57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Well that was the most boring Groundhogs Day homage ever. At least they let us now Ethan Embry was the young boy by the end of the episode because it was pretty obvious who the young boy would grow up to be. But this begs the question, is has his father remain in suspended animation like the rest of Storybrooke all this time or is old enough to join AARP now? Presumably he has been hanging out in the dungeon Belle was all these years.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: So much for no more distractions. Now Emily has multiple distractions between her foster brother and whatever Jack is up to.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: The show really does not know its audience when it does an Andrea-centric episode.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: The sad thing is, I do not think Frank becoming a gay icon even ranks in his top five most offensive scams.

House of Lies: Wait, did Clyde actually develop a conscience? He would be the last in the pod that I thought would feel bad that he orphaned a kid.

Vikings: When the previews showed the Vikings invading English speaking countries I wondered how the show would deal with the language barrier. Two episodes later and the answer is a resounding not very well. Sometimes they both speak English and not understand each other and this week they have both parties subtitled and not understanding each other. They should have just kept the Vikings speaking English and just have the English speak Gaelic or some other dead language. But I do like the new relationship between Ragnar and the priest. He is a much more interesting foil to Ragnar than the Earl is.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

How I Met Your Mother: If Barney’s bed was not supposed to be an homage to Remote Control, I am going to go ahead and pretend it is.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: With the reintroduction of Gary Ewing and his wife, you have to wonder if TNT is toying with the idea of a Knot’s Landing reboot.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: Not The Killing bad, but I am still a bit disappointed with the killer’s reveal. I long wrote off Robert because I could not see him killing his own daughter after the lengths he went through to keep his son out of jail. And we still do not know why he killed her. Ugg.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I have predicting since the beginning of the show that Allison was still alive and later she was under the red hood despite her body being identified, and this is the closest thing to a confirmation with both Hanna and Mona seeing a not so dead Allison pulling them out of the fire. But I am not totally convinced what they saw was indeed Allison. But if it was, then were the other time the Liars saw Allison in dream like sequences, like when Aria was being drugged by her dad’s girlfriend, or when Emily was trapped in the barn when she was looking for the psychiatrist? And if Red Hood did not start the fire, does that mean Jenna, Melissa and the random lesbian who showed up last week (is she just a stand in because the actor they wanted was not available?) did do it? And is the start of a war between The A-Team and what I would like to coin The Dukes of Hazard (the second best television show of the eighties) with the Liars caught in the middle? And what the frack was in the trunk? Or should I be asking who?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: When it was shown that Drew skipped down on the 4:30 train I tho9ught why did Raylan not go with him instead stay in the principal’s office where he could get gunned down by Tonin’s thugs. I realized quickly that was a stupid question because of course Raylan is going to stick around and taunt Boyd and Tonin’s boys because he is Raylan Motherfracking Givins. If there is a hard way to do something, Raylan is going to do it. And that ended up being the best scene in the episode. Well that and Constable Bob getting beat to the sounds of Love Train. Actually, now that I type that out, I realized that was an awesome foreshadowing.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: It is hard not to think of Laura’s plea to her tribe two weeks ago saying they should keep her because strength would not necessarily translate to wins and you never know when there would be a twist. The next week the Fans lost the Reward Challenge even with Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 and were gifted Immunity when Brandon Hantz went, well, Brandon Hantz. Then the very next week, they switched up the tribes and now Sherri is stuck on a tribe with four Favorites and the only Fans with her are Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2. Speaking of Brandon, all he had to do was keep it together another day or two and he could have joined up with some Fan in a new tribe either vote Philip out or be in a tribe with no Philip. But that is not the Hantz way. And it is interesting that Douchebag #1 and Douchebag #2 managed to be on a tribe with the two on the outskirts of the Favorite tribe which makes you wonder if they stay loyal to the Favorites or jump ship. But after the challenge, they may never have to make that decision.

I do not know what was more surprising: that Special Agent Philip Sheppard admitting he never went to college, what exactly are the requirements for the FBI, or Julia spoke for the first time and was not voted off. I pegged her as the token contestant this season that does not get any screen time until the episode they are voted off. Maybe that will turn out to be Brenda this season. One more thing, Corrine’s love for gay homosexuals really bordered on creepy. I was really hoping that after one of her numerous comments on the subject the camera cut to Michael, who I not even remember up to this point even talking about his sexuality, who would say something like get this crazy chick away from me.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Subugatory: This season has not been as entertaining as the first mostly because they have chosen to focus too much on the adults (the show needs more Dalia) but it was almost worth the extra old people storylines just to hear George’s rock version of Bump N' Grind.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

The Americans: Well that was an interesting plot twist with Philip all but asking Elizabeth for a divorse. Although I do not agree with him that the KGB would agree with him that it would be okay because they are not really married in their eyes to begin with so there is no need to get a divorce. But as they slowly become more American (Philip even faster), I have to wonder at what point, if ever, do they switch side like suggested in the premiere.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 3/23/13

Quote of the Week: You should know that watching TV rots your brain. It’s your choice if you want to grow up and be stupid. Just saying. (Hannah Martin, Pretty Little Liars)

Song of the Week: Love Train – The O’Jays (Justified)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Bracket Busted Already: I had New Mexico going to the Final Four. Oops.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Justified "Peace of Mind" Tuesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Blowin' Smoke – Kacey Musgraves (iTunes)

New Album Release of the Week: Girl Who Got Away – Dido

New DVD Release of the Week: The Borgias: The Second Season

Video of the Week: Happy Endings returns a week from yesterday after ABC tried to burn it off on Sundays and the unceremoniously pulling it from the schedule all together. With its return, ABC has launched a Save Happy Endings campaign to promote its return which kind of reeks of the same promo “Death Slot” Fox had when they moved Fringe and that did not turn out too well (or maybe it did, I do not watch Fox or follow its news). And I wonder if the Save Happy Endings ad is actually for the viewers, but really aimed at TBS who saved their woefully bad and underwatched Cougar Town.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Voice, Monday and Tuesday at 8:00 on NBC: I was on the fence of watching this season of The Voice because of the coaching shake up. That was until I saw a promo featuring a dude playing an accordion during his blind audition. Considered me sold. But if he does not get anyone to turn around, I am out.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/17/13

Once Upon a Time: It was pretty silly that they tried to make us wonder who in the cast was going to die when it was quite obvious that Cora would be the one that perished. And that was before the flashbacks featured her (anyone who watched Lost knows if someone was going to die, it would be whosever flashbacks were that week).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: Emily claimed after Amanda’s funeral there would be no more distractions, the promo monkeys even made a marketing campaign around the saying, but it is hard to take the writers at their word when her foster brother shows up to her doppelganger’s funeral which I assume will be a pretty huge distraction next week. He better be gone soon some Emily can actually take down some more people this season. Come to think of it, I think the Grayson’s have taken down more people this season than Emily.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: It is too bad that the summit did not involve Hershel and Milton because their conversation was much more interesting. Adn I like how the two henchmen knew they were going to end up killing each other soon enough.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Vikings: There are plenty of ways to show just how evil a character is, but offering up your wife to someone to see if he is dumb enough to take you up on the offer is a new one. I kind of like it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

Dallas: I know some grumbled about disrespecting the memory of Larry Hagman by having fights breakout during the J.R. Ewing memorial and going the Who Murderer J.R. plotline, but the guy played J.R. Ewing, it would seems more disrespectful to not send him out with a bang. And I doubt Patrick Duffy and Linda Grey would have been a part of anything that would have disrespected Hagman’s legacy.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: The big question going into the finale is that Robert have Julian’s girlfriend killed because he thinks she killed his daughter or did he kill his daughter and she made a good scapegoat who now cannot defend herself in court, essentially closing the case. But Robert never struck me as someone who would kill his own family considering the lengths he went through to keep his son out of jail and to hide her pregnancy. I have pretty much thought from the beginning and still believe his wife was the one who killed Vivian because she threatened to tell Mia who her real mother was. Hopefully we get a definitive answer and not some lame fake out like The Killing because unlike The Killing, there will probably not be a second season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Wait, what? Spencer joined the A Team?!? Sure I have a feeling she just joining to be a mole to bring down the A Team from the inside, but still shocking nonetheless. But I still do not believe Toby is dead until I see something more than a fading tattoo. And why is it the only time the Liars are candy stripers is when they sneak into the morgue.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: I pretty much figured Thayer last week was behind the murders last week when he had to be the guy who burglarized Rebecca’s place, I just have not figured out why. Does the dude just have serious rage issues; killing Derek and then killing Teresa because she somehow found out? Then had the hubris to think he could pin it in Alec (who in turn thought he could pin it on Rebecca who herself thought could pin it on Alex; what a marriage). I also cannot figure out why Rebecca would throw Alex through the skylight. Unless she did not and Alec actually went so far as to throw himself through the skylight to make sure Rebecca gets pinned for all three murders. This is getting confusing.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: A bit of an anti-climatic episode after learning that Sherriff Shelby is Drew Thompson though it was nice to see Limehouse again. But I am intrigued about the next episode with the final line, “We just have to get out of Harlan alive.” Maybe they can sneak out in Wynn Duffy’s Wynnabego.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Note to CBS: Stop it with the Hantz family. This is the second time a tribe threw a challenge just to get rid of a person with the last name. The Favorites did not even go through the motions of throwing; they just showed up to the Immunity Challenge and said just take us to Tribal Council, something that has never happened before. I actually feared for the safety of the tribe, you could have told me Brandon raped Andrea, pushed Philip into the fire, or harmed himself in some way and I would have believed you. Seriousyl CBS, no more Hantz’s
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Neighbors: Usually television shows wait until they run out of ideas to do a musical number so I am a little worried about the quality of the rest of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Neighbors on iTunes.

The Americans: The length spies will go through to get their way. You had Philip’s former flame telling him he had a son just to manipulate him, Beeman’s asset sleeping with him, telling him there were no strings when there were strings all over the place. Who would have guessed Elizabeth’s crotch grab would be the tamest way of getting things done this week? And I have a sinking suspicion that, much like on Justified, Mags Bennett will only last one season.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Speaking of running out of ideas, I really hate when comedies try to force heavy subjects into their plots which always seems to happen. Although I would not mind a Very Special Episode like the ones in the eighties. There really are not any Very Special Episodes anymore.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: C’mon, if you are going to reference Memento, just go ahead and do a full Memento parody. Hopefully it was a hint of what is to come and Chang Kevin will be covered in tatoos next episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 3/16/13

Quote of the Week: First thing we are going to do is acknowledge this guy is awesome. He shoots Theo Tonin, fakes his own death in a spectacular fashion, pushes a guy out of an airplane while he’s flying it, parachutes into Harlem County with enough coke and cash to kick start the economy of a small country, and then he has the balls to get a job in law enforcement, not once, but two times. He’s spends a couple days riding around with you while you’re looking for him, and now he’s run off with a hooker that’s half his age. That’s some bad (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted). (Art Mullen, Justified)

Song of the Week: You Get What You Give – The New Radicals (Community)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: There Is a New Pope: Surprisingly about a month ago the pope stepped down for the first time in a couple centuries and this week the Catholics got a new pope who… eh, who cares, that was not even the biggest news on Wednesday. More on the real biggest news story in the Video of the Week segment.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Bates Motel premiering Monday at 10:00 on A&E

Free Download of the Week: No Sympathy – Eric Clapton (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Big Blu-Ray Blowout: Three Amigos, Pan's Labyrinth, Purple Rain

New Album Release of the Week: Same Trailer Different Park - Kasey Musgraves

New DVD Release of the Week: Zero Dark Thirty

Video of the Week: Forget you new pope, the biggest announcement this week was the launch of the Veronica Mars movie. The Kickstarter campaign broke records raising a million dollars in about four hours and reached its two million goal in ten and went up to three million in about thirty hours (the previous record raised for a film project total was only $808,000). Even if they did not reach their goal, it was just worth it to watch the hilarious accompanying video featuring Ronnie herself Kristen Bell along with Ryan Hansen (I’m not the one with the When in Rome (expletive deleted) you money), Jason Dorhing, Enrico Colanton, and creator Rob Thomas.


Even though they have already reached their goal, as Dick Casablancas explains, that will be their car chase and nudity fund. Rob Thomas has also thought about adding more big ticket rewards, of which Corbin Bernsen even offered his services for free (which is not complete implausible considering the shows love of eighties stars Harry Hamlin and Steve Guttenberg). So now the question is how much money will they raise; enough for a sequel? Trilogy? Maybe if they get enough extra cash, they could get Jessica Chastain to reprise her role or Amanda Seyfried can play Lily Kane’s long lost evil twin. And the question after that is what prematurely canceled show get a crowd sourcing movie? Shawn Ryan already said he was interested in how the Veronica Mars campaign goes as a possible way to get a Terriers movie (Zach Levi of Chuck and the dude behind Men of a Certain Age have also pondered the possibilities). I am slightly disappointed that the moment after Veronica Mars reached its goal that Jason Katims did not start a Friday Night Lights movie Kickstarter or Brian Fuller with Wonderfalls (or Pushing Daisies). Or Rob Thomas setting up another Kickstarter for a Party Down movie.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family: The last two season finales of Pretty Little Liars have revealed members of The A-Team with Mona and Toby. They jumped the gun this season as Spencer pulled out a black hoodie from her pillow case which makes me wonder just what is in store for this week’s finally. Will we finally learn who is under the red hood? Cee-Cee? A not so dead Allison? A not so dead Toby in a wig?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/10/13

The Walking Dead: One thing I really hated about Lost is that they would set up something, forget about it, and they finally pay it off long after everyone stopped caring. That was the case this episode when Rick finally ran into the dude who saved him in the series premiere. This meeting should have happened late in the first season or early in the third. But it was still one of the better episodes in the show as Rick finally met someone crazier than he is, but you got to love all the booby traps that crazy dude set up for the walkers and the barely living.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: I was wondering when Karen would pop up again. I figured after Lip gave her a call it would not be long. Though I cannot image she will stick around that long after learning how much it will take to care for her son and just let the grandparents fight over him.

Vikings: It dawned on me about half way through the episode it may not have been the best idea to do a basic cable version of Game of Thrones set in the real world. But the “This season on” package did leave me intrigued so I probably give the show another episode or two to win me over.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Vikings on iTunes

House of Lies: I never thought anyone could ruin a Kristen Bell Sex Tape, but they somehow managed to do that. Thanks House of Lies.

Switched at Birth: It is brave to try an all ASL episode, but I think it could have been better conceived. I thought maybe they would have a national day of silence in protest of the closing of Carlton. Or maybe follow a day in the life of Daphne or even Emmitt for a day. The way they did it seemed a little to force to avoid any spoken dialogue.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Dallas: It does not really mattered what happened in the first fifty-nine minutes, something about a silly car race, and the third Ewing brother made his first appearance in Dallas in about three decades, all that matters is the two gunshots that ended the episode. Any other show, it may have been in bad taste to murder off the character of an actor who died in real like, but in the case of Larry Hagman, it seems like a fitting tribute to send off J.R. Ewing with a murder mystery considering Who Shot J.R. was one of the biggest storylines ever in the history of television. I am sure next episode we will get a fitting tribute, but after that we will start for the hunt for J.R.’s killer. Since he was (supposedly) half the world away when he was shot, that rules out everyone in the main cast unless there was a time jump we are unaware of. Your probably have to put Cliff Barnes at the top of the list (but would he be so brazen, as the promo monkeys would have suggest, show up and taunt the death of his rival at his own funeral after killing him). Could Sue Ellen’s sister, who originally shot J.R., come back to finish the job? Um no, it turns out she overdosed and drowned in a pool during the original run. But maybe her son, Christopher finished what his biological mother started. Maybe Gary showing up in Dallas was not a coincidence. Or to tie it back into the modern day version, maybe one of Vincente’s buddies are set to avenge his death.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Well that was a completely random and completely shoehorned in celebrity cameo. At least tease that it would be possible that Missy Franklin could be A, put her in a red coat or something. But even worse, are they actually going to let Ezra teach again… in high school? What, what?!? Apparently even the principal knows something went on, how could he let this happen? Why will Ella work with a dude who sleeping with her high school daughter? These are the worst administrators and parents ever.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: So the dude in the black hoodie had to be Thayer right? Everything points to either Rebecca or Alec being the one who killed the one dude and kidnapped (and looks also killed) Teresa, but could Thayer be behind it the whole time? But then the question is why.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: Where most law enforcement shows are about who did it, Justified has almost always been a show where we knew who the criminal was early on with the show being much more about the chase. So it is not surprising that the show would unveil its first real long mystery with three episodes to go, maybe it is surprising they did not reveal who Drew Thompson was earlier. Although some could argue that they revealed that Sherriff Shelby was Drew last week when his conversation with Ellen May made it so obvious that I assumed it was going to be a red herring. So now Raylan, and Boyd and Theo Tonin, have three episodes to hunt down Drew. Oh, and Boyd has extra incentive to find him too because it looks like he took Ellen May with him.

It was surprising how funny this episode was considering it came in the wake of Arlo death. The shootout between Constable Bob and the white collar criminals was hilarious, Art’s tirade the kicked off the episode, Raylan still had his trademark wit, and of course all of Wynn Duffy’s reactions were priceless (I bet he did not think a federal agent would be making a house call with a federal prisoner). I was also surprised that the preacher’s sister finally reappeared and it did not involve her teaming up with Ellen May, instead she teamed up with Tim. Is Gutterson finally going to get some love on the show?
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: What a crime against humanity that the Fans voted out the three hot chicks right in a row. And it was completely short sided to get rid of Laura now, she definitely had the better argument in that you cannot trust Fratboy #1 or Fratboy#2 if they switch things up and keeping them will no way guarantee winning any challenges (and it was hypocritical of the Fratboys for saying they needed to keep a stronger team yet voted for Shamar, probably the strongest person on their team, twice in a row). And more importantly, how do you vote off the three hottest chicks in your tribe in your first three Tribal Councils? I am beginning to worry about the longevity of Andrea now.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Caramoan on iTunes.

The Neighbors: I feel bad for Jackie if the only song she has found on the planet Earth has been Semi-Charmed Life.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Neighbors on iTunes.

The Americans: Holy frack, Felicity just beat the crap out of Mags Bennett!!! Did not see that coming. I did see that they were being interrogated by the KGB, that was pretty obvious, it is way too early to for the United States government to be on to them (I will be surprised if that happens sometimes before the season finale).
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: A couple weeks Jeff Probst did a podcast with Chuck Closterman when Chuck asked Probst if Survivor rewarded mediocrity. His reasoning was simple: all the weak players get eliminated first, and then all the strong people get voted off after the merge, leaving the mediocre to win most seasons. I could not help think of that conversation while Celeste got crowned King of the Nerds. Going into the finals I thought Genevieve would sweep the vote, she was her team’s leader and won three Nerd Off’s while Celeste did not have one signature moment on the show, but mediocrity was awarded (two people weirdly mentioned Celeste’s “growth” as the reason for voting for her). Yawn.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 3/9/13

Quote of the Week: Nothing works under water, it’s a scientific fact. (Hannah Martin, Pretty Little Liars)

Song of the Week: Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind (as sung by the cast of The Neighbors)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Fun with Fillerbusters: There has been talk of reverting the fillerbuster, which now only takes forty votes to do, back to the old time having to read the phone books to block a law from passing. I doubt it will ever happen because yeah it will force the other side to talk for hours on end to block your bill, but then you would have to do the same for bills you do not like. But it was clear we need to reinstate the talking fillerbuster after Rand Paul talked for about thirteen hours to protest the nomination of John Brennan for the director of the CIA and his use of drones. Sure we are living in some bizarro world where Republicans are protesting the use of drones while democratic still by idly because you know if there were a President Mitt Romney, the Republicans would call the drone strikes patriotic while the Democratic would call Romney a war criminal, but it is always entertaining watching a dude talk for thirteen hours straight. To put that in perspective, Paul could have spent his entire fillerbuster quoting all the dialogue from all six Star Wars movies. fun times.

Preview Picture of the Week:

The Lying Game season Finale "To Lie For" Tuesday at 9:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Cercas Blancas EP – Needtobreathe (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This month’s five dollar deals include albums by Al Green, Jack White, Run-DMC, and Willie Nelson.


New Album Release of the Week: Old Sock - Eric Clapton

New DVD Release of the Week: Sound City

Video of the Week: The Hangover came out and was universally loved. Then The The Hangover Part II came out and was universally hated because it was just the first movie all over again, just set in Thailand. Even though no one wants a third one, I am sure even the people who were vehemently against the second one will still go see the “epic conclusion to the trilogy”. Supposedly there will actually be no blackouts in this movie where the Wolfpack has to piece together last night’s even while trying to hunt down Justin Bartha but there really are not many clues to what is going on in the new trailer. And poor Justin, he is always getting lost and does not even get one shot in the trailer, even his wife is in scene.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Dallas, Monday at 9:00 on TNT: An end of an era comes Monday with the funeral of J.R. Ewing. The episode will bring out some characters not seen since the original run including his half-brother (do not hold your breath that his other sons other than J.R. Jr. bother to show up) and to prove that all his exes still live in Texas, Sue Ellen has a powwow with some of J.R.’s other leading ladies. Even some of Dallas’s real life elite comes to pay tribute to the oilman including a returning Jerry Jones. And as the promo monkeys teased, even Cliff Barnes show up to pay his disrespect. Some will deal with the elder Ewing’s passing with alcohol, some with drugs, others with sex, while some will fight away the pain , while others will do all four. And do not turn off the episode after J.R. is lowered into the ground because one of the great characters in the history of television left his family with a couple of bombshells, the kind you do not put in a public will. All a fitting tribute to one of the greatest characters in the history of television.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 3/3/13

Shameless: When Papa Milcovich called in “The Russian” I thought, uh oh, those boys are in some real trouble. Nope, the Russian was just a prostitute brought in to sex the gay out of them. And that did not even rank in the top two most offensive parts of the show this week. Number one would be having sex with your mother-in-law while your wife gets you aroused because a turkey baster did not work. And then there was Frank holding his clean urine in his mouth for who knows how long.

House of Lies: I used to think the pre-teen stripper routine would be the most offensive dance sequence from Little Miss Sunshine would be the most offensive dance I would ever see involving kids, but now Roscoe and his posse takes the top spot. Congratulation… I think?

How I Met Your Mother: I really hope that some savvy producer saw this and realizes it is about time for a Weekend at Bernie's reboot (something I have pushed for the last couple years). Maybe even Judd Apatow who would go ahead and have Jason Segal play the Andrew McCarthy role (though it would be better to have someone like Seth Rogan take on Jonathan Silverman part instead of Ted Mosby). Then just bring in Jim Carrey as Bernie. It is a surprise no studio has yet hired me to run their reboot department.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: Only the Ewing’s would know the best way to overcome armed thugs would to fake(?) a fight with each other.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Bunheads: It was a little weird that after an entire episode about a group of girls thinking about losing their virginity, they choreograph a big dance sequence around Makin' Whoopie. And for those not sure what the difference between boys and girls, the girls plan for weeks, if not month or years, like in the episode, guys just want it to happen anywhere with anyone, preferably as soon as possible.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.

Castle: Not as cool as Liam Neeson’s “skills” speech, but I liked the French dude’s speech to the microphone on the wall. Too bad he turned out to be a chicken and had to die. And we finally got to meet papa castle (shame on the promo monkeys for spoiling that reveal last week), it was teased a couple seasons ago that he worked deep cover. And really, if Stana Katic ever got bored with the show, I would not a mind a Castle and Castle spy spin-off. Or throw in Alexis and make it Castle Cubed.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Deception: I really hope that it does not turn out that Julian’s booty called turned out to be Vivian’s murderer. That would be as dumb as Rosie Larson’s aunt accidentally killing her.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Plaster all those annoying phrases with the pound sign on the screen as much as you want, I do not believe that was Toby out in the woods until I see a face. I am more inclined to believe that was Detective Waldon under the cap. But my favorite part of the show was when Hanna pushed the cop car into the lake. I was really hoping that it would sink about a foot before she realized that lake was not deep enough to cover an entire car.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Lying Game: I am not surprised Ted would place flowers on the grave of someone who is blackmailing him, but I just do not see him as a murderer / kidnapper. I have a feeling it will turn out the Ted feals responsible for the death, he just did not do it himself.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Justified: Wow, they actually killed Arlo off. And what a way to go… out fighting but hanging on long enough to tell his son to kiss him somewhere unsanitary one last time. Awesome. So if you had Arlo in your Who Is Drew Thompson Office Pool, you may want to stop planning your cruise you were going to purchase with winning (which is probably for the best). Granted Arlo was always the least likely to be Drew. So that leaves (or the people we have seen this season) the three white collar criminals that Boyd is shaking down and Sherriff Shelby. But I do not know why they are spending so much time having the ex wife looking at pictures because wouldn’t Drew have had copious amounts of plastic surgery by now? Wait a second, could Wynn Duffy be Drew Thompason?
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I wonder if there was some heavy editing during the Immunity Challenge because why did they let Fratboy #2 to continue to try to throw the hook and keep missing when Fratboy #1 got it on his first try, and Shamar was also able to get it fairly quickly. But his inability was never brought up (which makes me think that it was heavy editing). Speaking of creative editing, I think it may have been some foreshadowing editing that Andrea talks about not telling the wrong person her plan to oust Corrine followed by her telling Brandon the plan. Did she not see his season? He blabbed his alliance’s secrets, what made her think he could keep a secret by someone he hates: i.e. absurdly attractive chicks.

Poor Shamar, he dumped on throughout Tribal Council, and probably rightfully so, but he was right in his memory of his conversation with Hope and all she had to do was just vote for Fratboy #2 and she would have stay. Granted it would had been awesome if there was a three way tie, and after a revote, a two-way tie which would had led to another revote.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: The neo-folk revival of Mumford and Sons have gotten so big that even Alex Dumphey is in a knockoff band. Actually I would not mind hearing more of the Eclectic Light Dorchestra.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I feel as if I just complained about this, but what chick really gives guys, “I am sorry someone close to you just died” sex? C’mon, this just does not happen. It was almost as weird as Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys showing up for Deacon’s birthday party to hit on Rayna fresh off her divorse.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: It may be a long slog to the inevitable death of this zombie show, but at least we got to see Annie in an Octoberfest costume before it was thankfully put out of its misery.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: As a stats nerd, I have to call shenanigans. The probability is astronomical that every time someone had a clear advantage (like Moo in both challenges this week as a NASA employee) throughout the show has lost. Every single time. Either the show is playing up the strengths of each contestant or there is some manipulations going on behind the scenes. As for a prediction for who will win next week, I am going with Genevieve.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Wow, eyeless girl was creepier than anything on The Walking Dead this week. Although will Mr. Gold be willing to get rid of his grandson just because he will be his downfall? Stupid question, this is a guy who let his son slip through a portal alone just to keep his powers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: It was pretty obvious that the person at the bottom of the boat would turn out to be the evil dock guy, but I never would have guessed that he would take Amanda down with him. After she had Jack’s baby, I assumed she would be here for the long haul of the show. Hopefully this inspires Emily to get back to taking people down again and stop with all this slow and boring cooperate espionage that has gone on this season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: I thought crazy Rick stopped after he realized he was getting phone calls from beyond the grave. Ugg. And all the zombies that came out of that delivery truck might as well all had wigs on because that was essentially a clown car.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: Of course child services shows up at the most chaotic time ever on the show. It will be hard for to get the Gallagher’s to get out of this one, but I have a feeling the inept worker will help them out inadvertently or not. And can you really get pregnant with a turkey baster? I always that that was an urban legend.

House of Lies: Uh, oh, Veronica Mars went on a blind date with the Hearst rapist this week. Hopefully she will be back next week with all her hair.

How I Met Your Mother: I am too lazy to even bother to think about it, but I am pretty sure the show has done the three stories from three perspectives before, probably multiple times, and it it gets less interesting every time. With that said, I kind of want to watch this episode again just to see of Barney’s Austrian king actually shows up in the background somewhere.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I had the new girl pegged to be a mole, she was acting a little too weird, but I would not have guessed that she would turn out to be the opponent’s daughter. But will Toby be able to use that to his father’s advantage?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

Bunheads: I did not think the show could top the weirdness Istanbul dance from last summer, but I think they may have done so with the dancing miners.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Bunheads on iTunes.
2 Broke Girls:

Castle: I was going to take this time to make numerous Taken jokes, but the promo monkeys already beat me to it with the previews showing an upcoming Liam Neeson joke. Hurmph.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Do people in the suburbs really have shower / spas like that in their homes? I defiantly need one.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Go On: I am really ready for Simone to go back to wherever she came from.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Justified: The video that Jody made for Raylan (with the aid of Paul Kinsey!) was so entertaining I will completely ignore that he really never had the time to make said video (or how implausible that basically every episode this season so far took part in less than a week). Also the show could use more Jackie Nevada. I take her over Ava, Wynona, or the barmaid from earlier this season. If you cannot get enough of Nevada, I highly recommend Raylan the book (see my review here), this episode is basically the end of the book, except there was no doubt if Raylan got any. Then again, in my experience, whenever a girl leaves the bathroom door open when she takes a shower, it is a sign she wants you to join her. Okay, that has never actually happened to me.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: I really like the trend of people outing other people at tribal council who have a Hidden Immunity Idol. I do not like the trend of people claiming that they are going to use said Idol but keep it in their pocket. I also do not like how the “Player of the Week” commercial is almost always spoilery. When both Laura and Douchebag #1 (not to be confused with Douchebag #2 whose name I also have no desire to learn) were up for the award, you knew they were going to do something but they did nothing interesting before then. I am usually good at skipping the ad, but the show really needs to move it to the last commercial break to avoid such spoilers.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites on iTunes.

Modern Family: Holy Bud Bundy sighting! T is a shame that it took Al this long to get his son some work.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Americans: It is weird watching this episode with all the paranoia that the Russians were behind the shooting of Ronald Regan when we now know that some crazy dude did it just to impress Jody Foster (I hear she’s currently single). I guess the closes thing similar that I can think of was when the power went out here and most of the northeastern part of the United States right after 9/11 and everyone thought it was another terrorist attack, but just turned out that our power grid just sucks. And a decade later, they still have not fixed it.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: I am now convinced the new showrunners are just fracking with us between the Stockholm Syndrome attempt and Luke Perry and Jennie Garth ruining Inspector Spacetime. This is going to be a long final season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: It is weird that for a show entitled King of the Nerds, that there is only one guy that remains even though the game started out with more guys than girls. I guess it may not be all that surprising that a bunch of male nerds would get flustered with chicks around, losing ever head to head gender battle in the Nerd Off. Now will the chicks band together to make sure Ivan (like when Parvati won Survivor) or with the self implode and let the guy win (like that season with Eliza)? Actually come to think of it, has there ever been an all male final on Survivor? (Researching… It has happened three times out of twenty-five seasons; five were all female)

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/17/13

Once Upon a Time: So Jack of the beanstalk fame was a chick? Alrighty. About as realistic as watching Hurley trying to run. I also like the promo monkeys making it sound like the reveal of Mr. Gold’s son is going to eb a shocking reveal as anyone who has watched has already figured out that his son is also Henry’s baby daddy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: It is common knowledge that the second season of the show just is not as entertaining as the first. I would argue that the Jump the Shark moment was when it was revealed that it was not Daniel who died as witnessed during the series premiere but the Rent Boy instead. And it looks like the show is going to pull that cheap storytelling again this season as it was teases that Jack would end up at the bottom of the ocean at some point but will not actually pull it off as I bet the evil dock owner is the one that will end up dead. Hurmph.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: So after coherently invading Woodbury and successfully saving Glen, Maggie, and then Daryl, Rick is bat-ish crazy again. Yep, seems right. Welcoming back The Walking Dead.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: Just when you think the show has run out of new ways to offend the audience, a third Malkovich child shows up with an extra package. Apparently nothing came out of Frank calling child services a couple weeks ago, but I am beginning to think maybe a representative should start showing up on set.

House of Lies: I try to avoid anything that involves Matt Damon and got tired of actors playing a douchebag version of themselves a long time ago, but this may have been the most entertaining episode of the show yet.

Switched at Birth: Is it wrong that I started yelling “Deaf Fight!!!” during this episode? Please do not answer that, I already know the answer.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched At Birth on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Just when you think this was going to be another episode where the writers beat an already not very funny joke into the ground, out walks Mike Tyson. Well done writers, well done.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: I wonder why Ryland and his mother are perpetrating Bobby lie that he shot him. Does Ryland actually not remember and his mommy told him who shot him? As much as they hate Anne, why not let her rot in jail?
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Deception: O wow, I was actually right that the dude from the John Laraquette Show was actually Mia father. And now I am beginning to think he killed Edward’s one night stand to have leverage over the Bowers family. But even if the statute of limitations of statutory rape runs out after five years, would accessory to murder still get him jail time. I may just have to move him up on my list of suspect to number two after step-mommy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Huh, it looked like Jason’s flashback was going to show what happened after Mr. Montgomery got threatened by Allison and then Spencer’s sister walked out of her house, but instead of Allison, Jason saw… CeCe? Huh? Maybe it is CeCe is the red coat that is the Master A. And where did Jason go? Unles the Liars are that unobservant that h would just slip by, did he really jump out of the window after falling down an elevator shaft?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: I guess I was not the only one who thought Major Dad was also Drew Thompson. Granted until I see his high school wrestling pictures under the name Josiah, I would be highly suspicious that he still is. But if Major Dad is not Drew Thompson, who is? Since the show like to recycle its guest stars, I have a feeling we have already met him (for half a second, I actually thought that Arlo may be Drew Thompson, but Raylan is too old to not know his father changed his name). Could it be the half naked judge from News Radio? Sherriff Shelby? Constable Bob? Wynn Duffy? Please oh, please let it be Dewey Crowe.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Nashville: I wonder if Gunner and Scarlett ditch Avery’s band just like Avery did. They get wind that Rayna may want to sign them, and no mention of the other guys. I guess with a show with this name, someone needs to stay in Nashville.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Americans: Holy Mags Bennett sighting! You knew when Mags showed up in dinner, she was not going to be just some random creepy chick; the only question would be if she were KGB or FBI (or some other three letter agency). It turns out she is the new KGB boss and has no problem killing a chick. But I guess that was the only reasonable outcome (again showing again just how soft the Jennings are getting), with the kid going to his grandparents in Mother Russia.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Note to the new showrunner: no more Scary Annie please.  It is not brain surgery, put her in highly GIF-able situations.  No need to over-think things when it comes to her.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/10/13

How I Met Your Mother: They really should have saved most of the Abby Elliot (I wonder if she is going to run into her real life father and Lily’s fake dad) storyline for next week and devoted ninety-five percent of the episode to Robin Sparkles Daggers. The show is always at its best when it makes fun of Canada, and Robin’s Underneath the Music was the most memorable skit this show has done in recent memory. Hats off for getting Dave Coulier to come in and insist the song is not about him in a not so subtle nod to the rumor that Alanis Morissette’s You Oughta Know is about him. Now if only Bob Saget can get Kimmie Gibbler out of retirement.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Dallas: Well that was an ending I did not see coming. Assistant Director Skinner finally makes the title sequence, and then gets gunned down. Unfortunately that pretty much spoils if he survives the gunshot. Although that would be a great misdirect if they put him in the credits only to kill him off in episode three. (Rumor has it Joss Whedon wanted to put Eric Balfour in the credits of Buffy the Vampire Slayer only to kill him off in the two part series premiere but was not allowed because of financial reasons.)
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: Apparently the NYPD needs to hire me as a consultant because it seems like I am always one step ahead of their investigation. Like this week, as soon as they found the car, my first thought was why would someone kill someone else in front of their car and not use it to transport the body instead leaving the car there with plenty of incriminating evidence inside for a day or two.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Deception: Wait, Mia’s real father cannot possibly be the dude from the John Laraquette show, can it? It has to be him or someone we have not met yet (unless they want to go even ickier and make Julian the father).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Deception on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: I’m with Spencer, (in only one respect), there is no reason to eulogize Alison again. They did it at her last funeral and presumably when she first went missing and presumed dead. I am not with Spencer for going crazy just because she learned her creepy boyfriend, that she believed less than a year ago killed one of her friends, turned out to really be evil. And finally someone on the show actually stated a theory that I have had since the first episode when Hannah, who of course has always been my favorite, actually questioned if Allison is actually alive. Who else could have been the blonde in the red coat? CeCe? Everyone else on the show I can think of has dark hair except the chick Emily dated a couple of seasons ago.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: Last week I pondered how long it would be until Ellie May teams up with the preacher’s sister to exact revenge on Boyd. Maybe the preacher’s sister is insignificant as Ellie May ended up in the sheriff’s house this week as the lawman looks like he wants to go legit and bring down the Crowder Empire. This would be much more interesting than what I thought was going to happen (though I have a feeling that we have not seen the last of the sister).

I got a sinking suspicion that Josiah may turn out to be Drew Thompson. C’mon, you do not bring in Major Dad to be a dude who sends out his daughter to steal pipe. And what better reason to cut off your own foot if a ruthless druglord who you stole money from is close on your tail? (I always thought the home monitors had heat sensors so such things could not occur, maybe I watch too many of these types of shows.) So either Major Dad is Drew Thompson or the real Drew I the person that kidnapped him.

It was also nice to see shocked Wynn Duffy back. His reactions were always the best and watching the dude from Yes Dead shoot an FBI agent in the head was another classic Wynn look.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Modern Family: I do not like how they made a joke out of Cat's In the Cradle, one of the greatest tales ever recorded in the history of storytelling.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Subugatory: It is amazing how close to racism they can get away with. That is not to say I did not enjoy Triple A. I actually would not mind more trips to East Chatswin. But I wondered why Dallas just did not sell off enough of her East Chatswinian land to make her a majority Chatswin Proper resident.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Nashville: Ooo, the show totally put Taylor Swift on blast with Juliet’s storyline this week. Btu it is weird they are trying to turn her into a real artist when at the start of the series they had to auto-tune her in the studio. Now she is singing acoustically live… with no back up dancers? Pretty soon she will be touring with The Lumineers.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: Kind of clever of the new showrunners to have a tongue in cheek “regular” sitcom inside the show, but they went one joke too far with Inception parody.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: Genevieve definitely had reason to hate on Kevin Smith because he jobbed her in that debate. She won that debate going away. Oh well, at least she won the Nerd Off. Seriously, how are you dubbed the “Batman Expert” and lose a comic book trivia challenge? Even I was able to get two questions right and I am not an expert or even studied. Granted one I just guessed, but I was able to guess the right year Superman was introduced before the choices were even announced.