57 Channels and Only This Is On: October 16, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  They say when you lose one of your senses; it heightens the others you have left.  I was unaware that if you lose an eye, you will increase in height so much you start towering over your older brother.  It feels like they mixed up like casting.  This Aemond looks more like the Aegon we saw last week.  But now that Viseris is dead, it feels like this show can finally start.

 

The Walking Dead:  So everything is peachy keen between everyone?  With a few episodes left, I cannot image this truce will last long.

 

Kevin Can Fork Himself:  So Kevin was an abusive douchebag this whole time.  Unfortunately that actor is not very good and still came off as goofy.  But then again, none of the actors did a very good job switching between sitcom and drama.

 

Quantum Leap:  It is kind of cool that Ernie Hudson was one of the people Sam leaped into during the original season.  If we keep meeting the people who Sam saved, that would almost make the present day interesting.  But I would still be fine if they dumped that storyline completely.

 

La Brea:  So all that in the premiere and Scott could not get into the building even though the opened the secret passage way.  Why even go back to the clearing, just steal the key yourself?  That all just seemed unnecessarily complicated.  Hopefully we actually can get into the building next week.  Also unnecessarily complicated: getting caught going out the front just so they would have to go out the back way.

 

Andor:  I am beginning to think it would be best wait until every third episode and watch that three episode block as a movie.  Those first two episodes of the block so far have been slow and plodding, but those third episodes do end up delivering.

 

The Handmaid’s Tale:  When I said Serena could find a driver who was better than Ezra, I certainly was not expecting for her better than Ezra to be June.  I guess she finally realized she was being held captive and this was her only way out of that house.  But now what?  Are she and June just going to become buddies now?  Will Serena help June save her husband if June helps her escape those people keeping her prisoner? 

 

Then back in Giliad, things certainly escalated quickly with that commander not getting even a fair trial, just shot in the middle of lunch.  But how silly that Aunt Lydia is perfectly fine with the rape ritual, but gets extremely high and mighty if the rape does not happen exactly as with tradition.  I wonder if others start telling her stories because that could lead to the death of almost every commander except for maybe Lawrence and Nick.  But what exactly will become of Esther?   Does Giliad have exceptions for rape?  Will she be placed somewhere else?  Maybe Lawrence or Nick will take her in.

 

Tell Me Lies:  I am beginning to think Lucy might just be the psychopath that Stephan is.  Making out with your boyfriend in front of his ex while she is trying to perform is some next level stuff.  But did the Next Week On really just spoil what happens with Drew?

 

Survivor:  Whenever someone does not use their Idol or gets blindsided, I sit from my couch wondering why everyone is not just constantly paranoid.  But we did see this week what happens when you are constantly paranoid and that may get you out quicker than not being paranoid.

 

The Challenge: Ride or Dies:  Kacee and Kaylah gone in the first episode?  How did we ever get so lucky?  Except they ruined that high by bring back Johnny.  And apparently Kacee can be seen in the This Season On, which makes it likely that she replaces Nany who is seen with a neckbrace.  Sigh.  Next thing you know, they will find a way to bring in Josh.  The Senior Tour cannot return soon enough.

 

Stargirl:  Finally, Shiv and Wildcat going at it after snipping verbally for the whole season.   Bet Shiv would have liked the nerd quad on her side after being outnumbered.  But how are they going to explain how her father survived death?  There are kind of an endless list of options in the DC Universe.

 

Big Sky:  So is this show procedural now?  Because this small Montana town may end up having the same murder rate as the town Jessica Fletcher lived in (R.I.P. Angela Lansbury).

 

She-Hulk:  That finally was a little too cute.  All that build up just for one big fake out. But then again, I have never been that big a fan of meta comedy.

 

Pennyworth:  It is obvious that Martha with forgive Thomas, Batman still needs to be conceived, but I wonder just how long will it take her to trust him.  There is also the question is if that is a onetime thing, or will he react that way every time her hears the song?  And was that V of V for Vendetta fame at the end?

 

A Friend of the Family:  Here is another show where the middle child seemed to have a much bigger growth spurt than the eldest child.  But what bizzaro world that someone gets sentenced for five years, but only serves fifteen days?  I understand being lenient on first time offenders, but maybe not be lenient on kidnappers, especially cutting their prison time by 99%.

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: October 9, 2022

 

House of the Dragon:  I am not sure if it says more about me or the show that I found the kid fight the most entertaining thing this show has done so far.  But it is nice to see that Ser Cristian Cole has a line and that line is plucking out the eye of a young kid.  Then the best part of the aftermath was Daemon just hanging out in the back even though his kids were the ones that instigated the whole thing.  But I do wonder where the Sea Snake will land on the impending war between the greens and the blacks.  Both of his children were married to people who quickly married each other after becoming widows.  But they still have four grandchildren, though two bare someone else’s name and while the other two have his name, they certainly do not have his hair.  Of course the way to solve this problem is, in the grand Valerian tradition, is to just marry the cousins to each other, and then their kids would carry on the Valerian name and blood (as long as they do not become king and take the Targaryen name).  It is gross that I actually thought of this as a solution.

 

The Walking Dead:  Yippie, part 3 of the final season is upon us.  Except I vaguely remember what happened in part two.  I remember the evil dude going to Negan’s compound and killing people and that is why he is chasing them, but I forget what was going on in the city and why those people are being chased.  Worse, I do not even care to search the internet to find out why.

 

Quantum Leap: So Al’s daughter has what I assume is a hologram room somewhere, so will Ben have two people talking to him?  Will the two holograms be able to see / hear each other?  Will Al’s daughter be able to block the other chick somehow?  I say this every week and will likely continue to say it until I will it into existence, but just have Al’s daughter be the hologram and get rid of everyone else in 2022.  But it looks like Ben is already jumping into female bodies, I looked it up and this did not happen until the second season of the original, thirteenth episode overall.

 

La Brea:  The most interesting setup of the second season was Scott going into the big glass building in the middle of 10,000 BC, yet he does not show up until the end of the episode and they seemingly just yadda-yaddaed him going into the building.  They better be filling in the gap in the next episode because that building in the most interesting part of the show.  Where did it come from?  Who build it?  How did they build it?  Could they be rewarding the cave people for uncovering the stuff they are digging for?  And just how hard would it be to get into that hole in 1988?  There cannot be a barricade with police all around it, just walk until you find a gap. 

 

The Handmaid’s Tale:  So June is now back under the control of Giliad?  I know every other time she escape and was captured, she was returned with mostly a slap on the wrist, but they cannot just put her back as being a handmaid after murdering a Commander and helping so many escape with her.  Even if they do send her back to like as a handmaid, is the show really going back to season one thru three?  And Luke definably should not be spared.  Yet, I am sure both will somehow survive, and hopefully escape.  Then is Serena a prisoner now?  It seems like she is very limited as to what she can do and where she can do at that house she is living at.

 

Tell Me Lies:  Bree sure like using her hand.  At least she found someone to reciprocate.  So those two are just going to date for the next six or so years?  Will Bree ever learn how Evan confessed his love to Lucy? 

 

Survivor:  Those guys really made the wrong choice there; the time to dump Nnecka was last week.  One of them even said they made their bed now they have to lay in it.  They already burned that bridge with Noelle and the other dude (whose name I still have not bothered to learn, like most people this season), how are they supposed to trust them?  If they go back, it is 2-2, and they will stuck having to go with a 50-50 shot to correctly play the idol.  Might as well vote off Noelle this week, and then they could get rid of the guy if they go back. 

 

Stargirl:  I really hope Shiv reconsiders Mike and Jakeem’s offer because that trio could be like a bad 80’s teen comedy right there.  Maybe they can have the pink pen force her to join their sub faction.  But she will need some new allies after Wildcat found the Gambler’s laptop in he room

 

Big Sky:  Yeah, I guess it makes perfect sense the creepy psychopath is obsessed with Miley Cyrus.  But what exactly will creepy momma do with the knowledge that Cassie is on to him?  And does Cassie know he is creepy momma’s kid?

 

She-Hulk:  He was not quite Madisynn, but the Rabbit guy was fairly entertaining in his own right.  But Todd has to behind this all.  Though, it would be hilarious if it turns out to be Mephisto who is behind everything.  That kind of would be the perfect way to end the season.  With all the winking this show does, it is surprising they did not do any Mephisto teasing, but I guess they did write this long before Wandavision premiered.

 

Pennyworth:  So the last season ended with the start of a civil war and the new season starts five year later skipping over all the fighting and Britain (mostly) back to normal.  How very Hot D of them.  But Lucius has a basement full of meta-humans, I have feeling the blue guy will not be the only one escaping this season.

 

A Friend of the Family:  I have got through the first two episodes (releasing two episodes up front in mildly annoying, but four episodes is absurd, especially when you are just doing 9 total and they are all pushing a full hour).  That first episode was boring, and then the second episode was extremely weird.  I just do not know how they stretch this story out to seven more episodes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: October 2, 2022

  

House of the Dragon:  These time jumps are just killing this show.  Alicent and Rhanera were two of the few characters I cared about and now they are being played by new actors.  Now that have five children between them that I guess I should know, but do not care enough to learn their names.  Then out of nowhere the one Strong brother kills his father and brother.  Why?  Who knows?  Hopefully the show settles down now.

 

City on a Hill:  So that is it?  Drydan avoids prison, instead is just on life support.  I highly doubt that Jackie will stay there until he can hail Drydan off to prison.  I have a feeling this case might not even be mentioned if there is a fourth season.

 

Quantum Leap:  Al’s daughter may be the only thing that could almost make this show interesting.

 

Reboot:  I have not watched a dating show since Flavor of Love, but the more they talk about Fork Buddy Mountain, the more I want to watch it.

 

La Brea: So they jumped into a portal in Seattle and somehow were transported not just in time, but space too, just a couple miles from where the La Brea sinkhole took everyone.  How convenient.  So does every sinkhole portal in the world take you to the same mile or so radius?  Does that glass building in the middle of 10,000 BC have something to do with it?  Is it drawing all the wormholes to that time and general location?  But I cannot fault the teenagers who get transported to 1988 and one of the first things they do is watch Alf.  But I can fault them for trying to get back to 10,000 B.C.  How about trying to find a way back to 2021?  Though if the glass building is drawing everyone back there, maybe going back may be the best way back to their own time.

 

The Handmaid’s Tale:  Well, it is nice to know June has not gone so completely off the rails that she was willing to kill Serena while she was still pregnant. 

 

Tell Me Lies:  So Stephan came clean and admitted he was in the car when Macy died.  Or was he?  He did not look like he was in a car crash that night.  Hard to believe that a crash that killed the driver would leave the passenger unarmed.  Though, my first though was that he was the one that was driving.  I wonder if that is it or we will actually see what happened that night later this season.  But what was bizarre is dude liked about hooking up with her roommate, was there when she died and did nothing about it, and Lucy got back with him and even one of her friends saying he was still hooking up with his ex did not sway her.  I am beginning to think Lucy deserves him if all these warning signs are not swaying her.

 

Survivor:  I cannot believe some was so dumb to open the Beware advantage right before Tribal where it is going to be a tight vote considering the Beware advantage took away your vote for the previous two seasons.  Luckily for him, the switched it up having to wait for everyone to say some dumb phrase at an Immunity Challenge to collecting beads which seems a lot easier.  Obvious the arts and craft is an easy way to do it.  We will see if anyone in the other two tribes thinks of it.  Though, not like it ended up mattering because the two girls ended up splitting their votes anyway and they did not need the third vote, making that editing just unnecessary.

 

Resident Alien: Good riddance mayor.  They should have taken the living son too.  But what do they want with him and his unborn child?  What did they even do with the alien tracker’s kid?

 

57 Channels and Only This Is On: September 25

 

House of the Dragon:  We have heard about her for a while and we finally get to meet Daemon’s wife and she did not disappoint, just mocking him, she will be a great addition to the cast… oh wait, she is already dead.  Well, fork.  Also gone really quick, the Sea Snake’s kid’s lover.  Maybe not try and blackmail a King’s Guard member.  Sign and now we are in for the largest time jump.  Shockingly the king was still in the previews for next week.  Just how long is that dud going to survive.

 

Tales of the Walking Dead:  A strong end to the season, I am always down for a haunted house (though not really down for bird murder).  Here is my official ranking of season one:

1)      Evie / Joe

2)      La Doña

3)      Blair / Gina

4)      Amy / Dr. Everett

5)      Dee

6)      Davon

 

City on a Hill:  I am actually a little surprised that the priest was the one who took a shot at Jackie.  Though, the suspect was very long.  Also surprising is that Dryden got wind of the investigation into him.  Will they be able to take him down with just one episode left this season?

 

Quantum Leap:  I have been asking for a reboot of this show ever since the reboot craze started about a decade or so ago.  Unfortunately they did not take me up on my suggestion of having Sam be the new Al.  They could not even get Scott Bakula at all.  After seeing what the show became, I am not surprised that he passed on the show.  What a flaming piece of hot garbage filled with too many people who cannot act including a scientist who thinks it is socially acceptable to show up to work in a suit fashioned like a crop top. As a whole, they just spent way too much time in 2022.  I vaguely remember one episode of the original spending one episode mostly in its present day, but was about it.  We rarely ever saw Al not in hologram form. This show needs to make a hard pivot and soon.  Have Ernie Hudson be the new Al, have Al’s daughter, who I am guessing will turn out to be doing her own rogue Quantum Leap program, and just get rid of everyone else from 2022.

 

Reboot:  Okay, I laughed way too hard at the song they played at the end of episode two.  But the Hulu executive may end up being the sneaky best part of the show, but I kind of feel bad for the actual head of comedy (but hey, they did give up this show, Only Murders in the Building, Dollface, and The Great).  And you have to wonder who at the network force the writer to cast some hot chick who cannot act, because dudes 18-34 do not care about acting skill.  The guy did create Modern Family so…

 

Andor: Call me old fashioned, but I prefer my television shows to be, you know, television shows.  While this show looked great, the performances were good, but the first three episodes felt more like a two hour movie split into three than three actual episodes of television.  But anyway.  Is that lady mechanic supposed to be Andor’s sister?

 

The Handmaid’s Tale:  So One Eyed Willie survived, but did the other one survive?  It probably would be hard to just have her trying to kill herself every week.  But the big news of the week was that Serena tried to stay in Gilliad.  Wouldn’t she have to stand trial like Fred?  Does no one know she was the reason Fred was even captured by the Canadians.  I laughed at the American dude asking why she would want to go back when she was free now… and promptly put her back in detention when she was returned to Canada.

 

Tell Me Lies:  Nothing says bad parent quite like casting Peggy Bundy.  I laughed when Lucy tried to insist she had the worse mother.  Sure she may have forked another dude while your father was dying, but it is not like she sits on the couch all day eating Bon Bon’s.  But I really missed the side characters this week.  I really came to the realization this week that Stephan and Lucy may be my two least favorite characters on the show. But Lucy finding Stephan’s drawing at Macy really made me wonder when those pictures on his computer are from.  I was thinking they were taken at college, but now I am not sure.  But if they were taken while they were still in high school, that would make her very underage at the time.

 

Survivor:  Oh wow, I do not remember the last time the most annoying person went out first.  Usually annoying people are kept around because they are easy to beat at the final Tribal.  Okay, it was actually her clothing choice that was annoying; the elevator salesman probably had the more annoying personality.  I am just glad I do not have to spend most of the season staring at that rainbow outfit after having to look at that extremely annoying ostrich shirt for most of last season.

 

Stargirl:  I have been defending Shiv’s innocence all season, but now that she is growing her father’s dragon skin, the same time of dragon skin found at the crime scene.  Though, I do wonder if maybe there is a Jekyll and Hyde thing going on.  Or maybe her dead father is somehow taking over her conscience.

 

Resident Alien: So they killed off the alien tracker right after he found his kid?  That was cruel.  So what exactly happened to the kid?  Id the reason why the aliens stopped taking the tracker to his kid because the government captured him?  But where are the aliens that had him in the first place?

 

Big Sky:  I forget what happened to the Indians and why their henchman is now with Meadow Soprano, but Reba McIntire is a massive downgrade.  But obviously she was going to turn out to be the big bad of this season; it looks like she went into her plastic surgeon and asked for The Joker.

 

The Most (and Least) Anticipated Questions of 2022-23 Television

 

The start of the television season is upon us, though it feels like it already started as many big shows started last week.  Though, it reality, it feels like the television season did not even end with a constant stream of notable shows popping up during what typically been a barren wasteland for scripted television.  But I digress.  The unofficial start of the television season is when I like to ask a couple questions that hopefully get answered by the end of the season… if the season actually ever ends in the era of streaming.

  

      1.       Who Will Win the IP War: Marvel, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars?  Labor Day is when temperatures start to fall with the unofficial end of summer, but things are already heating up on television.  We have three episodes of She-Hulk and House of the Dragon as well as two episodes of Rings of Power.  Then the day before the official first day of fall, Andor premieres.  Marvel, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars represent the three biggest names on television right now (sorry DC and Walking Dead who also recently launched less buzzworthy shows).  HBO says Hot D got 10 million viewers for its premiere and increased that for the second episode.  Then Prime said 25 million people watched Ring (though a bit apples to oranges because Hot D was just Americans and Rings were worldwide).  The Ploose did not give out She-Hulk numbers, but something called Samba TV claims 1.5 million households watched the premiere, but again households to people can be apple to oranges).  That viewership went up seems like Hot D is currently in prime position to win the IP wars.  The low states comedy of She-Hulk will probably come in last with Andor being the dark horse.  The last two Star Wars shows were not well received but Rogue One was one of the bright spots of the Disney era Star Wars properties.  But what is clear, there will be a round two.

      2.       Who the Fork Is Lottie Matthews?!?  Fewer things got me more hyped while watching television over the past year than listening to Natalie’s voice mail on Yellowjackets when her AA sponsor found out who emptied Travis’s bank account and asked her, “Who the fork is Lottie Matthews.”  Sure, my theory that Lottie was Pit Girl went out the window, but considering how Lottie went from a background character to a crazy Antler Queen, I am not disappointed.  If she could go off the rails after a couple months, just how crazy has she become twenty-five year later?  Unfortunately the show already spoiled her acolyte Van is still alive when they announced Lauren Ambrose has been cast as an adult version.  Elijah Wood has also been cast, but thankfully not as adult Javi in another spoiler, but as one of Misty’s Citizen Detectives.

      3.       What Now on The Handmaid’s Tale?  After three seasons of torture porn, June actually managed to escape Gilliad last season and celebrated by brutally murdering Commander Waterford.  So what do you do after escaping and killing your capture?  Well, June still needs to rescue her daughter who is still in Gilliad.  Hopefully that does not take three seasons to accomplish.  And while the Commander is dead, his widow is still very much alive.  Though one person we will not be seeing is Emily who has been written off the show.  Though no big loss as she had not added much to the show after escaping back in season two.

      4.       Will Dr. Ben Seong Run Into Dr. Samuel Beckett?  For years I have been asking for a Quantum Leap reboot with Sam playing the Al role.  While we are getting a Quantum Leap reboot, the leaper is still a dude and the Al sand in will be played by Ernie Hudson.  Sigh.  Now the question is, will the new leaper eventually run into Sam?   Here is hoping he will and it will be sooner rather than later.

      5.       Who Killed Pail Rudd and When Will We Find Out?  Much like the first season of Only Murders in the Building ended with a teaser of a new murder, season two ended will Paul Rudd dying on stage shortly after having a tense exchange with Charles Hayden Savage and a notably shaken Mabel in shock.  Was Mabel the “she” Charles told Paul Rudd to stay away from?  The list of alternatives is not very long.  Lucy is too young but could Lucy’s mom be back in the picture.  Then there is the question of when will the third season premiere.  Season two actually arrived two months earlier than the first, could we get the third season two more months earlier?  That would put it in late April.  For Emmy reason, it is doubtful, but the Emmy window ending in late May, a premiere around that time does not seem out of the question.  Then the other question remains, if Paul Rudd was murdered on stage, will they need to change the name of Only Murders in the Building?

 

As the great philosopher Butt-Head once pondered, how would we know if something was cool if there weren't things that sucked; here are the five least anticipated questions

      1.       Who Will Survive the Walking Dead?  It is the end of the era, after ten seasons, the last as which was split into three parts; The Waling Dead is coming to an end.  So who will survive?  Well, Daryl and Carole have already been announced for a spin-off show (though Carole dropped out) as well as one with Maggie and Negan so I am guess those four survive unless those shows will just be those zombiefied four around eating stupid humans.  Actually, that may actually be better than what we will likely get.

      2.       Who Will Survive The CW Sale?  It was a bloodbath last spring when The CW canceled three of its female fronted superhero television shows (Stargirl was lucky in that it had not aired yet).  The Flash has already been announced for a final season which will leave just Stargirl, Superman, and the upcoming Gotham Knights as the lone superhero shows.  Will any of them or the other low performing show make the cut after the new owners have full control?  Who care, no one will likely watch either way.

      3.       Who Will Survive the HBO Max / Discovery Merger?  The new CEO comes in, axes the almost completed Batgirl and the internet turns into Chicken Little.  Someone even claimed HBO Max would stop making originals and current originals would move to HBO.  Stupid people.  While this month HBO Max will premiering… um, just about nothing, a sizzle real that launched with Hot D promises new seasons of Pennyworth (coming next month) Titans, Doom Patrol, Hacks Minx, Our Flag Means Death, coming soon.  Okay, the only new show is some new show with Elizabeth Olsen based on a story Hulu already did earlier this year.  So the merger may mean less content coming from HBO Max / Discover, but in an era of too much television, that may not be such a bad thing

      4.       Who Will Survive NBC Axing the 10:00 Hour?  This rumor just hit the internet recently launching a thousand Jay Leno jokes.  But if NBC does end up axing six hours every week, what will be left?  Sadly, it will probably not be what historically NBC has done best: comedies.  They are no sitcoms premiering this month, though Young Rock and some George Lopez show are coming to Fridays in November.  But losing 10:00 would also mean no full nights of Chicago or Law and Order shows.  Though what will become of ambitious shows like La Brea that NBC tries every year?  What surprises me about this is that linear television is still very profitable and NBC’s streaming sister, Peacock is the one that seems to be struggling the most.  It seems like a very poor business move.  But if we get less procedurals, maybe that will not be such a bad thing.  Speaking of which…

      5.       Just How Many Spin-Off Are There?  Law and Order and Chicago are not the only shows that dominate an entire night, FBI, All-American, and Walker all take up a full day of programing.  NCIS and The Rookie do have shows on different nights while Grey’s Anatomy takes up multiple timeslots on Thursday .  Surprisingly we are down to just the original CSI this fall.  Who are watching all these shows and their spin-offs?

 

Here is everything I will be watching this fall... Why the fork are there so many shows on Wednesdays?  How about spreading things out?

Mondays

8:00 – The Neighborhood (CBS, September 19(

9:00 – Kevin Can Fork Himself (AMC, already started)

10:00 – Quantum Leap (NBC, September 19)

 

Tuesdays

Reboot (Hulu, September 20)

9:00 - La Brea (NBC, September 27)

 

 Wednesdays

Wedding Season (Hulu, September 7)

Tell Me Lies (Hulu, September 7)

The Handmaid’s Tale (September 14)

Andor (Disney+, September 21)

Pitch Perfect: Bumper in Berlin (Peacock, November 23)

8:00 – Stargirl (The CW, already started)

8:00 – Survivor (CBS, September 21)

8:30 – The Goldbergs (ABC, September 21)

9:00 – Abbott Elementary (ABC, September 21)

10:00 – Big Sky (ABC, September 21)

 

Thursdays

Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount+, already started)

She-Hulk (Disney+, already started)

The Lord of the Ring: The Rings of Power (Prime, already started)

A Friend of the Family (Peacock, October 6)

8:30 – Ghosts (CBS, September 29)

 

Fridays

Ramy (Hulu, September 30)

8:00 – Young Rock (NBC, November 4)

 

Sundays

9:00 – House of the Dragon (HBO, already started)

9:00 – The Walking Dead (AMC, October 2)

10:00 – Let the Right One In (Showtime, October 9)