Don't Download These Videos vol. IX

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


What Goes Around…/…Comes Around - Justin Timberlake (NSFW)



Do we really need a nine minute epic from Justin Timberlake? Probably not. But at least when he did, he went all out leading to the highest of high comedy (well the unintentional kind). The hallway scene could be the funniest scene in a video that isn’t meant to be since Pat Benatar confronted her pimp in Love is a Battlefield (see on YouTube). And why does JT chase after she storms out when he catches her cheating? Why doesn’t he do what normal people do when they catch a boy/girlfriend cheating, go home and listen to Cry Me a River on repeat?


Read My Mind - The Killers



I’m not sure how filming a video in Japan falls into The Killers recent Spaghetti Western look that they have been sporting for this album, but their look against a Japanese backdrop may be the least odd thing about the video filled with a Japanese Elvis and the hint of dude on puppet love.


Alfie - Lily Allen (NSFW)



We Americans may just be discovering the greatness of Lily Allen, but most of the rest of the world are already on her fourth single, the ode to her lazy brother, Alfie. As a little brother myself I probably should like the song and video, but how can you resist the best puppet porn since the creators of South Park last made a movie?


PDA (We Just Don’t Care) - John Legend



Here’s one for all of you celebrating Valentine’s Day tomorrow. I know John Legend will get plenty of play around the McGavin household. Although there won’t be any PDA in the park because it seems we have gotten about a foot a snow per hour here today. And for everyone who will refer tomorrow as just Wednesday, I have a Lyrics Quiz just for you coming Thursday so be sure to check back then.

We on Award Tour: 2007 Grammy Awards

The Grammy’s are always the best award shows of the year, but going into this year’s event you had a sense that the show would be an off year considering that 2006 wasn’t the best year for music in recent year. I first realized this as every year I make a mix tape for my sister of the best songs of the year for Christmas but this past year but only came up with about forty-five minutes of music. I ended up filling the rest of the album with seven different versions of Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy. In the end this year’s Grammy’s were solid but were missing a big water cooler event. In fact the only unannounced performers were Earth, Wind & Fire jumping on stage with Ludacris. The show may have been better off not announcing The Police reunion instead tease something big. But anyways. Her are some more thoughts on the big show:


- The big show starts off with the much hyped reunion of The Police performing their very first hit Roxanne. If I had a complaint it would be they only performed one song. Well, at least Quincy Jones’ daughter didn’t jump on stage to sing Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.

- No host this year, but Jamie Foxx takes it upon himself to do a short monologue anyways that includes a funny Snoop Dogg left because he heard The Police were there joke.

- Natalie Maines defiantly looks better as a brunette. Although the darker hair didn’t help her fashion sense as the ruffles on her dress was a bad idea.

- Wow, two Prince sightings in as many weeks. And only he could have save the bland Beyoncé performance. Should have gone with Irreplaceable and put Prince to wok with his phallic guitar instead B.

- If there were a Jump the Shark equivalent in music it would letting the chick from Kids Incorporated in the The Black Eyed Peas. Need to come up with a catchy name though.

- It is nice to know that anyone with a record contract, a hand held camera, and a YouTube account can win a Grammy as OK Go takes home the Best Short Form Video Award.

- Can anyone explain to me why Justin Timberlake needs three piano players on stage with him when he is playing one too? But I like how he tried to convince everyone that the song What Goes Around... was written in voice of a friend of his. What I didn’t need though was the extreme close up during the Interlude part of the song.

- In the biggest shock of the night, in awards handed out earlier, "Weird Al" Yankovic didn’t win Best Comedy Album. I demand a recount.

- I wasn’t quite sold on it when I first heard it, but after sleeping on it, I appreciate the collaboration between Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend (whose Coming Home stole the segment) and John Mayer much more. Although I am now convinced Mayer is purposely making the Joe Cocker faces during his guitar solos, not coming naturally. And after hearing his acceptance speech for Best Pop Album I’m also convinced that his IQ is dropping fast since hooking up with Jessica Simpson.

- Who invited the chick from The Pussycat Dolls? (Fun fact, the only chick that sings in that group was also in the reality made group, Eden's Crush, um not that I remember them either.)

- Yeah Shakira basically did the same performance as the one she did at the VMA’s this past year except instead of Indian garb her and her dancers wore golden breast plates for some reason. They also edited something out of Wyclef’s rap which to me sounded like he was trying to say, “I move the crowd like I’m Obama.” A network censoring someone shouting out Barack Obama, what is this Fox?

- Leave it up to the liberal commies of the music industry to give the Song of the Year to the anti Bush Not Ready to Make Nice over the pro-God Carrie Underwood. Fascists. And was that the dude from Semisonic up accepting the award with the Dixie Chicks?

- Wow, CBS held out its blatant product placement until the second hour with the chicks from How I Met Your Mother out to present Gnarls Barkley. The costumes were a little bit of a letdown as I’ve already seen the airport theme, but they by far had the best performance of the night.

- In categories handed out earlier, Ludicris takes home Best Rap Song for Money Maker with lines like, “It took yo momma nine months to make ya, so ya better shake what yo momma gave ya.” Did someone forget to tell the voters that this was a songwriting award? Luda then picks up the Grammy for Best Rap Album and gives the best shout out of the night that wasn’t censored thanking Oprah and Bill O’Reilly.

- Your random presenters of the night are Mandy Moore, Luke Wilson and LeAnn Rimes as they give the Best Country Album to the Dixie Chick who quote Nelson from the Simpsons. Classy.

- It would be too easy to mention that naturally all Carrie Underwood did was last night was sing karaoke. But I swear her drummer is the black writer for Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip. She then walks away with the Best New Artist award. Be sure to say hello to the Starland Vocal Band on your way to obscurity.

- In categories handed out earlier, My Humps won a Grammy. Also winning a Grammy this year: Ike Turner. Feel free to discuss amongst yourself which is more disturbing.

- Samuel L. Jackson comes out and says his favorite words are “Rhythm and Blues.” C’mon Sam everyone knows one of your favorite words is “Mother.” If you are unsure of the other word check out my review of Snakes on a Plane.

- During the R&B section, Smokey Robinson comes out and sings one of my favorite songs of all time, The Tracks of My Tears. Then Lionel Richie sings one of my favorite songs of the eighties, Hello. Then some dude named Chris Brown comes out and proves Rolling Stone’s assertion that he’s a better dancer than he is singer. Then in the most inexplicable moment of the night Christina Aguilera finally completes her transition into a drag queen by singing It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World.

- Token Old Dude alert. Well at least he didn’t spend his time whining about illegal downloading like Michael Greene always did.

- Your random transition of the night goes to the Ludacris with Mary J. Blige and Earth, Wind and Fire morphing into James Blunt.

- They spent way too much hyping that lame Grammy Moment contest. If I wanted to hear mediocre singers singing other people’s crappy songs I’d watch America Karaoke.

- For those keeping track at home, Justin Timberlake and Carrie Underwood both got to sing three songs, The Police: one.

- In the second biggest upset of the night, Not Ready to Make Nice beats out Crazy for Record of the Year. I really need someone to explain what exactly what is it about NRtMN that makes it better than Crazy. And was I just not paying attention, did CBS do some crafty editing to not promote a show not on their network, or did the dude from Heroes show up late because I didn’t notice him up to this point.

- The break announcer said the Red Hot Chili Peppers were going to have the performance that everyone will be taking about today. Um, what exactly should I be talking about, that it snowed, a trick they pulled at the VMA’s circa the Dave Navarro era?

- I had to chuckle at Al Gore when he talked about environment friendly the music industry is considering the stage was just covered in fake snow which I doubt is too good for the environment.

- Scarlett Johansson is recording an album. But how bad can it be when people like Lindsay Lohan and Jennifer Lopez have set the bar so low for actresses turned singers? She and Don Henley are out to give the Dixie Chicks a complete sweep for the night adding Album of the Year to names. Yeah they made a good album, but I wonder if people voted for them more because of their anti-Bush statements then the music itself.

Don't Download These Videos vol. IV

There have been a couple of videos that have caught my eye lately so I though I’d give them some love since the death of Musical Television left a void for a forum on the art form so here they are courtesy of YouTube. I advise you to watch them before you read my reviews if you don’t want me to spoil things. If you are interested in buying the video through iTunes, click the title link (where available, if not the link goes to YouTube where you can watch the video in full screen). If you are interested in buying the song, look for a link in the analysis.


Hurt - Christina Aguilera



Yeah the big plot twist under the big top has been done before and to better effect by U2 and in claymation by Alice in Chains, the chair spinning thing is annoying, and Christina Aguilera continues her decent in to looking more and more like a drag queen, but when it comes there are very few videos that give me the chills and this is one of them. And even though Johnny Cash’s song with the same title is much better, Xtina’s song may have something to do with the chill factor. And am I the only one who thinks her “dad” looks like the new James Bond.


Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall



Keeping with the big top theme, here’s the latest video from KT Tunstall off of her debut not the recent acoustic one. Now my courses tell me that the song has been featured in a few crappy television shows, but don’t let that negatively effect the song (same goes for Chasing Cars that has wrongfully co-opted by even crappier shows). There is also a cool CGI version (for the British I think) of the video if you can hunt that one down.

Wanted - Rhymefest



There is something seriously wrong with the charts that a fill with disposable rap songs that pretty much are the exact same song, yet the originally refreshing Rhymefest can seem to get a hit. Here’s his latest album from the film Half Nelson. To be honest one of the reasons I’m showing this video is to get more face time for the dude from The Notebook whom I used to get mistaken for back before he fell into obscurity. So hopefully this movie put him (and Rhymefest) back in the spotlight so I can get some “you remind me of the dude from The Notebook” lovin’.


Save Room - John Legend



In a story I broke yesterday, John Legend released the best baby making album of the millennium so far. Need proof? Look no further than the first single from Once Again where over the course of four minutes, Legend hooks up with as many as eight video hofessionals. My personal favorites are the token white chick and the chick in the cab. And once again, if there are any video hofessionals who would like to test out the baby making ability of the album and will be greater Cleveland area soon, shout me a holla.

Tonight I Wanna Groove and Let the Music Make You Move

Much has been made of the poor track record for the Grammy’s Best New Artist winners, but the award has also been handed out to such artists as Tom Jones, Carly Simon, Mariah Carey, and a little band out of Liverpool, England, called The Beatles. So don’t write off last year’s winner John Legend just yet. Plus it’s not like Best New Artist was the only golden gramophone that Legend took home that night as he also nabbed two other awards that night. Fun Best New Artist fact, Bob Newhart is also a winner. Yes that Bob Newhart.

On the Best R&B Album of last year Get Lifted, Legend effortless blended classic rhythm and blues with modern day hip-hop thanks to guest producers Kanye West, who also provided a verse, and will.i.am as well as a memorable spot from Snoop Dogg. But even though West and i.am are back behind the boards on the follow up Once Again, gone are the guest rappers as well as any resemblance to a hip-hop beat. Instead the album is inspired by some of his favorite singers. You can hear Tony Bennett’s influence, whom Legend recently did a duet with, on the opener Save Room where Legend croons over some mellow organs. Then on Show Me, Legend channels Jeff Buckley and puts it over some soul music. While Slow Dance sounds like classic Temptations had John Mayer played guitar for them.

There are times on the album where it sound like Legend is trying to recreate past hits like with Stereo, a song about a golddigger whose “favorite colors are platinum and gold” that might as well be called Used to Love U II. Thanks to the sparse instrumentation aside from the piano and lyrics dealing with relationships, Again could also go by Ordinary People Again. Although the diversity on the rest of the album makes it worth picking up and you might as well start engraving Legend’s name on the Best R&B Album Grammy for the second straight year.

But when it comes down to it, fore those who are missing great baby making albums that seemed to have disappeared along with Babyface’s career this is the album for you. If can’t get things done with songs like Slow Dance or PDA (We Just Don’t Care), where Legend encourages his companion to hook up whenever, wherever, it may be time to look into joining your local monastery. If fact if there are token hot chicks that are (or will be) in the Cleveland-metro area and would like to test out the baby-making ability of this album shout me a holla. (Scooter’s Note: This will only be a test so no actual baby will be made in the test run, just the act of baby making)

Song to Download - Slow Dance

Once Again gets a on my Terror Alert Scale.

We on Award Tour - 2006 Grammy Awards

There is nothing more disturbing than seeing that American Karaoke actually had more viewers. Seriously, people would rather watch amateurs who, if they had any talent at all wouldn’t need a reality show to get a record contract, than see U2 perform? Even the former best karaoker in the land, Kelly Clarkson, performed the first hour. Yeah, America has gone to hell in a hand basket in the past decade, but this has to be one of the saddest indicators yet. But anyways. Here’s my review of the best awards show in recent years, the Grammy's:

- The show starts up with the much hyped duet between Gorillaz and Madonna. Apparently duets these days mean the band plays a song, Madonna shows up at the end, and then quickly goes into her own song sans the cartoons. What a rip off. Plus I really didn’t care to see a 3-D version of the Gorillaz. And weren’t they missing a member? Isn't there an Asian chick in the band? And as much as I railed on the tools that watched American Karaoke, I can understand why anyone would switch the channel after see Madonna in a leotard. Luckily I taped it so I could fast forward.

- Alicia Keys, who won my hottest chick of the night award, came out with Stevie Wonder to give a way too long introduction, but they started to sing Stevie’s song was cool.

- Nicole Kidman was shown in the crowd next to Keith Urban. Interesting post-break up Nicole ends up dating another midget and Tom dates another giant.

- What was with Chris Martin from Coldplay throwing up the Spock hands during Talk?

- The Grammy’s love to do weird back to back performances and tonights was John Legend leading into Sugarland. Legend did a nice jazzier version of Ordinary People with a full band unlike the record where it’s just him and the piano. I was about to fast forward past Sugarland until I heard someone back stage talking through the speakers. Possibly the funniest part of the night. I wonder how fast that guy got fired.

- Seriously, people would rather watch American Karaoke than U2? Someone really needs to explain this to me. Way too much smoke during Vertigo though. It was funny when Mary J. Blige tried to hold Bono’s hand while he was trying to play guitar. The ending with “Coexist” on the screen was great with the Crescent Moon replacing the “C,” Star of David replacing the “X,” and the cross replacing the “T.”

- Worst dressed of the night had to go to Kanye West with the white gloves, shirt open to the navel and the Kool Moe Dee glasses.

- Wait, maybe that should go to Ben Rothertdjmtykjytberger with his jacket of Bettis’ Notre Dame jersey and a hat backwards. Why did they even let him the building looking like that?

- Was that the little girl from the video playing piano during Kelly Clarkson’s performance? It was great after the song and the camera scanned the crowd and she receive a one person standing ovation from the dude from Maroon 5.

- For years, presenters have pulled the “this next performer needs no introduction,” then proceeds to introduce them anyways. Finally Ellen actually says the line and brilliantly walks off stage. And of course Paul McCartney needs no introduction. Plus he even dusts off Helter Skelter during his performance.

- Wow, this must have been the most clothes I’ve seen on Mariah Carey since the pre-Honey days. But what was with the dude talking from the audience?

- They brought out some dude named Michael Bublé who promptly mispronounces “Extraordinary.” Way to waste you only time on primetime TV Michael.

- Kelly Clarkson beats Paul McCartney for best pop album. Using the good old Transitive Property from high school, does this mean Kelly Clarkson is bigger than Jesus?

- More country music up next. Where in the past while watching live, this made for a good bathroom break, but thanks to taping it, I could just fast forward.

- Okay, the next segment was a little hazy, and not sure if this really happened, it was so surreal, but here is the best recollection of what I think I saw. And even though I watched this a couple times to make sure, I can not validate that any of this actually First Dave Chappelle comes out to introduce a tribute possible the only person that makes him look sane these days, Sly and the Family Stone. It’s starts off harmless enough with John Legend, Joss Stone and some dude named Van Hunt who were backed by members of the Family Stone (no Rachel McAdams though), Niles Rodgers of Chic and… Randy Jackson? Then came a duet between Fantasia (how did she win a singing contest) and Devin Lima who I swear was the dude in LFO that didn’t nail Jennifer Love Hewitt (remember Summergirls? Oh never mind). This is the point where I think I was getting a contact high from the TV because Sly’s stash is that potent. Next up was Ciara singing with Maroon 5. Um, okay. Then out comes Will.I.Am doing a rap followed the introduction of Steven Tyler and Joe Perry who really don’t do anything. Then out of nowhere Tyler says, “Sly, let’s show them how we do it back in the day.” Then inexplicatively Sly himself, who is making only his second public appearance in my lifetime, come out with a five foot blonde Mohawk. Please read that last second one more time. Sly then plays a couple notes on his keyboard sings “dance to the music” about five times and just leave before the song ends. I doubt there is a better anti-drug campaign better than this segment.

- Next up is yet another Jay-Z/Linkin Park mash-up. This was really cool at first but now it’s just getting tired. Well that was until Paul McCartney came out to sing Yesterday. And if there was anything that came close to Sly’s oddness it would be Jay-Z telling Sir Paul to “Take ‘em up top.” I think I may still have been high. Oh and Jay-Z just happened to be wear a John Lennon shirt. Too bad Jay-Z didn't come out during Helter Skelter and did a couple bars of 99 Problems like from the mashed-up The Grey Album. Yesterday not the best song here.

- Interesting after announcing that Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own won Song of the Year they played We Belong Together instead.

- He may have been the worst dressed, but Kanye wins performance of the year with his college battle between KW State and JFU at the Grammy Halftime Show. This should have been the Superbowl halftime show because it was much more entertaining. But I really hope this is the last time we see Jamie Foxx milks Ray Charles memory. Sadly I doubt that will ever happen. It was nice to see the resurrection of Broke Phi Broke too. And how to cap such a great performance, apparently the Gammy’s though a gratuitous shot of James Taylor would do it. Yeah.

- Green Day wins Record of the Year. Yawn. They were so last year.

- How did Christina Aguilera go from the hottest chick on the planet to the trashiest to now looking like drag queen? This is a crime against humanity.

- Even Kanye couldn’t get too made at U2 winning Album of the Year for the second time, the other being The Joshua Tree. Which begs the question, what did Achtung Baby lose to? (Update: Achtung Baby lost to Eric Clapton's Unplugged in 1993. Also up for the award that year - the Beauty and the Beast Soundtrack. I wish I made that last part up. Annie Lennox's Diva and KD Lang's Ingénue rounded out the catergory.)

- For some reason they saved the obligatory old white dude speech for the end. But at least he didn’t whine about music downloads like Michael Green always did.

- I know people won’t like this comment, but I think everyone stopped reading along time ago especially after the Jesus mention, but I’ll say it anyways, Hurricane Katrina was the best thing to happen to Dr. John. Without it he’d be currently hanging around obscurity but with everyone’s guilt, they feel obligated to drag him out to every major event since then.

- The show ends with a great Wilson Pickett tribute, even if Sam Cooke messed up the second verse.

Best Songs of 2005

Before I go into the granddaddy of my Best/Worst Week, I would like to make special mention of something that really defies category yet was the most entertaining thing I saw or heard this year – R. Kelly’s Trapped In the Closet masterpiece. I didn’t think there could be anything R. Kelly related that was funnier than Dave Chappelle’s skit, Mr. Kelly found a way to top it and Trapped in the Closet is probably the only thing released this year that is a first ballot entry into the Scooter Hall of Fame. Now onto the Top 100 Songs of 2005, and feel free to leave your favorite songs of the year in the comment section:


1. Landed - Ben Folds
2. Gold Digger - Kanye West & Jamie Foxx
3. Breathe (2 AM) - Anna Nalick
4. Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own - U2
5. Mr. Brightside - The Killers
6. Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
7. Ordinary People - John Legend
8. The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
9. Telescope Eyes - Eisley
10. Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley
11. Diamonds From Sierra Leone - Kanye West
12. Breakdown - Jack Johnson
13. Existentialism On Prom Night - Straylight Run
14. Doesn't Remind Me - Audioslave
15. These Words - Natasha Bedingfield
16. You and Me - Lifehouse
17. Fix You - Coldplay
18. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
19. Love Love Love - Tristan Prettyman
20. Ohio (Come Back to Texas) - Bowling for Soup
21. All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
22. Somebody - Bonnie McKee
23. Gotta Get Up from Here - Ellie Lawson
24. I'm Feeling You - Santana & Michelle Branch
25. Work - Jimmy Eat World
26. Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson
27. 1 Thing - Amerie
28. Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
29. Club Foot - Kasabian
30. Testify - Common
31. Speed of Sound - Coldplay
32. Heard 'Em Say - Kanye West & Adam Levine
33. Soul Meets Body - Death Cab For Cutie
34. The Mixed Tape - Jack's Mannequin
35. Dreamgirl - Dave Matthews Band
36. Ashes - Embrace
37. Chocolate - Snow Patrol
38. Bullet and a Target - Citizen Cope
39. The Corner - Common, the Last Poets & Kanye West
40. A Lifetime - Better Than Ezra
41. Stars and Boulevards - Augustana
42. Home - Marc Broussard
43. Get Back - Ludacris
44. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson
45. Son's Gonna Rise - Citizen Cope & Santana
46. American Baby - Dave Matthews Band
47. Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls
48. Beverly Hills - Weezer
49. When in Rome - Nickel Creek
50. All Because of You - U2
51. Who Did You Think I Was? - John Mayer Trio
52. Some Hearts - Carrie Underwood
53. Trouble - Bonnie McKee
54. The One I Love - David Gray
55. Mind on the Road - Reverend Run
56. My Doorbell - The White Stripes
57. Original of the Species - U2
58. Revolution - Eric Clapton
59. Used to Love U - John Legend
60. City of Blinding Lights - U2
61. Inside Your Heaven - Carrie Underwood
62. Back to Me - Kathleen Edwards
63. Collide - Howie Day
64. When the President Talks to God - Bright Eyes
65. World On Fire - Sarah McLachlan
66. Chariot - Gavin DeGraw
67. Just Feel Better - Santana & Steven Tyler
68. In the Rough - Anna Nalick
69. Pon de Replay - Rihanna
70. Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
71. Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray
72. O' Sailor - Fiona Apple
73. You Gonna Love Me - Da Backwudz
74. Sugar, We're Goin Down - Fall Out Boy
75. Be Yourself - Audioslave
76. Walk Tall - John Mellencamp
77. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
78. Bad Day - Daniel Powter
79. Go! - Common, John Mayer & Kanye West
80. Landing in London - 3 Doors Down & Bob Seger
81. One Love - Hootie & the Blowfish
82. The Harder They Come - Willie Nelson
83. Your Time Has Come - Audioslave
84. Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down
85. Be the Girl - Aslyn
86. Right To Be Wrong - Joss Stone
87. Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
88. DOA - Foo Fighters
89. She Said - Brie Larson
90. Talk - Coldplay
91. Perfect Situation - Weezer
92. Who We Are - Hope Partlow
93. Till I Get to You - Nikka Costa
94. 4ever - The Veronicas
95. She Says - Howie Day
96. Everything to Me - Liz Phair
97. Empty Room - Marjorie Fair
98. Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy
99. I Wasn't Prepared - Eisley
100. Give a Little Bit - Goo Goo Dolls


Preview most of these songs and download them DRM free from Amazon MP3 using the widget below:

We on Award Tour - 2005 Grammy Nominations

After sitting threw some bad awards show, the big one, the Grammy’s, has finally handed out its nominations. With it brings back questions that still haven’t been answered like what’s’ the difference between R&B, Traditional R&B, and Contemporary R&B or why are collaborations allowed in the Duo, Trio or Group category when there is already a Collaborations category or why are there Latin categories when there is already a separate Latin Grammy’s? But anyways. Of all the awards shows the Grammy’s are the easiest to predict using these three rules: 1) When in doubt, pick the oldest person and if you’re dead that’s even better, 2) If you are nominated in the big three, you will sweep the genre specific categories, 3) If you just performed, you will win the next award. Unfortunately no performers were announced yet so that won’t help with my prediction today. Since there are 108 categories I narrowed down the ones her to those where I knew at least half of the nominees. For a full list check it out here and the awards will be handed out February 8. Now on to my predictions:


Record of the Year

We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz Featuring De La Soul
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
Gold Digger - Kanye West

Who Should Win: Gold Digger
Who Will Win: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Should Have Been Nominated: Landed – Ben Folds

This year’s competition is pretty poor with Green Day and Kanye West being the only three to be here. I could list a good ten songs that should be here including Ben Fold who got the shaft this year.


Album of the Year

The Emancipation of Mimi - Mariah Carey
Chaos and Creation in the Backyard - Paul McCartney
Love. Angel. Music. Baby. - Gwen Stefani
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - U2
Late Registration - Kanye West

Who Should Win: - How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Who Will Win: Chaos and Creation in the Backyard
Should Have Been Nominated: Wreck of the Day – Anna Nalick

This was a hard one because it pitted my favorite album from last year, U2, against a contender for this year’s crown, West, which was one of only two album to get the highest rating on my Terror Alert Scale. The sadly overlooked Nalick was the other.


Song of the Year (A Songwriter(s) Award; Artist names appear in parenthesis)

Bless the Broken Road - Bobby Boyd, Jeff Hanna & Marcus Hummon (Rascal Flatts)
Devils & Dust - Bruce Springsteen (Bruce Springsteen)
Ordinary People - W. Adams & J. Stephens (John Legend)
Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own - U2 (U2)
We Belong Together - J. Austin, M. Carey, J. Dupri & M. Seal (D. Bristol, K. Edmonds, S. Johnson, P. Moten, S. Sully & B. Womack, songwriters) (Mariah Carey)

Who Should Win: Sometimes You Can’t Make It on Your Own
Who Will Win: Ordinary People
Should Have Been Nominated: Breathe (2 A.M.) – Anna Nalick

The U2 song is a great relationship defining song, but this award usually goes to the sappiest song which would be Legend. I think the reason behind the extra parentheses for Mariah is that she stole lyrics from other song which, in itself, should exclude anyone from a songwriting award.


Best New Artist

Ciara
Fall Out Boy
Keane
John Legend
SugarLand

Who Should Win: John Legend
Who Will Win: John Legend
Should Have Been Nominated: Anna Nalick

Legend tied for the most nomination so he will, and should walk away with this award. The two glaring inclusions would be Ciara, who can’t sing at all, and Fall Out Boy who should be too sophomoric to be nominated for a Grammy especially with the omission of Nalick.


Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

It's Like That - Mariah Carey
Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Good Is Good - Sheryl Crow
I Will Not Be Broken - Bonnie Raitt
Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani

Who Should Win: Since U Been Gone
Who Will Win: Good Is Good
Should Have Been Nominated: Breathe (2 A.M.)

Never bet against Sheryl Crow at the Grammy’s even though this song and her whole album were pretty bland. But as for me, I can’t go against the guiltiest of all pleasures this year with Clarkson.


Best Male Pop Vocal Performance

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson
Fine Line - Paul McCartney
Walk On By - Seal
Lonely No More - Rob Thomas
From The Bottom of My Heart - Stevie Wonder

Who Should Win: Sitting, Wishing, Waiting
Who Will Win: Fine Line
Should Have Been Nominated: Landed – Ben Folds


Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal

Don't Lie - The Black Eyed Peas
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
More than Love - Los Lonely Boys
This Love - Maroon 5
My Doorbell - The White Stripes

Who Should Win: Mr. Brightside
Who Will Win: This Love
Should Have Been Nominated: You and Me - Lifehouse


Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals

Gone Going - The Black Eyed Peas & Jack Johnson
Virginia Moon - Foo Fighters Featuring Norah Jones
Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz Featuring De La Soul
A Song for You - Herbie Hancock Featuring Christina Aguilera
A Time to Love - Stevie Wonder Featuring India.Arie

Who Should Win: A Song for You
Who Will Win: A Time for Love
Should Have Been Nominated: Breakdown – Handsome Boy Modeling School & Jack Johnson

For those that are not familiar with it, A Song for You is the Donnie Hathaway (no relations to Anne) classic and shows that when Christina decides not to slut it up, she is actually a great singer.


Best Pop Vocal Album

Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
Wildflower - Sheryl Crow
Chaos and Creation in the Backyard - Paul McCartney
Love. Angel. Music. Baby. - Gwen Stefani

Who Should Win: Extraordinary Machine
Who Will Win: Chaos and Creation in the Backyard
Should Have Been Nominated: Wreck of the Day – Anna Nalick


Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance

Revolution - Eric Clapton
Shine It All Around - Robert Plant
Devils & Dust - Bruce Springsteen
This Is How a Heart Breaks - Rob Thomas
The Painter - Neil Young

Who Should Win: Revolution
Who Will Win: Devils & Dust

Which one of these is not like the others? If you guessed Rob Thomas, get yourself a cookie.


Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal

Speed of Sound - Coldplay
Best of You - Foo Fighters
Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own - U2

Who Should Win: Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own
Who Will Win: Speed of Sound
Should Have Been Nominated: American Baby – Dave Mathews Band

So Mr. Brightside is a pop song and All These Things I’ve done is a rock song. And Do You Want To is too. I always wonder how they decide what is in what genre.


Best Hard Rock Performance

Doesn't Remind Me - Audioslave
The Hand That Feeds – Nine Inch Nails
Tin Pan Valley - Robert Plant
Little Sister - Queens of the Stone Age
B.Y.O.B. - System of a Down

Who Should Win: Doesn't Remind Me
Who Will Win: Robert Plant


Best Rock Song (A Songwriter(s) Award; Artist names appear in parenthesis)

Best of You - Foo Fighters (Foo Fighters)
Beverly Hills - Rivers Cuomo (Weezer)
City of Blinding Lights - U2 (U2)
Devils & Dust - Bruce Springsteen (Bruce Springsteen)
Speed of Sound - Guy Berryman, Jon Buckland, Will Champion & Chris Martin (Coldplay)

Who Should Win: Devils & Dust
Who Will Win: Devils & Dust
Should Have Been Nominated: Sometime You Can’t Make It on Your Own

I find it odd that U2 was nominated for two different for Best Rock Song and Song of the Year.


Best Rock Album

X&Y - Coldplay
In Your Honor - Foo Fighters
A Bigger Bang - The Rolling Stones
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb - U2
Prairie Wind - Neil Young

Who Should Win: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Who Will Win: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Should Have Been Nominated: Stand Up – Dave Matthews Band


Best Alternative Music Album

Funeral - The Arcade Fire
Guero - Beck
Plans - Death Cab for Cutie
You Could Have It so Much Better - Franz Ferdinand
Get Behind Me Satan - The White Stripes

Who Should Win: Plans
Who Will Win: Get Behind Me Satan
Should Have Been Nominated: Everything in Transit – Jack’s Mannequin


Best Female R&B Vocal Performance

1 Thing - Amerie
Wishing On a Star - Beyoncé
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Free Yourself - Fantasia
Unbreakable - Alicia Keys

Who Should Win: 1 Thing
Who Will Win: Unbreakable


Best Male R&B Vocal Performance

Creepin' - Jamie Foxx
Ordinary People - John Legend
Let Me Love You - Mario
Superstar - Usher
So What the Fuss - Stevie Wonder

Who Should Win: Ordinary People
Who Will Win: Ordinary People


Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals

So Amazing - Beyoncé & Stevie Wonder
Cater 2 U - Destiny's Child
If This World Were Mine - Alicia Keys Featuring Jermaine Paul
So High - John Legend Featuring Lauryn Hill
How Will I Know - Stevie Wonder Featuring Aisha Morris

Who Should Win: So High
Who Will Win: How Will I Know

The nominees in the last three categories just show how sad the R&B genre is these day. Sadly most R&B has morphed into more hip-hop flavor thus ruining the genre. In fact most of these nominees were from the Luther Vandross tribute album. Hopefully Alicia Keys and John Legend can resurrect the genre in the next couple years.


Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance

Mine Again - Mariah Carey
Summertime - Fantasia
A House Is Not a Home - Aretha Franklin
If I Was Your Woman - Alicia Keys
Stay With You - John Legend

Who Should Win: If I Was Your Woman
Who Will Win: A House Is Not a Home


Best R&B Song (A Songwriter(s) Award; Artist names appear in parenthesis)

Cater 2 U - Rodney Jerkins, Beyoncé Knowles, Ricky Lewis, Kelly Rowland, Robert Waller & Michelle Williams (Destiny's Child)
Free Yourself - Craig Brockman, Missy Elliott & Nisan Stewart (Fantasia)
Ordinary People - W. Adams & J. Stephens (John Legend)
Unbreakable - Garry Glenn, Alicia Keys, Harold Lily & Kanye West (Alicia Keys)
We Belong Together - J. Austin, M. Carey, J. Dupri & M. Seal (D. Bristol, K. Edmonds, S. Johnson, P. Moten, S. Sully & B. Womack) (Mariah Carey)

Who Should Win: Ordinary People
Who Will Win: Ordinary People


Best R&B Album

Illumination - Earth, Wind and Fire
Free Yourself - Fantasia
Unplugged - Alicia Keys
Get Lifted - John Legend
A Time to Love - Stevie Wonder

Who Should Win: Get Lifted
Who Will Win: A Time to Love


Best Contemporary R&B Album

Touch - Amerie
The Emancipation of Mimi - Mariah Carey
Destiny Fulfilled - Destiny's Child
Turning Point - Mario
O – Omarion

Who Should Win: Touch
Who Will Win: The Emancipation of Mimi


Best Rap Solo Performance

Testify - Common
Mockingbird - Eminem
Disco Inferno - 50 Cent
Number One Spot - Ludacris
U Don't Know Me - T.I.
Gold Digger - Kanye West

Who Should Win: Gold Digger
Who Will Win: Gold Digger
Should Have Been Nominated: Mind on the Road – Rev Run


Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group

Don't Phunk with My Heart - The Black Eyed Peas
The Corner - Common Featuring The Last Poets
Encore - Eminem Featuring Dr. Dre & 50 Cent
Hate It or Love It - The Game Featuring 50 Cent
Wait (The Whisper Song) - Ying Yang Twins

Who Should Win: The Corner
Who Will Win: Don’t Phunk with My Heart
Should Have Been Nominated: You Gonna Love Me – Da Backwudz


Best Rap/Sung Collaboration

1,2 Step - Ciara Featuring Missy Elliott
They Say - Common Featuring Kanye West & John Legend
Soldier - Destiny's Child Featuring T.I. & Lil Wayne
Numb/Encore - Jay-Z Featuring Linkin Park
Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani Featuring Eve

Who Should Win: Numb/Encore
Who Will Win: Rich Girl
Should Have Been Nominated: Number One – John Legend featuring Kanye West


Best Rap Song (A Songwriter(s) Award; Artist names appear in parenthesis.)

Candy Shop - Curtis Jackson & Scott Storch (50 Cent Featuring Olivia)
Diamonds from Sierra Leone - D. Harris & Kanye West (J. Barry & D. Black (Kanye West)
Don't Phunk with My Heart - William Adams, Printz Board, Stacy Ferguson & George Pajon, Jr. (Kalyanji Anandji, Full Force & Indeewar) (The Black Eyed Peas)
Hate It or Love It - Curtis Jackson, A. Lyon, Jayceon Taylor & M. Valenzano (Baker, Felder & Harris (The Game Featuring 50 Cent)
Lose Control - M. Elliott, C. Harris & G. Isaacs III (J. Atkins, R. Davis & C. Hudson, songwriters) (Missy Elliott Featuring Ciara & Fat Man Scoop)

Who Should Win: Diamonds from Sierra Leone
Who Will Win: Diamonds from Sierra Leone
Should Have Been Nominated: Testify – Common

Seriously this is for songwriting with Candy Shop, Don’t Phunk with My Heart and Lose Control. Did they read the lyrics? They are defiantly not better than any Common song, who is the best lyrist.


Best Rap Album

Be - Common
The Cookbook - Missy Elliott
Encore - Eminem
The Massacre - 50 Cent
Late Registration - Kanye West

Who Should Win: Late Registration
Who Will Win: Late Registration


Best Comedy Album

The Agoraphobic Cowboy - Rick Moranis
Family Guy Live In Vegas - Various Artists
Luther Burbank Performing Arts Center Blues - Lewis Black
Never Scared - Chris Rock
The Right to Bare Arms - Larry the Cable Guy

Who Should Win: Chris Rock
Who Will Win: Rick Moranis


Best Compilation Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media

Beyond The Sea - Kevin Spacey
Napoleon Dynamite - (Various Artists)
No Direction Home: The Soundtrack - Bootleg Series, Vol. 7 - Bob Dylan
Ray - Ray Charles
Six Feet Under Volume 2 - Everything Ends

Who Should Win: Ray
Who Will Win: Ray

This will be a toss up between Dylan and Ray, but since Charles is dead, he gets the edge. The big surprise – Napoleon Dynamite? There really wasn’t a better compilation that that.


Producer of the Year, Non-Classical (A Producer's Award; Artists names appear in parenthesis)

Danger Mouse
• Demon Days (Gorillaz) (A)

Nigel Godrich
• Chaos and Creation in the Backyard (Paul McCartney) (A)

Jimmy Jam, Terry Lewis
• Be Blessed (Yolanda Adams) (T)
• Dance with My Father (Celine Dion) (T)
• Harajuku Girls (Gwen Stefani) (T)
• Never Too Much (Mary J. Blige) (T)
• Nobody Cares (Deborah Cox) (T)
• Pure Gold (Earth, Wind and Fire) (T)
• These Boots Are Made For Walkin' (Jessica Simpson) (S)

Steve Lillywhite
• How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (U2) (A)
• Mr. A-Z (Jason Mraz) (A)

The Neptunes
• Already Platinum (Slim Thug Featuring Pharrell) (T)
• Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani) (T)
• Let's Get Blown (Snoop Dogg) (T)
• On & On (Missy Elliott) (T)
• Say Somethin' (Mariah Carey Featuring Snoop Dogg) (T)
• Touch (Omarion) (T)

Who Should Win: Danger Mouse
Who Will Win: Nigel Godrich

Danger Mouse should win just because of the brilliant Gray Album he did a couple years back. And in case you are wondering, I believe “A” stands for album, and “T” stands for track.


Best Short Form Music Video

Lose Control - Missy Elliott Featuring Ciara & Fat Man Scoop
Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz Featuring De La Soul
Feels Just Like It Should - Jamiroquai
God's Will - Martina McBride
World on Fire - Sarah McLachlan

Who Should Win:World on Fire
Who Will Win: Feel Good Inc.
Should Have Been Nominated: The Denial Twist – The White Stripes


Best Long Form Music Video

No Direction Home - Bob Dylan
Trapped In the Closet (Chapters 1-5) - R. Kelly
End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones - The Ramones
Devils & Dust - Bruce Springsteen
Brian Wilson Presents Smile - Brian Wilson

Who Should Win: Trapped In the Closet
Who Will Win: No Direction Home

Would there be anything cooler than R. Kelly winning a Grammy for his opera? I don’t think so.