindspot: Well that was shocking. I expected bearded dude to be an integral part of the show and they just killed him off. But who exactly was he telling Lady Siff not to trust? I thought he was talking about the FBI but was he not the one who sent her to them? We do know he wiped her memory, but maybe he did not put the tattoos on her. Mmmm, this show is slowly getting interesting. At least we got confirmation that Lady Siff is the FBI dude's childhood friend (which ironically made me a little suspicious that maybe she is not for the first time; though I still think his father was/is involved) so they are not drawing out that storyline.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: I guess I read the Kate leaving situation wrong, she was not leaving town to catch the bad guys, just leaving Castle to keep him safe. Alrightly. But it turns out I am kind of right with Alexis turning into Veronica Mars. Not only did she go blonde but investigated a Stanford Prison Experiment, something Ronnie did in season three. And if Halloween lasts all month like Kate suggests, does that mean we get three more weeks of Angel Alexis? I would not have any problems with that.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Well that was disappointing. I was hoping that we would get more of Gemma on the other planet, maybe running into otherworldly characters in the Marvel universe. Instead we got maybe two minutes on the other planet. We did not even get to see what was chasing her last week. Meh. Maybe she brought back a parasite or two.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor:Second Chances: For those keeping track at home, there have been three episodes and Abi Maria has switched alliances three times. Awesome. Seriously, how do you have a four to two advantage in the numbers and then have three of them being the only three discussed in going home. You would think having all returning players would cut down on the stupid mistakes but this has been the most wild season after three episodes maybe ever. On paper taking Abi Maria to the finals is a sound strategy because no one would vote for her but everyone she is aligned with keep on getting voted out the very next episode. I cannot wait to see who she turns on next week.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Modern Family: Boooooooo. I was hoping Dylan was going to move in permanently.
You can download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Blacklist: So Ressler would not stop the Russian limo because it was tantamount to invading Russian soil to arrest Lizzie, but he had no problem possibly starting World War III to save her life. I love the logic on the show.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 10/4/15

Once Upon a Time: Seriously, who brings a baby into a twister bound restaurant to another land? But anyway. I kind of liked the ending even though it probably means for the first part of the season we will probably get split story lines from present day and six months ago.

Ray Donovan: So the pop Armenian singer did not work? Maybe I should have guessed that you should not trust Armenian gangsters to keep their word. I was a bit surprised that the FBI guy did not come back at all, Ray did shoot and left him by the side of the road. Maybe next season. Instead we had to spend too much time with Bridget and her teacher who, yes, crossed the proverbial line, but did not do so with two feet. But they did go back to the priest whose storyline was dropped halfway through the season, but no Arayians who were dropped around the same time. But I am guessing Ray going back to the Lord will not last by the time season four comes around.

Fear the Walking Dead: Wait, are the two step siblings going to hook up. That is kind of ew. And why trash the house, just live there? It is much nicer than the one you are living in and the owners are not coming back. And why do I care more about some silly throwaway scene more than the revelation that they are going to "humanely" kill off the civilian population.

Masters of Sex: Oh wow, Bill gave up on Virginia. So does that mean the Little Brown Man (when Betty first said this I was like "oh my" as I did not know that Little Brown was a publishing house) goes nuclear at the press party telling the press about Bill's legal trouble? It it plausible with how the show does time jumps that Bill could spend some time in prison (like the last two summers I am going to stay away from the spoiler zone that is his Wikipedia page). Then there are the questions of the state of his marriage, whether Virginia marries the scent king, and Bill's legal troubles. It actually may be harder not to look at spoilers this time around.

The Strain: I would not all be disappointed if the show devolved into the Gus and Angel show. It would be better than bring back the rat that sits on Eph's head. And it was a different wig to. I wonder if Corey Stoll burned the anime looking original wig and when it came time for the flashback the costume department just had to grab a random one off the rack. I joked earlier this season that they were not going to kill someone off right after including an opening credits sequence (which aired just that one time randomly) but someone has to die next week, right? With everyone descending on the Luman it is hard to think all the players get out alive. Sadly I think it may be the Nazi Vampire (who would have guessed three years ago I would be sad someone killed a Nazi vampire?).
You can download The Strain on iTunes.

Quantico: When I saw the previews I wrote that best case scenario it was going to be Homeland season four; worst case scenario: Homeland season three. After one episode it looks much more like season three. Actually it may be worse, it may be more like some crappy Shonda Rhimes show where absurdly attractive professionals have sex with each other in between twists upon twists even if those twists are extremely obvious or make little to no sense. Really the only twist I liked from the premiere (even though it fell into the makes no sense category) was the Muslim twins. I also do not like the storytelling devise of flashing back to the first days of Quantico mixed with a blown up building. Why not tell a linear story of the first days of the FBI and then blow up the building in the season or mid-season final? But I will continue to watch. And let me go ahead and predict the FBI trainer guy is the one setting up the hot Indian chick. Either him or "Taylor Swift" because it will either be the most obvious or one that makes little to no sense.
You can download Quantico on iTunes.

Gotham: So the big new from the show this week was that Jim Gordon and Leslie Thompkins are having a kid. Well not on the show but the actors are in real life. Alright. I wonder if that will be written into the show or she will be hiding behind medical tables soon or maybe she will be kidnapped in the second half of the season. As for the actual show, so a bunch of cheerleaders are about to be set on fire but no one thought to go out the fire door?
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

The Voice: The first couple seasons were mostly enjoyable, I made it through the whole season for the first and third seasons (I have to skip the disastrous second season finale). Since then I usually am out sometime around the time the show goes live. I usually fault this on the lack of good singers because in those first three seasons the openly recruited seasoned professionals but since has been more of American Idol type show with mostly armatures (seriously who are there some many teenagers with braces this season?). In the first three seasons there were about twelve different singers on the show who were already in my music library before they auditioned by since that number is one (and she was montaged off the show).

Then this week I was kind of bored again with the same old mediocre teenagers doing boring and bland karaoke versions of songs. And then they introduced another rocker nanny, which we have seen a few times on the show (remember the good old days when Alicia Keys backup singers were the cliche; have we run out of Alicia Keys back up singers?). But then rocker nanny mentioned she used to be in a band called Sleeper Agent. Wait, what? Not only were they in my music library, their song Get Burned was #22 on my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2012. Okay so her Blind Audition was not great, but if she makes it around to the Knockout Round maybe they will actually let her perform Get Burned.

Last week I mentioned how the Blind Auditions bring out some awesome song selections (before devolving into the same overused catalog in the Battle that get more tired the closer to the finale) and this we got first ever songs on the show from Cheap Trick, Mountain, Cameo, Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness, oh yeah, and someone auditioned with the Rollergirl theme song. That was definitely the most random song choice since someone sang The Jeffersons Theme Song.

Blindspot: Well that is and interesting plot that Lady Sif may be someone from the FBI's past (whom his father was accused of kidnapping and murdering). I do fear this may play out like The Blacklist where there was overwhelming evidence that Red is Lizzie's father only for Red to deny it for two seasons. I am guessing the DNA match will come up negative next week but still tease that that is what happen. The show would be much interesting if it turns out FBI guy's dad did actually kidnap Lady Sif and was the one who trained her.
You can download Blindspot on iTunes..

Castle: Wait, what just happened, is Kate leaving the show or are we getting two separate story lines every week, case of the week and Kate looking for the real killers? I mentioned last week offhandedly I would not mind if the show switched into a Veronica Mars, father daughter PI dynamic with Castle and Alexis but I did not actually think it might happen.
You can download Castle.

Marvel's Agents of S.I.E.L.D.: So over their summer vacation Fitz went from brain damaged to Indiana Jones. Alrighty. While I have spent all summer trying to figure out what happened to Gemma and a black hole portal that bends space and time never once crossed my mind. Hopefully the end of this storyline is not as bad as the ending to Intersteller. But anyway. I am not that familiar with Marvel comics so I am not entirely sure where she is and even though cinematic characters rarely show up, I will be slightly disappointed if we do not see one of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Hey, Bradly Cooper has shown willingness to show up on crappy televised versions of his movies. I would even be content with the cosmonaut dog or even Howard the Duck.I was interested in the clock counting down until the Inhumans reach one hundred percent but there are no Marvel movies coming out February 2017 (assuming my math is right) but the next movie after that is the second Guardians movie, not that Gemma will still be around by then (unless this is like the Intersteller water planet where hour equaled like five Earth years). Plus we are still four years away from an Inhumans movie. Speaking of which, the new big bad is effectively scary in a Buffy monster of the week kind of way.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Second Chances: After thirty season, Survivor has become a well oiled machine that I can recognize every beat that it hits. But that last segment was a weird one. When Varner teased before the break that Shirin and Spencer sealed their fate, I have been conditioned to think either 1) his plan will go horribly wrong or 2) the show will may think think someone is going to flip but ended up towing the line. So when Abi Maria actually told Shirin she was probably going home I though, uh oh, you never tell someone that, now those two will scramble to get someone out. So when they talked to Wooooooooooooo I thought we would get Wooooooooooo saying that maybe he should weigh his option, but no, he shut them down right then. So when they walked to Tribal Council I thought, okay, Abi is going to go full crazy Brazilian chick and get people to turn on them. But no. The dominate alliance did not even mess up splitting the vote. So not only is the show playing with the contestants this season (two twists in the premiere and the promos spoiling another big one next week) they are playing with the viewer's expectations too. And I kind of like it.
You can download Survivor: Second Chance on iTunes.

Nashville: I wonder why they did not kill Deacon's sister last week but I guess they just waited a week.
You can download Nashville on iTunes.

The Blacklist: This show really needed a previously on package. It is hard enough for me to remember last week let along what happen three or four months ago. But, oh my, blonde Lizzy.
The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/10/15

Mad Man: I do not care that an organ just randomly popped up in the desolate offices of Sterling Cooper and Partners, I am just glad it did because those were some of the best scenes in the history of the show, especially Peggy drunkenly roller skating around. Don, on the other hand, chasing down the waitress' ex-husband was not.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Revenge: Holy Abbott reunion! Nice of Amy to retain the services of her father after getting arrested. It is weird to think both of the Abbott children are now superheroes. But anyway. Oh yeah, Courtney Love the hitman that I believe Margot hired to kill Emily is still out there and for some reason she is hanging out with a not so surprisingly not dead Victoria. Does Courtney also do security too and that is why she is there or is she there in a hitman capacity? Thankfully there is only one episode left ever.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

American Odyssey: I was harsh on the the premiere because it was looking like another rich people are evil and will stay in power by any means necessary type story, something we have seen many times before and done much better. And yeah, that story line is still kind of annoying, but the show has managed to get more entertaining thanks to the transvestite Arab television star who seduces the Malian general for help. Yeah the show has not gotten to Homeland levels of absurdity yet (you know Carrie would have seduced Aslam by now) but at least it has gotten watchable.
You can download American Odyssey on iTunes.

Gotham: What a cluster of a finale, and yet it was still very enjoyable. That was one of the best chick fights in recent memory. I cannot remember a time before when a character has had that many personality changes in one season than Barbra did this season. Where do they actually go from here with her? You pretty much has to turn her into a supervillian at this point because it is hard to redeem her at this point after attacking the good doctor. And there seems to be some darkness lurking in the doctor too, knowing to beak the mirror to make a weapon to banging Barabra's way more than she really had too.

But my favorite part was all twists at the Falcone "safe house." Just when you thought it was the end, some one else would turn or someone else would randomly find a gun. My favorite point was Harvey just hanging out in the gallery while his partner still was hung by a meat hook.

My two biggest problems were they really just shoehorned in the Riddler, they might as well have just ended the last episode with that scene and left him out of the finale where it felt out of place. Then the ending was just annoying because they teased that scene about three or four weeks ago.
You can download Gotham on iTunes.

Castle: I was really hoping Carly Rae Jepsen, as her self, was going to turn out to be the killer. Instead it just turned out to be the accountant. Yawn.  Seriously, why even go on a cop show if you do not get to be the killer?

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Well that was a tense meeting. You had to figure something bad was going to happen, the big question was what. Ward with the twin jet seemed like the most likely considering Raina's premonition; Raina herself was another contender; you of course could not count out the two people meeting, both seemed to be on the right side but a little shady. Now just how long will this SHIELD / Inhumans war goes on? Is it over at the end of the season which is just two hours away, or does this drag into next season (or does it drag on until the Inhumans movie comes out in, oh goodness, 2019, eleven Marvel movies away)?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Blue Collar vs. White Collar. vs. No Collar: When the vote came down to Dan and Tyler I figured Dan had to use his special vote now right and hope Mike and Seirra also vote Tyler just in case? Shockingly not only does he keeps it in his pocket he does not even vote for Tyler, sticking with the Mike split vote. Tyler even did the same thing. Wow, those two were morons. But the biggest part of the episode happened during the commercial break when Probst announced the next season of Survivor will be Second Chances with us the viewing public voting. This got me excited until I saw the list which was fifty percent who and thirty percent why. But, hey, at least they included Ciera, the most entertaining contestant of the past decade. On the other hand there was Mike and Carolyn, and since this is a second chance season of non-winner it pretty much means neither of them will be winning this season (after someone asked him about it, Probst said if either of them win, their votes would be null and void, but c'mon, they already knew if those two won or not why include them if they did; and anyway, who would even vote for Carolyn anyway?). Here are the twenty people I will be voting for everyday until the finale:

Kelly Wiglesworth
Peig-Gee Law
Monica Padilla
Natalie Tenerelli
Mikayla Wingle
Sabrina Thompson
Abi-Maria Gomes
Ciera Eastin
Tasha Fox
Kelley Wentworth (after seeing them on the same list, maybe Kelly Wiglesworth and Kelley Wentworth on the same season will be extremely confusing; I may switch to Shirin instead)

Jeff Varner
Andrew Savage
Stephen Fishbach
Troyzan Robertson
Vytas Baskauskas
Woooooooooooooooooooooooo Hwang
Spencer Bledsoe
Jeremy Collins
Keith Nale
Max Dawson
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The Blacklist: It seems like I have been lost most of the season having little to no clue. I again had trouble keeping up with most of this episode until everything finally became clear at the end when it seemed like the whole season was leading up to Lizzie being outed as a Russian spy. A little clunky getting there, but hopefully it plays out a lot better. Maybe Lizzie should get on that boat with Tom.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/29/15

Once Upon a Time: So if the good guys are going to pick off Mr. Gold's cabal one by one with kindness, does this mean they are going to give Cruella Dr. Hopper's Dalmatian as an appeasement to her at some point?
You can Download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Oh no, Sammy called the Army to report Ian. Which begs the question how did it take a tip from someone to catch him, Ian was hiding in his own home? I wonder if he will get a bunk with his brother.

The Walking Dead: Oh snap, I just figured that the old group would just blindly follow Rick with his overthrow of Alexandria but it did not cross my mind that any of them would actually want to assimilate which apparently Michone does. If Rick is exiled like I assume I wonder who goes with him. Of course they will be back just as Rick warned Deanna that anyone exile will be back. Sure the middle episodes were a bit of a drag but no one does season premieres / finales like this show and next week should be explosive. Plus we still have the person that is marking walker foreheads with a Scarlet A.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: So a taxi to happened to plow Margot over in the fire lane? Seems fishing, nothing is that coincidental on this show. I wonder if her henchman had anything to do with it, with or without Margo's knowledge, because he seemed a little to overeager not to give up the fight.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

Bates Motel: So Norman did not kill the token hot chick like I feared, but she still ended up dead. Meh.
You can download Bates Motel on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have long predicted a not so dead Mona would turn out to Be A, well at least I was half right. When her name flashed up under the guest star list I then assumed a not so dead Alison's mother was going to be A after realizing it was not Mona. Completely wrong at that. We learned that Charles is actually A and by the home movie that do make it seem like Charles is Jason's twin brother that apparently no one knew existed. If so, where has he been all this time? Did the Dilarentas family have him hidden in that bunker this whole time?
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Marvel's Agent of SHIELD: So the "Real SHIELD" does not trust Coulson and his alien DNA, that actually seems reasonable. They could have spent the whole episode in that conference room explaining stuff I would not have minded because I could not care less about Ward and Agent 33 (but it did give us some decent comedy with Talbott ruining his marriage and basically sexually harassing his female underlings).
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: One of the main problems with this season was that you knew that Raylan was not going to catch Boyd until the series finale but much like season four where they actually caught Drew Thompson a couple episodes prior to the finale and then ending up have its best episodes of the season after that, Raylan actually caught Boyd redhanded with a couple episodes left. It looks like we may get the trial Tim was hoping for. Though since the CI shot him, I wonder if a RICO case will stick.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: Congratulations to Sarah and Jordan. And since you won, you can both retire because I really have no desire to see either back on the show. And take Jay and Jenna with you because they do not deserve another invite after quitting (though it is odd the other challenges had a thirty minute time limit but the drinking one). Pure rookie moves, first they do not look at LeRoy's answer and then they actually tried drinking the fish oil while Sarah and Teresa clearly poured half of it down their faces and then spit out the rest while pretending to puke.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: Blue Collar vs. White Collar vs. No Collar: Morons, Survivor 101 states you never, under any circumstance: throw a challenge. The only time anyone threw a challenge and actually ended up winning was when in Fans vs. Favorites they did not even bother to compete just to get rid of Brandon Hantz. Every other time a team that has thrown a challenge, no one involved ever won that season. It is weird to think after how bad their tribe was, No Collar may actually be in the drivers seat. Blue Collar is in disarray, White Collar lost two members after the tribe swap, if smart the No Collar could easily decimate everyone, but are they smart enough to do that now that the merge is immanent?
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The Americans: Could Stan actually take the fall for the bug in the pen? If someone catches him working with Oleg he would have to move to the top of the suspect list for the FBI. But I have a feeling the black dude will end up being that fall guy.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Wait, did they just out Lizzie as being pregnant? Tom having an ultrasound in his pocket pretty much confirms it. Red is going to be very disappointed.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/22/15

Shameless: I was hoping for a Carl / Chucky juvenile spinoff but it looks like we will be getting that on the main show with both being sentenced to hard time. Of course Chucky ended up with the white supremacists while Carl ended up with the hood gang. Elsewhere I really liked the doctor story line, I just wonder how long it will last. On one hand, Frank needs a place to stay, on the other, the last time he took care of a dying women in hopes of being left her estate did not work out very well for him. But then again, nothing really works out for him except for his inability to stay dead.

The Walking Dead: A couple weeks ago I floated out the theory that it was not Rick and company who should be weary of the residents of Alexandria because they always run into evil doers, it should be Alexandria that should be hesitant of the new group. It looks like I am not the only one as the reverend also voiced his concern over Rick. With the death of the congresswoman's son, I am guessing the coup will be coming next week (or at the very least in two weeks for the finale).And poor young Chris Rock, but how do you let one person out power two in the revolving door? And speaking of those two deaths, the camera really lingered way too long on those death scenes.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Bates Motel: So Norman maybe killed the token hot chick already? Bummer. But that was not her in the lake was it, it looked more like a dude, I first thought that was the creepy neighbor.
You can download Bates Motel on iTunes

Community: About a decade ago Arrested Development did everything it could to get a fourth season, they even slipped some in jokes about hoping to being picked up by HBO or Showtime into episodes. But alas, the show could not find a new home. Five years later, DirecTV saved Damages from cancellation opening up a flood gate an now five short years after that no beloved or cult television show is allowed to died because there are so many channels, band streaming sites looking for content. Even horrible shows that everyone hates like The Killing somehow manages a reprieve. Seven years later Arrested Development finally got its fourth season. So it is clear we are now living in an era when no media property will die as long as everyone involved wants it to live on (sorry Friday Night Lights fans, Kyle Chandler has no interest in reviving the series, probably for the best).

So when Community finally got the ax from NBC, the was little question on if it would get its prophetized six seasons a movie, the question would be where would it land. Hulu passed and surprisingly Yahoo! wanted to get in the streaming game. Even more surprising is that the show is basically commercial free and free to watch. I watched the first two episode and they only aired on ad before the first one. As for the content itself, it is still Community even though it is down yet another cast member (Shirley escaped to CBS multicam hell), it did not even relish in the lack of network standards and practices. Like always it is somewhat enjoyable but I really hope that this is it, well plus a movie. But even if this is it, it will probably be revived again in five years or so.
You can watch Community on Yahoo Screen.

Pretty Little Liars: I have been out on this show for a season or two now, but this episode finally pulled me back in with the characters acting like idiots (passing notes in jail with the lawyer calling them out for it; Aria's brother leaving the car after getting hit with an arrow... stay in the car and keep driving you moron, do not leave the car where there is not a windshield to protect you) and other characters just doing things for no apparent reason (Calab just sitting in the dark at the cabin) and a big plot twist: Alison gets convicted followed directly by all the Liars getting arrested. If only they had gone to the police after the first text. An let me predict one more time, a not so dead Mona will turn out to be the next A that will be revealed next week.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: So the big secret Bobbi and Mack have is they are covert operatives for "the real SHIELD." Alrighty. At least they only drug that secret out two episode. Granted if Edward James Olmos is involved, maybe it is the real SHIELD. And let me guess, he is going to want to lock Skye up but over Colson's dead body.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes

Justified: If you are dumb enough not to assume the evil crime boss lady does not keep a gun in her purse, you definitely deserve to die. The Ava finally tipped her hand and went with Raylan this week, unfortunately for her, Boyd did not get caught red handed as he did not make it through the bottom of the floor. Yeah, it probably was not the best idea to trust the crazy explosion expert.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: So Sarah has had two of her partners leave prematurely and was sent home too as a result; Leroy had two of his sent home and both times got a replacement partner. This time he got an upgrade right before the finale. Lucky boy. Why not just hand him the prize right then and there (well probably because Sarah ends up winning anyway). But the best part of the show was the After Show with Banana's saying he would never sell out a friend / cut to him selling out Paula. Did he forget all of this was on tape?
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar: Ask and you shall receive, just last week I was complaining about no Reward Challenges and we get two this week. The show flows a lot better with two challenges per episode. Then we had a Tribe Swap which could not have ended better for Blue Collar, a majority on one tribe and a swing vote on the other. Bearded dude brought up it ended up like the swap back in One World but it was also divided by strength back in the Fans vs. Favorites II season also. Maybe it is fixed.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

The Americans: Wait, is Martha really going to forgive Clark? Even more surprising, how does Clark kill Martha just in case?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Wait, so they just let Tom walk after confessing to killing harbor master just to keep Lizzy out of jail even though the AG guy could have made the whole thing go away anyway? Maybe Tom should have been taken to a black site. I really hope he does not end up joining the team somewhere down the road.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/15/15

Once Upon a Time: So Snow White had something to do with Malicifant losing her baby and she had something to do with Cora's death... are we sure he is really pure at heart?
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Considering all the horrible things Frank has done, I am not sure this tops the list, but getting your grandson arrested by selling out your son at the same time is pretty high on the list. I have long advocated for a Justified spinoff starring Dewey and Dicky in prison, but a Shameless spinoff with Chucky and Uncle Carl in prison may just be as entertaining.

House of Lies: As soon as Clyde hooked up with Kelsey after Doug got there first last week my first thought was, oh no, we are going to have to sit though a threesome of them. Kelsey quickly brought it up shortly afterwards, joking or not, but I really fear they will go through with it. You know Doug will have no qualms about it, no will Clyde just talk himself into it.

Revenge: So the chick from Firefly is Victoria's ex-mother-in-law... What? It is really time for this show to end.
You can download Revenge on iTunes.

The Returned: As I teased in my preview, the sisters turning out be twins was extremely freaky. Twins are kind of freaky on their own but this takes it to another level. And to tease upcoming episodes, their twin connection get only more freaky in upcoming episodes. I did not get to bring it up in the preview, so just let me now point out just how wrong having sex with a "psychic" to connect with your daughter is. And if you are a fake physic, why add they sex part to it?
You can download The Returned on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I was expecting the trial to be a little more explosive than that. Sure it came out that Mama Marrin hooked up with Jason and the prosecutor theorized that Alison was never kidnapped without any actual proof. Hopefully they are much more fireworks in the season finale which promises another "A" reveal which I think with be the fifth in the show's history. Let me go and predict a not so dead Mona is pulling the strings.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: If ABC decides not to bring Agent Carter back, they should definitely go with a Lady Sif spin-off for a mid season filler for SHIELD. Or even better, cut SHIELD to ten episodes, then ten of Agent Carter and Lad Sif.
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes

Switched at Birth: Whoa, Bay, of course Emmett is going to break up with you when you go all crazy girlfriend on him, interrupting his movie not once but twice. But very smooth for Emmett to pull they maybe we can hook back up after college if I cannot find anything better while I am here ploy. Has that actually ever worked for anyone?
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Justified: What a weird ending to the episode as Raylan gets Shakespearean with his father in his old hiding space which turned out to be as empty as Al Capone's vault. Just a weird departure for a show with about a month left before going off the air.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: At the beginning of the season TJ asked Nany which of the guys was going to be her partner and she mentioned it could have well been half of them. For the inevitable next Rivals season, there are just as many possibilities and it looks like you can add Nia and Sarah to that list. Of course Sarah made the right decision, you eliminate a strong team right before the finals. If Bananas or Leroy think they deserve to be in the finals, they should have won the last challenge, and they definitely should not have lost it.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar: zit seems like I say this every season, but the show really needs to bring back the Reward Challenge, with only one challenge per episode we get way too much filler, like watching monkeys having sex.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

Hindsight: So Lolly, who was okay with Becca hooking up Kevin, now thinks its is an unforgivable act because a Lolly in another timeline shunned future Becca for it. Chicks, man, chicks. What a depressing way to end a season, Becca pretty much screwed everything up, her future husband ended up marrying someone else, her brother, and possibly father, are going to jail, she ruined her friendship with Lolly a whole decade earlier. Really, they only one whose life improved was her ex-husband who managed to sell some paintings. Then the ending was pretty vague, clearly she went into the elevator hoping to be transported back to current day. The musical cue of Numb would have us to believe that there was some time traveling involving involved but I would be surprised if she ends up back in 2015. Of course I would be more surprised if there is a second two. But if there is I would guess Becca wakes up in a different year, maybe 2005. The Killers! Jack Johnson!! Gorillaz!!! A sane Kanye West!!!! Sure I'd watch that.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: This is beginning to be one of those show where the promos are more entertaining than the actual show. Last week they made it seem like Martha was going to confront Clarke, this week she realized that the spying equipment was inadvertently brought in by her, but she never ended up confronting Clarke about it. And wasn't Paige supposed to confront her parents this week? Are they really going to drag this out for the rest of the season?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Odd to have a glorified clip show at this point in the second season. And did we really learn that it was Red who hired Tom to get close to Lizzy instead of Berlin like we were told earlier? I guess that is why that interaction they had before Tom disappeared was weird.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: Finally, at long last, gender equality has become a reality now that a dude has actually been crowned King of the Nerds for the very first time. I was rooting for Kaitlyn, but it is hard to justify having a King of the Nerds be someone who works with NASA and cannot get a sun question right that even I guessed correctly.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/8/15

Once Upon a Time: Seriously, no one noticed the smoke monster slither out of the magic hat? And if Mr. Gold is such an evil genius, why wait at the city line for a sea hag that in no way should help you get back into Storybrooke when you could just stowaway in the truck of the car? But when your adversaries are dumb enough to believe someone stole your phone and just happened to call you out of nowhere, you look like a genius next to them.
You can download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Last week I suggested there will end up being something nefarious about Alexandra, but watching this episode I am beginning to think that Rick and company will be the antagonists to the city folk, not the other way around. And why did no one offer Carl a haircut too?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD: I was hoping through Skye's transformation she would find a new hairstyle, but alas, it is for not. overall kind of a meh episode even with the Hydra take down and the new Raina. Is it possible they can get Agent Carter into a time machine and inserted into this show?
You can download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes

Justified: So Limehouse did sell out Ava and yet Boyd does not irrationally kill her like Dewey (aside from a brief question from Raylan last week, does anyone care that he has been missing since the first episode; Dewey deserves justice). Boyd cannot possibly trust her anymore (which is why he gave her a gun with no bullets), so I wonder if he will eventually (try to) get rid of her once he knows for sure what Raylan is doing.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Welcome back Nany, who wastes no time getting into her first fight. Whoever decided to put her in slo-mo while Bananas puts a fist in his mouth deserves a Emmy for that editing.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar: I was racking my brain trying to think of a time when an entire tribe was blindsided by a vote where an Idol was not involved. And what a horrible move, Will went from the swing vote and in control of the destiny of his tribe to the least liked person in the tribe that no one can trust. This show is at its best when it is filled with morons and this season has its fair share of them.
You can download Survivor: White Collar vs. Blue Collar vs. No Collar on iTunes.

Hindsight: You gotta love any show that starts off an episode with a Toad the Wet Sprocket deep cut. Though I do not understand why Becca just does not stop Kevin right away, she know what it does to her relationship with Lolly and it is clearly not something that lasts because she end up with Andy. But kudos to Lolly for deciphering that Letters to Cleo song.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: After two and a half season, are we finally going to get two plot twists that should have happened at the very least last season? The promo sure makes it looks like Paige will finally learn about her parents' double life and that one of the Jennings will actually get caught after too many close calls.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Television has been littered with countless characters that should have been killed off a lot earlier than they did which range from just rolling your eyes whenever they walk on screen to completely ruining a great show, something that will forever be known as "The Brody." Tom is currently closer to the eye-rolling portion of the spectrum right now, but the show should have really killed him at the end of last season, he serves no purpose now.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: It became pretty obvious that I would have no chance on this show. During that name as many nerd culture things as you could, I probably only would have done good in the movies and Mario Kart categories. Though I would have crushed the Stratigo Nerd Off. C'mon, you always put the flag in the front row if you are playing someone smart.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 2/8/15

Super Bowl: I refuse to recognize cheaters as winners because cheaters should never win and winners do not cheat. And lets be honest, the true winners of the Super Bowl was the Green Bay Packers. Seriously, very few people can outshine one of the greatest living humans Anna Kendrick in her own movie trailer. I am definitely not ready for Clay Matthews's jelly, but I cannot wait to see the full performance.


Shameless: Did someone forget to tell Showtime that the Super Bowl was on? And it ended up being the best episode of the short season so far and one of the best of the series. But I guess in the age of DVR and On Demand, I guess watching the first run episode does not really matter much for premium channels who are not selling ads. As long as the viewers watch sometime. But anyway. What a great episode for Frank in his warped The Hangover type plot of trying to figure out what happened to his insurance money. That final reveal with the prosthetics my have been the most "shameless" scene in the show's history. Now with Sheila gone and his money gone, it looks like Frank is back to square one. Does he move in with Sammi at this point?

Pretty Little Liars: Rosewood really has a never ending well of absurdly attractive lesbians. But can they bring back Mona already? The show is kind of boring without her. Because much like Allison, I just do not believe Mona is dead. Hopefully it does not take Mona four years to pop back up in town.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Agent Carter: As entertaining as the show has been it is disappointing that could not figure out how to make use of Dum Dum Duggan more often. Maybe if their is a season two, maybe Peggy can take up his offer of joining the Howling Commandos for next season.
You can download Marvel's Agent Carter om iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I cannot comment on this episode because I will undoubtedly offend people with my thoughts.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Justified: I could not believe they killed of Dewie Crowe in the season premiere (that really puts a crimp into my Dewie / Dickie spin-off) but Choo Choo may end up being an almost worthy substitute. But that mask scene just showed that Raylan is still the best character on television.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: What a gutwrenching elimination, on one hand Johnny Bananas wore out his welcome five to ten seasons ago, on the other, Nana has quickly closing in on GOAT status. At least they have that silly ex-ile twist this season (is this the first time The Challenge stole something from Survivor? And now that I think about it, if The Challenge now allows Are You the One castmates, how about recruiting Survivor contestants too). If the show is scripted there is no doubt those two are the ones that make it back into the game. The stupid web show may end up being more entertaining than the actual show.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Hindsight: Why was Becca telling the college students how great the next R.E.M. album is? Would that not be New Adventures In Hi-Fi? C'mon Becca, it is one thing to spoil the future, but is another to give people false hope of the future. But she made up for it with a great use of Nightswimming at the of episode, one of my favorite songs ever recorded.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: Sure, this is still one of the best shows on television, but something needs to happen. The show is still living off close calls every couple episodes, be it the CIA almost catching the Jennings, or Paige discovering what her parents do, but they still have not pulled the trigger on either. Interesting that NBC already beat The Americans to the punch on the second point creating a show where Russians spies tell their son about themselves (or so the previews would have me believe, I did not bother to watch Intelligence). Really the best part of this season so far was the one aspect of the show that chance: Nina in Russian prison. Why did they hold that storyline out of the premiere? Well, the second best, Stan telling Olag that if he if going to shoot him, he will have to shoot him in the back. What a "G" move.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Usually I prefer more serialized moments of television shows, but I really do not care at all about the fire Lizzie was in as a kid. And the more they talk about it, the more confused I get. So now her dad (or who she thought was her dad because it is still very plausible that Red is really her father) died in that fire. But did he not die last season when Red smothered him with a pillow? Meh, just give me the Blacklister of the week for this show. I do not care at all with the backstory.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: One thing I noticed this week is there is copious amounts of cleavage this season. In previous season the girls wore a lot of t-shirts with nerd slogans on them, but there are a lot of tank tops this time around. Between that and all the partial lesbians running around it is clear the boys do not have a chance of winning yet again this season. But at least the challenges are silly as ever. Why was there a sumo wrestler in the Nerd Off? Who knows, but it was entertaining.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

The Ten Best Television Shows of 2013-14

For my list of best shows of the year, I only consider shows that air a majority of their episodes during the past year so I did not consider the most recent season of Mad Men which stupidly was split into half season with the remaining episodes not airing until spring of 2015. Here are the ten best shows that aired their episodes in the same twelve month periods.

1. Hannibal, Season 2 (NBC)

2. Justified, Season 5 (FX)

3. Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey (FOX)

4. Masters of Sex, Season 1 (Showtime)

5. The Blacklist, Season 1 (NBC)

6. Orphan Black, Season 2 (BBC America)

7. The Americans, Season 2 (FX)

8. Penny Dreadful, Season 1 (Showtime)

9. Parenthood, Season 5 (NBC)

10. Sons of Anarchy, Season 6 (FX)


And for fun, here are the shows that had the most Quotes and Songs of the Week from the past year.

Quotes of the Week:
Justified – 8
The Bridge – 6
Mad Men – 5
Homeland – 4
Shameless – 3
The Big Bang Theory – 2
Masters of Sex – 2
Once Upon a Time – 2
Orphan Black – 2
Penny Dreadful – 2
Pretty Little Liars – 2
Survivor – 2
The Challenge – 1
Community - 1
How I Met Your Mother – 1
King of the Nerds – 1
Nashville – 1
NFL Draft – 1
The Neighbors – 1
Ray Donovan – 1
The Sing-Off – 1
Tyrant – 1
Under the Dome – 1

Songs of the Week:
How I Met Your Mother – 6
Pretty Little Liars – 5
The Goldbergs – 4
The Americans – 3
Nashville – 3
Ray Donovan – 3
The Blacklist – 2
Growing Up Fisher – 2
Orphan Black - 2
Revenge – 2
Suburgatory – 3
The Big Bang Theory – 1
The Bridge – 1
Californication – 1
The Colbert Report – 1
Community - 1
Crisis – 1
Dominion – 1
House of Lies – 1
Mad Men – 1
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. – 1
The Millers – 1
Perception – 1
Sons of Anarchy – 1
Tyrant – 1

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/18/14

Once Upon a Time: C’mon, you cannot have a Marty McFly reference and not have Emma’s hand start to disappear after she keeps her parents from meeting. And I thought after they made a big deal about Charming falling in love with Snow White after seeing the ring on her finger, I thought when Emma found the ring, she would put it on and her father would fall in love with her kind of like when Marty’s mom tried to have sex with him. But that is one of those only in the eighties type storyline.

It seemed pretty obvious to me the unnamed prisoner would end up being what fairytale property the show would exploit next season. Being that she was slightly ethnic, I was thinking Jasmine from Aladdin except Once Upon a Time: Wonderland went there and I doubt the writers will want to return there after it bombed massively. I was way off; she turned out to be Maid Marian and will just be a catalyst to turn Regina slightly evil again. The big surprise to me was that Emma told Rumplstiltkin that his son dies in the future and he does not do anything about it (that we know of yet), he just drinks his forgetful drink and makes a funny joke. So Neil may actually stay dead even though it does not seem like Rumplestiltkin to let that stand.

So I wrong the person that Emma brought back from the past would predict where the show is going next season (it turns out the actress has been on the show in a previous season, but just did not leave much of a mark), the actual tease for season four turned out to be, um, I had to look it up, Princess Elsa from Frozen? Alrighty. Have they really run out of fairytales to exploit, they have to do one that is not even a year old?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: A couple weeks ago a hot blonde approached Don saying she knew him but he had no clue who she was. I originally thought that was his “niece” up until she started to hit on her. I still assumed the resemblance was not a coincidence. The niece actually showed up this week for the first time in a long while, which of course make me think of her doppelganger a couple weeks ago. Was the other more together the idealist version of her than Don remembered and the knocked up hippie was the reality? Granted that juxtaposition does not really work because Don did not actually see the new “niece” but that could be because he can still remember her the way she was. Not that any of this mattered because Ginsberg cut off his nipple to keep the computer from communicating with him. What the frack!?!
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Revenge: After a pleasurable, albeit guilty type of pleasurable, first season, this show hit a sever sophomore slump due in part to the lack of takedowns. I also blamed the lack of enjoyment of the inclusion of Aiden. Every ten episodes or so he would have a spat with Emily, leave the Hamptons, but would always find his way back after a episode or two. After two seasons they finally pulled the trigger on Aiden who I am guessing will not be returning from death anytime soon, unlike someone else.

The show teased that someone would die and with Aiden out of the way halfway through, I figured that was it. Nope, it looks like Conrad will join Aiden in, well, wherever those two may be going. But the second death was not the shocker, this time it was the murderer that was the surprise, the not so dead David Clarke. The show has teased this a couple times, but it would always go nowhere.

So this opens a whole new can of worms. Where has David been all this time? Why chose this very moment to kill Conrad? Who else knows? Nolan? Was he helping Emily from the shadows (aside from providing her with the infinity box) all this time? Will he come out of the shadows now that his name is cleared? How will Emily react to him still being alive (she just wasted a decade of her life avenging his death that did not actually happen)? And maybe most importantly, why was this not the finale for last season, or even season one? We really wasted two worthless seasons to get to this point.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Shows that have a stellar first season but cannot stick the landing have me a bit worried moving forward. Call it the Lost Paradox. And The Blacklist actually made me think of a worst case: The Killing. At the end of the first season, we leaned that the mayoral candidate did the killing. But wait in the last scene the evidence against him turned out to be tampered with. I had the same reaction with Berlin, Red kills him, but wait, that was not really Berlin. Worse, I say the ending a mile away, when the other passengers were saying “He cut of his hand” I originally did think they meant Berlin cut off his own hand. And I guy we are now to assume Lizzie is Berlin’s daughter, right, and Red was the one that stole her from him?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: It was a little convenient that a room full of bikers and mobsters did not start shooting at each other. But I guess we are supposed to spend the summer thinking Castle is dead despite being the titular character. Now that Kate’s mother’s murder is closed, this will probably be the start of the next lengthy case the duo undertakes.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I thought the show stalled out a bit after the Captain America premiered but that was a thoroughly entertaining finale. It seemed pretty obvious to me that Joss Weadon himself wrote those Colson / Fury scenes. I am really glad they never even tried to turn Ward good again, but I have a feeling that there will be a Loki in Thor 2 situation sometime in season three. I hope they instead use him as more of a Hannibal Lecter situation if they do bring the character back. I just do not think there is a way they could ever redeem Ward. My only disappointment with the finale (other than they let Ward live) is we did not get any more information about Skye’s origins other than her father is still alive and he has a thick bloody hand.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I had to laugh at Trish saying she was a good person in the game after the blow up with Kass. She was so unliked that someone rather quit the game than be around her for fear she would start punching her. With or without her, this is a lackluster final four. Woooooo is the only person worth rooting for but he will probably be out first unless he wins Immunity.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

Nashville: So Will actually admitted to his wife that he was gay, unfortunately for him, it looks like his reality show producers were listening. But it is about time this news came out, it hopefully will make the character interesting for once. The rest of the episode was pretty meh for a finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I would actually watch a show where Sheldon rides the rails.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Nothing better than trivia week on The Challenge, T.J. clearly enjoys it two. Australians speaking Dutch had to be my favorite answer.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Will says he knows how to set a trap, I wonder if he is actually using Jack as the bait (as seen in the season premiere and the next promo). You can also add Hannibal having Mason feed Will’s dogs with his own face to the most disturbing scenes list.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 5/10/14

Quote of the Week: Third times a charms the Browns are hoping. 2007: Brady Quinn picked 22nd. 2012: Brandon Weeden picked 22nd. 2014 Johnny Football picked 22nd. Aren’t they due? (Chris Berman, 2014 NFL Draft)

Song of the Week: Type of Way – Rich Homie Quan (Suburgatory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Start of the Johnny Football Era in Cleveland: All winter Johnny Manziel has been linked to the Browns at the number four pick. You saw it in every mock draft until a reporter said the Browns had more of a chance drafting him at number four than Johnny Football. Then the mock draft all switched to a glorious dream scenario, premiere wide receiver Sammy Watkins at four and quarterback Teddy Bridgwater at 26, which the Browns fleeced from the Colts for Trent Richardson. Watkins would instantly make Cleveland the most feared receiver corp. in the league along with Josh Gordon who broke records last season even with Brandon Weeden and two backups throwing to him.

It was too good to be true because this is Cleveland, nothing ever goes right. Except there was Watkins at four for the picking, everything was falling into space. Except in true Browns fashion they passed on Watkins trading the pick to the Bills for the 9th pick. Sure the Browns also get their first round pick next year that will likely be a top 15 pick as the Bills are the only tam this millennium to not make the playoffs (even the hapless Browns bade it once during the Kelly Holcomb era). But the Browns did use that pick on a Cornerback to pair with Joe Haden, though not a fearsome pair as a potential Watkins / Gordon tandem could have been.

The Browns still had the Colts pick. But then the 22nd rolled around. In the past decade, the Browns have moved up to that very number to draft Brady Quinn and Brandon Weeden. Oh no. A trade is in. It is the Browns. They picked Johnny Football, a cannot miss pick who inexplicably fell like Quinn and Weeden did. Making things worse, it was reported that after spending $100,000 on a report that said Bridgewater was the best quarterback in this draft, new owner was stopped by a homeless man who told him to draft Manziel.

Who the frack takes the advice of a homeless man? He is homeless because he makes horrible decisions. And now I have to root for someone who looks like Brick Heck and is a slightly better Tim Tebow for the next two years. As Bill Simmons would say, God hates Cleveland.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Flirty Dancing” Baby Daddy, Wednesday at 8:30 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: The Soundmaker EP – Rodrigo y Gabriela (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Turn Blue - The Black Keys

New DVD Release of the Week: Eastbound & Down: Season 4

Video of the Week: I have not watched anything on Fox since the series season three finale of Arrested Development with the exception of football (I have been watching Cosmos but I get away with my Fox ban by watching the National Geographic re-airing). I stopped watching Fox because I had come to the realization that everything I watched on the channel got canceled after one season. Looking back on the last eight years, New Girl is the only show on Fox that I may have watched that got multiple seasons.

But for the first time since my ban, I am in a quandary about actually lifting my Fox ban and that reason is Gotham the upcoming Batman show that is not actually going to feature Batman. Sure the last show set in Gotham that did not actually feature Batman, Birds of Prey, did not go well, but the new show is being created by Bruno Heller, the guy who gave us Rome, one of the best television shows of the past decade. But on the flipside, a mustache-less dude from The O.C. stars as Jim Gordon and Jada Pinkett Smith plays a gangster. And the trailer looks good even though I spend most of it waiting for someone to punch Gordon and tell him, “Welcome to Gotham (expletive deleted)!”

In other networks I have a ban on, I have not watched The CW since the series finale of Everybody Hates Chris but they are also getting in the comic book game that is making me question lifting my ban. I once swore never to watch The CW until they brought back Veronica Mars. Well something called The CW Seed is doing a Veronica Mars spinoff and creator Rob Thomas is creating a show based on a comic book. Sure that comic book is something called iZombie which stars Tinkerbell. The sort of network is also creating a show based on The Flash featuring Tom Cavanaugh, who starred as Ed Stevens on the show of the same first name, one of my favorite television characters ever, as the non titular character. Add these three shows along with NBC’s Constantine and DC is finally catching up to Marvel who also bolstered it’s line up adding and Agent Carter show to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (not to mention its five Netflix shows coming next year).


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Blacklist, Monday at 10:00 on NBC: When it was announced that The Blacklist would get the coveted post-The Voice timeslot, it seemed obvious it could get a second season because even the dud that was Revolution renewed. The question was going to be, is it any good. After twenty-one episodes, the answer is a resounding yes. Now all it has to do is stick the landing (unlike, say, Lost, whose first season finale sucked after a stellar debut season). James Spader chews up the scene like no one else does and Megan Boone has been surprisingly efficient as Spader’s handler. If The Blacklist can stick the landing, it can be the best procedural hybrid on network television since Veronica Mars.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/4/14

Orphan Black: I would not have a problem if an episode this season features only Allison’s community theater play.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: Well that was a plot twist I did not see coming, Snow White enacting the curse, not the Wicked Witch. Granted Snow and Charming sharing half a heart was a very cheap way to keep him alive. I wonder if that is how they are able to resurrect Bae. And I have to wonder if Sleeping Beauty was one of the flying monkeys that got zapped, once everyone got their memories back, no one seemed to care if that was a possibility.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Resurrection: As Tom cried over Rachael, I jokingly wanted to say to the screen, dude, she can always get resurrected again. Granted I did not think they would do it ten minutes later. If she came back so quickly, where did Caleb go? I am guessing since he is a bad person, he had to go somewhere else. And it finally took a grand exodus of the dead for the Langston family to realize their mother / wife may be back. I knew she was back when we first met her lover. After a meandering first season, hopefully with the influx of dead, things pick up next week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

Mad Men: There is nothing more depressing than the first Betty Draper sighting of the season reminding everyone she is for some reason still part of the cast even though Betty just sticks out like a sore thumb. Okay, Don’s panic attack while going back the first time in about a year was slightly more depressing. But we did learn what exactly was Don’s status, half the partners thought he was just on permanent leave, half thought he was fired but stayed on the payroll because it would cost too much to buy him out. So Don is back in, but it sounds like he will be stuck in Lane’s old office, probably the first person since he died there, and has to report to Lew. Yeah, I put the over/under before Lew quits at four episodes.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: So the FBI teamed up with the kidnappers finally. I have a feeling it will go even further next week when the FBI agent asks the kidnappers help save her sister.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Holy Allen Alda sighting! I forgot he was even part of this show because I do not believe we have seen him yet this year. We did get to see more of his cabal and I get the sense he is part of some illuminati type group. They also brought back Red killing Lizzie’s dad except we still have no clue why so we are left to still assume he is her real dad. Apparently we will start getting some answers this week as it is the finale episode (dramatic pause) before the finale. Seriously promo monkeys, stop doing that, if you must, just tell me how many episodes are left this season, do not give me a number and have to add one for the finale.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: So Phil was actually behind TAHITI. Huh. So the memory wipe was hopefully to stem the side effects. So what side effects will Skye get? Or will she not get any because she did not die first. Or maybe because she is an object of unknown origin. But the show seems to be back to spinning its wheels after ramping up to the Captain America movie. With only two episodes left in the season, it should be ramping up for the finale, but it feels as if we have already reached the climax of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I never understand why anyone actually buys food at the action knowing there would be some sort of advantage offered at some point. I do believe this was the first time three contestants saved their money. Of course Probst made up some rule on the fly and of course Tony got the black rock and of course he was able to find the Idol. Yawn. And next week looks worse when they may target Tony who we know has no chance of going home because he can play the stupid special powers Idol after the votes were read.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: So Henry tried breaking and entering last week and Paige tried her hand at forgery this week. Is this show just an allegory of how teenagers are like international spies? But anyway. I had to look up Annelise to see if we have actually met her yet or if her dealings with Philip was before the show started. Apparently she was in the episode where the Commies bugged the Secretary of Defense.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville:
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I had to laugh when Johnny Bananas was being so appalled that Jordan would shout down a woman when ten minute earlier we saw Bananas gleefully talking about bowling over Cara Maria.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Sure I said the same thing with Beverly, but I have a sinking suspicion that Freddie is still alive. And not only is she alive, Will actually saved her from certain death. I do not think it is a coincidence that Hannibal was sitting patiently in his clear suit after Alana told the duo that Freddie thought they were working in tandem as the Chesapeake Ripper (people who think this tend not to walk around free for very long aside from Sully who hightailed it out of town). So Will either has her secured in his basement or told her to lay low until he outs Hannibal and is content to let Hannibal think he killed Freddie.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.