57 Channels and Only This Is On: 2/8/15

Super Bowl: I refuse to recognize cheaters as winners because cheaters should never win and winners do not cheat. And lets be honest, the true winners of the Super Bowl was the Green Bay Packers. Seriously, very few people can outshine one of the greatest living humans Anna Kendrick in her own movie trailer. I am definitely not ready for Clay Matthews's jelly, but I cannot wait to see the full performance.


Shameless: Did someone forget to tell Showtime that the Super Bowl was on? And it ended up being the best episode of the short season so far and one of the best of the series. But I guess in the age of DVR and On Demand, I guess watching the first run episode does not really matter much for premium channels who are not selling ads. As long as the viewers watch sometime. But anyway. What a great episode for Frank in his warped The Hangover type plot of trying to figure out what happened to his insurance money. That final reveal with the prosthetics my have been the most "shameless" scene in the show's history. Now with Sheila gone and his money gone, it looks like Frank is back to square one. Does he move in with Sammi at this point?

Pretty Little Liars: Rosewood really has a never ending well of absurdly attractive lesbians. But can they bring back Mona already? The show is kind of boring without her. Because much like Allison, I just do not believe Mona is dead. Hopefully it does not take Mona four years to pop back up in town.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Agent Carter: As entertaining as the show has been it is disappointing that could not figure out how to make use of Dum Dum Duggan more often. Maybe if their is a season two, maybe Peggy can take up his offer of joining the Howling Commandos for next season.
You can download Marvel's Agent Carter om iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I cannot comment on this episode because I will undoubtedly offend people with my thoughts.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Justified: I could not believe they killed of Dewie Crowe in the season premiere (that really puts a crimp into my Dewie / Dickie spin-off) but Choo Choo may end up being an almost worthy substitute. But that mask scene just showed that Raylan is still the best character on television.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II: What a gutwrenching elimination, on one hand Johnny Bananas wore out his welcome five to ten seasons ago, on the other, Nana has quickly closing in on GOAT status. At least they have that silly ex-ile twist this season (is this the first time The Challenge stole something from Survivor? And now that I think about it, if The Challenge now allows Are You the One castmates, how about recruiting Survivor contestants too). If the show is scripted there is no doubt those two are the ones that make it back into the game. The stupid web show may end up being more entertaining than the actual show.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II on iTunes.

Hindsight: Why was Becca telling the college students how great the next R.E.M. album is? Would that not be New Adventures In Hi-Fi? C'mon Becca, it is one thing to spoil the future, but is another to give people false hope of the future. But she made up for it with a great use of Nightswimming at the of episode, one of my favorite songs ever recorded.
You can download Hindsight on iTunes.

The Americans: Sure, this is still one of the best shows on television, but something needs to happen. The show is still living off close calls every couple episodes, be it the CIA almost catching the Jennings, or Paige discovering what her parents do, but they still have not pulled the trigger on either. Interesting that NBC already beat The Americans to the punch on the second point creating a show where Russians spies tell their son about themselves (or so the previews would have me believe, I did not bother to watch Intelligence). Really the best part of this season so far was the one aspect of the show that chance: Nina in Russian prison. Why did they hold that storyline out of the premiere? Well, the second best, Stan telling Olag that if he if going to shoot him, he will have to shoot him in the back. What a "G" move.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Blacklist: Usually I prefer more serialized moments of television shows, but I really do not care at all about the fire Lizzie was in as a kid. And the more they talk about it, the more confused I get. So now her dad (or who she thought was her dad because it is still very plausible that Red is really her father) died in that fire. But did he not die last season when Red smothered him with a pillow? Meh, just give me the Blacklister of the week for this show. I do not care at all with the backstory.
You can download The Blacklist on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: One thing I noticed this week is there is copious amounts of cleavage this season. In previous season the girls wore a lot of t-shirts with nerd slogans on them, but there are a lot of tank tops this time around. Between that and all the partial lesbians running around it is clear the boys do not have a chance of winning yet again this season. But at least the challenges are silly as ever. Why was there a sumo wrestler in the Nerd Off? Who knows, but it was entertaining.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 6/29/14

Orphan Black: Oh no, I fear that we already seen the Jump the Shark moment. Most sci-fi shows with an extraordinary character usually takes a misstep when they introduce a second version of the special person and I was thinking the exact same thing when we learned there are a second set of clones. Surprisingly that set of clones was not based on Paul but instead the weird Prolethean dude. I will give the show the benefit of the doubt, but this type of revelation always seems to be the downfall of these types of shows.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: They have teased there is something more to Ethan than simply being American, I first thought he may be Jack the Ripper. Then it seemed pretty obvious that he was a werewolf. But after this week, could it be something entirely different, some sort of high priest, demon hunter? What exactly was he doing to Vanessa and why has he not done it sooner?

Crisis: Sure it had its issues and some back acting, but now that the season is over the show turned out to be the best case scenario for a network trying to rip off Homeland. It is a shame more people did not watch. But it is probably the best thing because that way it is now limited to just one season (though a second season manhunt for Gibson after breaking out of prison could have worked). Since the season was for the most part self contained, it is surprising that Amber did not learn that her aunt was really her mother; even more surprising is that we learned Gibson knew this and never used it to his advantage.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: The show’s writers really need to stop watching Catfish. The plot was silly enough when the dude was getting revenge on Emmitt for getting him suspended, but to now make him secretly in love with Emmitt is just silly.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Please, please, please let the new hot Rosewood resident be part of some new lesbian Swimf@n storyline.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Oh Nany, I am not sure out could have made up the extra time had you not, but you cannot get off the bike. Oh well, winner or second place, this was clearly the season of Nany: she somehow out-crazies Camilla in a passing of the torch moment, hooks up with another dude while flirting heavily with another, gets blown up by Cara Maria and still manages to win that Challenge. That is an all-time performance right there. On the flip side of the coin there was Zach who flips over his canoe in the first leg, does not figure out the tree puzzle is an actual puzzle, no geography knowledge needed (granted on Bananas figured that out), then almost died multiple times in the third and fifth legs. How are you in a final with Devyn and still manage the lead impressive performance?
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 6/22/14

Orphan Black: My favorite part of last week’s episode was when Donnie surprised Vic and Angie in the van and told them to smile as he took a picture and for no apparent reason Vic through up the peace sign. Awesome. I have long hoped for a Donnie and Alison spin-off and even though she is at the bottom of the Clone Power Rankings I would also watch a Helana / Gracie road trip spin-off.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: R.I.P. Van Helsing. I am not sure if it was intended, but I laughed.

Crisis: So everyone already knows Gibson is behind the whole kidnapping scheme and yet he still concocted a plausible way of explaining that he is actually not the man behind the curtain. But with the secret service guy dead, who are they going to make the fall guy? Well since the final two episodes got burned off last night, you may already know by the time you read this (for the few of us that kept with it).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: My favorite part of the episode was that John just happened to type in just the right phrase (weather?) as to be suggested that Bay was searching for the morning after pill. That is going to be an awkward conversation next episode.
You can download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Murder in the First: I am not legal expert, really all I know about the law is from I learn from procedurals like these, but to does seem like the way the people obtain DNA on this show are blatant violations of the fourth amendment.
You can download Murder in the First on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: So the person that saw who “killed” Allison and buried her to keep that secret is now dead. Ugg. I guess the two leading subjects are whoever did try to kill Allison and maybe even Allison herself.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Defiance: So what happened to the madam? She was only mentioned once and we did not even get to see her in the lengthy “previously on” segment. I vaguely remember her being brought into the woods to be shot but would not put any money on it. And she was my favorite character and I am not just saying that because she ran a brothel. Okay, I am mostly saying that because she ran a brothel.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also donload Defiance on iTunes

Dominion: I am not sure what was more disappointing, that they killed off Tyra Collette off screen or that Rupert Giles has an American accent. I guess I probably should not have expected more for a Syfy original show. Their best ones are the shows they import. I am pretty sure there was a wire in one of Michael’s flying scenes. Interesting to see ads for Spartacus premiering next week considering I remember ninety percent of the show was gratuitous nudity and violence so there is going to have to be copious editing even for basic cable. They may actually be able to air the entire season in one hour after cutting out the scenes unsuitable for cable.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Dominion on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: What a crappy way to go out for CT and the chick’s who name I cannot even remember even though she somehow made it through an entire season. They could have come up with a better way to determine the finals than everyone participating in the draw. At least have everyone vote for one person to go into the draw for one ofr the competitors and if there is a tie, everyone does it.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 6/14/14

Quote of the Week: Post Script: Your father loves you very much and will do anything to save you. But I love you in a different way. I love you enough to kill you. (Vanessa Ives, Penny Dreadful)

Song of the Week: Vacation – The Go Go’s (Growing Up Fisher)

Big News of the Week: Dynasties Over?: The NBA Finals started much like last year, Spurs and Heat trading wins (they did so until the Heat won the final two games), that was until in game four when the Spurs embarrassed the Heat for the second straight game in Miami. It is not outside the realm of possibility that the Heat could win three straight games, but it would be the first time a team came back from a 3-1 deficit. So what would be next for both teams? It is highly speculated that pop Tim Duncan and Greg Popavich would go out on top, five championships in fifteen years. Then there is the Heat, all of the big three can opt out. There are rumors that LeBron could take his talents to LA or back home to Cleveland. But losing in the finals (the second time in four trips), could all three come back and add on a big fourth in Carmelo Anthony, who I like to refer to as the worst star in the history of the sport.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Paris" Perception Season Premiere, Tuesday at 10:00 on TNT

Orphan Black: I am all for more clones on the show, which is lacking so far this season aside from one we met via video who is already dead, , but Tony may have gone one clone too far. And that was before Felix made out with the dude who looks exactly like his sister.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: We finally learned more about Vanessa like how her ties with Sir Malcolm goes way back and she is possibly the reason Mina was targeted. We met the demon that torments her in very explicit fashion that actually scares her mother to death. But there are still plenty of questions surrounding her.

Pretty Little Liars: Wait, so Shanna has been A this whole time? I thought she has know Allison’s whereabouts. Granted I am sure there is probably more A’s out there or we will learn she was just part of the A-Team. Although it looks like Mona might be starting up her own B-team.
You can download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I routinely mention how Survivor should steal The Challenge challenge makers, but this week The Challenge actually stole Survivor’s triangle puzzle. Nothing else much to talk about since this was the week when the show foes its once a season, end the episode before the final duel which I always hate. It does seem safe to assume that CT will win the men’s side because in the Next Time On we saw him punch through the dry wall wrist deep o one punch. Then on the other side it seems like Laurel has the clear advantage with the length, oh yeah, and she has two functioning hands.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Try - Colbie Caillat (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Mutineers - David Gray

New DVD Release of the Week: Walk of Shame

Video of the Week: For Seth Rogan and James Franco’s next movie, The Interview, there are going to kill Kim Jun Un. Awesome. Though the characters’ names are not mentioned in the trailer, I am just going to go ahead and hope this is a sequil to This Is the End where they are playing themselves. Unfortunately with Lizzy Caplan showing up as some government agent, this is probably not the case. And that is the first time anyone has used the words “unfortunately” and “Lizzy Caplan” in the same sentence.


Next Week Pick of the Week: World Cup, Monday at 5:30 on ESPN: The World Cup started earlier this week but for us xenophobes, it really does not start until Monday when the red, white and blue take the field (quite literally, and the jerseys are kind of hideous in a vertical French flag kind of way). It will be a hard road to the Knockout Round, only Group D with all four teams in the FIFA top 35 World Ranking. But Group G features two of the top four teams in the world (Germany and Portugal). At least America gets to start off with the easiest match of the group: Ghana (37th in the world) except the African country knocked the USA out of the last two World Cups. The next match is Sunday against Portugal also at 5:30 and they close the round robin against Germany, Thursday (6/26) at 11:30 A.M. both on ESPN.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 6/7/14

Quote of the Week: I atone you Vic, you’re atoned. (Sarah Manning, Orphan Black)

Song of the Week: Love Is All Around – The Troggs (Orphan Black)

Big News of the Week: 90’s Week: It was 90’s week here at the 9th Green where I counted down the 100 Greatest Songs from the Golden Age of Alternative Rock and even added 25 Deep Cuts as an added bonus. Now that you have seen the lists, you can now listen to them on Spotify, I have embedded them below. The National Geographic Channel was so excited by my list that this week they sent me CD of Sublime’s self titled album. For the kiddies out there, compact disks were how we listened to music in the nineties. It is also possibly they sent me the CD to hype their upcoming mini-series The 90’s: The Last Great Decade?. For those interested, it starts Sunday, July 6 and will feature interviews with Kurt Loder, Vanilla Ice, Matthew Perry, Newt Gingrich, Monica Lewinsky, and Julie Genry of the very first The Real World. Be sure to turn in so maybe I can get a Dodgeball Blu-Ray when they promote inevitable The 00’s: Well That Sucked sometime in the next year or two.


Preview Picture of the Week:

“Pilot” Chasing Life, Tuesday at 9:00 on ABC Family

Orphan Black: I have never been a fan of binge watching shows; I actually prefer watching them week to week, giving you time to think about it. But I did watch the ten episodes of the first season over seven days last summer, but now that I am watching week to week, I have found my entertainment level drop this season. One of the benefits of binge watching sci-fi is it is easier to follow things if you just saw it a day (or seconds) before. This season it is hard to follow the science part of the show. And with the clones separate this season also hurts the entertainment value. Until this week, the only time I believe we have seen a clone imitate another clone was the season premiere when Sarah pretended to be Cosima to get into a party. Sarah as Alison was the highlight of the season so far so hopefully they get the clones to interact more in the second half of the season.
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Crisis: Interesting that the kids all think Gibson was forced to kill the kid and none came to the realization that he could be involved. I guess you would not want to think the worst of your father and ignore all the glaring warning signs. Now the question is just how Gibson gets out of the house and reunites with the blood samples. Obvious he has something planned, just what?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Who knew Jessica had that in her? I was expecting a blow out that we ended up getting from LeRoy / Cuhutta. But really had she not try to shoot the ball like a free throw instead of a slam dunk, she could have actually won that duel. But the star of the episode, much like the entire season, was Nany who took the worst blow of the challenge and still managed to win. But the best came on the After Show, which was inexplicably absent last week when they desperately needed one to discuss the Nany / Johnny / Cohutta situation. Unfortunately Nany was joined randomly by Devon (granted she did give a very interesting conspiracy against the black contestants this season) not any of the boys, but we did get some good reation shots of Nany looking back at her time on the show so far. I think Nany may have taken Camilla’s spot for the most entertaining contestant of the current generation.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Free Download of the Week: Night Like This – LP (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Stay Gold - First Aid Kit

New DVD Release of the Week: Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey

Video of the Week: Today marks the thirtieth anniversary of the theatrical release of the first Ghostbusters and what better way to celebrate with quite possibly the greatest movie theme song in the history of cinema (sorry Bobby Brown). The film is coming back to theaters to mark the anniversary but not until August 29 (probably because it is closer to Halloween) and of course that will be followed by a 30th Anniversary Special Edition Blu-Ray which will feature both movies and a Slimer figurine.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family: The guiltiest guilty pleasure returns this week after an explosive season four finale of Pretty Little Liars which saw A shoot Ezra who was just about to reveal who A was. Unfortunately the TV Guide description of the episode already spoils his fate in the description for those that cannot wait a couple days to find out.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 5/25/14

Mad Men: After Pete missed her twice, I was beginning to fear that we not get to see Trudy this episode and after Community got canceled, I need my Alison Brie fix anyway I can get it. I even sit through her vodka ads. But anyway. Every since Bob Benson creepily touched Pete’s thigh, people questioned his sexuality and this week we got a definitive answer as to just how he swings, going as far as to ask Joan to be his beard. Poor Joan, actually thinks she can still find love as a single mother pushing forty. Her best, and probably only hope is her baby-daddy Roger who has the maturity level of his kid.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Penny Dreadful: I was beginning to think the second episode was going to enter into a sophomore episode slump after a fairly uneventful first half of the episode (consumption sex notwithstanding). But things really picked up in the second half. The séance scene was more disturbing than anything on The Walking Dead while the first Frankenstein Monster reintroducing itself to his father was just as creepy. Still the second episode felt more like an extension of the Pilot where we are introduced to two or three main characters. Now that we have met all the players, hopefully the show starts to pick up next week.

The Voice: I checked into the finale for a couple minutes and quickly realized that I wisely checked out somewhere between the first and second Battle Rounds. Somehow they found singers more boring and bland than last season’s final three in Christina and Jake. At least Josh won, though I not sure if he could have even sniffed the semi-finals in the first four seasons. This is usually where I make a long list of ways to fix the show, but I have only one right now: find better talent. I thought season four was pretty weak talent wise compared to the first three and the last two have gotten significantly worse talent wise. It is time to bring in more ringers. And good ones, not silly YouTube “superstars,” ones with actual talent and entertainment value.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Survivor: Cagayan: Sometime I just have to scratch my head at how some people vote. After three jury members attacked Tony for lying after swearing on his badge, wife and kid, and even his death father’s grave, I actually though Woo had a chance of winning, yet all three of those players ended up voting for Tony. I do not mind lying and cheating to advance in the game, but who gives a million dollars to someone who reigns on the memory of their dead father? What’s worse is that Tony did not even gain anything from voting for Trish. Ugg, so after such a promising premise, Brains vs. Beauty vs. Brawn, this season ended up being in the bottom five of the series.

Undoubtedly there will be an all-star edition of the format in the near future (they are already recycling Blood vs. Water), so here is my suggestion for the cast. I did fill the Beauty tribe with all hot chicks because I do not think anyone wants to know my thoughts on the subject. Plus, let’s be honest, the idea of a “beauty” tribe is that the members use their looks to advance and guys just do not do that. Look at this past season, two of the male beauties looked like they could have very well been on the Brawn tribe.

Brains
Ciera Eastin (Blood vs. Water)
Kim Spradlin (One World)
Sophie Clarke (South Pacific)
Rob Cesternino (Amazon)
Stephen Fishbach (Tocantins)
Todd Herzog (China)

Beauty
Parviti Shallow (Cooke Island)
Andrea Boehlke (Redemption Island)
Morgan McLeod (Cagayan)
Natalie Tenerelli (Redemption Island)
Chelsea Meissner (One World)
Mikayla Wingle (Phillippines)

Brawn
Kat Edorsson (One World)
Cliff Robinson (Cagayan)
Jeff Kent (Philippines)
James Clement (Blood vs. Water)
Stephenie LaGrossa (Palau)
Abi-Maria Gomes (Philippines)

You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: With teaser at the end of the first season finale it seemed obvious that Paige would learn of her parents other lives sometime this season. And with Larrick hot on their trail, it seemed likely that he would kidnap and she would learn that way. Oops, got that totally wrong. It turns out it was the other kid who learned of his parents extracurricular activities. And then killed his parents. Alrighty, that was a bit rushed. But it did set up would could be a fascinating third season where Paige has to find out about her parents… right?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I have to grown whenever a new cast is announce and Johnny Bananas is once again a part of the season. And I have done a lot of growing because this is his tenth Challenge (he, along with C.T. and Anessa have tied Paula for the most appearance; and since I was on the Wikipeia page, I was flabbergasted to see Cara Maria just tied Sarah for most consecutive Challenges ever with seven, who keeps asking her back). So it says a lot that for the first time ever I was actually rooting for Bananas in an elimination round. That shows you juts how much of a douche Jordan is. And really there are very few things more entertaining than Jordan calling his shot against Bananas and then lose. And not just lose, but fail epically, falling of the wall. Good riddance Jordan, here is hoping you do not reach Johnny’s record.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Well, frack, that is how you do a season finale. It may take me a couple days to fully compute what just happened.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/27/14

Orphan Black: (Please not this is a review of last week's episode) I watched the first season over the course of about a week last summer and it is always a little weird when you switch from marathoning to weekly watching. I was ready to watch a new episode the next day but alas, that is not an option when you watch it like. I need my soccer mom fix. Much like the first season, Alison stole the premiere with the three most entertaining scenes: using her mace and rape whistle, her community theater production, and getting a piece for Sarah (and how she delivered it to her).
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: So Cora orchestrated her daughter to be married to a dude she used to be engaged to? Eww. Maybe that séance should have taken place on Springer. And I am starting to think the Wicked Witch’s spell is going to succeed, just not the way she wants. I predicted that they will go back far enough to save Neil, but not far enough for the Wicked Witch to kill Snow White’s mother.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Last week it seemed like Don was still on his indefinite hiatus but the partners make it seem that he was fired but still on the payroll. Are they keeping him around just to keep him from going anywhere else? And just when you thought Don’s life could not get any more depressing, he gets fully dressed at 8:00 just to meet with his secretary who he has spying for him.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: Ever since it was hinted that the kidnappers had an overall noble endgame (show the CIA’s evil super-soldier program) I figured it was only a matter of time before they would team up with the FBI. I am guessing the ending is the start of that where they help each other out and slowly turn the CIA into the bad guys.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

The Voice: Yep, I am pretty much done with this season. Hopefully they find some actual interesting singers next season. But as the last three seasons have played out, I get the sence the show is not interested in those types of singers anymore.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

The Blacklist: After he promos, I was expecting a better fight between Mr. and Mrs. Keen than that. You could even see Tom check himself whe hitting Lizzie with the chair.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: When agent Ward turned heel, I had a sinking suspicion that he would eventually turn out to be a triple agent and he just stunned Agent Hand and all the others he “killed.” That I getting less likely after wiping the blood of Agent Koenig from his strangling wire. But why bring in Patton Oswaltt only to kill him a week later. Oh well, at least next week has Robin Scherbatsky!
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: After teasing it about a month ago, we finally learned what “special powers” the new Idol has and it is extremely stupid. Basically Tony can play the Idol even after the votes are read. Now we know Tony will not be voted off because he calls pull out his Idol even after the votes have been read ruining all suspense. At least with the regular Idol there is the suspense of will someone use it or not, if they give it away, will they give it to the right person, a lot of different scenarios. Now we know if Tony is targeted, he is safe no matter what. This is so stupid. They have rolled out plenty of stupid ideas on Survivor, but "Special Idol" may overtake Redemption Island as dumbest of all.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Yeah, communist going to church went about as well as I expected it to. But I did not think Philip actually went to the church to actually beat up the minister, I thought he was just going to steal the money back. But the minister calling him out for his anger issues actually worked.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Bad Teacher: Dick Casablancas, Antoine Meriwether, and Dr. Dre deserved better than this.
You can download Bad Teacher on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I stopped watching The Real World circa Las Vegas, the first one, but I do listen to Grantland’s The Right Reason’s podcast so I had high hopes for “Hurricane” Nia. Unfortunately she was not even a high wind warning. Even during the After Show she seemed like the normal one next to Jasmine. This has to be the biggest bust since Jamarcus Russell. At least she gave us a good quote on her way out, “You don’t go for 85 minutes and not wimp out. That is over an hour and a half.”
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: This is the best looking show on television, but that whole home invasion scene just came off as clunky, it just never felt very well paced. The season itself has seemed to hit a lull after Will was released from prison and now we wait until Jack confronts Hannibal from the season premiere flash forward.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/19/14

Once Upon a Time: Please no more Captain Hook centric episodes, that was almost as boring as the Neverland episodes.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Last season was the deconstruction of Don Draper, hitting rock bottom to the point he actually revealed his past to his children. One would believe this season will be the redemption of Draper. He impressed Peggy with a presentation via Freddie Rumson. He was even able to turn down the advances of a fellow plane passenger that vaguely looked like Neve Campbell and admit to her that his wife knows he is a horrible person. Wait that actually was Neve Campbell? Oh wow.

There have been conspiracy theories since the beginning of the show is that the title sequence foreshadowing someone literally jumping out of a window. Most of them center on Rodger. I am not one of them because I have always thought it was a metaphorical of someone’s downward spiral. But I have to admit during the final scene, there was part of me that thought, “Oh no, Don is going to throw himself off the balcony.”
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: This show is surprisingly good in a best case scenario for a network to rip off Homeland kind of way. Plus the show is not afraid to get weird, which usually happens in the kidnapped house. But since this is on the same network as Hannibal, it is disappointing when the show hints, but does not go there. Like when the capture told the nerd to “touch” the student council president, he goes in for the hug, disappears off camera, and then they end the scene. Obviously from the reactions afterwards something happened, but what exactly? You know Hannibal would not have cut that scene short.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

Revenge: Emily finally brought back her read Sharpie, but what exactly role did Victoria play in it? It sounded like she was setting Emily up for something, but it did not seem to play out.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: It has been a while since I have seen Lindsay Lohan in anything (I had to look at IMDB and aside from a cameo in Machete and a couple SNL hosting gigs, I have not see her in anything since Mean Girls, ten years ago). If this was the start of a comeback, she is going to have to go back to the drawing board because it was a pretty cringeworthy performance.
You can download 2 Broke Girls on iTunes.

Dallas: Very few things on television are truly shocking anymore, but I did not see Pamela breaking into J.R. Jr’s room just to offer up a threesome with his mistress.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I realized this episode just how much more I liked Agent Tripp on the team instead of the boring Ward. Hopefully they make this permanent. But I do have a sinking suspicion that Ward will turn out to be a triple agent. Sure that will be silly considering all the people he killed (but they could have been stunner bullets and Garrett did not bother to check for blood) and help get all the technology from SHIELD faculty (but it could be all planted). But then again, why would Coulson tell Ward of the secret floor with the Gravitron? Unless he wanted Ward to find it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: Ugg, I am really ready for Tony to get his comeuppance. Since he was the focus of the whole episode, I was expecting someone was going to turn and blindside him. I still do not understand why the Brains on the bottom have not looked at the majority alliance, see there are three Brawn, two Beauties, and one Brain and give the, do not let the Brawn run away with this, let’s start a Brains and Beauty alliance and boot the Brawns. This week would have been perfect when it was three on three on three. I guess that can become a better sell in two weeks if a Brain is ousted next.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: I really wanted Philip and Elizabeth’s debate on the luxuries of capitalism to be longer. It is a fascinating discussion of enjoying the very ideas you are supposed to be fighting against. I at the very least would rather they have that discussion about their kids growing up as fully fledged Americans then watching the kids break into other people’s homes to play ColecoVision.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Many people considered last year a bastard season of the show without creator Dan Harmon around, but the lack of Pierce and Troy this season made this season feel just as disjointed. But I would still watch a sixth season and possibly a movie if there is one next year. If not, I would probably watch Celebrity Beat Off with ?uestlove instead. Though a Jeff and Britta spin-off sounds horrible. An Annie’s Boobs spin-off would be much better.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: I was disappointed in the lack of Haddie lesbianism in the episode. We have not seen her all season; you could give her more than three of four scenes. And no one is going to point out her former black male boyfriend? We certainly defiantly did not need any of the Ryan scenes (oh please have Amber’s test come out negative). I guess it was a fitting ending of a lackluster season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: Oh Camilla, this is the very reason why you get invited back every season, because you are good for one epic drunken stupor per season. Sure the latest one probably does not crack the top five greatest Camilla drunken stupor power rankings, but I do wonder if this was a passing of the guard situation with Nany taking the drunken stupor torch from Camilla because Nany really out-Camillaed Camilla in that fight. If this is the end of the line for Camilla, it has been a hall of fame time run for her.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: It seems like I say this every episode, but the stuffing a dead person in a dead horse is the creepiest motif in the show’s history. Well that was until Jeremy Davies (how has it taken him that long to appear on this show; it seems so obvious) stuffed a living person into a dead horse.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/13/14

Once Upon a Time: So the Wicked Witch took Prince Charming’s courage, tried to take Regina’s heart. So who’s brain will be targeting? And when she gets the three she will be able to go back in time so she can be the one that executes Rumplestiltkin’s curse. Huh?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: I have long said that no one is really dead on television until you see a body (and even then so, I still give it a ten percent chance they somehow return), so when Jimmy went off to his certain doom, I still assumed he was alive until his corpse washed up along the shores of Lake Michigan. But the writers did wait long enough that I completely forgot about him and snuck him in after the credit so some people may have missed his return. But it looks like we will have to learn a third name for the character because his new female companion called him a new name.

Resurrection: What the frack just happens? Caleb is thirty and then just disappears. Is gone for good or will him and the other be back and forth through time?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

House of Lies: Oh wow, Marty Kaan out of Kaan and Associates. I did not see that coming. But much like this past season where it looked bleak that the pod would all be reunited at Kaan and Associates, I have a feeling the writers will find a way for Marty to get back into the fold by the third episode of next season.

The Voice: Of course Team Blake went first because that was the most obvious of all the teams. As soon as I heard that the Playoffs were no longer live back during the first Battle Rounds, I figured those would be his final three. There was an outside chance that Blake could have dumped one of his two country singers for Madilyn Paige, but alas, Madilyn is yet another early fan favorite sent home before anyone could vote on her. Sadly she could have easily have been top three on any other team, and undoubtedly gone further than anyone still on Shakira’s team.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: After debating on whether to watch or skip to avoid spoilers from Captain America I went ahead and watched (I may have been one of the view because ratings were way down; in retrospect, ABC / Disney / Marvel probably should had scheduled so the episode before the movie was the season finale). There were some spoilers like the rise of Hydra and Nick Fury’s death but things looked dire for him in the preview at the end of the last episode (not that I believe he is really dead because you do not kill off Sam Jackson; the only question is if he faked his death or if he took a trip to Tahiti). The show did have a nice fake up making me think Victoria Hand was secretly Hydra only for John Garrett being the turncoat. But Agent Ward turning out to be Hydra was much less surprising, I saw that coming as soon as he adamantly volunteers to escort Garrett.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: The Crowe storyline played out much like I expected it, Wendy turned on Daryl and he would end up dead or in jail. What I did not expect was how much time they spent setting up the next and final season. But just as it should be, next season will be Raylan vs. Boyd with Ava in the middle. After its weakest season, the show is angling to go out on its best (though I doubt anything with come close the Mags Bennet season).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I am beginning to think the show is actively trying to make this season even worse than Redemption Island. Hopefully Morgan wears a screw you dress to every Tribal Council from here on out.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Every time I hear about someone taking a polygraph test, I am always taken back to the Beavis and Butt-Head episode where they hold their breath to beat the test. How did the duo not know of the squeezing your anus technique to cheat on the test?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Well that was stupid. If it were not for Annie’s treasure map dance, that would have been one complete waste of a half and hour.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: I do not remember anything from this week’s episode because the only thing I remember is the promo of a now blond Haddie making out with a chick. After a black dude and a chick, she is a Republican away from the Berkley parent nightmare trifecta.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

The Challenge Free Agents: We get a new format this season which turned out to be a combination of the previous formats: they will play as teams one week, small groups other, duos, and individually. I kind of like not the make up from week to week and limits the dominance of one alliance. I do wish they would switch to Survivor type voting because as is the latter voters just end up voting the inevitable. Or even better, have everyone write down a name at the same time and then reveal the names one by one to the group so those voting first do not determine what the latter voters do. And while I am making suggestions, can we please have a moratorium on Bananas and CT and just never ask Cara Maria back.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Last week I pondered if Hannibal planned on Jack finding Miriam or was that his first slip up. Of course Hannibal orchestrated. How he took down Dr. Chilton was awe inspiring. Sully was the only smart person on this show and got out out Dodge without a trace once realizing who Hannibal was.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 9/29/13

Ray Donovan: Of course the season ended with Mickey saving Ray’s life. Let me go ahead and predict next season will see the two reluctantly team up against a common foe. Ugg, at least the season is over and Homeland can start next week.

The Voice: It what seems to be my yearly, How to Fix the Voice rants, one of my bigger complaints was the recycling of songs and how they needed to retire a bunch of songs. This season did see the third straight performance of Back to Black and Too Close and a few others that got trotted out for a second try. But overall they include a bunch of new songs to the show including some surprisingly awesome song selections. After the first night I did not think someone would perform a song cooler than Keep Your Hands to Yourself, then the very next night someone broke out the most inspired song selection since Lindsey Pavao flipped a Trey Songz track when some dude sang The Theme to the Jeffersons. Boom. Then you also had a guy perform the lone Blu Cantrell hit, a Lynyrd Skynyrd song not named Sweet Home Alabama, a Jack White song, and surprisingly the very first song on the show by The Killers (not counting the time the band themselves performed). Overall I was happy with the song selection this season, hopefully when the coaches take the reins, their picks are just as inspiring. Of course Cee-Lo’s usually are for better or worse.

But the first week belonged to Holly Henry. A couple weeks ago when she appeared in an ad for this season I wondered if it is too soon to anoint someone after just five seconds. Now that I have heard the full ninety second performance the answer is a resounding yes. I am not the only one who thought this because her version of The Scientist cracked the top 25 on iTunes, only the second time I can recall that happening during the Blind Auditions (and it is more impressive than when Sarah Simmons did last season because Holly has to contend with singles from all the high profile fall releases; can anyone remember any marquee album released in the first quarter of 2013). I will not go into a full detail as to why because I have already written a lengthy write-up on Holly Henry for my upcoming Power Rankings that I will post at the end the Blind Audition. Basically if she does not get far this season, I will have to write another lengthy How to Fix The Voice post. Until then, just watch her performance and enjoy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.


How I Met Your Mother: When the season started off with Wayne Brady singing Islands in the Stream, both the Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton parts, I thought the final season would be a return to form. Unfortunately the rest of the hour, what was way too long, fell back into the usual tropes that has brought down the show in the last couple seasons.
You can stream episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Blacklist: The problem with Pilots is when you see the extended trailers; you have pretty much seen the entire episode. So some of what should have been the best parts of the episode, when James Spader first walks into the FBI and when Elizabeth stabs him neck, were scenes you expected to happen. But there were a few things they saved for actual show. From the trailer, it was easy to guess that Spader would turn out to be Elizabeth’s father but since her parents became a central part of their discussion, that is probably not the case (though I would not take it completely off the table, she could be adopted or Spader had an affair with her mother unbeknownst to her or her “father”). After the discovery in the floorboard, the safer best is the husband could be Spader’s kid. Or maybe the husband is at the top of The Blacklist. How good this show is will be determine how they handle the storyline. Most shows would make you wait a couple episodes, or until the winter break to reveal his intention, but if Elizabeth does not confront her husband in the next episode, that will be a major flaw. I fear he may be in the hospital for the foreseeable future.
You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: It become clear pretty early on that it may not have been the best idea to do their casting from the Abercrombie catalogue. Most of the cast just does not know how to deliver a joke. Hurph. Hopefully they learn quickly because the ratings make it look like it will be around for a while. As for the actually show, the big reason of how Agent Coulson is not dead like we saw in The Avengers was that he held his breath for thirty seconds. Alrighty. Okay there is clearly more to this story as Maria Hill says that Coulson can never know what really happened in Tahiti. So is he a reanimated corpse? A robot with Coulson’s memories uploaded? Something completely different?
You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

The Goldbergs: As a child of the eighties, I like a good retro show from the decade, I will even watch a crappy version. Unfortunately The Goldbergs is much closer to the latter. Hopefully it finds its footing and quick because I want watch for the soundtrack alone.
You can stream episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Goldbergs on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: There are fewer things in my life that I need to see less than Matt Sarasen’s mom having sex with Robocop. I really wish I could un-see that. And though it was teased in the promo, the scene with Jax talking to the formal marshal through the one way mirror was very powerful. But I was shocked that Jax actually gave up Tig. I figured after Pope died, no one would care about that debt anymore. But Tig cannot possibly be dead can he? This is not the kind of show that would have a death off scene. The writers would never pass off a chance to have emotionally painful death scene. And it would seem odd to start off an episode with a death scene. Maybe they will give him some sort of reprieve if Tig does something for them like they did with Clay inside.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: It only took two episodes and the old Colton is back and I am back to hoping he has another appendix left to burst. Either that or he quits as the promo suggest he might after Probst asks him if he wants too. I assuming him sitting on his fiancé’s lap is against the rules and hopefully him doing that s viewed as quitting. Then it would be funny if Colton quits and asks his fiancé to join him and he goes, you know what, I am going to go head and stay and play.
You can stream episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

The Bridge: When they caught Drew Thompson with a couple episodes left on Justified last season, I wonder how they could possibly fill up the rest of the season. But the last couple episodes ended up being the best of the season. So when they caught David Tate last week I thought The Bridge could do the same. Um, no. It is probably not a good sign that my biggest question coming out of this episode was what exactly was on Sonia’s cassette tape?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: I really liked how they broke out the Pythagorean Theorem for the final challenge. Although I am shocked that everyone knew what it was (did they give them the equation on the board, I did not get a good look at the instructions). Granted none of them were smart enough to make an educated guess and instead tried to do the math in the dirt. But as great as the Pythagorean Theorem leg of the final challenge was, the gross food leg was very unnecessary. I really did not need to see people projectile vomit for ten minutes straight.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: The show has always been at its best when they find a way to get Penny and Sheldon together which is happening less and less as the cast expanded. But as the premiere showed, when they do, it is comedy gold. Kaley Cuoco showed up for a quick cameo on The Voice this week because her sister is auditioning later this season, here is hoping Jim Parsons pops up in the friends and family room. And since we already heard one television theme performed this season, maybe the other Cuoco will perform Big Bang Theory Theme.
You can stream episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

The Crazy Ones: I had two thoughts while watching the premiere: 1) It is too bad Mork ages backwards because an ill conceived Mork and Mindy reboot would have been a better vehicle than this, and 2) Kelly Clarkson needs a much better agent.
You can stream episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Crazy Ones on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 9/22/13

Ray Donovan: My least favorite storyline was Bunchie and his abusive priest, so I really had to check out of this whole week. Wake me up when the next episode starts.

Under the Dome: As the show petered out at the end, at least it finished somewhat strong. We got the plot twist that it is Julia, not Barbie that is the monarch that is about to be crown. We learned that the dead lesbian was not actually a hallucination but an alien(?) taking her form to communicate. Okay we do not learn what they want. And it was disappointing that Big Jim ended the season still breathing after being teased to die a couple episodes ago. And I am never a fan of cliffhangers especially confusing ones like the dome turning white. But I am sure I will still tune in next summer because much like this summer, it is not like there will be much else on.
You can stream Under The Dome exclusively on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime members.

Siberia: You would think after 95% of these sci-fi leaning post-Lost serial dramas get canceled in its first season, the creators would start writing these show with an actual conclusion for the season and if they are lucky enough to get a second season just go from there. But nope, they all have to end in a cliffhanger, never to be resolved. I actually thought that when the host walked into the apartment, he was going to say, “surprise, this was all fake, everyone who you thought were dead were just acting, c’mon in guys, see: still alive, alright Esther, you come in to and give these guys the split of the money.” And if they managed a second season, it could have been that leaving Siberia is not as easy as the producers thought and there really is something strange going on. But no, he just says, “You’re not supposed to be here.” Fade to black. No explanation of why there were not supposed to be there, where he has been the whole time, what happened to the producer’s camp. Nothing. Hurph.
You can stream recent episodes on Siberia on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: So Tara is ready to file for divorce. It is long overdue for to realize this is just not a healthy environment for her. That probably should have happened around the time her hand got broken in a car door. Or the time he drunk driving mother in law almost killed her kids. I am guessing that going to jail and Jax refusing to leave were the final two straws. Now the question is, will Jax, or Gemma, let Tara leave Charming with both boys?
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

The Bridge: An interesting moral quandary, the snipers were ready to kill Tate, but one he wanted to be killed by Marco, no one would let him pull to the trigger to the point where Sonya shot Marco to keep him from ki8lling Tate. So we will kill people who do not want to die, but will spare the ones who openly try to be killed. So now that Tate is in custody and we still have two episodes left, just how does the ranch tie into everything? Tate did require that the ransom came from the owner so they are tied in somehow. And what about Linder? I completely forgot about him until he showed up in the promos.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.  You can also download The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: We saw it just an hour earlier with Gervase on Survivor (see my First Impression of Blood vs. Water here), but I am still shocked that Cara Maria would show up to a competition show that has used water quite frequently and no know how to swim very well. Shockingly she not only managed to move on to the next stage of competition but came in first. But really, it is hard to believe half of the contestants could not finish that puzzle in under an hour. Granted if you are not smart enough to realize the horseshoe would be the easiest to put together right off the bat, it makes a little more sense.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 9/15/13

Ray Donovan: Even though the episode started with somebody digging a grave, I knew Micky would not be the one who would end up in it. I actually assumed it would end up being Sully no matter how ludicrous it would have been having Micky overpowering two dues while tied up. Instead it was his hook up (poor Rosanna Arquette, she deserved a better storyline than that). But there have been some eye rolling plot devises in this show but Sully believing Micky when he told him that Ray and Sean Walker set him up for his girlfriend’s murder is the most head shaking. Grantland may have to update their episode of Breaking Brad based on this past episode.


Under the Dome: First off, why was the show delay by a half an hour? I understand the US Open ran late, but could they just cut one of the repeated sitcoms that aired before it so it would air on time? Would that have been too hard? I doubt anyone would have missed the scheduled repeat of Two and a Half Men especially if its was already starting a half and hour late.

So when Barbie decided to get caught by not getting in the ambulance, I assumed he had some grand plan to clear his name. Nope. Apparently his big elaborate plan was to just hope Julia regains consciousness. How about telling the sheriff that he did not try to kill Julia and to ask Joe and the nurse, both who witnessed him saving her life, to attest to the fact. On the bright side they did kill off a useless character this episode. Granted if they killed off every useless character, there would be no show.
You can stream Under The Dome exclusively on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime members.

Siberia: The show has come up with some silly reason as to why the cameramen continue to shoot, but they did not even bother to try explaining why the Eskimos let the cameraman keep filming. Thankfully that is the case because I laughed though that whole segment.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Siberia on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Before the episode, I had read an article saying that the administrators at Newton sent home letter to the parents that there would be a school shooting in the episode. I really hate spoilers but I think being prepared was better than the alternative. Granted this way, as soon as I realized the young boy from the opening shots was not a young Jax that he would end up being the school shooter. I did originally thought one of Jax’s kids would end up being a victim but the promo monkeys would have us believe that the only tie in to the main characters is that he used a gun brought into this country by the Sons.

I did remember that Tara was in trouble for the nurse’s death, but I completely forgot that Jax set up Clay for Pope’s murder. I also remembered that Pope set Tig’s daughter on fire in front of him and apparently his erratic behavior is the cause of that, but to me he was acting the same as he always was, downing a dude in urine and dump in the bay and then sit down and sing Otis Redding is something I have always assumed he wold do eventually.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

The Bridge: Being that this show, much like The Killing, is based on a Scandinavian show, I cannot help but wonder how long Sonya will be in the sling because I remember back on The Killing when the dude got beat to an inch of his life, spent a day in intensive care, and was up and about the next episode. That was of course right around the time that show went off the rails. The Bridge was been teetering on the rails for a while now, if Sonya is back to 100% by next episode, it may officially be off. But I do find it funny that the dude from Cougar Town is actually much funnier on this show than on his actual sitcom.
You can download The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: After a pretty sedate start to the season, the real Camilla has come out exploding twice in the last three episodes. But I really liked how everyone just stayed out of the kitchen while she and Jemmye ganged up on Diem. It is a shame the last Jungle is not a physical challenge because that would have been much more entertaining than the silly hang upside-down challenge. Speaking of challenges, that last one was a dozy. Having run a mile memorize a long series of colors and run back another mile cannot be as easy as it it sounds and I was shocked that everyone got it in one try. I remember a couple seasons ago on Survivor they did a similar thing and only had to run about a hundred feet and almost everyone got it wrong on the first try.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On 8/31/13

Quote of the Week: What the (expletive deleted) is a Jemmye? (Frank, The Challenge: Rivals II)

Song of the Week: The One That Got Away – The Civil Wars (Ravenswood commercial)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Video Music Awards Hit a New Low: Stephan Colbert set the tone for this year’s VMA’s when he crushed Daft Punk for choosing the award show over his nightly program. I thought this would end up being a big joke as Colbert would end up pulling a Soy Bomb during Daft Punk’s “surprise appearance.” Except Daft Punk did not end up performing, they just presented the Best Female Video. And by present, I mean they just stood there while Pharrell and Niles Rogers did all the talking. It was that kind of night.

As for the things that actually happened, Lady Gaga was predictably over the top and annoying as she opened the show. Except by the second performance, every one forgot about Gaga. The 2013 VMA’s, for better or worse, became The Miley Cyrus Show. And it was the worse. I never thought anyone would ever give a more embarrassingly bad performance than the Britney Spears Gimme More debacle, but Miley somehow managed to do so. But where Britney was out of shape, underprepared, and (probably) on too many mood stabilizers, amazingly, that was actually the performance Miley was trying to give, tongue, nude bikini and all. Unfortunately this is a sight I will never be able to unsee.


Ray Donovan: As I predicted last week, it took Sully the whole episode to get to Los Angeles. It will probably take until the end of the season for him to get into a room with Mickey. It was almost as obvious that Mickey was going to kill Van Miller, it was obvious he wanted his Hollywood career over his freedom. Except I though he was going to bash his head in with a stapler or something when Van, but it turns out Mickey brought a gun with him. But if Van was as paranoid as he portrayed, how does he not search Mickey or at the very least do not turn your back on a known murderer. Poor Van, he was by far the most interesting character on the show.

Under the Dome: Well Raylan Givens’ baby mama did spice things up this week but her mother may have been more interesting. Of course she goes overboard (but is it really that hard to swim a couple hundred meters without the use of your hands? Just flip on your back and dolphin kick your way to shore). But the mini dome saga just muddled things this week, why did it shock the radio chick but did not do anything to the reporter?
You can stream Under The Dome exclusively on Amazon Instant Video, free for Prime members.

Siberia: Well we finally learned what happened to the faux-lesbian. Although she somehow ended up very far away from where the helicopter fell. So did she never get on it? Did she just wander around after the helicopter not pick her up before getting covered in snow? Did the thing(s) with the footprints drag her there? Eh, it does not really matter.
You can stream recent episodes on Siberia on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: The show has been flirting with absurdity throughout most of its run and they may have finally gone full tilt with Erza turning out to be A even though it makes no sense at all. If they continue down this path, the show can reach the time travel season of Lost of absurdity next season. Though I suspect we will quickly learn that Erza is yet just another pawn of the real A much like Toby who was revealed to be a member of The A Team only for us to learn a couple episodes later he just infiltrated The A Team to keep Spencer safe. Yawn.

But as it stands, let me get this EzrA story straight: So EzrA thought he knocked up Allison, then killed her (although I thought Garrett and Jenna actually did that deed when they bashed her skull with a shovel), then when her body disappeared, he moved to her hometown to teach at her high school, hook up with one of her friends (you know, because the last under-aged relationship he had went so well) and then when they finally found her body (which now begs the question, whose body was found under the DiLaurentis’s gazebo?), started taunting her friends because that is when he realized that Allison was not actually dead and he thought harassing them would lead him to the not so dead Allison. What?!?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Bridge: Last week I thought that the guy they captured would end up being the mastermind or he would be another patsy and we probably would not learn who it was until the end of the season. Not only did we learn he was just another patsy, we actually leaned the mastermind used to work with Carlos, and was cozying up next to Mrs. Ruiz. Oh yeah, and Carlos boned his wife right before she died. Should make for an excellent last couple episodes.
You can stream recent episodes on The Bridge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Rivals II: It is easy to get tired of contestants that have been on five too many Challenges (Johnny, Paula), but I will never be out on Camilla no many how many seasons she does as long as she goes H.A.M. on someone at least once per season. And best part about her going into a blind rage this week was she just got done telling Jemmye not to lose her cool over something stupid right before losing her cool over something stupid. I know I have made this suggestion before, but some reality television producer should team Camilla up with another crazy Brazilian hot head, Abi-Marie from Survivor: Philippines where the two just go from town to town and go H.A.M. on unsuspecting Americans.
You can download The Challenge: Rivals II on iTunes.


Preview Picture of the Week:

"What Happens in Jersey... (Part 2)" Melissa and Joe, Wednesday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Hey Grace, Hey Tony – Grace and Tony (NoiseTrade.com)

Deal of the Week: Amzon has an announced sale right now with a couple albums for only $2.99 including Kacey Musgraves, The Killers, Taylor Swift, and Kanye West’s Cruel Summer collection. Get them while you can.


New Album Release of the Week: The Worse Things Get, The Harder I Fight, The Harder I Fight, The More I Love You - Neko Case

New DVD Release of the Week: Spartacus: War of the Damned - The Complete Third Season [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Best case scenario, Ravenswood will be Angel to Pretty Little Liars’ Buffy, a darker version of the original. Worst case scenario it starts out as convoluted as recently canceled The Lying Game. But I do give points to show for using the great The One That Got Away in its first promo. The two hour crossover event airs October 22. The second hour is being called the “series premiere” but it is unclear if the second episode will air the following week or will not air until Winter when the new season of Pretty Little Liars is set to return. I am guessing the latter because if it starts in October, it will run into ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas unless they do like the last two seasons of The Walking Dead which airs six straight episodes starting in October and finishes the season the following year.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco, 10:00 on Comedy Central: The Comedy Central Roasts were an annual event for me but in recent years they have devolved into a dais of nobodies planted by the network who try to be the most shocking while “roasting” the lowest of the low in pop culture like Charlie Sheen, Donald Trump, and David Hasselhoff. This year they actually recruited an actual star this year in James Franco who will be roasted by his friends like Roastmaster Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader, Andy Sandburg, Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, Sarah Silverman, and Natasha Leggero instead of unknowns that Comedy Central pulled off their comedy special (the only holdover is Jeff Ross on his eleventh straight roast for the network). Sure there will be plenty of James Franco likes to perform oral sex on dudes and other jokes straight from This Is The End, but I am sure this will be the most entertaining televised roast in awhile.