57 Channels and Only This Is On - 1/6/13

Quote of the Week: I both hate you and want to be you. It's Ryan Gosling all over again. (Raj, The Big Bang Theory)

Song of the Week: Rapper's Delight – Sugarhill Gang (Parenthood)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Television Is Already Back: Even though many shows just had their “Winter Finale” less than a month ago, most are already returning as soon as tonight. And here is what I will be watching while trying to stay warm over the next couple months (new shows I hope are worth watching in italics):

Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (Tonight)
9:00 – Revenge (Tonight)
9:00 – Shameless (January 13)
9:00 – The Walking Dead (February 10)
10:00 – House of Lies (January 13)
10:30 – Californication (January 13)

Mondays
8:00 - Switched at Birth (January 7)
8:00 – How I Met Your Mother (January 14)
8:00 – The Voice (March 25)
9:00 – Bunheads (January 7)
9:00 – Dallas (January 29)
9:00 – 2 Broke Girls (January 14)
10:00 – Deception (January 7)

Tuesdays
8:00 – Pretty Little Liars (January 8)
8:00 – The Voice (March 26)
9:00 - The Lying Game – (January 8)
9:00 – Go On (January 8)
9:00 – Happy Endings (January 8)
9:30 – Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (January 8)
10:00 – Justified (January 8)
10:00 – Parenthood (already back)

Wednesdays
8:00 - Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites II (February 13)
8:30 – The Neighbors (January 9)
9:00 – Modern Family (January 9)
9:30 – Suburgatory (January 9; moving to 8:30 April 3)
10:00 – The Americans (January 30)
10:00 – Nashville (January 9)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (already back)
8:00 – Community (February 7)
8:00 - Last Resort (January 10)
10:00 – Do No Harm (January 31)
10:00 – King of the Nerds (January 17)

Fridays
9:00 – Grimm (March 8)


Preview Picture of the Week:

Pretty Little Liars returns with a bang Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Leverage: It was cheap of TNT to announce that it was not going to renew Leverage just days before the season finale which also happen to air on Christmas night. At least the writers had already wrote the finale like a series finale and the team was able to go out with one last entertaining job.
You can download Leverage on iTunes.

Parenthood: Thankfully my New Year resolution was not to tear up during Parenthood because I would not have made it a full day without breaking it. Really heartbreaking when Kristina shaved her head. The show when from heartbreaking to shocking when Victor shatters the window with his bat. Should be interesting to see how Julia and Joel react to that.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: For anyone who want to give me a belated Christmas present, a life-sized Jenga game will do. Either that or a Sheldon Cooper’s Council of Ladies t-shirt.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Sooner the Sunset – Sooner the Sunset (Noisetrade)

Deal of the Week: 2,000 Albums for $5.00: Need to spend those Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas, Amazon MP3 has 2000 albums for only $5.00 each including a few albums that made my Best Albums of 2012 list like The Lumineers, Fiona Apple, John Mayer, and Cat Power:


New Album Release of the Week: SIGNED and SEALED in BLOOD - Dropkick Murphys

New DVD Release of the Week: Dallas: The Complete First Season

Video of the Week: Whenever you do a list inevitably something is going to be left off. This Is the End just missed my list of the 13 Events That Will Make 2013 Awesome because even though it features numerous comic geniuses from the Judd Apatow phylum: Seth Rogan, Jay Baruchel, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson, and a dead Michael Cera all playing themselves. And even though the trailer is hilarious, I feel the actual movie will just be one big in joke and an excuse for everyone involved to sit around and get high. Plus had I included one apocalypse themed movie on my list it would have been the end of Edgar Wright’s disaster trilogy: The World’s End described as “Five friends who reunite in an attempt to top their epic pub crawl from 20 years earlier unwittingly become humankind's only hope for survival.” Since that does not have a trailer yet, here is the trailer for This Is the End.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Lying Game, Tuesday at 9:00 on ABC Family: Let’s face it, the first season of The Lying Game was a bit of a bore. But when Sutton turned around and said, “Hi mom” the show got way more interesting. Except we had to wait ten months to see what exactly the mother and daughter knew and when they knew it. I would not mind at all if the first episode (or some episode this season) is a flashback at how they got together, devised their scheme, and put it in motion.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 12/16/12

Quote of the Week: What are you even doing here? Why don’t you go live with that crazy woman and leave alone. (Dana, Homeland)

Song of the Week: Good King Wenceslas – Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Four years ago there was a boost of gun sales among the gun nuts fearing that the newly elected Obama would take away their guns or at least make it harder to purchase guns. Except he did not introduce one anti-gun legislation and even ignored a question asked at the debate. Not after someone shot up a mosque. Not after a nutjob dressed up like The Joker and shot up a theater in Colorado. Someone even shot one of his colleagues in the Congress in the face and he did nothing. So I doubt that a bunch of school children will even get Obama to become the anti-gun president that the gun nuts feared. But something needs to be done. Can we please at least reintroduced the bill to again ban assault riffles and other guns that make it easy to kill hundreds of people without even reloading. I am sure that arming school children like some of the gun nuts suggest is the solution.

Preview Picture of the Week:



Homeland: Sure Carrie is clinically insane, but I just do not understand how this Carrie, who absolves Brody of the murder of the Vice president of the United States of America, is the same Carrie who ignored her superior’s order so she could stand over Body and tell him he is a disgrace to his country while detaining him for being a terrorist. But anyway.

So now the biggest boogyman of the series, Abu Nazir, is dead but we still have one more episode left. I know I said this prior to the first season, but Brody cannot make it to the next season, right? I do not see any way out of it for him except if Saul goes to the press with Estes assassination of a sitting Congressman plot. Even then, Brody would end up in jail with a mountain of evidence (and certainly someone will realize that he was along with the Vice President when he died and get suspicious). Granted, why is Brody not dead already? Why did Quinn not kill Brody in between his house and Carrie’s? Seemed like a good time for a “car accident” which makes me think Brody will inexplicably make it to season three. Either that or Carrie will kill him when she realizes Brody is still a terrorist.

The Voice: Somewhat uneventful week because it was clear it was time for Trevin Hunte to go and he did (not that it always works out that way because Trevin should have went home two weeks ago instead of Amanda Brown). I guess the most shocking revelation was that the show would have a final two. Sure Mark Burnett has an unhealthy obsession with final threes even though everyone watching hate them (see Survivor) but me thinks that they made have done it this way so Blake would be the only coach with a contestant in the finals.

Speaking of Blake’s final two, when Carson first said they were going to sing Little Talks, my first thought was, is there some classic rock song I am forgetting that is called Little Talks (this is Terry McDermott who was singing) because they certainly are not going to perform that weird indie pop song. But they did sing the weird indie pop song which was very high on my list of songs I never thought I would hear on a karaoke show. And just when you think it would not get any weirder, Carson announces Of Monsters and Men were randomly in the audience (which begs the question, why did they have them sing the song).

This week we also got to see the triumphant return of RaeLynn although, I much prefer when she is stomping around like a grown up version of Toddlers and Tierra’s. No more mid tempos and ballad RaeLynn. If Cee-Lo is managing Juliet Simms, she needs to find new representation because her new song was a train wreck. And Chris Mann still sucks massively. Christina’s claim of him being the most commercially successful when the song he performed could not even crack the top 100 on iTunes when RaeLynn made it into the top 25. Even Juliet’s train wreck got into the 40’s. But I did predict last season that RaeLynn would be the most successful of the first two season and it looks like I am going to be right.

No Power Rankings this week because Cassadee Pope is the inevitable winner, the only question is who is second (I am hoping for Nicholas David).


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice by clicking on the artist’s name.

How I Met Your Mother: The show has had some pretty bad ideas in its run, but family with benefits has to be the worst hands down.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Parenthood: Of course they did not let Kristina die because I would have started a riot. I now it is not realistic, but they better they better just cure her in the next episode because I am not sure I can deal with it anymore.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

The Neighbors: This episode really made me yearn for a Weekend at Bernie's reboot.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Neighbors on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: After one of the best season in recent memory, it is kind of a boring foursome for the finale. Sadly nobody believed Abi-Maria’s fake Immunity Idol story. But do know what Abi, it may not have been the best strategy to call someone who hope to vote with you a moron and an idiot multiple times.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons: I was three episodes behind because Time Warner Cable and / or MTV forgot to add that episode to the On Demand which finally was uploaded this week. And of course the episode they waited three weeks to upload was not only the best episode of the season, it may have well been the single greatest episode ever in the history of The Challenge. Seriously, the whole house got in a twenty minute fight culminating in what is now my favorite insult of all time when Frank said Dustin just has “porn Muscles”. Awesome. Not so awesome was the following week when Marie tried to get in on the action, clearly doing it solely for the cameras. Hopefully she never gets asked back because faking crazy for the camera is not entertaining. Whereas Nany is legitimately crazy should be asked back to the next five seasons. And it is amazing over the course three episodes that Trishelle went from certainly going home because her partner Alton basically quit to probably going to win the whole thing (I really doubt Devyn or Sam will be able to make to the end).
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Free Holiday Songs from Amazon MP3

Deal of the Week: Best Selling MP3 Albums for Just $2.99: Amazon MP3 announced their latest batch of super cheap albums, and there are a bunch of soft rock hits from the 00’s including John Mayer, Coldplay, Jack Johnson, and Taylor Swift.


New Album Release of the Week: 12-12-12 The Concert for Sandy Relief - Various Artists

New DVD Release of the Week: Pitch Perfect

Video of the Week: I love the Nolan The Dark Knight Trilogy, but to be honest, I prefer my superheroes with a side of kitsch so I am not sure if we really need a super serious, super dark Superman series. We definitely do not need a Superman with a Ben Affleck in Argo beard. With that said, superheroes are only as good as his nemesis so the trailer did need more Zod in it so I should hold my judgement until we se more of him. And it definitely needs more Amy Adams as Lois Lane. But I have a feeling this will be another one and done movie from the Superman franchise. I hope I am wrong.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Homeland, Sunday (tomorrow) at 10:00: Abu Nazir is dead, Vice President Walden is dead, Roya is in prison. But we still have one more episode left so there will be one more explosion left. Will that explosion go thanks to Brody or will Quinn explode Brody’s head first. And let’s not forget that Brody also blamed Estes for Issa’s death so his safety is not guaranteed especially after blackmailing Saul. And I have not even brought up crazy Carrie yet, I have long stopped trying to guess what she will do.

Best of the Week - 11/10/12

Quote of the Week: Honey, you are fighting for your future in front of a disciplinary committee, not entertaining the secret service. (Claire, Modern Family)

Song of the Week: Low Rising – The Swell Season (Castle)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Mackenzie Was Voted off the Voice!: Just kidding, the real big news was the election. I did not care for either candidate (is it too soon to put up a Huntsman 2016 yard sign?) so I knew the country would lose either way. But if there was a winner Tuesday it was Nate Silver of Five Thirty Eight. Even though I did not really cared about the outcome, I am a big stats geek and still poured over the daily polls, and Five Thirty Eight was daily reader. And after getting forty nine state correct in 2008, Silver correctly predicted all fifty states this time around (assuming Florida stays in the Obama column, but it is Florida, so we may not know until January). As a stat geek, I know actually correctly predicting the outcome of fifty states based on polls in itself is a statistical anomaly. Although it is a little depressing that after twenty months of campaigning, around twenty-five debates, and over a billion dollars nothing really changed in Washington: Obama got reelected, the Senate still belongs to the Democrats and the House is still being ruled by the Republicans. Seriously people, in 2014 stop voting for the “R” or “D” besides a candidate’s name, look for the “I” and then vote for the other candidate. That is the only way to get real change in Washington.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Free Download of the Week: The Noise Trade Loft Sessions Mixtape – Rachael Yamagata

New Album Release of the Week: Lotus (Deluxe Version) - Christina Aguilera

New DVD Release of the Week: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Complete Classic Series Collection

Video of the Week: When I heard there was going to be a romantic zombie movie, my first thought was, oh goodness no. Even worse it is coming from the same studio that released those horrible romantic vampire movies. Then I saw the trailer for Warm Bodies. It may be one of those movies where all the good parts in the trailer, but it at least will get me to watch. And bonus points for Teresa Palmer who should be more famous than she is.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Space Dive, Sunday at 7:00 on the National Geographic Channel: The world was captivated last month when Felix Baumgarter traveled up 120,000 feet to do a sky dive. And the National Geographic Channel documented the dive with more than twenty cameras and now you can se the whole jupm like you have never seen before in this special.

Best of the Week - 10/27/12

Quote of the Week: I’ll tell you what doesn’t count: the Miami Heat’s most recent NBA championship. It was an injury-plagued, strike-shortened season. Therefore LeBron still needs six rings to even get into a conversation with Jordan. Also Chris Bosh looks like one of Omar’s boyfriends from The Wire. (Jane, Happy Endings)

Song of the Week: Dust In the Wind – Kansas (as sung by Ryan and Steven, Go On)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Fish Slapped!: Forget bayonets, God sanctioned rapes or how John Sununu is racist simple and plain (mutherfrack him and John Wayne), the most important thing that happened this week were all the people that got slapped by a fish. On Tuesday The Black Keys and RZA released a music video to see who is The Baddest Man Alive, the Keys may have some mad lettuce tossing skills, but RZA clearly was after slapping Dan Auerbach in the head with a fish. And just when you thought you had your quota of fish slapping this week, the very next day it showed up on The Challenge where, after a couple rounds of truly bizarre events, TJ Lavin saved the best event for last when two people had to joust each other, but instead a padded lance, they had to knock each other using nothing but a fish. Awesome. Let’s face it, the last presidential debate would have been much more interesting is instead of fighting over bayonets, the two candidates fought with fish.


Preview Picture of the Week:


Free Download of the Week: Fall Sampler – Dr. Dog (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: Every Norah Jones Album for $5.00

New Album Release of the Week: Cee Lo's Magic Moment - Cee-Lo Green

New DVD Release of the Week: Chuck: The Complete Series - Collector Set

Video of the Week: I loved Army of Darkness and quickly also picked up the first two Evil Dead movies (sure it is a bit weird to watch the third movie first), but like every reboot, I really had no desire for a reimagining of the film. On the bright side, both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are signed on for the reboot. On the other side, Sam is not directing and Bruce is not acting in it (unless when he said he was going to show up as the milkman was not a joke). Now we have the first look at the movie and holy crap it is scary. It even gives plenty of throwbacks to the original: point of view evil running through the wood, the Necronomicon, self arm amputation, a chainsaw, tree rape. They even throw in a new tongue cutting scene for fun. I am still on the fence for an Evil Dead reboot, but I am kind of excited for the thought that this could lead to a potential Tessa Altman vs. the Army of Darkness movie.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Voice, Monday and Tuesday at 8:00 on NBC: Big changes on The Voice this season as they expanded the teams from twelve to sixteen (twice as many as the first season) which meant adding another obstacle to the Lice Shows: The Knockout Round. Like moths rules on The Voice little was about the Knockout Rounds but from the look at the promo it looks eerily similar to the Battle Rounds except instead of the coach picking a song the two sing together, two contestants will sing songs of their own choosing (that can be cleared) with one being declared the winner with five from each moving on to the Live Shows. The Knockout Rounds will all air over two nights (Tuesday is being expanded to two hours), and with forty performances scheduled, I am expecting a lot of montage advances considering they only crammed three battles or five auditions per hour previously. I doubt they will cram in ten full performances per hour in the knockouts because they will still have to set aside some time to remind us that MacKenzie almost died and Adriana was part of a home invasion. If I were a betting man these are the people I would put money on advancing to the Live Shows (please note these are not the people I think should advance; you can wait until Monday’s Power Ranking to see who I think should):

Team Adam: Bryan Keith, Melanie Martinez, Nicole Nelson, Joselyn Rivera, Kayla Nevarez
Team Blake: Cassadee Pope, Terry McDermott, Suzanna Choffel, Gracia Harrison, and Liz Davis
Team Cee-Lo: Trevin Hunte, Avery Wilson, MacKenzie Bourge, Nicholas David, Caitlin Michelle
Team Chritina: Adriana Louis, Devyn Deloera, De’Borah, Aquile, Dez Duron

Best of the Week - 10/6/12

Quote of the Week: Twitter is stupid, and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read. (Max, 2 Broke Girls)

Song of the Week: Sailing – Christopher Cross (The Neighbors)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The First Presidential Debate: Supposedly Mitt Romney won the first presidential debate (of course John Kerry reputably won his first debate by 22 points) but it is not a good sign for the “winner” that the next day the only part of the debate that anyone is talking about was how Mitt wants to put Big Bird in the unemployment line. Seriously Mitt, it does not help the consensus that you’re a soulless businessman who likes to fire people to tell Jim Leher on national television that you will put the guy (and Big Bird) out of work right to his face. Personally I cannot vote for anyone who even suggests cutting funding to PBS. How dare they take away my right to watch Bob Ross reruns? And the PBS argument is just silly. Defunding PBS to lower the debt is like trying to pay off your mortgage by searching your couch cushions for change, it is not even worth the trouble.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Free Download of the Week: Quit You – Tristan Prettyman (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: 100 Albums for $5: This month’s discounted albums on Amazon include Bruce Springsteen, A Tribe Called Quest, Audioslave, and Dave Matthews Band.


New Album Release of the Week: Glad All Over - The Wallflowers

New DVD Release of the Week: E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial Anniversary Edition (Combo Pack: Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy + UltraViolet)

Video of the Week: You know you have a star studded movie when Kristen Bell, Uma Thurman, Jason Sudeikis, and Tony Shalhoub do not even make the trailer. But star studded does not necessarily mean good and usually end up being convoluted (see Valentine’s Day or New Years Eve) so I am hesitant for Movie 43. On the other hand Movie 43 is R rated, and by the red band trailer, it is very R-rated.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Nashville, Wednesday at 10:00 on ABC: I have some good news and some bad news: the good news is that Tami Taylor is back on television. The bad is she is sharing the screen with Claire Bennett. I could go on about the show, but you want watch the premiere yourself right now on Hulu or download Nashville on iTunes for free.

Best of the Week - 9/29/12

Quote of the Week: Oh dear, I fear our little Dick has exposed himself again. (Larry Bird, The Neighbors)

Song of the Week: La Bamba – Los Lobos (Last Resort)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: The Emmy’s Finally Got it Right: Like every year before it I skipped the Emmy’s because they are extremely boring and nothing good wins and rarely is nominated. That changed a bit last year when Kyle Chandler rightfully won Best Actor for his work on Friday Night Lights. More shocking is they actually got Best Drama right this year when they handed it Homeland when everyone thought it would end up going to an overhyped AMC show. Homeland ended up sweeping the show with awards also going to Claire Danes for the greatest character currently on television. Alright Damian Lewis probably did not deserve Best Actor, really if a male in the cast deserved an award it would be Mandy Patinkin.

Preview Picture of the Week:



Free Download of the Week: Stronger (Sampler) – Kate Earl (Noise Trade)

New Album Release of the Week: Traveling Alone - Tift Merritt

New DVD Release of the Week: Happy Endings: The Complete Second Season

Video of the Week: The first trailer for Identity Theft is out and...


seriously, I can watch Melissa McCarthy punch Jason Bateman in the neck all day.

Next Week Pick of the Week: Homeland, Sunday at 10:00 on Showtime: In a story a previously broke a couple paragraphs ago, the Emmy’s and I agreed what was the best show on television for the first time ever. We left last season with Crazy Carrie trying to get a little less crazy after getting unceremoniously fired by getting elective shock therapy. Except right before they threw the switched, she remember something that would prove that Brody was a secret terrorist. Brody himself cozyed up with the Vice President who he was tasked to kill but could go through with it after his daughter talked him out of it. The second season premiere picks up a couple months later and we quickly learn how mentally stable Carrie has become and how she is passing time now that she is no longer making paper timelines on her wall for the CIA (who of course comes calling eventually when they need her help). We also learn the outcome of the special election that Brody just threw his hat into during the first season and he is getting even cozier with the Vice President who is now running for the President. But maybe my favorite part of the premiere that I saw was Dana having what turn out to be a Roger Clinton moment. If you missed the first season og Homeland, Showtime is airing a marathon of every first season episode starting at noon today. And if you do not subscribe, you can pick up the first season on Amazon (see below) or download it on iTunes.

Best of the Week - 9/22/12

Quote of the Week: Of course he's in pain. Women are conniving soul crushers and if he realizes that,he'll be okay. He has a chance. (Hank, Parenthood)

Song of the Week: The Heart of Rock and Roll - Huey Lewis and the News (Go On)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Mitt Romney Hates 47% of Americans: I asked it before and I will ask it again, I wonder if Mitt Romney actually wants to be president because the guy does not talk about. Last week during the Middle East kerfuffle, Mitt sent out a press release that turned out to be extremely incurrent when all the facts came out. Naturally Mitt doubled down on his stupidity instead of admitting a mistake. The gaffe machine kept going this week when a tap was released talking at a $5000 a plate fundraiser that 47% of the population are dependent on the government who will vote for the president no matter what. Way to right off half the population Mitt. But as it turns out 81% of that 47% have full time jobs. And nine of the top ten states with the most 47%ers are in the Deep South, from South Carolina to Texas (the other being Idaho) which are the most conservative states in the nation with the exception of Florida. So it makes me wonder if Mitt even wants to become president because he is going up against an incumbent that does not deserve to be reelected and will probably still end up losing.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Motocross Champion Ashley Fiolek on Switched at Birth

Free Download of the Week: The Boys’ Club Live EP – Erin McCarley (NoiseTrade)

New Album Release of the Week: Babel - Mumford and Sons

New DVD Release of the Week: Marvel's The Avengers

Video of the Week: You would think Daniel Day Lewis playing Abraham Lincoln would be epic, but I was left after watching the trailer that it needed more scenes with Lincoln slaying vampires.


Next Week Pick of the Week: The Neighbors, Wednesday at 9:30 on ABC: It is premiere week and there is no show I am looking forward to this week that is premiering more than The Neighbors (please note I have already seen Last Resort and you too can on Yahoo). The show harkens back to the days when television executives were clearly on copious amounts of cocaine, aka the Gorlden Era of Awesomely Bad Television. The Neighbors features a human family who moves into a neighborhood of aliens and hilarity will ensue (presumably). And if we are lucky, we may even get to see our first male giving birth scene on television since that one episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Just remember that The Neighbors is on after Modern Family for one week and moves to 8:30 next week.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/9/12

Quote of the Week: Ask Osama bin Laden if he is better off than he was four years ago. (John Kerry, The Democratic National Convention)

Song of the Week: Ronan – Taylor Swift (Stand Up 2 Cancer; proceeds of the song go to cancer research)

Big News of the Week: The Democratic National Convention: It is weird to hear every talk about how great a president Bill Clinton was, even may conservative talking heads considering the guy was so toxic back in 2000 Democratic nominee Al Gore treated his boss like, well, like Mitt Romney treated George W. Bush at his convention. Seriously people, if you have forgotten, go Google Monica Lewinski, Paula Jones, Vince Foster, and / or Marc Rich.

I have a longstanding voting strategy to never vote for incumbents because the longer politicians stay in office, the more corrupt they become. But I would have totally voted for Barack Obama had his convention speech just been him walking up to the front of the stage, say, “I shot Osama bin Laden in the face.” Drop the mic and watch off the stage while Bob Marley’s I Shot the Sheriff played in the background.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Switched at Birth: I actually thought they were going to have Bay forgive Emmitt in less than one episode. That should be unforgiveable, especially for a teenage and ABC Family is not known for its eaklthy relationships (*cough*Aria/Ezra*cough*) so thankfully they have Bay a backbone (for at least one episode). But speaking of unhealthy relationship, that cannot possibly have Daphne hook up with her boss (who I swear is the Kennish’s lawyer with a haircut) can they? Ew.

Grimm: The episode featured a zombie virus that makes you horny. Awesome.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

MTV Video Music Awards: This year has to rival the painfully bad Vegas year (the one where Britney Spears laughably started the show) as the worst VMA’s ever. Really the only thing worth talking about is how the botched the MCA tribute. C’mon, last year Amy Winehouse gets a ten minute tribute including a performance even though she released just one great album and no memorable videos and never received a VMA or even performed on the show. But the Beastie Boys were one of the top five video artists ever (arguable number two behind Michael Jackson), gave one of the most memorable VMA performances ever with Sabotage, and was one of only a handful of artists to win the Video Vanguard Award. But all MCA gets is about five seconds of No Sleep to Brooklyn played over the loud speaker. MTV should be ashamed.


Free Download of the Week: Everything Is Embarrassing – Sky Ferreira (Rcrd Lbl)

Deal of the Week: Big DVD and Blu Ray Sale: The Big Bang Theory, New Jack City, Gremlins 2

New Album Release of the Week: Away From The World (Super Deluxe Limited Edition CD/DVD) - Dave Matthews Band

New DVD Release of the Week: The Big Bang Theory: The Complete Fifth Season

Video of the Week: It seems like every couple months a new movie trailer pops up that makes me go, that has to be a fake Funny or Die trailer because no way anyone would actually make that. When I saw the title Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters I assumed it would be a trailer parody of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but then Jeremy Renner pops up and I realize this is an actually serious movie. Alrighty.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Parenthood, Tuesday at 10:00: NBC’s staggered start of the fall season with the debut of its Monday and Tuesday lineups (sans Revolution which gets its premiere next week so they can air The New Normal and Go On pilots which are both currently online if you cannot wait; same with Revolution and Animal Practice). And the best show premiering this week is easily Parenthood. If my memory is correct Crosby and Jasmine got married, Julia and Joel got a kid (but sadly they did not adopt the coffee girl and her baby like I hoped), and Adam thankfully did not fire the absurdly hot secretary even though she kissed him. I am most interested in which Friday Night Lights alum pops up this season following in the footsteps of Lyla Garrity and Vince Howard. What is Becky Sproles up to these days?

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 8/25/12

Quote of the Week: You are not the first girl to fall for Downton Grabby. (Spencer, Pretty Little Liars)

Song of the Week: Rainbow Connection – Weezer and Hailey Williams (Bunheads)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Legitimate Rape: Remember the good old days when the political buzzwords were things like “Aqua Buddha”? Instead this cycle we are forced to debate things like “legitimate rape”. Didn’t we decide in the eighties that “no means no”?

Preview Picture of the Week:


Leverage: When I learned that the Leverage team would be going to Washington, it never crossed my mind that the reason they tried to “steal a congressman” would involve cheerleading. And after this episode I really hope they do a whole season in the capital next season. The storylines are endless.
You can download Leverage on iTunes.
Weeds:

Grimm: We may have learned more about the Captain in this episode than in the entire first season. So he is a bastard prince (charming?) who is barely human and very far from pure at heart who looks kind of like Jonah Hex in his pure form. Alrighty.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: How dare Erza’s brother besmirch the good name of Hootie & The Blowfish? Blasphemy. And how dare Erza defile Alex Mack? Can we just kill off the entire Fitz(Gerald) Clan please?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Year of the Dragon – Busta Rhymes: Yes you can download the entire new album from Busta Rhymes for free. Sure it is essentially a mix tape which means you will delete all but one or two songs after one listen, but hey, what do you expect for free? Quality?

New Album Release of the Week: Welcome To: Our House - Slaughterhouse

New DVD Release of the Week: Homeland: The Complete First Season

Video of the Week: Someone actually made a movie about butter carving. Welcome back Alicia Silverstone.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family: After a month of hyping, the BetrAyal is finally happening this week in the summer finale. The last couple episodes have focused on Paige who was found to be in possession of the missing casket earring and even the shady Jenna warned Emily about her. Of course all that means is that Paige is probably just a red herring. Other likely candidates are the growingly violent Maya’s cousin and Erza who could dump Aria and get back with his baby mama Alex Mack. But that would be more of a run of the mill betrayal, not much of a betrayal (unless Alex Mack joined the A Team to get back at Aria for dating her baby daddy). I m still hoping that Aria goes full WWF heal turn, smacks Spencer over the head with a folding chair, rips off her blouse to reveal a t-shirt underneath that reads “I’m the A-Team”. It is really a shame the how has not hired me as a writer yet.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 8/11/12

Quote of the Week: Life is cheap in prison, Vicente and I'm a very rich man. (J.R. – Dallas)

Song of the Week: God's Gonna Cut You Down – Johnny Cash (Dallas)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Canada Blames: I played soccer all throughout my youth, was a referee in college and watch every American match in the World Cup, Olympics and other random friendlies, and I do not remember anyone call a goalie for holding the ball too long, seen a couple warnings (apparently the Canadian goalie was warned by the assistant referee previously), but never actually called. It is so prevalent that the networks usually aired replays while the goalies stroll around the box for a minute or two before getting rid of it. It is kind of like a travel in basketball where you have to take an extra step or five to get called (I had to laugh when Chris Paul actually got called for it not knowing NBA superstar rules do not apply in international basketball). For the record, the rule is six seconds and the goalie held it for over ten before the penalty was called. But it is silly for Canadians to complain because it is a rarely called foul because it would be telling a judge you should have not have to pay your jaywalking ticket because cops rarely write anyone up for it. And if that is not enough to keep you Cunucks from complaining, please watch the video of Melissa Tancredi stomping on Carli Lloyd’s head which went uncalled. It was poetic that the Americans ended up winning the gold medal on that very head of Lloyd.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Falling Skies: I have to wonder just how Pope knew of Maggie’s deep dark secret. Why exactly would she tell her former captor something like that if she did not want to share with someone else?
You can download Falling Skies on iTunes.

Weeds: It is a shame that Andy got himself a new show already on NBC this fall because I would have been up for an Andy and Doug, My Two Dads style spin off.

Pretty Little Liars: Did they really need to introduce yet another guy who looks just like every other guy? When Erza’s brother showed up on screen I was trying to figure out if that was the dude who ended up hosting the party or the one guy who was in the secret fight club. It turns out neither. Now usually when talking about Mr. Fitz(Gerald) I make a Better than Ezra reference, but instead suggest Aria take the advice of Steve Miller and take the money and run. That family is bad news.

But the big news was the introduction of The BetrAyal which will happen at the end of the season. Despite the stylization it is unclear if The BetrAyal will turn out to be “A”, just a member of “The A Team” or just a someone forced by “A” to betray the Liars, or just a random betrayal. ABC Family even set up a suspect tracker where Paige is currently in the lead with 34%. Conspicuously absent is my leading contender for the new A in Allison and my new favorite character CiCi. Since I am hoping that the BetrAyal is by one of the Liars, I am going to predict Aria will be doing the betraying. Her name does start with an A.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Tracks from the Attic – The Lumineers (Noise Trade)

Deal of the Week: Hip-Hop Classics for 2.99: Amazon went for some classic rap albums for their deeply discounted albums this week including A Tribe Called Quest, Wu-Tang Clan, Dr. Dre, and Nas.


New Album Release of the Week: Just Tell Me That You Want Me - Tribute To Fleetwood Mac

New DVD Release of the Week: Shaft [Blu-ray]

Video of the Week: Wait, Coach Taylor helped kill Osama bin Laden? I guess that makes sense.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Boss, Friday at 9:00 on Starz: For the three of you that have Starz, the second season of Boss returns later this week. The first season was weirdly frantic and I could not turn away. For those that do not have Starz, t5he first season is available on Blu-ray and DVD, you can check out my review here: One Necessary Evil Leads to Another until One Day You Can’t Differentiate Between What’s Necessary and What’s Merely Expedient.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 8/4/12

Quote of the Week: The Russians just moved in two doors down. The wife’s a real sizzling piece of (expletive deleted). The guy is terrifying real Eastern Promises (expletive deleted). Each tattoo is someone he killed. (Doug, Weeds)

Song of the Week: The Man Comes Around – Johnny Cash (Dallas)

Big News of the Week: Chick-Fil-A: With every argument there is usually a right side and a wrong side, sometimes there is some grey area, and in some rare occasion, both sides are horribly wrong, the later is the case in the recent Chick-Fil-A controversy. For those unaware, last week, Chick-Fil-A COO came out against same sex marriage. Not the best idea to alienate a large percentage of the population, but dude has his freedom of speech.

That should have been, for those that were offended by the statement should have just found another fast food place to make them morbidly obese. But no, the opposition had to go just as absurd, organizing sit-ins and same-sex-kiss-ins which only raised the chain’s profile (this was the first time I had ever heard of Chick-Fil-A) and they actually reported record breaking sales. Even worse, politicians in Boston and Chicago set out to ban the chain from their cities. You should never ban any company for saying stupid things, if they forbid certain groups from buying their product, then you can step in, but all Americans are in their right to say stupid things.

But in the end, anyone who argues about, or eats fast food (which I have not done in four years) is a complete moron. Seriously, put the Big Mac down and make yourself a salad.

Preview Picture of the Week:


Weeds: There are very few things I needed to see less that Sugar from Survivor fully naked.

Pretty Little Liars: Um, why are they making Ezra’s mom out to being evil, she is completely right. Their relationship is completely wrong. Take the money and run Aria. And he is not even the creepiest old dud on the show because the doctor has to be way older than him. Erza is plausibly twenty-two, but the doctor has to be pushing thirty and has already made out with two teenagers. Chris Hanson needs a cameo on this show stat.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Dallas: After being a bit of a bore the first half of the season, Rebecca is getting more and more interesting by the episode. I am guessing I am not the only one who assume that her “brother” (who shockingly is working with Cliff Barnes’s rent boy) was the mastermind of the operation , but he implied is was Rebecca who came to him. I cannot wait to see what is revealed about Rebecca next (c’mon, you know she is not the one who gets the bullet even though he has about fifty more pounds on her right). In fact I could not wait, and watched the finale immediately after I watched this week’s episode, and learning her complete(ish) back-story is quite jaw dropping.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Lolapolooza Sampler (Google Play): Get free tracks from Red Hot Chili Peppers, Miike Snow, Afghan Whigs and more.

Deal of the Week: $2.99 Albums: This week Amazon has some deeply discounted album from those on tour this summer including Dave Matthews Band, The Back Keys, Bruce Springsteen, and Jimmy Buffett.


New Album Release of the Week: Lost In Transition - Sixpence None the Richer

New DVD Release of the Week: Grimm: Season One

Video of the Week: I thought the first two Paranormal Activity movies were well made, even if they were the least scary Scary Movies of all time. But I was out with the VHS enhanced third movie and feared a reel to reel version fourth installment. Well my fears were unfounded (for now) as the fourth movie is the first that takes part after the original movie. Aside from the introduction of iChat, it looks like it will be the exact same movie.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Olympics All Week on the NBC Networks: One week down, one more to go. And since it was so successful last time, NBC is using the Olympics to launch shows (sure it infuriated everyone that they switched away from the Closing Ceremony to air the crappy Marriage Ref, but it pulled in big numbers). Animal Practice, which has the best Olympic themed ads this year, gets the post Closing Ceremony treatment next Sunday while the Chandler Bing starring Go On will air after primetime coverage this Wednesday. And to carry momentum from the games, the Monday after they are over NBC will be premiering new show Stars Earn Stripes followed by the second season premiere of Grimm.