Previewing Shameless: Season Four

When we last saw the Gallagher family of Shameless, Frank did the first unselfish thing in his life when he took the fall for his son who robbed his foster family. Oh yeah and her learned if he continues to drink alcohol, he will die. Also Lip was the first in the family to graduate, Ian enlisted, and Fiona actually landed a stable job and broke up with Jimmy. The last we saw of Jimmy was sailing, presumably, off to his death. But as I always say, no one is truly dead on television until we see a body (and even then I can still be suspicious). Oh yeah, and Kev knocked up his mother-in-law at the request of Veronica.

The new season starts off how it always seems to do, with Frank not been seen since the end of the previous season (it is mentioned that Fiona has been on the job for three months, so about that much time has passed). But it does not take much time for Frank to find himself back at the Gallagher doorstep somehow even worse than we left him when he learned that drinking alcohol is eroding his throat and any more will kill him (in true Shameless tradition, he does find other ways to get alcohol into his bloodstream other than through the throat; and it is not pretty; you have been warned).

Not that Fiona cares that much if Frank lives or dies because thanks to her new job; she is now creeping up on the poverty line. This will undoubtedly not be a smooth transition. Most which will probably come thanks to her new relationship with her boss who definitely comes from a different family (as in one that can afford Bears season tickets; while Carl shows what people in their tax bracket think of Jay Cutler’s new contract with an eye catching t-shirt).

While Frank makes it back to casa de Gallagher, two members of the clan do not set foot in the house, at least in the first couple episodes. Ian is still MIA after enlisting while Lip is adjusting to being a small fish in a big pond after cakewalking menial Chicago public schools both inside the classroom and out. Kev also thinks he is on his way above the poverty line too after the owner of the bar dies and leaves it to him, but there turns out to be a complication or three when it comes to the pregnancy he caused. And it would not be Shameless without a major bombshell and the end of episode has a pretty big one (hint: the last line spoken is the episode’s title: My Eldest Daughter).

Shameless airs Sundays at 9:00 on Showtime. If you cannot wait five days or want to give it a shot to see if it is worth ordering Showtime, you can actually watch the albeit censored version of the premiere below:

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/14/13

Shameless: So it looks like Steve may really be sleeping with the fishes. Granted it is hard to believe he really is dead without actually seeing a body. And then Fiona wastes the money for her on plastic cups. Alrighty. I wonder just what her and Kev plan on doing with them.

Mad Men: Wow that was a boring two hours. In lieu of discussing what happened because I may fall asleep at my keyboard, I will instead just post a power ranking of facial hair at Sterling Cooper Draper Price:
1. Harry Crane
2. Ginsburg
3. Don Draper
4. Bert Cooper
5. Stan Rizzo
6. Roger Sterling
7. Ken Cosgrove
8. The Annoying New Guy
9. Betty Draper
10. Pete Campbell
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

House of Lies: I did not see the team fracture like that. I guess it should not be too surprising that Clyde would jump ship even though he almost showed a conscience earlier this season, but for Doug to not follow his mentor was shocking.

The Voice: I pretty much summed up my thoughts on the week, and the entire Blind Audition in the Power Rankings, but I got to thinking that since then like bringing back people to audition again, maybe they should put even those who do not get picked on iTunes and whoever sells the most downloads will get an automatic invitation to the auditions next season. I have a feeling Jane Smith would have charted higher than a vast majority of the people that did make a team (which may be why the show currently does not do this. But anyway. Here my favorite performance of the week (and second of the season): Caroline Glaser.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Dallas: I have made light of I’m sorry your parent dies sex, even on this show, but I’m sorry your father was responsible for killing your unborn children sex is much more disturbing.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Another nerve racking episode. How dare the brolliance target Andrea? Serves them right to waste an Immunity Idol. Really dumb move by Douchebag #1 to give his to Malcolm. Not dumb enough to be an automatic inclusion whenever I update my list of The Dumbest Survivor Constants Ever list, but he will definitely be in consideration. C’mon Douchebag #, who cares if they did vote out Malcolm, Now you are still in the minority without a safely net and have to win every Immunity Challenge to make to the finals without fail (or hope they target Malcolm and Eddie first, then go on a winning streak).

I am surprised that everyone keeps trying to turn Dawn thinking she is on the bottom. For most of the game, I have assumed the top of that alliance was Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, and Philip. But two weeks in a row, they approached her, and two weeks, she used that to help her alliance take out the right person. And even though Douchebag #1 made a boneheaded decision, Douchebag #2 just got played by Andrea fiddle. Between this is his inability to realize his four person hot alliance was less than the six ugly people alliance, he is eligible for the Dumb list too. Serious, what happens if he does not tip Andrea’s name? Do they really vote for Malcolm who uses Douchebag #1’s Idol and Andrea?

And what was Philip doing tipping his hand? Sure Boston Rob got rid of anyone who he thought may turn on him, but he never let them know until he wrote their name down on the parchment. Unless Philip did that to make the brolliance think they were voting for Malcolm to make Michael and easy vote, but I am not sure he is that devious. Now Malcolm knows Philip is gunning for him and Philip knows Malcolm knows. Now the question is do the Favorite feel comfortable now the Idol has been flushed and put all their votes Malcolm next week or the still split just in case? Cochran is an overthinker so he has to know there is another Idol that can be in play and Andrea is clearly paranoid after last episode. Oh yeah, and Dan may be going crazy next week. But even if she pulls herself out of the game, the Favorite can split the votes three ways for a tie to flush out the Idol and vote out the other guy in a revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Americans: Two shocking deaths in two weeks. This week may have been more shocking because I thought they would use Gregory to continue the wedge between Elizabeth and Philip. Almost as shocking was Elizabeth going soft by actually letting Gregory walk out the door alive. I was a bit disappointed that Gregory somehow managed to survive the shootout at least for a little bit, long enough for Stan to ask him a question or two in the hospital.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Zombie-Community does a musical puppet show. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: Holy Wonderfalls reference! Too bad Gretchen did not run into her old high school friend Jaye. Or least her Doppelganger. I am just going to assume that Jaye has spent the last decade in a mental institution and will not be released until a Kickstarter movie gets made.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/7/13

Revenge: Booooooo!!! How dare they kill off Rebecca Logan? Seriously Creepy Initiative Dude, why keep her alive six weeks only to kill her? This show really trying my patience. C’mon, they kill of Rebecca Logan and Charlotte is still around, slapping people at parties?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Clearly the scariest zombie the popped up on screen this episode was the commercial for the walking corpse that is The Killing. Truly horrifying that the show is returning for a third season. But anyway. After giving Andrea her own episode two weeks ago they actually killed her off. Good riddance. I guess it was artistically cool that she basically went out like her sister, even by her own hadn again, but it is hard to care when you have never cared about the character. This leaves only five original actors from the first season. Who would have guessed Carol would outlast everyone? But it looks like they are going to get an influx of new red shirts for next season when they literally bussed in a bunch of old folks and children who were too weak to fight from Woodbury. Yeah, that will turn out well. Much like Peter, Bjorn, and John, I don’t really care about the young folks taking about the young stuff. And I don’t care about the old folds talking about the old style too. And why go back to the prison at all?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: They are not really going to kill off Steve are they? Not that I would mind that much, I am beginning to think the show would have been better had he stayed on the lamb. And who knew Frank had it in him to take the fall for Carl. Did not see that coming.

The Voice: There is nothing I hate more then when people whine about semi-professionals being on the show because they think those contestants have an unfair advantage. I watch the show because the semi-professional makes the show much better than the armature competitions out there. And the unfair advantage argument does not hold because the three most successful people to ever have auditioned failed to get anyone to turn a chair. Last season one hit wonder Cupid and Christopher Trousdale, who sold a million records as part of Dream Street went home early. And this week Julie Roberts, who has a gold record, could not even get her acquaintance Blake Shelton to turn around. Personally I am disjointed that I have not recognized any contestant this season. Where is the token Warped Tour Chick for the season (granted Cassadee Pope did not show until the last week last season.

One complaint I do have had about The Voice is that it lacked a true rock judge (Adam Levine is more a pop-RnB guy even if his band has a guitar player). Maybe Shakira will fill that box. This week she picked up Brandon Rouch who looks like he fronted a band from Seattle twenty years ago as well as returning rock singer Garrett Garnder (who almost did not get anyone to turn around two straight seasons until Sharika pushed her button at the last second). And who would have guessed Seven Nation Army would become the standard from The White Stripes library? This is the third straight season someone perform the song. I would have guessed We’re Going to Be Friends would be their song most likely to become a standard.

Oddly they cut down the Blind Auditions by three hours this season, with only twelve contestants per team, down from sixteen last season but back to season two numbers. This makes me wonder if they are already getting rid of the useless Knockout Round. But does that also mean are they getting rid of The Steal because I do not see them having seven or eight contestants from each team in the Live Round. My guess is they will have the Battle Round with a Steal (Shakira already mentioned stealing people), the Knockout Round (which hopefully they introduce another steal) with four or five contestants per team making it to the Live Rounds.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Dallas: When the babies flat lined last week, I did not give much thought to it because assumed they would revive them by this week. Wow, they actually let the twins die. I not sure if that was the right decision because the storylines might be much better tying Christopher and Pamela forever. But in the short term, it will be interesting if Pamela will eventually find out her father was behind the explosion.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: I knew from the beginning that Castle’s imagination was getting the best of him by thinking his across the street neighbor killed his girlfriend, but I have to admit by the time Beckett went over there, I starting thinking that maybe he was a murderer. And that was a great reveal that the whole thing was an giant birthday present. Which was a good thing because the other plot was a bit boring.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Justified: A good episode, but it seemed to be lacking something as a season finale. The scene with Raylan telling Augustine he would not leave the limo alive, even saying he had not left the limo yet as he exited it himself to like Sonny Tonin gun down Augustine was classic Raylan, and would have been a great moment for a middle of the season episode, but I wanted more. And it was weird that a season about getting Drew Thomson the finale lacked Drew Thompson, and the reason the FBI wanted Drew Thomson, Theo Tonin skipped town to the extradition free country of Tunisia. I wonder if Alan Arkin was unavailable all season and if this season would have been any different had he would had made an appearance.

So no Drew Thompson and no Ellen May (also conspicuously absent: Johnny Crowder who I am surprised made it out of the season alive) but Boyd and Ava had to spend the episode trying to clean up Ellen May’s confession, ultimately failing. I do not think it was a wise decision for the funeral director to let Boyd to stay out of jail, that will come back to bite him next season. Hopefully Ava gets sent to a co-ed prison where she can bunk with Dewey Crowe and Dickey Bennett.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: When I compiled my list of The 25 Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list fout seasons ago, number one was a no brainer to the point of being the most obvious number one of any list I have ever compiled: Erik giving up his Immunity Necklace. Though Brandon Hantz came close, Erik would still grab the top spot if I were ever to update the list. So it was quite amazing that the rest of this season rested in the hands of the ice cream scooper. This led to one of the most heart racing Tribal Councils in recent memory as you tried to figure out which way Erik (and to a lesser extent Sherri who took a defeatist attitude at tribal council).

Thankfully he chose wisely because had he gone with the alpha male alliance, it would have been a slow slog to the finale as the vote out their former Favorites tribemates. Instead now you have a solid alliance of four (Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, Philip), their lackeys (Brenda, Erik), two people completely on the outs (Sheri, Michael), and what’s left of the alpha male alliance (Malcolm, Douchebag #1, Douchebag #2) who would seem like the first three to go, except they have two Immunity Idols between them. So the solid alliance needs to keep Sheri with them AND recruit Michael (I told Philip it was a huge mistake to let Corrine keep Michael over Julia) to have enough people to split the votes. And even then, what if the two people the split the vote with both use an Idol? And what if the two lackeys and the Fans team up with the final Alpha Male Alliance member. So not only was the fate of the season in Erik’s hands once this season, it may not be the only vote where Erik becomes the deciding vote. God help us all.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: Wait, Hayley grows up to be Justine Bateman? What?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I find it interesting that during the Ho Hey sing-along, Deakon chose to shout the former instead of the latter at Rayna. And with all the interaction with Maddie this episode (he even told her she looked more like her mother than her father, who is not even her real father), I wonder when exactly is Deakon going to find out that she is his daughter.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Americans: Before I talk about this episode, for those who watched via DVR and had the final eight minutes cut off, you can re-watch the episode at fxnetworks.com until May 15.

I still think of the Jennings children the same way I do Chris Brody and Bobby Draper (not at all) but I did love the daughter’s reaction to the potential big news (mom’s too old to be pregnant) and the son’s history report (America won). But it was a nice tension breaker in what turned out to being the shocking plot twist that Philip inadvertently killed Stan’s partner. A real game changer of an episode.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Uh oh, Allison has some Brie competition with the arrival of Larson to the show. But it was very disappointing that did not have a Brie off.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: I feared with the serious subject manner that Bryan Fuller’s trademark wit would somehow get lost in the adaptation, but those fears were put to rest when Lawrence Fishburn yelled at someone to use the ladies room so he would continue to yell at someone without being bothered. And Dr. Lecter and his patient was pretty humorous too.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/30/13

Once Upon a Time: The scene back from the last commercial break may have been the most absurd thing ever aired on network television. First off you had Pinocchio die from a taser, c’mon, how does someone made of wood be harmed by a little electricity? But of course before he died, he was able to crawl out of the police station utter a couple nonsensical words before going to the big wood chipper in the sky. But since he died trying to help someone (and failing at that), the blue fairy was able to turn him into a real boy (again). And by real boy, an actual ten year old who apparently has no memory of the past twenty years. So Pinocchio gets to live even though he helped no one. In fact they are in more danger because of him.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: What a weird way to wrap up the foster brother storyline. Why not to tell Amanda your plan the whole time?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: I guess it is surprising Merle made it this long. He probably should have never made it off the roof. Or out of Woodbury. Or in a prison with Michonne. But it became pretty clear that it is a worse punishment not to die, because instead of putting a bullet in Merle’s head, he sentenced him to a life of a zombie. That may have been the most evil of all of the Governor’s evil deeds.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: So Jimmy has had two years of med school and only one more to go? Since when did becoming a doctor only take three years? I thought it took ten.

The Voice: If there was any question to if the new judges could successfully replace the former ones, it was answered when Shakira pulled out her English to Country dictionary. And Usher had a very entertaining moment when he called Nashville a state despite being born in the same state where the city resides. Even though the coaching panel turned out to be solid, I was a bit worried with the talent on the stage after the first episode because all the contestants were petty lackluster including the weakest four chair audition in the Morgan Sisters. Things turned around the next day (no pun intended, okay, maybe a little) with two artists that deserved all the coach’s button pushes in Midas Whale and Sarah Simmons, both who ended up on Adam’s team making him the early frontrunner (not to mention the Michael Jackson backup singer he picked up a day earlier who I found overrated; Judith Hill is no Amanda Brown). And they really amped up the sob stories this season between the dead bandmates and dead children (made worse by no one turning around). Of course there some absurd sob stories. When you look like a cross between Amanda Seyfried and Emma Stone and the worst thing that has happened to you is getting teased about a snaggletooth, you probably should not be singing Mean.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice using the widget at right.


How I Met Your Mother: I would have liked this episode much better if the chopped off the last five minutes. The only way the ending could have been more depressing would be if they played a Ryan Adams song during it. And no, I will not tell you the ingredients of The Scooter McGavin alcoholic beverage that I created back in college because I am paranoid someone with plagiarize it. That and I may have forgotten the ingredients because I drank too many Scooter McGavin’s in college.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Castle: When we saw Ryan at home I thought, oh goodness, I have zero interest following that guy home. And then he went and got himself slapped by a mobster. Unfortunately the rest of the episode was not as entertaining as him getting slapped.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Go On: Between this episode and Cougar Town, I am beginning to wonder if there ever was a time when Courtney Cox was ever funny.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Justified: It became pretty clear that Colton would not make it to the end of the season, most likely at Tim’s hand, it is a little surprising he got gunned down before the finale (was this Tim’s first on screen kill in the series?) Which makes me wonder who will they kill off in the finale, or how many? Mike O’Malley cannot possible survive after threatening the life if Raylan’s unborn daughter. And will Theo Tonin finally make an appearance or will they be saving him to be the big bad of season five? I cannot wait to find out.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Apparently Philip did not learn that much from Boston Rob because I image Rob would have cut Corrine lose last night. He would have at the very least given Michael the boot because Corrine was cozying up with him. And splitting the vote was silly. If Michael or whatshername actually had the Idol, they would have played it last week. It is a shame that a Favorite is going to win because these are some of the most inept players in the history of the game.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Well that was the most boring Groundhogs Day homage ever. At least they let us now Ethan Embry was the young boy by the end of the episode because it was pretty obvious who the young boy would grow up to be. But this begs the question, is has his father remain in suspended animation like the rest of Storybrooke all this time or is old enough to join AARP now? Presumably he has been hanging out in the dungeon Belle was all these years.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: So much for no more distractions. Now Emily has multiple distractions between her foster brother and whatever Jack is up to.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: The show really does not know its audience when it does an Andrea-centric episode.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: The sad thing is, I do not think Frank becoming a gay icon even ranks in his top five most offensive scams.

House of Lies: Wait, did Clyde actually develop a conscience? He would be the last in the pod that I thought would feel bad that he orphaned a kid.

Vikings: When the previews showed the Vikings invading English speaking countries I wondered how the show would deal with the language barrier. Two episodes later and the answer is a resounding not very well. Sometimes they both speak English and not understand each other and this week they have both parties subtitled and not understanding each other. They should have just kept the Vikings speaking English and just have the English speak Gaelic or some other dead language. But I do like the new relationship between Ragnar and the priest. He is a much more interesting foil to Ragnar than the Earl is.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

How I Met Your Mother: If Barney’s bed was not supposed to be an homage to Remote Control, I am going to go ahead and pretend it is.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: With the reintroduction of Gary Ewing and his wife, you have to wonder if TNT is toying with the idea of a Knot’s Landing reboot.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: Not The Killing bad, but I am still a bit disappointed with the killer’s reveal. I long wrote off Robert because I could not see him killing his own daughter after the lengths he went through to keep his son out of jail. And we still do not know why he killed her. Ugg.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have predicting since the beginning of the show that Allison was still alive and later she was under the red hood despite her body being identified, and this is the closest thing to a confirmation with both Hanna and Mona seeing a not so dead Allison pulling them out of the fire. But I am not totally convinced what they saw was indeed Allison. But if it was, then were the other time the Liars saw Allison in dream like sequences, like when Aria was being drugged by her dad’s girlfriend, or when Emily was trapped in the barn when she was looking for the psychiatrist? And if Red Hood did not start the fire, does that mean Jenna, Melissa and the random lesbian who showed up last week (is she just a stand in because the actor they wanted was not available?) did do it? And is the start of a war between The A-Team and what I would like to coin The Dukes of Hazard (the second best television show of the eighties) with the Liars caught in the middle? And what the frack was in the trunk? Or should I be asking who?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: When it was shown that Drew skipped down on the 4:30 train I tho9ught why did Raylan not go with him instead stay in the principal’s office where he could get gunned down by Tonin’s thugs. I realized quickly that was a stupid question because of course Raylan is going to stick around and taunt Boyd and Tonin’s boys because he is Raylan Motherfracking Givins. If there is a hard way to do something, Raylan is going to do it. And that ended up being the best scene in the episode. Well that and Constable Bob getting beat to the sounds of Love Train. Actually, now that I type that out, I realized that was an awesome foreshadowing.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: It is hard not to think of Laura’s plea to her tribe two weeks ago saying they should keep her because strength would not necessarily translate to wins and you never know when there would be a twist. The next week the Fans lost the Reward Challenge even with Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 and were gifted Immunity when Brandon Hantz went, well, Brandon Hantz. Then the very next week, they switched up the tribes and now Sherri is stuck on a tribe with four Favorites and the only Fans with her are Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2. Speaking of Brandon, all he had to do was keep it together another day or two and he could have joined up with some Fan in a new tribe either vote Philip out or be in a tribe with no Philip. But that is not the Hantz way. And it is interesting that Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 managed to be on a tribe with the two on the outskirts of the Favorite tribe which makes you wonder if they stay loyal to the Favorites or jump ship. But after the challenge, they may never have to make that decision.

I do not know what was more surprising: that Special Agent Philip Sheppard admitting he never went to college, what exactly are the requirements for the FBI, or Julia spoke for the first time and was not voted off. I pegged her as the token contestant this season that does not get any screen time until the episode they are voted off. Maybe that will turn out to be Brenda this season. One more thing, Corrine’s love for gay homosexuals really bordered on creepy. I was really hoping that after one of her numerous comments on the subject the camera cut to Michael, who I not even remember up to this point even talking about his sexuality, who would say something like get this crazy chick away from me.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: This season has not been as entertaining as the first mostly because they have chosen to focus too much on the adults (the show needs more Dalia) but it was almost worth the extra old people storylines just to hear George’s rock version of Bump N' Grind.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: Well that was an interesting plot twist with Philip all but asking Elizabeth for a divorse. Although I do not agree with him that the KGB would agree with him that it would be okay because they are not really married in their eyes to begin with so there is no need to get a divorce. But as they slowly become more American (Philip even faster), I have to wonder at what point, if ever, do they switch side like suggested in the premiere.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/10/13

The Walking Dead: One thing I really hated about Lost is that they would set up something, forget about it, and they finally pay it off long after everyone stopped caring. That was the case this episode when Rick finally ran into the dude who saved him in the series premiere. This meeting should have happened late in the first season or early in the third. But it was still one of the better episodes in the show as Rick finally met someone crazier than he is, but you got to love all the booby traps that crazy dude set up for the walkers and the barely living.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: I was wondering when Karen would pop up again. I figured after Lip gave her a call it would not be long. Though I cannot image she will stick around that long after learning how much it will take to care for her son and just let the grandparents fight over him.

Vikings: It dawned on me about half way through the episode it may not have been the best idea to do a basic cable version of Game of Thrones set in the real world. But the “This season on” package did leave me intrigued so I probably give the show another episode or two to win me over.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

House of Lies: I never thought anyone could ruin a Kristen Bell Sex Tape, but they somehow managed to do that. Thanks House of Lies.

Switched at Birth: It is brave to try an all ASL episode, but I think it could have been better conceived. I thought maybe they would have a national day of silence in protest of the closing of Carlton. Or maybe follow a day in the life of Daphne or even Emmitt for a day. The way they did it seemed a little to force to avoid any spoken dialogue.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Dallas: It does not really mattered what happened in the first fifty-nine minutes, something about a silly car race, and the third Ewing brother made his first appearance in Dallas in about three decades, all that matters is the two gunshots that ended the episode. Any other show, it may have been in bad taste to murder off the character of an actor who died in real like, but in the case of Larry Hagman, it seems like a fitting tribute to send off J.R. Ewing with a murder mystery considering Who Shot J.R. was one of the biggest storylines ever in the history of television. I am sure next episode we will get a fitting tribute, but after that we will start for the hunt for J.R.’s killer. Since he was (supposedly) half the world away when he was shot, that rules out everyone in the main cast unless there was a time jump we are unaware of. Your probably have to put Cliff Barnes at the top of the list (but would he be so brazen, as the promo monkeys would have suggest, show up and taunt the death of his rival at his own funeral after killing him). Could Sue Ellen’s sister, who originally shot J.R., come back to finish the job? Um no, it turns out she overdosed and drowned in a pool during the original run. But maybe her son, Christopher finished what his biological mother started. Maybe Gary showing up in Dallas was not a coincidence. Or to tie it back into the modern day version, maybe one of Vincente’s buddies are set to avenge his death.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Well that was a completely random and completely shoehorned in celebrity cameo. At least tease that it would be possible that Missy Franklin could be A, put her in a red coat or something. But even worse, are they actually going to let Ezra teach again… in high school? What, what?!? Apparently even the principal knows something went on, how could he let this happen? Why will Ella work with a dude who sleeping with her high school daughter? These are the worst administrators and parents ever.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: So the dude in the black hoodie had to be Thayer right? Everything points to either Rebecca or Alec being the one who killed the one dude and kidnapped (and looks also killed) Teresa, but could Thayer be behind it the whole time? But then the question is why.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: Where most law enforcement shows are about who did it, Justified has almost always been a show where we knew who the criminal was early on with the show being much more about the chase. So it is not surprising that the show would unveil its first real long mystery with three episodes to go, maybe it is surprising they did not reveal who Drew Thompson was earlier. Although some could argue that they revealed that Sherriff Shelby was Drew last week when his conversation with Ellen May made it so obvious that I assumed it was going to be a red herring. So now Raylan, and Boyd and Theo Tonin, have three episodes to hunt down Drew. Oh, and Boyd has extra incentive to find him too because it looks like he took Ellen May with him.

It was surprising how funny this episode was considering it came in the wake of Arlo death. The shootout between Constable Bob and the white collar criminals was hilarious, Art’s tirade the kicked off the episode, Raylan still had his trademark wit, and of course all of Wynn Duffy’s reactions were priceless (I bet he did not think a federal agent would be making a house call with a federal prisoner). I was also surprised that the preacher’s sister finally reappeared and it did not involve her teaming up with Ellen May, instead she teamed up with Tim. Is Gutterson finally going to get some love on the show?
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: What a crime against humanity that the Fans voted out the three hot chicks right in a row. And it was completely short sided to get rid of Laura now, she definitely had the better argument in that you cannot trust Fratboy #1 or Fratboy#2 if they switch things up and keeping them will no way guarantee winning any challenges (and it was hypocritical of the Fratboys for saying they needed to keep a stronger team yet voted for Shamar, probably the strongest person on their team, twice in a row). And more importantly, how do you vote off the three hottest chicks in your tribe in your first three Tribal Councils? I am beginning to worry about the longevity of Andrea now.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Caramoan on iTunes.

The Neighbors: I feel bad for Jackie if the only song she has found on the planet Earth has been Semi-Charmed Life.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Neighbors on iTunes.

The Americans: Holy frack, Felicity just beat the crap out of Mags Bennett!!! Did not see that coming. I did see that they were being interrogated by the KGB, that was pretty obvious, it is way too early to for the United States government to be on to them (I will be surprised if that happens sometimes before the season finale).
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: A couple weeks Jeff Probst did a podcast with Chuck Closterman when Chuck asked Probst if Survivor rewarded mediocrity. His reasoning was simple: all the weak players get eliminated first, and then all the strong people get voted off after the merge, leaving the mediocre to win most seasons. I could not help think of that conversation while Celeste got crowned King of the Nerds. Going into the finals I thought Genevieve would sweep the vote, she was her team’s leader and won three Nerd Off’s while Celeste did not have one signature moment on the show, but mediocrity was awarded (two people weirdly mentioned Celeste’s “growth” as the reason for voting for her). Yawn.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/3/13

Shameless: When Papa Milcovich called in “The Russian” I thought, uh oh, those boys are in some real trouble. Nope, the Russian was just a prostitute brought in to sex the gay out of them. And that did not even rank in the top two most offensive parts of the show this week. Number one would be having sex with your mother-in-law while your wife gets you aroused because a turkey baster did not work. And then there was Frank holding his clean urine in his mouth for who knows how long.

House of Lies: I used to think the pre-teen stripper routine would be the most offensive dance sequence from Little Miss Sunshine would be the most offensive dance I would ever see involving kids, but now Roscoe and his posse takes the top spot. Congratulation… I think?

How I Met Your Mother: I really hope that some savvy producer saw this and realizes it is about time for a Weekend at Bernie's reboot (something I have pushed for the last couple years). Maybe even Judd Apatow who would go ahead and have Jason Segal play the Andrew McCarthy role (though it would be better to have someone like Seth Rogan take on Jonathan Silverman part instead of Ted Mosby). Then just bring in Jim Carrey as Bernie. It is a surprise no studio has yet hired me to run their reboot department.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: Only the Ewing’s would know the best way to overcome armed thugs would to fake(?) a fight with each other.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Bunheads: It was a little weird that after an entire episode about a group of girls thinking about losing their virginity, they choreograph a big dance sequence around Makin' Whoopie. And for those not sure what the difference between boys and girls, the girls plan for weeks, if not month or years, like in the episode, guys just want it to happen anywhere with anyone, preferably as soon as possible.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

Castle: Not as cool as Liam Neeson’s “skills” speech, but I liked the French dude’s speech to the microphone on the wall. Too bad he turned out to be a chicken and had to die. And we finally got to meet papa castle (shame on the promo monkeys for spoiling that reveal last week), it was teased a couple seasons ago that he worked deep cover. And really, if Stana Katic ever got bored with the show, I would not a mind a Castle and Castle spy spin-off. Or throw in Alexis and make it Castle Cubed.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Deception: I really hope that it does not turn out that Julian’s booty called turned out to be Vivian’s murderer. That would be as dumb as Rosie Larson’s aunt accidentally killing her.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Plaster all those annoying phrases with the pound sign on the screen as much as you want, I do not believe that was Toby out in the woods until I see a face. I am more inclined to believe that was Detective Waldon under the cap. But my favorite part of the show was when Hanna pushed the cop car into the lake. I was really hoping that it would sink about a foot before she realized that lake was not deep enough to cover an entire car.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: I am not surprised Ted would place flowers on the grave of someone who is blackmailing him, but I just do not see him as a murderer / kidnapper. I have a feeling it will turn out the Ted feals responsible for the death, he just did not do it himself.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: Wow, they actually killed Arlo off. And what a way to go… out fighting but hanging on long enough to tell his son to kiss him somewhere unsanitary one last time. Awesome. So if you had Arlo in your Who Is Drew Thompson Office Pool, you may want to stop planning your cruise you were going to purchase with winning (which is probably for the best). Granted Arlo was always the least likely to be Drew. So that leaves (or the people we have seen this season) the three white collar criminals that Boyd is shaking down and Sherriff Shelby. But I do not know why they are spending so much time having the ex wife looking at pictures because wouldn’t Drew have had copious amounts of plastic surgery by now? Wait a second, could Wynn Duffy be Drew Thompason?
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I wonder if there was some heavy editing during the Immunity Challenge because why did they let Fratboy #2 to continue to try to throw the hook and keep missing when Fratboy #1 got it on his first try, and Shamar was also able to get it fairly quickly. But his inability was never brought up (which makes me think that it was heavy editing). Speaking of creative editing, I think it may have been some foreshadowing editing that Andrea talks about not telling the wrong person her plan to oust Corrine followed by her telling Brandon the plan. Did she not see his season? He blabbed his alliance’s secrets, what made her think he could keep a secret by someone he hates: i.e. absurdly attractive chicks.

Poor Shamar, he dumped on throughout Tribal Council, and probably rightfully so, but he was right in his memory of his conversation with Hope and all she had to do was just vote for Fratboy #2 and she would have stay. Granted it would had been awesome if there was a three way tie, and after a revote, a two-way tie which would had led to another revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: The neo-folk revival of Mumford and Sons have gotten so big that even Alex Dumphey is in a knockoff band. Actually I would not mind hearing more of the Eclectic Light Dorchestra.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I feel as if I just complained about this, but what chick really gives guys, “I am sorry someone close to you just died” sex? C’mon, this just does not happen. It was almost as weird as Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys showing up for Deacon’s birthday party to hit on Rayna fresh off her divorse.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: It may be a long slog to the inevitable death of this zombie show, but at least we got to see Annie in an Octoberfest costume before it was thankfully put out of its misery.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: As a stats nerd, I have to call shenanigans. The probability is astronomical that every time someone had a clear advantage (like Moo in both challenges this week as a NASA employee) throughout the show has lost. Every single time. Either the show is playing up the strengths of each contestant or there is some manipulations going on behind the scenes. As for a prediction for who will win next week, I am going with Genevieve.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Wow, eyeless girl was creepier than anything on The Walking Dead this week. Although will Mr. Gold be willing to get rid of his grandson just because he will be his downfall? Stupid question, this is a guy who let his son slip through a portal alone just to keep his powers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: It was pretty obvious that the person at the bottom of the boat would turn out to be the evil dock guy, but I never would have guessed that he would take Amanda down with him. After she had Jack’s baby, I assumed she would be here for the long haul of the show. Hopefully this inspires Emily to get back to taking people down again and stop with all this slow and boring cooperate espionage that has gone on this season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: I thought crazy Rick stopped after he realized he was getting phone calls from beyond the grave. Ugg. And all the zombies that came out of that delivery truck might as well all had wigs on because that was essentially a clown car.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: Of course child services shows up at the most chaotic time ever on the show. It will be hard for to get the Gallagher’s to get out of this one, but I have a feeling the inept worker will help them out inadvertently or not. And can you really get pregnant with a turkey baster? I always that that was an urban legend.

House of Lies: Uh, oh, Veronica Mars went on a blind date with the Hearst rapist this week. Hopefully she will be back next week with all her hair.

How I Met Your Mother: I am too lazy to even bother to think about it, but I am pretty sure the show has done the three stories from three perspectives before, probably multiple times, and it it gets less interesting every time. With that said, I kind of want to watch this episode again just to see of Barney’s Austrian king actually shows up in the background somewhere.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I had the new girl pegged to be a mole, she was acting a little too weird, but I would not have guessed that she would turn out to be the opponent’s daughter. But will Toby be able to use that to his father’s advantage?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Bunheads: I did not think the show could top the weirdness Istanbul dance from last summer, but I think they may have done so with the dancing miners.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.
2 Broke Girls:

Castle: I was going to take this time to make numerous Taken jokes, but the promo monkeys already beat me to it with the previews showing an upcoming Liam Neeson joke. Hurmph.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Do people in the suburbs really have shower / spas like that in their homes? I defiantly need one.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Go On: I am really ready for Simone to go back to wherever she came from.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Justified: The video that Jody made for Raylan (with the aid of Paul Kinsey!) was so entertaining I will completely ignore that he really never had the time to make said video (or how implausible that basically every episode this season so far took part in less than a week). Also the show could use more Jackie Nevada. I take her over Ava, Wynona, or the barmaid from earlier this season. If you cannot get enough of Nevada, I highly recommend Raylan the book (see my review here), this episode is basically the end of the book, except there was no doubt if Raylan got any. Then again, in my experience, whenever a girl leaves the bathroom door open when she takes a shower, it is a sign she wants you to join her. Okay, that has never actually happened to me.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I really like the trend of people outing other people at tribal council who have a Hidden Immunity Idol. I do not like the trend of people claiming that they are going to use said Idol but keep it in their pocket. I also do not like how the “Player of the Week” commercial is almost always spoilery. When both Laura and Douchebag #1 (not to be confused with Douchebag #2 whose name I also have no desire to learn) were up for the award, you knew they were going to do something but they did nothing interesting before then. I am usually good at skipping the ad, but the show really needs to move it to the last commercial break to avoid such spoilers.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites on iTunes.

Modern Family: Holy Bud Bundy sighting! T is a shame that it took Al this long to get his son some work.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Americans: It is weird watching this episode with all the paranoia that the Russians were behind the shooting of Ronald Regan when we now know that some crazy dude did it just to impress Jody Foster (I hear she’s currently single). I guess the closes thing similar that I can think of was when the power went out here and most of the northeastern part of the United States right after 9/11 and everyone thought it was another terrorist attack, but just turned out that our power grid just sucks. And a decade later, they still have not fixed it.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: I am now convinced the new showrunners are just fracking with us between the Stockholm Syndrome attempt and Luke Perry and Jennie Garth ruining Inspector Spacetime. This is going to be a long final season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: It is weird that for a show entitled King of the Nerds, that there is only one guy that remains even though the game started out with more guys than girls. I guess it may not be all that surprising that a bunch of male nerds would get flustered with chicks around, losing ever head to head gender battle in the Nerd Off. Now will the chicks band together to make sure Ivan (like when Parvati won Survivor) or with the self implode and let the guy win (like that season with Eliza)? Actually come to think of it, has there ever been an all male final on Survivor? (Researching… It has happened three times out of twenty-five seasons; five were all female)

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/17/13

Once Upon a Time: So Jack of the beanstalk fame was a chick? Alrighty. About as realistic as watching Hurley trying to run. I also like the promo monkeys making it sound like the reveal of Mr. Gold’s son is going to eb a shocking reveal as anyone who has watched has already figured out that his son is also Henry’s baby daddy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: It is common knowledge that the second season of the show just is not as entertaining as the first. I would argue that the Jump the Shark moment was when it was revealed that it was not Daniel who died as witnessed during the series premiere but the Rent Boy instead. And it looks like the show is going to pull that cheap storytelling again this season as it was teases that Jack would end up at the bottom of the ocean at some point but will not actually pull it off as I bet the evil dock owner is the one that will end up dead. Hurmph.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: So after coherently invading Woodbury and successfully saving Glen, Maggie, and then Daryl, Rick is bat-ish crazy again. Yep, seems right. Welcoming back The Walking Dead.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: Just when you think the show has run out of new ways to offend the audience, a third Malkovich child shows up with an extra package. Apparently nothing came out of Frank calling child services a couple weeks ago, but I am beginning to think maybe a representative should start showing up on set.

House of Lies: I try to avoid anything that involves Matt Damon and got tired of actors playing a douchebag version of themselves a long time ago, but this may have been the most entertaining episode of the show yet.

Switched at Birth: Is it wrong that I started yelling “Deaf Fight!!!” during this episode? Please do not answer that, I already know the answer.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Just when you think this was going to be another episode where the writers beat an already not very funny joke into the ground, out walks Mike Tyson. Well done writers, well done.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: I wonder why Ryland and his mother are perpetrating Bobby lie that he shot him. Does Ryland actually not remember and his mommy told him who shot him? As much as they hate Anne, why not let her rot in jail?
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: O wow, I was actually right that the dude from the John Laraquette Show was actually Mia father. And now I am beginning to think he killed Edward’s one night stand to have leverage over the Bowers family. But even if the statute of limitations of statutory rape runs out after five years, would accessory to murder still get him jail time. I may just have to move him up on my list of suspect to number two after step-mommy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Huh, it looked like Jason’s flashback was going to show what happened after Mr. Montgomery got threatened by Allison and then Spencer’s sister walked out of her house, but instead of Allison, Jason saw… CeCe? Huh? Maybe it is CeCe is the red coat that is the Master A. And where did Jason go? Unles the Liars are that unobservant that h would just slip by, did he really jump out of the window after falling down an elevator shaft?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: I guess I was not the only one who thought Major Dad was also Drew Thompson. Granted until I see his high school wrestling pictures under the name Josiah, I would be highly suspicious that he still is. But if Major Dad is not Drew Thompson, who is? Since the show like to recycle its guest stars, I have a feeling we have already met him (for half a second, I actually thought that Arlo may be Drew Thompson, but Raylan is too old to not know his father changed his name). Could it be the half naked judge from News Radio? Sherriff Shelby? Constable Bob? Wynn Duffy? Please oh, please let it be Dewey Crowe.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Nashville: I wonder if Gunner and Scarlett ditch Avery’s band just like Avery did. They get wind that Rayna may want to sign them, and no mention of the other guys. I guess with a show with this name, someone needs to stay in Nashville.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Americans: Holy Mags Bennett sighting! You knew when Mags showed up in dinner, she was not going to be just some random creepy chick; the only question would be if she were KGB or FBI (or some other three letter agency). It turns out she is the new KGB boss and has no problem killing a chick. But I guess that was the only reasonable outcome (again showing again just how soft the Jennings are getting), with the kid going to his grandparents in Mother Russia.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Note to the new showrunner: no more Scary Annie please.  It is not brain surgery, put her in highly GIF-able situations.  No need to over-think things when it comes to her.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.