57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/27/14

Orphan Black: (Please not this is a review of last week's episode) I watched the first season over the course of about a week last summer and it is always a little weird when you switch from marathoning to weekly watching. I was ready to watch a new episode the next day but alas, that is not an option when you watch it like. I need my soccer mom fix. Much like the first season, Alison stole the premiere with the three most entertaining scenes: using her mace and rape whistle, her community theater production, and getting a piece for Sarah (and how she delivered it to her).
You can download Orphan Black on iTunes.

Once Upon a Time: So Cora orchestrated her daughter to be married to a dude she used to be engaged to? Eww. Maybe that séance should have taken place on Springer. And I am starting to think the Wicked Witch’s spell is going to succeed, just not the way she wants. I predicted that they will go back far enough to save Neil, but not far enough for the Wicked Witch to kill Snow White’s mother.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Last week it seemed like Don was still on his indefinite hiatus but the partners make it seem that he was fired but still on the payroll. Are they keeping him around just to keep him from going anywhere else? And just when you thought Don’s life could not get any more depressing, he gets fully dressed at 8:00 just to meet with his secretary who he has spying for him.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

Crisis: Ever since it was hinted that the kidnappers had an overall noble endgame (show the CIA’s evil super-soldier program) I figured it was only a matter of time before they would team up with the FBI. I am guessing the ending is the start of that where they help each other out and slowly turn the CIA into the bad guys.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Crisis on iTunes.

The Voice: Yep, I am pretty much done with this season. Hopefully they find some actual interesting singers next season. But as the last three seasons have played out, I get the sence the show is not interested in those types of singers anymore.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

The Blacklist: After he promos, I was expecting a better fight between Mr. and Mrs. Keen than that. You could even see Tom check himself whe hitting Lizzie with the chair.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: When agent Ward turned heel, I had a sinking suspicion that he would eventually turn out to be a triple agent and he just stunned Agent Hand and all the others he “killed.” That I getting less likely after wiping the blood of Agent Koenig from his strangling wire. But why bring in Patton Oswaltt only to kill him a week later. Oh well, at least next week has Robin Scherbatsky!
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: After teasing it about a month ago, we finally learned what “special powers” the new Idol has and it is extremely stupid. Basically Tony can play the Idol even after the votes are read. Now we know Tony will not be voted off because he calls pull out his Idol even after the votes have been read ruining all suspense. At least with the regular Idol there is the suspense of will someone use it or not, if they give it away, will they give it to the right person, a lot of different scenarios. Now we know if Tony is targeted, he is safe no matter what. This is so stupid. They have rolled out plenty of stupid ideas on Survivor, but "Special Idol" may overtake Redemption Island as dumbest of all.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Yeah, communist going to church went about as well as I expected it to. But I did not think Philip actually went to the church to actually beat up the minister, I thought he was just going to steal the money back. But the minister calling him out for his anger issues actually worked.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Bad Teacher: Dick Casablancas, Antoine Meriwether, and Dr. Dre deserved better than this.
You can download Bad Teacher on iTunes.

The Challenge: Free Agents: I stopped watching The Real World circa Las Vegas, the first one, but I do listen to Grantland’s The Right Reason’s podcast so I had high hopes for “Hurricane” Nia. Unfortunately she was not even a high wind warning. Even during the After Show she seemed like the normal one next to Jasmine. This has to be the biggest bust since Jamarcus Russell. At least she gave us a good quote on her way out, “You don’t go for 85 minutes and not wimp out. That is over an hour and a half.”
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: This is the best looking show on television, but that whole home invasion scene just came off as clunky, it just never felt very well paced. The season itself has seemed to hit a lull after Will was released from prison and now we wait until Jack confronts Hannibal from the season premiere flash forward.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/13/14

Once Upon a Time: So the Wicked Witch took Prince Charming’s courage, tried to take Regina’s heart. So who’s brain will be targeting? And when she gets the three she will be able to go back in time so she can be the one that executes Rumplestiltkin’s curse. Huh?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: I have long said that no one is really dead on television until you see a body (and even then so, I still give it a ten percent chance they somehow return), so when Jimmy went off to his certain doom, I still assumed he was alive until his corpse washed up along the shores of Lake Michigan. But the writers did wait long enough that I completely forgot about him and snuck him in after the credit so some people may have missed his return. But it looks like we will have to learn a third name for the character because his new female companion called him a new name.

Resurrection: What the frack just happens? Caleb is thirty and then just disappears. Is gone for good or will him and the other be back and forth through time?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

House of Lies: Oh wow, Marty Kaan out of Kaan and Associates. I did not see that coming. But much like this past season where it looked bleak that the pod would all be reunited at Kaan and Associates, I have a feeling the writers will find a way for Marty to get back into the fold by the third episode of next season.

The Voice: Of course Team Blake went first because that was the most obvious of all the teams. As soon as I heard that the Playoffs were no longer live back during the first Battle Rounds, I figured those would be his final three. There was an outside chance that Blake could have dumped one of his two country singers for Madilyn Paige, but alas, Madilyn is yet another early fan favorite sent home before anyone could vote on her. Sadly she could have easily have been top three on any other team, and undoubtedly gone further than anyone still on Shakira’s team.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: After debating on whether to watch or skip to avoid spoilers from Captain America I went ahead and watched (I may have been one of the view because ratings were way down; in retrospect, ABC / Disney / Marvel probably should had scheduled so the episode before the movie was the season finale). There were some spoilers like the rise of Hydra and Nick Fury’s death but things looked dire for him in the preview at the end of the last episode (not that I believe he is really dead because you do not kill off Sam Jackson; the only question is if he faked his death or if he took a trip to Tahiti). The show did have a nice fake up making me think Victoria Hand was secretly Hydra only for John Garrett being the turncoat. But Agent Ward turning out to be Hydra was much less surprising, I saw that coming as soon as he adamantly volunteers to escort Garrett.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: The Crowe storyline played out much like I expected it, Wendy turned on Daryl and he would end up dead or in jail. What I did not expect was how much time they spent setting up the next and final season. But just as it should be, next season will be Raylan vs. Boyd with Ava in the middle. After its weakest season, the show is angling to go out on its best (though I doubt anything with come close the Mags Bennet season).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: I am beginning to think the show is actively trying to make this season even worse than Redemption Island. Hopefully Morgan wears a screw you dress to every Tribal Council from here on out.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: Every time I hear about someone taking a polygraph test, I am always taken back to the Beavis and Butt-Head episode where they hold their breath to beat the test. How did the duo not know of the squeezing your anus technique to cheat on the test?
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Well that was stupid. If it were not for Annie’s treasure map dance, that would have been one complete waste of a half and hour.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: I do not remember anything from this week’s episode because the only thing I remember is the promo of a now blond Haddie making out with a chick. After a black dude and a chick, she is a Republican away from the Berkley parent nightmare trifecta.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

The Challenge Free Agents: We get a new format this season which turned out to be a combination of the previous formats: they will play as teams one week, small groups other, duos, and individually. I kind of like not the make up from week to week and limits the dominance of one alliance. I do wish they would switch to Survivor type voting because as is the latter voters just end up voting the inevitable. Or even better, have everyone write down a name at the same time and then reveal the names one by one to the group so those voting first do not determine what the latter voters do. And while I am making suggestions, can we please have a moratorium on Bananas and CT and just never ask Cara Maria back.
You can download The Challenge: Free Agents on iTunes.

Hannibal: Last week I pondered if Hannibal planned on Jack finding Miriam or was that his first slip up. Of course Hannibal orchestrated. How he took down Dr. Chilton was awe inspiring. Sully was the only smart person on this show and got out out Dodge without a trace once realizing who Hannibal was.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/16/14

Once Upon a Time: Since everyone who gets more than one line is inevitably going to turn out to be a fairy tale character so from the first moment I assumed Emma’s new boyfriend was not who he said he was. Since the promos that reran ad nausea hyped the debut of the Wicked Witch of the (presumably) West, my first guesses were Oz related: maybe the Wizard himself, or The Scarecrow, Tin Man, or Cowardly Lion. Surprisingly we did not have to wait a season or two to find out who the boyfriend was as at the end of the episode he turned into a fracking bad CGI flying monkey. Awesome. (On a side note, when is NBC going to reboot Quantum Leap with Christopher Gorham, that dude can easily pass off as Scott Backula’s kid.)
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Did we finally learn what Rick’s three questions for joining the group that was that was hinted way back in the season premiere? Daryl did ask Bob three questions when they met: 1) How many zombies have you killed? 2) How many humans have you killed? 3) Why?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Resurrection: From the promos, the show did not look all that good, but I was intrigued by how they would explain it all. Except my sources tell me that the book the show is base on does not actually explain why these people come back. I did find the premiere compelling, but I am not sure how the story plays out over a whole season, let alone a series. And if there is no answer, that will be very frustrating. But I will probably stick with it because it is currently stuck right between my hate watching ABC Sunday’s schedule.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Resurrection on iTunes.

Revenge: So Nico captures Aiden and can easily avenge her father’s death (which make the show much better because the show has been on a steep slide since introducing Aiden) but instead concocts some James Bond villain sinister plan to kill his love in front of him before killing him. Of nothing goes as plan, and instead of Emily killing Nico, she is allowed to weirdly slink out the loft. Then you have Victoria killing her baby daddy and Conrad’s first wife is Jack’s mother. Ugg. Just end this show now.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Voice: So the Blind Auditions are done and not one singer really worth caring about. I may be out on this season faster than I was last one. But since I made it though the first round, my first, and maybe only, Power Rankings of the season will be posted tomorrow.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: So Lilly paid the bartender a lot of money to make sure she always has a non-alcholoic drink in her hand this weekend? Ugg, just end this show already.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: The reason why we have not seen any of Marvel’s big named heroes was evident this week (well other than obvious monetary reasons). This was hyped as the Lady Sif episode, but really, it turned out to be more Lorelei-centric. And as it is with the movies, the villains are much more interesting and in the short time you have in an episode, you have to focus on the bad guy. If they brought in a bigger name than Sif, the show would have to self most of the cast to fit them in (Skye already spent most of this episode in bed). But I would not mind a Lady Sif spin-off.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: So Ezra thinks that A is Allison’s mother who is trying to make is safe for her to come back to Rosewood, but Allison verified her mother does not know she is alive. After a very heavy handed season, next week’s Ally Tells All episode better actually tell all. And let me go ahead and guess that the person under the mask is Mona (assuming it is not Allison at the beginning of the episode).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: Finally, Raylan has found a law enforcement agent as prickly as him, but before you suggest he get transferred to the Memphis DEA office, Dewey Crowe had to go and run over him before Danny could test out the twenty-one foot rule on Eric Roberts (but the promos suggests that Danny will get to ret that again next week on Raylan which I am sure will end humorously). But the scene where Raylan and Roberts entered Audrey’s was just one of those scenes that the show does just so well. Surprisingly the body count was low.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Cagayan: Just like the Race Wars season, it seems like they are ditching the gimmick a little too soon but after the Brains lost four of five Challenges, three of which were for Immunity, it was inevitable. We will have to wait until next week if just the Brains have to drop their buffs and get absorbed or all three will be mixed up. If it is the latter hopefully my two favorites who were being targeted this week, Cliff and Morgan end up in cushier situations, maybe on the same tribe. But how exactly did Cops-R-Us (Philip Sheppard should sue for copyright infringement) think they could throw a basketball challenge with Cliff Robinson on their team?
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Cagayan on iTunes.

The Americans: After the tease at the end of season one, I was excited for potential of Paige to figure out her parents’ secret. But after three episodes of near misses, I am ready for her to finally learn the truth. I really hope they are not waiting for this season’s finale (or longer) for that to happen.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Nashville: Oh Juliet, pulling that kind of stunt is what got you dropped in the first place. Thankfully she has not learned her lesson because the show would be a lot less entertaining. The other big bombshell was Will proposing to his beard. Hopefully this means we are closer to somebody outing him because that would be a much more interesting storyline than him staying in the closet and hating himself.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Parenthood: All the lackluster and annoying storylines this season were almost all worth it for that dinner scene where basically everyone came out in the opening for everyone, including Jasmine’s family and minister, to hear. And Drew, who was always low man on the Braverman Power Ranking, may finally be moving up after his roommate hooked up with his former bootie call. But it kind of sounded like they are actually going to ruin that awesomely awkward dynamic by having Drew move in with his sister, which could get really awkward too considering her place is only one room.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

King of the Nerds: I liked the changed final challenge this season from the Survivor like popularity contest to an actual nerd skills competition. But for the second straight year, a girl one which makes me wonder if a guy will ever win this show. They might as well call it Queen of the Nerds at this point.
You can download King of the Nerds on iTunes.

Hannibal: I do not know what is says about me that I recognize that the bailiff was murdered the way that Will is accused of his victims before forensics made the same assumption. And by killing the judge, does that mean Hannibal wants to keep Will in a perpetual state of innocent until proven guilty but still in prison? I would have never had guessed a court room based episode would be this engrossing, but of course was able to pull out an epic one.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 3/8/14

Quote of the Week: Spare us the wiener act. Bullying is a vital part of every ecosystem, it teaches kids resilience. The world is a rough place. Bullying is like getting inoculated: it’s a vaccine. And you little (expletive deleted), you got to learn to stay away from people like my son. That is what you learn when you get punched in the face by a bully. How do you think Steve Jobs turned out so great? Bullies. And I guentee Junior here will be getting the hottest chicks when he’s thirty because he got bullied today. Do you want to peak now? My kid will be picking up roadside garbage in an orange jumpsuit in ten years and you’re kid will be in med school curing cancer and getting laid. You’re welcome. (Frank Gallahger, Shameless)

Song of the Week: Hungry Heart – Bruce Springsteen (Growing Up Fisher)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Something Is Happening in the Ukraine: The Olympics are all about watching sports unite the world. Apparently Vladimir Putin was not paying close attention because just after the Closing Ceremonies, he was turning his eyes to invading former territory Ukraine. Despite spending the last week and a half of news on the subject, I am still not entirely sure what is going on because half of the talking heads are finding ways to blame this all on Obama while the other half are pointing out how crazy the other half is. Le sigh.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Wrong Roads" Justified, Tuesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Headfirst – Jillian Edwards (Noisetrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Veronica Mars: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

New DVD Release of the Week: Inside Llewyn Davis

Video of the Week: Last week at the end of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. we were introduced to Lorelei, an Asgardian temptress who finds her way to Death Valley and gets a newlywed to ditch his wife to drive her somewhere. Since Thor is too important to slum it on television and Marvel needs some extra promotion for his movie which landed on DVD two weeks ago (watch Thor: The Dark World now just in case their are spoilers even though the episode right after the movie hit theaters was fairly vague), the promos show that it will be Lady Sif that will come to battle the villain. Now I have had my issues with the show, but if they somehow manage to get Lady Sif and Skye is a wrestling match, it will likely turn out to be the greatest television episode ever in the history of television.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Once Upon a Time, Sunday at 8:00 on ABC: The show has left Neverland about ten episode two late and now, um, I cannot remember what happened last. (Heads to Wikipedia.) Oh yeah, Peter Pan’s unleashed a new curse that Regina negated by Regina when she un did her original curse. So Storybrooke is no more, all the fairy tale characters back in their respective world with Emma and Henry living together without any memory of what happened. Until Captain Hook started to bang on their door. Hopefully this new direction is a better course because Nederland was a massive drag. There will be a new antagonist in the form of the Wicked Witch of the West. No word yet if Dorothy, the Wizard, or the three other witches will make an appearance. But there better be bad CGI flying monkeys.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 12/18/13

Tomorrow I start my Best of 2013 lists, but before then, I thought I would have a rare mid week 57 Channels post because of all the television on Sunday that deserves some analysis. As for the best of list, you can contribute by filling out the 9th Green's Readers Favorite Songs of 2013 Poll at the bottom of this page (or just click the link).

Quote of the Week: If you had just discovered after 30 years that I was a martian, the least I could do was explain to you life on mars. (Margaret Scully, Masters of Sex)

Song of the Week: Days Are Gone – Haim (Revenge)

Big News of the Week: Hall and Oats Finally in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame: The inductees for next year’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame were announced yesterday and to little surprise, Nirvana were a first ballot inductee (though I would have held off the twenty-fifth anniversary of Nevermind). After Rush was inducted this year, another long overlooked rock act with a feverish fan base Nirvana are also in. Peter Gabriel also got in for the second time, he originally was inducted as part of Genesis and this time will be as a solo artist. And things will get mellow with the inclusion of Cat Stevens and Linda Ronstadt. But for my money, the show will be headlined by Hall & Oates the greatest duo in the history of music. I am guessing the reason it took a decade and a half to be nominated (they were inducted after their first nomination) was because of those extremely cheesy eighties music video.

Once Upon a Time: After a really bad first half of the season, this show really needed a reboot, and surprisingly they actually did it, Storybrooke no longer exists, everyone is back in fairytale land where they left off with no recollection of what happened. While Emma and Henry live as is she never gave him up. Okay, this storyline reeks of the flash forwards on the final season of Lost, but as least we know now it will not all turn out to be purgatory (at least hopefully not). But why does Bae go back to fairytale land? He was in the real world when the curse went into effect. And if everything goes back to the way it was pre-curse, does this mean everyone who died will be resurrected. I am guessing that would be the best way to bring Rumplestiltkin back. Of course if that is the case then Peter Pan, the Huntsman, et al will also be resurrected.

With Neverland behind us (hopefully), we did get a glimpse of what is ahead. And no I do not really care how Captain Hook got his memory back. Nope, the real news is we got a glimpse on the next Big Bad: The Wicked Witch of the West. Get ready for some embarrassingly bad CGI flying monkeys.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: The only thing I hoped for with the finale was that Brody died a horrible death and the writer finally followed through. If only two seasons too late. I was also kind of hoping Carrie would have a miscarriage but unfortunately that did not happen. But hopefully for next season grandpa and auntie take care of the Brody spawn because raising a kid in Istanbul sounds like a horrible idea. And I am guessing that Saul will be part of Carrie’s team in Istanbul. Though how Carrie got a promotion is pretty befuddling after everything she has done over the past season and a half.

Revenge: The series started off with Daniel (presumably at the time) getting shot, so I guess it is almost apropos that he ended up being on the other end of the gun for the teaser to this season. Though it is hard to believe even a drunk Daniel would shoot Emily. Unfortunately the teaser for the second half of the teaser has Emily with amnesia, one of my three least favorite plots on television. Hopefully we learn by the first episode she is faking because I really hate amnesia plotlines.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Masters of Sex: Greatest colligate presentation ever. But shockingly the rainmaker got fired for it. So will another college take a chance on him or will he have to go back to running studies at whorehouses? I will be spending the next nine month trying to not go to Wikipedia to avoid spoilers. I did make it through three seasons of Deadwood without checking out history reports on the subject.

How I Met Your Mother: The Mother is so inconsequential that I completely forgot that she ran into Lily until she brought it up. The writers really should have came up with a good storyline for the Mother before actually folding her into the show because of right now, I am not sure if she even make the top 5 of the Ted Mosbey Girlfriend Power Rankings.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Sing-Off: Last week’s promo had me a little worried for the safety of Vocal rush and they did inexplicably end up in the Ultimate Sing-Off (even though Voice Play definitely should have been in the bottom two). But thankfully they did make it out unscaved and got two performances from the group. Though I do hope it is the last time we see the group in the bottom because they are significantly better than everyone else this season except Home Free and maybe Ten (that really should be the final three). Since only half of the groups performed, my Power Ranking has unchanged from Sunday with the exception of Element getting the ax.

1. Vocal Rush
2. Home Free
3. Ten
4. acoUstiKats
5. The Filharmonic
6. VoicePlay


Free Download of the Week: Something About December – Christina Perri (iTunes)

Video of the Week: We are a year away from Interstellar from hitting theaters, but you can have your first look now. Well, it mostly looks like stock footage except for a quick glimpse of Matthew McConaughey driving on a country road (which says nothing since the movie supposedly is about space). But that is enough for me consider the movie comes from Christopher Nolan, the guy behind Memento, Inception, oh, yeah, and the Batman trilogy.


Next Week Pick of the Week: What else is there aside from ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 12/15/13

Once Upon a Time: And now Greek Mythology is on the table for the show (how long until Norse mythology is tied in and Thor shows up). It was recently announced that the chick from Lost will be joining the cast as the next Big Bad, I originally thought that she may be the human form of Ursula, who was last seen as extremely bad CGI), but maybe she will be a God. As for Peter Pan unleashing another curse I do not care (but I will put ten cents on Tinkerbell earning her wings by stopping it with pixiedust; speaking of fairies, when did having your shadow ripped from you kill you). Nor do I care that The Darlings saying they are going back home even though home is nineteenth century England.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: I did not think for a second that Brody had converted back to Al Qaida. It has come pretty obvious that the writers will never have Brody or Carrie turn on each other and have shown that have done the dumbest things for each other. And now Brody is in a heavily guarded compound with no way to escape (and very reminiscent to the way he assassinated the Vice President last season; why don powerful men keep inviting him into a room alone), but I am sure Carrie will still find a way to get him out even though the show would be much better without him.

Masters of Sex: Bill seeing Virginia throughout the episode seemed a little sitcom-y for me even though that last scene with them was very powerful. But it did seem apropos that Bill was obsessed with measuring phalluses considering the former and current lovers of Virginia engaged in a phallus measuring contest all episode.

The Sing-Off: Thank goodness the show is back and not a moment too soon after a lackluster season of The Voice. It has been over a month since The Voice has had a performance as good as Bottom of The River (if the girl who sang lead does not show up on The Voice next year, Mark Burnett has failed as a producer), What Makes You Beautiful or even Cruise. Unfortunately one of the groups that sang one of those songs was already sent home. It is a little weird how they split the third and four episodes especially considering what I considered the two weakest of final eight are both in the same episode. Then the two teams I thought had the best chance to advance far in the competition on Thursday both ended up in the bottom two, sadly with Street Corner Renaissance, who I had already penciled into the finals, going home. So now I am a little worried for Vocal Rush, who gave by far the best performance this season (and followed that up with my middle school jam by C+C Music Factory) even though there are two fodder teams on their episode. It also does not help that the promo makes it looks they struggle with their eighties tune.

If the two best groups from the first round do not make it to the live show I assume we have Mark Burnett to blame because the guy seems to like to have fodder in his sing shows. The other thing we have Mark Burnett to thank for is the new Ultimate Sing-Off where the two bottom teams have their own “Battle Round” with only one advancing, no Steals are in play. These were entertaining, but I am disappointed that they seem to have replaced the Swan Song. I do not see why they could not have done both (aside of course for licensing fees reasons). But anyway. Here is my Power Ranking for those still left in the competition.

1. Vocal Rush
2. Home Free
3. Ten
4. acoUstiKats
5. The Filharmonic
6. Element
7. VoicePlay


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I think I predicted this earlier, but it became pretty obvious that Sky’s mother is really Mae. But much like The Blacklist, the question is how long they will drag this out. At least in the winter finale, Lizzie came to the realization that it may be the case. How long until Sky figures this out. Mae is old enough, she is a SHIELD agent, Sky looks half Asian, how is May not her first guess. Really the only question now is, could Coulson be the father?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Well that was an unexpected finale. After Jax killed Clay I theorized the only thing the show had left to do was for Tara to kill Jemma. Oops. Got that one backward. Now, I guess all there is left is for Jax to kill his other parent.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Holy Ciera! She actually won an immunity challenge. Maybe she actually is good at puzzles; it is just that her mother is just that much better. But it looks like we are going to be in for a boring finale as the final three will be Tyson beating Gervase and Monica unless Ciera miraculously manages to win another immunity challenge or two. Though it would be obvious Hayden will be voted right back out if he comes back from Redemption Island, I do wonder if Monica will be more prone to flipping if it is Laura or even Tina. Monica probably still loses, but would have much better chance with a all girl final.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Nashville: Last week I did not even mention the promo monkeys teasing someone dieing this week because it seemed so obvious that it would be Lamar, it did not seemed worth even predicting. Oops again. But I did mention last week that if Will did not come out of the closet they might as well write him off the show and promote Layla to cast regular. So it was either Will or Peggy who may have seen her last day. But like I have said before, I do not believe anyone is dead until I see a body (and even then I am sometimes hesitant) and unlike Peggy who’s lifeless body we saw, we did not see Will’s body. So as of now I am guessing Will stepped off the tracks at the last moment.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: C’mon, if you are going to do a It’s a Wonderful Life episode, do a It’s a Wonderful Life episode, not five different segments with five different narrators. I would have liked to see an entire episode of Penny trying to hook up with Sheldon.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

The Michael J. Fox Show: I do not why, but I laughed hysterically through the commercial break at the King of Pain joke.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Michael J. Fox Show on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 12/8/13

2014 Grammy Nomination Special: It is odd to have your nominations at 10:00 on a Friday considering the weekend tends to be a wasteland for news. But after the nominations I understand why they had it on a day when most people deliver bad news. After last year when I actually enjoyed all five Album of the Years and was content with most everything in the big four. Well except that Call Me Maybe was was nominated for a songwriting award along with Kelly Clarkson’s Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) which re-appropriated the Nietzsche saying for the umpteenth time in song.

The biggest shock of the night was Sara Bareilles getting Album of the Year nod for the underwhelming The Blessed Unrest, her weakest album to date. She shares the nomination with Macklemore and Ryan Lewis who somehow ranked up the second most nomination with seven including three of the big four. Not bad for the second coming of Vanilla Ice.

As for the snubs, Lorde seemed like the biggest lock for Best New Artist, yet when the nominees were announced, not surprisingly Macklamore and Ryan Lewis were joined by Kendrick Lamar (who grabbed the same amount of nominations as the duo), and country upstart Kacey Musgraves. The other two were a bit shocking especially considering they took the spot of Lorde who was arguably the most buzzed about new artist of the year and was peaking as the nominations were being decided.

First there was James Blake who is virtually unknown stateside (or very well in his native England) and was getting no buzz at all during awards season. No shots at James Blake because Retrograde will probably make my Best Songs of 2013 list (okay, one irrational shot, whenever I see his name I think of James Blunt which is a big negative), but he does not belong here. But Blake is not even the least deserving artist in the category; that honor goes to Ed Sheeran. Ed even seemed embarrassed when the camera cut to him after announcing he was nominated. Again, no shots at Ed, but he is not new. And not even in the way that Kacey Musgraves is technically on her fourth album kind of way. The guy was nominated for Song of the Year just last year and even performed at the award show. This year, his is up for nothing else (same as James Blake; though technically Ed is nominated for being on the Taylor Swift album) while Lorde is up for four awards including Song and Record of the Year. But I guess you cannot get too upset for Lorde not also getting the Best New Artist nomination, she will probably get one next year.

Once Upon a Time: Thank goodness, we are finally out of Neverland (so what if they did not bother to explain how Prince Charming is allowed to leave without dying). Oh wait, Pan is now in Henry’s body so that storyline will continue. Ugg.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: I actually cheered when the roadside bomb went off. I should have known Brody would crawl out, the guy is a cockroach.

The Walking Dead: My favorite part of the episode is everyone saw Rick skitter behind the bus, and yet the Governor’s whole army marched right past him without even bothing to look to see if he was still there so Rick could tackle the Governor after every passed. There is nothing more entertaining than television characters that are AI video game dumb. My second favorite part was the mom who was so fixated on the water even though someone told her that walkers avoid water, keeping her back on her child and the big wooded area that could actually have walkers in it.

But it is time to say R.I.P. to Hershel. When the Governor captured him and Michonne it was pretty clear one of them would be assassinated by the Governor if not both. And Michonne actually has both of her legs. The Governor also became zombie chow but surprisingly it was not at the hands of Rick, Michonne (though she did leave him for the zombies, presumable, when she had the chance to finish him) but by the mother who we just met two episodes ago. I do wonder if we will see her, or her sister, again. I think they were the only two of the Governor’s army who ended the episode alive. I would not be surprised if they were the ones that took the baby and will raise them as their own until Rick happens across them at some point.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Masters of Sex: I was wondering when the study start if they were using any sort of contraception and finally got my answer: apparently only a diaphragm which only has about a 95% success rate. I am not sure I like those odds.

The Blacklist: In an interview with one of the dudes behind Homeland, I remember him talking about how smart viewers are now and you can never surprise them with what happens, you can only surprise them with when it happens. I think about that a lot when watching The Blacklist. Most people had Lizzie being Red’s daughter as early as when NBC released its first trailer. I began to think that maybe Red may be the father of Lizzie’s husband instead when it was revealed her father was alive and well (as far as she knew) in the series premiere. But as time went on, I went back to thinking that it was Lizzie who came from Red’s loins, a fact that was all but confirmed when Red killed Lizzie’s “father” when her “father” wanted to tell her some big secret. So the question is not if Lizzie is Red’s daughter but when the writers let us in on this fact.

Being one of those “smart” television watchers that the Homeland dude spoke of, the winter finale seem like the most logical. Lizzie’s “dad” was killed by Red two episodes and the last promo suggests that the baddie was going to assassinate Lizzie next if Red did not plead for his daughter’s life? Except that “fact” ended up not coming to light and Red got that other dude from Homeland to give up the code. But the evidence was mounting so high that even Lizzie started to suspect that Red was her father that at the end of the episode she straight up asks him if it were true. Her it comes, and his answer was… no. What?!?

So either two things are going on: 1) Red is telling the truth. Then what was this big secret that he killed her father over about (could she be Alan Alda’s kid and she is the big thing Red has over Alan for the last twenty years that has kept him alive)? Or 2) Red is lying and the writers are prolonging the obvious even longer. I am not sure I like either scenario going forward.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

The Goldbergs: The second Legend of Zelda game was the bane of my existence as a kid and to this day I never finished it. Now in the age of YouTube, I may have to dig out the Nintendo and see if I can finally conquer it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Goldbergs on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I have this fear that the show is going to just reset and have Tara get back with Jax. But I really cannot see her go into wtnes protection because then we will just have another season with Jax trying to find his kid. They already did that back in season three which was the worst season of the series. Plus I have a feeling now that Jax has killed Clay, one of the few things the show has left to do is have Tara kill Gemma.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Stupid promo monkeys ruined the surprise that the votes would be deadlocked but I was surprised as who it was flipped. I assumed it was Monica that Hayden got to flip convincing she was on the bottom, but nope, Ciera for some reason decided to flop after making a big deal about not turning on their alliance last week. So not only did she flop, someone she voted with someone who ended up drawing the short straw. Bad move Ciera. So that was only the second tie since the show went to picking rocks and I find it interesting this week Probst clarified on Twitter that at final four if there is a tie, the players make fire. I wonder if we get another tie this season.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Nashville: Layla is quickly moving up the Nashville Power Rankings with each passing episode and now has positioned herself at number three. And Juliette will probably not be very happy that she is close to being overtaken by Layla. The show this season has been at its best when one storyline focuses on their feud. Hopefully Layla gets upgraded to series regular soon. She could take the place of the gay cowboy who has been worthless since he has joined. Either out him to the general public now or just write him off the show (when Layla called TMZ I actually thought she was going to out him).
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Sound of Music Live!: About an hour in I wrote “I was not expecting Julie Andrews but wow, Carrie Underwood is getting out-acted by a bunch of minor. Hopefully someone falls down the stairs soon.” But really aside from the wooden performances from the two big named leads, it was an entertaining production. Sure I have some complaints: having a live production that is not in front of a live audience just felt weird. Same goes for the obviously taped orchestration. I was expecting applause in-between acts but you could hear a pin drop. It was also a weird that the cast did not get a curtain call (granted it would have been even weird to take a bow in front of an empty soundstage). And of course it would have been a lot more memorable had someone fallen down the stairs. But since it was a rating bonanza (it had two million more viewers than The Big Bang Theory during the same half hour), I suspect another live production will happen again next year and may I suggest A Christmas Carol. Just do it in front of a live audience. I even have the casting: Kelsey Grammar as Ebenezer Scrooge, Ted Danson as Jacob Marley, Neil Patrick Harris as Bob Crachet, and Emma Stone as the Ghost of Christmas Past (just without a bad eighty’s wig).

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/24/13

Once Upon a Time: Just when I thought they could not ruin Peter Pan anymore, they make his origin story an adult. Sure it makes absolutely no sense that Peter Pan’s shadow predates Peter Pan, but that is the kind of writing you get on this show. And even though I doubt that either will stick, but I have no problem with Henry dying or Rumplestilkin getting trapped in Pandora’s Box. And though the promo monkeys suggested not guessing what happens next, they bring Henry back to life and the second half of the season is Henry becoming the new leader of the Lost Boys.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: I was hoping he would just rot in the half finished building for the rest of eternity but it looks like Brody will be back on American soil by next episode. And he will probably get a full pardon even though he is a known associate of Abu Nazir, tried to blow up the Vice President and other high ranking officials, and they succeeded in killing the Vice President the following season. Maybe if we are lucky, they will ship him overseas to help their asset in Iran.

The Walking Dead: Where has the fake cop been this whole time? Of course like every interesting character this show introduces, I fully expect her to be dead by the end of next episode. I do wonder if these new people are cousins to the Greene family because it is distracting how much the one looks exactly like Maggie.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: When the promo monkeys hyped someone from Emily’s past coming back, I rolled my eyes when her gay husband showed up. Oops, he was not it. Then when the reporter got all Deep Throat meeting in a parking garage, I just assumed the British chick was back in town. Nope, Lydia is back from the dead. Wait, what? I thought she was dead, except I do not remember how. I remember he falling off her balcony onto a car but I thought she survived that. (I had to look it up, she was supposed to be on the airplane that exploded at the end of season one. So Lydia was not on it, Victoria was not on it, who exactly was on the airplane?)
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Masters of Sex: An episode of Masters of Sex without any sex. Unless you consider seeing the inside of a lady count. I do now wonder if Dr. Haas and Vivian will meet each other again in the sex study. Now that she has had an orgasm it seems like she would try to reenroll (unless she was too embarrassed by the first rejection). And I wonder if Barton himself will ever partake in some sort a way even if it is just a way to “cure” himself.

Castle: Number one rule of television: if you do not find a body, they are not dead. And even if you do find a body, there is still a fifteen percent chance they still not turn out to be dead. So I never for a moment thought the serial killer was actually dead. And now that he has a plastic surgeon girlfriend, he could end up being anyone. He may even show up as Ryan’s doppelganger at some point.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: I was worried when they said the episode would tie into the movie because I do not like going to movies and prefer to watch them from the comforts of the couch. Thankfully they did not spoil anything (sure they were cleaning up after London was destroyed but you could tell from the trailer a city was getting destroyed; that an a city inevitably gets destroyed in every superhero movie). But it was a bit disappointing that they had a movie tie in episode and none of the characters from the movie showed up. They really could not have run into Natalie Pirtman for a second or two?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Wow, they actually killed off Clay. He had to die at some point, but after he survived two gunshot to the chest from Opie I assumed he was going to manage to survive until closer the series finale. But here he is shot by Jax during the antepenultimate episode of the penultimate season. So now what? The series has always been about a power struggle between Jax and Clay and now with Clay off the board for the reminder of the series there is a gaping hole. The rest of the series cannot possibly be about the power struggle between Tara and Gemma could it?
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: If I had not seen just the day before a dude shoot his step-father in the throat in front of his mother and wife, what Ciera did to her mother would have been the most coldblooded thing on television this week. It is one thing to vote your mother out, it is other to writer her name down then put “mom” in parentheses so she, and everyone in the world, knows that you shot your mother in the throat. And it was awesome and almost makes this horrible Blood vs. Water idea worth it. The most bizarre thing is that Ciera could be in the driver’s seat. The promo monkeys make it seem like the newbies are going to ban together to oust the veterans. The she could easily get in the final three. Once there she could actually win because people may be weary of voting for Caleb (because Colton is evil) and Hayden (who already won a rival reality show). Of course whenever the promo monkeys suggests something, it almost always goes wrong, which means one of the newbies will either not flip on the veterans or let the veterans get wind and Tyson will use his Idol.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Nashville: If I were Rayna I would have totally let the police arrest me and then win the war in the court of public opinion. I really doubt a digital single is really going to completely placate the head of the record label.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: It doe not even matter if Amy pointed out how wrong it was, the writers should have never have heldon make the slavery comparison, it just was not funny. It did not help that this episode just aired after Sarah Palin also made a very inappropriate slavery comparison.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Parenthood: Max is typically my least favorite character on the show, but Max asking out Hank’s daughter and the uncomfortable position that put Hank in was hilarious. Can’t they just have Hank’s daughter move back to California permanently? It would completely make up for the downer that the Julia storyline has been this season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/17/13

Once Upon a Time: So the Darling boys grew old enough to be in their twenties before Peter Pan kept them in a un-aging state, but Wendy looks exactly the same she did the last time we saw her. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: Most shows have a point of view character, someone who speaks for the viewers, usually a newbie to the team, who asks the questions that the people watching would want to know. I am beginning to think Senator Lockhart is such the character on Homeland. He is the new guy to the CIA and looks around and asks, what the frack is wrong with you people and they ends the episode locked in the dark. Yep, that pretty much sums up the viewing experience of this season on Homeland.

The Walking Dead: Just like Brody on Homeland, it was only a matter of time before The Governor showed up. Brody was given pretty much a whole episode, three into the season (and has not been seen since) whereas The Governor only got a cameo at the end of episode five. Last week I predicted he would run into Carol, but it looks like he did not travel that far away from the prison. So that puts him in play for feeding the zombies rats that we saw early in the season.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Masters of Sex: Well that was the least sexy sex scene ever. At least between two relatively attractive people. I never thought anything involving Lizzy Caplan would be possible. I do wonder who Masters will impregnate first, his wife or his assistant. I am a little surmised the talk of contraception has yet to come up in the research. Did they even have readily available contraception back in the fifties?

The Voice: It is hard to quit the show cold turkey because I need something to watch between 2 Broke Girls and the Blacklist and The Goldbergs and Sons of Anarchy so I half watched those hour and a half while flipping around and making pithy comments on Twitter (#VoiceSave Holly Henry). I was a little interested to how the Instant Save turned out hoping it failed miserably. And it kind of did. After making my pithy comment I decided to scroll the hashtag results and saw about 80-90% of them for Jonny, Blake even pointed this out when Carson asked him who he thought America would save. Even the retweet of The Voice’s official tweets were the most for Jonny (followed by Josh with Kat in the hole). Yet the first person eliminated with the lowest amount of tweets was Jonny. Huh? My first thought was there must have been a lot of tweeters who misspelled his name (most people would naturally want to put an “h” in it like Johnny Cash) but supposedle the show allows five different misspellings (people like Jonny, Jaquie, and Tessann need such a thing but it is funny to see the five ways you are allowed to misspell Ray). This just does not pass the sniff test. Unfortunately the Instant Save will not be going anywhere, at least no time soon because the ratings were way up from last week’s results show which was a series low for the show and even matched last week’s Tuesday performance show. Hopefully the novelty wears off and ratings drop again like I thought would when you pull a stunt that alienates half the country and it is scrapped for next season. But really all I want next season is better talent than what makes up this top ten.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs performed this week with the widget at right.

The Blacklist: I thought the promo monkeys said there was going to be a big reveal this week? Did I miss it? All I saw was more speculation that Red is really Lizzie’s father but no real confirmation.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Yep, Simmons is quickly becoming the most entertaining character by a long mile on the show. Her awkward encounter with Agent Sitwell was hilarious.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: Oh Tara, I told you that you should have turned on the club while you were in jail instead of concocting this elaborate plan that fell like a house of cards once you recruited a junkie and friend of the club. But now that she is at her breaking point, anything is possible with her. Speaking of anything is possible; Jax really tangled a web trying to get out of guns. Is he really going to turn rat and sell out both the Irish and the Koreans?
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: I like when they start doubling up Tribal Councils post merge, especially when the votes are as obvious as Vytas and Tina. I also liked Vystas just throwing bombs all over Tribal on his way out. He called out Monica, pointed out the chicks could easily take over the game. I am surprised more people do not do it when they know their number is up. And though I am glad they retired the gross eating challenge seasons ago, I am glad they brought it back for Gervase to have to partake in it again. And he almost won this time. I wonder if he spent the last decade eating strange delicacies for this very moment.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Parenthood: It is weird the election storyline is expanding well past the real world elections. But I wonder if there will be a point where Amber goes to the press without Kristina’s consent. I was kind of assuming that was going to happen this week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 11/10/13

Once Upon a Time: I was not expecting much from CGI Ursula, but that was really cheesy looking. Only worse was the real Ursula all CGI. And if mermaids can easily transport back and forth between worlds, then why not summon Ariel earlier and ride her back, why mess with the magic beans? The better question is why am I still questioning the massive plot holes on this show.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Homeland: So that was Saul’s big master plan: use Carrie to get to the Iranian dude, and then blackmail him into talking to him? Ugg. At least we know why the Iranian dude was creepily watching the kid playing in the yard last episode. Though how easy was it to find his grandson? If the wife was in witness protection, why was the kid not? And what was with the pregnancy tests? I would think that the mental health facility would have run some sort of blood test to see if Carrie was pregnant.

Of course the best part of the episode was a shout out to Scooter McGavin’s 9th Green in the episode. At least I am assuming that Majid Javadi holing up off the 9th Green of a golf course was a reference to this site.

The Walking Dead: During the season premiere Rick mentioned he has three questions newbies have to answer before they are allowed to join the chain gang in the prison. We finally learned one of them, “How zombies have you killed?” I wonder if we will learn the other two by the end of the season. Rick did finally make his first decision of the season my exiling Carol for killing the two sick people. She is not dead so there is a good chance we will see her again eventually (it did take a couple seasons to see the guy from the Pilot again). The Governor is still out there somewhere and I do not remember them running into each other last season. I just hope she does not turn out to be the lead in the proposed Walking Dead spin-off.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Revenge: So Emily’s big take down this week was… her own home? Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Voice: I am pretty much out on this season after realizing I only watched an hour and a half of the five hours this week and was pretty bored with what I saw. To be honest I was out the moment Holly Henry was inexplicatively booted from the show for dude to butcher Blurred Lines and get booted himself the very next week. The show has a serious problem when Holly’s seven week old version of The Scientist was charting higher on Monday and Tuesday than two songs performed that day by Grey and Amber Nicole. Now with Preston Pohl, who got stuck with the worst song selection this week, also given the boot, the two biggest fan favorites are gone before even the top ten despite being the only two whose audition songs made the top twenty-five this season (or even the top eighty for that matter).

And just when you thought The Voice could not get any worse than letting the two early favorites fall by the waste side, next week they are introducing the Instant Save next week. For those that have not heard yet, starting next week (and will continue through the top 6 week) they will announce a bottom three and then for the next five minutes, Twitter users will be able to vote which singer to save. First off, way to alienate half your audience. Anyone who lives on the west coast will either have sit though spoilers to see if their favorites are in the bottom three just to vote for them, or watch when it is on and not be able to participate.

Most importantly, this will undoubtably backfire. As is, voters have thirteen hours from the end of the show to vote, be it the phone, the internet via nbc.com, or downloading songs on iTunes. Now you are going to give the reigns to a very small minority of Twitter users, mostly on the east coast only five minutes to decide. This is just ripe for manipulation. Even though Vote for the Worst closed up shop earlier this year, some other prankster, or just run of the mill spammers, could easily manipulate things so undeserving people make it further than they should. And how is the show going to know with just a five minute vote window? The person who gets the least amount of votes next week could easily make it to the final four/five by Twitter alone. And let face it, the cutest boy is likely to get the Instant Save every week. Hopefully the show quietly eliminates the Instant Save before it begins because it will ruin the show as much as dumping talent a lot sooner than it should (the Instant Save will probably end up saving people who do not deserve it). If not, I highly recommend instead of saving someone in the bottom three, Tweet the show a contestant that should not have been eliminated in the first place instead (I will be tweeting Holly Henry).

Unfortunately it is too late to make any suggestion for next season because I believe the Blind Auditions (and maybe even the Battle and Knockout Rounds) have already been taped. They even start casting for season seven next month. But most importantly for the upcoming casting, they need to find better singer. Enough with the amateur hour, leave those contestants for the crappy Fox singing show. It is time to start recruiting professionals again. Seriously, have they run out of Warped Tout chicks and Alicia Keys backup singers (this season lacked both for the first time)? This is the second straight season where I did not know any of the singers who audition. They need to go back to casting semi to full professional singers and stop it with all the teenagers who are not ready for primetime. For every Caroline Pennell and Danielle Bradbery, there are about twenty teenagers who do not even get a chair to turn around or make a quick exit during the Battle Round (and are montage most of the time).

I do make these suggestions because it does seem like the show does take my suggestions to heart. The last time I may suggestions on how to make the show better, I suggested that they needed to open their songbook because they had been recycling way too many song from previous season (sometimes even in the same season, last season saw two versions of Teenage Dream and Feelin’ Good) and this week only saw two recycled songs. And when ranting against repeat songs, I mentioned that I was surprised Seven Nation Army was performed on three straight season when I thought The White Stripes song most likely to become a standard would be We’re Going to Be Friends and low and behold Caroline Pennell performed the latter this week. Still even with the new songs, nothing I saw this week was as good as the latest video Holly Henry posted this week of her singing Daughter’s Youth.


The Blacklist: Between the end with Red reminiscing about his daughter and the promo for next week, it is almost guaranteed that Lizzie will turn out to be his daughter. Hopefully they come out and say it next week because everyone guessed it during the first trailer they released for the show. There are already on episode six, it is already been dragged on too long already, hopefully we get a definitive answer next week.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: The problems wit procedurals is sometimes it is easy to figure out who the killer is even in the first act. The biggest indicator is whenever a recognizable guest star is in the episode. And then there are cases like this week when the cop being a total jerk early in the episode which led me to think he was the actual killer. Despite a few red herrings, fifty minute later I was right.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: When ABC announced Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., I was assuming that the Item 47 which was on The Avengers DVD was essentially the Pilot. Unfortunately Lizzy Caplan got herself cast in Masters of sex making her unavailable for this show (okay, it is not that unfortunately because I would much rather have Caplan on a show called Masters of Sex). Instead they replaced Caplan with a token hot chick with nominal acting skill. (Caplan has said she could still pop up on the show but since Masters of Sex has already been renewed for a second season, it probably will not be for a lengthy amount of episodes.) Titus Welliver, who was also in the Item 47, made his first appearance on the show. I wonder if he will be showing up more in the future with his own team which may or may not include Caplan.

As I mentioned earlier, the people they did cast on the show are not the best actors in the world. But I may have been wrong about Fitz because she did a very good job in this episode (or was it Simmons, I still not sure which one is which). I only liked her up to this point because when I squint, she looks exactly like Keira Knightley. Maybe they should give more for her to do and less to the token hot chick.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I knew Tara’s plan would crumble quickly, but I am surprised that Jax figured it out that quickly. I have no idea how this would turn out. If I were Tara, I would go to the DA and give her the club in exchange for immunity from her current case and witness protection for her and her kids. But then again the DA may even reject that if Jax does in fact deliver the Irish to her. Though my favorite part of the episode was when the lady cop asked where the DA’s wig went, the black cop spouted some urban slang and after he walked away, simply said, “I did not understand a word of that.” It may have been a little sitcom-y, but I enjoyed what essentially a throw away line
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Just when you thought that Ciera just making the merge was amazing, the fate of this season rested in her hands; either stick with her stag alliance even though he mother came back in the game or join a couples alliance. Granted it turned out the fate was not entirely in her hands as Tina and Aras stupidly thought Gervise and Monica would be okay being in an alliance with two couples. But the craziness could continue because Ciera has a legitimate shot at actually winning this season as long as her mother does not screw things up.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download Survivor: Blood vs. Water on iTunes.

Parenthood: It is getting to be distracting just how much Drew’s booty call looks like a smaller version of Alison Brie. I guess that will be the closest to a an Alison Brie fix I can get until next year.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 11/2/13

Quote of the Week: I would switch because I’m afraid I won’t do well in this duel because it’s a puzzle and I can’t even spell. But I would switch. (Kat Edorsson, Survivor: Blood vs. Water)

Song of the Week: Ghostbusters – Ray Parker Jr. (The Goldbergs)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Red Sox Win Another World Series: For the third time in a decade the Boston Red Sox with the face of the steroids scandal from their city winning the MVP. Wake me up when the asterisk era is finally over in Major League Baseball.

Preview Picture of the Week:

“John 8:32” Sons of Anarchy, Tuesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: 24 Hours – Sky Ferrera (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5 Each: This month’s discounted albums include Johnny Cash, A Tribe Called Quest, Mazzy Star, and Passenger.


New Album Release of the Week: The Marshall Mathers LP2 - Eminem

New DVD Release of the Week: Mad Men: Season Six

Video of the Week: Sad day Wednesday when Kat was booted from Survivor. Sure I was prepared for it all week considering most of the Redemption challenges have been puzzles, and Kat cannot even spell let alone do a puzzle. It is a shame she did not make the merge to at the very least be part of the Jury because when she was voted out of One World was the single greatest Ponderosa episode ever in the history of the show. We did get Kat on the After Show and since it was Halloween, both Kat and host Parvoti Shallow dressed up like kats. Can they just make Kat the permanent co-host?


Next Week Pick of the Week: Once Upon a Time, Sunday at 8:00 on ABC: Considering mermaids showed up in the season premiere, it was only a matter of time before The Little Mermaid showed up (apparently I was wrong thinking that the mermaid they captured in the premiere was Ariel). But goodness the preview for next week looks bad, especially the poor Ursula CGI. At least it cannot be as boring as this week’s Captain Hook centric episode.