57 Channels and Only This Is On - 10/14/12

Once Upon a Time: I am a bit surprised that Sleeping Beauty does not recognize Snow White. Maybe she does not recognize her without wearing a bad wig. I guess this is a different place than the Enchanted Forrest because Regina’s mom is there (I assume she got sent to the real world). And with Mr. Gold really lose all his previous life memory if he crosses the city limits; he knew who he was even with the curse in tack. But the most surprising was the mass exodus of everyone just because the Evil Queen got her magic back. Is everyone really ready to forget everything just because they are scared of her?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Revenge: Holy Rebecca Logan sighting! She should really wear glasses more often. But that Grayson clan is very messed up. I am not sure who is more evil, Victoria for coming up with a plan to frame the White Haired Man by having Conrad beat the crap out of her or Conrad following her orders. But how could Emily trust the White Haired Man, he killed her father, of course he was going to try to tie up any loose ends that could get him exonerated.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

How I Met You Mother: Ted and Robin trying to burn each other on who had the better relationship is one of the dumber bits the show has done. And that is saying something.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Voice: Sure the Battle Round still is a drag, but I really do love the new Steal for a couple reasons. Of course what is great the some good talent that got to advance even though they lost because their coach put them up against a strong opponent or just chose the wrong singer. But my favorite inadvertent part of the steal is that point where Carson says the loser is available for a Steal and the cameras cut to the coaches staring back blindly. It is also funny how Caitlin Michele shunned Blake not once but twice. I wish they would add another steal to the Knockout Round so she could shun him a third time.

I do not know if the Steal is the cause, but it did seem the coach picked the winner more wisely this season. I was really shock that Cee-Lo made the right decision and picked Cody Belew over Domo, I thought he was going to be this season’s Erin Martin. Really the only battle this year I think the coach got wrong is when Adam picked Melanie Martinez over Caitlin, but Caitlin eventually got snatched up by Cee-Lo. And where Caitlin and Amanda Brown go rightfully picked, I had to scratch my head as to why anyone wanted to save Collin McLoughlin (especially when they let Nelly's Echo go by the wayside). Collin is so boring and bland, you could have told me he had one American Idol in the past couple years and I would have believed you.

The Voice also took another one of my suggestions by breezing through the Battle Rounds by resigning some of them to a montage. Although they should have also gone back to the four battles per hour because three per hour just drag on. Does anyone care about rehearsal time. Even though I enjoy the blander battles being resigned to the montage, you have to feel bad for someone like Lisa Scinta who managed to make it to the second round but only got about ten seconds of screen time. Hopefully they just montage the rest of Christina’s team because after the hot chick that did the backwards shimmy in the Blind Auditions, she really does not have anything left. Nathalie Hernandez was her best teen girl and she already went home.

Hopefully Nathalie is a cautionary tale to all the other fifteen year old girls out there. Natalie did have an interesting voice, but she was just way too young and lacked the experience Had she waited until she was twenty, or at the very least old enough to vote, she could have gone much further in the competition, instead she ended up just being lucky that anyone bothered to turn around for. It was also not a very good sign for that her coach’s final thought on her was that she probably should have chosen Blake instead.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.


Castle: I think this is the first time we have seen the new Captain not act like a sourpuss. Of course Castle had to go and break her toy which means she will probably be back to her old self by next episode.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Parenthood: The Braverman’s must not care about the recession because yet another one quit their job. Maybe the whole clan will end up working at the recording studio. Although I would guess that Julie and Joel will end up switching roles with Julia being the homemaker and Joel will go back to work.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I am not sure I will be able to watch the next season of Justified after seeing Boyd Crowder with humongous breasts riding a dude with a belly that was even better.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: This season got boring quick. Just have the one dude go to one tribe and the chick to the other and let’s just essentially start this season over.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: So is Haley going to be resigned to webchats for the rest of the season? Seriously, why not just spin her off with her and Dylan living together?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 9/30/12

How I Met You Mother: When they were scanning up the mother’s body I though there is no way they are actually going to show us are they? But of course they are not and we were blocked by that stupid yellow umbrella. I guess we did learn that Ted’s baby mama has thick legs. And I take it we will not even get to Barney and Robin’s wedding until the end of this season even though they first teased it at the beginning of LAST season. Hurumph.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Voice: I had to scratch my head when they brought back Daniel Rosa of all people (seriously, what the heck happened to Ducky), but it is even more befuddling that they let Dez Duron back again. He was boring last season and managed to be worse this season. I do not understand how anyone could turn around (the only explanation is that it is fixed). Hopefully Dez does not turn into this season’s James Massone whose hair is more memorable than his voice but still manages to inexplicably advance.

Two things happened this week that I am surprised took three weeks to happen. First off someone finally broke my Golden Rule of Karaoke Show: You are not ADELE so do not sing Adele. But Terisa Griffin was so entertaining will give her a pass. This was also the first week I finally recognized. No not the chick who opened for The Cheetah Girls, but Lelia Broussard (who got relegated to the Battle Rounds fodder package) who actually landed in at #94 on my list of The 100 Best Songs of 2011.

Another familiar face, to me at least, was Cassadee Pope of Hey Monday. It is weird that whenever a contestant I like comes up I hope they choose Blake and f I do not I hope they end up with Christina. When everyone was fighting over her I was resigned she would stupidly pick Adam who only cares about one team member each season and that person is an old dude with a failed record deal in his past and all but ignores everyone else (the promo before the commercial break even made it seem it would be a fight between Adam and Christina). Luckily Cassadee choose wisely and went with Blake where she can basically go ahead and pencil herself into the finals. Keep in mind the first two runners up on The Voice, Dia Frampton and Juliet Simms were veterans of the Warped Tour just like Cassadee (maybe The Voice should just hold tryouts at the Warped Tour this summer). And considering this is a very weak season she could very well win it. Although I am sure twelve year old girls will find a way of ruining this season like they ruin everything with internet voting.

But the highlight of the week was when Alexis Marceaux’s brother(? Boyfriend? Random dude who snuck in from the Napoleon Dynamite convention next door?) kept chanting, “You Want this Adam.” Dude better show up for the Battle Round. In fact can we just have him replace Carson Daly?



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice with the widget at right.

Castle: It has been so long; I cannot even remember how Beckett’s mom fits into the whole conspiracy theory thing. It really took me out of the episode racking my brain to how she fit into everything. And I am not sure I am ready for a season of Beckett and Castle hooking up, let along sneaking around.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.


Go On: The show has been entertaining enough, but I am not sure if I can continue watching now that every time I look at Matthew Perry all I will see is Rachel Maddow.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Go On on iTunes.

Parenthood: Well at least Kristina’s cancer is fairly small and may not need chemo (or so the doctors would have us believe, but this will probably still be a hard watch most of the season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: So Opie was brutally murdered this week. Alrighty. I had to scratch my head last week when Opie left his kids with his estranged stripper ex-girlfriend so he could hand out with Jax in jail, but to offer himself up to be killed? Just does not make any sense that he would be willing to die for a club that killed his wife and his father. Hopefully he had a very good life insurance plan so his kids will be taken care of.
You can download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Survivor: Philippines: (In my best Beavis voice): He he he he, she said boobie trap he he he he.
You can stream recent episodes over at CBS.com. You can also download Survivor: Philippines on iTunes.

Modern Family: I really hope Dylan finds a way back into the Dunfey house because I will be severely upset if we missed his whole time there.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Modern Family on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons: I am surprised that Big Eazy did not then I went in last week card. Seems like an easy way to decide things. And I wonder if The Challenge producers finally ran out of ideas because oil wrestling was a bit simplistic for a challenge on this show.
You can download The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons on iTunes.

The Five Most (and Least) Anticipated Questions for 2012 Fall Television

Tonight starts the slow rollout of the fall network schedule with the return of The Voice (Go On, Parenthood, and Sons of Anarchy all return tomorrow) so I thought I would share some of the biggest questions going into the fall season of television.

1. Is Carrie Still Cray-Cray? Last season on Homeland, the crazier Carrie got, the more entertaining the show got culminating in the great episode where Carrie went off her meds and created some crazy genius wall collage. Unfortunately like every other crazy person on television last season she elected to have electo-shock therapy. I cannot image she will be sane enough to rejoin the CIA even if everybody learns she was right about Brody all along. Of course this is television so they will probably find away unless she becomes a private contractor for Saul.

2. What Will the Purple Mist Bring to Storybrooke? Okay, the clear answer is that the purple mist we saw in the season finale of Once Upon a Time was magic, so the real question is what that means for the characters? And how do the relationships change now that everybody knows each other’s past? Oh yeah, and Captain Hook better be epic.

3. Will The Governor Be As Awesome as the Comic Book People Say? During the long slog that was the second season of The Walking Dead, all I heard from the comic book people was just wait until they get to The Prison. The Governor, who runs the place, is awesome. And Michonne, who made a cameo in the season finale with her armless and jawless slaves, is also up there in entertainment value. I have come to distrust The Walking Dead writers, so call me skeptical.

4. Will NBC’s Comedy Bet Pay Off? The last two times NBC doubled down on comedy did not really pay off. Two seasons ago they had their three hour comedy block on Thursdays that only lasted about two months. And of course there was the Jay Leno Hour disaster before that. Now they are going to a comedy block every weekday except Mondays (unless you consider Christina Aguilera’s coaching style on The Voice laughable). Surprisingly they ear not even laughing any new comedies during their much vaunted (but lowly watched) two hour Thursday night block. Instead Animal Practice and Guys with Kids are put out on an island to start Wednesdays. Go On and The New Normal do get the cushy post-The Voice slot on Tuesdays (except in Utah where the gay-homosexuals got banned, natch). While returning shows Whitney and Community get sent off to the Friday death slot in what may be the weirdest pairing ever. Will all this funny work out? Of the ten shows on the fall schedule (and four waiting for midseason, including The Office spin-off) I would be surprised if over half make it to Fall 2013. If I were Vegas, I would put the over/under at four, which would mean ten get the ax.

5. Is Beavis and Butt-Head Returning? Seriously, Beavis & Butthead was one of the few reboots that were just as good as the original run (aside from the boys watching crappy television). But after the show ended I have not heard anything about the show since be it renewed or canceled. Yet MTV keep on churning out unfunny live action comedies.


Speaking of the great philosopher Butt-Head who once gave us this gem, “If it weren’t for things that sucked, how would we know if something was awesome?” Here are five questions no one cares enough to have answered.

1. Who Is the Titular Mother? Unless they somehow explain that Victoria was the mother on How I Met Your Mother all along, I still do not care.

2. What Turned Off the Lights on Revolution? Do not care. J.J. Abrams is a hack.

3. Has Haden Panettiere Learned How to Act Yet? A couple weeks ago, someone asked me if I thought that Brody’s wife on Homeland was the worst actress of all-time. I laughed at the assertion, not only is she not the worst of all time, she is not even the worst actress that currently has a job especially considering Hayden is co-headlining Nashville this fall. What is worse is she has to share the screen with one of the greats in Tami Taylor. Hurmph. It is too late to recast her with Julie Taylor?

4. Will Blair from Facts of Life Be Annoyingly Religious? In a word: yes. Why does Survivor always recruit these religious zealots that make normal Christians look bad? Is this some sly anti-Christian crusade by the show? Of course the better is will she make it to the family / friends reward, and did she choose to bring Tootie to the island?

5. Wait, The CW still exists? Who knew?


And here is what I will be watching this fall and when they return. Mark your calendars.


Mondays
8:00 How I Met Your Mother (September 24)
8:00 - Switched at Birth (Already premiered)
8:00 – The Voice (Tonight)
9:00 – 2 Broke Girls (September 24)
10:00 – Castle (September 24)

Tuesdays
9:00 – Go On (September 11)
9:00 – Happy Endings (October 23)
9:30 – Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 (October 23)
10:00 – Parenthood (September 11)
10:00 – Sons of Anarchy (September 11)

Wednesdays
8:00 – Survivor: Philippines (September 19)
8:00 – The Middle (September 26)
8:30 – The Neighbors (September 26 premieres at 9:30; moves to 8:30 on October 3)
8:00 - Animal Practice (September 26)
9:00 – Modern Family (September 26)
9:30 – Suburgatory (October 17)
10:00 – Nashville (October 10)
10:00 – The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons (September 19)

Thursdays
8:00 – The Big Bang Theory (September 27)
8:00 – Last Resort (September 27)

Fridays
8:00 – Last Man Standing (November 2)
8:30 – Community (October 19)
9:00 – Grimm (time slot premiere, September 14)

Sundays
8:00 – Once Upon a Time (September 30)
9:00 – Revenge (September 30)
9:00 – Dexter (September 30)
9:00 – The Walking Dead (October 14)
10:00 – Homeland (September 30)

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 5/20/12

Once Upon a Time: I call shenanigans. How it is after countless numbers of times that Emma has touched the book that this time is the time she touched it and all the saddened started to believe? Shenanigans. And why, at this point, does no one go with true love’s kiss to begin with? It popped in my mind last week when Henry first ate the turnover yet no one realized that it could cure him until after it happened. I am a bit surprised that the curse ended up breaking at the end of the first season finale. So are there going to be any fairytale flashbacks next season? It seems silly if there is going to be magic and everyone knows their past in the real world.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Mad Men: Like last week when all I could think about was why is Rory Gilmore giving it up to the obnoxious Pete Campbell (and what the frack was Mr. Belding doing there), this week all I could think of after the episode was why was Rory Gilmore topless on Mad Men? I vaguely remember Betty eating whip cream out of a can and the Jewish alien throwing a hissy fit, but the stunt casting on the show this season is really getting distracting. Almost as distracting: titling the episode Dark Shadows the same week the movie reboot is released to theaters.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: The first half reminded me of the most recent Community clip show that was not an actual clip show where the writers complied all their half baked ideas into one show. The second half was pretty predictable as I saw Barney proposing to Quinn via magic trick only for the bride turning out to be Robin miles away, the same for Victoria showing up to the bar on her wedding day with Ted driving her back to the church. Granted I did not see him driving past it. Not that I really mind because much like Robin, I think Victoria is the best girlfriend Ted has had and certainly the only one I would like see ending up the mother. Though it would be hard to explain how she turns out to be the mother if Ted met the mother at Barney’s wedding as previously stated.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Suburgatory: Holy James Ingram< sighting! I actually thought James was going to turn out to be Lisa’s real father but I guess her brother is still in play. You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: I am always against the “x amount of time early” cold open to an episode, but to promise a death early on only for it to turn out to be a dog is cruel and inhumane. Just how many death sequences can one show screw up?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: For the second half the season, it has been fun watching each episode trying to figure out the exact moment where Chevy Chase really got fed up with the absurd storyline. I think we had a winner with the 8-bit episode. As much as I loved the old school Nintendo games, it was hard not to think that Scott Pilgrim vs. the World’s ode to the time period in gaming was much better with its live action homage. And it is odd that they ended the season not with the epic heist episode but the more low key (or as low key as an episode with an evil doppelganger trying to hack off someone’s arm can be) trail episode especially since they just did a Law and Order episode not too long ago. It was like the season Buffy the Vampire Slayer vanquished the Big Bad in the penultimate episode and spent the finale dreaming about cheese.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/22/12

Mad Men: How disappointing that Trudy Campbell did not do the Zoo Be Zoo dance at her dinner party. On the bright side, I finally got to see someone beat the crap out of her husband which I have waited to happen since the first season.
You can download Mad Men on iTunes.

The Voice: If I were Mark Burnett, my mantra for The Voice would be “Don’t be American Idol.” Idol is a painfully bad amateur karaoke contest and The Voice has pretty much done everything right in two season (sure I can knick pick some of the coach’s decision *cough*Erin Martin*cough*) even the phrasing they use is better than Idol. Contestants are eliminated on Idol. Singers on The Voice “win” battles. Then in the Live Shows there are America’s “Saves” and Coach “Saves”, very positive words. But The Voice had an epic fail this week by introducing Instant Elimination. “Elimination”: a very negative word. If anything should be eliminated it is the Instant Eliminations next season.

Sure Blake Shelton went the easy and obvious root by chopping off Jordis who did not receive America’s vote last round and gave another mediocre performance. Christina Aguilera had a much tougher decision because he save last time, Ashley De La Rosa gave the strongest performance of the night. With that said, I still thought going into the elimination that Jesse Campbell was the most safe, Ashley still would have been a safe pick to go, Lindsey Pavao has been the front runner on the team but gave a very bland performance, and I thought Chris Mann was most likely to go after a painful performance and a string of boring performance. But Christina booting Jesse is the most shocking moment in two seasons of The Voice. Christina just cannot win, prior to the elimination she had the moment of the night when she and a couple male strippers serenaded Blake with Hillbilly Bone and no one is talking about that because of the elimination.

Almost as disappointing as Jesse’s elimination was Lindsey’s performance. I was ready to pronounce her the winner after her amazing performance of Say Aah and her performances of Heart Shape Box and Somebody That I Used to Know were weirdly awesome, but Part of Me just did not work. What’s worse is when she announced she was going to perform Rihanna I thought to myself, “wow, this should be interesting, I can’t wait to hear what she does with this medley (assuming her medley was not an actually medley like Moses Stones) but when she changed it to Katy Perry, my first thought was, “Ugg.” (I pretty much had the same reaction when Naia Kete went from doing a reggae version of Turning Tables to a straight version of the song; seriously, someone needs to take away his Adele album before we are stuck hearing Jermaine Paul’s version of Rumour Has It).

As shocking as it was, Jesse being shown the door was not even the most surprising moment of the week as I was much more shocked when Carson announced Chris Mann was saved by America, looking at Christina’s feigned clapping and Adam’s blank face after the reveal, I was not the only one that did not see this coming. If Christina thinks Tony Lucca is one-dimensional, what does she think of Chris? Is there such a thing as a fourth of a dimension? The guy is a bore and his version of Viva la Vida was painfully bad and was the only time this season I considered muting the television that did not involve Erin Martin. What is worse is that he was the least selling contestant from his team on iTunes. There is a significant flaw in the voting system of The Voice when the worst selling artist can get voted through especially when it is at the expense of the person who sold the most (who was Ashley this week). I suggested this last season and I am going to again, they should give equal weight to each voting method: 33% for online voting, 33% for phone calls, and 33% for iTunes sale. That way the people who use their hard earned money to support their favorite contestants are not drowned out by the fanatics that create hundreds fake accounts to stuff the ballot for less deserving contestants like Chris.



You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can download music from this week in the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Nothing depressed me this week more than realizing I am Ted when it comes to living without a roommate.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

2 Broke Girls: Someone should have told Max that yes the government takes taxes right out of her paycheck, but if she filed her tax returns she makes so little she would probably get almost all of that back.

Castle: If there is not a Slaughter spin-off on ABC’s schedule next season I am going to be severely disappointed. At the very least he better show up in at least five episodes next season (and one more this season). I worried a little that we did not see him again because when Beckett took over the case I thought they were going to have it that Slaughter set the whole thing up and murdered Glitch.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: Ever since the introduction of the auction into the game I have wondered why no one goes, I would rather pocket the $500 dollar because I am certainly not spending that kind of money on a bowl of peanut butter and Tarzan finally put his money to practical use. Until he changed his mind. As befuddling is when people who clearly on the bottom of their alliances are content to get max sixth (unless you can win immunity that round) place instead of a guaranteed fifth place and a possibility of a win. But on the bright side, we are almost guaranteed to have more Kat, who cannot grasp the concept of an auction at $20 increments or what the “B” in BLT stands for, in our lives, at least to the final four, and that is fine by me.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Oh Alicia Silverstone, where have you been these last lonely fifteen years. Can we just go ahead and add her to the cast already?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: It is about time Vicky’s former life caught up to her, unfortunately Emily did not stick around to see it. And just what was Emily doing making a spare key from the thug that sent a “message” to Daniel in pison?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: After this episode, I am beginning to understand Chevy Chase’s voice mail rants. But then again, who can complain too much when there are double Annie Edision’s involved.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 4/14/12

Mad Men: There are very few things I hate less on television than dream sequences. They are basically writers saying, you know that five minutes you just invested yourself in? Psych! It was just a dream. But the thing about the dream sequence in this week’s episode is I sniffed it out as a dream sequence as soon as the mistress knocked on the door. And of course Don poorly pushing her dead body under the bed made it quite clear that it was a dream sequence (though it is not entirely clear when exactly reality stopped and the dream started, did she really show up at Don’s door? Did she leave after they made coitus? Or maybe it was not a dream sequence and Megan disposed of the body. I wonder how this affects the Over / Under of how many episodes it takes this season until Don cheats on Megan.)

The Voice: Before the episode on Monday I wrote on my Facebook page that Christina Aguilera was the only reason to tune in because I figured before anyone sang a note, Mathai, Tony Lucca, and Pip were guaranteed to get America’s Vote barring one of them running off stage crying mid-performance (and I was right) and Cee-Lo’s team would suck massively (and for the most part I was right). I did not realize just how right I was in saying Christina was the reason to tune in (even though at the time I thought it was to see if she managed to look attractive for a second straight week which she did).

Then out of nowhere she calls Lucca one dimensional, I was so shocked had I had a DVR I would have rewound that to make sure I actually heard what I just heard. Christina has always been the most critical coach, but how she drop kicked him under the bus like that (and the show’s producers at the same time for casting him) was quite jaw dropping. But here is the thing, Christina, even if her delivery was not the best, was complete right with what she said. I own multiple albums by Lucca, love his version of Devil Town, and though his version of Trouble was one of the best of the Blind Audition, but his Battle Round performance and this week were lackluster and if I were Christina I would be pissed if I had on my team the best technical sing in the competition as well as the most entertaining performer and I lost because Justin Timberlake got his millions of fans to blindly vote for Tony when there are clearly to anyone watching there are much better singers than Tony. Not only do I no long think Lucca is the best performer this season, based on this week, I no longer think he is the best singer on his own team.

Although critical at times, Christina was pretty much spot on all night including when she called Mathai’s performance “loungy” which I completely agree with. But I completely disagree with Christina’s intent. For me loungy is not an insult and coming from he is is high praise and Mathai clearly had the best performance on the night. With all the guitarists on stilts, male strippers, and faceless political henchmen, it takes true talent to be captivating with just a mic stand with you on stage and Mathai was (even with the gratuitous up-close armpit shot). Her performance was the closest to Dia Frampton’s breakout performance of Heartless last season.

But god bless Cee Lo Green, he was horrible at picking his team (I cannot believe he actually talked about this multiple time about how much Twitter disagreed with his Battle Round selections) but you sure know how to pick songs even if you overdo it on the set pieces like when Tony Vincent looked like he was performing in Marilyn Manson’s interpretation of The Wall. I audibly laughed when he picked Don’t Leave Me This Way for Cheesa and yet it managed to work. On the flip side I yelled, “Nooo!!!” at the screen when Kim Yarbrough suggested to Adam that she do Rolling in the Deep breaking my Cardinal Rule for karaoke shows. Adam really failed as a coach to let her do this.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. Download songs from this episode using the widget at right.

How I Met Your Mother: Well, at least we are guaranteed that we will finally meet the mother sometime in the next two seasons. Unless the show pulls some crap and the mother is actually a step-mother.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Survivor: One World: I love tribal councils when so many people get multiple votes, the only thing that would have been better had it been Troyzan that had the most votes and for the first time since Heroes and Villains (and to my best recollection only the third time a played Idol affected the outcome). But you have to wonder what exactly the game plans are for Leif and Tarzan (who had the best moment of the episode when he managed to fall off his perch just as Probst was saying the challenge was starting). I hate Colton and everything, but at least he was smart enough to create a misfit alliance, I wonder why no one has thought to resurrect it and bring in Christina, and trying to get at least one more girl. Too bad Troyzan let his ego get in the way and voted out Mike last week because not it is too late to get a counter alliance going because I do not see the five girls in the original alliance cracking at this point.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com.



Suburgatory: Dalia has a therapy season with James Lipton and a dog and adopts a kangaroo. I cannot believe I typed a sentence like that.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Community: An episode dedicated to a lack of shame? Wow, when the show fails, it fails big.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/19/12

Once Upon a Time: When Mr. Gold started beating the owner of Game of Thorns (great name) for contributing to the death of his daughter I thought there was no way they actually killed off Belle. When the Evil Queen talked about how she threw herself out of a tower I thought there was no way they killed of Belle. During Gold and Regina’s discussion in the jail I thought to myself, there is no way they killed off Belle. And just when I thought, well maybe they actually did kill off Belle, Regina started entering a code at the hospital (who puts a secret room behind an emergency exit?) and goes down the mental ward (I assume) wear we see that Belle is in fact alive and well in the real world. It only took half the season, but this was the first great plot twist on the show. Hopefully Regina has more characters down there. And the show really needs to forget about focusing on the battle between Emma and Regina and spend more time on the battle between Regina and Gold.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time on iTunes.

Shameless: Greatest wedding toast ever. From now on, you cannot consider it a good wedding toast unless someone pulls a gun on you.

The Walking Dead: After the mid-season finale I was ready to come back with a vengeful Hershel killing off everybody, Shane, Rick, Lori, T-Dog, Andrea, Dale, Carol; he could have mercy on Glen and Daryl if he wishes, but I would like to see most of the main cast brutally murdered. Unfortunately that did not happen (of course there is no way Lori could possibly survive that car crash and if so would be eaten before someone finds her; but I but she manages to avoid death) but at least they finally introduced some interesting characters in the form of Britt from Terriers. Oh wait, they killed him before the end of the episode. I really hate this show.
You can stream recent episodes over at amc.com. You can also download The Walking Dead on iTunes.

House of Lies: Seeing Veronica Mars in her pedestrian clothes again, it is just a reminder how she is wastes wearing pant suits all the time. I may have to start up a Free Ronnie campaign.

How I Met Your Mother: When Robin told Ted that Kumar dumped her I thought, “oh crap, they better not get these two back together” and minutes later Ted tells Robin he loved her. Uggg. If we have to sit through another season of Ted and Robin coupled I may finally have to give up on the show.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The Voice: What a bunch of tomato cans all of the constants were this week. I’d be shocked if any of them make it out of the Battle Round. Hopefully the show did not just front load all the great talent for after the Super Bowl because think we still have two more weeks of Blind Auditions.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.

2 Broke Girls: Apparently the writers have heard the critique of how often the resort to vagina jokes on the show and actually outted the word as Max’s favorite.

The Lying Game: I realize the problem with the show: not enough red herrings, and by not enough I mean none. Who killed the drug dealer was pretty easy to figure out because it had to be the DA (or someone he hired to do it) because there were no other possibilities but him. Same with the twins parents: it has to be Rebecca and Ted because there is no one else. The show really needs to build a mystery better.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The Lying Game on iTunes.

Castle: I do not know what Alexis would not tell her dad of her new internship, he was going to find out the first time they get called in. And as someone who has had to do trunk duty when we could not find enough designated drivers back in college, I doubt the lack of oxygen theory that Beckett had. But there has to be a reason why the trained assassin let them live, I am guessing he turns out to have gone rouge for the greater good.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Castle on iTunes.

The River: The cameraman realizing he had to go underground to retrieve the antidote was the greatest use of censorship since The Osbornes went off the air. But then ending of the tribesmen backing off because someone sacrificed themselves was just absurd. I wonder how long it takes the crew to realize they should listen to the Spanish chick jungle legends before running off on an adventure willy nilly?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: If someone takes out my kidneys, said I need to get twenty grand in four hours or I die and hands be a gun to get the job done, I do not care if I am a wanted fugitive, I am shooting the dude and taking my kidneys to the nearest hospital to be put back in. But God bless Dewey Crowe, not only does he not realize that none of the symptoms the nurse detailed were happening, he is the only person that does not realize that all store clerks keep shotguns under the counter. But it was weird watching the episode considering that it had the same theme as one of the plots of Raylan (see my review: It's a Shame He Wasn't a Wanted Felon so I Could Shoot Him He Resisted) but still changed a bunch of details.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Parenthood: Seriously, someone needs to tell Bob Little, nailing the intern is the number one Cardinal Rule of politics and with, as Michael Bluth would say, “Her?”. But poor Amber, this is the first time she gets some action on the show since the premiere and it gets interrupted by her aunt.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Parenthood on iTunes.

Suburgatory: Tessa trying to sing has to be the funniest thing of the week. I have re-watched that way too many times.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Suburgatory on iTunes.

Revenge: There is nothing I hate more in television than episodes that open with a “x amount of time earlier” and Revenge is the first show that I can remember doing it in the first episode with a resolution not coming until later in the series. And now that we have finally seen the series come full circle, I may be more let down that I expected. From the first episode I expected Daniel not to be the dead body and from the moment he stepped on screen I knew the rent boy would be the one that ended up dead even though he looked nothing like Daniel and no one would confuse the two. But it managed to be even more disappointing because the premiere’s first scene just did not seem to sync up well with the most recent episode. Making things worse, the plot they teased in the premiere, Jack killing Daniel, is a much more interesting plot twist than what presumably happened: Amanda killing rent boy and framing Daniel. Or Jack. Actually I am not really sure what was going on. Why did Amanda smear blood on Jack and then drive off to the beach? Did she try to set up two people to make sure no one comes after her? After a really good first ten episodes, the show really fumbled this moment. Hopefully it can get back on track by the finale.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: It is a shame that Leonard did not have as the tie breaker a foot race, because that would have been more entertaining than throwing the ball the highest, although maybe it would have been too much like Sue Heck trying out for Cross Country.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 2/12/12

Shameless: I totally missed that Karen said she was pregnant last week. Not only did I miss it last week, I even missed it this week during the “previously on” segment. It was not until they started discussing it during the episode and wondered why they brought it up flippidly and had to go back to the “previously on” package to go, yeah, totally missed that.

Pretty Little Liars: When the first introduced the step sister last season I thought she would be a great foil for Hanna and was a bit disappointed last week when she played the shy, fish out of water card but I was just awe struck at how evil her plan was when it was revealed she was the one who sent out the naked picture of herself. Spencer said uit best that doing so would have gotten her arch-nemesis in major trouble, made all the girls pity her and all the guys lust after her. Brilliant. Almost, because if you have a massive birthmark on one side, how about instead of airbrushing it, how about taking a picture from the other side?
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pretty Little Liars on iTunes.

The Voice: Who would have guessed after one week Christina Aguilera would be sitting in the pole position after one week? Her team was so embarrassingly bad last season, if the teams went head to head last year instead battled with your own team (which would have made for a much more interesting show) Christina may not have had anyone in the top ten. I would have guessed anyone who watched last season would instantly choose Blake Shelton who was clearly the best coach last season, yet he is sitting with the worst team so far (maybe a little karma from his horrible Footloose cover). I wonder if people went for Christina knows her team might be so bad that they could easily make it to the finals?

Last season when Dia Frampton trotted on stage she looked familiar and when the scanned to sister in the friend and family room, I was like, oh yeah, that’s Meg & Dia, I have them on my iPod. And that actually happened to me three times this year (and we are just one week in) including Angel Taylor, Juliet Simms of Automatic Loveletter and not only so I have songs by Tony Lucca, I own an entire album by the guy. And let’s not forget that his version of Devil Town was the soundtrack to not one, but two scenes in the first season of Friday Night Lights.

So once again The Voice is filled with semi-professional singers (and is better show than the other amateurish singing competition because of it), but the biggest standout of the first week was the rare novice on the show Lindsey Pavao who gave a weird coffee house performance of Trey Songz ’ Say Aah which was so bizarre it worked (unlike the Alicia Keys backup singer who went with Avril Lavigne’s Complicated as his auction song) and was the only audition so far to crack the iTunes Top 25. She became the cornerstone of Christina’s team along with early frontrunner Jesse Campbell (him and Lucca are currently 1 and 1a) a well as The Line who put in a solid performance of American Girl which it a pretty idiot proof song (unlike a dude singing Complicated). Though I feel bad because it is clear he is into her more that she is into him, and with his partner and Christina, dude will stuck between a wall of cleavage all season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download songs from The Voice on iTunes (see widget at left).



How I Met Your Mother: The three rooms was a novel concept, but if you are going to go room by room, stay in the room, do not slide into another for a couple seconds and go back.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

The River: Even if ABC had not pounded it into our heads for the past month, it is pretty clear that it was from the same guy who did Paranormal Activity: you had your found footage and had to pay close attention for something creepy to happen, but nothing particularly scary happens until the end and the guys are extremely dumb and do not know when to put the camera down and run. Seriously, the one dude just heard the story about hanging up dolls to appease the spirit only to take one down and then wonder why things started to happen. Then you had the cameraman who taunted one spirit, watch it kill his coworker, then decided to taunt yet another spirit the next day. How are these guys still alive? Seriously, when the Spanish chick says you’re going to some place that is “Untranslatable” it is time to turn around guys. Untranslatable is never good. How are these guys still alive? But having made it through two of the eight episodes, Eloise Mumford’s (and sons) tank top should help me get through the final six.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download The River on iTunes.

Justified: Holy Loretta McCready sighting! I knew Raylan would eventually come and save her from Tim Allen. I know the previews make it look dire, but I hope Dewey survives the operation because I am really hoping for a hillbilly Oz type spinoff featuring Dewey and Dickie in prison. But the best of the episode was yet another classic Raylan showdown, and this time he did not even brandish his gun, instead ran a dude over. Twice. Awesome. But let’s pour some out for poor old Herc. He gets out of his wheelchair just to be double crossed by another dude in a wheelchair.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Justified on iTunes.

Modern Family: Doesn’t Saturday Night Live have a recurring skit like the Greg Kinnear gag that stopped being funny around the second time they did it? They should have spent more time with Hayley’s Little Sister, there probably would have been a lot funnier in that storyline.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu.



Revenge: The show continued its weekly Holy Frack moment, but after it was revealed to Charlotte that her father was not really her father (by the dad at that) I realized, well, we already knew that so really it was not that exciting reveal. Hopefully the engagement party provides some fireworks (and not the ones in the sky), but I have a feeling that it will not be Daniel that Jack kills but instead will be whoever RSVP in Emily’s revenge stash, I am guessing will be the gay man whore even though he looks nothing like Daniel. They better play this right because they are skirting on a Jump the Shark situation.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: It is a little disturbing that all these contestants could get pop culture questions right but not who assassinated Kennedy. I guess we should be happy that Paula actual guessed someone who assassinated a president. Oh yeah, and she was the one who won. But seriously, more spelling and history questions in the future.
You can stream recent episodes over at mtv.com. You can also download The Challenge: Battle of the Exes on iTunes.

The Big Bang Theory: I like how other television shows are taking pot shots at Lost. It really deserves to be ridiculed.
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download The Big Bang Theory on iTunes.

57 Channels and Only This Is On - 12/11/11

Once Upon a Time: We finally learn who the blonde is, she turned out to be the daughter of King Midas. Granted when he pulled out his arm out I thought he was Goldfinger who is just as much a fairytale character as King Midas. But I guess mythology opens the show up to a whole bunch of potential characters. And does Ted Mosby’s most annoying girlfriend seriously have the Thriller jacket is a rainbow variety of colors?
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Once Upon a Time.

Homeland: So who is the mole? For the half an episode where Brady was absolved from being the person that passed his captor the razor blade, the thought that Saul did it crossed my mind. And Brady can be blamed for alerting the couple who bought the house near the airport, but someone inside the CIA had to alert Tom Walker about the meet unless the Saudi diplomat tipped him off and essentially became a suicide. Two more episodes left and hopefully the wrap this storyline up and move onto a new one next season.

Pan Am: Every spy show has done it, but I ever understood the steal a list of CIA assets mission before it is sold on the black market because wouldn’t whoever made the list just make another one if it is stolen? But anyway. I am just upset that none of my family friend’s daughters grew up to look like Ashley Greene.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Pan Am on iTunes.

How I Met Your Mother: Wait, what just happened? Did they really switch the narration of the show for the first time in seven seasons with Robin talking to her kids instead of Ted just to be all “Psych” at the end? Huh?
You can stream recent episodes over at cbs.com. You can also download How I Met Your Mother on iTunes.

Sons of Anarchy: I am still disappointed Clay is still alive, but at least they came up with a better reason to keep him around than my prediction that he is hauled off to jail. I did not seeing Machete being CIA. But that twist kept there from being any action in the finale. I was waiting for the dad of the hit and run victim to show up at the end and go on a shooting spree, but I guess they planted that seed for next season. So we were left with a bit of a bore of a season finale, and really season four as a whole felt like a big tease, two cliffhanger deaths that did not end up happening and a big crackdown that got shut down but reval government agencies. It was not as bad as the Ireland season, but they better have plenty of payoffs next season.
You can stream recent episodes on Hulu. You can also download Sons of Anarchy on iTunes.

Revenge: Maybe it is all the repeats recently, but it has seemed it has been way too long since Amy Abbot has destroyed somebody’s life. I want at least one person brought down per every two episodes.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Revenge on iTunes.

Community: As a straight heterosexual dude, I have naturally never seen an episode of Glee, but after watching Community’s awesome send up of the show I may have to check it out to see if is really that awesome, especially if they have a character like Annie Edison on the show.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Community on iTunes.

Chuck: Please let there be an uncensored version of this episode leaked to the internets in the near future.
You can stream current episodes on Hulu. You can also download Chuck on iTunes.