57 Channels and Only This Is On: 1/26/14

Shameless: Of course Frank has an as to known unseen daughter. But this begs the question just how many kids does Frank have. Really the paternity of all the Gallagher’s is in question obviously Liam is not his) and who knows how many other kids out there he had out of wedlock? He may have to hunt down all of them this season looking for a donor.

Revenge: Coldblooded that Emily would bring in Sara’s mother to win her battle. But a bit of a dissatisfying ending because it was not full takedown. Has she even completely ruined anyone lately (I guess Lydia could count)? Maybe we will get a takedown when Takeda’s daughter puts two and two together and realize Aiden was the that killed her father and puts that practice of separating skin from flesh to good use. We two cliff hangers, Emily suffers her second blackout, the second of which results in her waking up in Conrad’s bed. Then we are left with a fist look at Conrad’s first wife. Hopefully she is the one to finally kick the show out of the rut it has been in for about a season and a half.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

House of Lies: Monica getting stabbed was all sorts of awesome. I am guessing she will be fired, but I kind of hope they find a way to bring the stabber back. Certainly Marty may not have much of a problem hiring someone who would stab his ex-wife. Oh well, they at least still play the stabber's AT&T commercial in heavy rotation.

The Blacklist: The promo monkeys pulled a quick one on me this week. I actually thought that the chick in the black wig was Lizzie but just turned out to be a victim of The Alchemist. But why exactly did Red need The Alchemist to uncover the mole. Does this mean Meera changed her DNA and is not who she says she is?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: The reason why Justified is the best crime drama on television is that the criminals on the shows are idiots. So I got a good laugh this week when killer got caught because she did not bother to “burn” her burner phone. And is there any chance they keep the starlet around to be Alexis’ new best friend? Or even better have a spin off where the starlet starts imitating her art and becomes a optically challenged P.I. at night with Alexis as her sidekick. They can air it on ABC Family. I would watch that.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: Are there really places you can go to throw plates at walls? That cannot be cheap.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: I am glad Rachel brought up the theory that Raylan’s booty call just may have been working with the baseball bat guy. It certainly crossed my mind because that scenario has happened to Raylan before with the waitress and the UFC fighter which ended hilariously with a bean bag shotgun. Speaking of non lethal projectiles, it was seeing Wynn getting back to his psychotic ways. It seems like after Robert Quarels show up as the obligatory psycho, Wynn let him to all the evil stuff.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Nashville: That Zac Brown Band segment was really awkward. But Scarlett calling out Raina for having a co-dependent relationship with her exes was awkwardly awesome.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: Despite being another paintball-type episode, the lava floor episode was still thoroughly entertaining. At least it was until Annie went out way too soon and Britta got her way and got Troy and Abed to talk about their feelings.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: After a yawn fest of a first half of the season with boring storyline (Camille in Italy) after boring storyline (Drew’s bootie calls) after excruciating storyline (Joel and Julie long and played out separation), I finally got excited for one of the rare times this season for a potential storyline: Kristina starting her own school. Hopefully this pulls the show out of its doldrums.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 1/19/14

Revenge: Last week we had to sit through the silly temporary amnesia storyline and this week it was Emily moping through the episode Well that was until Victoria told her she was infernal And now she is all revengy (did the promo monkey really use that word). Hopefully she starts taking down people again. Takeda’s daughter is now in the revenge game so hopefully she quickly takes Aiden down for what he did to her father. He was never a good addition to the show and he being around is one of the reasons behind the drop in quality for the show.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Switched at Birth: I am disappointed that we did not get to see Daphne in jail aside from a quick dream sequence. Granted I guess that she is now essentially going to school at a juvenile detention facility. But wouldn't these pretty much be the same students she lived around since she was young?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Switched at Birth on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: The slap bet has been going on for seven years? Seven Years! SEVEN!!! Ugg, and there still have one left. How many were there to begin with? Oh well, at least we got a Boyz II Men appearance out of this episode.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Blacklist: With the rise of serialize television, shows started adding the much needed “previously on…” package about a decade or two ago. The older I get, the more I think they may need one after every commercial break. When Alan Alda popped up at the end of the episode as so congressional guy, I went, “wait, who was he in the last episode again?” So Alda is part of big cabal that Red can expose and works inside the government? So was he the mole or was the guy Red killed the mole? And who exactly did Red kill? Who is Newton Philips?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Blacklist on iTunes.

Castle: It is still pretty vague as to if Papa Castle really is deep undercover or really just wanted by the CIA.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Ever since we learned that Skye’s mother was probably a SHIELD Agent it was way too obvious that Mae was her mother. That was until this week when we learned that the lady that dropped Skye off was not her mother but was protecting the 084: an object of unknown origin is followed by death wherever she goes. Of course that does not completely rule out Mae as her mother, but could technically be true, but it is becoming more unlikely.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Justified: Oh, Loretta, why are you stuck in sitcom hell? Hopefully next season, which sadly will be the show’s last, will be Raylan rescuing Loretta from the evil clutches of new bad guy, The Toolman.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Suburgatory: I wonder if they had a different plan for the premiere that they had to change when Tessa’s mother got cast in another show. Undoubtedly Tessa would end up back with George in their old house eventually because that is the show, but this seemed a bit rushed and I wonder if it had been at the end of the first episode instead of the beginning. But that was a very appropriate use of Royals at the end of the show. Though I do not like the new title sequence, way too creepy.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Nashville: Well that was a quick death for Peggy, I would have expected her to be on life support for a full episode and teased her or Will ending up being the dead one a little longer. Unfortunately Will survived the episode and is back to being a closeted guy he has been all series. Hopefully Layla will give TMZ another call and out him so that character can finally be interesting. And is Juliet the first person to go up against the crazy religious picketers and come out looking worse? Anyone who they picket in the real world always ends up looking better.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

Community: So we get a farewell to Pierce and Troy in the same episode. Pierces parking gift was funnier than it had any right to be. Chevy Chase was kicked off the show but I am confused at why Donald Glover is leaving. Does it really taking up too much time that he cannot do his music and the show at the same time? After hearing his last album, he probably should not have quit his day.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: It was not advertised, but we got our first look at the upcoming About a Boy remake when the lead popped up at the poker game (it will get a proper premiere during the Olypmics before settling in on Tuesdays after The Voice). Of course he makes a joke about never having kids. Other than that, the episode was a big downer between a drunken Amber and the continuing marital problem between Joel and Julia. Ugg.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Grimm: C’mon promo monkeys, when you say the episode “delivers” with images of a pregnant character on the screen, she has to at least go into labor at some point of the episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Grimm on iTunes.

Helix: Again, my main take away from the second episode is that the younger CDC chick is quite attractive, even with a massive scar on her back. So did she have major back surgery, is she infected and that is a symptom? Since this is a sci-fi show, I am sure we will find out long after we stopped caring about it.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Helix on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 1/12/14

Revenge: I really have amnesia storylines with a fiery passion. Well at least it looks like Emily got her memory back by the end of the episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Castle: I probably say this every time this is brought up, but did we always know Ryan actually had a first name and that name is Kevin? Seriously future writers, if you are going to predominately use a character’s last name, do not make it something that can be confused as their first name.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: We finally learned what happened to Agent Coulsen in “Tahiti” and… some machine ticked his brain for days after he died. Alrighty. I guess the question now is why is Coulsen so important that Director Fury would go to such lengths to revive him because I doubt he simply needed a Euchre partner.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. on iTunes.

Pretty Little Liars: After years of predicting that Allison was not as dead as the show would have us believe since episode, I was vindicated during the last finale when she finally showed her face. And then quickly disappeared as the Liars instead of trying to find her again spent their time trying to figure out who is in her casket (I would say the better question would be who got everyone to believe it was Allison and how did they do it; but then again none of these girls are Veronica Mars even if Spencer was able to get Radley shut down). And even though his spin-off started weeks ago, Caleb finally came back to town to break up with Hanna. Though I wonder how fast he will crawl back to her once his new show is canceled. I really do not see it going on much longer.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

Justified: What a nice touching tribute to author Leonard Elmore, whose short inspired the show, at the start of the show. I do not remember any show that took that much time to pay tribute to someone tied to that show aside a title card (and even those usually come at the end of the episodes). But the best tribute is to take his vision and turn it into the best show on television which Justified continued to be with a stellar premiere. Raylan was again on point, and nicely bookended the episode shooting inflatable objects. Another strength of the show is the stupidity of its criminals and Dewey Crowe may be the dumbest of them all. Even though he was in only two scenes, both were instant Justified classics. The first took us down memory lane as a lawyer reminded us of every run in Dewey had with the Marshall Service, and the second ending in Raylan shooting his first inflatable object of the episode. Then you had Wynn Duffy’s eyebrows getting promoted to series regular and Dave Foley showing up as one of “The Canadians.” All the greatness was not even ruined by the appearance of Michael Rappaport.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: Apparently I was not the only one thinking about the living situation if Penny and Leonard got married (it is really disturbing how much I have the same thoughts as Sheldon). And Sheldon’s forced vacation with Penny was much more entertaining than the one he spent with Amy a couple seasons ago. The whole episode could have been the two practicing yoga and I would not have minded.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: It is odd with a serial butt crack abuser running around on an episode with Ben Folds, the nineties band the bandit was a fan of with was Dave Matthews Band. Even more shocking was the writers did not use the plotline as an excuse to have Annie bend over. And now that I think of it, if the story is ever revisited, I have a feeling Annie’s Boob will end up being the culprit.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Helix: I still have not gotten around to watching Battlestar Galactica so I have no expectations going into the show because of what the guy previously created and my main take away from the show was… the young CDC member is quite attractive. I really do have much else to say about the show so far.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Helix on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 1/11/13

Quote of the Week: Hey Raylan, can I get you a (expletive deleted) or something? (Wade Messer, Justified)

Song of the Week: Ants Marching – Dave Matthews Band (Community)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Polar Vortex: At the beginning of the year there was Winter Storm Hercules and I sat there watching the Weather Channel thinking, come on, you just making stuff up now because people like naming hurricanes. If you really want to scare me, give it some weird scientific name. Then came the Polar Vortex. Like El Nino before it, ish got real. And by real, I mean real cold. And if -15, the lowest I saw here, was not bad enough, the wind chill at the time was -32. And of by tomorrow it is supposed to be 50 and raining. Mmm, I am beginning to think these climate change people are on to something.

Preview Picture of the Week:

"Drowning Girl" Switched at Birth, Monday at 8:00 on ABC Family

Free Download of the Week: Reflections – MisterWives (iTunes): For years, record labels have been holding the vast majority of their marquee albums until the fourth quarter to get those Christmas dollars so the first half of the year is usually left over hits from the previous year’s releases, new artists (Lorde dropped her Love Club EP in early March last year), or older acts who finally breakthrough with little competition (like Robin Thicke and Daft Punk). This week new band MisterWives released a very eighties inspired dance EP. Will they be the 2014 version of Lorde? But maybe Reflections could be a less annoying 2014 alternative to I Love It.

New Album Release of the Week: High Hopes - Bruce Springsteen

New DVD Release of the Week: Fruitvale Station

Video of the Week: Last weekend was the first weekend where I could just sit back, relax, and not worry that it would be ruined by a Brandon Weeden sighting. It looks like I will not have to worry about actually learning how to spell the Browns coach’s name because he got fired last week. But cheer up Browns fans, it looks like our next couch will come straight out of New England. No, Patriots Offensive Coordinator Josh McDaniel has already pulled out of the running; nope the next coach of the Cleveland Browns is Denis Leary! Or at least he is the coach of the Browns in the upcoming Draft Day movie. Yep, twenty-five years after Major League, yet another Cleveland sports team is so bad, they need to be saved by Hollywood. As Bill Simmons would say: God hates Cleveland.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Suburgatory, Wednesday at 8:30 on ABC: Two seasons ago, Suburgatory was not just my favorite new comedy of the season, it was my favorite comedy period. It went through some rough patches during its sophomore outing because they started focusing more on the adults when the children are the main attraction on the show. The season ended with Tess moving in with her mother, but I am guessing that will not last long because her mom got cast on another show this season. And do not ask me why the show did not return with ABC’s Wednesday comedy lineup last week. Instead there was a double dose of Super Fun Night which is inexplicably still on the air (though I understand why the network would want to burn that show of as soon as possible but its replacement is not scheduled to debut until late February).

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 1/4/14

Quote of the Week: Minuses are made up! (Annie Edison, Community)

Song of the Week: True Colors – Cyndi Lauper (The Millers)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: Television Is Back Already: Most shows started their “winter break” less than a month ago, but shows started returning as early as last Thursday and most other shows will make their return this week. Here is a full run down of what I will be watching into the spring and when they return:

Monday
8:00 – Switched at Birth (January 13)
8:00 - How I Met Your Mother (January 13)
8:00 – The Voice (February 24)
8:30 – 2 Broke Girls (January 13)
9:00 – Dallas (February 24)
10:00 – The Blacklist (January 13)
10:00 – Castle (January 6)

Tuesdays
8:00 – Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (January 7)
8:00 – Pretty Little Liars (January 7)
8:00 – The Voice (February 25)
9:00 – The Goldbergs (January 7)
9:00 – Ravenswood (January 7)
10:00 – Justified (January 7)
10:00 – Perception (February 25)

Wednesdays
8:00 – The Middle (January 8)
8:30 – Suburgatory (January 15)
9:00 – Modern Family (January 8)
10:00 – Nashville (January 15)
10:00 – The Americans (Febuary 26)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (January 2)
8:00 – Community (January 2)
8:30 – The Millers (January 2)
9:00 – The Crazy Ones (January 2)
9:30 – The Michael J Fox Show (January 2)
10:00 – Parenthood (January 2)
10:00 – King of the Nerds (January 23)
10:00 – Vikings (February 27)

Fridays
8:00 – Last Man Standing (January 10)
8:30 – The Neighbors (January 10)
9:00 – Grimm (January 3)
9:00 – Hannibal (February 28)
10:00 - Helix (January 10)

Saturdays
9:00 - Orphan Black (April 19)
11:30 – Saturday Night Live (January 18)

Sundays
9:00 – Once Upon a Time (March 9)
9:00 – Shameless (January 12)
9:00 – Revenge (January 5; moves to 10:00 March 16)
9:00 – The Walking Dead (February 9)
10:00 – House of Lies (January 12)

TBD
Penny Dreadful
The Strain
Mad Men
Survivor

Preview Picture of the Week:

“Who’s in the Box” Pretty Little Liars, Tuesday at 8:00 on ABC Family

The Big Bang Theory: I got a little worried when Penny proposed to Leonard because that would ruin the whole dynamic of the show. Well assuming Leonard moved in with Penny. Penny moving in with Leonard and Sheldon would be awesome, but the other way around would be disastrous. Who would be dumb enough to move in with Sheldon, Raj would know better, Amy would not be a good idea. That could only leave Stuart which could be interesting unless they would bring in someone new.
You can stream recent episodes on cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

Community: When it was announced that creator Dan Harmon would be brought back to the show after a year’s sabbatical I assumed we would be treated to a last season was all a dream season opener like Dallas. Nope, it actually did happen, the group actually graduated and now are back at Greendale (except for Pierce who is just resigned to being a creepy hologram. Oh, except for Jeff who is now a teacher. It was a wise idea to bring the show back with two episodes just to make a smoother transition back into the original creative team after the last fan-fiction type season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Parenthood: I actually thought Drew’s friend with benefit was going to propose Amy join their benefit package. Nope it turns out she was just jealous. Too bad for Drew who has constantly been on the bottom of the Braverman Power Rankings for five seasons now. That storyline would be a nice reward for having nothing to do on the show. But I guess he should be happy he has not been dragged into the Julia / Joel saga.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.


Free Download of the Week: Artists to Watch in 2014 (Amazon MP3)

New Album Release of the Week: Scratch My Back and I'll Scratch Yours - Peter Gabriel and Friends

New DVD Release of the Week: Archer: The Complete Season Four

Video of the Week: The first official trailer for Veronica Mars was released though most of it we have already seen aside from our first looks at Deputy Leo, the new Sherriff Lamb, and a blink and you will miss it cameo from Dax Sheppard. But the big question will the people who did not see the show be inspired by the trailer to actually see it? The first half a minute is filled with boring trailer clichés but it does finally pick up when Dick Casablancas finally makes an appearance. We will have to wait until March 14 to see how many people who did not contribute to the Kickstarter campaign are willing to part with their hard earned cash now that the product is finished.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Justified, Tuesday at 10:00 on FX: Instead of the usual Big Bad, last season Justified went with more of a mystery season with the Ballad of Drew Peterson. The season five premiere is entitled “A Murder of Crowes” and from the promos that feature a newly released Dewey Crowe, I am guessing he will be playing a bigger part this season. As great as the last season was, it was severely lacking some Dewey Crowe. The only question is if Dicky Bennett also became a free man since last season, they maybe the greatest moronic duo since Beavis and Butt-Head.

The Best Television Shows of 2012-13

I have been making top ten lists of the best television shows of the year since 2006 and this is the first time ever that all ten spots went to dramas. Comedies really need to step their game up. Of the shows that used to be on this list, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother are just getting long in the tooth, Suburagtory suffered a sophomore slump, and the Dan Harmon-less Community was a disaster while newbies The Neighbors and Go On were solid, they just were not good enough. Here were the shows that were.

1. Justified Season 4 (FX)

2. Homeland Season 2 (Showtime)

3. Hannibal Season 1 (NBC)

4. Parenthood Season 4 (NBC)

5. The Americans Season 1 (FX)

6. Nashville Season 1 (ABC)

7. Mad Men Season 6 (AMC)

8. Bunheads (ABC Family)

9. Dallas Season 1 (TNT)

10. Sons of Anarchy Season 5 (FX)



After playing the bridesmaid for three straight seasons, Justified finally topped this list for the first time ever while FX took up two spots for the first time since I declared it the best network on television back in 2010 (which was also the last time Sons of Anarchy made the list). It also lifted FX over CBS for the third most shows on my best television shows list over the past eight years (12), just short of NBC (18) and ABC (15). CBS (11) is the only other network over five shows over that time. Now here are the shows that amassed the most Quote, Song, and Scene of the Week.

Quote of the Week
Pretty Little Liars – 5
Dallas – 4
Justified – 4
Mad Men – 4
Hannibal – 3
The Big Bang Theory - 2
Homeland – 2
Leverage – 2
The Neighbors – 2
Revenge – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
Bunheads – 1
The Challenge – 1
Franklin and Bash – 1
Go On – 1
Grimm – 1
Happy Endings – 1
House of Lies – 1
Modern Family – 1
Nashville – 1
Parenthood – 1
Shameless – 1
Suburgatory – 1
Survivor – 1
The Walking Dead – 1
Weeds – 1

Song of the Week
Bunheads – 5
Suburgatory - 4
Go On – 3
The Neighbors – 3
The Americans – 2
Castle – 2
Community – 2
Covert Affairs – 2
Dallas – 2
House of Lies – 2
How I Met Your Mother – 2
Justified – 2
Mad Men – 2
Parenthood – 2
Pretty little Liars – 2
2 Broke Girls – 1
The Big Bang Theory - 1
Franklin and Bash – 1
Last Resort – 1
Nashville – 1
Once Upon a Time – 1
Shameless – 1
Sons of Anarchy – 1
Totally Biased – 1
The Walking Dead – 1
Weeds – 1

Scene of the Week
Bunheads – 8
Suburgatory – 7
The Neighbors – 6
Go On – 3
Hannibal – 3
Community – 2
Modern Family - 2
Parenthood – 2
Pretty Little Liars – 2
Don’t Trust the B---- in Apt. 23 – 1
Castle - 1
The Big Bang Theory – 1
Last Resort – 1
Nashville – 1
The Voice – 1

The Ninth Annual Scooter Television Awards

Welcome to the 8th Annual Scooter Television Awards honoring show that aired a majority of their season between June 2012 and June 2013. Without further ado, here are the winners of the 2013 STA's:

Best Scripted Show: Justified

Best Sitcom: The Neighbors

Best Reality Show: Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites

Best Animated Show: Young Justice

Best Talk Show: Pardon the Interruption

Best Talk Show Host: Norm Macdonald

Best Talent Competition: The Voice

Best New Show: Hannibal

Best Mini-Series: The 80’s: The Decade that Made Us

Best Web Series: Burning Love: Burning Down the House

Guiltiest Guilty Pleasure: Dallas

Best Awards Show: 2013 Grammy Awards

Best Hour of TV: Decoy - Justified

Biggest Shocker: Langley being bombed (Homeland)

Worst Idea: Keeping Carrie on her meds (Homeland)

Worst Moment: Caroline Glaser getting voted off The Voice

Biggest Disappointment: Revenge's sophomore slump

Best New Title Sequence: Hannibal


Best Song Placement: In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins (The Americans)

Best Karaoke: Ho Hey – Lennon and Maisy (Nashville)

Best Singing Competition Performance: Dream On – Amanda Brown (The Voice)


Best Dance Sequence: Making Whoopie (Bunheads)

Best Fight (Scripted): Tessa vs. Dalia (Suburgatory)

Best Fight (Unscripted): Frank vs. Dustin and Nany (The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons)

Hottest Token Hot Chick:

Best Character: Raylan Givens (Justified)

Best New Character: Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal)

Best Recurring Character: Abigail Hobbs (Hannibal)

Best Guest Appearance: Bob Newhart (The Big Bang Theory)

Best Duo: Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham (Hannibal)

Most Entertaining Reality “Star”: Andrea Boehlke (Survivor: Caramoan)

Most Annoying Reality “Star”: Brandon Hantz (Survivor: Caramoan)

Best Quote: First thing we are going to do is acknowledge this guy is awesome. He shoots Theo Tonin, fakes his own death in a spectacular fashion, pushes a guy out of an airplane while he’s flying it, parachutes into Harlem County with enough coke and cash to kick start the economy of a small country, and then he has the balls to get a job in law enforcement, not once, but two times. He’s spends a couple days riding around with you while you’re looking for him, and now he’s run off with a hooker that’s half his age. That’s some bad (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted). (Art Mullen, Justified)

Show That Should Be Brought Back: Go On

Most Anticipated New Show of Next Season: Masters of Sex (Showtime)

Biggest Question for 2012-2013: Will The Veronica Mars Movie live up to the television show? And more importantly, will it be successful enough for Netflix (or Amazon, or any other channel or streaming site) to fully resurrect the series?

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 4/7/13

Revenge: Booooooo!!! How dare they kill off Rebecca Logan? Seriously Creepy Initiative Dude, why keep her alive six weeks only to kill her? This show really trying my patience. C’mon, they kill of Rebecca Logan and Charlotte is still around, slapping people at parties?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: Clearly the scariest zombie the popped up on screen this episode was the commercial for the walking corpse that is The Killing. Truly horrifying that the show is returning for a third season. But anyway. After giving Andrea her own episode two weeks ago they actually killed her off. Good riddance. I guess it was artistically cool that she basically went out like her sister, even by her own hadn again, but it is hard to care when you have never cared about the character. This leaves only five original actors from the first season. Who would have guessed Carol would outlast everyone? But it looks like they are going to get an influx of new red shirts for next season when they literally bussed in a bunch of old folks and children who were too weak to fight from Woodbury. Yeah, that will turn out well. Much like Peter, Bjorn, and John, I don’t really care about the young folks taking about the young stuff. And I don’t care about the old folds talking about the old style too. And why go back to the prison at all?
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: They are not really going to kill off Steve are they? Not that I would mind that much, I am beginning to think the show would have been better had he stayed on the lamb. And who knew Frank had it in him to take the fall for Carl. Did not see that coming.

The Voice: There is nothing I hate more then when people whine about semi-professionals being on the show because they think those contestants have an unfair advantage. I watch the show because the semi-professional makes the show much better than the armature competitions out there. And the unfair advantage argument does not hold because the three most successful people to ever have auditioned failed to get anyone to turn a chair. Last season one hit wonder Cupid and Christopher Trousdale, who sold a million records as part of Dream Street went home early. And this week Julie Roberts, who has a gold record, could not even get her acquaintance Blake Shelton to turn around. Personally I am disjointed that I have not recognized any contestant this season. Where is the token Warped Tour Chick for the season (granted Cassadee Pope did not show until the last week last season.

One complaint I do have had about The Voice is that it lacked a true rock judge (Adam Levine is more a pop-RnB guy even if his band has a guitar player). Maybe Shakira will fill that box. This week she picked up Brandon Rouch who looks like he fronted a band from Seattle twenty years ago as well as returning rock singer Garrett Garnder (who almost did not get anyone to turn around two straight seasons until Sharika pushed her button at the last second). And who would have guessed Seven Nation Army would become the standard from The White Stripes library? This is the third straight season someone perform the song. I would have guessed We’re Going to Be Friends would be their song most likely to become a standard.

Oddly they cut down the Blind Auditions by three hours this season, with only twelve contestants per team, down from sixteen last season but back to season two numbers. This makes me wonder if they are already getting rid of the useless Knockout Round. But does that also mean are they getting rid of The Steal because I do not see them having seven or eight contestants from each team in the Live Round. My guess is they will have the Battle Round with a Steal (Shakira already mentioned stealing people), the Knockout Round (which hopefully they introduce another steal) with four or five contestants per team making it to the Live Rounds.


You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Dallas: When the babies flat lined last week, I did not give much thought to it because assumed they would revive them by this week. Wow, they actually let the twins die. I not sure if that was the right decision because the storylines might be much better tying Christopher and Pamela forever. But in the short term, it will be interesting if Pamela will eventually find out her father was behind the explosion.
You can download Dallas on iTunes.

Castle: I knew from the beginning that Castle’s imagination was getting the best of him by thinking his across the street neighbor killed his girlfriend, but I have to admit by the time Beckett went over there, I starting thinking that maybe he was a murderer. And that was a great reveal that the whole thing was an giant birthday present. Which was a good thing because the other plot was a bit boring.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Justified: A good episode, but it seemed to be lacking something as a season finale. The scene with Raylan telling Augustine he would not leave the limo alive, even saying he had not left the limo yet as he exited it himself to like Sonny Tonin gun down Augustine was classic Raylan, and would have been a great moment for a middle of the season episode, but I wanted more. And it was weird that a season about getting Drew Thomson the finale lacked Drew Thompson, and the reason the FBI wanted Drew Thomson, Theo Tonin skipped town to the extradition free country of Tunisia. I wonder if Alan Arkin was unavailable all season and if this season would have been any different had he would had made an appearance.

So no Drew Thompson and no Ellen May (also conspicuously absent: Johnny Crowder who I am surprised made it out of the season alive) but Boyd and Ava had to spend the episode trying to clean up Ellen May’s confession, ultimately failing. I do not think it was a wise decision for the funeral director to let Boyd to stay out of jail, that will come back to bite him next season. Hopefully Ava gets sent to a co-ed prison where she can bunk with Dewey Crowe and Dickey Bennett.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: When I compiled my list of The 25 Dumbest Survivor Contestants Ever list fout seasons ago, number one was a no brainer to the point of being the most obvious number one of any list I have ever compiled: Erik giving up his Immunity Necklace. Though Brandon Hantz came close, Erik would still grab the top spot if I were ever to update the list. So it was quite amazing that the rest of this season rested in the hands of the ice cream scooper. This led to one of the most heart racing Tribal Councils in recent memory as you tried to figure out which way Erik (and to a lesser extent Sherri who took a defeatist attitude at tribal council).

Thankfully he chose wisely because had he gone with the alpha male alliance, it would have been a slow slog to the finale as the vote out their former Favorites tribemates. Instead now you have a solid alliance of four (Cochran, Dawn, Andrea, Philip), their lackeys (Brenda, Erik), two people completely on the outs (Sheri, Michael), and what’s left of the alpha male alliance (Malcolm, Douchebag #1, Douchebag #2) who would seem like the first three to go, except they have two Immunity Idols between them. So the solid alliance needs to keep Sheri with them AND recruit Michael (I told Philip it was a huge mistake to let Corrine keep Michael over Julia) to have enough people to split the votes. And even then, what if the two people the split the vote with both use an Idol? And what if the two lackeys and the Fans team up with the final Alpha Male Alliance member. So not only was the fate of the season in Erik’s hands once this season, it may not be the only vote where Erik becomes the deciding vote. God help us all.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: Wait, Hayley grows up to be Justine Bateman? What?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

Nashville: I find it interesting that during the Ho Hey sing-along, Deakon chose to shout the former instead of the latter at Rayna. And with all the interaction with Maddie this episode (he even told her she looked more like her mother than her father, who is not even her real father), I wonder when exactly is Deakon going to find out that she is his daughter.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Nashville on iTunes.

The Americans: Before I talk about this episode, for those who watched via DVR and had the final eight minutes cut off, you can re-watch the episode at fxnetworks.com until May 15.

I still think of the Jennings children the same way I do Chris Brody and Bobby Draper (not at all) but I did love the daughter’s reaction to the potential big news (mom’s too old to be pregnant) and the son’s history report (America won). But it was a nice tension breaker in what turned out to being the shocking plot twist that Philip inadvertently killed Stan’s partner. A real game changer of an episode.
You can download The Americans on iTunes.

Community: Uh oh, Allison has some Brie competition with the arrival of Larson to the show. But it was very disappointing that did not have a Brie off.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Hannibal: I feared with the serious subject manner that Bryan Fuller’s trademark wit would somehow get lost in the adaptation, but those fears were put to rest when Lawrence Fishburn yelled at someone to use the ladies room so he would continue to yell at someone without being bothered. And Dr. Lecter and his patient was pretty humorous too.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Hannibal on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 4/6/13

Quote of the Week: USE THE LADIES ROOM! (Jack Crawford, Hannibal)

Song of the Week: You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive – Brad Paisley (Justified)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: A Melancholy Happy Trails to Roger Ebert: Every critic of every medium, amateur of pro, holds Roger Ebert in high regard. For people of my generation, there was a good chance that he, along with his partner Gene Siskel, were the first critics we ever saw growing up. And they made it look so easy, when it came to it, a movie was given a thumbs up or a thumbs down, no shades of grey (well the thumbs would go way up or down occasionally) or extremely specific grades like Pitchfork’s decimal system. But his actual reviews were anything but simple, it was clear he really loved watching movies and never got tired of it, giving critiques right up to the end.

Preview Picture of the Week:

Archer "Sea Tunt Part 2" featuring Jon Hamm, Thursday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Hurricane – Charles Bradley (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: Great Albums On Sale for $3.99 or Less: Get albums on the cheap from A Tribe Called Quest, Ray Lamontange, Rage Against the Machine covers, and Bill Withers Greatest Hits.


New Album Release of the Week: Paramore - Paramore

New DVD Release of the Week: Boss: Season 2

Video of the Week: Ever want to see Ryan Gosling pull somebody on the floor by their teeth? Get you tickets for Only God Forgives now. Or just watch the red band trailer.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Mad Men, Sunday (Tomorrow) at 9:00 on AMC: When we last saw Don Draper, a young lady asked him if he was alone before the season faded to black with Don looking into the camera. We did not get to see the answer which meant Don managed to make it through an entire season without committing adultery (unless the fever dream where he killed his former conquest was not actually a dream like I theorized). Elsewhere Peggy left Sterling Cooper Draper Price, as well as Lane who left in a completely different circumstance. But he did get to punch Pete Campbell, who got a love shack in the city, before leaving this mortal coil. And Roger Sterling discovered LSD. In true Mad Men fashion, we know absolutely nothing going into season because creator Matthew Weiner like secrecy as much as forcing his son into his show.

57 Channels and Only This Is On: 3/30/13

Once Upon a Time: The scene back from the last commercial break may have been the most absurd thing ever aired on network television. First off you had Pinocchio die from a taser, c’mon, how does someone made of wood be harmed by a little electricity? But of course before he died, he was able to crawl out of the police station utter a couple nonsensical words before going to the big wood chipper in the sky. But since he died trying to help someone (and failing at that), the blue fairy was able to turn him into a real boy (again). And by real boy, an actual ten year old who apparently has no memory of the past twenty years. So Pinocchio gets to live even though he helped no one. In fact they are in more danger because of him.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: What a weird way to wrap up the foster brother storyline. Why not to tell Amanda your plan the whole time?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Walking Dead: I guess it is surprising Merle made it this long. He probably should have never made it off the roof. Or out of Woodbury. Or in a prison with Michonne. But it became pretty clear that it is a worse punishment not to die, because instead of putting a bullet in Merle’s head, he sentenced him to a life of a zombie. That may have been the most evil of all of the Governor’s evil deeds.
You can download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

Shameless: So Jimmy has had two years of med school and only one more to go? Since when did becoming a doctor only take three years? I thought it took ten.

The Voice: If there was any question to if the new judges could successfully replace the former ones, it was answered when Shakira pulled out her English to Country dictionary. And Usher had a very entertaining moment when he called Nashville a state despite being born in the same state where the city resides. Even though the coaching panel turned out to be solid, I was a bit worried with the talent on the stage after the first episode because all the contestants were petty lackluster including the weakest four chair audition in the Morgan Sisters. Things turned around the next day (no pun intended, okay, maybe a little) with two artists that deserved all the coach’s button pushes in Midas Whale and Sarah Simmons, both who ended up on Adam’s team making him the early frontrunner (not to mention the Michael Jackson backup singer he picked up a day earlier who I found overrated; Judith Hill is no Amanda Brown). And they really amped up the sob stories this season between the dead bandmates and dead children (made worse by no one turning around). Of course there some absurd sob stories. When you look like a cross between Amanda Seyfried and Emma Stone and the worst thing that has happened to you is getting teased about a snaggletooth, you probably should not be singing Mean.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice using the widget at right.


How I Met Your Mother: I would have liked this episode much better if the chopped off the last five minutes. The only way the ending could have been more depressing would be if they played a Ryan Adams song during it. And no, I will not tell you the ingredients of The Scooter McGavin alcoholic beverage that I created back in college because I am paranoid someone with plagiarize it. That and I may have forgotten the ingredients because I drank too many Scooter McGavin’s in college.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Castle: When we saw Ryan at home I thought, oh goodness, I have zero interest following that guy home. And then he went and got himself slapped by a mobster. Unfortunately the rest of the episode was not as entertaining as him getting slapped.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Go On: Between this episode and Cougar Town, I am beginning to wonder if there ever was a time when Courtney Cox was ever funny.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Justified: It became pretty clear that Colton would not make it to the end of the season, most likely at Tim’s hand, it is a little surprising he got gunned down before the finale (was this Tim’s first on screen kill in the series?) Which makes me wonder who will they kill off in the finale, or how many? Mike O’Malley cannot possible survive after threatening the life if Raylan’s unborn daughter. And will Theo Tonin finally make an appearance or will they be saving him to be the big bad of season five? I cannot wait to find out.
You can download Justified on iTunes.

Survivor: Caramoan: Apparently Philip did not learn that much from Boston Rob because I image Rob would have cut Corrine lose last night. He would have at the very least given Michael the boot because Corrine was cozying up with him. And splitting the vote was silly. If Michael or whatshername actually had the Idol, they would have played it last week. It is a shame that a Favorite is going to win because these are some of the most inept players in the history of the game.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Best of the Week: 3/29/13

Quote of the Week: A man who speaks out of both sides of his mouth deserves to have it permanently shut. (Boyd Crowder, Justified)

Song of the Week: Just the Way You Are – Billy Joel (as performed by Sheila and Jody, Shameless) or The Longest Time – Billy Joel (as performed by multiple Teds and Barneys, How I Met Your Mother)

Scene of the Week:


Big News of the Week: FXX Coming to a Small Screen Near You: It was rumored a couple of months ago that FX wanted to split into two separate networks, one for dramas, the other devoted to comedy (much like the Turner networks of TBS and TNT). It sounded like a good idea at the time, and then FX announced this week that the rumor was kind of true and FX would continue to cater mostly to drama while its new comedy channel would be christened FXX. Umm, months of discussions, FXX was the best they could come up with? Did they not realize that not only does the channel not roll off the tongue very well, it would launch a million “When is FX going to launch their porn channel FXXX?” jokes?

Jokes aside, FXX will launch September 2 in 74 million homes (mostly likely where Fox Soccer currently is on your channel guide until your cable provider moves it from the sports tier to the entertainment one). FX will actually be the same, airing comedies, dramas, and movies targeted at Adults 18-49 while FXX the 18-34 demographic. Also launching next fall will be FXM geared to old people (25-54) airing “prestige movies and related short-form original programming” and eventually limited series and mini-series. With the three channels, FX Networks plans to air 25 scripted original programs within the next three years, double of the programs that FX currently airs.

With the expansion, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League both have been renewed for two more season and will be movie to FXX along with Legit, which is renewed for a second season, and Totally Biased with Kamua Bell which will be airing five nights a week next fall (and a compilation episode Sunday nights). Justified (which was renewed for a fifth season), The Americans, Sons of Anarchy, American Horror Story: Coven, Louis, Archer, and Wilfred will all remain on FX.

FX Networks also announced a bunch of new shows coming soon. You may have already seen advertisements for The Bridge coming in July. FX also ordered a limited series order to Fargo inspired by the film of the same named and will be produced by the Coen Brothers who won an Oscar for writing the screenplay. Tyrant comes from the producing team behind Homeland and the pilot will be directed by two-time Academy Award winning director Ang Lee. And The Strain, written and directed by executive producer Guillermo Del Toro about vampires unlike any ever depicted on television or film. FX Networks also have two comedy pilots in the works including How and Why from Charlie Kaufman and animated comedy Chozen from Danny McBride. There are also other limited series in development from Sam Mendes, Paul Giamatti, Alexander Payne, and Shawn Ryan.

Interestingly enough, Anger Management, which FX is still on the hook for another eighty episodes, is only mentioned once in the very small print at the end of the press release ”The FX schedule will also include the acquired series Anger Management, Two and a Half Men and, coming in 2014, Mike & Molly” which I guess means that the show is also staying on FX. Either that or they are trying to figure out how to get out of those final eighty episodes. But that was one more mention than Brand X with Russell Brand.

Preview Picture of the Week:

The Americans, "Safe House" Wednesday at 10:00 on FX

Free Download of the Week: Norm Macdonald Live (iTunes)

Deal of the Week: $2.99 Albums: Get cheap album from arists like Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam, Alicia Keys, and the Eurhythmics Greatest Hits.


New Album Release of the Week: Dear Miss Lonelyhearts - Cold War Kids

New DVD Release of the Week: Marvel Cinematic Universe: Phase One - Avengers Assembled (10-Disc Limited Edition Six-Movie Collector's Set)

Video of the Week: First there was The Bachelor spoof, Burring Love, which of course the second season making fun of The Bachelorette, and with that season just wrapping up, we now get a trailer for the third season Burning Love: Burning Down the House which take aim at Bachelor Pad with its $900 cash prize. All of your favorites from the first two seasons are returning (assuming your favorites were not Kristen Bell or Adam Scott), a Burning Love superfan and Jeffery Ross. And you will not have to wait long because the season premieres April 12.


Next Week Pick of the Week: Hannibal, Thursday at 10:00 on NBC: Much like the recent Norman Bates reboot, I had very little interest in a modern day prequel of Hannibal Lecter. But where Bates Motel is being helmed by the dude from Lost, Hannibal is being run by Bryan Fuller who has created some of the best television shows of the millennium. Unfortunately, much like shows that air on Thursdays at 10:00 on NBC, most of Fuller’s shows do not last very long. But on the bright side, if Hannibal does not last very long, the quicker we may get a Pushing Daisies or Wonderfalls Kickstarter funded movie.